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November 12, 2024 18 mins

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Hi MY DEARS,

Hope all is well! Voting for a black woman for president was a moment of hope that quickly turned into a whirlwind of emotions with the unexpected election results. Join me on this emotional journey as I navigate the aftermath of political upheaval, confronting the harsh realities of those around me who supported an opposing candidate. This episode of That's so Thinkative offers a deeply personal reflection on resilience, particularly the resilience of black women who, despite consistently lifting others, often find themselves let down. I share insights into the emotional toll the election has taken on communities like mine and discuss the necessity of a social media cleanse to protect my mental health.

Switching gears, I open up about my personal growth, revisiting my journey from seeking validation from others to embracing self-love and worth. From humorous tales of past relationships to reflecting on my 2015 goals, I celebrate how far I've come and where I aim to go. You'll also get a glimpse of my passion for basketball, focusing on the LA Clippers' latest games, players, and season highlights. This episode promises a blend of emotional reflection, personal triumphs, and a dash of sports enthusiasm, all woven together to provide an engaging and thought-provoking experience.


TimeCodes:

0:01

Processing Election Results and Moving Forward

7:17

Reflecting on the Notes in my phone

13:20

What's going on with Clippers - Basketball Thoughts





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-da baddest

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Psst, I see stupid people.
Hi guys, welcome back to.

(00:32):
That's so Thinkative.
I'm your host, janelle, aka theBaddest.
I hope everyone is doing welland in this episode I'm going to
share notes from my phone, likeI did in season one.
But before I get to that Igotta talk about the election.
I gots to talk about theelection.
It's been a few days so I'vehad some time to truly process

(00:53):
it and truly feel all thefeelings.
Because the first feeling wasfuck all y'all.
The first feeling was givingfuck all y'all hoes.
But now that I've sat with itand, you know, listened to some
podcasts who kind of touched onit and just honestly went on

(01:13):
with my life, I'm like, okay,you know what's next.
Now, the day of the election, Imade it a point to look really
cute.
I wore a blazer, I dressed inmy little fancy little outfit,
had my hair laid down, woremakeup, all that, all the nines.
I wanted to look really prettybecause I'm about to go vote for
a black woman for president.
So I was so excited I got toleave work early.
It was a smooth experience.

(01:36):
I did not have no care in theworld because all my timeline
was filled with Kamalasupporters.
Like everywhere I went, it wasjust like, okay, kamala, kamala,
kamala.
So I just didn't even likefathom.
Like it was not like 2016,where it seemed crazy, like
blasphemous, that he would win.
Like it was just so absurd thatI just didn't even consider it.

(01:57):
Because this one in thebeginning I was kind of didn't
know who was going to get picked.
When it was Joe Biden and him,but when it was her, and after
the debate and after all of likeall of this stuff, I was like
yeah, there's just no way peoplewould vote for him again after
hearing how he can't evencomplete a sentence.
So I was just like it's, it'sgoing to be OK, this is going to
be a step in the rightdirection.

(02:18):
And shout out to Kamala's PR orsocial media team they were
eating, eating so bad and I Icommend them from that because
that's all I saw on my timeline.
So that's probably why I didn'teven consider.
But also I do have the otherside blocked.
Like anytime I see anythingregarding the other side, I

(02:40):
block them.
So that could be a big reasonwhy I did not see any of them on
my timeline.
And so that night when I gothome and I saw like the polling,
I was kind of getting a littlenervous, a little nervous.
But then I saw this tiktok andthis girl was like there's this
blue shift that's going tohappen after this red mirage.
So it's going to be all.
All states are going to be redfor a while and then it's just

(03:01):
going to be this blue shiftbecause Republicans votes get
casted first for some reason.
And so I was waiting andwaiting and waiting for that
blue shift and it never came,and at a certain point I was
just like I don't want to keepon feeling like I'm feeling
because it was so uncomfortableit was like it wasn't 2016
uncomfortable where I was justlike oh my God, oh my God.

(03:23):
It was more so like oh, please,god, please, please, and I
decided it's time to take myselfto bed because I can't do
anything about it.
I did my part and that's all Ican really do.
And so I tried to go to sleepand I was waking up to fireworks
.
So I thought, oh wait, hold on,hold on.
When I looked, looked last itwasn't looking too good for my

(03:45):
girl, but why would they beshooting fireworks in my area if
it wasn't, you know, a win forus.
So I quickly checked my phone,saw the results, turned my phone
off, looked up to the ceilingand cried.
I cried because now I feel likethe people who look like me are

(04:06):
going to be on tens even more,and it's just a scary, fearful
thought that so many people aregoing to be affected and and
hurt by this and this, this,this, this decision and what is
going to mean for the future.
And I was just feeling sooverwhelmed with all these
things that are so far out of mycontrol for the future.
And I was just feeling sooverwhelmed with all these
things that are so far out of mycontrol and I tried to sleep.

(04:27):
I had the worst dream ever thatyou can have.
All my exes was in my dream,bitch.
It was awful.
It was awful.
I woke up like this is awful.
But the next day was worse.
The next day was worse becauseI did not know I knew so many
Trump supporters, did not knowthat I had to block so many

(04:48):
people.
This girl on TikTok said gocheck who's following him and go
unfollowing.
Unfollow them.
I didn't just unfollow them, Iblocked them.
It was somebody in my closefriends that was a Trump
supporter girl my close friendsand it's only like not my actual
close friends, let's not, let'snot do that but the close
friends on Instagram it was.
I have like 20 people in thereand one of them was following

(05:11):
that man and I was likeabsolutely not women, non-black
women, um, men, dumb men, all Ijust like y'all are so stupid,
it's so stupid.
So it was.
It was really appalling to seehow many people were into that
and how many people had tounfollow and blog.
But we move on.

(05:33):
We move on.
We like always black women andblack people, black women in
particular.
We showed up for what we neededto do.
We always show up for everybodyelse and ourselves.
Well, we always show up foreverybody else and ourselves.
Well, we always show up foreverybody else, hoping that
they'll help, hoping thatthey'll show up for us for once.
But again, you know, I think themost frustrating part is just a

(05:55):
reminder to black women inparticular that we're just never
enough.
We're never enough and I don'treally think of it as they hate
us anymore.
I'm just, I'm going to take itas if they just not like us.
They just not like us and I'mnot going to be that person
who's just like.
You know, it's me versus, it'sus versus them at all times,

(06:17):
because I don't ever want to getto that place, but it was.
It was a really.
I was really angry.
I was really angry, and I'mallowed to be angry, and that's
okay.
Now I feel a little better andlife goes on.
Life goes on.
I'm wishing you so much loveduring this time, these next few

(06:38):
years, and, girl, yeah, yeah.
I'm glad I got that off mychest, though, because it was.
It was bothering me.
Let's get into this episode.
So I wanted to share my notes,because I love being an

(06:59):
oversharer, so I'm going toshare two notes in my phone, and
maybe three, let's see.
Let's see how we're feeling.
Okay, let's see how we'refeeling.
Let's share the first one,though, okay, okay.
This first note was writtenApril 19th 2016 at 102 AM.
This was a few days before mybirthday.
I have always seeked lovewaiting by the phone for a text

(07:21):
or a call, waiting for thosemoments you see on TV where the
boy finally sees a friend.
That's more than just a friend.
I have embarrassed myself forlove.
I have let my pride andinsecurities destroy
relationships.
I have settled in arms thatnever wanted me.
I have constructed a life withme and him in nights before my
bed, knowing that he will neverwant me the way I want him.
I have cried a lot over a boywho never gave me a second

(07:45):
thought.
I have allowed him to make mefeel so small, but today I
choose to be loved, not by him,not by anyone but me.
So this note in particular stoodout to me because it reminds me
of a version of me that I amconstantly trying to understand

(08:08):
and nurture and love and showappreciation to, but also, like
girl, chill out.
Um, this version of me that Ithat is so insecure and so
desperate for love that she'swilling to settle in places that
don't necessarily feed her orvalue her.
This version of me that is sogung-ho about this happy ending

(08:34):
and this picture-perfect life orlove that she thinks she wants
and all this stuff, just tryingto understand that version of me
and not be so hard on her somuch.
I think I've spent a lot of mytime centering men, making them
my priority, forgetting allabout myself and that note is a

(08:55):
clear example of that but alsome kind of like recognizing that
I need to focus on myself and Ineed to love myself first, and
it's so annoying to say that somuch.
It's so annoying to be like Ineed to do that, like I don't
think it's wrong for me to wantlove.
I don't think it's wrong for meto want these things, but it
comes to a point where I'msacrificing myself and

(09:17):
sacrificing how I feel aboutmyself and my self-esteem just
for an ounce of someone to showlove for me or some kind of
validation from someone elseoutside of me, especially men.
So yeah, girl, I she comes upfrom time to time, but I know
how to like.
I know how to move around hermore.

(09:47):
The next note was writtenJanuary 5th 2015, 2015, 6.44 pm.
So this is about what year wein.
Nine years ago I was at acommunity college.
It was like probably my firstreal year, our first full year.
So goals in 2015.
Get a 3.0 GPA or above springsemester.

(10:09):
I did that.
I ate that up.
I think I got like a 3.7.
Get a B in stats.
I got a C in stats and that wasthe only C I ever got in
college and I was pissed.
Get an A in English.
Did that?
Never say sorry or makeyourself small?
Still, working on that one,become a better basketball
player, I quit.
Become a better shooter frommid-range Nope, I'm not Paul

(10:33):
George or DeMar DeRozan.
Didn't do that.
Get better from three Nope,can't.
Didn't do that.
Better finisher I think I gotbetter towards the end.
Become more aware and a betterpasser I think I got better at
passing.
I think I got a little betterwhen I was the next year.

(10:53):
Become more confident Eightthat one up.
Eight that one up.
2015 would look at me and belike who the hell is this bitch?
Yeah, yeah.
Stay focused on your goals.
This one I'm still working onDiscipline is it's, it's, it's,
it's tough, tough, it's tough,but I've gotten a lot better at
that.
Love yourself.

(11:14):
Eating that one up, too.
Eating that one up, too.
Staying off social media so muchI'm doing that right now.
I'm actually off of socialmedia.
I'm having Asia's shout out toAsia.
She's handily on my socialsright now.
So go out more.
Definitely doing that.
I've definitely been going outa lot more in the past few years

(11:34):
, especially by living alone,just like trying to go meet new
people and going out to clubs bymyself and just doing all these
things.
I love doing that.
I've been doing that.
Haven't been doing that so muchrecently, but that's just
because it's a lot.
Every time I go outside it'slike a hundred dollars.
So become more comfortable withmyself.
Every day I get a little betterat that.

(11:55):
So I think I'm doing that,those lists.
There's a few things that don'tapply anymore, but most of
these things still apply and I'mstill getting better at these
things.
So shout out to me Now.
This one isn't necessarily anote, it's just extremely funny.
Okay, so on June 25th of someyear, I wrote I threw away your

(12:20):
toothbrush.
Giving you it's pretty muchgiving.
Like Summer Walker, I threwaway your love letters.
I thought it'd make me feelbetter.
It's very much so, givensession 32.
And then now, a week later, aweek later after I threw away
that toothbrush, july 2nd of thesame year, we had sex.

(12:42):
It was great Bitch.
It was great bitch.
A week, a week later, youdidn't even give it.
A month.
A week later, oh my god, mygirl was going through it.
She was going through itanyways.

(13:02):
That's it for the notes that Ihave in my phone.
I think that that that's enoughfor now.
That's enough for now.
I didn't get any submissionsfor the question of the week
where you get to share some ofyour notes in your phone.
I get it.
I get it, but next week, let's,let's see if we can get some,
some submissions.
To wrap this episode up, I wantto start this segment called

(13:27):
what's going on with theClippers.
If you guys don't know, I'm adiehard Clipper fan.
I've been a Clipper fan since Iwas 14.
It's a whole.
It's a whole thing.
It's a whole thing.
So I wanted to start thissegment where I kind of, here
and there, talk about how I'mbuilding, about the Clippers and

(13:48):
you know, just giving my littlethoughts around the league.
So let's, let's, let's, let'schat about it really quickly.
If you're not into basketball,I completely understand, but I
am, so I actually let's takethat back.
I actually have been taking areal step back towards
basketball.
I used to have NBA League passand Clipper Vision.
I canceled both of mysubscriptions just because I

(14:10):
wasn't watching it frequentlyenough and basketball has not
been as exciting to me as itonce was.
Like I used to be so excitedabout basketball and watching
games and stuff like that.
The NBA, for me, it's just, Idon't know.
It has its moments and it'sjust a thing.
I think towards the end of theseason is when it starts to
really feel like okay, this iswhat I want to see, you know,
and that's just what it is.

(14:31):
Some notes I have for theClippers is shout-out to Jeff
Van Gundy.
I did not know that we pickedhim up during the summer, but I
think he's our defensivecoordinator and our defense has
looked really good this season.
I saw one of the commentatorssay that we have one of the best
defensive teams through thefirst three quarters.
The first three quarters iscrazy.

(14:52):
So shout out to Norman Powell.
His game this season so far hasbeen so good.
He was so good.
He's been so good with theClippers since coming.
Let's just be real, he's just agreat player.
He's from California.
He's just a great player.

(15:13):
But it's amazing to see how muchcircumstances play in a
player's visibility, because youreally won't know how great a
player is if he doesn't get allthe playing time that he
deserves.
And Norman Powell starting now,I think, because Kawhi is out
has really shown just how greathe is.
Even last year I knew he wasgreat, but it's just like 37
points the other day and it'slike he's doing it on not
shooting a lot, like it'd belike six shots and he already

(15:33):
has like 15 points, like bro,what that's.
So if that's crazy, it's givingkairi irving, because you know
kairi is good for not shooting alot but having a lot of points.
I think he just had like 50points a couple days ago.
I don't even know, and it'scrazy.
Amir Coffey shout out to AmirCoffey he's another one of those
players that you just you gotto know, to know, and since

(15:57):
coming on the Clippers everytime, every year, he gets better
and better.
He always is like a bright spotin every Clipper season.
So really like them him andTerrence Mann.
I want Terrence Mann to becomemore of a scorer, but his
defensive thing just makes upfor everything, so I really
don't care.
He had a play or a sequencetoward the end of the game in

(16:19):
one of these games I waswatching Can't remember, they
all blend together and he wasthe sole reason why we ended up
winning that game towards theend, because he was stopping
everybody.
I do like the two pickup.
Well, we have three, threedifferent pickups Chris Dunn,
kevin Porter Jr, derek Joneslike those pickups looking good

(16:39):
did not like that.
They were booing Paul Georgewhen he came back.
I just think that's unnecessary.
If you're not going to pay theman, that's his.
He has every right to leave.
Zubac Zoo.
I love Zoo.
I love Zoo so much.
Love his game.
Thank you, lakers, love hisgame.

(17:01):
I did not know he had this kindof court vision, did not know
that.
So that's been reallyinteresting to see.
And anytime Harden is pairedwith the big, he makes that big
a lot better and he shows themhow good that big actually is.
So shout out to Harden as well.
But yeah, that's, that's all Ihave to say.
With what's going on with theClippers, I'm liking what I'm
seeing so far, even withoutKawhi, which we always do, that

(17:23):
we're always good without ourbest players, and then when our
best players come, it's likeeverybody forgets how great they
were and they just like chillout, no, push forward, babe,
keep on going.
Oh, one last thing this isaround the league.
Note that I want to say.
I know a lot of people wouldhate the Celtics for whatever
reason they have, and Iunderstand it, none of my

(17:43):
business, but a lot of youniggas are just jealous of Jason
Tatum.
He's handsome, he playsbasketball really well and his
girl is beautiful.
They're haters.
They're just haters becauseain't no way he has accomplished
all he's accomplished and y'allnot acting like he, not who he
say he is.
Stop playing with the man.
Stop playing with the man,right, all right, that's all I

(18:07):
gotta say.
Well, that's the end of thisepisode.
I hope you guys enjoyed it.
I'm wishing you nothing butlove and I hope to see you next
week.
Please like, comment, subscribe, rate, send you, send me a dm,
whatever you feel.
I really appreciate youlistening, so thank you, bye.
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