October 27, 2025 • 39 mins
What if enlightenment isn’t a peak state but the simple, radical act of seeing yourself clearly with mercy? We trace a path from “manic bliss” to embodied joy, where clarity flows through the body and peace becomes a felt experience rather than a spiritual badge. Along the way, we unpack a bold claim—there’s no such thing as enlightened cruelty—because all harm springs from confusion, not clarity, and light distorts when it passes through unhealed wounds.
I share a grounded reframe of awakening and a compassionate map of core fractures—belonging, safety, worth, shame, trust, abandonment, powerlessness—that shape repeating patterns. Instead of chasing origins, we learn to track the pattern, forgive the self, and let grief move without a story. There’s a guided practice you can use right now: hand to heart, breath into the belly, name the self-judgments, and ask the soul to illuminate what you can’t yet see—with ease and grace. As the nervous system settles, grace becomes physiological, othering dissolves, and true power feels like peace.
We also open a 14-week cohort for women to co-create a living framework that moves from forgiveness to radiance. Built on four pillars—people, process, practices, and purpose—the arc blends Inquiry, Meditation, Sound, Art, Voice, Embodiment, and Dance so insight lands in the body. Whether you’re navigating grief or just tired of insights that won’t stick, this journey offers soul CPR: concepts that orient, practices that regulate, and realizations that arise from your own truth.
If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and email joya@vibologie.com with “embodied truth” in the subject line to learn more. Your clarity changes more than your life; it ends the war inside and brightens the world you touch.
Join The Held Circle - https://www.theheldcircle.com
You can book a 1:1 session with Joya at https://www.thatmystic.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
You are listening to That Mystic Podcast, and I am
your host, Reverend Joya.
This is a show where we talkabout all things spiritual
remembering, embodying the truenature of who we really are, and
talking about the very wild,messy process of rebirthing
(00:22):
yourself through grief, loss, orthat holy longing that's calling
you home.
Enjoy the show.
Hello, beloved lights and souls,beautiful humans.
I've been waking up everymorning with these really
beautiful, profound insights.
(00:46):
And I realize I need to startrecording them so that they
don't get lost.
You know, lost in the ethers ofI think I'll remember that, but
you never do.
But this morning's was somethingI shared on Instagram, which I
usually do share my morninginspirations on Instagram.
(01:11):
And this one was reallybeautiful.
And I'm gonna read you what Iwrote, and then we're gonna dive
deep into this.
The insight that dropped in wasthere is no such thing as
enlightened cruelty.
And of course, that starts withourselves, that starts within.
(01:53):
To realize that you yourselfonce projected through your
wounds.
And you know, sometimes we stilldo.
We're humans.
That's why forgiveness is aconstant process.
It's seeing yourself clearly isthe first enlightenment.
And to be enlightened is to seethat all chaos, confusion, war,
(02:18):
separation, division, judgment,and fear come through light
projected through the wounds.
Every act of harm is a byproductof confusion, not clarity.
And I wrote this the other dayin my journal in meditation.
Beneath all the hurt and all thecarnage is the wound of
(02:44):
unexpressed grief.
The wound of unexpressed grief.
This is why the greatest act ofrebellion is to enlighten
yourself, because every act ofharm is a byproduct of
confusion, not clarity.
And to see yourself clearly, notthrough the eyes of your ego,
(03:06):
not through the eyes that arejudging you, but through the
eyes of God, which arewitnessing through the soul of
you.
I've experienced this innerseeing, and it's incredibly
humbling and very painful in therealization that it contains.
This invites forgiveness of theself, mercy toward the self, so
(03:29):
that grace can fill all of thecracks and the broken places
within you, so that the livinglight can flow through you
unimpeded by your wounds.
All harm comes from confusionand suffering, and you cannot
offer others what you have notgiven yourself.
Seeing clearly is the alchemythat turns our suffering into
(03:51):
wisdom.
It's cultivating a coherentnervous system and heart field.
When one stops fighting oneself,light can flow unimpeded, and
enlightenment ends othering.
That was my post on Instagramthis morning, and I wanted to
dive a little bit deeper into itbecause it's really beautiful.
(04:13):
And as I'm working on my book,I'm gonna have a call to action
about that at the end of thispodcast, so stay tuned.
And I wanted to dive in a littlebit deeper into this topic of
enlightenment because nowspiritual awakening, talking
about spiritual awakening, allthe people out there talking
about spiritual awakening, isthat it's almost starting to
(04:37):
sound cliche.
Redefining enlightenment fromthe taking the term
enlightenment back fromspiritual awakening.
Awakening is one thing.
Awakening is fun when you firstawaken and you're like, wow, oh
my gosh, I didn't see what I cansee now.
Colors are brighter, you move alittle bit slower through the
(04:59):
world, you become moreself-aware, and you start to
feel really good.
You might tap into more joyinside of you.
And I went through this phase afew years ago, and I remember
speaking with one of myspiritual mentors, and I was
like, I'm doing great.
And she's like, say more.
And I was, I'm just so happy.
(05:20):
Everything is so great.
I'm so awake now, and I can see,I can see myself and what I'm
doing, and I can choose not todo these things, and and I'm
just I'm doing this and I'mdoing that, and I just feel so
good.
Life is so beautiful andamazing.
And she just very calmly says,You're experiencing manic bliss.
I'll never forget it.
(05:41):
I got really mad at her.
It's like, who are you to tellme that my joy is not real?
And it's not to say that the joyisn't real, it is real.
But there's a different level ofjoy that arises through
embodiment.
And it is a calm joy.
It's not manic bliss, it's it'sthe joy of sitting outside with
(06:04):
a cup of tea and delighting inthe colors of the flowers and
the hummingbirds and thebutterflies that are visiting
them, and reacting withexcitement when a dragonfly
bounces across your path.
Just these little things, theselittle moments of witnessing and
noticing, for me, that's whatthey are.
(06:25):
Deeper calm, deeper noticing,deeper joy.
And so if we redefineenlightenment as radical
self-seeing, then we turn theroot of enlightenment back to
what it means, to be filled withlight.
(06:46):
But rather than externalillumination or cosmic bliss, it
becomes inner visibility first,which is the capacity to see
your own humanity without thedistortions.
And it's lucid self-awarenesswith mercy.
And mercy means you're givingyourself a break for what you
(07:07):
witness, because as Lily Tomlinsaid, one of my favorite quotes
is self-realization is notnecessarily good news.
So when you really come into thetruth of your of your wounding,
your own wounds, and how you'veprojected those wounds
externally, it's a very painfulthing to go through.
(07:29):
But when you can go through itwith mercy and through the eyes
of enlightenment, which aren'tyour own eyes, that inner
illumined nature does not comefrom the self.
It's coming from your soul, thatpart of you that is eternal,
(07:50):
that never dies, that sitssomewhere else in the field of
all it is.
You can call it heaven, you cancall it wherever, you can call
it right next to God.
Whatever your belief is, that'sfine.
But just tune into the frequencyof it, because that's what's
shining the light inside of you.
That it's that this soul is, I'mjust seeing a vision right now.
(08:14):
The soul is plugged in directlyto the source of light, which
gives the soul its light.
And then from the soul connectedto the source, that light is
flowing into you as the livinganimated intelligence of your
body.
And you're only as lit up insideby the soul as you yourself will
(08:39):
it to be.
Because this biological meatsuit that we have here on planet
Earth, as Tara Brock calls it,our spacesuit, I love that, our
spacesuit for getting around onspaceship earth.
That as we our conditioned, ourconditioned self, our wounded
(08:59):
self, disconnects from our soul.
And so we create a separationinside of us.
And this is where our thisdeepest wound comes from.
This is the self everyone isseeking.
This is the reason there's amulti-billion dollar industry
built on people seeking.
They're all seeking the samething, and it's the return to
this connection to the soul thatconnects us to our source, that
(09:25):
gives us our true power.
And every other power that wethink we have that comes from
our ego and building externalaltars to our ego in this 3D
playground we live in that weall get to build and construct
in this 3D printer called Earththat we create in with our
(09:47):
frequency.
That all of those things,everything built in time, ends
in time, but the soul iseternal.
And that is what is constantlyknocking at the door of your
heart.
That's what seeks the drivingfor awakening in the first
place.
That's what seeks anybody towant to change anything in the
(10:09):
first place.
And at first we can think thatwe're so satisfied in our life
because we're accomplishing allthe things, we're doing all the
things, we look the way we want,we're making the money we want,
we're traveling where we want,we think we have the friends we
want, we're having a good time.
It's all about the want.
I'm fulfilling all my want,want, wants.
(10:29):
Except as you get everythingthat you think you want, you'll
find yourself still empty.
How do I know?
A, I've been there, and B, Ihave so many clients that that
is their story.
And they don't understand whythey're not at peace.
(10:51):
And what is this thing they'reseeking?
They're like, I just am seekingsomething else and I don't know
what it is.
I know exactly what it is.
It's the restoration of yourdivine nature, your soul self
seeking expression through you,not your ego's expression, your
soul's expression, your soul'spurpose, your soul's meaning for
(11:15):
being in a body in the firstplace.
And so that's what this lucidself-awareness is, that you're
aware of yourself, to be awarethat you're aware, you're aware
that you're dreaming, you'reaware that you're awake in your
life.
And that's the gift of plantmedicines, but it's also the
(11:37):
gift of grief and loss.
You don't have to go on a plantmedicine journey to have this
kind of awakening.
You just have to have thecourage to turn toward and go
into where it hurts.
It's not easy.
So the light as theconsciousness meeting our
(11:59):
woundedness, I've talked aboutthis before on another video.
But there is a perception thatwe have that, or that I have, I
should say, that everything thatis chaos, everything that is
destruction, everything that ishurt, hurtful, or what did I
(12:19):
write here?
Beneath all the hurt and all thecarnage is a wound of
unexpressed grief.
And that underneath all of thosewounds, it's because
consciousness is being distortedby pain, because you're alive
and you're living.
And I just heard in my mindpause after that sentence.
(12:41):
So let me say that again.
Consciousness gets distorted bypain.
Because you are light, and lightis being projected through you
as living, living light.
Living light is flowing throughyou at every single moment that
(13:01):
you are alive in this body.
There's no exception to thatrule, or you wouldn't be alive.
There is a living force ofsource, which is the animating
intelligence of all livingthings.
And it's flowing through you inevery moment.
But if it's flowing through youand it's projecting out through
the lens of the wounds, thenit's creating wounded
(13:25):
distortions onto the field ofreality, or this 3D field,
rather, that you're playing andcreating in.
Every act of harm is a byproductof confusion, not clarity.
And I hope that this reframesmorality from judgment to
understanding, because we don'twant to condone this behavior
(13:50):
and be like, oh, well, that'swhy.
No.
We want to see through to theroot cause.
And if we can look at ourpatterns in our life and see the
things that hurt us, and theseare all very individual and um
to each and every one of us,right?
What hurts us.
You can look within your ownfamily dynamic if you have
(14:12):
siblings and how you wereraised, and how each of you
interpret through the lens ofyour own perception of reality
your own family experience.
We're all so perfectlyindividuated and individual and
all part of one unified whole.
(14:34):
So when we can see that ourwound, our patterns that hurt
us, that harm us, are comingthrough a wounded projection, we
can then separate ourselves,like take a step away from the
wound instead of being in thepain, we can say, What's the
pattern of this pain?
And what is it teaching me aboutmy wound?
(14:55):
Really profound question to sitand journal and be honest with
yourself about.
I see this pattern repeating inmy life.
What is the wound projecting?
There's a wound projecting thispattern, and the pattern is not
the wound, the pattern is themanifestation of the wound.
So it goes into the intowhatever that core wound is and
(15:19):
asks, and it's asking forhealing.
What's interesting about thesecore wounds is that the
projections and themanifestations are infinite in
form because we are suchcreative beings, and we're
acting out in our own theaterand stage of our life and
projecting our wounds into ourown theater and stage of our
(15:39):
life.
But every human wound can betraced to a handful of core
fractures of belonging, safety,love, and our worth.
The wound of separation says I'malone in the world.
The wound of unworthiness saysI'm not enough or I'm too much.
(16:01):
The wound of shame says if yousee me, you'll reject me.
Rejection comes from shame.
And the wound of betrayal andtrust says, I mean, those that
love me will hurt me.
The wound of powerlessnessteaches us I am helpless.
The wound of abandonment teachesI am unlovable when I'm not
(16:24):
being useful.
And the wound of rejection ofthe self, our own
self-rejection, our own exile,says parts of me are
unacceptable.
But all of these woundsoriginate from the deep
forgetting of mistaking yourselfas separate from the love that
(16:48):
you are, as the soul pluggedinto the source, which is pure
light and pure love.
So when we use enlightenment nowturned inward and ask, or not
ask, rather, well, we ask forforgiveness, but we also utilize
the process of forgiveness onourselves and mercy toward
(17:10):
ourselves through self-kindness,then we reconnect to our inner
sight of restoration rather thanjudgment.
Judgment will only create moreof that pattern.
It's wounding the wounding.
Seeing clearly is an alchemythat turns our suffering into
our wisdom.
(17:30):
And this is how we create acoherent nervous system and
heart field and mind field,because when we stop fighting
with ourself, light can thenflow unimpeded.
Grace becomes physiological.
It's not a theologicalexperience, it's a physiological
(17:51):
experience in which you feelthis energy of pure love flow
through you.
And I describe it as seeing withthe eyes of God that see
everything about you that youcan hide nothing about yourself,
(18:11):
and it loves you anyway.
It's so powerful to feel it.
And that's why I think thegreatest act of rebellion I
always have is to enlightenyourself.
Because awakening is asubversive act against the
collective shadow.
(18:32):
It's revolutionary in a worldthat's addicted to projection,
blame, othering, division, hate,me against you, you against
them, tribalism.
And it just gets down smallerand smaller, this division.
It gets notched down smaller andsmaller on the biggest scales.
It's country against country.
(18:54):
Or we could even say it's at abigger scale than that on planet
Earth.
Continent against continent.
And then country againstcountry, state against state,
religion against religion, coloragainst, or race against race,
sex against sex.
(19:18):
Do you see how this like keepsnotching down smaller and
smaller and smaller and smallerand smaller?
These but they're all such bigdivisions that are that create
fear.
Women afraid of men, men afraidof women.
But underneath all of that isI'm afraid of myself.
Beneath all of it is a woundedprojection of being separated
(19:44):
from the light that you are,because this enlightenment that
shines on you ends othering.
Because it reveals there is noother.
The woundedness that I projectonto the world, as I forgive
myself for this, I forgiveothers for their woundedness
they project onto the worldbecause I can see it so clearly.
(20:06):
In the way of mastery, which iswhat I love to study, it says
everything is either a cry forhelp and healing or an extension
of love.
And so that's what we're talkingabout here when we're talking
about enlightenment.
It's no light subject.
(20:26):
Enlightenment is clear seeing,first yourself and then the
world.
And when we realize that, wetake responsibility for
ourselves and our projectionsand our wounds that we're
creating within ourselves first.
We know when we're creating anexperience of shame or blame,
(20:48):
regret, hurtfulness, havingpower over someone else by being
mean or whatever it is that youhave power over somebody with.
True power, true power, comesfrom love.
Peace is true power.
It dismantles everything on thisplanet that says otherwise, but
(21:08):
it's the truth.
So that's my message for thisday, asking you and inviting you
to turn inward and just take onething, one pattern that you
notice repeating in your life.
Is it relationship patterns?
(21:29):
Is it financial patterns?
Is it patterns with addiction?
Is it patterns with uh neglect?
Is it patterns withprocrastination?
There's all kinds of things.
Just look at what patterns arerepeating that are causing you
pain and then see if you couldtrace it back and back to where
(21:49):
it first started.
And you don't even have to dothat if you don't want to,
because honestly, it doesn'tmatter.
The fact is it's there.
So if you don't need, if youdon't want to go do an
archaeological dig on yourself,you don't have to.
Because right now, in this verymoment, transformation can
occur, or the beginnings oftransformation.
(22:12):
Transformation is notinstantaneous.
Your nervous system, your mind,your heart would not be able to
handle it.
That's why transformation is aslow, gradual process.
It happens in the day thatyou're in.
And so if you can look at thosepatterns and say, I forgive
myself for judging myself, Iforgive myself for harming
(22:33):
myself, I forgive myself forseparating myself from my soul.
And maybe that's the ultimateforgiveness.
And as you say that and put yourhand on your heart, I invite you
to put your hand on your heart.
Close your eyes if you're notdriving.
And take a deep breath in withyou through your belly.
Let's take a belly breath in andjust take a breath in.
(22:58):
Hold it at the top.
Feel your breath in your body.
Let your shoulders drop.
Let your back come straighter.
Exhale.
(23:24):
And feel yourself in your bodyfor just a moment.
Notice what's going on in there.
In your tummy, in your heart, inyour mind, and just take some
deep conscious breaths, notholding them, not excessively
deep, but just a nice rhythm ofbreathing that's deeper than you
(23:47):
normally do.
And just say, with your lefthand on your heart and your
right hand over your left, themasculine supporting the
feminine to do the work.
I forgive myself for judgingmyself.
(24:15):
I forgive myself for being sohard on myself.
I forgive myself for demands ofperfection.
I forgive myself for thinkingthat my life is anywhere other
(24:36):
than where it is right now, inthis moment.
I forgive myself for separatingmyself from my soul.
(25:01):
And with the tiniest bit, thetiniest bit of knowing that your
soul is real, that your soulexists in your body physically
as a source of light.
(25:22):
And notice as I say those words,where it ignites in your body.
I just felt mine ignite when Isaid that.
So with the tiniest bit ofknowing that the soul is plugged
into you as your true nature.
(25:43):
Follow its light up and up, allaround you, surrounding you.
And you can even take your handsoff of your heart and just move
your hands around you andenvision that your soul light
energy is flowing through yourconnection to your soul, through
(26:07):
your heart, down your arms andout of your hands.
So you have healing light ofsource flowing out of your
hands.
And just move it around you likeyou're filling in your aura,
plugging up those leaks.
And ask for the end of theseparation.
(26:32):
Ask to be guided.
Ask to be shown.
What in me is asking for my ownforgiveness.
What in me is asking forattention and love.
(27:04):
Trust and invite your soul tobring more light into you, to
enlighten you, so that you canbe aware of what you are not
aware of.
Ask for these things to bebrought up to the level of your
consciousness, your lucidawareness, so that you can see
(27:25):
what you cannot see right now.
Just ask your soul.
And then add the words with easeand grace.
Very important.
With ease and grace, as muchease and grace as possible, so
(27:51):
that the light within me lightseverything.
So I can see what is asking tobe grieved.
You can take a deep breath in.
Thank your soul in whatever wayfeels good to you.
(28:23):
What a beautiful practice thatjust completely dropped in and
was channeled.
And it is grief at the bottom ofeverything.
Grief never goes away.
The wound is what covered it up.
The wound is unexpressed grief.
(28:44):
I want to say that if you feellike you need support, please
get support.
A coach, a therapist.
And tell them what you're doingin this.
I don't want your advice.
I don't need your help.
I just need you to hold spacefor my grief.
(29:04):
So that I feel safe beingwitnessed and held.
Nothing needs healing.
The wounds need expression.
It's not easy work.
I'm not even going to begin topretend that it is.
And that's why a true spiritualawakening is not all manic
(29:29):
bliss.
Because to be truly enlightened,we have to realize our own core
wounds and how they've projectedinto our own life, forgive
ourselves for it, and thenexpress the emotion that is
stuck and stored inside theenergy of that wound in the
(29:49):
body.
And that's the work I'm soblessed that I've been doing my
whole life, so that when my sonpassed, that's what I Went to, I
knew to do that.
And it was everything.
It's medicine.
Dance it out, voice it out, drumit out, sing it out, art it out,
(30:13):
walk it out, nature it out, cryit out, scream it out, throw
something against a wall andsmash it out.
Let that pent-up rage out, noton other people, as a mode of
expressing the energy.
And the most important thing isthat you do this without telling
(30:33):
yourself a story about thefeelings.
Follow the energy of the feelingand let it arise and let it pass
away, and you'll feel it.
It's like breathing.
Everything in nature has arhythm.
Our emotions are included inthat rhythm.
And this brings me to theoriginal mention at the
(30:57):
beginning, this invitation.
I'm writing a book about thiswork, about embodying the truth
of who we really are.
And I don't even want to call itspiritual awakening anymore
because your soul was neverasleep.
It's just buried.
And so this work is aboutremembering, restoring, and
resurrecting your true nature bystripping away the wounds that
(31:22):
keep you separated from yourtrue self.
And I'm looking for a smallcohort of women to walk this
journey with me over 14 weeks,and not as students, but as
sacred witnesses andco-creators.
Because you'll be beta testingthis framework, and your
(31:44):
experiences and transformationswill become part of the book
itself.
Your stories will help light theway for others who read the
book.
It's built on four pillars: people, sacred witnesses to hold (31:53):
undefined
you through the process whereyou witness each other.
Process, walking through theseseven gates of light, a
forgiveness to radiance protocolthat my son gave me from the
other side.
(32:13):
And this is so much more thantheory.
It is literally a livingtechnology.
And it's been tested in thelaboratory of my own
transformation and validated inall of the research I've been
doing about it.
The third P is practices,embodiment technologies under
the acronym I'm Saved, whichstands for Inquiry, Meditation,
(32:38):
Sound, Art, Voice, EmbodimentPractices, and Dance.
And the last P is Purpose, whichis your own self-authored
meaning that emerges from doingthis work.
We're going to meet four timesevery two weeks, so twice a
week, for teaching the concept,for doing a practice together,
(33:03):
and then two sacred witnessingcircles with each other.
This is deep, messy, beautiful,gut-wrenching, transformational
work.
And it's not just for those whoare in grief, it's for anyone
ready to really, really, reallydo the work to strip away what's
(33:26):
false and step into what's real.
Grief is only an easier portal,not easier, but you know what I
mean, to get into this deepplaces, these deep recesses
within you, because when you'rein grief, you are already
(33:47):
demolishing your default modenetwork.
And so when this identitystructure has been dismantled,
it's like all of these old partsof yourself come up to the
consciousness to be examined andlooked at along with the grief
you're already grieving.
But if you're not grievinganything consciously, but you
(34:08):
are just tired, you've done allthe work, you know all the
things in your mind, but it'snot sticking.
And you want to go through thisliteral soul CPR process, which
that downloaded to me thismorning.
CPR stands for the concept, thepractices, and the realizations
(34:30):
that you yourself will have.
This is deep work.
So if you're feeling the call,email me at joya at vibology.
It's V-I-B-O-L-O-G-I-E.com withembodied truth in the subject
line.
And this is a sacred exchange.
(34:51):
There's an investment requiredbecause your transformation
deserves your commitment.
And my holding this spacedefinitely deserves sacred
reciprocity.
I'm starting it in December.
And we're going to walk overthis over 14 weeks, beginning in
December.
And I cannot wait to walk thisfire with you.
(35:14):
Very excited about this offeringand having others participate in
this work to contribute also tothis book will be so invaluable
for yourself.
And it's also part of one of thethings in this process that
we're going to walk through (35:30):
the sacred giving as light, reaching
that pinnacle point of yourpurpose, where you're now giving
back and contributing to thetransformations of others.
And we're all so unique that ourindividual perspectives and
experiences are invaluable.
(35:52):
So I can't wait to hear fromyou.
I don't want to have any morethan 12 to 14 women walking
through this at a time so thatwe can really come into a tight
group together and reallydocument the transformations
that you'll all be walkingthrough and hold each other in
(36:14):
really sacred space of ourbecoming.
Again, email me Joya, J-O-Y-A atVibology.
It's V as in Victor, I B as inBoy, O-L-O-G-I-E.com.
And I look forward tocommunicating with you about
this.
I wish you a blessed andbeautiful day.
(36:35):
Practice forgiveness, mostly foryourself, over and over and over
again, and be the change.
So much love, everybody.
Thank you for listening to thatmystic podcast.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe, and your comments are
always so appreciated.
As well as if you share the showwith someone you think would
(36:57):
benefit from the conversation.
I invite you to join my emaillist so you can be the first to
know when what I have launchinglaunches, and you can join a
community of mystical sistersjust like you.
Visit that mystic dot com.
See you next week.
Bye.
You are listening to That Mystic Podcast, and I am
your host, Reverend Joya.
This is a show where we talkabout all things spiritual
remembering, embodying the truenature of who we really are, and
talking about the very wild,messy process of rebirthing
(00:22):
yourself through grief, loss, orthat holy longing that's calling
you home.
Enjoy the show.
Hello, beloved lights and souls,beautiful humans.
I've been waking up everymorning with these really
beautiful, profound insights.
(00:46):
And I realize I need to startrecording them so that they
don't get lost.
You know, lost in the ethers ofI think I'll remember that, but
you never do.
But this morning's was somethingI shared on Instagram, which I
usually do share my morninginspirations on Instagram.
(01:11):
And this one was reallybeautiful.
And I'm gonna read you what Iwrote, and then we're gonna dive
deep into this.
The insight that dropped in wasthere is no such thing as
enlightened cruelty.
And of course, that starts withourselves, that starts within.
(01:53):
To realize that you yourselfonce projected through your
wounds.
And you know, sometimes we stilldo.
We're humans.
That's why forgiveness is aconstant process.
It's seeing yourself clearly isthe first enlightenment.
And to be enlightened is to seethat all chaos, confusion, war,
(02:18):
separation, division, judgment,and fear come through light
projected through the wounds.
Every act of harm is a byproductof confusion, not clarity.
And I wrote this the other dayin my journal in meditation.
Beneath all the hurt and all thecarnage is the wound of
(02:44):
unexpressed grief.
The wound of unexpressed grief.
This is why the greatest act ofrebellion is to enlighten
yourself, because every act ofharm is a byproduct of
confusion, not clarity.
And to see yourself clearly, notthrough the eyes of your ego,
(03:06):
not through the eyes that arejudging you, but through the
eyes of God, which arewitnessing through the soul of
you.
I've experienced this innerseeing, and it's incredibly
humbling and very painful in therealization that it contains.
This invites forgiveness of theself, mercy toward the self, so
(03:29):
that grace can fill all of thecracks and the broken places
within you, so that the livinglight can flow through you
unimpeded by your wounds.
All harm comes from confusionand suffering, and you cannot
offer others what you have notgiven yourself.
Seeing clearly is the alchemythat turns our suffering into
(03:51):
wisdom.
It's cultivating a coherentnervous system and heart field.
When one stops fighting oneself,light can flow unimpeded, and
enlightenment ends othering.
That was my post on Instagramthis morning, and I wanted to
dive a little bit deeper into itbecause it's really beautiful.
(04:13):
And as I'm working on my book,I'm gonna have a call to action
about that at the end of thispodcast, so stay tuned.
And I wanted to dive in a littlebit deeper into this topic of
enlightenment because nowspiritual awakening, talking
about spiritual awakening, allthe people out there talking
about spiritual awakening, isthat it's almost starting to
(04:37):
sound cliche.
Redefining enlightenment fromthe taking the term
enlightenment back fromspiritual awakening.
Awakening is one thing.
Awakening is fun when you firstawaken and you're like, wow, oh
my gosh, I didn't see what I cansee now.
Colors are brighter, you move alittle bit slower through the
(04:59):
world, you become moreself-aware, and you start to
feel really good.
You might tap into more joyinside of you.
And I went through this phase afew years ago, and I remember
speaking with one of myspiritual mentors, and I was
like, I'm doing great.
And she's like, say more.
And I was, I'm just so happy.
(05:20):
Everything is so great.
I'm so awake now, and I can see,I can see myself and what I'm
doing, and I can choose not todo these things, and and I'm
just I'm doing this and I'mdoing that, and I just feel so
good.
Life is so beautiful andamazing.
And she just very calmly says,You're experiencing manic bliss.
I'll never forget it.
(05:41):
I got really mad at her.
It's like, who are you to tellme that my joy is not real?
And it's not to say that the joyisn't real, it is real.
But there's a different level ofjoy that arises through
embodiment.
And it is a calm joy.
It's not manic bliss, it's it'sthe joy of sitting outside with
(06:04):
a cup of tea and delighting inthe colors of the flowers and
the hummingbirds and thebutterflies that are visiting
them, and reacting withexcitement when a dragonfly
bounces across your path.
Just these little things, theselittle moments of witnessing and
noticing, for me, that's whatthey are.
(06:25):
Deeper calm, deeper noticing,deeper joy.
And so if we redefineenlightenment as radical
self-seeing, then we turn theroot of enlightenment back to
what it means, to be filled withlight.
(06:46):
But rather than externalillumination or cosmic bliss, it
becomes inner visibility first,which is the capacity to see
your own humanity without thedistortions.
And it's lucid self-awarenesswith mercy.
And mercy means you're givingyourself a break for what you
(07:07):
witness, because as Lily Tomlinsaid, one of my favorite quotes
is self-realization is notnecessarily good news.
So when you really come into thetruth of your of your wounding,
your own wounds, and how you'veprojected those wounds
externally, it's a very painfulthing to go through.
(07:29):
But when you can go through itwith mercy and through the eyes
of enlightenment, which aren'tyour own eyes, that inner
illumined nature does not comefrom the self.
It's coming from your soul, thatpart of you that is eternal,
(07:50):
that never dies, that sitssomewhere else in the field of
all it is.
You can call it heaven, you cancall it wherever, you can call
it right next to God.
Whatever your belief is, that'sfine.
But just tune into the frequencyof it, because that's what's
shining the light inside of you.
That it's that this soul is, I'mjust seeing a vision right now.
(08:14):
The soul is plugged in directlyto the source of light, which
gives the soul its light.
And then from the soul connectedto the source, that light is
flowing into you as the livinganimated intelligence of your
body.
And you're only as lit up insideby the soul as you yourself will
(08:39):
it to be.
Because this biological meatsuit that we have here on planet
Earth, as Tara Brock calls it,our spacesuit, I love that, our
spacesuit for getting around onspaceship earth.
That as we our conditioned, ourconditioned self, our wounded
(08:59):
self, disconnects from our soul.
And so we create a separationinside of us.
And this is where our thisdeepest wound comes from.
This is the self everyone isseeking.
This is the reason there's amulti-billion dollar industry
built on people seeking.
They're all seeking the samething, and it's the return to
this connection to the soul thatconnects us to our source, that
(09:25):
gives us our true power.
And every other power that wethink we have that comes from
our ego and building externalaltars to our ego in this 3D
playground we live in that weall get to build and construct
in this 3D printer called Earththat we create in with our
(09:47):
frequency.
That all of those things,everything built in time, ends
in time, but the soul iseternal.
And that is what is constantlyknocking at the door of your
heart.
That's what seeks the drivingfor awakening in the first
place.
That's what seeks anybody towant to change anything in the
(10:09):
first place.
And at first we can think thatwe're so satisfied in our life
because we're accomplishing allthe things, we're doing all the
things, we look the way we want,we're making the money we want,
we're traveling where we want,we think we have the friends we
want, we're having a good time.
It's all about the want.
I'm fulfilling all my want,want, wants.
(10:29):
Except as you get everythingthat you think you want, you'll
find yourself still empty.
How do I know?
A, I've been there, and B, Ihave so many clients that that
is their story.
And they don't understand whythey're not at peace.
(10:51):
And what is this thing they'reseeking?
They're like, I just am seekingsomething else and I don't know
what it is.
I know exactly what it is.
It's the restoration of yourdivine nature, your soul self
seeking expression through you,not your ego's expression, your
soul's expression, your soul'spurpose, your soul's meaning for
(11:15):
being in a body in the firstplace.
And so that's what this lucidself-awareness is, that you're
aware of yourself, to be awarethat you're aware, you're aware
that you're dreaming, you'reaware that you're awake in your
life.
And that's the gift of plantmedicines, but it's also the
(11:37):
gift of grief and loss.
You don't have to go on a plantmedicine journey to have this
kind of awakening.
You just have to have thecourage to turn toward and go
into where it hurts.
It's not easy.
So the light as theconsciousness meeting our
(11:59):
woundedness, I've talked aboutthis before on another video.
But there is a perception thatwe have that, or that I have, I
should say, that everything thatis chaos, everything that is
destruction, everything that ishurt, hurtful, or what did I
(12:19):
write here?
Beneath all the hurt and all thecarnage is a wound of
unexpressed grief.
And that underneath all of thosewounds, it's because
consciousness is being distortedby pain, because you're alive
and you're living.
And I just heard in my mindpause after that sentence.
(12:41):
So let me say that again.
Consciousness gets distorted bypain.
Because you are light, and lightis being projected through you
as living, living light.
Living light is flowing throughyou at every single moment that
(13:01):
you are alive in this body.
There's no exception to thatrule, or you wouldn't be alive.
There is a living force ofsource, which is the animating
intelligence of all livingthings.
And it's flowing through you inevery moment.
But if it's flowing through youand it's projecting out through
the lens of the wounds, thenit's creating wounded
(13:25):
distortions onto the field ofreality, or this 3D field,
rather, that you're playing andcreating in.
Every act of harm is a byproductof confusion, not clarity.
And I hope that this reframesmorality from judgment to
understanding, because we don'twant to condone this behavior
(13:50):
and be like, oh, well, that'swhy.
No.
We want to see through to theroot cause.
And if we can look at ourpatterns in our life and see the
things that hurt us, and theseare all very individual and um
to each and every one of us,right?
What hurts us.
You can look within your ownfamily dynamic if you have
(14:12):
siblings and how you wereraised, and how each of you
interpret through the lens ofyour own perception of reality
your own family experience.
We're all so perfectlyindividuated and individual and
all part of one unified whole.
(14:34):
So when we can see that ourwound, our patterns that hurt
us, that harm us, are comingthrough a wounded projection, we
can then separate ourselves,like take a step away from the
wound instead of being in thepain, we can say, What's the
pattern of this pain?
And what is it teaching me aboutmy wound?
(14:55):
Really profound question to sitand journal and be honest with
yourself about.
I see this pattern repeating inmy life.
What is the wound projecting?
There's a wound projecting thispattern, and the pattern is not
the wound, the pattern is themanifestation of the wound.
So it goes into the intowhatever that core wound is and
(15:19):
asks, and it's asking forhealing.
What's interesting about thesecore wounds is that the
projections and themanifestations are infinite in
form because we are suchcreative beings, and we're
acting out in our own theaterand stage of our life and
projecting our wounds into ourown theater and stage of our
(15:39):
life.
But every human wound can betraced to a handful of core
fractures of belonging, safety,love, and our worth.
The wound of separation says I'malone in the world.
The wound of unworthiness saysI'm not enough or I'm too much.
(16:01):
The wound of shame says if yousee me, you'll reject me.
Rejection comes from shame.
And the wound of betrayal andtrust says, I mean, those that
love me will hurt me.
The wound of powerlessnessteaches us I am helpless.
The wound of abandonment teachesI am unlovable when I'm not
(16:24):
being useful.
And the wound of rejection ofthe self, our own
self-rejection, our own exile,says parts of me are
unacceptable.
But all of these woundsoriginate from the deep
forgetting of mistaking yourselfas separate from the love that
(16:48):
you are, as the soul pluggedinto the source, which is pure
light and pure love.
So when we use enlightenment nowturned inward and ask, or not
ask, rather, well, we ask forforgiveness, but we also utilize
the process of forgiveness onourselves and mercy toward
(17:10):
ourselves through self-kindness,then we reconnect to our inner
sight of restoration rather thanjudgment.
Judgment will only create moreof that pattern.
It's wounding the wounding.
Seeing clearly is an alchemythat turns our suffering into
our wisdom.
(17:30):
And this is how we create acoherent nervous system and
heart field and mind field,because when we stop fighting
with ourself, light can thenflow unimpeded.
Grace becomes physiological.
It's not a theologicalexperience, it's a physiological
(17:51):
experience in which you feelthis energy of pure love flow
through you.
And I describe it as seeing withthe eyes of God that see
everything about you that youcan hide nothing about yourself,
(18:11):
and it loves you anyway.
It's so powerful to feel it.
And that's why I think thegreatest act of rebellion I
always have is to enlightenyourself.
Because awakening is asubversive act against the
collective shadow.
(18:32):
It's revolutionary in a worldthat's addicted to projection,
blame, othering, division, hate,me against you, you against
them, tribalism.
And it just gets down smallerand smaller, this division.
It gets notched down smaller andsmaller on the biggest scales.
It's country against country.
(18:54):
Or we could even say it's at abigger scale than that on planet
Earth.
Continent against continent.
And then country againstcountry, state against state,
religion against religion, coloragainst, or race against race,
sex against sex.
(19:18):
Do you see how this like keepsnotching down smaller and
smaller and smaller and smallerand smaller?
These but they're all such bigdivisions that are that create
fear.
Women afraid of men, men afraidof women.
But underneath all of that isI'm afraid of myself.
Beneath all of it is a woundedprojection of being separated
(19:44):
from the light that you are,because this enlightenment that
shines on you ends othering.
Because it reveals there is noother.
The woundedness that I projectonto the world, as I forgive
myself for this, I forgiveothers for their woundedness
they project onto the worldbecause I can see it so clearly.
(20:06):
In the way of mastery, which iswhat I love to study, it says
everything is either a cry forhelp and healing or an extension
of love.
And so that's what we're talkingabout here when we're talking
about enlightenment.
It's no light subject.
(20:26):
Enlightenment is clear seeing,first yourself and then the
world.
And when we realize that, wetake responsibility for
ourselves and our projectionsand our wounds that we're
creating within ourselves first.
We know when we're creating anexperience of shame or blame,
(20:48):
regret, hurtfulness, havingpower over someone else by being
mean or whatever it is that youhave power over somebody with.
True power, true power, comesfrom love.
Peace is true power.
It dismantles everything on thisplanet that says otherwise, but
(21:08):
it's the truth.
So that's my message for thisday, asking you and inviting you
to turn inward and just take onething, one pattern that you
notice repeating in your life.
Is it relationship patterns?
(21:29):
Is it financial patterns?
Is it patterns with addiction?
Is it patterns with uh neglect?
Is it patterns withprocrastination?
There's all kinds of things.
Just look at what patterns arerepeating that are causing you
pain and then see if you couldtrace it back and back to where
(21:49):
it first started.
And you don't even have to dothat if you don't want to,
because honestly, it doesn'tmatter.
The fact is it's there.
So if you don't need, if youdon't want to go do an
archaeological dig on yourself,you don't have to.
Because right now, in this verymoment, transformation can
occur, or the beginnings oftransformation.
(22:12):
Transformation is notinstantaneous.
Your nervous system, your mind,your heart would not be able to
handle it.
That's why transformation is aslow, gradual process.
It happens in the day thatyou're in.
And so if you can look at thosepatterns and say, I forgive
myself for judging myself, Iforgive myself for harming
(22:33):
myself, I forgive myself forseparating myself from my soul.
And maybe that's the ultimateforgiveness.
And as you say that and put yourhand on your heart, I invite you
to put your hand on your heart.
Close your eyes if you're notdriving.
And take a deep breath in withyou through your belly.
Let's take a belly breath in andjust take a breath in.
(22:58):
Hold it at the top.
Feel your breath in your body.
Let your shoulders drop.
Let your back come straighter.
Exhale.
(23:24):
And feel yourself in your bodyfor just a moment.
Notice what's going on in there.
In your tummy, in your heart, inyour mind, and just take some
deep conscious breaths, notholding them, not excessively
deep, but just a nice rhythm ofbreathing that's deeper than you
(23:47):
normally do.
And just say, with your lefthand on your heart and your
right hand over your left, themasculine supporting the
feminine to do the work.
I forgive myself for judgingmyself.
(24:15):
I forgive myself for being sohard on myself.
I forgive myself for demands ofperfection.
I forgive myself for thinkingthat my life is anywhere other
(24:36):
than where it is right now, inthis moment.
I forgive myself for separatingmyself from my soul.
(25:01):
And with the tiniest bit, thetiniest bit of knowing that your
soul is real, that your soulexists in your body physically
as a source of light.
(25:22):
And notice as I say those words,where it ignites in your body.
I just felt mine ignite when Isaid that.
So with the tiniest bit ofknowing that the soul is plugged
into you as your true nature.
(25:43):
Follow its light up and up, allaround you, surrounding you.
And you can even take your handsoff of your heart and just move
your hands around you andenvision that your soul light
energy is flowing through yourconnection to your soul, through
(26:07):
your heart, down your arms andout of your hands.
So you have healing light ofsource flowing out of your
hands.
And just move it around you likeyou're filling in your aura,
plugging up those leaks.
And ask for the end of theseparation.
(26:32):
Ask to be guided.
Ask to be shown.
What in me is asking for my ownforgiveness.
What in me is asking forattention and love.
(27:04):
Trust and invite your soul tobring more light into you, to
enlighten you, so that you canbe aware of what you are not
aware of.
Ask for these things to bebrought up to the level of your
consciousness, your lucidawareness, so that you can see
(27:25):
what you cannot see right now.
Just ask your soul.
And then add the words with easeand grace.
Very important.
With ease and grace, as muchease and grace as possible, so
(27:51):
that the light within me lightseverything.
So I can see what is asking tobe grieved.
You can take a deep breath in.
Thank your soul in whatever wayfeels good to you.
(28:23):
What a beautiful practice thatjust completely dropped in and
was channeled.
And it is grief at the bottom ofeverything.
Grief never goes away.
The wound is what covered it up.
The wound is unexpressed grief.
(28:44):
I want to say that if you feellike you need support, please
get support.
A coach, a therapist.
And tell them what you're doingin this.
I don't want your advice.
I don't need your help.
I just need you to hold spacefor my grief.
(29:04):
So that I feel safe beingwitnessed and held.
Nothing needs healing.
The wounds need expression.
It's not easy work.
I'm not even going to begin topretend that it is.
And that's why a true spiritualawakening is not all manic
(29:29):
bliss.
Because to be truly enlightened,we have to realize our own core
wounds and how they've projectedinto our own life, forgive
ourselves for it, and thenexpress the emotion that is
stuck and stored inside theenergy of that wound in the
(29:49):
body.
And that's the work I'm soblessed that I've been doing my
whole life, so that when my sonpassed, that's what I Went to, I
knew to do that.
And it was everything.
It's medicine.
Dance it out, voice it out, drumit out, sing it out, art it out,
(30:13):
walk it out, nature it out, cryit out, scream it out, throw
something against a wall andsmash it out.
Let that pent-up rage out, noton other people, as a mode of
expressing the energy.
And the most important thing isthat you do this without telling
(30:33):
yourself a story about thefeelings.
Follow the energy of the feelingand let it arise and let it pass
away, and you'll feel it.
It's like breathing.
Everything in nature has arhythm.
Our emotions are included inthat rhythm.
And this brings me to theoriginal mention at the
(30:57):
beginning, this invitation.
I'm writing a book about thiswork, about embodying the truth
of who we really are.
And I don't even want to call itspiritual awakening anymore
because your soul was neverasleep.
It's just buried.
And so this work is aboutremembering, restoring, and
resurrecting your true nature bystripping away the wounds that
(31:22):
keep you separated from yourtrue self.
And I'm looking for a smallcohort of women to walk this
journey with me over 14 weeks,and not as students, but as
sacred witnesses andco-creators.
Because you'll be beta testingthis framework, and your
(31:44):
experiences and transformationswill become part of the book
itself.
Your stories will help light theway for others who read the
book.
It's built on four pillars: people, sacred witnesses to hold (31:53):
undefined
you through the process whereyou witness each other.
Process, walking through theseseven gates of light, a
forgiveness to radiance protocolthat my son gave me from the
other side.
(32:13):
And this is so much more thantheory.
It is literally a livingtechnology.
And it's been tested in thelaboratory of my own
transformation and validated inall of the research I've been
doing about it.
The third P is practices,embodiment technologies under
the acronym I'm Saved, whichstands for Inquiry, Meditation,
(32:38):
Sound, Art, Voice, EmbodimentPractices, and Dance.
And the last P is Purpose, whichis your own self-authored
meaning that emerges from doingthis work.
We're going to meet four timesevery two weeks, so twice a
week, for teaching the concept,for doing a practice together,
(33:03):
and then two sacred witnessingcircles with each other.
This is deep, messy, beautiful,gut-wrenching, transformational
work.
And it's not just for those whoare in grief, it's for anyone
ready to really, really, reallydo the work to strip away what's
(33:26):
false and step into what's real.
Grief is only an easier portal,not easier, but you know what I
mean, to get into this deepplaces, these deep recesses
within you, because when you'rein grief, you are already
(33:47):
demolishing your default modenetwork.
And so when this identitystructure has been dismantled,
it's like all of these old partsof yourself come up to the
consciousness to be examined andlooked at along with the grief
you're already grieving.
But if you're not grievinganything consciously, but you
(34:08):
are just tired, you've done allthe work, you know all the
things in your mind, but it'snot sticking.
And you want to go through thisliteral soul CPR process, which
that downloaded to me thismorning.
CPR stands for the concept, thepractices, and the realizations
(34:30):
that you yourself will have.
This is deep work.
So if you're feeling the call,email me at joya at vibology.
It's V-I-B-O-L-O-G-I-E.com withembodied truth in the subject
line.
And this is a sacred exchange.
(34:51):
There's an investment requiredbecause your transformation
deserves your commitment.
And my holding this spacedefinitely deserves sacred
reciprocity.
I'm starting it in December.
And we're going to walk overthis over 14 weeks, beginning in
December.
And I cannot wait to walk thisfire with you.
(35:14):
Very excited about this offeringand having others participate in
this work to contribute also tothis book will be so invaluable
for yourself.
And it's also part of one of thethings in this process that
we're going to walk through (35:30):
the sacred giving as light, reaching
that pinnacle point of yourpurpose, where you're now giving
back and contributing to thetransformations of others.
And we're all so unique that ourindividual perspectives and
experiences are invaluable.
(35:52):
So I can't wait to hear fromyou.
I don't want to have any morethan 12 to 14 women walking
through this at a time so thatwe can really come into a tight
group together and reallydocument the transformations
that you'll all be walkingthrough and hold each other in
(36:14):
really sacred space of ourbecoming.
Again, email me Joya, J-O-Y-A atVibology.
It's V as in Victor, I B as inBoy, O-L-O-G-I-E.com.
And I look forward tocommunicating with you about
this.
I wish you a blessed andbeautiful day.
(36:35):
Practice forgiveness, mostly foryourself, over and over and over
again, and be the change.
So much love, everybody.
Thank you for listening to thatmystic podcast.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe, and your comments are
always so appreciated.
As well as if you share the showwith someone you think would
(36:57):
benefit from the conversation.
I invite you to join my emaillist so you can be the first to
know when what I have launchinglaunches, and you can join a
community of mystical sistersjust like you.
Visit that mystic dot com.
See you next week.
Bye.
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