December 20, 2022 • 40 mins
In episode 110 of Thanks, I Hate It! Brittany and Windsor end 2023 with a joyful discussion of the pagan roots of Christmas and some of the most popular Christmas traditions.
Sip some wine and kick back your feet and lets get into it.
Sip some wine and kick back your feet and lets get into it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, it's Brittany and Windsor andyou're listening to Thanks. I hate it.
I hate a lot of stuff.Today. Girls Save a bi weekly
social commentary podcast where two friends shootthe shit about social issues. Throotiad it.
I'm suspecting targets. I think theysuspect it by now they should if
(00:20):
they don't. And I think she'sdrinking Mitchells. I am after my brownie.
I also have whiskey and cranberry gingerale. But this is Windsor.
This is Windsor Canadian whiskey, sothat shoulday in Windsor Canadian whiskey is how
I happy? Saved in my phoneStill, after all of these years,
(00:44):
your name is too long in myphone for most of it to come up.
Parts of it come up, andI accept it. Yes, I'm
drinking nothing. I need some water. Yeah, I drink water today.
Clank as we start, we justwant to wish everybody a happy Hanukkah.
(01:11):
Today is the first when we're accordingtoday is the first day of hanka will
be putting up a buss about it. We will at some point today today
and today we are taking it backto the pagan roots of our Christmas traditions,
(01:34):
because listen, baby, cume thatshit up. Cut it up.
So for anyone of you that don'tknow, UM, if you think that
Christmas started with Christianity, you arebrain dead. Um, I'm so sorry
if that was what you believed.I'm so sorry if I'm ripping the Christ
(01:55):
and Christmas. Let's the shooter spoolthe Saturn in Christmas as you should.
When Saturn Saturn sta, we'll getto her. We will get to her.
So Christmas obviously is coming up.We are literally one week away from
(02:16):
Christmas Day. Are you in theChristmas spirit windsor? Because I'm not,
most of the people who I knoware not. So So here's how how
it is. I feel like thisyear flew by so fucking fast, like
it was just fucking Halloween. Howis it already almost Christmas? Like I'm
in, I'm I'm in Christmas twentyfour seven. Like if I could be
(02:37):
Halloween and Christmas all year round,I would, just because I love the
vibes. But I just feel likeit's not Christmas yet. It's not and
we're a week away and it's usuallysame. I'm like in that space where
I'm like, okay, I justbecause we have so much shit going on
that it's kind of like, butI do love Christmas and as long as
(02:59):
I can make the kids, youknow, yes, So, Brittany,
I believe you're bringing us in today. But we're talking about the pagan origins
of Christmas. I almost said thepagan origins of Christianity, which would be
on a different podcast. So we'retalking about the pagan origins of Christmas.
I forget where I was going withmy original comment, and so I'm going
(03:21):
to breathe right past it as ifI didn't even say it, because I
can't even remember it. As wedo as what we do. So,
contrary to popular belief, Christmas isnot the day you think it is.
So we celebrate Christmas as this commercialclusterfuck every single year, maybe not this
year. A lot of us aretightening those pants strings or wallet clenches or
(03:47):
whatever you do with your money.We're holding onto it because things are so
expensive, and honestly, we're fuckingdrowning most of us. Yep, very
thankfully. Gas is going down alittle bit, but the food's not.
Fucking God, gases going down alittle bit, Please Jesus, we can't
(04:10):
do this, um, normally it'sthis huge, like flamboyant clusterfuck of commercialism
and um for a specific religion,religious fanaticism. Um. But that's actually
not where it started. It didnot start on the birthday of the Christian
cult leader. His name was JesusChrist. Um. It started well,
(04:32):
well, well before then, manya century. Okay, so um.
Also really fun fact, Christmas wasdetermined to be on December twenty fifth in
the United States in eighteen seventy,so while we were still getting people out
of slavery, after it was officiallydecided that slavery was over, we're just
(04:54):
like, let's star Christmas in there. So I don't know. That was
a fun fact that the History Channeltold me, and I ran with it
and then you're like, but why, Like, no, I can't.
I will never ask why they didanything that they did, Probably because it's
far enough away from the winter solsticewhere they could play it off, or
the people were like, one daywe're gonna have to work, so we're
(05:18):
gonna do this exactly one week beforeNew Year, so we can take ten
days off, two weeks, tendays off of work, and only take
off three eggs. Centuries Christians traumaOh, oh, yes, it's generational
centuries prior to Jesus. I wroteJesus people event so years like centuries and
(05:46):
centuries prior to Jesus's birth. Wow, this sentence doesn't make sense. Whatever
was happening, we were already celebrating. So I have page one of my
notes and then I have page onepoint five because I wrote some more stuff
on a different page. Um.So if we go back to the times
of like the Romans or Romans werebig into paganism. Oh, the Romans
(06:10):
were big into paganism. They werealways big into like mythology and the gods
that they believed in. They obviouslydidn't call it mythology. They literally just
called it like religion or whatever Imean is a mythology. Christianity is mythology,
Islamism mythology, Buddhism is a mythology. They're all mythology, all mythology.
And that's no shade, that's noshade, no tea. That's just
(06:33):
what it is. That's just reality. Yeah, and you know, if
you believe in your mythology, youknow what we're happy for you exactly that
you don't be a dick about it. Don't be proselytizing over here. But
the Romans um the real ones,not the current ones that I don't even
know if they're called Romans. Theyprobably are, but that sounds super But
(06:53):
yeah, the old school romans,not what you think of What do you
think of, yeah, Spartacus,Yeah, what you think of Romans in
Togas, that's what we're talking about. And what are those things that they're
riding chariots and ship That is wherewe first hear the rumblings of some type
of winter holidays. So what theycelebrated, They celebrated a variety of holidays
(07:16):
during what would be considered the Decembertimes. A number of places this gave
specific dates, but I'm not surewhich calendar or they were using. I
don't know if that was like preGregorian calendar, which very likely was,
And so what we think of asDecember may have been like nothing to them.
It may have just been a coupleof days for them. Yeah,
(07:38):
it really wasn't a calendar as muchas it was the moon cycles and the
cycles noon or calendar. Yeah,the lunar calendar. It was the they
went around what was the shortest daythey went around the solstices exactly. Did
you know that in the year twentythirty five there will not be a hanaka
(07:59):
because how they use a different typeof calendar. I just saw this on
TikTok today, and that year becauseof how it is, there wouldn't because
it takes place on like a certainmonth of whatever. But in that year
they won't have it. No,it's twenty three oh five or twenty three
oh five or something like that.Yeah, I'll find the TikTok and I'll
(08:22):
send it to you. But thatshows. When I found that, I
was like, huh, okay,that's fucked up. Damn. That just
threw me off. But so theywent around the lunar calendar. Yeah,
round a lunar calendar. Winter holidays, specifically winter solstice. If anybody doesn't
know what the solstice is, it'sthe longest for the shortest day within a
(08:43):
year or so. Summer soltis.So the summer solstice is the longest day,
which we generally are looking at likea June twenty second through June twenty
six something like that, and thenwinter solstice is the shortest day, I
mean meeting time with daylight, andwe're looking at it like a December twenty
first through December twenty third ish,and that is the shortest day or shortest
(09:11):
period of daylight in that year.And that is where the Romans and the
ancient folk I was calling them tribesin my imagination, but where they were
celebrating. And the reason that theywere celebrating is because they have gone through
the hardest parts of the winter.Because remember they didn't have global warming quite
(09:31):
like we have it, and sotheir winners were hardcore, and so they
were going through those longest days ofwinter. They got through the most grueling
parts. And now we have reachedthe day of the year. We've all
built up to this, the dayof the year that has the shortest amount
of daylight, and it's all upfrom here. We are going it's more
daylight and it's basically it's so thewinter solstice. From what I read was
(09:58):
it's sexy. It is bait.It was sexy, but they were celebrating
that they didn't have to tend tothe crops anymore at that point they were
getting fucked up. It was aparty because they could fucking relax well.
And it was also a party becauseof the fact that they were at the
point where they're just like, listen, it's time that slaughter all our cattle
because of the fact that we don'twant to keep beating them through the winter.
(10:20):
So we're going to have all thisfresh meat. And so now they've
got the freshest meat that they're goingto have all year. They're there wasn't
like twenty billion people on the worldor however many people we had, now
it was a lot less people.So you could slaughter your cows and then
then have enough food for everybody inyour village. And that is often what
(10:43):
I do, um personally, slaughtermy cows and exactly exactly those fucking hafters.
But the first of the celebrations thatthey had was Saturnalia. Um,
she's from the Roman side of things. Was this what this was about a
two week festival where they celebrated thatgod's saturn not to be confused with the
(11:05):
car the saturn Ion, which shouldnot be celebrated. This is the god
of agriculture. So, like Windsorsaid, we're going into a period of
time where we're gonna have like plops, crops and planting going on. We
want to celebrate this god. Um, we want to feast, eat,
(11:26):
be married probably fuck because it wasthe Romans and that's where they were fucking
and they were getting fucked up,a burning it the fuck up and out,
absolutely, and they exchanged gifts predominantlywith children and the poor, two
tenants that we usually see around Christmastime. People want to finally help the
(11:46):
poor after three hundred and thirty fivedays of not getting a fuck about them.
So there was also a so giftgiving was also for it was like
a good luck gift. It waslike wishing it was a blessing for plentiful
crops and things like that. Inthe New Year, um, yeah,
(12:09):
the Romans really started spending too muchand getting a little capitalistic about it.
But at the roots of it itwas, yeah, I mean we can
relate. Come on. The rootof it was a little knick knack or
a little this and that as ablessing for each other. And like they
(12:30):
would even like how we light candles, they would like light a long strip
of whatever the fuck it was,and they would give that as a gift.
So as like a blessing and offeringfor you know, a plentiful New
Year. I'm gonna give Jay Lenalit piece of papaper he's gonna be like,
what is that one not light onfire? I would never not be
(13:00):
over that. I'll never be overthat, like because it doesn't make sense.
We're gonna paper does the irs?Use it's fucked up. It was
sucked up. But they would givethese gifts um. They would also take
greenery and shrubbery from around um theirhomes or I don't know what the Romans
lived in, if they lived inshacks or stuff. I'm not a history
person, but they would decorate theirhouses with it. They would decorate their
(13:24):
houses um with the greenery, thelights. They would give things to people.
Some would even temporarily free their slavesso that they could engage in festivities.
But when Monday came back around,just like we do now, telling
to go back to work, notyou know, comparing us to slaves.
(13:45):
But you know, I said whatI said. So they celebrated on exact
Christmas Day, the birth of Mithra. I was calling her Mirtha, which
sounds like birth Mithra, which isthe sun god. Because obviously, like
we just discussed, when you're solstice, our days were getting longer. We've
(14:07):
got more sunlight, very exciting duringthe darkest times of the year, many
ancient cultures slash groups would light Ohthis is another thing. So we've got
this Roman stuff going on. It'sa good time. We're also spreading this
concept across the continent of Europe,which I forgot Romans were a part of
(14:31):
because I don't know geography or Englishmost of the time. But we were
spreading this across time and space.You know, we're sharing it with other
groups. And so during the darkesttimes of the year, many ancient culture
slash groups would light fires that wouldhelp to keep the darkness away during that
solstice time, so like right beforewe're getting into the actual more daylight time,
(14:56):
and that continues some places to thisday, but specifically with the North,
they actually turned that into the Yuletradition. So we all talk about
like Yule time and fun, butdo we actually know what Yule is?
No? I didn't. What's up. Romans don't exist anymore. Romans don't
(15:18):
exist anymore. They're just Italians.That makes sense. Oh shit, let's
go, let's keep going. Ihad a thought, and I'm like,
let me look exactly because it doesn'treally make sense, but it makes you
wonder. That's right, they're Italians. God damn it. Whatever Italians couldn't
(15:39):
even be Italy. Yeah, sodumb. I mean you were the one
that thought to look it up.So one of us is at least smart
enough to go on her phone andfigure it out. You you'll want to
know more about it, and giveme some joy, give me some joy.
(16:03):
Joyful, joyful. Lord, weadore thee. It worked out,
It worked out. It was sopositive. Um, the North celebrated Yule
from late December to January. Idon't know what calendar gonna use, and
I don't care. This is nota historically accurate history podcast. This is
(16:25):
US, and you guys know thatwe do bare minimum. We're giving you
the pagan rituals that a Christianity stolefor idiots, exactly, for dummies.
But they would celebrate in late Decemberto January. And this is when again
the sun starts to come out more. There's more of that sunshine, so
we gotta fucking celebrate. So whatwould happen is the sons and their fathers
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because apparently there were no father lesssons at this time, would go and
get lost because they didn't go,they didn't have milk at a store.
Oh. They also didn't have cigarettesent a side home, um or the
side hose were just expected, andthat is what it is. The side
home was also probably a little tinyboy named heath Cliff something. It's just
(17:12):
so oh my god. They wouldgo get these logs, they would bring
them home, then they would lightthem, and they would basically party in
bullshit, um until the log burnedout, which usually lasted aid to twelve
days. UM. I guess theyhad their own little miracle. Wasn't as
(17:32):
fun. It was probably like abig ass fucking log team. I'm assuming
it was like a giant tree.It was like a tree that fell over
and they like pulled it into thetown center or something exactly. These are
the North So they were big motherfuckers. They're kind of like modern day Samoans
in my mind. And so theyactually just ripped the tree out of the
ground and they just brought it tothe town on the shoulder, on their
shoulder, lit it on fire,and partied until it went out. Um.
(17:56):
They did this because they believed thatevery single spark that would come out
of this fire would bring them goodfortune for livestock, for crops, for
things that they needed to survive andto live and so they would have this
party, it would do this burning, and then if the next year was
successful, they'd be like, ohit worked last year, we got to
do it again. And so thatis how the Yule came to be.
(18:18):
Obviously, it has been watered downto the point where we don't realize.
Yeah, the stories are just it'sjust kind of like the Christmas tree,
which I'll talk about. It's kindof like their stories of a little this
and that, but no one canreally say that that truly happened exactly.
(18:41):
But it makes that little cameras theydidn't have cameras. They didn't have cameras.
And now I kind of want toget a little log cake and maybe
build a little fun I kind ofwant to celebrate the winter solstice. Let's
get a bonfire and start selling,getting fucked up and dancing around the fire
and praising some guys. We've onlygot three days, so we let her
(19:03):
do this quickly. I'm gonna haveto make this money first, because your
bitches broke um this book. Butthat was another way that people celebrated.
Obviously, it's been passed down.Um, So now we talk about Yule
Time without actually thinking about it.It. Maybe they all have the audacity
to put yule Tide in Christmas songsexactly, And then they say, keep
(19:26):
the Christ in Christmas? What doyou want from us? We're confused.
You you want to take the Christ. You want to keep the Christ and
Christmas? But have Santa Claus.I have a Christmas tree, but have
an advert calendar, but on aday that Jesus wasn't born, Like that
Christianity dot com article that I sentyou, literally though, that was the
(19:51):
first little snippet, and then twoparagraphs later it directly contradicted itself. I
love a good contradiction. Yeah,contradiction, a conundrum wrapped in an enigma.
And I was listening to AI storytellingum and they did SpongeBob, like
(20:12):
a SpongeBob episode, and they calledSquidward an octopus. Hey, Brian wrapped
in depression. He is an octopusdepression. That's how I feel as a
person. Could you imagine Brian orCharles just hearing one side of our conversations
and they're just like the fuck exactly. Charles was in the next room anyways.
(20:37):
So that those are some of thetraditions of like historical pagan Christmas um,
some elements of non traditional Christian Christmas, not commercial Christmas. Regardless of
how you feel, they still seemto interject themselves into the things that we're
doing. Windsward, I've just decidedwe're celebrating you all the year. Commercial
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Christmas, always, always commercial Christmas. We talk about keeping Christ in Christmas.
But yet we have Christmas trees,we have all this stuff, and
there's nothing wrong with that. There'snothing wrong with you know, taking aspects
of a you know, traditions thatyou like and incorporating them to your own
(21:22):
as a whole. Like for example, in our families, if we like
traditions from Yule, or we liketraditions from Quanza, or we like traditions
from Hanaka or Christmas, we're welcometo incorporate them into our traditions, you
know, as long as we doit respectfully and with not like making fun
of or disrespect exactly exactly. So. But the thing is is that these
(21:51):
things are focused around the winter solsticebecause when the Christians were coming in and
colonizing these places and basically forcing thesepeople to convert to Christianity. And also
there's a lot of so there's alot of Christmas traditions that are also rooted
(22:14):
in Judaism because they took a lotof early Christians were converted Jews. And
why were they converted Jews Because theyhad no fucking choice force. So yes,
you'll see that with a lot ofthe stories of how the Christmas Tree
came to begin. So there's noset exact like different people say different things.
(22:37):
But see it was claimed that inGermany and about seven twenty three,
the English preparing a sacrifice that anoak tree dedicated to the god Thor.
This douchebag named Saint Boniface took anaxe to the tree, and when not
struck down by their god, heproclaimed to the out of Pagans that a
(23:00):
nearby evergreen was their holy tree.Other sources say that a fir grew on
the side of a fallen oak,which is like where they get like the
evergreen and whatnot. But trees havealways been used in rituals and decorations throughout
religions, throughout everything since the ancienttimes, and the Pagans especially would use
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like particular trees as their sacrifice pointbecause like that oak tree, for example,
was dedicated to the god Thor.So they'll have these specific trees that
are dedicated to the different gods,and they would put their sacrifices, whatever
they may be. I didn't gothat deep into it for that god at
(23:48):
that specific tree. So whether thattale is true or not, the evergreen
trees became part of Christian rites.In Germany and in the Middle Ages,
Paradise trees began to appear there andthey were meant to represent the garden of
Eden. These evergreen chees were hungwith apples and displayed in homes on December
(24:11):
twenty fourth, the religious feast dayof Adam and Eve. Other decorations were
added. Martin Luther reported reportedly firsthung lighted candles on a tree in the
sixteenth century. That sounds like afire witty to happen, Yes, and
it has happened. I definitely watchedan episode of Rescue nine one one when
(24:32):
I was little where somebody put Christmaslike fucking lit candles on their real Christmas
tree. Yes, that is actuallyan issue. Back in the fifteenth century,
there are reports which I think that'sthe fourteen right. Yeah, So
in the fifteenth century there are actuallyreports of people taking furs out of the
(24:55):
forest putting them in their homes.They didn't have any decorations on them,
but they were meant to be there, so you know, yeah there.
But basically the root of it isthey were ever green, so you didn't
They weren't dead in the winter whenit was cold, which was the thing,
(25:18):
like you can cut it. Andhonestly, I think subconsciously they didn't
understand why they stayed green even afterthey died, so like after you cut
it, if you cut it,I mean most of these people literally just
left him in the ground. Theyprobably thought it was magic or witchcraft or
something. Oh. Absolutely, sothat Christmas trees do have that ancient,
(25:44):
ancient even maybe before paganism roots tothem because of the fact that they are
ritualistic sacrifice points for many a deadand alive religion. Right. So,
but Christians being Christians, were like, I like this, you can't have
(26:07):
it, my God have it,right, I give it to my God.
And Christmas trees, I mean,as much like debate as the origin
of them goes, they really werepopularized quote unquote in Germany. Oh absolutely,
everything that I found also confirmed thatthey were popularized and decorated the way
(26:29):
that we do them now in Germany. At the time that you said,
even back in the Roman days,they were essential part in some way.
They weren't called Christmas trees obviously,and they may not have been first Paradise
tree Paradise tree, but they werepart of these festivals that they would have.
They were there to, you know, do whatever they were doing with
(26:52):
them. But I could also seelike the bobbles on them and stuff being
sacrifices to a deity. Oh absolutely, that I think really is where like
the decorations and stuff started to kindof come in because they were leftist sacrifices.
A sacrifice doesn't have to be somethingthat was alive and is now not.
(27:15):
You can also put things that areinanimate as a sacrifice because what comes
with sacrifice is the intention of it. Because regardless of whatever religion you are,
it's all based in the same thingof the energy you put into the
universe. So in a paganism,paganism is not witchcraft. Paganism and witchcraft
(27:44):
are two different things. You canbe a pagan and also a witch but
they're not interchangeable, and they're notone doesn't necessarily mean the other. But
here's the thing. Christians say thatthey're putting that good Christian energy into the
universe, not all Christians, butit's based in the same thing. You're
what is the energy you're putting intothe universe. And really that's what the
(28:06):
roots of paganism is really in,is in nature and in the gods and
in giving back. Paganism is aboutpositivity and putting good energy into the universe.
It's not like Christians are really whatmade Pagans have like this bad rap
oh of course, because guess whatwas the most popular populist religion. Paganism?
(28:37):
Man, we know that it's apart of so many other things,
so many other holidays and things likethat that we celebrate. We've talked about
quite a few holidays on here.I know we've had conversations about the roots
in Halloween across a variety of differentcultures. There's probably roots in Easter.
Maybe we'll deal with that and whatevermonth easters then, I know East or
(29:00):
resurrection. If your resurrection lasts formore than four hours, is you go
to see a doctor. If yourresurrection lasts for more than four hours,
you probably goes through the Department ofJustice, facts, facts, because we
need to have an investigation going on. But it's got roots and so much
of that we do, and sowe just wanted to give you guys that
(29:22):
insight. So advent calendars actually havea route in Paganism and I'm sure other
cultures as well, but it reallywas one of those things. And this
predated the entirety of Christianity, likein its entirety. So basically it wasn't
(29:45):
like for twenty five days you gota little something. It was basically little
celebrations that happened or little mementos thatthe end was coming. You know,
the winter solstice is coming, yourbrain is coming. It was just basically
a way to keep morale up.So you know, now it's a fun
(30:07):
way to get excited, like oh, I only have two more chocolates until
Christmas or whatever, But then itwas really like I only have two more
chocolates or whatever it was until Ican fucking take a break, get drunk
and get fucked. Yeah, becauselisten, both parties dead Ass Beyonce.
They were playing Beyonce's Cuffett and theywere getting drunk on Christmas and you know
(30:33):
they were by the fires doing theD D D D D bet you you
will see God, I'm getting drunkdrunk on you. I'm having hell oft
the time. Did that Brownie?No, I just thought that was funny.
(30:56):
I loved that. But yeah,so get out. So that's really
what the Advent calendar was about.It was really a way of not fucking
throwing yourself off a bridge. AndI honestly, now that you're saying this,
I feel like we should all getsome Advent calendars. I opened them
(31:18):
throughout the year, right, getan Advent calendar that's three hundred and sixty
four days and took Halloween. Ohmy gosh, I love it. I
also think it's very important to notethat in this when I was writing my
notes, the little bit of notesI did, right, I now,
(31:38):
mind you, I can't even sayit was autocorrect. It was one percent
me. I put Advent calendar mightkill step does not make sense Sometimes it'd
be like that. I feel likethat. But yeah, Santa gift giving
Advent calendars. The christis Christmas caroling. You want to know why Christmas caroling
(32:05):
was rooted in paganism because you wouldsing to the gods and what happened around
those solstices and the sat Saturn Saturnand Miss Saturn saturnalias celebrations as they would
be struggle, as they would besinging and dancing and getting jolly and marry
(32:30):
and you know what they were listen. I was reading this shit. I
was like, why don't we dothis anymore? This looks fun as fuck?
Christmas party not the same? Ibet you they were dancing naked around
those fires. Yeah, but theywere also fucking goats. So true,
(32:52):
that's very true. But those partieswere probably fucking lit. I also believe
that they likely smoked great weed.They smoked things that probably don't exist anymore.
I know they'll probably open your thirdeye. My third eye is about
to get open soon. I'm goingto have to manually open the mind shortly.
(33:17):
That is it, guys. It. We will see you in twenty
twenty three, what the fuck.Hopefully it'll be a much better time,
because, you know what, becausewe gotta change some shit about our lives.
Like you know what, I say, we just while you're at work
and anytime it goes over your fortyhours, I say, you write in
(33:38):
a notebook, and what you writeis you write shit for a book.
Let's write some books and sell them, motherfucker's. Let's and then we can
sell a book, right, thisis high hopes, and then we can
do it like we can sell likea three things, like oh, we
gotta we gotta quit work because wegotta write these next books. We're contract
(33:59):
to write the books. We don'thave any time to work. Meanwhile,
it'd be like deadlines in two weeksor like did you write anything? No,
we should probably go to the library. Huh do you have any adderall
so bad? So to morrow thosestory kids, we're gonna need adderall in
twenty twenty three. M well,need health in twenty twenty three and adderall
(34:22):
in twenty twenty three. Am youknow what? I think? I'm gonna
pull up our our New Year's wishesto you and yours and or you know
what we need to do one fortwenty twenty three. We have to Brian
just texting me. He smoked toomuch, so he's out for the count
(34:43):
situlations. You know that that trendx that X trend, yes, and
the what are we leaving behind intwenty twenty two trend? So my ick,
and what we're leaving behind in twentytwenty two is the fucking bullshit.
Ellie, I'm done. I'm tiredof the gender based hate crime. That
is life. Yeah, like I'mtired, Like I'm tired of being broke,
(35:12):
Like, oh I I'm we makeover one hundred thousand fucking dollars a
year. Ye where you know,most of a goal shoot foot. I'm
leaving that back behind in twenty twentytwo. My ich is also COVID.
We're leaving that behind in twenty twentytwo. Yes, please. What we're
(35:37):
also leaving behind is if you're sick, wear a mask, if you can't
stay home, because we understand thatthat's not always possible. We know that
stay home, Please stay home.And if you cannot wear a mask,
because guess what, masks are thenew norm now. If you're sick,
(35:59):
you have access to them, andyou have the knowledge and the education to
be like, you know what,i don't want to get other people sick,
so I'm gonna wear this mask.I don't want to share my germs.
And you know why we're seeing whatwe're seeing right now is because people
fucking refuse to wear their masks,and everybody has to be no compromise because
they all got COVID because people didn'trefuse to wear their masks. I'm also
(36:22):
leaving behind in twenty twenty two.Um, the the stigma around shitting in
public, Oh please, I've neverhad that stigma. No, but in
general, like I listen, wehave digestive is shoes. Okay. I
was minding my business in the bathroomand somebody had the audacity to come in
(36:45):
and be like, oh, so, I'm like, mind you fucking business,
And I should even harder, becauseyou know what, you save harder,
because you know, usually I'll betrying to like just sit like okay,
just wait for them to go.But no, sorry, I let
that shit go. You know this, This little baby tried to roast me
(37:07):
one time, but I wasn't madbecause they were a baby, and babies
be saying shit. It's like littletwo year old cous mommy, it's so
stinky. You're right when I tellyou, I had to pull up my
I had to wipe, pull upmy pants and wash my hands before I
saw that baby babars, I hada lot to me, right, it's
stinky. Do you have any Ithat you're leaving in twenty twenty two?
(37:30):
Debt illness and all of them stayingon this. Oh, we're also leaving
behind Elon musk. So did yousee that you're not allowed to cross post,
like you can't promote other apps onTwitter because they can't put like follow
(37:52):
me on Insta. It'll be ababy. I didn't know bad. He's
a baby. He can't deal withit. He's a baby. Yes,
most specifically behind, I'm not mwe're not doing this smooth sailing from here.
(38:25):
Yes, this smooth sailing. Weare leaving behind the bullshit. Listen,
We're getting closer to our forties.I'm ready to enter my comfortable cardigan
and pull up pants phase of mylife. Oh I'm already there. Like
I'm ready to full on embrace thecrisp, un ironic Christmas best phase of
(38:49):
my life. And guess what,bitch, I'm not sorry about it because
that's who we're going to best.But yes, so I love it.
As always for the past two overtwo years, Remember to drink your water,
(39:10):
remember that you're that bitch, won'tforever be that bitch, And have
a happy, healthy and safe andprosperous holiday season in New Year. You
know we're giving you the vibe.We're putting the vibe. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, huh. I don't knowwhat she's doing I am putting it
(39:34):
out there to the universe that ifwe fuck with you, you, the
Earth, the universe in a goodway. Yeah. So good night,
have a happy whatever you celebrate.Yep, if you celebrate all, you
know what, let's get fucked up, let's get backed up. Just be
(39:59):
the best you can be in twentytwenty three. I love it. I
love it. Good Night, goodnight,
Hi, it's Brittany and Windsor andyou're listening to Thanks. I hate it.
I hate a lot of stuff.Today. Girls Save a bi weekly
social commentary podcast where two friends shootthe shit about social issues. Throotiad it.
I'm suspecting targets. I think theysuspect it by now they should if
(00:20):
they don't. And I think she'sdrinking Mitchells. I am after my brownie.
I also have whiskey and cranberry gingerale. But this is Windsor.
This is Windsor Canadian whiskey, sothat shoulday in Windsor Canadian whiskey is how
I happy? Saved in my phoneStill, after all of these years,
(00:44):
your name is too long in myphone for most of it to come up.
Parts of it come up, andI accept it. Yes, I'm
drinking nothing. I need some water. Yeah, I drink water today.
Clank as we start, we justwant to wish everybody a happy Hanukkah.
(01:11):
Today is the first when we're accordingtoday is the first day of hanka will
be putting up a buss about it. We will at some point today today
and today we are taking it backto the pagan roots of our Christmas traditions,
(01:34):
because listen, baby, cume thatshit up. Cut it up.
So for anyone of you that don'tknow, UM, if you think that
Christmas started with Christianity, you arebrain dead. Um, I'm so sorry
if that was what you believed.I'm so sorry if I'm ripping the Christ
(01:55):
and Christmas. Let's the shooter spoolthe Saturn in Christmas as you should.
When Saturn Saturn sta, we'll getto her. We will get to her.
So Christmas obviously is coming up.We are literally one week away from
(02:16):
Christmas Day. Are you in theChristmas spirit windsor? Because I'm not,
most of the people who I knoware not. So So here's how how
it is. I feel like thisyear flew by so fucking fast, like
it was just fucking Halloween. Howis it already almost Christmas? Like I'm
in, I'm I'm in Christmas twentyfour seven. Like if I could be
(02:37):
Halloween and Christmas all year round,I would, just because I love the
vibes. But I just feel likeit's not Christmas yet. It's not and
we're a week away and it's usuallysame. I'm like in that space where
I'm like, okay, I justbecause we have so much shit going on
that it's kind of like, butI do love Christmas and as long as
(02:59):
I can make the kids, youknow, yes, So, Brittany,
I believe you're bringing us in today. But we're talking about the pagan origins
of Christmas. I almost said thepagan origins of Christianity, which would be
on a different podcast. So we'retalking about the pagan origins of Christmas.
I forget where I was going withmy original comment, and so I'm going
(03:21):
to breathe right past it as ifI didn't even say it, because I
can't even remember it. As wedo as what we do. So,
contrary to popular belief, Christmas isnot the day you think it is.
So we celebrate Christmas as this commercialclusterfuck every single year, maybe not this
year. A lot of us aretightening those pants strings or wallet clenches or
(03:47):
whatever you do with your money.We're holding onto it because things are so
expensive, and honestly, we're fuckingdrowning most of us. Yep, very
thankfully. Gas is going down alittle bit, but the food's not.
Fucking God, gases going down alittle bit, Please Jesus, we can't
(04:10):
do this, um, normally it'sthis huge, like flamboyant clusterfuck of commercialism
and um for a specific religion,religious fanaticism. Um. But that's actually
not where it started. It didnot start on the birthday of the Christian
cult leader. His name was JesusChrist. Um. It started well,
(04:32):
well, well before then, manya century. Okay, so um.
Also really fun fact, Christmas wasdetermined to be on December twenty fifth in
the United States in eighteen seventy,so while we were still getting people out
of slavery, after it was officiallydecided that slavery was over, we're just
(04:54):
like, let's star Christmas in there. So I don't know. That was
a fun fact that the History Channeltold me, and I ran with it
and then you're like, but why, Like, no, I can't.
I will never ask why they didanything that they did, Probably because it's
far enough away from the winter solsticewhere they could play it off, or
the people were like, one daywe're gonna have to work, so we're
(05:18):
gonna do this exactly one week beforeNew Year, so we can take ten
days off, two weeks, tendays off of work, and only take
off three eggs. Centuries Christians traumaOh, oh, yes, it's generational
centuries prior to Jesus. I wroteJesus people event so years like centuries and
(05:46):
centuries prior to Jesus's birth. Wow, this sentence doesn't make sense. Whatever
was happening, we were already celebrating. So I have page one of my
notes and then I have page onepoint five because I wrote some more stuff
on a different page. Um.So if we go back to the times
of like the Romans or Romans werebig into paganism. Oh, the Romans
(06:10):
were big into paganism. They werealways big into like mythology and the gods
that they believed in. They obviouslydidn't call it mythology. They literally just
called it like religion or whatever Imean is a mythology. Christianity is mythology,
Islamism mythology, Buddhism is a mythology. They're all mythology, all mythology.
And that's no shade, that's noshade, no tea. That's just
(06:33):
what it is. That's just reality. Yeah, and you know, if
you believe in your mythology, youknow what we're happy for you exactly that
you don't be a dick about it. Don't be proselytizing over here. But
the Romans um the real ones,not the current ones that I don't even
know if they're called Romans. Theyprobably are, but that sounds super But
(06:53):
yeah, the old school romans,not what you think of What do you
think of, yeah, Spartacus,Yeah, what you think of Romans in
Togas, that's what we're talking about. And what are those things that they're
riding chariots and ship That is wherewe first hear the rumblings of some type
of winter holidays. So what theycelebrated, They celebrated a variety of holidays
(07:16):
during what would be considered the Decembertimes. A number of places this gave
specific dates, but I'm not surewhich calendar or they were using. I
don't know if that was like preGregorian calendar, which very likely was,
And so what we think of asDecember may have been like nothing to them.
It may have just been a coupleof days for them. Yeah,
(07:38):
it really wasn't a calendar as muchas it was the moon cycles and the
cycles noon or calendar. Yeah,the lunar calendar. It was the they
went around what was the shortest daythey went around the solstices exactly. Did
you know that in the year twentythirty five there will not be a hanaka
(07:59):
because how they use a different typeof calendar. I just saw this on
TikTok today, and that year becauseof how it is, there wouldn't because
it takes place on like a certainmonth of whatever. But in that year
they won't have it. No,it's twenty three oh five or twenty three
oh five or something like that.Yeah, I'll find the TikTok and I'll
(08:22):
send it to you. But thatshows. When I found that, I
was like, huh, okay,that's fucked up. Damn. That just
threw me off. But so theywent around the lunar calendar. Yeah,
round a lunar calendar. Winter holidays, specifically winter solstice. If anybody doesn't
know what the solstice is, it'sthe longest for the shortest day within a
(08:43):
year or so. Summer soltis.So the summer solstice is the longest day,
which we generally are looking at likea June twenty second through June twenty
six something like that, and thenwinter solstice is the shortest day, I
mean meeting time with daylight, andwe're looking at it like a December twenty
first through December twenty third ish,and that is the shortest day or shortest
(09:11):
period of daylight in that year.And that is where the Romans and the
ancient folk I was calling them tribesin my imagination, but where they were
celebrating. And the reason that theywere celebrating is because they have gone through
the hardest parts of the winter.Because remember they didn't have global warming quite
(09:31):
like we have it, and sotheir winners were hardcore, and so they
were going through those longest days ofwinter. They got through the most grueling
parts. And now we have reachedthe day of the year. We've all
built up to this, the dayof the year that has the shortest amount
of daylight, and it's all upfrom here. We are going it's more
daylight and it's basically it's so thewinter solstice. From what I read was
(09:58):
it's sexy. It is bait.It was sexy, but they were celebrating
that they didn't have to tend tothe crops anymore at that point they were
getting fucked up. It was aparty because they could fucking relax well.
And it was also a party becauseof the fact that they were at the
point where they're just like, listen, it's time that slaughter all our cattle
because of the fact that we don'twant to keep beating them through the winter.
(10:20):
So we're going to have all thisfresh meat. And so now they've
got the freshest meat that they're goingto have all year. They're there wasn't
like twenty billion people on the worldor however many people we had, now
it was a lot less people.So you could slaughter your cows and then
then have enough food for everybody inyour village. And that is often what
(10:43):
I do, um personally, slaughtermy cows and exactly exactly those fucking hafters.
But the first of the celebrations thatthey had was Saturnalia. Um,
she's from the Roman side of things. Was this what this was about a
two week festival where they celebrated thatgod's saturn not to be confused with the
(11:05):
car the saturn Ion, which shouldnot be celebrated. This is the god
of agriculture. So, like Windsorsaid, we're going into a period of
time where we're gonna have like plops, crops and planting going on. We
want to celebrate this god. Um, we want to feast, eat,
(11:26):
be married probably fuck because it wasthe Romans and that's where they were fucking
and they were getting fucked up,a burning it the fuck up and out,
absolutely, and they exchanged gifts predominantlywith children and the poor, two
tenants that we usually see around Christmastime. People want to finally help the
(11:46):
poor after three hundred and thirty fivedays of not getting a fuck about them.
So there was also a so giftgiving was also for it was like
a good luck gift. It waslike wishing it was a blessing for plentiful
crops and things like that. Inthe New Year, um, yeah,
(12:09):
the Romans really started spending too muchand getting a little capitalistic about it.
But at the roots of it itwas, yeah, I mean we can
relate. Come on. The rootof it was a little knick knack or
a little this and that as ablessing for each other. And like they
(12:30):
would even like how we light candles, they would like light a long strip
of whatever the fuck it was,and they would give that as a gift.
So as like a blessing and offeringfor you know, a plentiful New
Year. I'm gonna give Jay Lenalit piece of papaper he's gonna be like,
what is that one not light onfire? I would never not be
(13:00):
over that. I'll never be overthat, like because it doesn't make sense.
We're gonna paper does the irs?Use it's fucked up. It was
sucked up. But they would givethese gifts um. They would also take
greenery and shrubbery from around um theirhomes or I don't know what the Romans
lived in, if they lived inshacks or stuff. I'm not a history
person, but they would decorate theirhouses with it. They would decorate their
(13:24):
houses um with the greenery, thelights. They would give things to people.
Some would even temporarily free their slavesso that they could engage in festivities.
But when Monday came back around,just like we do now, telling
to go back to work, notyou know, comparing us to slaves.
(13:45):
But you know, I said whatI said. So they celebrated on exact
Christmas Day, the birth of Mithra. I was calling her Mirtha, which
sounds like birth Mithra, which isthe sun god. Because obviously, like
we just discussed, when you're solstice, our days were getting longer. We've
(14:07):
got more sunlight, very exciting duringthe darkest times of the year, many
ancient cultures slash groups would light Ohthis is another thing. So we've got
this Roman stuff going on. It'sa good time. We're also spreading this
concept across the continent of Europe,which I forgot Romans were a part of
(14:31):
because I don't know geography or Englishmost of the time. But we were
spreading this across time and space.You know, we're sharing it with other
groups. And so during the darkesttimes of the year, many ancient culture
slash groups would light fires that wouldhelp to keep the darkness away during that
solstice time, so like right beforewe're getting into the actual more daylight time,
(14:56):
and that continues some places to thisday, but specifically with the North,
they actually turned that into the Yuletradition. So we all talk about
like Yule time and fun, butdo we actually know what Yule is?
No? I didn't. What's up. Romans don't exist anymore. Romans don't
(15:18):
exist anymore. They're just Italians.That makes sense. Oh shit, let's
go, let's keep going. Ihad a thought, and I'm like,
let me look exactly because it doesn'treally make sense, but it makes you
wonder. That's right, they're Italians. God damn it. Whatever Italians couldn't
(15:39):
even be Italy. Yeah, sodumb. I mean you were the one
that thought to look it up.So one of us is at least smart
enough to go on her phone andfigure it out. You you'll want to
know more about it, and giveme some joy, give me some joy.
(16:03):
Joyful, joyful. Lord, weadore thee. It worked out,
It worked out. It was sopositive. Um, the North celebrated Yule
from late December to January. Idon't know what calendar gonna use, and
I don't care. This is nota historically accurate history podcast. This is
(16:25):
US, and you guys know thatwe do bare minimum. We're giving you
the pagan rituals that a Christianity stolefor idiots, exactly, for dummies.
But they would celebrate in late Decemberto January. And this is when again
the sun starts to come out more. There's more of that sunshine, so
we gotta fucking celebrate. So whatwould happen is the sons and their fathers
(16:49):
because apparently there were no father lesssons at this time, would go and
get lost because they didn't go,they didn't have milk at a store.
Oh. They also didn't have cigarettesent a side home, um or the
side hose were just expected, andthat is what it is. The side
home was also probably a little tinyboy named heath Cliff something. It's just
(17:12):
so oh my god. They wouldgo get these logs, they would bring
them home, then they would lightthem, and they would basically party in
bullshit, um until the log burnedout, which usually lasted aid to twelve
days. UM. I guess theyhad their own little miracle. Wasn't as
(17:32):
fun. It was probably like abig ass fucking log team. I'm assuming
it was like a giant tree.It was like a tree that fell over
and they like pulled it into thetown center or something exactly. These are
the North So they were big motherfuckers. They're kind of like modern day Samoans
in my mind. And so theyactually just ripped the tree out of the
ground and they just brought it tothe town on the shoulder, on their
shoulder, lit it on fire,and partied until it went out. Um.
(17:56):
They did this because they believed thatevery single spark that would come out
of this fire would bring them goodfortune for livestock, for crops, for
things that they needed to survive andto live and so they would have this
party, it would do this burning, and then if the next year was
successful, they'd be like, ohit worked last year, we got to
do it again. And so thatis how the Yule came to be.
(18:18):
Obviously, it has been watered downto the point where we don't realize.
Yeah, the stories are just it'sjust kind of like the Christmas tree,
which I'll talk about. It's kindof like their stories of a little this
and that, but no one canreally say that that truly happened exactly.
(18:41):
But it makes that little cameras theydidn't have cameras. They didn't have cameras.
And now I kind of want toget a little log cake and maybe
build a little fun I kind ofwant to celebrate the winter solstice. Let's
get a bonfire and start selling,getting fucked up and dancing around the fire
and praising some guys. We've onlygot three days, so we let her
(19:03):
do this quickly. I'm gonna haveto make this money first, because your
bitches broke um this book. Butthat was another way that people celebrated.
Obviously, it's been passed down.Um, So now we talk about Yule
Time without actually thinking about it.It. Maybe they all have the audacity
to put yule Tide in Christmas songsexactly, And then they say, keep
(19:26):
the Christ in Christmas? What doyou want from us? We're confused.
You you want to take the Christ. You want to keep the Christ and
Christmas? But have Santa Claus.I have a Christmas tree, but have
an advert calendar, but on aday that Jesus wasn't born, Like that
Christianity dot com article that I sentyou, literally though, that was the
(19:51):
first little snippet, and then twoparagraphs later it directly contradicted itself. I
love a good contradiction. Yeah,contradiction, a conundrum wrapped in an enigma.
And I was listening to AI storytellingum and they did SpongeBob, like
(20:12):
a SpongeBob episode, and they calledSquidward an octopus. Hey, Brian wrapped
in depression. He is an octopusdepression. That's how I feel as a
person. Could you imagine Brian orCharles just hearing one side of our conversations
and they're just like the fuck exactly. Charles was in the next room anyways.
(20:37):
So that those are some of thetraditions of like historical pagan Christmas um,
some elements of non traditional Christian Christmas, not commercial Christmas. Regardless of
how you feel, they still seemto interject themselves into the things that we're
doing. Windsward, I've just decidedwe're celebrating you all the year. Commercial
(21:02):
Christmas, always, always commercial Christmas. We talk about keeping Christ in Christmas.
But yet we have Christmas trees,we have all this stuff, and
there's nothing wrong with that. There'snothing wrong with you know, taking aspects
of a you know, traditions thatyou like and incorporating them to your own
(21:22):
as a whole. Like for example, in our families, if we like
traditions from Yule, or we liketraditions from Quanza, or we like traditions
from Hanaka or Christmas, we're welcometo incorporate them into our traditions, you
know, as long as we doit respectfully and with not like making fun
of or disrespect exactly exactly. So. But the thing is is that these
(21:51):
things are focused around the winter solsticebecause when the Christians were coming in and
colonizing these places and basically forcing thesepeople to convert to Christianity. And also
there's a lot of so there's alot of Christmas traditions that are also rooted
(22:14):
in Judaism because they took a lotof early Christians were converted Jews. And
why were they converted Jews Because theyhad no fucking choice force. So yes,
you'll see that with a lot ofthe stories of how the Christmas Tree
came to begin. So there's noset exact like different people say different things.
(22:37):
But see it was claimed that inGermany and about seven twenty three,
the English preparing a sacrifice that anoak tree dedicated to the god Thor.
This douchebag named Saint Boniface took anaxe to the tree, and when not
struck down by their god, heproclaimed to the out of Pagans that a
(23:00):
nearby evergreen was their holy tree.Other sources say that a fir grew on
the side of a fallen oak,which is like where they get like the
evergreen and whatnot. But trees havealways been used in rituals and decorations throughout
religions, throughout everything since the ancienttimes, and the Pagans especially would use
(23:26):
like particular trees as their sacrifice pointbecause like that oak tree, for example,
was dedicated to the god Thor.So they'll have these specific trees that
are dedicated to the different gods,and they would put their sacrifices, whatever
they may be. I didn't gothat deep into it for that god at
(23:48):
that specific tree. So whether thattale is true or not, the evergreen
trees became part of Christian rites.In Germany and in the Middle Ages,
Paradise trees began to appear there andthey were meant to represent the garden of
Eden. These evergreen chees were hungwith apples and displayed in homes on December
(24:11):
twenty fourth, the religious feast dayof Adam and Eve. Other decorations were
added. Martin Luther reported reportedly firsthung lighted candles on a tree in the
sixteenth century. That sounds like afire witty to happen, Yes, and
it has happened. I definitely watchedan episode of Rescue nine one one when
(24:32):
I was little where somebody put Christmaslike fucking lit candles on their real Christmas
tree. Yes, that is actuallyan issue. Back in the fifteenth century,
there are reports which I think that'sthe fourteen right. Yeah, So
in the fifteenth century there are actuallyreports of people taking furs out of the
(24:55):
forest putting them in their homes.They didn't have any decorations on them,
but they were meant to be there, so you know, yeah there.
But basically the root of it isthey were ever green, so you didn't
They weren't dead in the winter whenit was cold, which was the thing,
(25:18):
like you can cut it. Andhonestly, I think subconsciously they didn't
understand why they stayed green even afterthey died, so like after you cut
it, if you cut it,I mean most of these people literally just
left him in the ground. Theyprobably thought it was magic or witchcraft or
something. Oh. Absolutely, sothat Christmas trees do have that ancient,
(25:44):
ancient even maybe before paganism roots tothem because of the fact that they are
ritualistic sacrifice points for many a deadand alive religion. Right. So,
but Christians being Christians, were like, I like this, you can't have
(26:07):
it, my God have it,right, I give it to my God.
And Christmas trees, I mean,as much like debate as the origin
of them goes, they really werepopularized quote unquote in Germany. Oh absolutely,
everything that I found also confirmed thatthey were popularized and decorated the way
(26:29):
that we do them now in Germany. At the time that you said,
even back in the Roman days,they were essential part in some way.
They weren't called Christmas trees obviously,and they may not have been first Paradise
tree Paradise tree, but they werepart of these festivals that they would have.
They were there to, you know, do whatever they were doing with
(26:52):
them. But I could also seelike the bobbles on them and stuff being
sacrifices to a deity. Oh absolutely, that I think really is where like
the decorations and stuff started to kindof come in because they were leftist sacrifices.
A sacrifice doesn't have to be somethingthat was alive and is now not.
(27:15):
You can also put things that areinanimate as a sacrifice because what comes
with sacrifice is the intention of it. Because regardless of whatever religion you are,
it's all based in the same thingof the energy you put into the
universe. So in a paganism,paganism is not witchcraft. Paganism and witchcraft
(27:44):
are two different things. You canbe a pagan and also a witch but
they're not interchangeable, and they're notone doesn't necessarily mean the other. But
here's the thing. Christians say thatthey're putting that good Christian energy into the
universe, not all Christians, butit's based in the same thing. You're
what is the energy you're putting intothe universe. And really that's what the
(28:06):
roots of paganism is really in,is in nature and in the gods and
in giving back. Paganism is aboutpositivity and putting good energy into the universe.
It's not like Christians are really whatmade Pagans have like this bad rap
oh of course, because guess whatwas the most popular populist religion. Paganism?
(28:37):
Man, we know that it's apart of so many other things,
so many other holidays and things likethat that we celebrate. We've talked about
quite a few holidays on here.I know we've had conversations about the roots
in Halloween across a variety of differentcultures. There's probably roots in Easter.
Maybe we'll deal with that and whatevermonth easters then, I know East or
(29:00):
resurrection. If your resurrection lasts formore than four hours, is you go
to see a doctor. If yourresurrection lasts for more than four hours,
you probably goes through the Department ofJustice, facts, facts, because we
need to have an investigation going on. But it's got roots and so much
of that we do, and sowe just wanted to give you guys that
(29:22):
insight. So advent calendars actually havea route in Paganism and I'm sure other
cultures as well, but it reallywas one of those things. And this
predated the entirety of Christianity, likein its entirety. So basically it wasn't
(29:45):
like for twenty five days you gota little something. It was basically little
celebrations that happened or little mementos thatthe end was coming. You know,
the winter solstice is coming, yourbrain is coming. It was just basically
a way to keep morale up.So you know, now it's a fun
(30:07):
way to get excited, like oh, I only have two more chocolates until
Christmas or whatever, But then itwas really like I only have two more
chocolates or whatever it was until Ican fucking take a break, get drunk
and get fucked. Yeah, becauselisten, both parties dead Ass Beyonce.
They were playing Beyonce's Cuffett and theywere getting drunk on Christmas and you know
(30:33):
they were by the fires doing theD D D D D bet you you
will see God, I'm getting drunkdrunk on you. I'm having hell oft
the time. Did that Brownie?No, I just thought that was funny.
(30:56):
I loved that. But yeah,so get out. So that's really
what the Advent calendar was about.It was really a way of not fucking
throwing yourself off a bridge. AndI honestly, now that you're saying this,
I feel like we should all getsome Advent calendars. I opened them
(31:18):
throughout the year, right, getan Advent calendar that's three hundred and sixty
four days and took Halloween. Ohmy gosh, I love it. I
also think it's very important to notethat in this when I was writing my
notes, the little bit of notesI did, right, I now,
(31:38):
mind you, I can't even sayit was autocorrect. It was one percent
me. I put Advent calendar mightkill step does not make sense Sometimes it'd
be like that. I feel likethat. But yeah, Santa gift giving
Advent calendars. The christis Christmas caroling. You want to know why Christmas caroling
(32:05):
was rooted in paganism because you wouldsing to the gods and what happened around
those solstices and the sat Saturn Saturnand Miss Saturn saturnalias celebrations as they would
be struggle, as they would besinging and dancing and getting jolly and marry
(32:30):
and you know what they were listen. I was reading this shit. I
was like, why don't we dothis anymore? This looks fun as fuck?
Christmas party not the same? Ibet you they were dancing naked around
those fires. Yeah, but theywere also fucking goats. So true,
(32:52):
that's very true. But those partieswere probably fucking lit. I also believe
that they likely smoked great weed.They smoked things that probably don't exist anymore.
I know they'll probably open your thirdeye. My third eye is about
to get open soon. I'm goingto have to manually open the mind shortly.
(33:17):
That is it, guys. It. We will see you in twenty
twenty three, what the fuck.Hopefully it'll be a much better time,
because, you know what, becausewe gotta change some shit about our lives.
Like you know what, I say, we just while you're at work
and anytime it goes over your fortyhours, I say, you write in
(33:38):
a notebook, and what you writeis you write shit for a book.
Let's write some books and sell them, motherfucker's. Let's and then we can
sell a book, right, thisis high hopes, and then we can
do it like we can sell likea three things, like oh, we
gotta we gotta quit work because wegotta write these next books. We're contract
(33:59):
to write the books. We don'thave any time to work. Meanwhile,
it'd be like deadlines in two weeksor like did you write anything? No,
we should probably go to the library. Huh do you have any adderall
so bad? So to morrow thosestory kids, we're gonna need adderall in
twenty twenty three. M well,need health in twenty twenty three and adderall
(34:22):
in twenty twenty three. Am youknow what? I think? I'm gonna
pull up our our New Year's wishesto you and yours and or you know
what we need to do one fortwenty twenty three. We have to Brian
just texting me. He smoked toomuch, so he's out for the count
(34:43):
situlations. You know that that trendx that X trend, yes, and
the what are we leaving behind intwenty twenty two trend? So my ick,
and what we're leaving behind in twentytwenty two is the fucking bullshit.
Ellie, I'm done. I'm tiredof the gender based hate crime. That
is life. Yeah, like I'mtired, Like I'm tired of being broke,
(35:12):
Like, oh I I'm we makeover one hundred thousand fucking dollars a
year. Ye where you know,most of a goal shoot foot. I'm
leaving that back behind in twenty twentytwo. My ich is also COVID.
We're leaving that behind in twenty twentytwo. Yes, please. What we're
(35:37):
also leaving behind is if you're sick, wear a mask, if you can't
stay home, because we understand thatthat's not always possible. We know that
stay home, Please stay home.And if you cannot wear a mask,
because guess what, masks are thenew norm now. If you're sick,
(35:59):
you have access to them, andyou have the knowledge and the education to
be like, you know what,i don't want to get other people sick,
so I'm gonna wear this mask.I don't want to share my germs.
And you know why we're seeing whatwe're seeing right now is because people
fucking refuse to wear their masks,and everybody has to be no compromise because
they all got COVID because people didn'trefuse to wear their masks. I'm also
(36:22):
leaving behind in twenty twenty two.Um, the the stigma around shitting in
public, Oh please, I've neverhad that stigma. No, but in
general, like I listen, wehave digestive is shoes. Okay. I
was minding my business in the bathroomand somebody had the audacity to come in
(36:45):
and be like, oh, so, I'm like, mind you fucking business,
And I should even harder, becauseyou know what, you save harder,
because you know, usually I'll betrying to like just sit like okay,
just wait for them to go.But no, sorry, I let
that shit go. You know this, This little baby tried to roast me
(37:07):
one time, but I wasn't madbecause they were a baby, and babies
be saying shit. It's like littletwo year old cous mommy, it's so
stinky. You're right when I tellyou, I had to pull up my
I had to wipe, pull upmy pants and wash my hands before I
saw that baby babars, I hada lot to me, right, it's
stinky. Do you have any Ithat you're leaving in twenty twenty two?
(37:30):
Debt illness and all of them stayingon this. Oh, we're also leaving
behind Elon musk. So did yousee that you're not allowed to cross post,
like you can't promote other apps onTwitter because they can't put like follow
(37:52):
me on Insta. It'll be ababy. I didn't know bad. He's
a baby. He can't deal withit. He's a baby. Yes,
most specifically behind, I'm not mwe're not doing this smooth sailing from here.
(38:25):
Yes, this smooth sailing. Weare leaving behind the bullshit. Listen,
We're getting closer to our forties.I'm ready to enter my comfortable cardigan
and pull up pants phase of mylife. Oh I'm already there. Like
I'm ready to full on embrace thecrisp, un ironic Christmas best phase of
(38:49):
my life. And guess what,bitch, I'm not sorry about it because
that's who we're going to best.But yes, so I love it.
As always for the past two overtwo years, Remember to drink your water,
(39:10):
remember that you're that bitch, won'tforever be that bitch, And have
a happy, healthy and safe andprosperous holiday season in New Year. You
know we're giving you the vibe.We're putting the vibe. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, huh. I don't knowwhat she's doing I am putting it
(39:34):
out there to the universe that ifwe fuck with you, you, the
Earth, the universe in a goodway. Yeah. So good night,
have a happy whatever you celebrate.Yep, if you celebrate all, you
know what, let's get fucked up, let's get backed up. Just be
(39:59):
the best you can be in twentytwenty three. I love it. I
love it. Good Night, goodnight,
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