February 14, 2023 • 46 mins
It's episode 114 of Thanks, I Hate It! and Brittany and Windsor are back talking about geneatology genetic testing, primarily 23 & Me. We discuss our person results, share stories and funny antecdotes. And we also decide that we aren't just play cousins. We're cousins cousins.
Sit back, relax, and pull up your genealogy chart - we know you did one.
Sit back, relax, and pull up your genealogy chart - we know you did one.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What we could talk about this whenwe're actually recording. Listen, we were
so excited we are recording. That'sthe gig. Okay, Hi, it's
Brittany and Windsor and you are listeningto Thanks I Hated a week bi weekly
social commentary podcast where two friends shootthe shit about social issues thorochheaded on suspecting
targets and talk about twenty three inme. Yes, blind Blaine, quickly,
(00:27):
this is not a sponsored podcast.Fuck no, because we don't sponsor
anybody but ourselves. God damn right, goddamn right. So today, we,
like you heard in our intro,are discussing twenty three and me.
So we're gonna go very very briefly. We're gonna do an overview of twenty
(00:47):
three in me very briefly. Idon't want to give them too much airtime
because then it sounds like a sponsorship. We're gonna talk about, you know,
how law enforcements used it, howwe've used it, and where this
information can go next. So I'mgonna jump right in. I'm gonna start
us off, which you guys,if you don't remember this fact, it's
(01:10):
not always sometimes I shut the fuckup in the beginning but not today.
So twenty three and Me is abiotech company out of California which go fucking
figure, and they basically do DNAtesting as their core crooks of their business,
and then they also have recently startedto do like trait testing. So
(01:32):
basically spitting it two, you sendit's twenty three and Me, and they
send you digital results about yourself,your lineage, your likelihood of liking cilantro,
anything of that. I am lesslikely to like Cilantro, which is
bullshit because I fucking love Cilantro.So you guys are fucking wrong, or
I'm making myself like it to combatthe fact that I think it's more.
(01:55):
It's not that you like you likeit or you don't like it. It's
either it tastes like so or itdoesn't. And I mind it not takes
like soap, like you can stillnot god like it, but it not
tastes like soap. It doesn't tastelike soap, Thank fucking God. So
um here s vibe is actually superbeneficial for those of us that are part
of the African guy asper that cameout of the slave trade, also for
(02:19):
indigenous folks whose lives were also spreadacross the world. UM, maybe some
Jewish folks who had to kind ofspread out after, you know, those
that were not caught by fucking Hitlerspread out into different areas they do you
have ashke Nazi jew as a U. I'm so your point one percent.
(02:40):
That's how I know that that it'sactually on your dnaport. And I will
say based on my own experience,UM twenty three and me is as they
get more data, they are gettingmore and more in depth UM, which
I'll talk about very very briefly whenwe go over my own experience, UM.
But it gives a lot of informationabout ethnic groups, things along that
(03:02):
line. So if you were somebody, especially somebody born in the United States
who is not a first generation,second generation, third generation American, the
likelihood that you are categorized based onyour race is very high. If you
are Hispanic or Spanish or Latino thelike, you also have that additional ethnicity
(03:28):
portion, So you may be classifiedbased on your ethnicity, but very very
likely you're classified as white, black, brown. If you've got very strong
Native features, you may get thatclassification as Native or First Nations, something
along these different lines. So we'regoing to talk a little bit about it.
(03:49):
Twenty three in ME is believed bysome to be just straight up junk
science. Regardless, States and theFED got involved because they saw that people
were you to lizing this service andthey're just like, well, wait a
minute, it's gonna need some regulation, and that regulation and talks of regulation
have gone back as far as twothousand and eight, and with twenty three
(04:11):
and ME, they're very recently startedto get approvals by the FDA to do
some of those genetic testings that letus know if we think that cilantro tastes
like soap, and or if ourhair is likely to be thick follicled or
thin follicled. Mindset, mine isvery likely to be thin follicled, was
it, which is actually true becausethe follicles of my actual hair are very
(04:35):
thin. They're like little, invisible, almost pieces of wire. I just
have a lot of those very thinfollicled hairs. So they were not wrong.
They were absolutely right, as winterwill likely touch on in her portion.
If not, I mean, wecan we can suck around with it.
(04:57):
It's not a big deal. Thereare a lot of privacy can instead
have come around out with using twentythree in me. I know that she's
gonna touch on the law enforcement aspect, but essentially, you are giving your
DNA to someone and they are puttingit in databases that are ultimately, in
some way, shape or form possiblybeing used by law enforcement. Again Windsor,
we'll get into that. But alsothey're getting information about you that is
(05:23):
not regulated by the Health Information andPortability Health Information and Portability account portability.
Yet there we go of nineteen ninetysix. Bitch, I literally just wrote
hippus. So the fact that Igot as far as I did in that
magic actually know what it is literallyone of the very few things I know.
(05:43):
Nineteen ninety six was kind of awild year for laws. We'll have
to talk about that one day,but twenty three and me does have to
adhere to state law as far asprivacy goes, as far as sharing your
information goes. Unfortunately, some ofus live in fucked ass states, so
you know, they probably know everythingabout me at this point, and that's
fine. I literally just applied fora job at the FAA, so somebody
(06:05):
knows everything about me. Whatever,whatever, dope. Um. So,
since I was a very very verylittle person, a lot of people loved
to tell me that they thought mymother was some type of South American or
that she was like had to Nativein her. Her family loved to claim
that Cherokee princess love live laugh,loved it. And because my mother she's
(06:30):
a dark ass white girl, likeshe's got very dark features, she's always
had very dark hair. So thiswas just the narrative that they ran with.
And so I started a free trialancestry dot com because I was like,
I'm going to find out where thefuck these people are, you know,
came from. And in that trial, I got brought up this advertisement
I got advertised to basically for twentythree and me and I said, shit,
(06:53):
I'm just gonna go straight to thegoddamn source. Let me tell you
there is no genius, not anounce in my mother's family, and telling
her family that just chef's fucking kissing. So the funny thing is is that
I, according to this there issome there's about ten percent Native, which
(07:18):
is significant. Yea. So exactly, there's there's about ten percent of First
Nation's DNA in my body. We'renot going to go into how that could
have gotten there because I am white. So I'm sure that we all know
how that probably ended up happening,goddamn right. But it's so funny because
(07:43):
it's from my father's side. Iknow that because my mother doesn't have it,
and and so then you have mymother's side and they're like, I
was like just being I was beingstalkers, and I was like going through
their facebooks and stuff, and it'slike like Native American pride in this and
(08:05):
that. I'm like, I'm literallylooking at Chile's DNA and you don't have
any exactly exactly, And so that'svery interesting that you said, um,
the fact that you have any,and we know how that got in there.
So I am fifty point three percentEuropean and I am not forty nine
(08:31):
point seven percent Sub Saharan African.So there was some white in there,
and there was some white people doingsome shit. We know how that got
there at some point, because thenumbers that I have do not equal one
hundred percent Brittany. That's beautiful,But with that being said, fifty point
three percent European, over thirty sixpercent of that is French and German,
(08:56):
which is why I'm such an asshole. Where my mother likely got those dark
features. We are cousins. I'malso two point three percent British and Irish,
so I'm also kind of Mary's fifteenthcousin at this point, you're welcome.
Um. Also point two percent umbroadly northwestern European. Five broadly northwestern
(09:20):
European. We need to go toDenmark and get our fucking system. We
could be Iceland as Icelandic. Yeah, we could be fucking from Finland.
Well that's Scandinavian. I don't know. Oh wait, no, I could
be you. We could be Ukrainian. I don't think I would bear very
(09:43):
well as a Ukrainian UM based onstories. Yeah, Like we could be
Albanian. Let's be Albanian. Well, how about Serbian? I heard the
Serbs will fuck you up? Romanian? Romanian, let's be Romanian. I
think we're going to do that.We're gonna be a Romanian American of us?
(10:05):
How American of us to colonize somebodyelse's culture, what the fuck?
Um? And then I've got elevenpoint six percent that is Spanish and Portuguese,
so very much colonizing, very colonizing. And the interesting thing about the
Portuguese and the Spanish specifically is thatthey blend into my sub Saharan African because
(10:30):
the trans Atlantic say trade, theTransatlantic slave trade. How do you think
Puerto Rican thing Cubans were made?And also what are the Philippines? Were
they just colonization or was that fromthe slave trade as well? That's colonization.
Okay, yeah, that's colonization.But um, thirty eight point one
(10:52):
percent of my forty eight point threepercent is West African, Um gone and
Liberian and Sara Leone and Sarah iswhere actually where I don't know if you
remember this text that I sent awhile back, but twenty three and me
was actually able to give me ethnicgroups from Sierra Leone. So Timpany and
(11:13):
Limbaugh are two ethnic groups within SierraLeone that I have, like my DNA
was associated with. And that's areally big idea. Just fucking smacked my
microphone, I know. But that'sa really really big deal because these are
coastal folks in a coastal country thatwas part of this Transatlantic slave trade,
(11:35):
probably one of the most affected areasof it. Absolutely, and this is
important because despite inhabiting the continent ofAfrica as indigenous folks for over two thousand
years, we don't get a lotof this history, but if I look
at my own personal history, thereare a lot of aspects that blend into
(11:56):
the Sierra Leone portion of life,which is so wild and crazy, and
the area is super tropical, whichis probably how I can deal with heat,
but fucking hate the heat. Andit was overrun by the Portuguese and
the fourteen hundreds. So Freetown,which was eventually established as a major hub
(12:20):
for the slave tread, ultimately becamelike a literal Freetown where free Africans would
settle. They would return back tosigare Leone and they would like fucking demand
their freedom. They'd be like,no, bitch, We're not going to
do this. And so the factthat this part of a country that literally
is an island that sits the bitchbasically faces the United States, it became
(12:46):
a huge hub for taking slaves across. And the reason that finding those ethnic
groups is so important is because foranybody who didn't know Africa is the most
ethnically diverse location on the planet,reminded everybody that is a continent. It
is not a country, a verybig continent, very big continent with a
(13:11):
lot of different ethnic groups that havedifferent languages and customs, and so when
we all originated there, every lastone of us and did. But when
people are just like, oh,Africans, well, you cannot break this
down. There are literally thousands ofethnic groups in Africa. There's no other
place on the planet that is ethnicallydiverse as Africa. So when you're thinking
(13:35):
about very specific ethnic groups from SierraLeone and where they ended up, you
do end up with a brittany becausemany Sierra Leon slaves that came to the
Americas were dropped in the space betweenum I forget what the name of the
places, and I obviously didn't writeit North Carolina coastal through Georgia ending at
(13:56):
Jacksonville, Florida, which is veryvery specific, but that's where a lot
of the Sierra Leonian slaves, becauseit was pretty it was the easiest route,
came right fucking across. And soit's very much the gull of people
that you hear about today. Andthis is very binya binya, but this
is very specific because that is verymuch the culture that I was raised in.
(14:18):
So and there's a lot of thingsthat I do that I never knew
were part of this culture. Whichultimately came from this culture hundreds of years
ago, and your ancestors have beenable to pass those things down through I
mean yeah through I was through wildadversity, but still that it's actually even
(14:39):
more impressive with everything, but therewere still those little things that literally so
many things that I do today asI've been slowly getting more trying to learn
more about, like the cultural relevanceof who I am as a person,
because sometimes as Americans, we andthis is just based on my own observation,
(15:01):
we will do things that are veryblack and white literally and figuratively,
so we are engaging in cultural aspects. Like if your memial makes a mayonnaise
salad, that's a cultural thing likelyfor her, even if that culture is
(15:22):
Appalachian, poor white, Um,but it is its own fucking culture.
Get out of town. It's amazing, Like, uh, I want to
learn more about it, but I'mafraid to visit um because of the racism
that I'm because they and they literallydon't know anything else, a lot of
them exactly, Like it's very mucha learned event, but there are pieces
(15:46):
of it, Like there's a dancecalled the ringshell that if you look at
some Black Baptist churches in this area. There are variations on the fact that
I literally eat rice with every meal. That is an old Gala instance,
like you are fucking eating rice.Center is not complete if you do not
have rice with it, or haints, which we talked about in our Alabama
(16:10):
episode using the color indigo. Theseare all things that came I mean,
yeah, it's an amalgamation of abunch of different things because you had a
bunch of different people that spoke abunch of different languages being forced to do
a bunch of different things. Butit's things like that that twenty three in
me has opened up my worldview twoand so I personally find it to be
interesting, even if the girlies findit to be wild. I will say,
(16:38):
one of the wildest little pieces onmy twenty three name report that I'm
gonna tell you about before I turnit over to you is I am point
five percent Western Asian and North African, so like that Pakistani Middle Eastern type
shit, which is probably why Ididn't let any some long spices. So
(17:03):
I actually, so this is actuallyreally good to bring up because my I've
had ancestry for about three years andI've had twenty three AM for two years,
and in that time my results havechanged as their data pool grows.
So I went from having a vaguelyAsian like, um like East Asian,
(17:26):
things like that, South Asian,and those are now gone and they are
actually those percentages made my indigenous Americanhire uh huh okay, so, which
was just amazing to me. Somine I am eighty nine point nine percent
European. Yeah, bitch, white, she white, she whites, I
(17:51):
mean that is what it is.So I name is Windsor girl. Yeah,
I mean, thanks, mama,m hm. So I am exactly
a quarter British and Irish, mostlyfrom the United Kingdom. Let me see,
I'm trying to zoom into whatever fuckingcountry this is because it's like really
(18:15):
dark blue, but I don't know, so mostly from the United Kingdom because
I didn't prepare for this. Soyeah, listen, this is life,
and you guys expect preparation, andyou clearly you don't know anything about our
podcast. And one of them,the main one, is actually Greater London.
Okay, fancy bitch. We gottago visit your land sometime. So
(18:37):
this is where we're cousins. Iam twenty three point five percent French and
German. But this is really Germanmore than it is French. I think
those two are like because it literallysays that I'm from Baden Wurtemburg, Germany.
See that's insanely wonderful. That's thebreakdown that I don't have for my
whiteness. I gotta my blackness,not for my whiteness. Here's even more
(19:00):
of my whiteness. I am twentytwo point seven percent Scandinavian, specifically mainly
from mere Agromsto, Norway and VastraGotland County, Sweden. So so white,
so white. Then I have thebroadly northwestern European of eighteen point five
(19:23):
percent. Where are we discovered thatwe just decided we're going to be Romanian,
Yeah, because it sounded cool.Point two percent ask Naji Jewish and
nine point nine percent Indigenous American ofthe Great Lakes in Canada, which makes
sense because I am a Midwestern bitch. Oh that's right, that's right,
(19:45):
she is. She do be fromthe Midwest. But the thing is it
may not. Maybe it's not frommy it might not be from my father's
side, because they're all southern,like Arkansas and shit. But because just
because my mother doesn't have it doesn'tmean that her relatives didn't have it,
(20:07):
Like because the DNA is weird likethat, the DNA is fucking weird.
And I think I'm gonna make mymother do one what I'll fix it later.
The TV is not working. Itprobably got unplugged, you know that.
The fact that you just said thatpeople they're probably losing their fucking minds
(20:29):
right now. No, it's justmy TV, my bedroom TV. Oh.
I was like, you know thatthey cannot deal with that shit.
And there's also a one percent traceancestry for broadly sub Saharan African. We're
also cousins, We're family at thispoint, like family, family, we
have proof m h. And itsays the genetic diversity of sub sub Saharan
(20:56):
Africa represents both the deep history ofhumans in the region and the recent grations
that have carried people from Western Africato both southern and Eastern Africa. As
a result of this ancient and complexpopulation history, it is difficult to assign
some DNA to a specific population withinthat general area, which is valid.
And then there's the random zero pointone that's unassigned because I am a mutt,
(21:21):
so there's always gonna be something theycan't find. But yeah, well
that's so sad is that people usedto call me that when I was in
school. It's actually kind of transplant. So it's like if you're if you
call somebody who's black a mutt,it is racist. If you call someone
who is white American and mutt,it's just the truth. Don't let them
Mayo crusaders get you down. Ihate you so fucking much. I can
(21:48):
say those terms. I'm white.I can say that it's giving a little
racist, and I love it.I'm racist against my own people, me
too. But here's a guy,though, you can't be racist against white
people. You can be prejudiced,but you can't be racist. So I
(22:10):
have two wild stories. Okay,I'm ready. I'm so ready because these
are were stories that were told directlyto me by like people I personally know,
and they didn't put their stories onthe internet for everybody to read.
Right, I am going to bevery vague. I will not use any
(22:30):
real names, just going to tellthe basic story. She's not even gonna
use pronouns. You guys, well, I might get a little confusing if
I don't but regardless. So thefirst one is a couple of years ago,
my office shared space with another officeand a girl who worked in the
other office. The girl who workedin the other office was just like,
(22:55):
I just got the craziest email,and she was just like, yeah,
I did the twenty three of me. I'm excited to see like exactly what
I like. How it is justyou know, shooting the ship like we
all did it for She gets anemail from twenty three me that they found
a close relative. So they giveyou emails when they find someone who is
(23:19):
that of a sibling or a parent. What they found a half sister,
Bitch, I've been waiting my wholelife. If God is gonna tell me
that I don't have a fucking halfsibling out here, get the fuck out
of town. And not only that, So this is important backstory. She
(23:41):
was in her mid twenties and herparents had her at a later age,
so they were already in their likeforties and like fifties when they had her
and her siblings. The sister wasin her fifties, so she EMAILSKA.
(24:06):
So she's from a previous relationship.Yeah, okay, I was really trying
to figure that out, so don'tmind you. But her parents have been
literally together for they just celebrated theirfiftieth anniversary. No, they did,
so, so she gets this emailand she's like, Hi, you know,
(24:27):
my name is so and so Ijust got the twenty three in me
because I wanted to see if Icould find family and find out where I
came from because I was adopted.So so you know, obviously it's really
weird. And she's like, youknow, just give me some time.
(24:48):
And like she's like, just giveme some time to kind of process this
and I'll get back to you later. Yeah. So she's going back and
forth and then she's like, howthe fuck do I tell my father this?
And so it's like this whole thingand she's like, I don't know
what's happening. Long story short,So she ended up did reaching out to
her the mother gave her mother gaveher her adoption at birth, So they
(25:15):
figured out who her mother was becausehe has only been with a handful of
people. It was his college girlfriend. So she either left school or she
graduated or something and never told himabout the pregnancy and just gave the baby
up for adoption. That's an episodeof law and order. Mhm. So
(25:40):
you know, obviously this is abig emotional deal for yes, for everybody
involved. But they've met a fewtimes in person. You know, they're
working on relationships and you know,but everybody's doing good now. I mean
obviously they You're as close as youcan be for someone you haven't met for
(26:03):
fifty five years or so. Yeah, I mean, I can't wait to
find my real rich father. Itwas not a cat. It was not
a cat and rich. Don't forgetthe rich part. So here's my second
story, and this one's even crazier. Oh no, So, oh,
my my friend, her brother wentno contact with his entire family, dropped
(26:32):
off the face of the earth.Damnum. He been having some depression things
like that, and just like hewas having a rough not really getting along
with certain members of the family.Not my friend, they were, but
he just you know, was justlike no more. So years go by
(26:56):
and my friend does a twenty threeof me just for frenzies. Yeah,
and she gets this weird message fromsome random of you know, family member.
It's like, you're like fourth cousinstwice reproved, will you share two
(27:18):
point six? You know? Thoseso like the person's like, hey,
I know this is really weird,but can I really need to talk to
you. So she's like, okay, like what's going on? Longer the
short of it, she's like,I put my information into this database and
(27:41):
I got a phone call from adetective who was who found a familial match
in me or a John Doe soand so like her like that member,
get off of that. You're gonnabreak it. That member her family,
(28:03):
her extended family, was like researchingthis because like, mind you, my
friend had comes from a very smallnuclear family, like not a lot of
them, and none of them haveDNA tests done. So she was the
first one. And she's like,I just saw when he popped up that
I got the notification when I wentto put you on my tree, I
(28:25):
noticed that you would have had morerelation. And she's like, maybe you
should call this detective. She callsthe detective and John was her brother.
No, no, no, that'snot what I wanted. And he died
(28:45):
very very very soon after he wentno contact. They found his skeletal remains
probably one of his favorite places tobe. As you know, horribly tragic
as this was, it brought closure. Okay, I'll go longer in a
(29:07):
box in some kind of storage orunmarked grave or what have you. I'll
give you that. So it's horriblysad, but I say, it doesn't
not make me fucking sad. Butbut there at least there's closure. There's
closure. They got closure. Sothat's going to bring me into my thing.
(29:29):
On twenty three meon law enforcement,How did this detective get that information?
Blank? Blank? Here's how theygot that information because the family member
who it matched with put their DNAinto a different database. Because there is
another database that like, like youcan upload your there's multiple databases. Actually
(29:55):
you can upload your information in andyou can put it into this database the
Olivia We're done. So you couldput your information into the database for the
sole purpose of finding familial relations.That's that's what the point of this is.
(30:18):
And for this reason, like peoplecan also upload genetic profiles of anyone.
It could be a John Doe,it could be a missing person,
it um. They generally don't doit with suspects and an active murder unless
(30:38):
it's like one of like the GoldenGate killer. Wasn't he found by hey?
That sh so he was found becausethey had his DNA on file and
put that DNA into one of thesedatabases and got a off of someone else
who uploaded their thing. So that'show they get around that because twenty three
(31:03):
in me does not give your shitto the cops. So twenty three and
me does not give your shit overto the cops unless they have a subpoena
or a valid search warrant. Thatit has to be very specific because guess
what, genealogy from these kits arenot admissible in the court of law.
(31:26):
Really, they are not. There'sno chain of evidence. So and also
the lab which is actually part ofthe requirement of having this chain of evidence,
only get your day of birth andyour sex. That is it.
So they don't even have Brittany aBrittany Buttonham at theirs. Yeah, they
(31:57):
don't have that, bitch. Nope, they have scorpio ass homis exactly.
If it doesn't say that I don'twant it. Yeah. So there,
that right there just shows that theycan't use that because there's no other identifying
information exactly, which is why it'smostly cold cases and missing persons and things
(32:22):
where they do put that into thesehopes of especially cold cases. Because also
when we're talking cold cases. There'snot a very big budget for these cases.
Yeah, and you can just uploadthat DNA profile into these pools and
(32:45):
wait for a notification to come in. So that enables you to actively work
on a case without actively working ona case. And funny thing is is
that I when I was looking atthis, this girl just did her her
DNA. These girls there were tripletsand there is too identical in one fraternal
(33:07):
and they kind of just wanted toget the DNA tests altogether to see like
how their DNA actually matches up,like if they're were the ones who are
identical, Like is their DNA identicaland things like that. Yeah, now
mind you. They were told theirentire life that they were Italian. Italian
(33:29):
heritage was big to them. I'mso scared. Guess what wasn't on their
DNA history report. No, theyweren't Cherokee princesses. No, they weren't.
They were not. And it turnedout that their DNA that a missing
person was it was either an uncleor a grandparent that had that close to
(33:52):
DNA a missing person. So seventyfive years after this four year old,
a six or four year old waskidnapped in Manhattan, they figured out that
he was alive, and well,I think they're both dead now because it
was a long time ago that hewas alive, and well that whole time,
(34:16):
and then there's a there's a bunchof family law and all that shit.
I didn't really go into it,but basically that is how did these
things work. And they found thatout too, because that that DNA from
the brother was put into these Soit's a lot. But I'm going to
(34:37):
read to you directly from their websitewhat they do. So what they will
not surrender customer data because zumer datawithout a proper subpoena good. And part
of this is also they will onlytest samples that are sent back in their
(35:00):
collection kits. They will not testsamples that were done in anything else.
So that is a consent to testwhen you send it in theirs their kit.
Okay, And the longer you talk, the longer it is going to
take me to finish. So twentythree and ME chooses to use all practical,
(35:25):
legal and administrative resources to resist requestsfrom law enforcement. And we do
not share our customal data with anypublic databases or with entities that may increase
the risk of law enforcement access Incertain circumstances. However, twenty three ME
may be required by law to complywith a valid court order, subpoena or
(35:45):
search warrant for genetic or personal information. Yeah, twenty three ME requires valid
legal process in order to consider inproducing information about our users. It will
only review increases to find in eighteenUSC. Section twenty seven O three C
two, and that has to berelated to a valid trial, grand jury,
(36:07):
or administrative subpoena, warrant or order. They must be served on twenty
three AM by personal service, justlike subpoena is in a court setting.
Twenty three ME will consider releasing additionalaccount information or transactional information pertaining to an
account only in the response to acourt order pursue it to this and addition,
(36:28):
In addition, will only consider increasefrom a government agency with proper jurisdiction.
Right, so you can't just beasking for dumb shit correct now.
Also, they will unless it isexplicitly stated in the subpoena or search warrant,
(36:50):
to not notify the suspect or thecustomer. They send an email to
the email and file stating that theygot a subpoena for their genetic information.
Good, And they they take acertain they have like I think usually thirty
days to respond respond to a subpoena, So that gives the customer time to
(37:13):
take legal action or whatever they needto do, right, so they can
get their lawyer be like, ah, we're not doing this, you don't
have any you do have any groundfor this ship bitch back off. Yeah.
So they do give you a chanceto get your shit together. And
they have never in their what ithas been like fifteen years now, they've
(37:36):
never had valid one of these subpoenasserved to them and have never given out
customer information to law enforcement. Good. I bet you it's because you have
to be able to specifically say becausewe deal with this UM. Florida wildly
has very good domestic violence laws andso if like the police don't bring you
(37:57):
a very specific warrant or whatever,you don't say anything. And so they
likely have things like that protecting them, thank god. Yes, And so
they also do go to a secondDUDA. So they also will give it
to them if you, as acustomer, sign a very specific and explicit
(38:22):
release of content, and they will, so you can do that. So
if it's kind of like trying toprove that there's no way it could have
been me. Just look at likewhatever, like, yeah, check out
my twenty three in me, Likeit couldn't have been me. I don't
think anybody's ever done this, Butit is in their terms of use they
(38:43):
will not give any of your familymembers his information unless they too also writtenly
expressed, so you're only gonna geta breakdown of certain things, but you
don't get access to the familial relationsgood And it says the use of twenty
three and me personal genetic service percase working other criminal investigation falls outside the
(39:07):
scope of our services intended use.Also, it is a violation of our
coos for law enforcement officials to submitsamples on behalf of a prisoner or someone
in state custody who has been incharge with a crime. That's right,
bits, you can't fucking around.You can't just go buy a twenty three
(39:28):
and ME kit and be like,here, do this prisoner that is a
like. But also if they probablyalready have their DNA jail, so that
theoretically, I mean, if they'rein jail, you should be able to
figure out a way to get theirfucking DNA. Otherwise you have no idea.
You have no business right, nofucking jail legally. Yeah. That
(39:53):
being said, if you submit andor upload your information to these companies,
you still have the option to optin or out of familiar sharing, so
you can do it and then notget access to any relatives. That's also
(40:14):
something that ancestry has behind a paywall. Anyway, you're unfindable. You can
go on there and look, butthey can't find you. And also there
are another thing about privacy. Ifanybody any of you have had this,
you know that if a person isalive, there are no pictures unless you
upload that picture. Oh I didn'tknow that. If you go into your
(40:36):
family tree, so your family couldhave uploaded pictures of your deceased relatives.
Yeah, that's fine. But ifthey're alive, but they're listed as alive,
even if there is a picture thatthey uploaded, it will not show
on there. Good, you canadd it into your own personal one,
(40:57):
but they can't. Nobody else cansee that. There's another privacy issue and
it only will like say, whatevername that that person put on their name
to it. Yeah, so Iwill say that the privacy laws are actually
pretty good with these, but takeit with a grain of salt because you
(41:19):
are giving your DNA to a privatecompany yep, which I've already done,
so I mean, but whatever.Also, here's um, don't do crimes.
Don't crack and submit your DNA tothese Yeah. Also, don't do
two crimes at the same time.If you're gonna do a crime, do
one at a time. Yeah,And don't hit. Don't get hit with
(41:42):
a third strike. Once you hittwo, don't do another one. You're
done. You're done. Also,fuck the police. Fuck the police,
yes, absolutely. Um. Also, don't do crimes at Walmart and use
your debit card and hide your IDat the soft checkout because self check out
machines can literally see into your walletand they take and they hold onto your
(42:06):
credit card information. That is whyyou can go to Walmart and say,
I don't have my receipt for this. Can you look it up through my
credit card? Yea. So ifyou're going to petrifying, wear your mask,
don't have your wallet out showing yourID, use cash, and be
(42:27):
the fuck out for whatever you didpay for exactly. Also fuck Walmart.
But but yeah, so that istwenty three meted. Do you have anything
else you want to add? Ijust have these two very very humorous quotes.
So these are reviews. So thefirst one is from Carl. DNA
(42:51):
friend linked my DNA to a stringof unself murders committed in LA in the
eighties. While my lawyer has advisedme now to discuss the case, I
can say without a doubt that Idid not murder the Rooney's, Harper's,
Sanchez's, McDowell's, or Christio's.Also, I found out that I'm one
thirty second Japanese excellent is from Paolo. He says, I always suspected that
(43:17):
I had brown eyes, but DNAfriend finally confirmed it. I love it,
absolutely love it. Honestly, it'slike reading one star book reviews.
They're fucking gold gold. Oh mygod. Here's one from Beth DNA friend.
(43:38):
Results are truly life changing. Ifound out that I'm not related to
anyone. Looks like it's from Sophia. Looks like I've got a race between
Alzheimer's and Parkinson's coming up. Howexciting. I was so excited to learn
(44:02):
that I have DNA. This iswonderful. Oh that's amazing. That's yeah.
So that is DNA friend dot coma DNA website parody. We should
also look back at these in ayear and see how much they've changed.
(44:22):
Again. Oh, we're gonna haveto because if we don't, we're not
going to really know who we are. Yeah, Like, I mean we've
already decided that we're cousins. Onrealistically, we're double related. To God,
that sounds incestuous. So like Isaw a thing where it was basically
(44:45):
like, if you're creole, you'redouble related. Like like it was like,
somebody creole is a mix. Creoleis actually a word that came from
sire Leo, one of those umethnic groups. But if you're cre creole
literally just making a mix of things. Yeah, but they're like if you're
(45:06):
a creole, uh, you knowyou're not creole if you're not double related.
And then like this person was likeI'm not dumble related. And then
she's like wait, pull us upthe twenty three and me or whatever that
there is an uncle who's also likeher grandfather like like like great great,
(45:30):
like twice removed. But like,because I mean it is a very small
community, so hard, I mean, we're all pretty much probably quadruple related
if we go back far enough,Like this is why they say six degrees
of separation. Didn't we all comefrom literally the rib of some dumb hooe
(45:53):
that rib came from us. Yeah, we are the rib. But yes,
so that is our little mini diveon to twenty three and me,
Yeah, proceed with caution if you'regonna do it, um, but have
fun, yes, have fun,don't commit crimes, and happy Valentine's Day.
(46:15):
Today is Valentine's Day, y'all.It's not Valentine's Day. It's gonna
be Valentine's Day when this fucking getsreleased, I know. But I just
like the way she said that,and I had to throw my piece in
there. So yeah, so you'regonna say good night, good night,
good bye. Remember you're that bitch, Come on, say it. Say
(46:38):
drink your water, drank water,and good night, good night, good
night, good night,
What we could talk about this whenwe're actually recording. Listen, we were
so excited we are recording. That'sthe gig. Okay, Hi, it's
Brittany and Windsor and you are listeningto Thanks I Hated a week bi weekly
social commentary podcast where two friends shootthe shit about social issues thorochheaded on suspecting
targets and talk about twenty three inme. Yes, blind Blaine, quickly,
(00:27):
this is not a sponsored podcast.Fuck no, because we don't sponsor
anybody but ourselves. God damn right, goddamn right. So today, we,
like you heard in our intro,are discussing twenty three and me.
So we're gonna go very very briefly. We're gonna do an overview of twenty
(00:47):
three in me very briefly. Idon't want to give them too much airtime
because then it sounds like a sponsorship. We're gonna talk about, you know,
how law enforcements used it, howwe've used it, and where this
information can go next. So I'mgonna jump right in. I'm gonna start
us off, which you guys,if you don't remember this fact, it's
(01:10):
not always sometimes I shut the fuckup in the beginning but not today.
So twenty three and Me is abiotech company out of California which go fucking
figure, and they basically do DNAtesting as their core crooks of their business,
and then they also have recently startedto do like trait testing. So
(01:32):
basically spitting it two, you sendit's twenty three and Me, and they
send you digital results about yourself,your lineage, your likelihood of liking cilantro,
anything of that. I am lesslikely to like Cilantro, which is
bullshit because I fucking love Cilantro.So you guys are fucking wrong, or
I'm making myself like it to combatthe fact that I think it's more.
(01:55):
It's not that you like you likeit or you don't like it. It's
either it tastes like so or itdoesn't. And I mind it not takes
like soap, like you can stillnot god like it, but it not
tastes like soap. It doesn't tastelike soap, Thank fucking God. So
um here s vibe is actually superbeneficial for those of us that are part
of the African guy asper that cameout of the slave trade, also for
(02:19):
indigenous folks whose lives were also spreadacross the world. UM, maybe some
Jewish folks who had to kind ofspread out after, you know, those
that were not caught by fucking Hitlerspread out into different areas they do you
have ashke Nazi jew as a U. I'm so your point one percent.
(02:40):
That's how I know that that it'sactually on your dnaport. And I will
say based on my own experience,UM twenty three and me is as they
get more data, they are gettingmore and more in depth UM, which
I'll talk about very very briefly whenwe go over my own experience, UM.
But it gives a lot of informationabout ethnic groups, things along that
(03:02):
line. So if you were somebody, especially somebody born in the United States
who is not a first generation,second generation, third generation American, the
likelihood that you are categorized based onyour race is very high. If you
are Hispanic or Spanish or Latino thelike, you also have that additional ethnicity
(03:28):
portion, So you may be classifiedbased on your ethnicity, but very very
likely you're classified as white, black, brown. If you've got very strong
Native features, you may get thatclassification as Native or First Nations, something
along these different lines. So we'regoing to talk a little bit about it.
(03:49):
Twenty three in ME is believed bysome to be just straight up junk
science. Regardless, States and theFED got involved because they saw that people
were you to lizing this service andthey're just like, well, wait a
minute, it's gonna need some regulation, and that regulation and talks of regulation
have gone back as far as twothousand and eight, and with twenty three
(04:11):
and ME, they're very recently startedto get approvals by the FDA to do
some of those genetic testings that letus know if we think that cilantro tastes
like soap, and or if ourhair is likely to be thick follicled or
thin follicled. Mindset, mine isvery likely to be thin follicled, was
it, which is actually true becausethe follicles of my actual hair are very
(04:35):
thin. They're like little, invisible, almost pieces of wire. I just
have a lot of those very thinfollicled hairs. So they were not wrong.
They were absolutely right, as winterwill likely touch on in her portion.
If not, I mean, wecan we can suck around with it.
(04:57):
It's not a big deal. Thereare a lot of privacy can instead
have come around out with using twentythree in me. I know that she's
gonna touch on the law enforcement aspect, but essentially, you are giving your
DNA to someone and they are puttingit in databases that are ultimately, in
some way, shape or form possiblybeing used by law enforcement. Again Windsor,
we'll get into that. But alsothey're getting information about you that is
(05:23):
not regulated by the Health Information andPortability Health Information and Portability account portability.
Yet there we go of nineteen ninetysix. Bitch, I literally just wrote
hippus. So the fact that Igot as far as I did in that
magic actually know what it is literallyone of the very few things I know.
(05:43):
Nineteen ninety six was kind of awild year for laws. We'll have
to talk about that one day,but twenty three and me does have to
adhere to state law as far asprivacy goes, as far as sharing your
information goes. Unfortunately, some ofus live in fucked ass states, so
you know, they probably know everythingabout me at this point, and that's
fine. I literally just applied fora job at the FAA, so somebody
(06:05):
knows everything about me. Whatever,whatever, dope. Um. So,
since I was a very very verylittle person, a lot of people loved
to tell me that they thought mymother was some type of South American or
that she was like had to Nativein her. Her family loved to claim
that Cherokee princess love live laugh,loved it. And because my mother she's
(06:30):
a dark ass white girl, likeshe's got very dark features, she's always
had very dark hair. So thiswas just the narrative that they ran with.
And so I started a free trialancestry dot com because I was like,
I'm going to find out where thefuck these people are, you know,
came from. And in that trial, I got brought up this advertisement
I got advertised to basically for twentythree and me and I said, shit,
(06:53):
I'm just gonna go straight to thegoddamn source. Let me tell you
there is no genius, not anounce in my mother's family, and telling
her family that just chef's fucking kissing. So the funny thing is is that
I, according to this there issome there's about ten percent Native, which
(07:18):
is significant. Yea. So exactly, there's there's about ten percent of First
Nation's DNA in my body. We'renot going to go into how that could
have gotten there because I am white. So I'm sure that we all know
how that probably ended up happening,goddamn right. But it's so funny because
(07:43):
it's from my father's side. Iknow that because my mother doesn't have it,
and and so then you have mymother's side and they're like, I
was like just being I was beingstalkers, and I was like going through
their facebooks and stuff, and it'slike like Native American pride in this and
(08:05):
that. I'm like, I'm literallylooking at Chile's DNA and you don't have
any exactly exactly, And so that'svery interesting that you said, um,
the fact that you have any,and we know how that got in there.
So I am fifty point three percentEuropean and I am not forty nine
(08:31):
point seven percent Sub Saharan African.So there was some white in there,
and there was some white people doingsome shit. We know how that got
there at some point, because thenumbers that I have do not equal one
hundred percent Brittany. That's beautiful,But with that being said, fifty point
three percent European, over thirty sixpercent of that is French and German,
(08:56):
which is why I'm such an asshole. Where my mother likely got those dark
features. We are cousins. I'malso two point three percent British and Irish,
so I'm also kind of Mary's fifteenthcousin at this point, you're welcome.
Um. Also point two percent umbroadly northwestern European. Five broadly northwestern
(09:20):
European. We need to go toDenmark and get our fucking system. We
could be Iceland as Icelandic. Yeah, we could be fucking from Finland.
Well that's Scandinavian. I don't know. Oh wait, no, I could
be you. We could be Ukrainian. I don't think I would bear very
(09:43):
well as a Ukrainian UM based onstories. Yeah, Like we could be
Albanian. Let's be Albanian. Well, how about Serbian? I heard the
Serbs will fuck you up? Romanian? Romanian, let's be Romanian. I
think we're going to do that.We're gonna be a Romanian American of us?
(10:05):
How American of us to colonize somebodyelse's culture, what the fuck?
Um? And then I've got elevenpoint six percent that is Spanish and Portuguese,
so very much colonizing, very colonizing. And the interesting thing about the
Portuguese and the Spanish specifically is thatthey blend into my sub Saharan African because
(10:30):
the trans Atlantic say trade, theTransatlantic slave trade. How do you think
Puerto Rican thing Cubans were made?And also what are the Philippines? Were
they just colonization or was that fromthe slave trade as well? That's colonization.
Okay, yeah, that's colonization.But um, thirty eight point one
(10:52):
percent of my forty eight point threepercent is West African, Um gone and
Liberian and Sara Leone and Sarah iswhere actually where I don't know if you
remember this text that I sent awhile back, but twenty three and me
was actually able to give me ethnicgroups from Sierra Leone. So Timpany and
(11:13):
Limbaugh are two ethnic groups within SierraLeone that I have, like my DNA
was associated with. And that's areally big idea. Just fucking smacked my
microphone, I know. But that'sa really really big deal because these are
coastal folks in a coastal country thatwas part of this Transatlantic slave trade,
(11:35):
probably one of the most affected areasof it. Absolutely, and this is
important because despite inhabiting the continent ofAfrica as indigenous folks for over two thousand
years, we don't get a lotof this history, but if I look
at my own personal history, thereare a lot of aspects that blend into
(11:56):
the Sierra Leone portion of life,which is so wild and crazy, and
the area is super tropical, whichis probably how I can deal with heat,
but fucking hate the heat. Andit was overrun by the Portuguese and
the fourteen hundreds. So Freetown,which was eventually established as a major hub
(12:20):
for the slave tread, ultimately becamelike a literal Freetown where free Africans would
settle. They would return back tosigare Leone and they would like fucking demand
their freedom. They'd be like,no, bitch, We're not going to
do this. And so the factthat this part of a country that literally
is an island that sits the bitchbasically faces the United States, it became
(12:46):
a huge hub for taking slaves across. And the reason that finding those ethnic
groups is so important is because foranybody who didn't know Africa is the most
ethnically diverse location on the planet,reminded everybody that is a continent. It
is not a country, a verybig continent, very big continent with a
(13:11):
lot of different ethnic groups that havedifferent languages and customs, and so when
we all originated there, every lastone of us and did. But when
people are just like, oh,Africans, well, you cannot break this
down. There are literally thousands ofethnic groups in Africa. There's no other
place on the planet that is ethnicallydiverse as Africa. So when you're thinking
(13:35):
about very specific ethnic groups from SierraLeone and where they ended up, you
do end up with a brittany becausemany Sierra Leon slaves that came to the
Americas were dropped in the space betweenum I forget what the name of the
places, and I obviously didn't writeit North Carolina coastal through Georgia ending at
(13:56):
Jacksonville, Florida, which is veryvery specific, but that's where a lot
of the Sierra Leonian slaves, becauseit was pretty it was the easiest route,
came right fucking across. And soit's very much the gull of people
that you hear about today. Andthis is very binya binya, but this
is very specific because that is verymuch the culture that I was raised in.
(14:18):
So and there's a lot of thingsthat I do that I never knew
were part of this culture. Whichultimately came from this culture hundreds of years
ago, and your ancestors have beenable to pass those things down through I
mean yeah through I was through wildadversity, but still that it's actually even
(14:39):
more impressive with everything, but therewere still those little things that literally so
many things that I do today asI've been slowly getting more trying to learn
more about, like the cultural relevanceof who I am as a person,
because sometimes as Americans, we andthis is just based on my own observation,
(15:01):
we will do things that are veryblack and white literally and figuratively,
so we are engaging in cultural aspects. Like if your memial makes a mayonnaise
salad, that's a cultural thing likelyfor her, even if that culture is
(15:22):
Appalachian, poor white, Um,but it is its own fucking culture.
Get out of town. It's amazing, Like, uh, I want to
learn more about it, but I'mafraid to visit um because of the racism
that I'm because they and they literallydon't know anything else, a lot of
them exactly, Like it's very mucha learned event, but there are pieces
(15:46):
of it, Like there's a dancecalled the ringshell that if you look at
some Black Baptist churches in this area. There are variations on the fact that
I literally eat rice with every meal. That is an old Gala instance,
like you are fucking eating rice.Center is not complete if you do not
have rice with it, or haints, which we talked about in our Alabama
(16:10):
episode using the color indigo. Theseare all things that came I mean,
yeah, it's an amalgamation of abunch of different things because you had a
bunch of different people that spoke abunch of different languages being forced to do
a bunch of different things. Butit's things like that that twenty three in
me has opened up my worldview twoand so I personally find it to be
interesting, even if the girlies findit to be wild. I will say,
(16:38):
one of the wildest little pieces onmy twenty three name report that I'm
gonna tell you about before I turnit over to you is I am point
five percent Western Asian and North African, so like that Pakistani Middle Eastern type
shit, which is probably why Ididn't let any some long spices. So
(17:03):
I actually, so this is actuallyreally good to bring up because my I've
had ancestry for about three years andI've had twenty three AM for two years,
and in that time my results havechanged as their data pool grows.
So I went from having a vaguelyAsian like, um like East Asian,
(17:26):
things like that, South Asian,and those are now gone and they are
actually those percentages made my indigenous Americanhire uh huh okay, so, which
was just amazing to me. Somine I am eighty nine point nine percent
European. Yeah, bitch, white, she white, she whites, I
(17:51):
mean that is what it is.So I name is Windsor girl. Yeah,
I mean, thanks, mama,m hm. So I am exactly
a quarter British and Irish, mostlyfrom the United Kingdom. Let me see,
I'm trying to zoom into whatever fuckingcountry this is because it's like really
(18:15):
dark blue, but I don't know, so mostly from the United Kingdom because
I didn't prepare for this. Soyeah, listen, this is life,
and you guys expect preparation, andyou clearly you don't know anything about our
podcast. And one of them,the main one, is actually Greater London.
Okay, fancy bitch. We gottago visit your land sometime. So
(18:37):
this is where we're cousins. Iam twenty three point five percent French and
German. But this is really Germanmore than it is French. I think
those two are like because it literallysays that I'm from Baden Wurtemburg, Germany.
See that's insanely wonderful. That's thebreakdown that I don't have for my
whiteness. I gotta my blackness,not for my whiteness. Here's even more
(19:00):
of my whiteness. I am twentytwo point seven percent Scandinavian, specifically mainly
from mere Agromsto, Norway and VastraGotland County, Sweden. So so white,
so white. Then I have thebroadly northwestern European of eighteen point five
(19:23):
percent. Where are we discovered thatwe just decided we're going to be Romanian,
Yeah, because it sounded cool.Point two percent ask Naji Jewish and
nine point nine percent Indigenous American ofthe Great Lakes in Canada, which makes
sense because I am a Midwestern bitch. Oh that's right, that's right,
(19:45):
she is. She do be fromthe Midwest. But the thing is it
may not. Maybe it's not frommy it might not be from my father's
side, because they're all southern,like Arkansas and shit. But because just
because my mother doesn't have it doesn'tmean that her relatives didn't have it,
(20:07):
Like because the DNA is weird likethat, the DNA is fucking weird.
And I think I'm gonna make mymother do one what I'll fix it later.
The TV is not working. Itprobably got unplugged, you know that.
The fact that you just said thatpeople they're probably losing their fucking minds
(20:29):
right now. No, it's justmy TV, my bedroom TV. Oh.
I was like, you know thatthey cannot deal with that shit.
And there's also a one percent traceancestry for broadly sub Saharan African. We're
also cousins, We're family at thispoint, like family, family, we
have proof m h. And itsays the genetic diversity of sub sub Saharan
(20:56):
Africa represents both the deep history ofhumans in the region and the recent grations
that have carried people from Western Africato both southern and Eastern Africa. As
a result of this ancient and complexpopulation history, it is difficult to assign
some DNA to a specific population withinthat general area, which is valid.
And then there's the random zero pointone that's unassigned because I am a mutt,
(21:21):
so there's always gonna be something theycan't find. But yeah, well
that's so sad is that people usedto call me that when I was in
school. It's actually kind of transplant. So it's like if you're if you
call somebody who's black a mutt,it is racist. If you call someone
who is white American and mutt,it's just the truth. Don't let them
Mayo crusaders get you down. Ihate you so fucking much. I can
(21:48):
say those terms. I'm white.I can say that it's giving a little
racist, and I love it.I'm racist against my own people, me
too. But here's a guy,though, you can't be racist against white
people. You can be prejudiced,but you can't be racist. So I
(22:10):
have two wild stories. Okay,I'm ready. I'm so ready because these
are were stories that were told directlyto me by like people I personally know,
and they didn't put their stories onthe internet for everybody to read.
Right, I am going to bevery vague. I will not use any
(22:30):
real names, just going to tellthe basic story. She's not even gonna
use pronouns. You guys, well, I might get a little confusing if
I don't but regardless. So thefirst one is a couple of years ago,
my office shared space with another officeand a girl who worked in the
other office. The girl who workedin the other office was just like,
(22:55):
I just got the craziest email,and she was just like, yeah,
I did the twenty three of me. I'm excited to see like exactly what
I like. How it is justyou know, shooting the ship like we
all did it for She gets anemail from twenty three me that they found
a close relative. So they giveyou emails when they find someone who is
(23:19):
that of a sibling or a parent. What they found a half sister,
Bitch, I've been waiting my wholelife. If God is gonna tell me
that I don't have a fucking halfsibling out here, get the fuck out
of town. And not only that, So this is important backstory. She
(23:41):
was in her mid twenties and herparents had her at a later age,
so they were already in their likeforties and like fifties when they had her
and her siblings. The sister wasin her fifties, so she EMAILSKA.
(24:06):
So she's from a previous relationship.Yeah, okay, I was really trying
to figure that out, so don'tmind you. But her parents have been
literally together for they just celebrated theirfiftieth anniversary. No, they did,
so, so she gets this emailand she's like, Hi, you know,
(24:27):
my name is so and so Ijust got the twenty three in me
because I wanted to see if Icould find family and find out where I
came from because I was adopted.So so you know, obviously it's really
weird. And she's like, youknow, just give me some time.
(24:48):
And like she's like, just giveme some time to kind of process this
and I'll get back to you later. Yeah. So she's going back and
forth and then she's like, howthe fuck do I tell my father this?
And so it's like this whole thingand she's like, I don't know
what's happening. Long story short,So she ended up did reaching out to
her the mother gave her mother gaveher her adoption at birth, So they
(25:15):
figured out who her mother was becausehe has only been with a handful of
people. It was his college girlfriend. So she either left school or she
graduated or something and never told himabout the pregnancy and just gave the baby
up for adoption. That's an episodeof law and order. Mhm. So
(25:40):
you know, obviously this is abig emotional deal for yes, for everybody
involved. But they've met a fewtimes in person. You know, they're
working on relationships and you know,but everybody's doing good now. I mean
obviously they You're as close as youcan be for someone you haven't met for
(26:03):
fifty five years or so. Yeah, I mean, I can't wait to
find my real rich father. Itwas not a cat. It was not
a cat and rich. Don't forgetthe rich part. So here's my second
story, and this one's even crazier. Oh no, So, oh,
my my friend, her brother wentno contact with his entire family, dropped
(26:32):
off the face of the earth.Damnum. He been having some depression things
like that, and just like hewas having a rough not really getting along
with certain members of the family.Not my friend, they were, but
he just you know, was justlike no more. So years go by
(26:56):
and my friend does a twenty threeof me just for frenzies. Yeah,
and she gets this weird message fromsome random of you know, family member.
It's like, you're like fourth cousinstwice reproved, will you share two
(27:18):
point six? You know? Thoseso like the person's like, hey,
I know this is really weird,but can I really need to talk to
you. So she's like, okay, like what's going on? Longer the
short of it, she's like,I put my information into this database and
(27:41):
I got a phone call from adetective who was who found a familial match
in me or a John Doe soand so like her like that member,
get off of that. You're gonnabreak it. That member her family,
(28:03):
her extended family, was like researchingthis because like, mind you, my
friend had comes from a very smallnuclear family, like not a lot of
them, and none of them haveDNA tests done. So she was the
first one. And she's like,I just saw when he popped up that
I got the notification when I wentto put you on my tree, I
(28:25):
noticed that you would have had morerelation. And she's like, maybe you
should call this detective. She callsthe detective and John was her brother.
No, no, no, that'snot what I wanted. And he died
(28:45):
very very very soon after he wentno contact. They found his skeletal remains
probably one of his favorite places tobe. As you know, horribly tragic
as this was, it brought closure. Okay, I'll go longer in a
(29:07):
box in some kind of storage orunmarked grave or what have you. I'll
give you that. So it's horriblysad, but I say, it doesn't
not make me fucking sad. Butbut there at least there's closure. There's
closure. They got closure. Sothat's going to bring me into my thing.
(29:29):
On twenty three meon law enforcement,How did this detective get that information?
Blank? Blank? Here's how theygot that information because the family member
who it matched with put their DNAinto a different database. Because there is
another database that like, like youcan upload your there's multiple databases. Actually
(29:55):
you can upload your information in andyou can put it into this database the
Olivia We're done. So you couldput your information into the database for the
sole purpose of finding familial relations.That's that's what the point of this is.
(30:18):
And for this reason, like peoplecan also upload genetic profiles of anyone.
It could be a John Doe,it could be a missing person,
it um. They generally don't doit with suspects and an active murder unless
(30:38):
it's like one of like the GoldenGate killer. Wasn't he found by hey?
That sh so he was found becausethey had his DNA on file and
put that DNA into one of thesedatabases and got a off of someone else
who uploaded their thing. So that'show they get around that because twenty three
(31:03):
in me does not give your shitto the cops. So twenty three and
me does not give your shit overto the cops unless they have a subpoena
or a valid search warrant. Thatit has to be very specific because guess
what, genealogy from these kits arenot admissible in the court of law.
(31:26):
Really, they are not. There'sno chain of evidence. So and also
the lab which is actually part ofthe requirement of having this chain of evidence,
only get your day of birth andyour sex. That is it.
So they don't even have Brittany aBrittany Buttonham at theirs. Yeah, they
(31:57):
don't have that, bitch. Nope, they have scorpio ass homis exactly.
If it doesn't say that I don'twant it. Yeah. So there,
that right there just shows that theycan't use that because there's no other identifying
information exactly, which is why it'smostly cold cases and missing persons and things
(32:22):
where they do put that into thesehopes of especially cold cases. Because also
when we're talking cold cases. There'snot a very big budget for these cases.
Yeah, and you can just uploadthat DNA profile into these pools and
(32:45):
wait for a notification to come in. So that enables you to actively work
on a case without actively working ona case. And funny thing is is
that I when I was looking atthis, this girl just did her her
DNA. These girls there were tripletsand there is too identical in one fraternal
(33:07):
and they kind of just wanted toget the DNA tests altogether to see like
how their DNA actually matches up,like if they're were the ones who are
identical, Like is their DNA identicaland things like that. Yeah, now
mind you. They were told theirentire life that they were Italian. Italian
(33:29):
heritage was big to them. I'mso scared. Guess what wasn't on their
DNA history report. No, theyweren't Cherokee princesses. No, they weren't.
They were not. And it turnedout that their DNA that a missing
person was it was either an uncleor a grandparent that had that close to
(33:52):
DNA a missing person. So seventyfive years after this four year old,
a six or four year old waskidnapped in Manhattan, they figured out that
he was alive, and well,I think they're both dead now because it
was a long time ago that hewas alive, and well that whole time,
(34:16):
and then there's a there's a bunchof family law and all that shit.
I didn't really go into it,but basically that is how did these
things work. And they found thatout too, because that that DNA from
the brother was put into these Soit's a lot. But I'm going to
(34:37):
read to you directly from their websitewhat they do. So what they will
not surrender customer data because zumer datawithout a proper subpoena good. And part
of this is also they will onlytest samples that are sent back in their
(35:00):
collection kits. They will not testsamples that were done in anything else.
So that is a consent to testwhen you send it in theirs their kit.
Okay, And the longer you talk, the longer it is going to
take me to finish. So twentythree and ME chooses to use all practical,
(35:25):
legal and administrative resources to resist requestsfrom law enforcement. And we do
not share our customal data with anypublic databases or with entities that may increase
the risk of law enforcement access Incertain circumstances. However, twenty three ME
may be required by law to complywith a valid court order, subpoena or
(35:45):
search warrant for genetic or personal information. Yeah, twenty three ME requires valid
legal process in order to consider inproducing information about our users. It will
only review increases to find in eighteenUSC. Section twenty seven O three C
two, and that has to berelated to a valid trial, grand jury,
(36:07):
or administrative subpoena, warrant or order. They must be served on twenty
three AM by personal service, justlike subpoena is in a court setting.
Twenty three ME will consider releasing additionalaccount information or transactional information pertaining to an
account only in the response to acourt order pursue it to this and addition,
(36:28):
In addition, will only consider increasefrom a government agency with proper jurisdiction.
Right, so you can't just beasking for dumb shit correct now.
Also, they will unless it isexplicitly stated in the subpoena or search warrant,
(36:50):
to not notify the suspect or thecustomer. They send an email to
the email and file stating that theygot a subpoena for their genetic information.
Good, And they they take acertain they have like I think usually thirty
days to respond respond to a subpoena, So that gives the customer time to
(37:13):
take legal action or whatever they needto do, right, so they can
get their lawyer be like, ah, we're not doing this, you don't
have any you do have any groundfor this ship bitch back off. Yeah.
So they do give you a chanceto get your shit together. And
they have never in their what ithas been like fifteen years now, they've
(37:36):
never had valid one of these subpoenasserved to them and have never given out
customer information to law enforcement. Good. I bet you it's because you have
to be able to specifically say becausewe deal with this UM. Florida wildly
has very good domestic violence laws andso if like the police don't bring you
(37:57):
a very specific warrant or whatever,you don't say anything. And so they
likely have things like that protecting them, thank god. Yes, And so
they also do go to a secondDUDA. So they also will give it
to them if you, as acustomer, sign a very specific and explicit
(38:22):
release of content, and they will, so you can do that. So
if it's kind of like trying toprove that there's no way it could have
been me. Just look at likewhatever, like, yeah, check out
my twenty three in me, Likeit couldn't have been me. I don't
think anybody's ever done this, Butit is in their terms of use they
(38:43):
will not give any of your familymembers his information unless they too also writtenly
expressed, so you're only gonna geta breakdown of certain things, but you
don't get access to the familial relationsgood And it says the use of twenty
three and me personal genetic service percase working other criminal investigation falls outside the
(39:07):
scope of our services intended use.Also, it is a violation of our
coos for law enforcement officials to submitsamples on behalf of a prisoner or someone
in state custody who has been incharge with a crime. That's right,
bits, you can't fucking around.You can't just go buy a twenty three
(39:28):
and ME kit and be like,here, do this prisoner that is a
like. But also if they probablyalready have their DNA jail, so that
theoretically, I mean, if they'rein jail, you should be able to
figure out a way to get theirfucking DNA. Otherwise you have no idea.
You have no business right, nofucking jail legally. Yeah. That
(39:53):
being said, if you submit andor upload your information to these companies,
you still have the option to optin or out of familiar sharing, so
you can do it and then notget access to any relatives. That's also
(40:14):
something that ancestry has behind a paywall. Anyway, you're unfindable. You can
go on there and look, butthey can't find you. And also there
are another thing about privacy. Ifanybody any of you have had this,
you know that if a person isalive, there are no pictures unless you
upload that picture. Oh I didn'tknow that. If you go into your
(40:36):
family tree, so your family couldhave uploaded pictures of your deceased relatives.
Yeah, that's fine. But ifthey're alive, but they're listed as alive,
even if there is a picture thatthey uploaded, it will not show
on there. Good, you canadd it into your own personal one,
(40:57):
but they can't. Nobody else cansee that. There's another privacy issue and
it only will like say, whatevername that that person put on their name
to it. Yeah, so Iwill say that the privacy laws are actually
pretty good with these, but takeit with a grain of salt because you
(41:19):
are giving your DNA to a privatecompany yep, which I've already done,
so I mean, but whatever.Also, here's um, don't do crimes.
Don't crack and submit your DNA tothese Yeah. Also, don't do
two crimes at the same time.If you're gonna do a crime, do
one at a time. Yeah,And don't hit. Don't get hit with
(41:42):
a third strike. Once you hittwo, don't do another one. You're
done. You're done. Also,fuck the police. Fuck the police,
yes, absolutely. Um. Also, don't do crimes at Walmart and use
your debit card and hide your IDat the soft checkout because self check out
machines can literally see into your walletand they take and they hold onto your
(42:06):
credit card information. That is whyyou can go to Walmart and say,
I don't have my receipt for this. Can you look it up through my
credit card? Yea. So ifyou're going to petrifying, wear your mask,
don't have your wallet out showing yourID, use cash, and be
(42:27):
the fuck out for whatever you didpay for exactly. Also fuck Walmart.
But but yeah, so that istwenty three meted. Do you have anything
else you want to add? Ijust have these two very very humorous quotes.
So these are reviews. So thefirst one is from Carl. DNA
(42:51):
friend linked my DNA to a stringof unself murders committed in LA in the
eighties. While my lawyer has advisedme now to discuss the case, I
can say without a doubt that Idid not murder the Rooney's, Harper's,
Sanchez's, McDowell's, or Christio's.Also, I found out that I'm one
thirty second Japanese excellent is from Paolo. He says, I always suspected that
(43:17):
I had brown eyes, but DNAfriend finally confirmed it. I love it,
absolutely love it. Honestly, it'slike reading one star book reviews.
They're fucking gold gold. Oh mygod. Here's one from Beth DNA friend.
(43:38):
Results are truly life changing. Ifound out that I'm not related to
anyone. Looks like it's from Sophia. Looks like I've got a race between
Alzheimer's and Parkinson's coming up. Howexciting. I was so excited to learn
(44:02):
that I have DNA. This iswonderful. Oh that's amazing. That's yeah.
So that is DNA friend dot coma DNA website parody. We should
also look back at these in ayear and see how much they've changed.
(44:22):
Again. Oh, we're gonna haveto because if we don't, we're not
going to really know who we are. Yeah, Like, I mean we've
already decided that we're cousins. Onrealistically, we're double related. To God,
that sounds incestuous. So like Isaw a thing where it was basically
(44:45):
like, if you're creole, you'redouble related. Like like it was like,
somebody creole is a mix. Creoleis actually a word that came from
sire Leo, one of those umethnic groups. But if you're cre creole
literally just making a mix of things. Yeah, but they're like if you're
(45:06):
a creole, uh, you knowyou're not creole if you're not double related.
And then like this person was likeI'm not dumble related. And then
she's like wait, pull us upthe twenty three and me or whatever that
there is an uncle who's also likeher grandfather like like like great great,
(45:30):
like twice removed. But like,because I mean it is a very small
community, so hard, I mean, we're all pretty much probably quadruple related
if we go back far enough,Like this is why they say six degrees
of separation. Didn't we all comefrom literally the rib of some dumb hooe
(45:53):
that rib came from us. Yeah, we are the rib. But yes,
so that is our little mini diveon to twenty three and me,
Yeah, proceed with caution if you'regonna do it, um, but have
fun, yes, have fun,don't commit crimes, and happy Valentine's Day.
(46:15):
Today is Valentine's Day, y'all.It's not Valentine's Day. It's gonna
be Valentine's Day when this fucking getsreleased, I know. But I just
like the way she said that,and I had to throw my piece in
there. So yeah, so you'regonna say good night, good night,
good bye. Remember you're that bitch, Come on, say it. Say
(46:38):
drink your water, drank water,and good night, good night, good
night, good night,
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