That's Absurd Please Elaborate

Tired of having to do all your evil deeds yourself? Well with this one simple organism and some ethically dubious genetic engineering you too could have your very own army of immortal minions! (Intelligence and number of eyes may vary). Julian explores what you might need to make these little favorites of moms everywhere. Then Trace explores a pool of saliva.... Just going to leave it at that.

QUESTIONS:

Julian: "If you were...

Want to make a nanoscale image of the Mona Lisa? Listener Kodiak does. All they have to do is learn a bit of quantum mechanics, some thermochemical nanolithography, and then tap the genius of ancient superbrain Leonardo da Vinci! EASY!! Scientists did it!! Even though you can't see it without a powerful microscope trust us that she is smirking even harder than usual.

While Trace is poking around like Ant Man, Julian rolepla...

The hip bone connected to the basalt rock

The femur bone connected to the lunar maria

The foot bone connected to the gravitational equilibrium of the celestial bodies!

That’s the story of the bones… and… this episode?

QUESTIONS

Trace: "How easy would it be to break your bones if humans can fly?" from Anonymous

Julian: "How big would the moon have to be to make you weightless?" from Sun

Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's a...

his week, Julian prunes the universe down to size: bonsai animals, bonsai humans, bonsai...uhm...did he just say bonsai HUMANS? Meanwhile, Trace tunes into the world of telepathy, where mind-reading might sound less like superpowers and more like trying to pick up a radio station with a bent coat hanger.

QUESTIONS

Julian: "Can you bonsai any living things other than trees or shrubs?" from Ard

Trace: "How would telepathy actua...

This week, we and guest Lieven Scheire all ruminate about a new job: Fart Safety Officer. Meanwhile, Trace get’s SALTY thinking about what if the oceans weren’t and Julian calculates the pure pasty reflectiveness of the Britons.

QUESTIONS

Trace: "If we removed all salt from the oceans, would that solve anything about rising water levels?" from Rob

Lieven Scheire: "Could a fart be ruminated to the point where smelling it would...

Julian rolls into yet another extremely nerdy community and fires rounds left and right. Meanwhile, Trace calls his mom to help answer a question from a kid. As long as we're not on the subject though, what do tree trunks and military tanks have in common? They’re both flammable.

QUESTIONS

Julian: "Who would win: Dragons vs WW2 tanks” - Tim

Trace: “Why are trees Green and Brown why not purple or something else?” - Rhonda

Do y...

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, Julian’s got a blueberry question for you…

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-da-dee, it you are wise you'll listen to … this podcast??

What do you get from a hose to space?

“Is it a straw or a siphon,” asked Trace?

Blaming us for these silly quest-ions

You know exactly what… else happ-pens!

We dig deep and will answer them!

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,

If you like this pod then you will go far.

You will live in happine...

In this episode, Trace investigates whether your furry companion is cuddling you... or forging a trauma bond in exchange for treats. Meanwhile, in a shocking twist of anatomy, Julian answers what would happen if your muscles worked in reverse. Flexing? Cancelled. Walking? Complicated. Cuddling your trauma-bonded cat? Still mandatory.

QUESTIONS

Julian: "What if muscles worked in the opposite direction?" from Eline from the Ne...

In this rebroadcasted episode, Trace resets the solar system to observe what life would be like on a 2/3rds-sized "Wee Earth." Julian, meanwhile, uses particle physics to finally distinguish between his left and right hands.

QUESTIONS

Julian: "If I had some magic communicator to speak to someone in another galaxy, could I explain what "left" and "right" were?" from Anonymous

Trace: "How would have life evolved if Earth was tw...

In this episode Trace takes way, way too long to explain that dreams are pretty darn short. Meanwhile, friend of the absurd, Deboki Chakravarti squeezes every last drop of information about breastfeeding.

QUESTIONS

Deboki Chakravarti: "Why do we only breastfeed our babies, but not other close relatives and friends to boost each other's immune systems?" from Kathy

Trace: "How does time in dreams work" from Haurane

Do you have a...

It's the most wonderful time of the year! When the fish in the water make the kids scream and holler and panic with fear! That's right, it's Shark Time. You all know what we're referring to but we think the term might be trademarked like the Tuber Bowl and Taco Thursday. Anyway, we're kicking off the celebrations and to help us do so we went out and (politely) caught the coolest shark expert we know, Jaida Elcock, to answe...

In this strange episode Trace obsesses over the wild water system stretching across North America, and Julian contemplates indoor clouds and ACTUALLY ANSWERS: Does this solve anything?!?!

Thanks to Dr Brian Rahm from the New York State Water Resources Institute at Cornell University for answering my silly questions.

Find out more about water: https://cals.cornell.edu/water-resources-institute

QUESTIONS

Julian: "Is it possible ...

This week we try something a little different — the ⚡️THUNDER ROUND ⚡️ as Jeff Goldblum says in Jurassic Park Uno, “Your [science nerds] were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should!”

In this special episode, Julian and Trace snagged every dinosaur related question we could fit in a shaving cream can. Then, like a couple of velociraptors in a kitchen we made a huge mess of things. Th...

Setting: Dry, warm evening in a small pub in Los Angeles.

Deputy Julian: "Whew-whee! What's that smell?!"

Detective Kyle (with a light drawl): "That's ozone, Julian. Something out of this world happened in this English phone box."

Dep. Julian (looking up at the sky): "By out of this world…you mean up there in the sky?"

Det. Kyle: sighs heavily

Dep. Julian: "I'm going to go check!"

Julian unfurls his giant grotesque wings. After ...

Trace WOOD really like you to know that Dr Sam Zelinka from the Forest Products Lab is really SWELL, and he is KNOT KIDDING (I’m out of puns). Also, Julian talks about airplanes (again).

QUESTIONS

Julian: "What is the fastest color?" from Rey

Trace: "How much does my house shrink in the winter and expand in the summer?" from Chris

Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's a silly idea that popped into your head, a shower thou...

When I was a kid, I ran around a corner and a tree branch went right into my eye. Luckily, my mom kissed it and made it all better… or… was it my brain that made it better? And can dogs do that too? Brb, gonna go kiss my dog.

QUESTIONS

Julian: "Do animals get the placebo effect??" from Trevor (poll winner)

Trace: "How long have people been kissing kids boo-boos, and does it work?" from Jenn (she/her)

Do you have an a...

This is our first LIVE SHOW ever!! We were invited to perform the podcast live at Smith College in Massachusetts and people actually came! Thanks for all your support these past two years. We wouldn’t be here without you all. Thank you!

QUESTIONS

Julian: "Is it possible to maintain a tunnel from one side of the earth to the other? What would be the environmental effects?" from Weina Lu (she/her)

Trace: "Is there a quantity of...

Bananas are positively aching to murder you. They’re radioactive, they’re clones, they’re slippery, they’re filled with potassium (which explodes when it hits water). Ignore those mosquitoes over there in the corner, pay attention to this murderous banana! NO DON’T PULL THE CURTAIN

QUESTIONS

Julian: "How many bananas would it take to kill a man?" from Hannah (she/her)

Trace: "Could Mosquitoes go extinct with nothing bad happe...

Turns out plants are absolute CHATTERBOXES! They talk so much that they make Julian look like a silent partner (he’s not). Instead, he uses a silly German accent to accost our guest Maren Hunsberger all about plant communication. And, speaking of intense interrogations, Star Wars’ Tatooine gets a lot of play in the pop-science space news, but here at home having two suns is way hotter, and also (surprisingly) WAY COLDER!

QU...