May 15, 2025 • 45 mins
The usual TSFU content is back in full swing over on Patreon! They're more than TWO weeks ahead- Patrons got episode 175 this week!
In this episode Ash and Kristen give you a little breather from the heavy topics they've had on deck recently - check out the Patreon to see what you've been missing! The gals talk about how the kids in different religions beat around the bush so Jesus doesn't see. Make sure to follow along with the lyrics in this post on our FREE Patreon (must sign up to view)! And watch the music videos in the show notes if you have time, they're hilarious!
-Audio editing by Gaytrice Perdue.
In this episode Ash and Kristen give you a little breather from the heavy topics they've had on deck recently - check out the Patreon to see what you've been missing! The gals talk about how the kids in different religions beat around the bush so Jesus doesn't see. Make sure to follow along with the lyrics in this post on our FREE Patreon (must sign up to view)! And watch the music videos in the show notes if you have time, they're hilarious!
- The Loophole by Garfunkel and Oates
- Catholic Girls by Frank Zappa
- Loophole by Noel Miller
- Soakin' USA by Zelph on the Shelf
-Audio editing by Gaytrice Perdue.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone. You might have noticed that episodes on the
main feed drop pretty randomly, and that's because I generally
upload them whenever I can carve out the time. But
over on Patreon, our patrons are getting weekly episodes without fail,
consistent ad free regular TSFU episodes. For reference, today's episode
here on the main feed is one seventy three, and
(00:22):
they got one seventy five this week, as well as
several other releases during April and may like our Patreon
exclusive segment Ash Learns the Bible.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Want to join the party and get those regular episode
drops like them, then head on over to patreon dot
com slash tsfu and consider supporting us for as little
as five dollars a month. The financial support is obviously
immensely appreciated, but if that's not in your wheelhouse, totally
get it. A five star review or a glowing written
(00:51):
review also is amazing, super duper helpful, and you know,
tell a friend because we are pretty grassroots indie indie.
If you want to check out the patreon for free,
we also have a free version, head on over to
our free patreon if you want to see the lyrics
for the songs in today's episode, enjoy the show. So
(01:12):
that's what's weird about this one, you guys, is you
have to have a friend there because they jump on
the bed.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Because if you're making the sex happen, it's.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
No, you can't do that. No, that is against the rules.
But if you just happen to have fell into your
vagina and then your friend, oh hey, I'm just gonna
jump on the bed real quick.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
What that is so fucked up? It's fucked up, fucked up.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
It is just so damn fuck. That's fucked up.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
That's McDonald Yeah, yeah, I think I'll probably want a
big mac because I'd like, I haven't seen a McDonald's
tmer in a long time, and that just randomly popped
into my head.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Well it's pretty catchy and it's been there for a while.
So I did have McDonald's the other day. I had
some fries.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Oh they were their prize are the bass They just are.
I don't know what it is because I don't think
it's actually potatoes, but whatever it is, the potato product,
maybe a potato compound or something. A potato product, yeah,
just a potato product, a potato flake.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Maybe.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I don't know. Yeah, Well, instead of the McDonald's theme song, today,
I'm gonna get some other earworms for you. You know
what an earworm is.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, a tune you can't get out of your head.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
It sure is.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
So today we're gonna have some earworms about some sexy loopholes.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I can't wait to sing this all day tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh, and you'll have a few to shoes from. We
decided that it's been just so fucked up lately and
we wanted to lighten things up just a tad. So
this is Still That's So fucked Up, a podcast about
make things that you what? Oh go remix? Fuck yeah,
(03:06):
remix that's fucked up? Nice? Yeah, I love it. Trust me.
This is gonna get fucking stuck in your head. Fuck
me and the Ass because I love Jesus good. No,
Actually there's two songs that have the word loophole in
the title end. I'm so excited to share with you.
(03:28):
So I'm your host, Ashley Love Richards.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
And I'm Kristin Jones.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And she's Kristin Jones. Today we're going to talk about
sexual loopholes used in different religions.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Mostly, i'd say by the teens, you know, a little work.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Around to get a little a little freaking dicky.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, you know, because there are apparently types of sex
that God can't see or that don't really count.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's like if you don't move quickly, then you don't
see on the perif.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
So sexual loophole is a way for the kids to
bypass or avoid consequences by finding scripture or some shit.
It's like, well, I don't know, it's fucking says right there.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
You know, it doesn't specify this.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
It's open to interpretation, which is why I think y'all
should know your Bible. If you're gonna be a Bible person,
you know one of the types of religions that reads
the Bible, because you know, I'm all for people having
spiritual practices and shit, but don't just listen to one
fucking person's interpretation, because that's what happens when you like
(04:40):
go to a church, right, So yeah, I mean it's
one pastor or that's.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Literally the only pastor preacher there's prech the Yeah, depending
on your religion.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Father's a Catholic one, that is, yes, that's true. Yes,
as a Catholic girl, I know that you're a Catholic girl.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I did grow up Catholic.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah. Yeah, So let's see if you know about this one,
because we're going to talk about one that's used in
I don't want to say that these are commonly used,
but they're used. So anybody who's like, I've never heard
of that, but like, it's oh, yeah, it's not, It's fine.
It's not everybody did it, but some people for sure
(05:19):
enough that there's names and songs about it.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Right, which I had no idea. I knew there were names,
but I did not know there were songs. So I'm
I'm looking forward to the songs.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Well, my fav YouTuber shout out Coop. He talked about
drfing durfing episode and played a little clip of this
song about drfing. I was like, Yeah, that's catchy as
hell though, and then I went and found it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Durfing is one that I've not heard of.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It's a Mormon practice. So we've got a Christian practice,
a Catholic practice, and two Mormon practices. Because the Mormons
get freaky, you know, they get creative. I guess.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Shout out to our Mormon listeners. How many there are
probably not a lot, Probably some ex Mormons for show
for show, absolutely okay. Also, please you don't have to
comment anywhere publicly because on us, where would you even
do that. We don't fucking even we are going to
post social media. It's we're gonna do that one day.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I did there.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
But you know, if you're on the Patreon, please leave
a comment. And if that's too public, I totally understand.
But you guys, or if you're not on the Patreon,
email me or the discords message me or yeah, fucking anywhere,
go to Patreon no tsfu, thepodcast dot com. You'll get
a link to the discord, the Patreon. The other thing
I mentioned, maybe nothing your email. All the stuff is there,
(06:40):
all the stuff, all the stuff. You can submit a
message that I'll go right to my email. So please
let me know if you've ever done any of these,
you know, and you can just be like, oh, my friend,
and I'll believe you. You can say friend did it.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Or if you've even heard if you didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Fucking no judgment at all. I'm just yeah, you know,
we're just curious. I don't know why I'm doing like
so many wing quin nudge nudges, especially because they can't
really see well but.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I feel like this topic it's like when you say oh,
shoot instead of shit, you know, like when you're a kid,
it's like you can't say the thing, so it's like,
I mean that thing, that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Huh. It's like kind of like that shoot rick.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Oh, frick frick frackin' frick fracking.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You know what. Shout out to shout out to all
of our editors, Kim Gatrius, Ryan Sophia who's onboarding, all
of our past editors. Gatrius cusses more than anybody I
fucking know, except she doesn't say swear words. But she's like, well, gosh,
diddy darn no, I think, gosh dang darn it, I
(07:48):
think that was it. Not like that, I am, but
Gaytrus fucking I Love you is like, well, you know,
it's shoot, gosh darn it, freakin' uh. You know, like
every other word that comes out of her mouth is.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Some control to be able to do that.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
But it's her own cussword, which is you fucking well,
that's just her vocabulary, you know, that's what she says too. Funny.
I'm trying to think if I've ever heard her slip
up and say an actual swear word.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I don't know, but let's fucking go.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Let's do it. I need to know what the kids
are doing these days.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Oh yeah, you do, and sometimes I know, and one
of those times is now. So first, we're going to
talk about a Christian loophole called the poophole loophole, and
this is also called saddlebacking. And a Christian friend of
mine said, ah, the butt sluts who are vaginal virgins.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Oh, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
This is the idea that a person, a vagina owning person,
they can remain a virgin by not having vaginal sex
because that's I think for procreation or I don't know
that that's one of the reasons. I feel like, yeah,
it's the normal one, but apparently it's not real sex
if it's in your butt. So you're welcome for that
(09:16):
hot tip, you guys.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
So I saw this on Reddit user al Cus eighty
nine said, I read a conversation someone had with a
priest at one point where he was asked about the
validity of the poopole loophole, and his answer was technically yes,
it wouldn't count as losing your virginity from a Catholic
perspective so interesting.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Maybe the Christians they only count the vagina for virginity.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Maybe some Christians who believe in this loophole, maybe they
don't know that it's it's like a Catholic loophole. And
I don't know, but it would count as sodomy, which
is a worse sin than extramarital sin, apparently according to
this guy. I don't want to say that I'm an
expert on.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Any of that, you know, I mean I could see that.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I mean, don't get me wrong. I know my fucking Bible.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
You have heard about sodom and gomorra.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
So that was one of my favorite stories. Wild dude.
Somebody said that it wasn't about condemning anal sex, but
about being bad hosts.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Are we reading this?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
You know?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
That's what's interesting about the Bible. People got there, different interpretations,
tons of interpretations. We just finished, Ruth. Hmm, yeah, ash
Learn's the Bible is on Patreon, you guys, Patreon dot com,
slash tsfu. We are twenty episodes in, and we are
we just finished, Ruth.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
You're chugging along.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's been two years and it's still I think because
I only hear about it once a month. Yeah, it's
still always so exciting to me. And I love my
co host to death. She's awesome. Shout out Crystal Adams
at Dark Crystal with a K on Instagram. Y'all should
follow her.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
She's super funny on the episode.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Hilarious. Yeah, and she's a comedian first and foremost a podcaster,
a fucking author of comic books.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And shit nice. She does it all.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
She does it all. So the first song that we
are going to listen to, and we're gonna put just
clips in the episode because I can't play the whole
song and it's five minutes, is called The Loophole by
Garfunkel and Oats. And you guys, I'll put links to
(11:36):
all these music videos in the description because you should
probably go watch the whole thing. So Kristin, let's go
ahead and watch the video.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Well, thank you for making me holdly, and thank you
for giving me holes to choose from. And since I'm
not a godless poor they'll have to come in the
back door the air for fucky in the ass. Because
I love Jesus the Good Lord, it that way. Give
me that sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization. It's just
(12:10):
between you and the because everyone knows it's the sex
that God can't see. It's hard to be as pure
as me, to resist the years, to lose my imagine
o virginity, to wait until my marriage bed to get
my husband minnsulid maiden head. So take your cock out,
(12:31):
shove it in my ass, fuck me until you come.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Ah. That was you welcome? That was good.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Okay. So the first thing that I noticed was the
two girls singing We're in the Big Bang theory and
the characters they play in that are like, you know, nerdy,
quiet people, and so like watching this music video, which
please go watch it. It's hilarious and the song itself
doesn't do it, just as you have to watch the
visual with it. It was great and you have to.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Hear the whole thing. Like I said, we didn't play it.
So I found that one on accident when I was
looking for this durfing one that we're gonna get to,
which is so fucking excited to tell you and show you.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
I'm excited. I don't know what dr is, so I'm pumped.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
It might be my fave. No I think soaking. Soaking
is my fave.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
That's the one I've heard of it.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
It's the Mormon practices that are my favorite. Next up,
we have a Catholic practice. This slang is oral is
moral keeping it orally? Morally? No, I don't think so.
The first one. Yeah, so I have some fun background
info on this one. Yes, the scripture that is often
(13:45):
used to justify the oral sex is okay, is the
Song of Solomon is Actually this also is kind of
my fave in a way because it says, and apparently
this does apply, but only within marriage, because like, okay,
premarital sex of any kind is a no no right.
An oral sex is called oral sex because it's sex,
(14:09):
you know. And one of the songs, right, that's what
it's called. I think.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah, the book's called Song of Solomon, but this is
one of the songs.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
It's two point three.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
That means chapter two, verse three.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Okay, So the particular verse that's used is awake, O
north wind and come. I didn't realize when I read
it the first time that you know, it doesn't stop
there but really oh, and it's with an oh, like
you know, the big o orgasm. Yeah, so awake oh,
(14:43):
north wind and come. I'm feeling real sexy vibes already totally. Oh,
just a letter south wind, south south, going south, you're going, yeah,
blow upon my garden the flower that it's maybe wafted abroad. Pheromones, right,
(15:04):
m h, flowery pheromones. Let my beloved come to his
garden that he may eat its choicest fruits.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Get it?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Whoa girl? You know you loved that shit? You fucking
book talks. You know what slut?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
If that was in my book, I would screenshot and
send it to you.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
You would, I would? That is steamy.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
That is some chili peppers on the chili pepper scale.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Whoa heyo.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Also, it says like an apple tree among the trees
of the forest. So is my dearest compared to other men? Oh?
I love to sit in its shadow, and its fruit
is sweet to my taste.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
She is getting it.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
She's thirsty, thirsty. Also, I watched a video on YouTube
and it was like pretty serious in its tone. But
the thumbnail is of a woman on her knees. They're
both clothed, while a man is standing there and there's
a little word bubble coming out of her mouth that says,
(16:08):
please with an exclamation mark in capital letters. Excuse me, sir, No,
that really did not match the tone of the video, nikes,
because the tone of the video is saying like, you know,
this is all very open to interpretation and bloody blue,
(16:30):
but like ticking, pretty factual and serious, so weird, weird stuff.
Maybe though he knew that that kind of thumbnail would
get more clicks. My guess is yeah, YouTubers know that shit,
Yeah they do. I've heard them talking about, like the
fucking thumbnail and the title. It's important, especially the thumbnail.
It's key. There's a recipe.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
You gotta know what you're watching.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Okay. So the song for this one is called Catholic
Girls by Frank Zappa, and I put the lyrics on
the page Trio Christen and on the description for the
listeners so that you guys could read along with the
lyrics as well, because the video din't have a version
with lyrics, and I thought that was boo so silly
(17:12):
love it. I love a lyric video, I know, especially
when the lyrics are fucking hilarious. So let's go ahead
and listen to some of Catholic Girls.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Way, that's the way they go every day and my
mother were singing, you know, for all the class show
(18:06):
there's no cato the sea. Why to blow.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
All the cattle like boys?
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Why b K? Yeah, kind of wow, cat like boys, Colleen.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
That's the end of that one.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Too.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Funny that is, these are all fucking earworms too. You're
welcome that cattle like that's gonna be.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
That's gonna be stuck in the headphone all the way.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
That's the way they go. They'll all be fucking stuck
for sure. Okay, now to my favorite. No, okay, they're
kind of bow my faves, especially because of the names.
I like the name drfing, which is hilarious. Well, you guys,
durfing is a Mormon practice and it's a combination of
(19:12):
the words denim and surfing.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Okay, I don't know what I thought drfing was, but
that was not on my list.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It's dry humping generally in genes because love it. There's
a lot of friction, you know.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Y friction and texture, a little.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Texture, That's what I'm saying, thank you. Yep, this is
the song that I heard about on YouTube video and
fuck it's also on earworm. Yeah, they're all gonna get
stuck in your head but Also it's like a really
fucking pretty dope song the fire. Yeah. Also, you guys,
(19:52):
there's no video with lyrics, so I put the lyrics
on the description.
Speaker 7 (19:59):
We're not gonna fuck until you show me what's up
and them jeans. Okay, if you can make me nuts
through my jeans, then I'll get down on one knee
right now. All right, that's how I know you're the one,
So showing what's up?
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Dirth my shit, we get.
Speaker 7 (20:14):
It popping in the bed and that the team gone.
The shortness you want to fuck it?
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Put my jeans on.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
She climbing a.
Speaker 7 (20:19):
Lumba bean man and can't coom you grunning the Poppa
one s your theme song? Are you little Molly going crazy?
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Um my waist band?
Speaker 7 (20:25):
And she gripping the pumper bone like a caveman baby
popping the cans open its spray tan buddy, I'm bluffing,
not trying to poke it down unless you trading bands
a little bitch. Loom mama want to get a little
wanna get lower?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Walk get hard with the bed post.
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Little mama wanna get low?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Want to get low?
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Wor get hard with the bed post? Keep it up.
You find to get soap finna get soap that ain't sin.
This a loophole.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
Keep it up, you find to get soap finna get
soap that ain't sin.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
That's a loophole.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
That ain't sin. That's a loophole, you guys. That was
loophole produced by Nor Miller. Noel Miller. I don't know
he's from Tiny Meat Gang. He seems chill. I don't
know anything bad about him. Yeah, but fuck Cody Co. Okay,
you guys, if anybody's a Cody Co fan and you
haven't heard about his having well statutorily scraping Tana Manjo,
(21:19):
I don't know how to say her name, but she's
an influencer. I just know this now because I'm on
YouTube watching shit like I never fucking I don't know
this shit. I don't know that Cody Co. I know
that their podcast Tiny Meat Gang is like fucking huge,
especially amongst the younger crown. Yeah, you know, like the
one generation below as people gen x jen Z. I
(21:42):
always forget fact. I don't know, but that one goes
fucking hard. I just play that because I like it.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
That's a good song.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
I had to play that one first because he says
little mama finna get soaked, right, So I feel like
would be like four play to soaking. I would agree
with that you'd probably durf before you soaked.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I would say that that is the natural progression of things. Yeah,
now that I know what durfing is like.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Making us first base durfing a second third is stoking.
Home is the P and the the G. Yeah, P
and V. But y'all are just doing the thrusting and
whatnot yourself? No assistance from a friend? What you ask?
That's got to be awfu talking about Ashley? That's weird.
What which brings us to our final loophole, another Mormon
(22:32):
practice called soaking.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yes, this is the one I did know about.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
How'd you know?
Speaker 3 (22:37):
One of my best friends said that she had a
friend in college that dated a Mormon guy and they
talked about it. I don't know if it actually happened,
but it was like a discussion amongst like is this
a real thing? So that's how I knew about it.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I feel like this is kink here than regular sex.
I mean yeah, because you have another person involved. There's
another person there, whether.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Or not they have clothes on or not. I mean
they do, but they're there.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I think everybody might have clothes on.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yeah, you gotta like just undo just the little bits
I think so that are needed and every Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Again, you guys, please hit me up if you have
dirfed or soaked or literally any of it, any of
the things.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Or if there's something we don't know about.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Oh, let us know if there's something I didn't find,
because we need to know, we really do. Everybody needs
to know absolutely. So you can't come. That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
You can't do that.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
No.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
No, Uh do they use condoms? I feel like no,
because I feel like our condoms is sin.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
I would say probably because the idea is that it's
birth control, and birth control is not allowed in certain
in the Mormon church. Yeah, I would assume.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Also TLC at its finest again, I saw that they
made a one hour spy and I watched a recap
on it called my Husband's Not Gay. Oh my god,
this is another sexual loophole that they made a show
called that. Yes so. According to Church of Jesus Christ
(24:13):
dot Org, SSSA, or same sex attraction is a term
used for people who experience same sex attraction but can
make and keep covenance with God and participate fully in
the church and marry a woman and the woman knows
that they have an ssay husband. It's dude, the fucking
(24:38):
TLC special was see I said, I don't want to
say crazy, but like but also just thinking about like
synonyms of it, like that's nuts, that is nuts, that's nuts.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I'm gonna have to look up a recap of this
because I don't really know that I want to watch, but.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'll take a recap. I'll put the link in the description. Yeah,
Curtis call Or did a recap on it called I
Can't Believe This TV show is real, which was from
three months ago, so it's like a pretty new show.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
They're always inventive over there, you know they are.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
They're like, what will raise people's eyebrows.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I didn't watch the actual show because I prefer a
thirty minute recap and to not give TLC the views. Yeah,
because I like the commentary and it's just it's funny,
like you're definitely laughing, but also you feel bad because
it's sad.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
You're cringing and dying on the inside just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
It's sad that these men are not living the life
that they want. To Yeah, that's because they've been taught
that it's a sin, that it's been Yeah, so they're
like acknowledging the existence of homosexuality, but saying, look, fine,
you want to fucking have impure thoughts, you deal with
(25:52):
God or whatever. Right, I don't know whatever the answer is,
but it's like, but listen, you're here to like fucking
marry a lady and have babies, go forth and be fruitful, right, yep,
And as God said, it was good. Right, But it's
just yeah, I don't know, it's fucked it's fucked up.
And that's so fucked up. TSFU and man TLC the
(26:15):
learning channel or we are learning, they're teaching, they're living
them to the name there they are, they're teaching. We're eaten.
As I believe the kids would say nowadays, I think
they say, oh, oh they ate, they ate if somebody
did good, I think you guys, is not what the
kids are saying.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Let me know, I'm too old for the kids.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I don't know. I don't know what the kids are saying. Oh.
Interesting fact, leaders of the Mormon Church have gone from
historically condemning the use of any birth control is sinful
to allowing it in the present day according to Wikipedia,
So I would hope that the kids are using protection
when they're soaking, because y'all flutes are still being exchanged.
(26:56):
The listeners are like, yeah, we're adults, we know that
you still need that protection. There, you can get pregnant
with pre come right, Yes, maybe there might be some
doctor google a little spermes in there. Yes, yes you can. Yeah, guys,
so oh well, hello, duh, pull out methods bray and
(27:17):
pray you know.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Oh yeah, I don't know that I've ever heard it
called the spray and prey. That's great.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Oh, what's I know?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I don't know why I used.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
The spray and pray for years because birth control did
not work for me. You guys, now use the IUD.
And yes, it feels like somebody has just fucking taken
your insides and like stabbed you to death and murdered
you for like three weeks, but then you're fucking good
to go for like ten years or some shit like that.
It's crazy. And I don't have the marina. I think
(27:46):
that's the one that makes you bleed for like a
fucking year or some shit. The marina has no hormones.
I got the one that has just like a tiny
tiny bit of hormones and it gives you no period,
which kind of sucks sometimes because I'm like, am I
just being a cont for no reason? Or am I
extra hormonal? Right? But I'd still rather get no period
and uh, whatever tiny bit of hormones it has doesn't
(28:07):
affect me, which like every kind of birth control did,
And then when I had to get it changed out,
put a new one in. Not great by any means,
but like it was the initial one that I thought
I was dying. That just doesn't sound fun, but I
highly recommend you guys ten out of ten for real.
Do you remember the rumor in like middle school that
(28:27):
you could get middle school maybe it was high school
that you can get pregnant from swallowing? Come.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
I don't know if I ever heard that.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, okay, but you went to a Christian school.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
I did go to Christian school. I went to a
country school.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And you are also Catholic, yes, and I grew it
all up. So this son's kind of fun because it
has like a good amount of info available. So according
to Wikipedia, you guys, donate to Wikipedia when you can,
like if you can throw them five bucks here there.
It's good. It's good information. You know, it's good to
(29:00):
check the sources provided. But for the most part they
have monitors and editors who run the info by whatever.
So the term soaking comes from the idea that the
lubrication of the vagina is soaking the penis. One source
(29:21):
has stated that the term dick soak was started on
an Internet forum in two thousand and nine, and two
years later head morphed to soaking and gained wider use
in twenty nineteen.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I can't with dick soak, suck.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
You want to dick soak, you want to durf that,
I'll let you fucking dick soak. Maybe I'm might let
you dick soak.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
You're gonna be making your own rap video.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
If you come fucking derf, I'll let you soak. Oh no,
I'm just I'm just like, I'm just rewording. But you
could make your own at this point, I can make
a song about all of them. Oh yeah, but compilation
I don't have really, you know, I was gonna say,
I don't have a songwriting talent like that, But I've
(30:10):
written a couple songs just the lyrics because I don't
know how to play any instruments, but only in like
my deepest depths of depression. That's the only time that
that kind of inspiration comes to me.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
You know, Well, let's not do that. Let's not.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Yeah, you know, the tortured artist thing. Man, that's real.
And you guys, you know in the sources also available
in the show notes, there is a link to the Wikipedia,
and the Wikipedia has a diagram which I highly suggest
you guys check out. So, yeah, look at the sources today.
(30:49):
I don't always say like, look at the show notes
and the sources, but you need to check them out. Yeah,
they're good.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah, that diagram is going to probably live rent free
in my mind for a while. It is too funny.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah, just gonna wake up with that. You remember they
had the no sign on the friction.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Yeah, no, no sign, no friction.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Oh wait, hold on, we forgot one of the most
important aspects of it. Yes, oh my god, hello.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
The really weird part about it.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yeah. So, because just lying there still soaking with the
P and the V, right, you'll get more you know,
stimuli from durfing.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Absolutely, I'd probably be more of a durfer. Honestly, I'd
be danim surfing all day.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I don't want the friend. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
No. So that's what's weird about this one, you guys,
is you have to have a friend there because they
jump on the bed, because if you're making the sex happen,
it's you can't do that. No, you can't do that. No,
that is against the rules. But if you just happened
to have oh ship fell into your vagina. Oh, and
then your friend, oh, hey, I'm just gonna jump on
the bed real quick. What And then the guy who's
(31:56):
he's you know, he's got his wiener in there, he goes, Okay,
stop because I'm he has to tell his friend when
he's gonna because because he can't come, he can't finish.
Now that's against the rules too, So I guess he's
gonna have to communicate to his buddy when he's sometimes come.
I'm uncomfortable. This is the only time I've been uncomfortable
(32:17):
during all this. Actually, I'm like, you know, it's like
the extra person feels so sinful.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
The thing that I thought about was if you're not
allowed to be touching anything, and you're barely allowed to
have clothes off in order to soak, that has got
to be horribly uncomfortable as a woman because they're just
gonna shove it right in.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I love the seriousness and casualness in which we're using
the terms durfing and soaking. You know there are are
lexicon now like little Mama, I would I want to
durf that?
Speaker 4 (32:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (32:54):
That's yeah? Hit me up, you guys, hit me up
an email name.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
My name is Ah.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yes, Like, I'm sure I fucking like humped the carpet
in jeans when I was a kid or something. I'm
sure I'm sure I fucking durfed at some point.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
You know, I just can't get over how uncomfortable because
you know they're counting on, as they said, the vaginal
lubrication to be considered soaking.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
But is there any what's the quote? Uh? These girls
aren't old, dried up hags. Okay, Lou, They're wet, They're
ready to go. That's Jonah hell fucking sucks fuck him?
But oh you were that's super bad.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
I do duh good. That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
And the last one that we are going to listen to,
slash Watch is kind of short. It was a TikTok video.
I guess you just called that a TikTok. Huh, Yeah,
it was a TikTok and apparently you got them banned
from TikTok, which blows my mind because I feel like
people be doing way crazier stuff on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
I mean, just listen to the fuck Boys episode.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah, yeah, I don't understand social me in the way
that they decide to ban some things or not others.
It's very strange.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Can I just say that the subtitle of this video
is y'all ever freak around with soaking.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Freck y'all ever freak around with it?
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Get a little frigger frigger.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Dude, you freaked around with durfing and then soaking freak
around and find out. Okay, Kristen, your mind will be
a blown freak around and find out that's my new
I love that.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
I do like that.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yeah, go too.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Okay, This one is called Soaking USA by zelf on
the Shelf. You can uh subscribe to them on a YouTube. Well,
I think all of this was on YouTube, everything that
we played. Yeah, so here we go for the final
the final little ditty for the finale. I have done
(34:53):
that click click thing way too many times in this
episode I'm bothered by myself. I'm irritated. Shut up as
maybe I'm just hot and bothered.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
You have learned about all kinds of loopholes, and now you're.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Well I read I got that fucking Bible passage in
my head about him come into my garden and drinking
my juicely, I don't know. That's fucking wild shit, dude,
how many people have fucking read that as some spice.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I remember being taught that in I want to say,
eighth grade and they were like, look, this is your
marriage WHOA. I can't remember the exact but I remember
like learning about it, and I was.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Like, what do you think that's because I want you
to get married young?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I don't know what, but that was definitely the purity ring.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
They're trying to fucking make oral sex appealing to eighth graders.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Well, I think they were showing that, like this is
why you need to have your purity ring, because this
is what you've got to look forward to in your marriage,
and this is what it says here about that and
how wonderful intimacy can be when you are married. I
don't remember them specifically talking about different types of sex, but.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Okay, Okay, are you ready to watch.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
This to I am yes, Oh, Jerem, I agree.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I wish there was some kind of way we could
show love for each other physically, but.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I don't want to do anything wrong before we get married.
Speaker 6 (36:19):
Well, there is one way.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
If everybody made a nose, they would not porn a cake.
Let everybody be so until their wedding day. You see,
it is in a sense you don't jack, you lay
so tell the bishop we're so in soaking us.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Room.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
If they can't make a mood, you got a hold
outside Jesus, don't see.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Just what's the deal with this outside?
Speaker 3 (37:12):
I just love jump pumping. That is that's good.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
That's so good. I'm gonna leave a comment to hey,
leave us a rating and a review if you would please.
It really helps. Preferently five stars, you know, honesty is appreciated,
but also five stars. But also keep your mouth shut
and don't leave a review if you don't have anything
nice just but yeah, five stars.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
We should be kind, Yeah, be kind.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Rewind reviews that are nice. And I fucking love the
names in that one. Jerem and what was her name?
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Yeah? What was it?
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Jerem?
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Is what sticks in my hand, Mick Brindley and Jacob
Jake Jake Jake the Friend And in the song they
call it jump humping', which is great, and it's a
Beach Boys parody.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Which means it will definitely get stuck in your head.
Very catchy.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
The names that we've had just to review, the poop hole, loophole,
or saddlebacking. I didn't find an official name for the
oral one, but I did hear the saying oral is moral. Ye,
so that my Christian friend told me that shout out
durfing durf aka jump humping can't and soaking now you
(38:34):
have learned a little something today, or the dick soak,
the dick soak.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Yeah, well I like that one. That's too funny.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
If you know of one that we don't know of,
we need.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
To know about it. Tell us even if it doesn't
have a song. Yeah, we don't need to say it
does that's even cooler for sure, but please, we need
to know. We need to know how fun was this?
Speaker 3 (39:00):
This was lots of fun.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
We've been going to uh deep and dark places, that's
what she said.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Well, they were durfing, no while they were so they were.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Soaking, not one. Yes, dude, get it right, Okay, I know.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
But drving is just so fun to say.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
I know it is. Okay, denim surfing, dnim surfing, dirfing,
La mam, want to durf that put your five oz
ones on? She wanted to put my jeans on, like
is it taking them off?
Speaker 4 (39:31):
Like?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Wellose people would do?
Speaker 3 (39:34):
That's too funny.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
So let us know if you guys know of any others.
Let us know if you've done any of them, or
you know if a friend did, or just what your
favorite one was, Which one would you be most likely
to try?
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Which one made you giggle because during made.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Yeah, but that's the one I would probably try. You know,
I've orally copulated with people, so you know I've kept
it moral, keeping it oral, just keeping it moral. I'm
not gonna say anything about the poopole loophole because I
have opinions and I don't want I'm gonna keep it classy,
San Diego.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
That does not sound fun to me.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
I'm gonna stay in the whales vagina for me. Well,
my friend that I used to work with in my twenties,
she was fucking hilarious. She was so like goodie two
shoes in every fucking way. I feel like she didn't
swear type shit okay, but loved Anal. Loved Anal way
more than Cooochi and Winner. Yes, you guys have five.
(40:39):
We called it the Anal Queen.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
I mean, if she liked it that much, she.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Was so fucking wholesome in every way, but just like
wanted the back door. She was like, no, you guys
don't even know it's so good, and I.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Was like, I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
I'm not gonna say anything else. Shut up, Kristen, Okay,
but yeah, durfing, it's my favorite to say. Soaking sounds.
It weirds me out. You guys, no offense at all,
no shade if you soaked, it's the friend. The friend
freaks me out. Yeah, I don't want Jacob or jerream
in the room. No, I don't want that.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
You don't want to have to tap out.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Although you know, if we're talking like exhibitionism varyurism, but
I die, that's not what it's about though.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Yeah, and if that's your thing, cool do it. But
I don't know that that's their thing.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'm not going to make any specificities about what my
thing is because if it's soaking. I don't want you
guys to judge me, so.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
No judgment.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Maybe that's a fucking kink for some people who aren't Mormon.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
It probably is.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Everything is everything's a kink pretty much. You know, if
there's something that exists, they'll do it.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
People will do it.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Do you know what a fucking Alaskan pipeline is?
Speaker 3 (41:51):
I can't tell you off the top of my head,
but I feel like I have heard the term.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Alright, you guys, just and on. I'm a super weird
fucking no. An Alaskan pipeline is a frozen condom of shit, okay,
that somebody uses as a dildo. Oh my god, I
can't talk. I can't say anymore. Oh my god, I'm embarrassed.
(42:19):
God saw that. I don't even know you weren't soaking,
so he did see that can exists. But I just
feel like Satan's doorbell just got wrung with the amount
of shame I feel, you guys, I'm literally my I
have my fucking handheld up right now because I can't
look Kristen in the eye. I feel ashamed reading that.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
I have heard of that now that you read it,
and I recall, but I don't know why. Maybe it
was something that you know, the guys that I was
friends with in college talked about and laughed about because
I don't know anyone who would try that.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
That screams so many infections.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
That's the worst I've heard of since red rooms, Yeah,
which is some pretty disturbing shit. Yeah, but oh my god,
I just fucking found a Reddit post in Reddit shitty
ask Reddit, I user dumpster underscore sauce, Eh, dumpsters ace question.
(43:19):
Does anyone else poop into a condom and then put
it in the freezer and then later on, once it's
frozen solid, you can use it as a dildo. How
do you go onto a public forum and ask that
I'm shitting you guys, and not into a condom?
Speaker 3 (43:36):
The logistics of that, like you gotta get it in,
like you've got to aim, and I'm not I'm not
all about that.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
I'm so bothered right now. Oh this is funny. I
tried to see who the user was and this account
has been suspended.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Oh yeah, gee, I wonder why they're freezing their popes
and tell them people. I don't know if that was
I feel like if that's something that you're into. Again,
everybody's their thing, but you don't go on read it
and talk about it. That's something you kind of keep private. Germs, yes,
oh my gosh. I'm at the age where I'm like,
oh my gosh, the amount of antibiotics that you're going
(44:10):
to have to be on is probably a ton.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Well after COVID, we learned about germs who was washing
their hands for twenty seconds prior to that. By the way,
I see all motherfuckers in the public restrooms. Nobody's washing
their hands for twenty seconds anymore. Wash that I am,
didn't y'all hear like? So it's not called what's the
one where you're always afraid of being sick?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Hypochondriac.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
That's not what it's called anymore. It's called health anxiety.
But I wonder if germophobe would also fall under health anxiety. Yeah,
probably because it's ick. I just think about the fact
that there's fecal matter everywhere. Did you know that it's everywhere?
This went weird, It did go weird. This went so weird.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
I constantly wash my hands, especially when I cook, because
I'm terrified to put raw chicken on anything. So I
get you.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, I got food poisoning ones from chicken, and that
was like the first that was terrible.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
Yeah, food poisoning is awful.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
So I guess we'll end on just a couple lessons,
which is wash your hands for at least twenty seconds.
Wash your hand with soap and water. It doesn't matter
the temperature of the water because unless you're using literally
boiling water, it doesn't sterilize. It's the soap that's important
and the twenty seconds. Yeah, and also remember God can't
(45:23):
see if you're soaking or doing the poop hole loophole,
But don't you dare ring Satan's doorbell because he can
see or hear. I guess that. Yeah, that's a fact.
Speaker 4 (45:40):
Fucked up jump so fucked up.
Speaker 5 (45:45):
It's just fun.
Hey everyone. You might have noticed that episodes on the
main feed drop pretty randomly, and that's because I generally
upload them whenever I can carve out the time. But
over on Patreon, our patrons are getting weekly episodes without fail,
consistent ad free regular TSFU episodes. For reference, today's episode
here on the main feed is one seventy three, and
(00:22):
they got one seventy five this week, as well as
several other releases during April and may like our Patreon
exclusive segment Ash Learns the Bible.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Want to join the party and get those regular episode
drops like them, then head on over to patreon dot
com slash tsfu and consider supporting us for as little
as five dollars a month. The financial support is obviously
immensely appreciated, but if that's not in your wheelhouse, totally
get it. A five star review or a glowing written
(00:51):
review also is amazing, super duper helpful, and you know,
tell a friend because we are pretty grassroots indie indie.
If you want to check out the patreon for free,
we also have a free version, head on over to
our free patreon if you want to see the lyrics
for the songs in today's episode, enjoy the show. So
(01:12):
that's what's weird about this one, you guys, is you
have to have a friend there because they jump on
the bed.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Because if you're making the sex happen, it's.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
No, you can't do that. No, that is against the rules.
But if you just happen to have fell into your
vagina and then your friend, oh hey, I'm just gonna
jump on the bed real quick.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
What that is so fucked up? It's fucked up, fucked up.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
It is just so damn fuck. That's fucked up.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
That's McDonald Yeah, yeah, I think I'll probably want a
big mac because I'd like, I haven't seen a McDonald's
tmer in a long time, and that just randomly popped
into my head.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Well it's pretty catchy and it's been there for a while.
So I did have McDonald's the other day. I had
some fries.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Oh they were their prize are the bass They just are.
I don't know what it is because I don't think
it's actually potatoes, but whatever it is, the potato product,
maybe a potato compound or something. A potato product, yeah,
just a potato product, a potato flake.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Maybe.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I don't know. Yeah, Well, instead of the McDonald's theme song, today,
I'm gonna get some other earworms for you. You know
what an earworm is.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, a tune you can't get out of your head.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
It sure is.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
So today we're gonna have some earworms about some sexy loopholes.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I can't wait to sing this all day tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh, and you'll have a few to shoes from. We
decided that it's been just so fucked up lately and
we wanted to lighten things up just a tad. So
this is Still That's So fucked Up, a podcast about
make things that you what? Oh go remix? Fuck yeah,
(03:06):
remix that's fucked up? Nice? Yeah, I love it. Trust me.
This is gonna get fucking stuck in your head. Fuck
me and the Ass because I love Jesus good. No,
Actually there's two songs that have the word loophole in
the title end. I'm so excited to share with you.
(03:28):
So I'm your host, Ashley Love Richards.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
And I'm Kristin Jones.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And she's Kristin Jones. Today we're going to talk about
sexual loopholes used in different religions.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Mostly, i'd say by the teens, you know, a little work.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Around to get a little a little freaking dicky.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, you know, because there are apparently types of sex
that God can't see or that don't really count.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's like if you don't move quickly, then you don't
see on the perif.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
So sexual loophole is a way for the kids to
bypass or avoid consequences by finding scripture or some shit.
It's like, well, I don't know, it's fucking says right there.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
You know, it doesn't specify this.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
It's open to interpretation, which is why I think y'all
should know your Bible. If you're gonna be a Bible person,
you know one of the types of religions that reads
the Bible, because you know, I'm all for people having
spiritual practices and shit, but don't just listen to one
fucking person's interpretation, because that's what happens when you like
(04:40):
go to a church, right, So yeah, I mean it's
one pastor or that's.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Literally the only pastor preacher there's prech the Yeah, depending
on your religion.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Father's a Catholic one, that is, yes, that's true. Yes,
as a Catholic girl, I know that you're a Catholic girl.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I did grow up Catholic.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah. Yeah, So let's see if you know about this one,
because we're going to talk about one that's used in
I don't want to say that these are commonly used,
but they're used. So anybody who's like, I've never heard
of that, but like, it's oh, yeah, it's not, It's fine.
It's not everybody did it, but some people for sure
(05:19):
enough that there's names and songs about it.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Right, which I had no idea. I knew there were names,
but I did not know there were songs. So I'm
I'm looking forward to the songs.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Well, my fav YouTuber shout out Coop. He talked about
drfing durfing episode and played a little clip of this
song about drfing. I was like, Yeah, that's catchy as
hell though, and then I went and found it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Durfing is one that I've not heard of.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It's a Mormon practice. So we've got a Christian practice,
a Catholic practice, and two Mormon practices. Because the Mormons
get freaky, you know, they get creative. I guess.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Shout out to our Mormon listeners. How many there are
probably not a lot, Probably some ex Mormons for show
for show, absolutely okay. Also, please you don't have to
comment anywhere publicly because on us, where would you even
do that. We don't fucking even we are going to
post social media. It's we're gonna do that one day.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I did there.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
But you know, if you're on the Patreon, please leave
a comment. And if that's too public, I totally understand.
But you guys, or if you're not on the Patreon,
email me or the discords message me or yeah, fucking anywhere,
go to Patreon no tsfu, thepodcast dot com. You'll get
a link to the discord, the Patreon. The other thing
I mentioned, maybe nothing your email. All the stuff is there,
(06:40):
all the stuff, all the stuff. You can submit a
message that I'll go right to my email. So please
let me know if you've ever done any of these,
you know, and you can just be like, oh, my friend,
and I'll believe you. You can say friend did it.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Or if you've even heard if you didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Fucking no judgment at all. I'm just yeah, you know,
we're just curious. I don't know why I'm doing like
so many wing quin nudge nudges, especially because they can't
really see well but.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I feel like this topic it's like when you say oh,
shoot instead of shit, you know, like when you're a kid,
it's like you can't say the thing, so it's like,
I mean that thing, that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Huh. It's like kind of like that shoot rick.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Oh, frick frick frackin' frick fracking.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You know what. Shout out to shout out to all
of our editors, Kim Gatrius, Ryan Sophia who's onboarding, all
of our past editors. Gatrius cusses more than anybody I
fucking know, except she doesn't say swear words. But she's like, well, gosh,
diddy darn no, I think, gosh dang darn it, I
(07:48):
think that was it. Not like that, I am, but
Gaytrus fucking I Love you is like, well, you know,
it's shoot, gosh darn it, freakin' uh. You know, like
every other word that comes out of her mouth is.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Some control to be able to do that.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
But it's her own cussword, which is you fucking well,
that's just her vocabulary, you know, that's what she says too. Funny.
I'm trying to think if I've ever heard her slip
up and say an actual swear word.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I don't know, but let's fucking go.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Let's do it. I need to know what the kids
are doing these days.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Oh yeah, you do, and sometimes I know, and one
of those times is now. So first, we're going to
talk about a Christian loophole called the poophole loophole, and
this is also called saddlebacking. And a Christian friend of
mine said, ah, the butt sluts who are vaginal virgins.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Oh, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
This is the idea that a person, a vagina owning person,
they can remain a virgin by not having vaginal sex
because that's I think for procreation or I don't know
that that's one of the reasons. I feel like, yeah,
it's the normal one, but apparently it's not real sex
if it's in your butt. So you're welcome for that
(09:16):
hot tip, you guys.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
So I saw this on Reddit user al Cus eighty
nine said, I read a conversation someone had with a
priest at one point where he was asked about the
validity of the poopole loophole, and his answer was technically yes,
it wouldn't count as losing your virginity from a Catholic
perspective so interesting.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Maybe the Christians they only count the vagina for virginity.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Maybe some Christians who believe in this loophole, maybe they
don't know that it's it's like a Catholic loophole. And
I don't know, but it would count as sodomy, which
is a worse sin than extramarital sin, apparently according to
this guy. I don't want to say that I'm an
expert on.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Any of that, you know, I mean I could see that.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I mean, don't get me wrong. I know my fucking Bible.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
You have heard about sodom and gomorra.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
So that was one of my favorite stories. Wild dude.
Somebody said that it wasn't about condemning anal sex, but
about being bad hosts.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Are we reading this?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
You know?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
That's what's interesting about the Bible. People got there, different interpretations,
tons of interpretations. We just finished, Ruth. Hmm, yeah, ash
Learn's the Bible is on Patreon, you guys, Patreon dot com,
slash tsfu. We are twenty episodes in, and we are
we just finished, Ruth.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
You're chugging along.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's been two years and it's still I think because
I only hear about it once a month. Yeah, it's
still always so exciting to me. And I love my
co host to death. She's awesome. Shout out Crystal Adams
at Dark Crystal with a K on Instagram. Y'all should
follow her.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
She's super funny on the episode.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Hilarious. Yeah, and she's a comedian first and foremost a podcaster,
a fucking author of comic books.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And shit nice. She does it all.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
She does it all. So the first song that we
are going to listen to, and we're gonna put just
clips in the episode because I can't play the whole
song and it's five minutes, is called The Loophole by
Garfunkel and Oats. And you guys, I'll put links to
(11:36):
all these music videos in the description because you should
probably go watch the whole thing. So Kristin, let's go
ahead and watch the video.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Well, thank you for making me holdly, and thank you
for giving me holes to choose from. And since I'm
not a godless poor they'll have to come in the
back door the air for fucky in the ass. Because
I love Jesus the Good Lord, it that way. Give
me that sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization. It's just
(12:10):
between you and the because everyone knows it's the sex
that God can't see. It's hard to be as pure
as me, to resist the years, to lose my imagine
o virginity, to wait until my marriage bed to get
my husband minnsulid maiden head. So take your cock out,
(12:31):
shove it in my ass, fuck me until you come.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Ah. That was you welcome? That was good.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Okay. So the first thing that I noticed was the
two girls singing We're in the Big Bang theory and
the characters they play in that are like, you know, nerdy,
quiet people, and so like watching this music video, which
please go watch it. It's hilarious and the song itself
doesn't do it, just as you have to watch the
visual with it. It was great and you have to.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Hear the whole thing. Like I said, we didn't play it.
So I found that one on accident when I was
looking for this durfing one that we're gonna get to,
which is so fucking excited to tell you and show you.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
I'm excited. I don't know what dr is, so I'm pumped.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
It might be my fave. No I think soaking. Soaking
is my fave.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
That's the one I've heard of it.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
It's the Mormon practices that are my favorite. Next up,
we have a Catholic practice. This slang is oral is
moral keeping it orally? Morally? No, I don't think so.
The first one. Yeah, so I have some fun background
info on this one. Yes, the scripture that is often
(13:45):
used to justify the oral sex is okay, is the
Song of Solomon is Actually this also is kind of
my fave in a way because it says, and apparently
this does apply, but only within marriage, because like, okay,
premarital sex of any kind is a no no right.
An oral sex is called oral sex because it's sex,
(14:09):
you know. And one of the songs, right, that's what
it's called. I think.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah, the book's called Song of Solomon, but this is
one of the songs.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
It's two point three.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
That means chapter two, verse three.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Okay, So the particular verse that's used is awake, O
north wind and come. I didn't realize when I read
it the first time that you know, it doesn't stop
there but really oh, and it's with an oh, like
you know, the big o orgasm. Yeah, so awake oh,
(14:43):
north wind and come. I'm feeling real sexy vibes already totally. Oh,
just a letter south wind, south south, going south, you're going, yeah,
blow upon my garden the flower that it's maybe wafted abroad. Pheromones, right,
(15:04):
m h, flowery pheromones. Let my beloved come to his
garden that he may eat its choicest fruits.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Get it?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Whoa girl? You know you loved that shit? You fucking
book talks. You know what slut?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
If that was in my book, I would screenshot and
send it to you.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
You would, I would? That is steamy.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
That is some chili peppers on the chili pepper scale.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Whoa heyo.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Also, it says like an apple tree among the trees
of the forest. So is my dearest compared to other men? Oh?
I love to sit in its shadow, and its fruit
is sweet to my taste.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
She is getting it.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
She's thirsty, thirsty. Also, I watched a video on YouTube
and it was like pretty serious in its tone. But
the thumbnail is of a woman on her knees. They're
both clothed, while a man is standing there and there's
a little word bubble coming out of her mouth that says,
(16:08):
please with an exclamation mark in capital letters. Excuse me, sir, No,
that really did not match the tone of the video, nikes,
because the tone of the video is saying like, you know,
this is all very open to interpretation and bloody blue,
(16:30):
but like ticking, pretty factual and serious, so weird, weird stuff.
Maybe though he knew that that kind of thumbnail would
get more clicks. My guess is yeah, YouTubers know that shit,
Yeah they do. I've heard them talking about, like the
fucking thumbnail and the title. It's important, especially the thumbnail.
It's key. There's a recipe.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
You gotta know what you're watching.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Okay. So the song for this one is called Catholic
Girls by Frank Zappa, and I put the lyrics on
the page Trio Christen and on the description for the
listeners so that you guys could read along with the
lyrics as well, because the video din't have a version
with lyrics, and I thought that was boo so silly
(17:12):
love it. I love a lyric video, I know, especially
when the lyrics are fucking hilarious. So let's go ahead
and listen to some of Catholic Girls.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
Way, that's the way they go every day and my
mother were singing, you know, for all the class show
(18:06):
there's no cato the sea. Why to blow.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
All the cattle like boys?
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Why b K? Yeah, kind of wow, cat like boys, Colleen.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
That's the end of that one.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Too.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Funny that is, these are all fucking earworms too. You're
welcome that cattle like that's gonna be.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
That's gonna be stuck in the headphone all the way.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
That's the way they go. They'll all be fucking stuck
for sure. Okay, now to my favorite. No, okay, they're
kind of bow my faves, especially because of the names.
I like the name drfing, which is hilarious. Well, you guys,
durfing is a Mormon practice and it's a combination of
(19:12):
the words denim and surfing.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Okay, I don't know what I thought drfing was, but
that was not on my list.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It's dry humping generally in genes because love it. There's
a lot of friction, you know.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Y friction and texture, a little.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Texture, That's what I'm saying, thank you. Yep, this is
the song that I heard about on YouTube video and
fuck it's also on earworm. Yeah, they're all gonna get
stuck in your head but Also it's like a really
fucking pretty dope song the fire. Yeah. Also, you guys,
(19:52):
there's no video with lyrics, so I put the lyrics
on the description.
Speaker 7 (19:59):
We're not gonna fuck until you show me what's up
and them jeans. Okay, if you can make me nuts
through my jeans, then I'll get down on one knee
right now. All right, that's how I know you're the one,
So showing what's up?
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Dirth my shit, we get.
Speaker 7 (20:14):
It popping in the bed and that the team gone.
The shortness you want to fuck it?
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Put my jeans on.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
She climbing a.
Speaker 7 (20:19):
Lumba bean man and can't coom you grunning the Poppa
one s your theme song? Are you little Molly going crazy?
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Um my waist band?
Speaker 7 (20:25):
And she gripping the pumper bone like a caveman baby
popping the cans open its spray tan buddy, I'm bluffing,
not trying to poke it down unless you trading bands
a little bitch. Loom mama want to get a little
wanna get lower?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Walk get hard with the bed post.
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Little mama wanna get low?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Want to get low?
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Wor get hard with the bed post? Keep it up.
You find to get soap finna get soap that ain't sin.
This a loophole.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
Keep it up, you find to get soap finna get
soap that ain't sin.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
That's a loophole.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
That ain't sin. That's a loophole, you guys. That was
loophole produced by Nor Miller. Noel Miller. I don't know
he's from Tiny Meat Gang. He seems chill. I don't
know anything bad about him. Yeah, but fuck Cody Co. Okay,
you guys, if anybody's a Cody Co fan and you
haven't heard about his having well statutorily scraping Tana Manjo,
(21:19):
I don't know how to say her name, but she's
an influencer. I just know this now because I'm on
YouTube watching shit like I never fucking I don't know
this shit. I don't know that Cody Co. I know
that their podcast Tiny Meat Gang is like fucking huge,
especially amongst the younger crown. Yeah, you know, like the
one generation below as people gen x jen Z. I
(21:42):
always forget fact. I don't know, but that one goes
fucking hard. I just play that because I like it.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
That's a good song.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
I had to play that one first because he says
little mama finna get soaked, right, So I feel like
would be like four play to soaking. I would agree
with that you'd probably durf before you soaked.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I would say that that is the natural progression of things. Yeah,
now that I know what durfing is like.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Making us first base durfing a second third is stoking.
Home is the P and the the G. Yeah, P
and V. But y'all are just doing the thrusting and
whatnot yourself? No assistance from a friend? What you ask?
That's got to be awfu talking about Ashley? That's weird.
What which brings us to our final loophole, another Mormon
(22:32):
practice called soaking.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yes, this is the one I did know about.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
How'd you know?
Speaker 3 (22:37):
One of my best friends said that she had a
friend in college that dated a Mormon guy and they
talked about it. I don't know if it actually happened,
but it was like a discussion amongst like is this
a real thing? So that's how I knew about it.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I feel like this is kink here than regular sex.
I mean yeah, because you have another person involved. There's
another person there, whether.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Or not they have clothes on or not. I mean
they do, but they're there.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I think everybody might have clothes on.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yeah, you gotta like just undo just the little bits
I think so that are needed and every Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Again, you guys, please hit me up if you have
dirfed or soaked or literally any of it, any of
the things.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Or if there's something we don't know about.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Oh, let us know if there's something I didn't find,
because we need to know, we really do. Everybody needs
to know absolutely. So you can't come. That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
You can't do that.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
No.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
No, Uh do they use condoms? I feel like no,
because I feel like our condoms is sin.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
I would say probably because the idea is that it's
birth control, and birth control is not allowed in certain
in the Mormon church. Yeah, I would assume.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Also TLC at its finest again, I saw that they
made a one hour spy and I watched a recap
on it called my Husband's Not Gay. Oh my god,
this is another sexual loophole that they made a show
called that. Yes so. According to Church of Jesus Christ
(24:13):
dot Org, SSSA, or same sex attraction is a term
used for people who experience same sex attraction but can
make and keep covenance with God and participate fully in
the church and marry a woman and the woman knows
that they have an ssay husband. It's dude, the fucking
(24:38):
TLC special was see I said, I don't want to
say crazy, but like but also just thinking about like
synonyms of it, like that's nuts, that is nuts, that's nuts.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I'm gonna have to look up a recap of this
because I don't really know that I want to watch, but.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'll take a recap. I'll put the link in the description. Yeah,
Curtis call Or did a recap on it called I
Can't Believe This TV show is real, which was from
three months ago, so it's like a pretty new show.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
They're always inventive over there, you know they are.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
They're like, what will raise people's eyebrows.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I didn't watch the actual show because I prefer a
thirty minute recap and to not give TLC the views. Yeah,
because I like the commentary and it's just it's funny,
like you're definitely laughing, but also you feel bad because
it's sad.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
You're cringing and dying on the inside just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
It's sad that these men are not living the life
that they want. To Yeah, that's because they've been taught
that it's a sin, that it's been Yeah, so they're
like acknowledging the existence of homosexuality, but saying, look, fine,
you want to fucking have impure thoughts, you deal with
(25:52):
God or whatever. Right, I don't know whatever the answer is,
but it's like, but listen, you're here to like fucking
marry a lady and have babies, go forth and be fruitful, right, yep,
And as God said, it was good. Right, But it's
just yeah, I don't know, it's fucked it's fucked up.
And that's so fucked up. TSFU and man TLC the
(26:15):
learning channel or we are learning, they're teaching, they're living
them to the name there they are, they're teaching. We're eaten.
As I believe the kids would say nowadays, I think
they say, oh, oh they ate, they ate if somebody
did good, I think you guys, is not what the
kids are saying.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Let me know, I'm too old for the kids.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I don't know. I don't know what the kids are saying. Oh.
Interesting fact, leaders of the Mormon Church have gone from
historically condemning the use of any birth control is sinful
to allowing it in the present day according to Wikipedia,
So I would hope that the kids are using protection
when they're soaking, because y'all flutes are still being exchanged.
(26:56):
The listeners are like, yeah, we're adults, we know that
you still need that protection. There, you can get pregnant
with pre come right, Yes, maybe there might be some
doctor google a little spermes in there. Yes, yes you can. Yeah, guys,
so oh well, hello, duh, pull out methods bray and
(27:17):
pray you know.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Oh yeah, I don't know that I've ever heard it
called the spray and prey. That's great.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Oh, what's I know?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I don't know why I used.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
The spray and pray for years because birth control did
not work for me. You guys, now use the IUD.
And yes, it feels like somebody has just fucking taken
your insides and like stabbed you to death and murdered
you for like three weeks, but then you're fucking good
to go for like ten years or some shit like that.
It's crazy. And I don't have the marina. I think
(27:46):
that's the one that makes you bleed for like a
fucking year or some shit. The marina has no hormones.
I got the one that has just like a tiny
tiny bit of hormones and it gives you no period,
which kind of sucks sometimes because I'm like, am I
just being a cont for no reason? Or am I
extra hormonal? Right? But I'd still rather get no period
and uh, whatever tiny bit of hormones it has doesn't
(28:07):
affect me, which like every kind of birth control did,
And then when I had to get it changed out,
put a new one in. Not great by any means,
but like it was the initial one that I thought
I was dying. That just doesn't sound fun, but I
highly recommend you guys ten out of ten for real.
Do you remember the rumor in like middle school that
(28:27):
you could get middle school maybe it was high school
that you can get pregnant from swallowing? Come.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
I don't know if I ever heard that.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, okay, but you went to a Christian school.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
I did go to Christian school. I went to a
country school.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And you are also Catholic, yes, and I grew it
all up. So this son's kind of fun because it
has like a good amount of info available. So according
to Wikipedia, you guys, donate to Wikipedia when you can,
like if you can throw them five bucks here there.
It's good. It's good information. You know, it's good to
(29:00):
check the sources provided. But for the most part they
have monitors and editors who run the info by whatever.
So the term soaking comes from the idea that the
lubrication of the vagina is soaking the penis. One source
(29:21):
has stated that the term dick soak was started on
an Internet forum in two thousand and nine, and two
years later head morphed to soaking and gained wider use
in twenty nineteen.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I can't with dick soak, suck.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
You want to dick soak, you want to durf that,
I'll let you fucking dick soak. Maybe I'm might let
you dick soak.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
You're gonna be making your own rap video.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
If you come fucking derf, I'll let you soak. Oh no,
I'm just I'm just like, I'm just rewording. But you
could make your own at this point, I can make
a song about all of them. Oh yeah, but compilation
I don't have really, you know, I was gonna say,
I don't have a songwriting talent like that, But I've
(30:10):
written a couple songs just the lyrics because I don't
know how to play any instruments, but only in like
my deepest depths of depression. That's the only time that
that kind of inspiration comes to me.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
You know, Well, let's not do that. Let's not.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Yeah, you know, the tortured artist thing. Man, that's real.
And you guys, you know in the sources also available
in the show notes, there is a link to the Wikipedia,
and the Wikipedia has a diagram which I highly suggest
you guys check out. So, yeah, look at the sources today.
(30:49):
I don't always say like, look at the show notes
and the sources, but you need to check them out. Yeah,
they're good.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah, that diagram is going to probably live rent free
in my mind for a while. It is too funny.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah, just gonna wake up with that. You remember they
had the no sign on the friction.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Yeah, no, no sign, no friction.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Oh wait, hold on, we forgot one of the most
important aspects of it. Yes, oh my god, hello.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
The really weird part about it.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yeah. So, because just lying there still soaking with the
P and the V, right, you'll get more you know,
stimuli from durfing.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Absolutely, I'd probably be more of a durfer. Honestly, I'd
be danim surfing all day.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I don't want the friend. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
No. So that's what's weird about this one, you guys,
is you have to have a friend there because they
jump on the bed, because if you're making the sex happen,
it's you can't do that. No, you can't do that. No,
that is against the rules. But if you just happened
to have oh ship fell into your vagina. Oh, and
then your friend, oh, hey, I'm just gonna jump on
the bed real quick. What And then the guy who's
(31:56):
he's you know, he's got his wiener in there, he goes, Okay,
stop because I'm he has to tell his friend when
he's gonna because because he can't come, he can't finish.
Now that's against the rules too, So I guess he's
gonna have to communicate to his buddy when he's sometimes come.
I'm uncomfortable. This is the only time I've been uncomfortable
(32:17):
during all this. Actually, I'm like, you know, it's like
the extra person feels so sinful.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
The thing that I thought about was if you're not
allowed to be touching anything, and you're barely allowed to
have clothes off in order to soak, that has got
to be horribly uncomfortable as a woman because they're just
gonna shove it right in.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I love the seriousness and casualness in which we're using
the terms durfing and soaking. You know there are are
lexicon now like little Mama, I would I want to
durf that?
Speaker 4 (32:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (32:54):
That's yeah? Hit me up, you guys, hit me up
an email name.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
My name is Ah.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yes, Like, I'm sure I fucking like humped the carpet
in jeans when I was a kid or something. I'm
sure I'm sure I fucking durfed at some point.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
You know, I just can't get over how uncomfortable because
you know they're counting on, as they said, the vaginal
lubrication to be considered soaking.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
But is there any what's the quote? Uh? These girls
aren't old, dried up hags. Okay, Lou, They're wet, They're
ready to go. That's Jonah hell fucking sucks fuck him?
But oh you were that's super bad.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
I do duh good. That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
And the last one that we are going to listen to,
slash Watch is kind of short. It was a TikTok video.
I guess you just called that a TikTok. Huh, Yeah,
it was a TikTok and apparently you got them banned
from TikTok, which blows my mind because I feel like
people be doing way crazier stuff on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
I mean, just listen to the fuck Boys episode.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah, yeah, I don't understand social me in the way
that they decide to ban some things or not others.
It's very strange.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Can I just say that the subtitle of this video
is y'all ever freak around with soaking.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Freck y'all ever freak around with it?
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Get a little frigger frigger.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Dude, you freaked around with durfing and then soaking freak
around and find out. Okay, Kristen, your mind will be
a blown freak around and find out that's my new
I love that.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
I do like that.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yeah, go too.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Okay, This one is called Soaking USA by zelf on
the Shelf. You can uh subscribe to them on a YouTube. Well,
I think all of this was on YouTube, everything that
we played. Yeah, so here we go for the final
the final little ditty for the finale. I have done
(34:53):
that click click thing way too many times in this
episode I'm bothered by myself. I'm irritated. Shut up as
maybe I'm just hot and bothered.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
You have learned about all kinds of loopholes, and now you're.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Well I read I got that fucking Bible passage in
my head about him come into my garden and drinking
my juicely, I don't know. That's fucking wild shit, dude,
how many people have fucking read that as some spice.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I remember being taught that in I want to say,
eighth grade and they were like, look, this is your
marriage WHOA. I can't remember the exact but I remember
like learning about it, and I was.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Like, what do you think that's because I want you
to get married young?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I don't know what, but that was definitely the purity ring.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
They're trying to fucking make oral sex appealing to eighth graders.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Well, I think they were showing that, like this is
why you need to have your purity ring, because this
is what you've got to look forward to in your marriage,
and this is what it says here about that and
how wonderful intimacy can be when you are married. I
don't remember them specifically talking about different types of sex, but.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Okay, Okay, are you ready to watch.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
This to I am yes, Oh, Jerem, I agree.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I wish there was some kind of way we could
show love for each other physically, but.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I don't want to do anything wrong before we get married.
Speaker 6 (36:19):
Well, there is one way.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
If everybody made a nose, they would not porn a cake.
Let everybody be so until their wedding day. You see,
it is in a sense you don't jack, you lay
so tell the bishop we're so in soaking us.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Room.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
If they can't make a mood, you got a hold
outside Jesus, don't see.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Just what's the deal with this outside?
Speaker 3 (37:12):
I just love jump pumping. That is that's good.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
That's so good. I'm gonna leave a comment to hey,
leave us a rating and a review if you would please.
It really helps. Preferently five stars, you know, honesty is appreciated,
but also five stars. But also keep your mouth shut
and don't leave a review if you don't have anything
nice just but yeah, five stars.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
We should be kind, Yeah, be kind.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Rewind reviews that are nice. And I fucking love the
names in that one. Jerem and what was her name?
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Yeah? What was it?
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Jerem?
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Is what sticks in my hand, Mick Brindley and Jacob
Jake Jake Jake the Friend And in the song they
call it jump humping', which is great, and it's a
Beach Boys parody.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Which means it will definitely get stuck in your head.
Very catchy.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
The names that we've had just to review, the poop hole, loophole,
or saddlebacking. I didn't find an official name for the
oral one, but I did hear the saying oral is moral. Ye,
so that my Christian friend told me that shout out
durfing durf aka jump humping can't and soaking now you
(38:34):
have learned a little something today, or the dick soak,
the dick soak.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Yeah, well I like that one. That's too funny.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
If you know of one that we don't know of,
we need.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
To know about it. Tell us even if it doesn't
have a song. Yeah, we don't need to say it
does that's even cooler for sure, but please, we need
to know. We need to know how fun was this?
Speaker 3 (39:00):
This was lots of fun.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
We've been going to uh deep and dark places, that's
what she said.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Well, they were durfing, no while they were so they were.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Soaking, not one. Yes, dude, get it right, Okay, I know.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
But drving is just so fun to say.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
I know it is. Okay, denim surfing, dnim surfing, dirfing,
La mam, want to durf that put your five oz
ones on? She wanted to put my jeans on, like
is it taking them off?
Speaker 4 (39:31):
Like?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Wellose people would do?
Speaker 3 (39:34):
That's too funny.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
So let us know if you guys know of any others.
Let us know if you've done any of them, or
you know if a friend did, or just what your
favorite one was, Which one would you be most likely
to try?
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Which one made you giggle because during made.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Yeah, but that's the one I would probably try. You know,
I've orally copulated with people, so you know I've kept
it moral, keeping it oral, just keeping it moral. I'm
not gonna say anything about the poopole loophole because I
have opinions and I don't want I'm gonna keep it classy,
San Diego.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
That does not sound fun to me.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
I'm gonna stay in the whales vagina for me. Well,
my friend that I used to work with in my twenties,
she was fucking hilarious. She was so like goodie two
shoes in every fucking way. I feel like she didn't
swear type shit okay, but loved Anal. Loved Anal way
more than Cooochi and Winner. Yes, you guys have five.
(40:39):
We called it the Anal Queen.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
I mean, if she liked it that much, she.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Was so fucking wholesome in every way, but just like
wanted the back door. She was like, no, you guys
don't even know it's so good, and I.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Was like, I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
I'm not gonna say anything else. Shut up, Kristen, Okay,
but yeah, durfing, it's my favorite to say. Soaking sounds.
It weirds me out. You guys, no offense at all,
no shade if you soaked, it's the friend. The friend
freaks me out. Yeah, I don't want Jacob or jerream
in the room. No, I don't want that.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
You don't want to have to tap out.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Although you know, if we're talking like exhibitionism varyurism, but
I die, that's not what it's about though.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Yeah, and if that's your thing, cool do it. But
I don't know that that's their thing.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'm not going to make any specificities about what my
thing is because if it's soaking. I don't want you
guys to judge me, so.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
No judgment.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Maybe that's a fucking kink for some people who aren't Mormon.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
It probably is.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Everything is everything's a kink pretty much. You know, if
there's something that exists, they'll do it.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
People will do it.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Do you know what a fucking Alaskan pipeline is?
Speaker 3 (41:51):
I can't tell you off the top of my head,
but I feel like I have heard the term.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Alright, you guys, just and on. I'm a super weird
fucking no. An Alaskan pipeline is a frozen condom of shit, okay,
that somebody uses as a dildo. Oh my god, I
can't talk. I can't say anymore. Oh my god, I'm embarrassed.
(42:19):
God saw that. I don't even know you weren't soaking,
so he did see that can exists. But I just
feel like Satan's doorbell just got wrung with the amount
of shame I feel, you guys, I'm literally my I
have my fucking handheld up right now because I can't
look Kristen in the eye. I feel ashamed reading that.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
I have heard of that now that you read it,
and I recall, but I don't know why. Maybe it
was something that you know, the guys that I was
friends with in college talked about and laughed about because
I don't know anyone who would try that.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
That screams so many infections.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
That's the worst I've heard of since red rooms, Yeah,
which is some pretty disturbing shit. Yeah, but oh my god,
I just fucking found a Reddit post in Reddit shitty
ask Reddit, I user dumpster underscore sauce, Eh, dumpsters ace question.
(43:19):
Does anyone else poop into a condom and then put
it in the freezer and then later on, once it's
frozen solid, you can use it as a dildo. How
do you go onto a public forum and ask that
I'm shitting you guys, and not into a condom?
Speaker 3 (43:36):
The logistics of that, like you gotta get it in,
like you've got to aim, and I'm not I'm not
all about that.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
I'm so bothered right now. Oh this is funny. I
tried to see who the user was and this account
has been suspended.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Oh yeah, gee, I wonder why they're freezing their popes
and tell them people. I don't know if that was
I feel like if that's something that you're into. Again,
everybody's their thing, but you don't go on read it
and talk about it. That's something you kind of keep private. Germs, yes,
oh my gosh. I'm at the age where I'm like,
oh my gosh, the amount of antibiotics that you're going
(44:10):
to have to be on is probably a ton.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Well after COVID, we learned about germs who was washing
their hands for twenty seconds prior to that. By the way,
I see all motherfuckers in the public restrooms. Nobody's washing
their hands for twenty seconds anymore. Wash that I am,
didn't y'all hear like? So it's not called what's the
one where you're always afraid of being sick?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Hypochondriac.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
That's not what it's called anymore. It's called health anxiety.
But I wonder if germophobe would also fall under health anxiety. Yeah,
probably because it's ick. I just think about the fact
that there's fecal matter everywhere. Did you know that it's everywhere?
This went weird, It did go weird. This went so weird.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
I constantly wash my hands, especially when I cook, because
I'm terrified to put raw chicken on anything. So I
get you.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, I got food poisoning ones from chicken, and that
was like the first that was terrible.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
Yeah, food poisoning is awful.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
So I guess we'll end on just a couple lessons,
which is wash your hands for at least twenty seconds.
Wash your hand with soap and water. It doesn't matter
the temperature of the water because unless you're using literally
boiling water, it doesn't sterilize. It's the soap that's important
and the twenty seconds. Yeah, and also remember God can't
(45:23):
see if you're soaking or doing the poop hole loophole,
But don't you dare ring Satan's doorbell because he can
see or hear. I guess that. Yeah, that's a fact.
Speaker 4 (45:40):
Fucked up jump so fucked up.
Speaker 5 (45:45):
It's just fun.
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