October 23, 2025 • 57 mins
A single dad, two seven-year-olds, and an advanced cancer diagnosis that should have flattened him. Instead, Barry chose a different road: blessing what hurt, building a healing posse, and orienting every day toward joy, devotion, and the fierce practicality of staying alive. We walk through that turning point and the unexpected aftermath—how heightened senses, slow time, and simple music became medicine; how a century-old Carmel cottage turned into a sanctuary; and why generosity might be the fastest way to unblock money and meaning.
We dig into the quiet science of mysticism: breath that calms the nervous system, meditations that plant new patterns, and movement that clears the mind when “monkey brain” won’t sit still. Barry shares his coaching lens from Silicon Valley, where imposter syndrome visits executives and first-time managers alike. We talk feminine leadership in men and women—authentic communication, empathy without apology, and the strength to say what you mean. The theme repeats: expand your vessel so you can hold more light, lead with clarity, and let impact flow through you rather than from you.
Carmel becomes a character of its own: ocean air, redwood trails, and a garden stitched with Japanese maples he planted during recovery. Out of this place, Barry launched Postcards for Healing—free week-long stays gifted to people moving through loss or illness, nominated the old-school way with pen, ink, and stamp. It’s reciprocity made real, a tangible way to turn love into logistics. Along the way we trade practical tools: a simple breath ratio to quiet the mind, a daily two-minute visualization that rewires beliefs, and the “find your song” ritual to shift state on command.
Come for the story; leave with a blueprint for thriving. If this conversation stirred something in you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find their way here. And if someone you love is healing, send a postcard and nominate them for Carmel right here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Joya (00:01):
Welcome to that Mystic Podcast, a sanctuary for the
wild, messy, holy process ofrebirth and resurrection.
I'm Joya, teacher of thefeminine mystic path, and I walk
with women through grief,change, and awakening.
Back home to the presence thatbreathes through all of life.
(00:23):
We don't chase enlightenment.
We embody a resurrection.
We walk devotion in motion.
And here we talk about theintelligence of the heart, the
medicine of grief, the mysticismhidden in everyday life, and
also the science of mysticism.
Take a breath, grab your tea,let your shoulders drop.
(00:45):
This is that mystic podcast,where heaven takes root in the
flesh, and love learns to liveonce again through you.
Hello, Barry.
Thank you so much for joiningme on that Mystic Podcast.
(01:08):
I'm so excited to have youbecause I don't have a ton of
men on my show, but I definitelywant to start having more.
And especially men like you whoare very much in touch and in
tune with the feminine side ofnature and reality.
And so let's start off thisconversation, Barry, by
introducing yourself after youask, answer the question.
(01:29):
What does living a mysticallife look like and mean for you?
Barry (01:35):
First of all, thank you so much for having me on this
podcast.
I'm really excited to connectwith you and your audience.
So living a mystical life, I'vealways been interested in the
mysteries of life ever sincebeing a little kid.
And now I define it for me morearound spirituality.
(01:55):
Um we will get to this in thepodcast, but I've gone through
my own journey where I wasn'tsure and it wasn't clear whether
I was going to survive.
And so when you come out theother end of that, I was
spiritual to begin with, but Ithink that really deepened my
spirituality.
And the way that I um expressthat is through deep connection
(02:18):
with my environment, with theearth, with the ocean, with my
surroundings, with community andfilling every moment I can get
with love.
When I wake up in the morningand somebody asks me how I am, I
say unbelievable because I'mabove ground and I don't take
that for granted.
So that's that's getting intoit a little bit.
There's some teasers in thereas well.
(02:40):
And then I think you asked me adouble question also to
introduce myself.
And I think one of the bestways to do that and connect with
your audience is to say thatI'm first and foremost a father,
a single father to two of themost incredible twin boys on
this planet.
They were born in India in NewDelhi.
(03:02):
I've been raising them on myown since the day that they were
born.
And so, number one, imaginedoing that.
And then number two, imaginethat they're six and just
turning seven years old, andyour doctor diagnoses you with
advanced cancer.
And you need to sit them down.
(03:23):
Have a very sober discussionwith two little peanuts who you
who you love and who you don'tknow whether you will get the
gift of being able to watch themgrow up.
And so I'll leave that outthere, but we can explore it
more.
So that's that's who I am, andthat really transformed and
changed my life and brought meinto what I'm doing today, which
(03:45):
is I do uh leadership coachingfor high-tech executives in
Silicon Valley.
Um, I have I'd say that I havemore women clients than I do
men.
They seek me out, I believe,because they want that male
perspective of really how thegame works from the inside
within Silicon Valley.
It's predominantly male-runindustry, although less so
(04:09):
nowadays.
And some of the bosses that Ihad in my couple of decades-long
experience in Silicon Valleywere women, and they were
probably the best um coaches,mentors, leaders that I've ever
experienced for a number ofreasons.
I can get into that later aswell, too.
But so now I am a leadershipcoach for those people, and then
also I run boutiquepersonalized retreats in Carmel,
(04:32):
California, which is prettymuch the most incredible place.
Comparable maybe in the UnitedStates to Florence or Paris
without going out of state.
So we can cover a bit of thatas well, too.
But just so happy to be here.
Joya (04:49):
Oh my gosh.
I am so happy you're here.
And I'm like, okay, what's thespring-off point here?
Because there's so manywonderful places we can go.
And I think the first and mostobvious one is the cancer
diagnosis and that descent intoyourself.
I imagine that sent you into adeep place.
Barry (05:09):
Yeah, a deep place.
But interestingly, it was likea really a space filled with
light.
And so um I had been, my motherhad just passed away, and I was
at her funeral with family, andI had some swollen glands that
hadn't gone away for a couple ofmonths.
And so I got some encouragementto have them checked out.
(05:31):
My when I did, my doctor said,Oh, you've been sick, and you
know, but let's just have itchecked out for sure by a
specialist.
So I went to see a specialist,and she walked in the room, she
says, How are your swollenglands?
She felt my neck and she becamevery serious instantly, and she
said, She literally said, Oh,this is this is very serious.
(05:55):
And she says, If this is what Ithink it is, um, you won't be
able to get out of bed if youmake it.
And you will be in feedingtubes for the next six to nine
months.
And I said, No, wait a second.
I I have two little kids whoare just turned seven years old.
Um and she started takingbiopsies from me right there in
(06:16):
the office.
And then when she was done, shewalked me over to the CT scan
department holding my hand,walked up to the desk, and she
said, put him first in line.
So as you can imagine, I wasprocessing a lot at that point.
Um I called my sisters and Isaid, Listen, I think this
(06:39):
oncologist thinks that I havecancer.
And my sister's like, Okay,let's figure this out.
And the oncologist turned to meand she said, I want you to
start putting together yourfriends and family network.
And I said, Do you think thatwe should wait for the um scans
to come back?
And she says, No, I want you tostart it today.
So a lot of things were goingthrough my head.
(07:04):
Um yet at the same time, when Iheard her saying things like,
You're not gonna be able to getout of bed for six to nine
months, you'll be on feedingtubes.
My brain said, Bullshit, I am.
I don't know what your podcastis rated, but um, I I just said,
That's not me.
I said, That's not gonna happento me.
(07:24):
And she says, Yes, it will.
And I said, But you don't knowme.
And she says, I've treated alot of people for this.
And so I said, Well, youhaven't treated me.
And something in me, it's notlike I was trying to be
(07:45):
belligerent or you know,oppositional.
I really just felt like I'm ona mission.
I have two kids to raise, I'mtheir only parent.
I do want to watch them growup.
I want to see my grandkids.
I have a full life that I'mgonna live.
And um I went home and Istarted so many things.
(08:06):
I radically changed my diet.
I deepened my spirituality.
I threw rocks off of clifftops,I screamed into the sky, I went
through deep hypnosis, I I hada fairly rare form of cancer,
and I went out and I found fivepeople who had survived my type
of cancer, and I made them myposse.
(08:28):
And I said, What do I do?
I hired a nutritionist.
Um, so I did a lot, right?
I I read incredible books.
I the very next day I happenedto speak to somebody who was um
a radiologist, and he says, Hey,read this book, it'll change
your life.
I got it.
I recommend it to my guests nowwho come to Carmel for Healing.
Joya (08:49):
What was the book?
Barry (08:50):
It's called Love, Medicine and Miracles.
The people who believe thatthey will overcome whatever
illness they have will.
And in that book, you can readit says, if you're diagnosed
even with pancreatic cancer, oneof the deadliest forms of
cancers, which has, I think, youknow, a 5% survival rate or 95%
that you'll be gone with infive years.
(09:13):
Somebody's got to be in that5%.
Why can't it be you, right?
Joya (09:20):
Wow.
And it sounds like from theget-go, your attitude was, I'm
going to live.
And you started doing thingsthat were life-affirming and
life-giving and contributing toyour wellness.
Barry (09:29):
I did.
Joya (09:29):
Yeah.
Rather than going and planningfor dying, you started planning
for living.
Barry (09:34):
I did some of that too.
I had to be practical.
Yeah.
Right.
Joya (09:37):
Yeah.
Barry (09:37):
You get your trust in order, you make arrangements for
you know, the worst case.
But in my mind, when I heardher saying you won't be able to
get out of bed for six to ninemonths, I said, no, I'm going to
be running up and down mystairs every day doing cardio
sprints.
And I'll tell you too, like,I'm six feet tall and I was down
(09:59):
to 130 some odd pounds.
I lost 50 pounds.
I couldn't swallow for months.
I was Ubering myself to theemergency room every day to get,
you know, water transfusion,water infusions so that I just I
wouldn't dehydrate.
Um, and I said, but I'm notgoing on feeding tubes.
And I could not get food down,and I was losing a pound and a
(10:20):
half a day.
And I just gathered my posse offriends together and and we
figured out how am I going toget food in?
And we brainstormed and we andwe did it.
It was a team.
I believe that healing comesthrough team and community and
people who care about and loveyou.
Um, but feel free to ask mesome other questions because
(10:41):
I'm, you know, I could just keepit.
Joya (10:42):
Oh no, it's so it's it's fascinating.
And how long ago was thatdiagnosis?
And are you in remission now?
Barry (10:48):
So so I'm no, I'm not in remission, I'm cured, which is
really pretty spectacular.
So I went from advanced cancerto my oncologist saying, Hey
Barry, you are miraculouslycured two years later.
And he just said, Your canceris not coming back.
Get out of here.
I don't want to see you again.
You don't need to do any morescans.
And I was like, because I wasprepared to be doing my scans
(11:11):
for the next five years.
So I'm seven years out at thispoint.
I still run up and down mystairs for my cardiac friends.
I do rowing machine, I do myworkout every morning, I eat all
the broccoli I can find.
So I do all those things.
And I've now figured out whatsome of those elements of my
healing are, and I don't reallycall it healing or surviving, I
(11:34):
call it thriving.
If you set your mind onthriving and having a great
life, which I think we all wantto do, then that's really our
goal.
And that's my mission now tohelp others do that too.
My mission is to help otherpeople thrive.
Joya (11:51):
And you're living such a beautiful life and where you
live and the work that you'redoing now, and this beautiful
space that you have.
So, how long have you ownedthat?
And what was your transitioninto like this is what I want to
do, along with of course thehigh performance coaching that
you're doing?
Barry (12:06):
So, so number one, I mean, this this background
behind me is Carmel.
I mean, these these gardensI've planted, I planted them
when I was at the height of myrecovery and going through
cancer, putting these like AMinto the ground, planting
Japanese maples, just a windingpathway through the gardens,
things like that.
I just found that that touchingthe earth was part of my
(12:28):
healing process.
So those, let's see, if mydiagnosis was about seven years
ago, I bought the property rightafter the boys were born as
part of their college phone.
I thought, okay, I'll buy this,I'll sell it when they go to
college.
So I bought it, they're 13 now,teens, and I bought it, I'm
gonna say 12 years ago.
So when they were less lessthan a year old, and I thought,
(12:51):
I want to raise my kids going tothe ocean in Carmel.
And so where I live in SiliconValley, I live down the block
from Netflix, Apple's spaceshipheadquarters is five minutes
away, eBay's headquarters isfive-minute drive.
So I'm right in the heart ofSilicon Valley, and you go about
an hour over the Santa CruzMountains to Carmel, and then
(13:12):
you're just in this little tinykind of lost enclave that not
not every not so many peopleknow about, but the ones who do,
like they they never want toleave.
Joya (13:22):
I love it there, right?
Barry (13:24):
So I thought if I could ever own a home there, I would
need to pinch myself.
And I searched for one forthree years.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Wow.
Barry (13:32):
Which, as I dig into more and more of its history, it is
one of the I think originalhomes in Carmel.
It predates the fairy taleComstock cottages.
Joya (13:44):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Barry (13:45):
Think of as Carmel.
Um, this one was built in 1923,two years before the first
Comstock cottage.
Joya (13:51):
Oh my gosh, could you imagine what it must have looked
like there when that home wasbuilt?
And oh, can you even pictureit?
Barry (13:57):
It's hard to picture it.
It's very, very rustic.
And if we have time later, Ican talk about how I've been
digging into the history of thiscottage.
It was the first of all, thewoman who built this cottage a
hundred little over a hundredyears ago, she bought 16 lots in
downtown Carmel.
She bought them, I think, for$5 a piece.
(14:18):
And now they would be worth $2million a piece of six.
About $30 some odd milliondollars.
So I bought my lot from hergranddaughter, who was 96 or 94
years old.
Joya (14:29):
Wow.
Barry (14:30):
Yeah, so I'm the second owner buying it from the
original family who owned it.
And so I figured I considermyself a steward of this
property.
I invite people here now forhealing.
But but two things.
One is Eliza, who built thecottage.
I think she's maybe one of thefirst feminists of our country.
She was a school.
(14:51):
I was gonna say English, rodearound Kentucky on horseback,
finding women who wanted to readliterature with her.
She moved to Carmel, became anEnglish teacher.
And I believe, because there'sa historian who stayed in my
cottage and started digging intothe history, that Eliza may
(15:12):
have been one of those peoplewho had the original salons in
downtown Carmel during theheyday of its art scene.
And wow.
Not just healing.
(15:51):
Again, healing is surviving,experiencing joy and romance is
really thriving.
So I agree.
Joya (15:59):
Even self-romance.
Like I always I buy myselfflowers all the time.
I'm just I love to surroundmyself in beauty.
I just feel like that's such animportant aspect of um healing
and wellness and thriving, likeyou said, is I feel like it's
the it's one of the uniquethings about being a human that
we intentionally create beauty.
Barry (16:18):
Yeah, it's really true.
And I think when you are alongthe ocean or hiking through the
redwood forests of Big Sur thatare just so majestic, and you're
surrounded by it, you feelshrouded in beauty.
You feel part of somethinglarge and incredible and
(16:43):
beautiful.
It makes you feel beautiful,and it's really an incredible
experience.
Joya (16:49):
So beautiful.
And for people listening tothis podcast on audio, it might
be one that you might want towatch on YouTube because I will
actually drop in some photos ofyour property and um beautiful
images of Carmel.
I think it's just one of themost phenomenally beautiful
places I've ever been.
I really do love it there.
Barry (17:07):
I I guess tell me that.
I mean, they say that they havea wonderful experience at the
cottage, um, but I believe thatCarmel does all the heavy
lifting for me.
So I have um I have a a women,a woman couple at the cottage
right now.
They're they're celebrating ananniversary, and they today are
(17:28):
driving down Highway One to BigSur in their convertible,
listening to their favoritetunes.
And if you can just imaginethat, and I've sent them to one
of my favorite places, which iscalled Nepanthe.
It's one of the 1960srestaurants on a cliff top with
just the most incredible view ofthe Pacific Ocean.
You have a spiritualexperience, even if you're just
(17:49):
eating a burger and fries anddrinking a beer there.
It like it's incredible.
Joya (17:53):
I love that you just said that because I feel like you
know, that's part of my missionand what I'm starting to grow
into and what I'm like, what amI, what's my soul here for?
And after going through, youknow, going to those depths of
the underworld and resurfacing,and it's like, okay, what's what
is asking to be created fromthis?
And it's really, you don't haveto go to an ashram, you don't
(18:14):
have to go to temples, you don'thave to go far overseas.
Like the sacred is right whereyou are in your everyday life.
The spiritual is all aroundyou.
And when you have that, it'slike an attitude that you
cultivate, right?
And how to live your life thatway.
Barry (18:29):
So so many thoughts are going through my head, but but
as I was going through cancer, Iremember um my senses became
really highly heightened.
My sense of smell was becamelike I could smell jasmine
blooming from two blocks downthe street where I didn't see
(18:51):
them around me.
I would be walking two blockslater, I'd come upon them.
It was like, wow, I what'sgoing on?
I've heard of women having whatis it called, like pregnant
nose.
I can't remember.
Joya (19:00):
Yes, I had that when I was pregnant.
Barry (19:01):
Yeah, smelling like a dog.
Colors became vibrant.
I wasn't on any meds at thispoint.
Joya (19:09):
I know exactly what was happening.
This is interesting.
Barry (19:11):
Okay, yeah.
So it was me just embracinglife.
That's the way I took it, andyou have a sense, you became a
very heightened awareness ofyou're alive, and everything
around you becomes so deeplybeautiful that the most common
things to you become beautiful.
And I I remember being in theback of an Uber on one of my
(19:35):
many rides to the hospital andblasting um ACDC thunderstruck
through my headphones, becausethat's like one of my rally cry
songs.
I've I've looked it up.
I've I've heard that the thephrase, the title, and the song
itself means absolutely nothing.
It's just like this hard rocksong that for me was about
embracing life.
And I was looking out thewindow, there was the um the
(19:58):
track team running down thestreet, running, and everything
was in slow motion for me.
And I'm listening to thisthunderstruck, and I'm looking
at people doing something assimple as running and knowing
that just think if I ever get tothe point where I can walk and
just run again, I will be sothankful.
But everything just becamebeautiful.
(20:19):
So for people who aren't quitethere yet, who haven't had
necessarily that spiritualjourney, I think you'll have one
if you come to Carmel.
In fact, I guarantee it.
Absolutely.
If you come to Carmel for aweek, you won't leave unless
you're spiritually changed.
And um, and without like I I Ihave never done Ashwagandha, no
(20:41):
judgment.
I I'm not a fan, call me oldfashioned.
I don't like vomiting forwhatever reason.
And you will believe you willhave a spiritual experience in
Carmel.
Joya (20:53):
Yeah.
Barry (20:54):
A week longer there.
Joya (20:56):
And I know for people listening, they're gonna say,
Oh, he meant ayahuasca.
So I will say, I did.
I knew what you meant, and Iknew that you knew what you
meant, but I could see it in thecomments too.
Like, what is he meansayahuasca?
Yes, he meant ayahuasca.
Barry (21:06):
I do.
Because I'm a fan ofAshwaganda.
I do take it.
Joya (21:10):
Yes, exactly.
That he does take.
And I um neither have I.
I've never been called to themother to go and do have that
experience.
But I think what you're sharingwith me is so fascinating right
now because it to me, it's likea confirmation of um, I've been
doing a ton of deep researchabout grief or loss.
(21:30):
So when you're going into lossand you're experiencing grief
and what it does to your mind,what it does to your brain, and
it unplugs the part of yourbrain that's your default mode
network, which is your real,your core sense of identity, and
it actually maps like a brainon psychedelics, which is
fascinating.
So time slows down, the colorsare heightened, like every
experience of your life isheightened, including the pain.
(21:52):
And so that's why thisintentional participation in
your own process that you'regoing through, and it sounds
like you were a high or are ahighly conscious human being,
that you had that wherewithal toconsciously work with your own
experiences you were having.
And I just think it's sobeautiful.
And for you, you're sharingthat.
(22:14):
I'm like, yeah, this is thethis is the experience and the
opportunity, if you will, thatI'm like, this is what the
creator wired within us, thatour hardest times of our life
can also become the route, thedoor, the pathway that open up
to creating even more beauty andprofound ways of being and
(22:36):
living highly conscious statesin our life if we allow it and
go into it.
Barry (22:41):
I just want to let that sink in for everybody.
First of all, thank you.
Yeah, for sharing that.
It's absolutely true.
I also want to say, though,that despite feeling spiritual
prior to my diagnosis, um, Ihave a monkey mind, right?
It jumps all over the place.
(23:01):
My background is in productdesign.
I'm always coming up with newideas.
I love being in high tech, Ilove coming up with new ideas.
Very, very hard for me toaccess that voice within and
connect with my higher self.
So I want to put that out therefor your guests too, who also
might have trouble accessingthat, but that's what we really
want to connect with.
And some people that I'vetalked to have tried it, they'd
(23:22):
be like, well, I can't sitstill, I can't clear my mind,
and things like that.
Well, either could I.
And so part of it is just spendmore time at it.
I don't know if there's anyparticular trick.
There might be things that youuse.
There has been a meditationthat I've found, and I think
that's different for everybodythat certain meditations for me,
(23:43):
it was one where it actuallywalks me through steps of
clearing my mind and then helpsme plant seeds in my third eye.
And then that gets me to apoint of connection.
So I'd say, once what do whatyou need to do to get to that
point of connection.
For me, it was that particularmeditation.
I keep it on my desktop, I canuse it whenever I need it.
(24:04):
I meditate twice a day.
But when you're in that stateand you're connected, you hear
the voice.
And when I say the voice, maybeit's not somebody talking to
you, because I was like, wait,wait, is the voice of God going
to talk?
And what is what is what doesthe voice sound like?
Well, for me, it's more of afeeling and an intuition, and
(24:24):
it's located at some point in mybody.
So people might feel it thatway too.
But it's a signal, right?
It's a message, and you learnto follow it and follow your
instinct.
Joya (24:34):
Yeah, it's a frequency that we tune into, that we're
wired to be receivers, right?
That we're tuning into thisfrequency.
And um, you do need to comewith a you create that coherence
within yourself to receive acoherent signal.
You yourself need to becoherent.
And that was one of the thingsthat I noticed because my mind
is the same way.
It's very busy.
I'm a very creative person.
So I'm always like, uh, I'm oneof those people who's like, oh,
(24:57):
peanut butter, here's somepeanut butter, here's some
chocolate.
How do they work together?
My brain is always doing that.
And uh I noticed that when Iwent into acute grief, that it
felt like a whole forest ofmonkeys.
Before I had monkey mind, andit felt like a whole forest of
monkeys had been released in mymind.
And I found that it was throughum moving my body.
For me, it became verymovement-oriented that I just
(25:20):
started walking a lot in thedesert, even though it was hot.
Even then, I still would getout and walk and not bring my
phone undistracted and just bewith that, noticing it, noticing
it, noticing it, breathing.
And then I found a fantasticmeditation.
So, like you said, I'm also anavid meditator and have been for
years.
But I used to do vipassanameditation, which is just
(25:40):
insight noticing.
So when you have a forest ofmonkeys in your mind, that
noticing was not helpful.
It drove me bonkers.
And I found this meditationprocess where you simply inhale
for six, exhale, inhale for fiveor six, depending on your
breathing patterns.
But inhale for five and youexhale for six, or inhale for
(26:00):
six and exhale for seven.
So it's one count longer, andyou don't pause.
So you just keep breathing likethat in that rhythm.
And I found within 10 minutesmy mind would just be quiet.
Barry (26:12):
I think there are a number of tools out there, and
we need to find the ones thatwork for us.
Yes.
And so maybe that's anothermessage to people, which is hey,
if this is working for Julie,then it's, but it's not working
for me.
Find something else, right?
Which is why I was like, okay,I'm gonna try everything.
Yeah, I tried the acupuncture,that did not work for me.
(26:34):
I was like, hmm, what's wrong?
I tried it again, did not workfor me.
I tried sound healing.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yep.
Barry (26:38):
I went blind in one eye for the next two hours.
I was like, okay, I'm nottrying that again.
I'm very susceptible.
I think to hypnosis and sounds,but it had an adverse uh effect
on me.
Joya (26:49):
I love that you said that because I'm a sound healer and I
say that.
I'm like, that's true.
Barry (26:53):
And you do what?
Joya (26:54):
I'm a sound healer.
That's my trade.
And has anybody ever had thatthat I've had some interesting
experiences, and it's usuallywhen someone's in acute trauma
or they're very sensitive tovibration.
And so I will always say, ifyou feel or and I like to find
out what's going on with peopletoo, because there are other
sounds like gongs or Tibetanbulls or even crystal bulls can
(27:16):
be very activating for peoplethat it's so it's not
necessarily better for whateverthey're going through, where
they might need more strings orjust a gentle, steady drum
rhythm and a humming voice.
Like there's so many differentways to go about it.
But yeah, there are counter,I'm glad you said that because
there are um, you know, counter,what's the word I'm looking
for?
(27:36):
You know, where you're whereit's not healthy for you to
watch out for.
And I'm sorry you had thatexperience.
Oh my gosh.
Barry (27:42):
Well, I'll tell you, at the time it was pretty
incredible.
And like I said, when I when Iwent into hypnosis, separate
from the sound healing, but whenI found somebody who's really
good at hypnosis, I think I wasout within seconds.
And in that space ofconnection, I was talking with
my mother at that point, saying,Hey, just let me live.
You know what?
I have my own little kids toraise and just let me stay here.
(28:03):
I'll join you later.
I love you.
When I did the sound healing, Iwas seeing psychedelics within
a few moments.
And I was saying, wow, I'm in areally good space.
It was when she started tobring me out of it that I was
like, okay, I can see throughone eye now, but what's going on
with what's going on with myother eye?
(28:25):
And then, and then, and it was,I was fully recovered after
maybe two or three hours,something like that.
But I had to drive home.
So I just like say, okay, I'llwait before I get in a car.
Things like that.
So the I think the message isfind, find what works for you.
How find what brings thosemessages to you.
How do you connect with thosevibrations?
(28:46):
Right.
So when we talk aboutconnecting, we throw up blocks
every day, every moment thatkeep us from connecting, right?
And so how do we overcome thoseblocks too?
Joya (29:04):
Maybe I'll I think now is a good a good time to branch
into the coaching aspect ofthings, and which, you know,
talking about leadership andthose blocks are your
resistance, right?
That are coming up withinyourself.
So, how do you work with womenwho encounter those big
resistances, those big blocks?
(29:25):
That's a question.
And then I have anotherquestion I want to ask you, but
oh, wait.
Barry (29:29):
Okay, all right.
Well, I'll jump in with thatone then.
Um, yeah, because I mentioned Ido work with um a number of
leaders in Silicon Valley.
Um one, she's she's one of theexecutives.
I'm gonna say the top one ofthe top three most valuable
companies in the world.
So the people that I get towork with, they're they're
(29:51):
executives, but then I also workwith people who are, you know,
frontline managers or individualcontributors, things like that.
But this one woman, she's amakamaka and She's got a team of
a few hundred people.
And I remember she's she wasvery, very competent, very
bright, you know, driven, veryaccomplished and good at what
(30:15):
she does.
And she was invited to be onstage with some peers and names
that you would recognize thatare in the news every day.
And we had our coachingsession, and she was saying, Why
am I up there?
Is it because was I chosen?
I'm the only woman on thatpanel.
Was it was I chosen because Iwas a woman?
(30:36):
Was I chosen um because um, youknow, my cultural difference
from them, was it beingtokenized, things like this?
And I said, If if you have, Isaid, number one, those are
blocks right there, right?
Because she has something tocontribute and she's incredible.
We all feel this impostersyndrome, even the brightest,
(30:56):
most accomplished people, maybeeven more, right?
So I said, if you're in yourhead thinking about what people
are gonna think of you in thataudience, your head is in the
wrong space right now.
You've been given a gift.
There are women in thataudience right now who see you
as a role model and think backto when you were in that
(31:18):
audience looking up at thatwoman saying, I want to be like
her.
I said, You've been given agift right now to share some of
your gifts, and you're notdelivering anything.
It's coming through you, andyou've just been given a gift to
deliver something and share itwith these people.
I again, not you're notdelivering something, you're
(31:40):
sharing it.
If you get in that mindset thatyou're sharing and you're not
taking something, it unblocksyou right then and there.
That's just one thing thatanybody can do.
If they're stuck on something,I say, how is it that you're
sharing something right now withsomebody else in a way that
allows you to give a gift?
Joya (32:01):
That allows you to give a gift.
Barry (32:04):
Right.
Joya (32:04):
Give a gift that's the key.
Barry (32:06):
To others and yourself.
I'm a big believer.
Like I believe people shouldmake as much money and be as
rich as they possibly can in away so they can have greater
impact and do more, right?
I've coached a guy over thecourse of two years, and he had
a hundred thousand dollarsalary, coached him for two
years, and he's earning close totwo million dollars and he is
in his mid-30s.
Joya (32:26):
Wow.
Barry (32:27):
So I have nothing against receiving for yourself too, as
long as you're doing it in a waythat allows you to share more
and have greater impact withothers.
Joya (32:35):
100% sacred reciprocity, right?
And those people are makingmore of an impact.
Good people do good things withtheir money.
I'm like, money is neutral,it's a feminine energy, but it's
neutral, kind of like thecreative forces that we all work
within is neutral, you know.
So and I feel like money's thesame, it passes through us, it
passes through us, and whoever'sthe mechanism of expression is
(32:57):
what's being expressed, andmoney is the same.
Yeah.
Barry (33:00):
Yeah.
Joya (33:01):
Yeah.
Barry (33:02):
And one of the fastest ways to open up those money
blocks too is to give it away.
Joya (33:06):
Give your money away.
Barry (33:08):
Give your money away.
What will unblock it fasterthan giving away some chunk of
money that's scary or painfulfor you?
unknown (33:15):
Yeah.
Joya (33:16):
I, you know, that I love that because I was at a charity
event uh a couple of weeks agoand I was sitting there and they
were they had this really funauctioneer guy come, an official
one.
And I was like, oh, I've neverbeen in an official auction
where he's like auctioning andthere's people, he has his
people out there that are likeyelling and pointing.
And I was like, this is reallyfun.
And I had this nudge to make abig donation out of my comfort
zone.
(33:36):
And I was like, okay, you toldme to do it, I'll do it.
And so when he got to thatnumber, I raised my little
number up and he's like pointedat me, and I was like, okay,
it's done.
But it's but it came throughwith an energy of uh sacred
reciprocity.
Like there was it was such ajoy in giving in listening to
that message and then in doingit.
Yes.
(33:56):
That I said, Well, who, youknow, when you do that, you open
up those channels forreceiving.
Barry (34:02):
That's exactly right.
It just immediately removes theblock, it makes you feel good
that you've done something.
And for the people who say,Well, I don't have any money to
give away, let's wait till Ihave a little bit more money or
I'm wealthy and things likethat.
Don't wait.
Because think about this.
You want to give away somethingthat feels uncomfortable for
you.
If you're wealthy, that's a biglot of money.
Yeah.
You don't have that much, youcan give away some bit that
(34:26):
feels uncomfortable.
It's a smaller amount.
But it's that it's the it's thepiece of giving away some
amount that feels a little bituncomfortable for you, maybe a
little bit scary, that's gonnahelp unblock that and get more
money to flow back in.
Joya (34:39):
Yeah, and you know, I did that too.
I think I've just always when Ihit that, you hear that nudge,
I'll do it.
And it's been as simple asbeing so broke that I had five
dollars, I was gonna go get acoffee.
And instead of buying thecoffee for myself, I heard give
it to that guy on the corner.
And I'm like, okay.
So, like those kinds of thingswhere it's uh it's a stretch,
but listen.
Barry (35:00):
Yeah, yeah, and I think the other piece that I'm hearing
as you're saying that is thoseare nudges in your column,
right?
But those are the voices, thoseare the messages.
Yes, and so when we talk aboutbeing blocked, the messages are
coming at us all the time,they're all around us.
unknown (35:14):
Yes.
Barry (35:14):
And when we say, Hey, please send me a message,
they're there.
Joya (35:18):
Like, not that one.
Barry (35:21):
Well, sometimes we get reminders, right?
When we say, Hey, please giveme more money, we get a
reminder, oh, I'll show you toappreciate money.
I'll show you to appreciatewhat you already have.
I will take money away fromyou.
That can happen too.
That's like a lesson.
We get lessons instead ofgifts, but those are messages
too.
Joya (35:39):
Well, let's talk about that from a, you know, from a
leadership standpoint and thework that you're doing, because
obviously you're a very valued,wise guide for people who are
really in positions of impactand power, but that's a really
high level that people get toalready.
Do you find that it does notmatter what level you get to?
You still meet these same kindsof resistances as the human
(36:02):
nature and they just get biggerin scale, or are they the same
kind of things that everybodymeets everywhere all the time?
Barry (36:09):
So the answer is actually both.
So we all have these limitingbeliefs, right?
We we're not always aware ofthem or we haven't characterized
them yet.
So we don't know how to betuned into them, recognize them
for what they are.
Um, what I find is with whenI'm working with somebody who's
an individual contributor ormanager, director level person,
they're kind of going throughthe ropes of becoming a leader
(36:31):
for the first time, um, andthey're learning how to inspire
others, which is nobody everteaches us how to do that,
right?
And so that's what I'll spendthe bulk of my coaching sessions
on for somebody at that level.
Those are certain tools that Iwould use at that level, and
they're different for somebodywho I would use who's a like a C
level executive or I also coachCEO startups of companies.
(36:54):
There, it's a lot more in yourhead, in your heart, and
connecting with your higherself.
The tools are are different.
If I started talking aboutconnecting with your higher self
to somebody who's a directorand wants, you know, a tricky
employee to listen to theirdirection better, it's not the
right fit yet.
They haven't their vessel's notbig enough.
(37:16):
Let's put it that way.
Yes.
We all have vessels for for forreceiving wisdom.
And what we don't want is morewisdom to come at us than we
have vessel to receive it.
Joya (37:28):
Absolutely.
Barry (37:29):
Our vessel breaks.
Joya (37:31):
Yeah, let's let that land for a second because that was a
very wise thing to say.
And let and that's the propprocess of this growth in the
entrusting yourself and takingthese risks and moving beyond
your limitations, is that youexpand that capacity to hold
that light, to listen to thosedownloads and take action.
Barry (37:50):
Exactly.
And so, how do we communicatethat or vocalize it or wish for
that?
For me, it's I I pray to thelight that my vessel will be
expanded so that I can attractmore light into it.
If we're feeling that we needto grow, right?
Joya (38:10):
So and a note of caution, listeners, when you say that
kind of prayer and you really,really mean it, be prepared for
all of the stuff you're doingthat's in your own way to reveal
itself to you.
Yeah.
Barry (38:24):
Which can feel negative.
It can feel negative whilewe're going through cleansing.
It can manifest as what'sseeming what feels like very
negative.
Joya (38:33):
It's like I was praying for the light.
Why are all these problemshappening?
And it's like because thelight's revealing to you what
your shadows are casting.
Barry (38:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're lessons for us tomove and grow through.
And if we don't learn thoselessons, they revisit.
Joya (38:48):
How do you teach people to look at everything as a lesson
versus something happening toyou?
Barry (38:56):
So I'm, you know, every I think there are coaches who
have, you know, their setmarketed tool chest of tools
that they'll bring out indifferent situations.
And I do have a toolkit ofdifferent things, but I don't
have a prescribed path that I'mgoing to take people on a
particular journey.
I feel it's very, veryindividual.
(39:18):
I have a backlog of people onmy waiting list.
I work with a few number ofpeople.
Um, I feel each person isunique and different.
And so it's very tailored tothem.
And so it really depends onthat individual.
I I don't want to be evasive inany way, but also there are
tools that we were just talkingabout on this podcast just now
(39:40):
that wouldn't be appropriate foreverybody depending upon their
level of development.
Joya (39:44):
It's true.
Yeah, it's very true.
Yeah.
Barry (39:47):
So um, gosh, this is a disappointing answer, I guess.
I guess the tools I would useto help them build teams,
certain tools to help themcommunicate better, others to
help them inspire, but thenothers to help them work through
blockages and to connect andreally get amped up to find
their true purpose in theirhigher self.
Joya (40:09):
Do you find that there is a process of evolution that
happens before somebody gets tothat level of capacity where
they're ready to open up andallow their higher self to live
through them?
Barry (40:21):
Well, it's a good thing that I'm on this podcast today
because I have never thoughtabout it as an evolution.
And this is this gets to be myown learn learning.
So, what what journey am Itaking people on?
I know that uh work withpeople, you know, sometimes um
uh let's say it might be sixmonths, other times it could be
(40:42):
two years and beyond, right?
So there must be some evolutionhappening there, and clearly, I
mean they grow.
They I don't know that I'veever worked with anybody who
hasn't gotten, you know, apromotion in their company
within the first year of workingwith me.
Some have gotten two promotionswithin a single year.
There obviously large shiftsand changes in their in their
(41:04):
salary and things like that.
So there's there's definitelyan evolution in a career
trajectory.
Um, is there an evolution inthem growing as a person, being
open and so forth?
To be honest, I don't tell themthat I'm gonna take you on a
spiritual journey.
I do talk about things likeexpanding your vessel.
I tell them about receivingmore light, I say being open to
(41:26):
more, but I also say things likewe work so that we can connect
with people and enjoy ourfamilies and our life, not the
other way around.
To me, that's very spiritual,but I don't connect it.
I don't say, oh, this is myspiritual belief, and I'm
sharing it with you.
I think that's very basic,right?
We connect with people, weenjoy the company of friends and
(41:48):
family.
And I have clients who havegrown in ways where they have
then gotten married, startedfamilies, have two children,
bought a house over the courseof a couple of years of working
together, right?
So there's an evolution therein that sense.
Joya (42:03):
Yeah.
unknown (42:03):
Yeah.
Barry (42:04):
And then I think certainly there's an evolution
in terms of um, you know, whatthey're open to, I think
receiving to.
Joya (42:12):
Yeah, I'm hearing it as that increase in capacity is the
increase for goodness in theworld coming in through you and
how you're living your life.
And that definitely impactspeople, right?
It's like when you go, Ithought about this the other
morning when I was walking and Ithought, you know, it's as
simple, we overcomplicate it.
And it's really as simple as mypurpose is when I go to Target,
(42:34):
I show up as love for thecashier, I treat her with
kindness, maybe make her laughor smile.
And when I leave, the nextperson who comes in is some guy
who's a tech billionaire who'sgot his mind preoccupied on this
deal that he needs, although hewouldn't be shopping at Target,
but let's just use it.
Everybody shops at Target.
But she treats him withkindness now, which shifts his
(42:57):
attitude that he goes out intothe world and does this thing.
So it's like this these bigripples get created in the world
of which we have no noknowledge, right?
And it's none of it's reallynone of our business, but it is
to show up in our highestcapacity of our own light and
our own love and our owngoodness and kindness in how
we're treating other people inthe world.
Barry (43:18):
Yeah, it's absolutely true.
I find just building on whatyou just brought up, I find if
you know it's so American.
Oh, hi, how are you?
How is your day?
Yes, they don't care.
And I'm gonna say it's fine.
Go on.
So, what I started doing overthe past few years is the
cashier asks me, How are youdoing?
(43:38):
And I say, unbelievable.
There are very few who are belike, Oh, that sounds terrible.
What happened?
What went wrong, right?
It'll tell you right away.
Most of them feel inspired byit.
They either start laughing orthey feel happy.
And once we're in a mode offeeling and expressing joy, that
(44:00):
opens us up to right there.
We are meant to live livesfilled with joy.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Yes.
Barry (44:06):
Right.
We talked about other ways ofunblocking yourself.
Do something that makes youlaugh, fill yourself with joy.
You're gonna be open to moremessages right around you.
You'll be able to see thembetter.
Joya (44:14):
It's so true.
It is so true.
Oh my gosh.
And my question that I wantedto ask you about uh working with
women in leadership positionsin Silicon Valley and in big,
you know, big corporationsmaking big impacts in the world.
Do you find that there is, andeven with men, is there a rise
from your perspective in morefeminine qualities of
(44:35):
leadership?
Barry (44:37):
What was the word you said?
Joya (44:38):
Is there a rise in the yeah, a rise in the in the less?
So what I'm I think what I'mgetting at is like less of the
um that hardcore masculinehustle culture that's you know,
that used to be just so you bumpup.
It feels like it used to belike, and I lived worked in
corporate America, and it feltlike a bumping up against
everything all the time, versusthe feminine nature is more flow
(45:01):
and open and receptive.
Barry (45:03):
And so I'm just curious if you've noticed a difference
in leadership types and if wellI can I can say what's made some
of the women leaders that I'veserved on their teams, what I've
noticed about them, what whattheir superpowers are.
And and it's not exclusive towomen because well, I'll just
I'll I'll just tell you like thewomen they are much in in
(45:26):
general tend to be much bettercommunicators and more authentic
right off the bat, right?
Yep, they right.
Um, so um we want empathy inour role as leaders, and if
you're a woman and you'reexpressing empathy, it can be
seen as weakness.
So that's one thing to watchout for the women leaders that I
served under, they weren'tweak.
(45:47):
I mean, to be a leader inSilicon Valley, you're not weak.
Right.
You've gotten where you arebecause you're strong and you
know what you're doing andyou're a mover.
Um, but I've found what theirreal superpower is, is the
ability to show upauthentically, to, you know, if
they're if they're let's say notthe greatest presenter, own it,
(46:07):
work through it, build it.
I'll coach you through that.
Um you know, people wantauthenticity and they want
somebody who um uh isn't asafraid to speak their mind.
That's the other thing.
As a person on a woman's team,whether it's the woman leader, I
knew what she was thinking.
I don't always feel that waywith dudes, right?
(46:30):
We right.
That said, um there was a VP atone of the companies at eBay.
I was one of the design leadersat eBay, the VP that we had
right there, he was a dude andhe was unbelievable.
He was empathic, incrediblecommunicator, leader, driver,
super creative, everything.
So it's not exclusive to womenand something that's I think
coachable in men, but we tend tosee it showing up more in
(46:53):
women.
Joya (46:54):
Yeah, and I think that was really the what I meant by that
question was when with feminineleadership is not not always
women.
It's also men who know how toportray those kinds of things,
the empathy and the you know,it's interesting because I was
just reading a paper and all theresearch I'm doing that women,
you know, men, it's themasculine tendency for fight or
flight, and women's naturaltendency is tend and befriend.
(47:16):
So we're more of, and that'swhy more women go to the fawn
rather than fight or flight,where the masculine trait is
more fight or flight.
And so I think it's interestingthat for women, for women, the
natural ability is tend andbefriend.
And if you can do that toyourself first, then you can
definitely have the capacity toshow up like that for other
people.
Barry (47:37):
That's that's true.
I think another thing that I'venoticed is not necessarily
about the leaders, but it's likeas I've been a hiring manager
myself and trying to hirepeople, I've noticed that the
women will show up to theinterviews under um under
expressing their powers.
And I don't know they'reintentionally saying, Oh,
(47:57):
they're not saying I'm not goodat this, but but they're not
like braggadocea while you whereyou might get some men kind of
saying, Oh my god, I'm so greatat this.
I delivered X, Y, and Z, andthis is pretty amazing, and
blah, blah, blah.
And they show up and they'repretty good.
But the women, you can kind ofread it, you see the resumes,
see the work they've done, theyshow up and they're like, I'm
(48:17):
good at this, I know how to dothis.
And they're, I'd say for themore for the most part,
understated, but in a way thatdoesn't shoot themselves in the
foot, expresses who they are,and then they just show up and
smash it out of the park.
That's kind of when you findthe right women.
That's what women tend to domore of.
So, and that's why I lovecoaching too, right?
(48:38):
Because they're just like, ohmy God, these are A-tier players
who have their own limitingbeliefs, and let's get that out
of the way because you're goingplaces.
Joya (48:45):
Wow.
Barry (48:46):
I love working with somebody like that.
Um I wanted I want to ask youpermission to to plug something
that's that's okay, that's Icall it postcards for healing,
but it relates to something wewere talking about before, and
it's helping others heal ifthat's okay.
Yes, of course.
Because I know our time iswinding down, and I love this.
(49:08):
On a couple other podcasts, I Iget on such a roll I forget to
even mention it.
Joya (49:12):
Yes, please do.
Barry (49:13):
But I think it's valuable for your guests.
One of the things I justlaunched at Carmel Retreats,
which are these wellness, joy,romance retreats for a week in
Carmel, is that I have gaps inmy booking calendar.
And I used to give away thosegaps to artists and writers, and
I'd meet really great people.
(49:34):
But I started this new campaignthat I just launched.
You can be one of the first toknow about it and your audience.
I call it Postcards forHealing.
And so I am now giving awaythose gaps in my calendar to
people who are coming throughhealing, loss, and in need of
wellness.
Joya (49:54):
Oh, that's beautiful.
Barry (49:55):
And it's 100% free.
So I'm giving these stays awayfor free.
Come to Carmel for free.
And I want, I need to get theword out to these people.
And so the way I've set it upis you go to my website, Carmel
Retreats.com, click on postcardsat the top nav, and I ask
people to submit a postcard,literally a physical postcard.
(50:17):
So this is one that I gotrecently.
Joya (50:19):
Oh about being love that showing up.
Barry (50:23):
Um, where you nominate somebody you know who's in need
of wellness and healing.
Oh, I'm the reason for that islike I wanted something very
physical.
Like we're just used to like,you know, tweeting and DMing and
nowadays, and just like oldschool.
I want old school postcards,right?
I'm gonna make you write apostcard with pen and ink, put a
(50:48):
postage stamp on it, mail it tome, and all the information is
on that page.
It's called Postcards forHealing.
And it's kind of this two-stepprocess where it's like maybe
you, Joy, is you like you'renominating somebody else who
needs it.
That means there's a giftcoming from you.
And what do I do?
I become the enabler of yourgift.
Joya (51:06):
Wow.
Barry (51:07):
So it's kind of this virtuous circle, right?
And then I get to have theperson to my cottage who's
coming through healing, which inturn that heals me because um I
have I have so many incredibleand actually unbelievable
stories of healing coming out ofthat cottage that we'll we'll
share that in another podcast.
(51:28):
I can only for now I I I want Iwould love to have postcards.
I know of a lottery and invitepeople to come stay for free.
Joya (51:37):
Oh, that's so generous and so lovely.
And wow, I I love that so much.
I will definitely have thatlink down below for everybody to
be able to find that.
And I'm gonna write my ownpostcard to send to you first.
I automatically thought ofsomebody I want to have go there
who can't afford it.
Barry (51:52):
Unfortunately, we we all know somebody who's coming
through something.
Joya (51:56):
We do, right?
We do.
And that's why that's reallywhy I transitioned my podcast
too to talk more about themystical aspects of life and
grief and death and dying andall of the things of these
aspects of life that are ourreality that nobody wants to
talk about or look at, butthey're also the most powerful
(52:17):
uh awarenesses that we can havethat help us to live a life of
meaning and impact.
Barry (52:22):
Right.
Joya (52:23):
Yeah.
Barry (52:24):
That just sparked something else.
But you were gonna ask you.
Joya (52:26):
No, no, no, go ahead.
Barry (52:27):
What was your story?
Um you know, coming throughcoming through healing and
illness and so forth, I justremember when I was diagnosed,
there's a lot of people outthere who are just like, and I
had one of a friend whounfortunately she didn't make
it, but a lot of people say, Oh,F cancer.
I won't use the word on the onthe podcast, F cancer.
(52:49):
It's like, um, and I don't knowwhy I didn't embrace that
approach.
It's not like I thought, oh,that's wrong.
I think that's works for a lotof people, but for me, I blessed
my cancer.
I blessed my cancer and I said,You're part of my body, and I
bless you out of my body now.
Go away.
And I reminded myself onepercent of my body is ailing.
(53:15):
99% of my body is absolutely100% healthy, and so I think
that's part of the healingprocess.
When we remind ourselves, whenwe come to Carmel or Florence or
Paris or wherever thesebeautiful places are in the
world that we go, you remindyourself, yeah, okay, I'm
dealing with this right now, but99% of my body is healthy right
(53:38):
now.
Let that piece grow.
Joya (53:41):
So beautiful.
So beautiful.
Barry, I know we are coming atthe end of our time here.
Do you have any final words ofwisdom that you would like to
share with listeners?
Barry (53:53):
Um, wait, words of wisdom.
I think well, I'll reiterate.
I mean, I think it's that pieceabout trying to find that voice
within.
It's for that, I so what doesthat mean?
It's so nebulous, but I meanit's really just spend the time,
don't wait to be going throughtrauma, loss, illness.
(54:17):
We all have enough signals inour life, like I'm stressed, my
kids are, you know, driving mecrazy, my job, my boss,
everything else.
We have enough of those smallsignals, right?
Embrace those and say, I'mgonna be intentional about
spending two minutes a day,which I couldn't even do in the
beginning.
I'm gonna spend two minutes aday attracting that vision in my
(54:38):
mind of how I want things to gogreat.
And I'm gonna do it in realtime and tell my brain it's
actually happening now.
I already have that wealth, Ihave that number in my head, I
have that next position that Iwant.
I ace that next job interview.
I've already done it.
I already got that job.
To spend two minutes doing thata day, I think anybody can do
(55:01):
that.
In the beginning, it might be astruggle, but that's just one
tool.
That or find find your versionof Thunderstruck by ACDC.
Um find your song and jam outto it.
Joya (55:16):
Yeah, mine is unwritten by Natasha Bettingfield.
Barry (55:20):
Okay.
I put it right, put that outthere, but I think each person
needs to find their own song.
So now they have two goodpossibilities.
Joya (55:28):
And those are both, they're both joyful exercises,
right?
That bring hope and vision andand elevate your consciousness.
They elevate your frequencyinstantly when you do that.
Yeah.
Barry (55:39):
I have two amazing um reasons to be healthy and thrive
in life.
They're my boys and they'repretty incredible.
I'm so thankful that I get tospend my life with them.
They're two of my greatestteachers.
I think any parent would saythat about their kids.
Speaker 1 (55:56):
Yeah.
Barry (55:57):
Um, but thank you for saying those things and
reflecting back for me so that Ican kind of share some of those
pieces more.
But I'll say this too.
I hope I see you in Carmel.
Or maybe not even in Carmel.
Maybe it's just some randomspot, and I'm gonna be like,
wait, I know you got podcasts.
Joya (56:17):
No, I'm definitely gonna be making a trip to Carmel.
I will be in your neck of thewoods in December for a
fantastic, amazing, beautifulexperience for the solstice.
So I think I'll book some timeat your place before that and
give myself a little healingretreat of my own.
Barry (56:35):
I would love to see you.
Yeah.
That's wonderful.
Joya (56:38):
Barry, thank you for your time and for being here and for
so generously sharing your heartand your wisdom and your space
that you've created and justyour eunus.
You're such a special humanbeing.
Barry (56:50):
I appreciate the time that you spent with me, and I
appreciate your audience andyour listeners for listening.
Joya (56:56):
Thank you.
Thank you for listening.
I invite you to like,subscribe, and share this
episode with anyone you thinkwould enjoy it.
I appreciate it so much.
And I would like to invite youto attend the Sacred Return
Retreat in Sedona, Arizona inNovember.
You can find all of theinformation for that on my
(57:16):
website at thatmystic.com.
See you next week.
Bye.
Welcome to that Mystic Podcast, a sanctuary for the
wild, messy, holy process ofrebirth and resurrection.
I'm Joya, teacher of thefeminine mystic path, and I walk
with women through grief,change, and awakening.
Back home to the presence thatbreathes through all of life.
(00:23):
We don't chase enlightenment.
We embody a resurrection.
We walk devotion in motion.
And here we talk about theintelligence of the heart, the
medicine of grief, the mysticismhidden in everyday life, and
also the science of mysticism.
Take a breath, grab your tea,let your shoulders drop.
(00:45):
This is that mystic podcast,where heaven takes root in the
flesh, and love learns to liveonce again through you.
Hello, Barry.
Thank you so much for joiningme on that Mystic Podcast.
(01:08):
I'm so excited to have youbecause I don't have a ton of
men on my show, but I definitelywant to start having more.
And especially men like you whoare very much in touch and in
tune with the feminine side ofnature and reality.
And so let's start off thisconversation, Barry, by
introducing yourself after youask, answer the question.
(01:29):
What does living a mysticallife look like and mean for you?
Barry (01:35):
First of all, thank you so much for having me on this
podcast.
I'm really excited to connectwith you and your audience.
So living a mystical life, I'vealways been interested in the
mysteries of life ever sincebeing a little kid.
And now I define it for me morearound spirituality.
(01:55):
Um we will get to this in thepodcast, but I've gone through
my own journey where I wasn'tsure and it wasn't clear whether
I was going to survive.
And so when you come out theother end of that, I was
spiritual to begin with, but Ithink that really deepened my
spirituality.
And the way that I um expressthat is through deep connection
(02:18):
with my environment, with theearth, with the ocean, with my
surroundings, with community andfilling every moment I can get
with love.
When I wake up in the morningand somebody asks me how I am, I
say unbelievable because I'mabove ground and I don't take
that for granted.
So that's that's getting intoit a little bit.
There's some teasers in thereas well.
(02:40):
And then I think you asked me adouble question also to
introduce myself.
And I think one of the bestways to do that and connect with
your audience is to say thatI'm first and foremost a father,
a single father to two of themost incredible twin boys on
this planet.
They were born in India in NewDelhi.
(03:02):
I've been raising them on myown since the day that they were
born.
And so, number one, imaginedoing that.
And then number two, imaginethat they're six and just
turning seven years old, andyour doctor diagnoses you with
advanced cancer.
And you need to sit them down.
(03:23):
Have a very sober discussionwith two little peanuts who you
who you love and who you don'tknow whether you will get the
gift of being able to watch themgrow up.
And so I'll leave that outthere, but we can explore it
more.
So that's that's who I am, andthat really transformed and
changed my life and brought meinto what I'm doing today, which
(03:45):
is I do uh leadership coachingfor high-tech executives in
Silicon Valley.
Um, I have I'd say that I havemore women clients than I do
men.
They seek me out, I believe,because they want that male
perspective of really how thegame works from the inside
within Silicon Valley.
It's predominantly male-runindustry, although less so
(04:09):
nowadays.
And some of the bosses that Ihad in my couple of decades-long
experience in Silicon Valleywere women, and they were
probably the best um coaches,mentors, leaders that I've ever
experienced for a number ofreasons.
I can get into that later aswell, too.
But so now I am a leadershipcoach for those people, and then
also I run boutiquepersonalized retreats in Carmel,
(04:32):
California, which is prettymuch the most incredible place.
Comparable maybe in the UnitedStates to Florence or Paris
without going out of state.
So we can cover a bit of thatas well, too.
But just so happy to be here.
Joya (04:49):
Oh my gosh.
I am so happy you're here.
And I'm like, okay, what's thespring-off point here?
Because there's so manywonderful places we can go.
And I think the first and mostobvious one is the cancer
diagnosis and that descent intoyourself.
I imagine that sent you into adeep place.
Barry (05:09):
Yeah, a deep place.
But interestingly, it was likea really a space filled with
light.
And so um I had been, my motherhad just passed away, and I was
at her funeral with family, andI had some swollen glands that
hadn't gone away for a couple ofmonths.
And so I got some encouragementto have them checked out.
(05:31):
My when I did, my doctor said,Oh, you've been sick, and you
know, but let's just have itchecked out for sure by a
specialist.
So I went to see a specialist,and she walked in the room, she
says, How are your swollenglands?
She felt my neck and she becamevery serious instantly, and she
said, She literally said, Oh,this is this is very serious.
(05:55):
And she says, If this is what Ithink it is, um, you won't be
able to get out of bed if youmake it.
And you will be in feedingtubes for the next six to nine
months.
And I said, No, wait a second.
I I have two little kids whoare just turned seven years old.
Um and she started takingbiopsies from me right there in
(06:16):
the office.
And then when she was done, shewalked me over to the CT scan
department holding my hand,walked up to the desk, and she
said, put him first in line.
So as you can imagine, I wasprocessing a lot at that point.
Um I called my sisters and Isaid, Listen, I think this
(06:39):
oncologist thinks that I havecancer.
And my sister's like, Okay,let's figure this out.
And the oncologist turned to meand she said, I want you to
start putting together yourfriends and family network.
And I said, Do you think thatwe should wait for the um scans
to come back?
And she says, No, I want you tostart it today.
So a lot of things were goingthrough my head.
(07:04):
Um yet at the same time, when Iheard her saying things like,
You're not gonna be able to getout of bed for six to nine
months, you'll be on feedingtubes.
My brain said, Bullshit, I am.
I don't know what your podcastis rated, but um, I I just said,
That's not me.
I said, That's not gonna happento me.
(07:24):
And she says, Yes, it will.
And I said, But you don't knowme.
And she says, I've treated alot of people for this.
And so I said, Well, youhaven't treated me.
And something in me, it's notlike I was trying to be
(07:45):
belligerent or you know,oppositional.
I really just felt like I'm ona mission.
I have two kids to raise, I'mtheir only parent.
I do want to watch them growup.
I want to see my grandkids.
I have a full life that I'mgonna live.
And um I went home and Istarted so many things.
(08:06):
I radically changed my diet.
I deepened my spirituality.
I threw rocks off of clifftops,I screamed into the sky, I went
through deep hypnosis, I I hada fairly rare form of cancer,
and I went out and I found fivepeople who had survived my type
of cancer, and I made them myposse.
(08:28):
And I said, What do I do?
I hired a nutritionist.
Um, so I did a lot, right?
I I read incredible books.
I the very next day I happenedto speak to somebody who was um
a radiologist, and he says, Hey,read this book, it'll change
your life.
I got it.
I recommend it to my guests nowwho come to Carmel for Healing.
Joya (08:49):
What was the book?
Barry (08:50):
It's called Love, Medicine and Miracles.
The people who believe thatthey will overcome whatever
illness they have will.
And in that book, you can readit says, if you're diagnosed
even with pancreatic cancer, oneof the deadliest forms of
cancers, which has, I think, youknow, a 5% survival rate or 95%
that you'll be gone with infive years.
(09:13):
Somebody's got to be in that5%.
Why can't it be you, right?
Joya (09:20):
Wow.
And it sounds like from theget-go, your attitude was, I'm
going to live.
And you started doing thingsthat were life-affirming and
life-giving and contributing toyour wellness.
Barry (09:29):
I did.
Joya (09:29):
Yeah.
Rather than going and planningfor dying, you started planning
for living.
Barry (09:34):
I did some of that too.
I had to be practical.
Yeah.
Right.
Joya (09:37):
Yeah.
Barry (09:37):
You get your trust in order, you make arrangements for
you know, the worst case.
But in my mind, when I heardher saying you won't be able to
get out of bed for six to ninemonths, I said, no, I'm going to
be running up and down mystairs every day doing cardio
sprints.
And I'll tell you too, like,I'm six feet tall and I was down
(09:59):
to 130 some odd pounds.
I lost 50 pounds.
I couldn't swallow for months.
I was Ubering myself to theemergency room every day to get,
you know, water transfusion,water infusions so that I just I
wouldn't dehydrate.
Um, and I said, but I'm notgoing on feeding tubes.
And I could not get food down,and I was losing a pound and a
(10:20):
half a day.
And I just gathered my posse offriends together and and we
figured out how am I going toget food in?
And we brainstormed and we andwe did it.
It was a team.
I believe that healing comesthrough team and community and
people who care about and loveyou.
Um, but feel free to ask mesome other questions because
(10:41):
I'm, you know, I could just keepit.
Joya (10:42):
Oh no, it's so it's it's fascinating.
And how long ago was thatdiagnosis?
And are you in remission now?
Barry (10:48):
So so I'm no, I'm not in remission, I'm cured, which is
really pretty spectacular.
So I went from advanced cancerto my oncologist saying, Hey
Barry, you are miraculouslycured two years later.
And he just said, Your canceris not coming back.
Get out of here.
I don't want to see you again.
You don't need to do any morescans.
And I was like, because I wasprepared to be doing my scans
(11:11):
for the next five years.
So I'm seven years out at thispoint.
I still run up and down mystairs for my cardiac friends.
I do rowing machine, I do myworkout every morning, I eat all
the broccoli I can find.
So I do all those things.
And I've now figured out whatsome of those elements of my
healing are, and I don't reallycall it healing or surviving, I
(11:34):
call it thriving.
If you set your mind onthriving and having a great
life, which I think we all wantto do, then that's really our
goal.
And that's my mission now tohelp others do that too.
My mission is to help otherpeople thrive.
Joya (11:51):
And you're living such a beautiful life and where you
live and the work that you'redoing now, and this beautiful
space that you have.
So, how long have you ownedthat?
And what was your transitioninto like this is what I want to
do, along with of course thehigh performance coaching that
you're doing?
Barry (12:06):
So, so number one, I mean, this this background
behind me is Carmel.
I mean, these these gardensI've planted, I planted them
when I was at the height of myrecovery and going through
cancer, putting these like AMinto the ground, planting
Japanese maples, just a windingpathway through the gardens,
things like that.
I just found that that touchingthe earth was part of my
(12:28):
healing process.
So those, let's see, if mydiagnosis was about seven years
ago, I bought the property rightafter the boys were born as
part of their college phone.
I thought, okay, I'll buy this,I'll sell it when they go to
college.
So I bought it, they're 13 now,teens, and I bought it, I'm
gonna say 12 years ago.
So when they were less lessthan a year old, and I thought,
(12:51):
I want to raise my kids going tothe ocean in Carmel.
And so where I live in SiliconValley, I live down the block
from Netflix, Apple's spaceshipheadquarters is five minutes
away, eBay's headquarters isfive-minute drive.
So I'm right in the heart ofSilicon Valley, and you go about
an hour over the Santa CruzMountains to Carmel, and then
(13:12):
you're just in this little tinykind of lost enclave that not
not every not so many peopleknow about, but the ones who do,
like they they never want toleave.
Joya (13:22):
I love it there, right?
Barry (13:24):
So I thought if I could ever own a home there, I would
need to pinch myself.
And I searched for one forthree years.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Wow.
Barry (13:32):
Which, as I dig into more and more of its history, it is
one of the I think originalhomes in Carmel.
It predates the fairy taleComstock cottages.
Joya (13:44):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Barry (13:45):
Think of as Carmel.
Um, this one was built in 1923,two years before the first
Comstock cottage.
Joya (13:51):
Oh my gosh, could you imagine what it must have looked
like there when that home wasbuilt?
And oh, can you even pictureit?
Barry (13:57):
It's hard to picture it.
It's very, very rustic.
And if we have time later, Ican talk about how I've been
digging into the history of thiscottage.
It was the first of all, thewoman who built this cottage a
hundred little over a hundredyears ago, she bought 16 lots in
downtown Carmel.
She bought them, I think, for$5 a piece.
(14:18):
And now they would be worth $2million a piece of six.
About $30 some odd milliondollars.
So I bought my lot from hergranddaughter, who was 96 or 94
years old.
Joya (14:29):
Wow.
Barry (14:30):
Yeah, so I'm the second owner buying it from the
original family who owned it.
And so I figured I considermyself a steward of this
property.
I invite people here now forhealing.
But but two things.
One is Eliza, who built thecottage.
I think she's maybe one of thefirst feminists of our country.
She was a school.
(14:51):
I was gonna say English, rodearound Kentucky on horseback,
finding women who wanted to readliterature with her.
She moved to Carmel, became anEnglish teacher.
And I believe, because there'sa historian who stayed in my
cottage and started digging intothe history, that Eliza may
(15:12):
have been one of those peoplewho had the original salons in
downtown Carmel during theheyday of its art scene.
And wow.
Not just healing.
(15:51):
Again, healing is surviving,experiencing joy and romance is
really thriving.
So I agree.
Joya (15:59):
Even self-romance.
Like I always I buy myselfflowers all the time.
I'm just I love to surroundmyself in beauty.
I just feel like that's such animportant aspect of um healing
and wellness and thriving, likeyou said, is I feel like it's
the it's one of the uniquethings about being a human that
we intentionally create beauty.
Barry (16:18):
Yeah, it's really true.
And I think when you are alongthe ocean or hiking through the
redwood forests of Big Sur thatare just so majestic, and you're
surrounded by it, you feelshrouded in beauty.
You feel part of somethinglarge and incredible and
(16:43):
beautiful.
It makes you feel beautiful,and it's really an incredible
experience.
Joya (16:49):
So beautiful.
And for people listening tothis podcast on audio, it might
be one that you might want towatch on YouTube because I will
actually drop in some photos ofyour property and um beautiful
images of Carmel.
I think it's just one of themost phenomenally beautiful
places I've ever been.
I really do love it there.
Barry (17:07):
I I guess tell me that.
I mean, they say that they havea wonderful experience at the
cottage, um, but I believe thatCarmel does all the heavy
lifting for me.
So I have um I have a a women,a woman couple at the cottage
right now.
They're they're celebrating ananniversary, and they today are
(17:28):
driving down Highway One to BigSur in their convertible,
listening to their favoritetunes.
And if you can just imaginethat, and I've sent them to one
of my favorite places, which iscalled Nepanthe.
It's one of the 1960srestaurants on a cliff top with
just the most incredible view ofthe Pacific Ocean.
You have a spiritualexperience, even if you're just
(17:49):
eating a burger and fries anddrinking a beer there.
It like it's incredible.
Joya (17:53):
I love that you just said that because I feel like you
know, that's part of my missionand what I'm starting to grow
into and what I'm like, what amI, what's my soul here for?
And after going through, youknow, going to those depths of
the underworld and resurfacing,and it's like, okay, what's what
is asking to be created fromthis?
And it's really, you don't haveto go to an ashram, you don't
(18:14):
have to go to temples, you don'thave to go far overseas.
Like the sacred is right whereyou are in your everyday life.
The spiritual is all aroundyou.
And when you have that, it'slike an attitude that you
cultivate, right?
And how to live your life thatway.
Barry (18:29):
So so many thoughts are going through my head, but but
as I was going through cancer, Iremember um my senses became
really highly heightened.
My sense of smell was becamelike I could smell jasmine
blooming from two blocks downthe street where I didn't see
(18:51):
them around me.
I would be walking two blockslater, I'd come upon them.
It was like, wow, I what'sgoing on?
I've heard of women having whatis it called, like pregnant
nose.
I can't remember.
Joya (19:00):
Yes, I had that when I was pregnant.
Barry (19:01):
Yeah, smelling like a dog.
Colors became vibrant.
I wasn't on any meds at thispoint.
Joya (19:09):
I know exactly what was happening.
This is interesting.
Barry (19:11):
Okay, yeah.
So it was me just embracinglife.
That's the way I took it, andyou have a sense, you became a
very heightened awareness ofyou're alive, and everything
around you becomes so deeplybeautiful that the most common
things to you become beautiful.
And I I remember being in theback of an Uber on one of my
(19:35):
many rides to the hospital andblasting um ACDC thunderstruck
through my headphones, becausethat's like one of my rally cry
songs.
I've I've looked it up.
I've I've heard that the thephrase, the title, and the song
itself means absolutely nothing.
It's just like this hard rocksong that for me was about
embracing life.
And I was looking out thewindow, there was the um the
(19:58):
track team running down thestreet, running, and everything
was in slow motion for me.
And I'm listening to thisthunderstruck, and I'm looking
at people doing something assimple as running and knowing
that just think if I ever get tothe point where I can walk and
just run again, I will be sothankful.
But everything just becamebeautiful.
(20:19):
So for people who aren't quitethere yet, who haven't had
necessarily that spiritualjourney, I think you'll have one
if you come to Carmel.
In fact, I guarantee it.
Absolutely.
If you come to Carmel for aweek, you won't leave unless
you're spiritually changed.
And um, and without like I I Ihave never done Ashwagandha, no
(20:41):
judgment.
I I'm not a fan, call me oldfashioned.
I don't like vomiting forwhatever reason.
And you will believe you willhave a spiritual experience in
Carmel.
Joya (20:53):
Yeah.
Barry (20:54):
A week longer there.
Joya (20:56):
And I know for people listening, they're gonna say,
Oh, he meant ayahuasca.
So I will say, I did.
I knew what you meant, and Iknew that you knew what you
meant, but I could see it in thecomments too.
Like, what is he meansayahuasca?
Yes, he meant ayahuasca.
Barry (21:06):
I do.
Because I'm a fan ofAshwaganda.
I do take it.
Joya (21:10):
Yes, exactly.
That he does take.
And I um neither have I.
I've never been called to themother to go and do have that
experience.
But I think what you're sharingwith me is so fascinating right
now because it to me, it's likea confirmation of um, I've been
doing a ton of deep researchabout grief or loss.
(21:30):
So when you're going into lossand you're experiencing grief
and what it does to your mind,what it does to your brain, and
it unplugs the part of yourbrain that's your default mode
network, which is your real,your core sense of identity, and
it actually maps like a brainon psychedelics, which is
fascinating.
So time slows down, the colorsare heightened, like every
experience of your life isheightened, including the pain.
(21:52):
And so that's why thisintentional participation in
your own process that you'regoing through, and it sounds
like you were a high or are ahighly conscious human being,
that you had that wherewithal toconsciously work with your own
experiences you were having.
And I just think it's sobeautiful.
And for you, you're sharingthat.
(22:14):
I'm like, yeah, this is thethis is the experience and the
opportunity, if you will, thatI'm like, this is what the
creator wired within us, thatour hardest times of our life
can also become the route, thedoor, the pathway that open up
to creating even more beauty andprofound ways of being and
(22:36):
living highly conscious statesin our life if we allow it and
go into it.
Barry (22:41):
I just want to let that sink in for everybody.
First of all, thank you.
Yeah, for sharing that.
It's absolutely true.
I also want to say, though,that despite feeling spiritual
prior to my diagnosis, um, Ihave a monkey mind, right?
It jumps all over the place.
(23:01):
My background is in productdesign.
I'm always coming up with newideas.
I love being in high tech, Ilove coming up with new ideas.
Very, very hard for me toaccess that voice within and
connect with my higher self.
So I want to put that out therefor your guests too, who also
might have trouble accessingthat, but that's what we really
want to connect with.
And some people that I'vetalked to have tried it, they'd
(23:22):
be like, well, I can't sitstill, I can't clear my mind,
and things like that.
Well, either could I.
And so part of it is just spendmore time at it.
I don't know if there's anyparticular trick.
There might be things that youuse.
There has been a meditationthat I've found, and I think
that's different for everybodythat certain meditations for me,
(23:43):
it was one where it actuallywalks me through steps of
clearing my mind and then helpsme plant seeds in my third eye.
And then that gets me to apoint of connection.
So I'd say, once what do whatyou need to do to get to that
point of connection.
For me, it was that particularmeditation.
I keep it on my desktop, I canuse it whenever I need it.
(24:04):
I meditate twice a day.
But when you're in that stateand you're connected, you hear
the voice.
And when I say the voice, maybeit's not somebody talking to
you, because I was like, wait,wait, is the voice of God going
to talk?
And what is what is what doesthe voice sound like?
Well, for me, it's more of afeeling and an intuition, and
(24:24):
it's located at some point in mybody.
So people might feel it thatway too.
But it's a signal, right?
It's a message, and you learnto follow it and follow your
instinct.
Joya (24:34):
Yeah, it's a frequency that we tune into, that we're
wired to be receivers, right?
That we're tuning into thisfrequency.
And um, you do need to comewith a you create that coherence
within yourself to receive acoherent signal.
You yourself need to becoherent.
And that was one of the thingsthat I noticed because my mind
is the same way.
It's very busy.
I'm a very creative person.
So I'm always like, uh, I'm oneof those people who's like, oh,
(24:57):
peanut butter, here's somepeanut butter, here's some
chocolate.
How do they work together?
My brain is always doing that.
And uh I noticed that when Iwent into acute grief, that it
felt like a whole forest ofmonkeys.
Before I had monkey mind, andit felt like a whole forest of
monkeys had been released in mymind.
And I found that it was throughum moving my body.
For me, it became verymovement-oriented that I just
(25:20):
started walking a lot in thedesert, even though it was hot.
Even then, I still would getout and walk and not bring my
phone undistracted and just bewith that, noticing it, noticing
it, noticing it, breathing.
And then I found a fantasticmeditation.
So, like you said, I'm also anavid meditator and have been for
years.
But I used to do vipassanameditation, which is just
(25:40):
insight noticing.
So when you have a forest ofmonkeys in your mind, that
noticing was not helpful.
It drove me bonkers.
And I found this meditationprocess where you simply inhale
for six, exhale, inhale for fiveor six, depending on your
breathing patterns.
But inhale for five and youexhale for six, or inhale for
(26:00):
six and exhale for seven.
So it's one count longer, andyou don't pause.
So you just keep breathing likethat in that rhythm.
And I found within 10 minutesmy mind would just be quiet.
Barry (26:12):
I think there are a number of tools out there, and
we need to find the ones thatwork for us.
Yes.
And so maybe that's anothermessage to people, which is hey,
if this is working for Julie,then it's, but it's not working
for me.
Find something else, right?
Which is why I was like, okay,I'm gonna try everything.
Yeah, I tried the acupuncture,that did not work for me.
(26:34):
I was like, hmm, what's wrong?
I tried it again, did not workfor me.
I tried sound healing.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yep.
Barry (26:38):
I went blind in one eye for the next two hours.
I was like, okay, I'm nottrying that again.
I'm very susceptible.
I think to hypnosis and sounds,but it had an adverse uh effect
on me.
Joya (26:49):
I love that you said that because I'm a sound healer and I
say that.
I'm like, that's true.
Barry (26:53):
And you do what?
Joya (26:54):
I'm a sound healer.
That's my trade.
And has anybody ever had thatthat I've had some interesting
experiences, and it's usuallywhen someone's in acute trauma
or they're very sensitive tovibration.
And so I will always say, ifyou feel or and I like to find
out what's going on with peopletoo, because there are other
sounds like gongs or Tibetanbulls or even crystal bulls can
(27:16):
be very activating for peoplethat it's so it's not
necessarily better for whateverthey're going through, where
they might need more strings orjust a gentle, steady drum
rhythm and a humming voice.
Like there's so many differentways to go about it.
But yeah, there are counter,I'm glad you said that because
there are um, you know, counter,what's the word I'm looking
for?
(27:36):
You know, where you're whereit's not healthy for you to
watch out for.
And I'm sorry you had thatexperience.
Oh my gosh.
Barry (27:42):
Well, I'll tell you, at the time it was pretty
incredible.
And like I said, when I when Iwent into hypnosis, separate
from the sound healing, but whenI found somebody who's really
good at hypnosis, I think I wasout within seconds.
And in that space ofconnection, I was talking with
my mother at that point, saying,Hey, just let me live.
You know what?
I have my own little kids toraise and just let me stay here.
(28:03):
I'll join you later.
I love you.
When I did the sound healing, Iwas seeing psychedelics within
a few moments.
And I was saying, wow, I'm in areally good space.
It was when she started tobring me out of it that I was
like, okay, I can see throughone eye now, but what's going on
with what's going on with myother eye?
(28:25):
And then, and then, and it was,I was fully recovered after
maybe two or three hours,something like that.
But I had to drive home.
So I just like say, okay, I'llwait before I get in a car.
Things like that.
So the I think the message isfind, find what works for you.
How find what brings thosemessages to you.
How do you connect with thosevibrations?
(28:46):
Right.
So when we talk aboutconnecting, we throw up blocks
every day, every moment thatkeep us from connecting, right?
And so how do we overcome thoseblocks too?
Joya (29:04):
Maybe I'll I think now is a good a good time to branch
into the coaching aspect ofthings, and which, you know,
talking about leadership andthose blocks are your
resistance, right?
That are coming up withinyourself.
So, how do you work with womenwho encounter those big
resistances, those big blocks?
(29:25):
That's a question.
And then I have anotherquestion I want to ask you, but
oh, wait.
Barry (29:29):
Okay, all right.
Well, I'll jump in with thatone then.
Um, yeah, because I mentioned Ido work with um a number of
leaders in Silicon Valley.
Um one, she's she's one of theexecutives.
I'm gonna say the top one ofthe top three most valuable
companies in the world.
So the people that I get towork with, they're they're
(29:51):
executives, but then I also workwith people who are, you know,
frontline managers or individualcontributors, things like that.
But this one woman, she's amakamaka and She's got a team of
a few hundred people.
And I remember she's she wasvery, very competent, very
bright, you know, driven, veryaccomplished and good at what
(30:15):
she does.
And she was invited to be onstage with some peers and names
that you would recognize thatare in the news every day.
And we had our coachingsession, and she was saying, Why
am I up there?
Is it because was I chosen?
I'm the only woman on thatpanel.
Was it was I chosen because Iwas a woman?
(30:36):
Was I chosen um because um, youknow, my cultural difference
from them, was it beingtokenized, things like this?
And I said, If if you have, Isaid, number one, those are
blocks right there, right?
Because she has something tocontribute and she's incredible.
We all feel this impostersyndrome, even the brightest,
(30:56):
most accomplished people, maybeeven more, right?
So I said, if you're in yourhead thinking about what people
are gonna think of you in thataudience, your head is in the
wrong space right now.
You've been given a gift.
There are women in thataudience right now who see you
as a role model and think backto when you were in that
(31:18):
audience looking up at thatwoman saying, I want to be like
her.
I said, You've been given agift right now to share some of
your gifts, and you're notdelivering anything.
It's coming through you, andyou've just been given a gift to
deliver something and share itwith these people.
I again, not you're notdelivering something, you're
(31:40):
sharing it.
If you get in that mindset thatyou're sharing and you're not
taking something, it unblocksyou right then and there.
That's just one thing thatanybody can do.
If they're stuck on something,I say, how is it that you're
sharing something right now withsomebody else in a way that
allows you to give a gift?
Joya (32:01):
That allows you to give a gift.
Barry (32:04):
Right.
Joya (32:04):
Give a gift that's the key.
Barry (32:06):
To others and yourself.
I'm a big believer.
Like I believe people shouldmake as much money and be as
rich as they possibly can in away so they can have greater
impact and do more, right?
I've coached a guy over thecourse of two years, and he had
a hundred thousand dollarsalary, coached him for two
years, and he's earning close totwo million dollars and he is
in his mid-30s.
Joya (32:26):
Wow.
Barry (32:27):
So I have nothing against receiving for yourself too, as
long as you're doing it in a waythat allows you to share more
and have greater impact withothers.
Joya (32:35):
100% sacred reciprocity, right?
And those people are makingmore of an impact.
Good people do good things withtheir money.
I'm like, money is neutral,it's a feminine energy, but it's
neutral, kind of like thecreative forces that we all work
within is neutral, you know.
So and I feel like money's thesame, it passes through us, it
passes through us, and whoever'sthe mechanism of expression is
(32:57):
what's being expressed, andmoney is the same.
Yeah.
Barry (33:00):
Yeah.
Joya (33:01):
Yeah.
Barry (33:02):
And one of the fastest ways to open up those money
blocks too is to give it away.
Joya (33:06):
Give your money away.
Barry (33:08):
Give your money away.
What will unblock it fasterthan giving away some chunk of
money that's scary or painfulfor you?
unknown (33:15):
Yeah.
Joya (33:16):
I, you know, that I love that because I was at a charity
event uh a couple of weeks agoand I was sitting there and they
were they had this really funauctioneer guy come, an official
one.
And I was like, oh, I've neverbeen in an official auction
where he's like auctioning andthere's people, he has his
people out there that are likeyelling and pointing.
And I was like, this is reallyfun.
And I had this nudge to make abig donation out of my comfort
zone.
(33:36):
And I was like, okay, you toldme to do it, I'll do it.
And so when he got to thatnumber, I raised my little
number up and he's like pointedat me, and I was like, okay,
it's done.
But it's but it came throughwith an energy of uh sacred
reciprocity.
Like there was it was such ajoy in giving in listening to
that message and then in doingit.
Yes.
(33:56):
That I said, Well, who, youknow, when you do that, you open
up those channels forreceiving.
Barry (34:02):
That's exactly right.
It just immediately removes theblock, it makes you feel good
that you've done something.
And for the people who say,Well, I don't have any money to
give away, let's wait till Ihave a little bit more money or
I'm wealthy and things likethat.
Don't wait.
Because think about this.
You want to give away somethingthat feels uncomfortable for
you.
If you're wealthy, that's a biglot of money.
Yeah.
You don't have that much, youcan give away some bit that
(34:26):
feels uncomfortable.
It's a smaller amount.
But it's that it's the it's thepiece of giving away some
amount that feels a little bituncomfortable for you, maybe a
little bit scary, that's gonnahelp unblock that and get more
money to flow back in.
Joya (34:39):
Yeah, and you know, I did that too.
I think I've just always when Ihit that, you hear that nudge,
I'll do it.
And it's been as simple asbeing so broke that I had five
dollars, I was gonna go get acoffee.
And instead of buying thecoffee for myself, I heard give
it to that guy on the corner.
And I'm like, okay.
So, like those kinds of thingswhere it's uh it's a stretch,
but listen.
Barry (35:00):
Yeah, yeah, and I think the other piece that I'm hearing
as you're saying that is thoseare nudges in your column,
right?
But those are the voices, thoseare the messages.
Yes, and so when we talk aboutbeing blocked, the messages are
coming at us all the time,they're all around us.
unknown (35:14):
Yes.
Barry (35:14):
And when we say, Hey, please send me a message,
they're there.
Joya (35:18):
Like, not that one.
Barry (35:21):
Well, sometimes we get reminders, right?
When we say, Hey, please giveme more money, we get a
reminder, oh, I'll show you toappreciate money.
I'll show you to appreciatewhat you already have.
I will take money away fromyou.
That can happen too.
That's like a lesson.
We get lessons instead ofgifts, but those are messages
too.
Joya (35:39):
Well, let's talk about that from a, you know, from a
leadership standpoint and thework that you're doing, because
obviously you're a very valued,wise guide for people who are
really in positions of impactand power, but that's a really
high level that people get toalready.
Do you find that it does notmatter what level you get to?
You still meet these same kindsof resistances as the human
(36:02):
nature and they just get biggerin scale, or are they the same
kind of things that everybodymeets everywhere all the time?
Barry (36:09):
So the answer is actually both.
So we all have these limitingbeliefs, right?
We we're not always aware ofthem or we haven't characterized
them yet.
So we don't know how to betuned into them, recognize them
for what they are.
Um, what I find is with whenI'm working with somebody who's
an individual contributor ormanager, director level person,
they're kind of going throughthe ropes of becoming a leader
(36:31):
for the first time, um, andthey're learning how to inspire
others, which is nobody everteaches us how to do that,
right?
And so that's what I'll spendthe bulk of my coaching sessions
on for somebody at that level.
Those are certain tools that Iwould use at that level, and
they're different for somebodywho I would use who's a like a C
level executive or I also coachCEO startups of companies.
(36:54):
There, it's a lot more in yourhead, in your heart, and
connecting with your higherself.
The tools are are different.
If I started talking aboutconnecting with your higher self
to somebody who's a directorand wants, you know, a tricky
employee to listen to theirdirection better, it's not the
right fit yet.
They haven't their vessel's notbig enough.
(37:16):
Let's put it that way.
Yes.
We all have vessels for for forreceiving wisdom.
And what we don't want is morewisdom to come at us than we
have vessel to receive it.
Joya (37:28):
Absolutely.
Barry (37:29):
Our vessel breaks.
Joya (37:31):
Yeah, let's let that land for a second because that was a
very wise thing to say.
And let and that's the propprocess of this growth in the
entrusting yourself and takingthese risks and moving beyond
your limitations, is that youexpand that capacity to hold
that light, to listen to thosedownloads and take action.
Barry (37:50):
Exactly.
And so, how do we communicatethat or vocalize it or wish for
that?
For me, it's I I pray to thelight that my vessel will be
expanded so that I can attractmore light into it.
If we're feeling that we needto grow, right?
Joya (38:10):
So and a note of caution, listeners, when you say that
kind of prayer and you really,really mean it, be prepared for
all of the stuff you're doingthat's in your own way to reveal
itself to you.
Yeah.
Barry (38:24):
Which can feel negative.
It can feel negative whilewe're going through cleansing.
It can manifest as what'sseeming what feels like very
negative.
Joya (38:33):
It's like I was praying for the light.
Why are all these problemshappening?
And it's like because thelight's revealing to you what
your shadows are casting.
Barry (38:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're lessons for us tomove and grow through.
And if we don't learn thoselessons, they revisit.
Joya (38:48):
How do you teach people to look at everything as a lesson
versus something happening toyou?
Barry (38:56):
So I'm, you know, every I think there are coaches who
have, you know, their setmarketed tool chest of tools
that they'll bring out indifferent situations.
And I do have a toolkit ofdifferent things, but I don't
have a prescribed path that I'mgoing to take people on a
particular journey.
I feel it's very, veryindividual.
(39:18):
I have a backlog of people onmy waiting list.
I work with a few number ofpeople.
Um, I feel each person isunique and different.
And so it's very tailored tothem.
And so it really depends onthat individual.
I I don't want to be evasive inany way, but also there are
tools that we were just talkingabout on this podcast just now
(39:40):
that wouldn't be appropriate foreverybody depending upon their
level of development.
Joya (39:44):
It's true.
Yeah, it's very true.
Yeah.
Barry (39:47):
So um, gosh, this is a disappointing answer, I guess.
I guess the tools I would useto help them build teams,
certain tools to help themcommunicate better, others to
help them inspire, but thenothers to help them work through
blockages and to connect andreally get amped up to find
their true purpose in theirhigher self.
Joya (40:09):
Do you find that there is a process of evolution that
happens before somebody gets tothat level of capacity where
they're ready to open up andallow their higher self to live
through them?
Barry (40:21):
Well, it's a good thing that I'm on this podcast today
because I have never thoughtabout it as an evolution.
And this is this gets to be myown learn learning.
So, what what journey am Itaking people on?
I know that uh work withpeople, you know, sometimes um
uh let's say it might be sixmonths, other times it could be
(40:42):
two years and beyond, right?
So there must be some evolutionhappening there, and clearly, I
mean they grow.
They I don't know that I'veever worked with anybody who
hasn't gotten, you know, apromotion in their company
within the first year of workingwith me.
Some have gotten two promotionswithin a single year.
There obviously large shiftsand changes in their in their
(41:04):
salary and things like that.
So there's there's definitelyan evolution in a career
trajectory.
Um, is there an evolution inthem growing as a person, being
open and so forth?
To be honest, I don't tell themthat I'm gonna take you on a
spiritual journey.
I do talk about things likeexpanding your vessel.
I tell them about receivingmore light, I say being open to
(41:26):
more, but I also say things likewe work so that we can connect
with people and enjoy ourfamilies and our life, not the
other way around.
To me, that's very spiritual,but I don't connect it.
I don't say, oh, this is myspiritual belief, and I'm
sharing it with you.
I think that's very basic,right?
We connect with people, weenjoy the company of friends and
(41:48):
family.
And I have clients who havegrown in ways where they have
then gotten married, startedfamilies, have two children,
bought a house over the courseof a couple of years of working
together, right?
So there's an evolution therein that sense.
Joya (42:03):
Yeah.
unknown (42:03):
Yeah.
Barry (42:04):
And then I think certainly there's an evolution
in terms of um, you know, whatthey're open to, I think
receiving to.
Joya (42:12):
Yeah, I'm hearing it as that increase in capacity is the
increase for goodness in theworld coming in through you and
how you're living your life.
And that definitely impactspeople, right?
It's like when you go, Ithought about this the other
morning when I was walking and Ithought, you know, it's as
simple, we overcomplicate it.
And it's really as simple as mypurpose is when I go to Target,
(42:34):
I show up as love for thecashier, I treat her with
kindness, maybe make her laughor smile.
And when I leave, the nextperson who comes in is some guy
who's a tech billionaire who'sgot his mind preoccupied on this
deal that he needs, although hewouldn't be shopping at Target,
but let's just use it.
Everybody shops at Target.
But she treats him withkindness now, which shifts his
(42:57):
attitude that he goes out intothe world and does this thing.
So it's like this these bigripples get created in the world
of which we have no noknowledge, right?
And it's none of it's reallynone of our business, but it is
to show up in our highestcapacity of our own light and
our own love and our owngoodness and kindness in how
we're treating other people inthe world.
Barry (43:18):
Yeah, it's absolutely true.
I find just building on whatyou just brought up, I find if
you know it's so American.
Oh, hi, how are you?
How is your day?
Yes, they don't care.
And I'm gonna say it's fine.
Go on.
So, what I started doing overthe past few years is the
cashier asks me, How are youdoing?
(43:38):
And I say, unbelievable.
There are very few who are belike, Oh, that sounds terrible.
What happened?
What went wrong, right?
It'll tell you right away.
Most of them feel inspired byit.
They either start laughing orthey feel happy.
And once we're in a mode offeeling and expressing joy, that
(44:00):
opens us up to right there.
We are meant to live livesfilled with joy.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Yes.
Barry (44:06):
Right.
We talked about other ways ofunblocking yourself.
Do something that makes youlaugh, fill yourself with joy.
You're gonna be open to moremessages right around you.
You'll be able to see thembetter.
Joya (44:14):
It's so true.
It is so true.
Oh my gosh.
And my question that I wantedto ask you about uh working with
women in leadership positionsin Silicon Valley and in big,
you know, big corporationsmaking big impacts in the world.
Do you find that there is, andeven with men, is there a rise
from your perspective in morefeminine qualities of
(44:35):
leadership?
Barry (44:37):
What was the word you said?
Joya (44:38):
Is there a rise in the yeah, a rise in the in the less?
So what I'm I think what I'mgetting at is like less of the
um that hardcore masculinehustle culture that's you know,
that used to be just so you bumpup.
It feels like it used to belike, and I lived worked in
corporate America, and it feltlike a bumping up against
everything all the time, versusthe feminine nature is more flow
(45:01):
and open and receptive.
Barry (45:03):
And so I'm just curious if you've noticed a difference
in leadership types and if wellI can I can say what's made some
of the women leaders that I'veserved on their teams, what I've
noticed about them, what whattheir superpowers are.
And and it's not exclusive towomen because well, I'll just
I'll I'll just tell you like thewomen they are much in in
(45:26):
general tend to be much bettercommunicators and more authentic
right off the bat, right?
Yep, they right.
Um, so um we want empathy inour role as leaders, and if
you're a woman and you'reexpressing empathy, it can be
seen as weakness.
So that's one thing to watchout for the women leaders that I
served under, they weren'tweak.
(45:47):
I mean, to be a leader inSilicon Valley, you're not weak.
Right.
You've gotten where you arebecause you're strong and you
know what you're doing andyou're a mover.
Um, but I've found what theirreal superpower is, is the
ability to show upauthentically, to, you know, if
they're if they're let's say notthe greatest presenter, own it,
(46:07):
work through it, build it.
I'll coach you through that.
Um you know, people wantauthenticity and they want
somebody who um uh isn't asafraid to speak their mind.
That's the other thing.
As a person on a woman's team,whether it's the woman leader, I
knew what she was thinking.
I don't always feel that waywith dudes, right?
(46:30):
We right.
That said, um there was a VP atone of the companies at eBay.
I was one of the design leadersat eBay, the VP that we had
right there, he was a dude andhe was unbelievable.
He was empathic, incrediblecommunicator, leader, driver,
super creative, everything.
So it's not exclusive to womenand something that's I think
coachable in men, but we tend tosee it showing up more in
(46:53):
women.
Joya (46:54):
Yeah, and I think that was really the what I meant by that
question was when with feminineleadership is not not always
women.
It's also men who know how toportray those kinds of things,
the empathy and the you know,it's interesting because I was
just reading a paper and all theresearch I'm doing that women,
you know, men, it's themasculine tendency for fight or
flight, and women's naturaltendency is tend and befriend.
(47:16):
So we're more of, and that'swhy more women go to the fawn
rather than fight or flight,where the masculine trait is
more fight or flight.
And so I think it's interestingthat for women, for women, the
natural ability is tend andbefriend.
And if you can do that toyourself first, then you can
definitely have the capacity toshow up like that for other
people.
Barry (47:37):
That's that's true.
I think another thing that I'venoticed is not necessarily
about the leaders, but it's likeas I've been a hiring manager
myself and trying to hirepeople, I've noticed that the
women will show up to theinterviews under um under
expressing their powers.
And I don't know they'reintentionally saying, Oh,
(47:57):
they're not saying I'm not goodat this, but but they're not
like braggadocea while you whereyou might get some men kind of
saying, Oh my god, I'm so greatat this.
I delivered X, Y, and Z, andthis is pretty amazing, and
blah, blah, blah.
And they show up and they'repretty good.
But the women, you can kind ofread it, you see the resumes,
see the work they've done, theyshow up and they're like, I'm
(48:17):
good at this, I know how to dothis.
And they're, I'd say for themore for the most part,
understated, but in a way thatdoesn't shoot themselves in the
foot, expresses who they are,and then they just show up and
smash it out of the park.
That's kind of when you findthe right women.
That's what women tend to domore of.
So, and that's why I lovecoaching too, right?
(48:38):
Because they're just like, ohmy God, these are A-tier players
who have their own limitingbeliefs, and let's get that out
of the way because you're goingplaces.
Joya (48:45):
Wow.
Barry (48:46):
I love working with somebody like that.
Um I wanted I want to ask youpermission to to plug something
that's that's okay, that's Icall it postcards for healing,
but it relates to something wewere talking about before, and
it's helping others heal ifthat's okay.
Yes, of course.
Because I know our time iswinding down, and I love this.
(49:08):
On a couple other podcasts, I Iget on such a roll I forget to
even mention it.
Joya (49:12):
Yes, please do.
Barry (49:13):
But I think it's valuable for your guests.
One of the things I justlaunched at Carmel Retreats,
which are these wellness, joy,romance retreats for a week in
Carmel, is that I have gaps inmy booking calendar.
And I used to give away thosegaps to artists and writers, and
I'd meet really great people.
(49:34):
But I started this new campaignthat I just launched.
You can be one of the first toknow about it and your audience.
I call it Postcards forHealing.
And so I am now giving awaythose gaps in my calendar to
people who are coming throughhealing, loss, and in need of
wellness.
Joya (49:54):
Oh, that's beautiful.
Barry (49:55):
And it's 100% free.
So I'm giving these stays awayfor free.
Come to Carmel for free.
And I want, I need to get theword out to these people.
And so the way I've set it upis you go to my website, Carmel
Retreats.com, click on postcardsat the top nav, and I ask
people to submit a postcard,literally a physical postcard.
(50:17):
So this is one that I gotrecently.
Joya (50:19):
Oh about being love that showing up.
Barry (50:23):
Um, where you nominate somebody you know who's in need
of wellness and healing.
Oh, I'm the reason for that islike I wanted something very
physical.
Like we're just used to like,you know, tweeting and DMing and
nowadays, and just like oldschool.
I want old school postcards,right?
I'm gonna make you write apostcard with pen and ink, put a
(50:48):
postage stamp on it, mail it tome, and all the information is
on that page.
It's called Postcards forHealing.
And it's kind of this two-stepprocess where it's like maybe
you, Joy, is you like you'renominating somebody else who
needs it.
That means there's a giftcoming from you.
And what do I do?
I become the enabler of yourgift.
Joya (51:06):
Wow.
Barry (51:07):
So it's kind of this virtuous circle, right?
And then I get to have theperson to my cottage who's
coming through healing, which inturn that heals me because um I
have I have so many incredibleand actually unbelievable
stories of healing coming out ofthat cottage that we'll we'll
share that in another podcast.
(51:28):
I can only for now I I I want Iwould love to have postcards.
I know of a lottery and invitepeople to come stay for free.
Joya (51:37):
Oh, that's so generous and so lovely.
And wow, I I love that so much.
I will definitely have thatlink down below for everybody to
be able to find that.
And I'm gonna write my ownpostcard to send to you first.
I automatically thought ofsomebody I want to have go there
who can't afford it.
Barry (51:52):
Unfortunately, we we all know somebody who's coming
through something.
Joya (51:56):
We do, right?
We do.
And that's why that's reallywhy I transitioned my podcast
too to talk more about themystical aspects of life and
grief and death and dying andall of the things of these
aspects of life that are ourreality that nobody wants to
talk about or look at, butthey're also the most powerful
(52:17):
uh awarenesses that we can havethat help us to live a life of
meaning and impact.
Barry (52:22):
Right.
Joya (52:23):
Yeah.
Barry (52:24):
That just sparked something else.
But you were gonna ask you.
Joya (52:26):
No, no, no, go ahead.
Barry (52:27):
What was your story?
Um you know, coming throughcoming through healing and
illness and so forth, I justremember when I was diagnosed,
there's a lot of people outthere who are just like, and I
had one of a friend whounfortunately she didn't make
it, but a lot of people say, Oh,F cancer.
I won't use the word on the onthe podcast, F cancer.
(52:49):
It's like, um, and I don't knowwhy I didn't embrace that
approach.
It's not like I thought, oh,that's wrong.
I think that's works for a lotof people, but for me, I blessed
my cancer.
I blessed my cancer and I said,You're part of my body, and I
bless you out of my body now.
Go away.
And I reminded myself onepercent of my body is ailing.
(53:15):
99% of my body is absolutely100% healthy, and so I think
that's part of the healingprocess.
When we remind ourselves, whenwe come to Carmel or Florence or
Paris or wherever thesebeautiful places are in the
world that we go, you remindyourself, yeah, okay, I'm
dealing with this right now, but99% of my body is healthy right
(53:38):
now.
Let that piece grow.
Joya (53:41):
So beautiful.
So beautiful.
Barry, I know we are coming atthe end of our time here.
Do you have any final words ofwisdom that you would like to
share with listeners?
Barry (53:53):
Um, wait, words of wisdom.
I think well, I'll reiterate.
I mean, I think it's that pieceabout trying to find that voice
within.
It's for that, I so what doesthat mean?
It's so nebulous, but I meanit's really just spend the time,
don't wait to be going throughtrauma, loss, illness.
(54:17):
We all have enough signals inour life, like I'm stressed, my
kids are, you know, driving mecrazy, my job, my boss,
everything else.
We have enough of those smallsignals, right?
Embrace those and say, I'mgonna be intentional about
spending two minutes a day,which I couldn't even do in the
beginning.
I'm gonna spend two minutes aday attracting that vision in my
(54:38):
mind of how I want things to gogreat.
And I'm gonna do it in realtime and tell my brain it's
actually happening now.
I already have that wealth, Ihave that number in my head, I
have that next position that Iwant.
I ace that next job interview.
I've already done it.
I already got that job.
To spend two minutes doing thata day, I think anybody can do
(55:01):
that.
In the beginning, it might be astruggle, but that's just one
tool.
That or find find your versionof Thunderstruck by ACDC.
Um find your song and jam outto it.
Joya (55:16):
Yeah, mine is unwritten by Natasha Bettingfield.
Barry (55:20):
Okay.
I put it right, put that outthere, but I think each person
needs to find their own song.
So now they have two goodpossibilities.
Joya (55:28):
And those are both, they're both joyful exercises,
right?
That bring hope and vision andand elevate your consciousness.
They elevate your frequencyinstantly when you do that.
Yeah.
Barry (55:39):
I have two amazing um reasons to be healthy and thrive
in life.
They're my boys and they'repretty incredible.
I'm so thankful that I get tospend my life with them.
They're two of my greatestteachers.
I think any parent would saythat about their kids.
Speaker 1 (55:56):
Yeah.
Barry (55:57):
Um, but thank you for saying those things and
reflecting back for me so that Ican kind of share some of those
pieces more.
But I'll say this too.
I hope I see you in Carmel.
Or maybe not even in Carmel.
Maybe it's just some randomspot, and I'm gonna be like,
wait, I know you got podcasts.
Joya (56:17):
No, I'm definitely gonna be making a trip to Carmel.
I will be in your neck of thewoods in December for a
fantastic, amazing, beautifulexperience for the solstice.
So I think I'll book some timeat your place before that and
give myself a little healingretreat of my own.
Barry (56:35):
I would love to see you.
Yeah.
That's wonderful.
Joya (56:38):
Barry, thank you for your time and for being here and for
so generously sharing your heartand your wisdom and your space
that you've created and justyour eunus.
You're such a special humanbeing.
Barry (56:50):
I appreciate the time that you spent with me, and I
appreciate your audience andyour listeners for listening.
Joya (56:56):
Thank you.
Thank you for listening.
I invite you to like,subscribe, and share this
episode with anyone you thinkwould enjoy it.
I appreciate it so much.
And I would like to invite youto attend the Sacred Return
Retreat in Sedona, Arizona inNovember.
You can find all of theinformation for that on my
(57:16):
website at thatmystic.com.
See you next week.
Bye.
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