August 21, 2024 • 52 mins
What if you could transform your relationships with the same success you achieve in your career?
Katarina Polonska, a high-performance relationship coach and gender-dynamic social scientist, joins us on the 2% Solution Podcast to share her incredible journey from uncertainty and dissatisfaction to contentment and lucky love.
Through Katarina's unique blend of personal growth, rigorous academic studies at the University of Oxford, and science-based strategies, she offers invaluable insights into achieving high-performance relationships, especially for successful executives and business directors.
Discover how Katarina navigated familial health concerns and a disheartening corporate life with mindfulness and reflective techniques, ultimately overcoming anxious attachment patterns to find genuine contentment.
Her story takes a surprising turn when her newfound self-assurance leads her to meet her husband at a music festival, a testament to the transformative power of inner work. Now, Katarina shares her methods, helping others follow a similar path to healthier relationships and new, meaningful connections.
Explore the pressures high achievers face in their relationships, the impact of modern dating culture, and the collective trauma from COVID-19 on our social interactions.
Katarina highlights the importance of authenticity, fostering a healthy relationship with oneself, and the need for genuine human connections. Get practical advice on cultivating mindfulness, inner inquiry, and effective communication to attract fulfilling relationships naturally.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone aiming to harmonize their professional success with personal fulfillment.
Connect with Katarina:
TEXT ME here - Have a question? Comment? Feedback? I’d love to hear from you.
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Dai M.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dai Manuel (00:07):
Welcome back to another episode of the 2%
Solution Podcast.
I'm your host, diamond Well,and today I'm thrilled to
introduce a guest whose insightsand expertise will truly
elevate your understanding ofhigh-performance relationships.
She's a high-performancerelationship coach, a
gender-dynamic social scientistand someone whose journey and
approach to personal developmentare as inspiring as they are
(00:29):
effective.
Our guest today is none otherthan Katarina Polunska.
Katarina helps successfulexecutives and business
directors achieve the same levelof success in their
relationships as they do intheir careers.
From her studies at theUniversity of Oxford to her
extensive experience inbehavioral science, she has
crafted a unique methodologythat blends personal growth,
(00:51):
relationship building andscience-based strategies.
Today, we'll dive intoKatarina's transformative
journey the pivotal moments thatshaped her path, but also the
actionable steps you can take totransform your relationships,
whether you're struggling withpersonal connections or just
looking to deepen yourrelationship with yourself.
(01:11):
This episode is packed withvaluable insights, but before we
jump in, make sure yousubscribe to the podcast leave a
review and share this episodewith someone who might need a
little inspiration today.
Welcome back to the 2% SolutionPodcast.
I'm Di Manuel and, as you heardin the intro, today we've got
an amazing guest, absolutelyawesome.
I connected with Katarina Gosh.
It must be a couple months now,but it was a lasting impression
(01:36):
after that first call andyou're going to see why.
She's got a great energy, veryvibrant, beautiful smile.
But for those that arelistening, you have to wait for
the video clip.
Uh, but regardless, let me giveit.
Just remind you what I said inthe intro high performance
relationship coach, but also a atopic and I got a big question
around this but a genderdynamics social scientist.
(01:58):
I know it sounds like amouthful, but it's so intriguing
when I saw that I was like Igotta ask that.
Um, she specializes in helpingsuccessful executives and
business directors achieve thesame level of success in the
relationships that theyexperience in their careers and,
what's really cool, we're goingto dive into her journey of
behavioral science background aswell as personal development to
(02:20):
becoming this amazingrelationship coach.
So welcome to the show today,katerine.
Katarina Polonska (02:24):
I'm stoked that you're here.
Thank you so much for having me.
Dai Manuel (02:27):
Oh, you're welcome, man.
It's me thanking you.
You don't have to thank me, butI'll take it anyways.
Thank you, listen.
Let's just dive into this realquick.
How does the journey unfold?
Okay, to go from what you werein before right To now being a
high-performance relationshipcoach, can you sort of just give
(02:48):
us the snapshot of just yourjourney professionally, because
you've touched on a couple ofvery different areas, but I can
also see how they can complementand enhance each other, and so
let's talk about your story.
Like how the heck did you get?
Katarina Polonska (03:01):
to this position.
Well, everything's lovely inretrospect, right when you look
back or when I look back and I'mlike, of course it all makes
sense.
All makes sense right fromliterally being in school and
being obsessed with love andstudying love and trying to
understand that I love poetryand love short stories and blah,
blah, blah, blah, and thengoing into my university.
(03:21):
That actually no sidestep.
I did my coachingqualifications before I even
went to uni, so I'm really luckythat my father, a very high
achieving father, himself alsocertified as a coach and you
know he kind of dealt coachingon the side now and I grew up
with the Tony Robbins.
I grew up with all the personaldevelopment stuff and a lot of
love development stuff.
(03:41):
I had Susan Jeffers' book Fieldof Fear Guide to Long-Lasting
Love, or something on mybookshelf when I was 11 years
old.
Dai Manuel (03:50):
I think I was 11.
I was obsessed with readingeverything.
Katarina Polonska (03:55):
And so I'd pick up these books and be
studying relationships.
And then, yeah, when I was 17,I did my NLP and hypnotherapy,
which really wasn't.
There was no career plan atthat point, it was purely I
loved personal development.
I was really into that world.
I also had some of my own kindof teenage issues.
You know, I had an eatingdisorder and I had insomnia, so
I had like my own stuff.
And my parents being very, Iguess, traditional Eastern
(04:19):
European parents, they didn'twant to send me off to therapy.
They were like no, no, we'llget you a coaching qualification
, you can fix yourself.
And so I trained.
What a look of horror on yourface set, but it was actually
it's no.
Dai Manuel (04:32):
Like I'm actually, you know, as a father of two
daughters, I really appreciatethe way that they approach that.
I think that's genius I thinkthat's genius.
Anyway, sorry, didn't mean tocut you off, I'm just like, as,
as a father of two dogs, I'mlike I'm taking notes here, okay
, so you know what.
Katarina Polonska (04:47):
It didn't.
It didn't cure the anorexia, tobe clear.
That came back later in life.
That's a whole separate story.
But it got me on the path ofpersonal development and so it
kind of normalized for mecoaching questions.
It normalized me working withmy unconscious mind, limiting
(05:11):
beliefs and all of these toolswhich really went on to serve me
so well throughout my life.
And so I did that, went to uniand took that kind of interest
in love and relationships intomy, bizarrely, my history,
economics and philosophy degree,don't ask.
And I was just studying, youknow, gender dynamics and
looking at like men and womenand like femininity and like
different roles and how theytranspired over over history and
um, and looking at like mentalhealth and masculinity and where
did that kind of go off therails?
(05:32):
And that was again interesting,that space.
Then I left uni and I had alittle tiny coaching business at
university.
But I was like can't do this,I'm too young.
And so I worked for a champagnecompany, super random.
We was a global recession and Iwas like I don't think my plans
on becoming, you know, whateverI wanted to become in the kind
(05:54):
of health industry were ten, ablack time.
There was such unemployment.
This is like in 2008.
And so I remember thinking likewhat can I do that will earn
money and be fun, but it willstay, you know, be kind of like
a sabbatical I guess, eventhough I was freaking 21, but I
was like wine.
I mean, I like wine.
(06:14):
You know I'm interested in wineand my ex-boyfriend's parents
at the time took me to france,to the loire valley, and I did
wine talk.
So, long story short, I trained,trained and did my WSCT, joined
a really high-end luxury winecompany which is a startup, and
that's when I started working,funnily enough, with executives
and entrepreneurs.
So I was working under twoinsanely ambitious, incredible
(06:36):
entrepreneurs who were young,who were fun, and we were
building a champagne startup andsupplying champagne to all the
high-end folks and clubs andeverything in London.
And then I obviously loved thatand that really inspired me to
start my own business, which Ithen did doing a very similar
work in a different market, andloved that, loved that, loved
that.
That then took me to go intoDubai, where I also did this, so
(07:00):
kind of had this like jetsetter lifestyle.
But it was when I lived inDubai that the kind of the
glamour of it all wore awaybecause I didn't love living
there.
I don't know if I'm allowed tosay that on podcast.
I didn't love living there,yeah it's fine, totally Listen.
Dai Manuel (07:15):
We all got places we don't like.
But what was it about Dubaithat wasn't resonating with you?
What was it?
No?
Katarina Polonska (07:20):
it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't it was.
I struggled out there like,candidly, you know, I was a
single female and I struggled,and so I then ended up deciding
to switch gears completely.
I'm like enough of thesabbatical that had actually
turned into like an eight yeartrajectory and I'm going to
actually go and do what I wantto do with my life, which is I
want to specialize in genderdynamics and really understand,
(07:41):
especially after living in Dubaiwhere there's so much stuff
around masculinity andfemininity and like all the
gender, all about that.
And I'd been single for a whileat this point because my
parents had got a very painfuldivorce and so that was honestly
quite scarring and I'd helpedthem navigate their divorce.
So it's kind of like world oflove and relationships was
suddenly very loaded andchallenging for me.
(08:02):
So I went back to uni, went toOxford, did my master's in
gender dynamics, loved it,absolutely loved it, used that
time to actually clean up theremnants of that eating disorder
.
Because here I was, you know,studying essentially like
studying femininity, andstudying like why are women
trying to be thin, what is thatabout?
And all of this stuff isincredibly powerful and healing.
(08:24):
And in that time I was lucky, Igot a scholarship to Oxford, so
I had some money and I startedinvesting into coaching.
I'd already done some coachingbefore as well.
I did the Hopin process when Iwas 23, which is incredibly
powerful and changed my life,but I really began to take it
more seriously and kind ofrecognize that I have, you know,
tons of opportunity ahead of me.
(08:45):
I cannot let my mind be boggeddown by limiting beliefs, by all
of these things, thesenarratives that aren't serving
me, and so fast forward that Iworked in behavioral science.
So that kind of took me intothe behavioral science career
after a brief since Lansby,where I found my feet in the
world of psychology and againkind of help people and helping
(09:05):
them understand the dynamicsbetween people, right, so I was
working for a global behavioralscience consultancy consulting
different companies on theirpeople dynamics, a lot of which
was around gender, because atthat point DE&I had come up as a
thing and so and George Floyd,and, and so I loved it, I
absolutely loved it.
The one thing that I foundreally fascinating throughout
(09:27):
all of this and this is kind ofa two-pronged approach was just
how much when I was on the callswith the people doing my
self-calls and doing the kind ofconsulting, just how many of
them would bring theconversation back to their own
personal relationships and kindof relate right to whatever I
was doing in a corporate space.
They'd be like, oh, I wish myhusband did that, or you know,
and we'd end up having this kindof essentially gossiping.
(09:49):
Yeah, well, I've got the thingwith my clients, but a personal
life, and I loved it.
And I, on the same vein, I wasengaged at that time to my
ex-fiancee and I wasn't, youknow, having a great time at
home either.
Things are pretty challengingfor me, and here I am studying
all of the psychology and, youknow, implementing it to fortune
100 500 companies.
But it was very front of mindas well, and so I ended up kind
(10:10):
of bonding with my clients overthese essentially relational
issues, which is hilarious, andI think my employer knew now
they'd be like what was shedoing?
That's good, okay.
But so when I left that andthen I called off that first
engagement for various reasons,that's when everything crumbled
(10:31):
for me because I'd kind of I'dwalked away from this wedding,
this engagement, thisrelationship that on Instagram,
you know, looks pretty perfectyeah.
Instagram perfect relationship,you know, looks pretty perfect.
It was an Instagram perfectrelationship and that was so
humbling to do that in my early30s.
Well, you know, I had thislovely timeline of having kids
(10:52):
and getting married and we justbought a house in Whistler in
Canada.
So I was like, can I go toWhistler?
And I had the vision ofbecoming a mom and everything
crumbled.
And then I quit my job that Iloved, moved back to the UK,
took up another job with a bigcoaching company, hated it,
absolutely hated it, and I waslike what am I doing with my
(11:13):
life?
You know, everything that I hadplanned fell apart and so this
is the story is ending here.
I promise you Sorry.
Dai Manuel (11:21):
No, I love this.
This is great.
I mean, listen, I wanted thestory.
I love this.
This is great.
Katarina Polonska (11:26):
I mean listen , I wanted the story, I love the
story.
Good, good, I gave you the longone, but but yes, I came back
to England and I was like I'mlost.
You know, I was at this pointI'm like I don't know how much
time I have to have kids andbecause my mom and, you know, my
people in my family got medicalpretty early, so I don't know
how much time I have to havekids, I don't really want to die
alone, but I guess I shouldmake my peace that could
(11:47):
actually happen.
And I don't really want to bein London, I don't really want
to be doing the corporate job.
I don't really know why I'meven here, and so that's when I
decided to really really digdeep and do and kind of take
that inner work and thatcoaching that I knew Again, I
worked for a coaching company.
Dai Manuel (12:05):
Yes.
Katarina Polonska (12:05):
But take it and really embody and imply
everything that I knew and read,if that makes sense.
It's like I trained to be amindfulness teacher prior,
because my plan as a mother wasactually to be a mindfulness
teacher.
So I did my MBSR and I trainedand blah, blah, blah.
So I love meditating, I loveall that introspection, but I
didn't really embody it andapply what I realized.
(12:30):
I was kind of at that awarenesslevel, which is where I see a
lot of the people that I workwith.
They're kind of at that.
I do therapy, I journal, I'mvery aware, I'm very self-aware
and it's like that's lovely, butwhat are you actually doing
about it?
Right, that's it right.
And and that's, I think, whereI realized it's like, yeah, I
was aware that I had, you know,anxious attachment and I was
(12:52):
aware that I had these patternsand I was aware about all these
things.
But like, but what now?
What like?
What actually now?
And so I I was.
It was a horrible time.
I was in london, I was in myapartment, apartment in
Kensington, and I didn't want togo out.
I didn't really want tosocialize.
I became a bit of a hermit andI just stayed in and cried a lot
(13:13):
, but then also, you know,pulled out of my bag the
different tools and techniquesthat I'd used to help me heal
from anorexia, because they werepretty powerful, clearly.
I mean they worked really well.
Well that, all the twins andplaythings that I knew and
really began to take this innerwork seriously with a vision of
I do not want to end up here inanother year from now like I
(13:34):
want to be, whether I'm out thecountry, whether I'm in another
job, whether I'm in another, Idon't even know, but I don't
want to be here.
And what I did in those monthseventually led me to my husband.
I met him very, very, veryserendipitously, but now I look
back and I'm like it's actuallynot that serendipitous at all.
How did you guys?
Dai Manuel (13:51):
meet.
I want to hear this.
I want to hear this how did youmeet?
How did you meet?
Katarina Polonska (13:56):
So everything I did in those months is now
working with my program right,because I've replicated it with
my clients and they also, lo andbehold, either improve their
relationships or find a lifepartner, or they actually exit a
relationship and start datingbetter people.
So the process worked and howwe met was so unassuming for me.
I was in a good place.
(14:17):
Finally, I got to this placewhere I was like you know what,
even if I die alone, I'll befine.
I love cats.
I love cats.
I love traveling.
I'll travel lots.
I love wine.
You know it was a nightmarishvision my future but I was like
I don't care.
I just don't care anymore.
And I honestly felt good aboutit.
(14:37):
I felt good about myself.
I'd done so much of that innerwork to clear out all of that
junk in the past that had beenshrouding my view and all of the
you know, the screwed up beliefsystems that were keeping me
dating people like my ex-fiancee, you know, and in the wrong
relationship and and all of that.
I'd cleared all of that out.
I got really clear on what Iwant to need and one of the
(14:58):
things that I really needed,that I knew that I really needed
was good music like it soundsso silly, but what I realized
was that and something I didn'thave my first engagement with I
really loved a certain genre ofmusic and I didn't get enough of
it and I love the feeling ofbeing free and going to a
festival and all of that, and soone of the little things I did
to meet my needs was like I'mjust going to go to more of
these things.
(15:18):
I didn't have friends to gowith, I didn't necessarily even
feel safe, but I was like whatdo I need to feel safe?
You know kind of made my littleplan and I took an hour train
through London, went to thismusic festival on my own and
there I was, you know, dancingaway with my little cams and he
tapped me on the shoulder and Iremember when he turned around
(15:43):
and I could I tell him all thetime that I was convinced it was
dark.
Apparently it wasn't dark.
About like 4 pm in the afternoonhe turned around.
I couldn't even see his facebecause he had shades on and a
hat, but I felt the energy.
I, you know I swear I felt theenergy.
I heard him say that he wasfrom Canada and I'd obviously
just left Canada and somesomething intuitively pulled me
(16:06):
to him to the point that I threwmy arms around his neck, gave
him a big hug, was so delightedto see him, and then we spent
the whole rest of the evening.
I tagged on with his friends,basically danced with them.
He thought I was completelybananas.
Honestly, he was like who isthis woman?
What is wrong?
What's the catch?
What's the catch?
What's the catch?
She's very enthusiastic, but Ihad no agenda.
(16:28):
I had no expectations.
He was visiting from Canada,just transiting through London.
I at no point was I thinkingthis is going to lead to
anything.
It's just the dude I met at afestival and he's got nice
energy, I feel with him and Ifelt safer with him than I felt
safer.
You know, dance around on myown and I just kind of stuck to
him.
And then we texted all nightand then, yeah, we had three
(16:52):
dates that week that he was inLondon by the end of the third
day.
I remember thinking like, holymoly, what have I done?
I've done something.
And I remember voicemailing myfriend, being like I don't know
how this is going to work.
None of this makes any sense.
From a background perspective,we're very different.
From a family perspective,we're very different.
From a cultural perspective,we're very different.
(17:14):
Keep going back to Canada.
But how's that going to work?
I live in London now.
I just, you know, sold all myassets in Canada.
I've never had to go back, andso I was like I don't know how
this is going to work.
But I think and these are mywords, I think the universe sent
him to me to show me that thereare men like him out there and
that there's a level ofconnection like this out there
where I can feel so safe, soseen, so free to be myself.
(17:37):
And I didn't have to pretend inthe slightest, at no point in
that week, in the relationshipto this day, have I ever and
touch wood honestly have I everhad to kind of stop and filter
myself, question or second guessmyself?
Everything that I was doingpreviously, riddled with doubt,
riddled with, you know,gaslighting myself, questioning
(18:01):
myself, coercing myself, bendingmyself like a pretzel to fit
into whatever you know shape Ithought would fit.
This was completely freeing andin the end, obviously it did
work out and it was pretty,pretty seamless.
I mean, the visa situation andtrying to figure out what
country to live in was notseamless, but everything else
worked out and in the process.
(18:22):
Final thing I'll add is that youknow we live in a beats in our.
We live in in spain.
I would dreamed of living inthe beats.
I didn't know how I'd make itwork.
But then I met this man who waslike, yeah, let's make it
happen, right.
He didn't know how we'd figureit out here, like we'll just
take a gamble and we'll figureit out, because we have each
other, yeah, and none of thethings that should have made
(18:43):
sense did make sense, and thestuff that did make sense before
that should have made sense,were the wrong things.
That's a really ugly statement.
But do you get what I'm tryingto say?
That it's like we have to getout of our own way.
Dai Manuel (19:00):
Well, I was going to say everything that you're
really speaking to.
You know, as much as we talkabout relationships with others,
it's first and foremost.
It sounds like you had to fixthe relationship with you first
before you could create thespace to even think about having
a relationship with somebodyelse and it sounds like you did
that work and then you got to aplace where it's like, well, I
could have a partner.
I don't, I mean, I like me, Ilike hanging out with me.
So I'm okay with the solo time,right?
Katarina Polonska (19:22):
Absolutely, and you, sorry, go on.
Dai Manuel (19:25):
Yeah, no, no, I know I was just going to say and I
just think your story is awonderful example of what's
possible when that relationshipwith self does become whole
again, Like it's just incredibleyeah.
But, sorry, I didn't mean tocut you off on your thought and
it all flows from there.
Katarina Polonska (19:38):
It all flows from there, right?
So at that point I was like,well, you know, we kind of both
quit our jobs and started tryingto figure out like where are we
going to live and how are wegoing to make this work?
And I, personally, I tried totake sabbatical like an actual
sabbatical.
I couldn't do it.
You know, I think I lastedthree weeks not working and then
I was like, oh, this is theylike it?
So I began to build a coachingbusiness.
(19:59):
I did my ICF and I just startedbuilding.
And I started as an executivecoach because I was like, well,
that's my background, workingwith executives and founders, um
, especially kind of in the, inthe, you know all the behavioral
science and the champagne workand in the philanthropy work
that I did.
But it was as I started workingwith founders which is so funny
again, because the universe, orwhatever you want to call it,
(20:20):
will always bring you to a placeof authenticity if you're
willing to listen.
And I started working withfounders and executives,
thinking I'll do effectivecoaching.
But as I worked with them overtime, I began to notice a theme
and that theme was well,everyone had anxiety and stress
and people were a little bitdepressed and I was like, yep,
okay, sound pretty founder-ish.
(20:40):
But then I drilled down deeperand that's when I realized, oh,
there's a loneliness here, oh,there's self-doubt, oh there's,
I don't know, not feeling goodenough.
And, as I drilled down intothat, the way it manifested was
both through a weak relationshipwith herself, but also in weak
(21:01):
relationships with others,whether they were unhappily
partnered.
I see that a lot.
Probably 70% of my clients areactually in a relationship
already, but they're not sureabout it, right they, and
they're not sure if it's themand they're self-sabotaging
because of that fullrelationship with themselves or
if it's actually therelationship.
And then the other mostly 30 to40 percent are single and they
(21:22):
they're also like, well,previous partners haven't worked
out whether it's, you know,divorces, the call of
engagements or long-termrelationships, and they're aware
that they never want to gothrough that again and they're
aware that they need to do thatin a work piece to actually find
that right partner.
So that's really what made mepivot and recognize oh, my
journey is not that unique,right, my journey is not that
(21:47):
unique right, my journey is notunique at all.
And, uh, this is a very commontrajectory that especially a lot
of high achievers go through,because we can high achieve our
way into a bit of self-sabotage,I think, when it comes to
relationships.
Dai Manuel (21:58):
I got to ask you this.
Katarina Polonska (21:59):
Okay.
Dai Manuel (22:00):
I think we're sort of skirting around this because,
yeah, I mean that lack ofconnection.
I mean, if we look at, like,the research of the blue zones,
or there's the nine healingfactors and radical remission.
So these are, these are studies.
That's Dr Kelly Turner and shefound that there was nine habits
that help people overcomevarious forms of cancer.
You know, and getting fromsurvival to thrival again.
(22:21):
And and yet, on the flip side,we have people around the world
living to be 100 plus thriving.
You know, in these zones and itdoesn't matter when you look at
both of these, whether it's thenine healing factors, you know,
whether it's the power ninearound vitality and longevity
community connectionrelationships are huge, yeah,
you know, huge.
(22:41):
So it connects us withlongevity.
It also connects with ourhealth and our vitality.
And yet, what is the deal withsociety and society's
expectations aroundrelationships?
Because I imagine, in yourstudies, especially with the
gender studies and seeing howsociety influences certain norms
and expectations, and we try toyou talked about this earlier
you know this idea of trying toconform into a box, to tick all
(23:04):
the boxes.
You know it's sort of thecurated instagram life.
Right, like we, we have acertain idea and a vision yeah
um, and why?
I guess the question I want toask you is you know, like, how
do society's expectations differfrom our own personal needs?
Because I think that's got tobe where there's a disconnect,
because it's hard to reconcile.
Do you know what I mean by that?
(23:26):
Like, does that make sense?
Do you have enough there tojust dive into that?
Okay, go ahead, dive in.
Because I just I see this, andagain being a father of two
daughters that are at dating age, you know.
Katarina Polonska (23:44):
I like I want them to hear this, so please go
ahead.
Oh no, I love that you askedthis question.
I love that you asked thisquestion because you know what's
so funny.
I was grappling for so longlike do I become a relationship
coach?
What?
Dai Manuel (23:50):
will people think?
What will people?
Katarina Polonska (23:52):
think they'll think that you know cat belongs
over in freaking oxford and Ilocked their mind and blah, blah
.
I was so like initially ashamedbecause I was a this isn't
professional, I can't be onLinkedIn.
And now look whose inbox isfilled with DMs of people on
LinkedIn professionals who arelike help me, because everyone's
(24:12):
miserable out there.
But there is actually ahorrifying stat.
Well, yeah, 58% of women haveadmit openly to being unhappy in
their current relationship.
Not admitting.
I would have admitted ifsomeone asked me back then.
Right, I would have kept mymouth quiet and smiled.
But I think the question of whyyou said you know what's the
disconnect between fighting ourneeds, I honestly think and I
(24:36):
could go on a whole soapbox onthis but I honestly think if
people had asked us, if ourparents, whoever it is had asked
us at a younger age, even inour 20s, like, what is it that
you need?
And we've really sat anddrilled down into our needs, we
did.
You know stage seven of myprogram, stage six, rather, of
my program.
I don't know anyone who wouldsay I need to be in an office 9
(25:01):
to 5 pm sat on a chair.
I need to be, you know, part ofthe corporate structure where
I'm so disconnected from theoutput of my labor I'm just
sending emails all day and I'mjust sending emails.
All we do is send emails or bein meetings.
Like we are so disconnectedfrom our needs because I think
society makes us be disconnectedfrom our needs, because I think
(25:21):
society makes us bedisconnected from money, because
I think that's how societyfunctions.
And if we think aboutconsumerism and you know I don't
want to go into some kind ofcapitalist tirade, but there is
truth in there how I was talkingto a behavioral scientist, how
there are more single peoplethan ever right now, partly
because of capitalism, becauseof people are able to get their
(25:42):
dopamine hits really quickly bybuying things.
You don't have to go and find apartner and try and whatever,
have sex with them or build arelationship with them to get
their dopamine hit.
You can just download it on theinternet, you can just order it
on Amazon, you can go onholiday.
So people are getting theirneeds met in a kind of very
maladaptive ways or verysuperficial ways.
(26:04):
And so we get into these cycleswhere we're so disconnected
from what we really need, whichis most likely going to be, you
know, deep love and connection,a deep sense of safety, and we
start a deep sense of communitythat we start solving for them
in a very superficial way, inthe most accessible ways that
are available to us, and oftenthese are very maladaptive,
right, and so I think that'swhere we get stuck and no one
(26:29):
ever taught us to really look atour needs.
No one ever taught.
I remember when I starteddiving into my needs I was like,
oh, this is different to what Iwant, right?
Everyone when I work withclients, everyone knows what
they want.
I knew what I want, right?
Everyone when I work withclients, everyone knows what
they want.
I knew what I wanted.
I wanted like 6'4", you know,dark hair and like strapping.
That's not what I need, that'snothing to do with what I need.
(26:50):
His height is nothing to dowith what I need.
And we get caught up in thatsuperficial narrative.
I don't think it's our fault.
Dai Manuel (26:59):
I think society's kind of geared that way and I
gotta ask you okay, and I didn'tmean to cut you off because I,
I just think this will actuallyjust give a bit more direction
to where this is going, where Ithink it's going, where you're
leading us.
Um, yeah, so we got these sortof society norms that we're
trying to fit into and you know,keeping up with the joneses of
(27:21):
the old cliche that you used toget all the time right, and I
still see that.
But I, I see, I feel, and basedon the conversation they have,
what I hear from people in theaudience, you know, like it's
just hard and it doesn't feellike it's getting any easier.
Yeah, and we have to look atthe influence of the algorithm,
and when I say the, it's notlike I'm talking about some big
(27:42):
zeitgeist conspiracy here, butthe algorithms are so
sophisticated now, with theinjection of AI and the
proliferation of like datingapps, yes, yes, how is this
affecting the new societal viewon relationships?
Because, I mean, I'm at my atmy wife.
You know we've been happilydating my wife, you know, for
(28:04):
like going on almost 24 yearsnow.
But we didn't meet online youknow, we met the old-fashioned
way.
My brother introduced me, theyworked together in a restaurant
and that's how I met her, andyou know, the rest is history.
But I know of a lot of peoplethat have had successful
connections and now are marriedwith people that they've met in
you know various dating apps, uh, but and I know this is
(28:25):
becoming more norm but is thisaffecting just the way that we
look at relationships, the waywe interact?
Katarina Polonska (28:29):
or communicate, talk like how has
that changed so much because,like I mean gonna say yeah, and
the kind of the obvious one isthat, um, the possibility of
people, right, we in kind ofnormal quote unquote, because I
(28:54):
do think dating apps are normaland, again, there's nothing
wrong with dating apps.
I think you just have to knowhow to use them.
And and I do go woo-woo with myclients when I talk about
dating apps I'm like there is anelement of like your energy
around this stuff, right, butthe point is, when we were in
the olden days, we would meetpeople in our community and
there were stakes involved.
(29:14):
You couldn't just ghost someonethat you worked with or ghost
someone that's your neighbor orthat your family knows.
You'd be humiliated.
You couldn't do that.
That was just insightful, right.
But then, and I remember when Istarted doing dating apps, which
was in my like kind of mid tolate 20s, but I was like this is
really weird, I've met someonewho's completely out of my
circle.
It's the equivalent of meetingsomeone, connections, and even
(29:37):
then the bar might be, you know,miles and miles away from any
bar I would normally go to, sothey're really far removed.
That we have the states arelower, there's more options.
The world is our oyster, we canpick, and I think that does
create this culture of thinkingdisposable.
I will never forget being on adate in london, sitting in a
park besotted by this guy,looking at him all bambi-eyed,
(30:00):
thinking you know he's the one,and then him turning around and
saying to me how he's reallyhappy that we had this lovely
date together and he's soexcited for the week because
there are so many qualifiedleads entering London every day
from a dating perspective.
Dai Manuel (30:16):
Are you kidding me?
He says that what?
Oh my God, what a cheese ball.
Oh the smoke.
Katarina Polonska (30:22):
Quantified meat, and I remember he was like
that's crazy, isn't it?
But he had a point right.
For him it was like aplayground.
He had, you know, like 2,000women a day that he could swipe
with and connect with, and so Ithink that's a really, really
tarnished thing because we'vecommodified people, right.
(30:42):
And then you add that littledopamine hit of all the swipes
and the lights and whatever youcall them, and and that sense of
kind of validation and people.
Unfortunately again, not ourfault, but I do think that
society with all of its quickdopamine hits, with all of its
disconnect from each other andthe kind of digital world that
(31:03):
we live in, I think it hascaused a lot of unhealed people
who are ultimately eitherfeeling very disconnected right
from themselves, from each otherthey're probably not feeling at
all in any shape or form enoughbecause everyone's competing
and the standards areunattainable, especially we
think about beauty, we thinkabout wealth, from a man's
perspective.
(31:23):
These things are not attainablefor the masses.
So there's this kind ofconstant sense of I'm not enough
.
There's something wrong with meI'm bad and so we're seeking
this validation and thisconnection through these alter
algorithms that are geared tokeep us on the app.
So, no, they're not going towork right, because they're
(31:46):
trying to buy and sell themembership Like it's.
Back to that modification andback to the dopamine hits, and
so we're kind of chasing thislike elusive algorithm.
Dai Manuel (31:56):
The dating apps and social media more generally are
an abusive relationship thatwe're in right, unless you can
reprogram those algorithms tofeed you more of really the good
stuff that's going to elevateand enhance life, rather than
just simply make you questioneverything that you're doing.
Katarina Polonska (32:11):
You know, it's like constant comparison.
Dai Manuel (32:14):
Right, like you fall into that trap.
It's like my time online and Ilet people know this because
it's funny I network, I'll meetsomebody at an event and they're
like sure they might, we mightbe connected online.
I don't go to people's profilesand look what they're doing
like I don't like yes, I'mresearching them for a
conversation like this.
Then it makes sense.
But I my time is spent creatingand engaging with those that
(32:37):
engage, you know.
I got yeah the consumptionpiece was really affecting my
mental health, like my anxietyjust went through the roof.
It was just.
It was incredible at just allthese negative emotions that
started to to just appear.
And they weren't just appearing, they were.
They were coming because I wasjust falling into these little
traps of comparing and judgingand that's just.
(33:00):
It's wild what can happen.
But the crazy thing is, themore you consume of that content
, the more it feeds you.
Yeah, it's like this.
It feels like a black hole thatit's really challenging to get
out of.
And and I guess you know to tosort of continue along this
conversation or at least thistopic that we're on the social
media and the just the theinfluence of connecting with
(33:21):
people online.
How many of your clients orpeople that you've worked with
are connected with over theseyears in this position, and do
they struggle with justconnecting with people when they
finally meet them?
Because I, I see a lot ofpeople like I'll connect with
somebody on Instagram, as anexample, and have a great
conversation through DMS.
Then, all of a sudden, we'llmeet in real life or on a zoom
(33:43):
call and it feels like it'sreally forced conversation, like
it just feels like there's likeI'm like where did that
connection go?
That we had it on IG, yeah, andand I just don't feel the same
energy or we're not connectingLike it.
Just I'm just curious if otherpeople are dealing with this
inability to connect in reallife because we're so accustomed
to dealing through these shortDM, quick, little hit messages,
(34:05):
you know.
Katarina Polonska (34:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's such a good point
and it's something.
It's funny.
My mom complained about it allthe time.
My mom, because she's back tothe office and she said people
have changed.
Going back to the office she'slike people don't want to be in
the office, people don't want tobe around other people, they
want to be back home where theycan control their own space.
I mean, in fairness, I don'treally want to be in an office
(34:26):
either, but I still connect withpeople every day.
But the point is it has shiftedand I think my cousin and I had
this conversation actually whenI was visiting her.
I do believe there's been a bitof a collective trauma after
COVID.
I think that has kind ofruptured our ability to be more
spontaneous and able to connect.
(34:47):
We spent so many years notconnecting right or connecting
digitally, and then people areable to hide and have a, I want
to say, facade, but a lot ofpeople don't really know who
they are and a lot of peopledon't know what their their
wounding is, what theirprogramming is.
They don't really know where toeven start when it comes to
(35:08):
connecting to themselves deeply,and so there's a lot of this
kind of performativity, this Idon't say people pleasing, but
kind of on the c lot of thiskind of performativity, this I
don't want to say peoplepleasing, but kind of on the
cusp of people pleasing, ofshowing up with.
This is how I'm going to showup and that's very easy to
deliver.
When it's online, right whenyou're behind a screen and no
one can see you and you're inthe DM, you can role play anyone
(35:29):
you want to be.
Even if you're introverted andshy, you can role play that
you're not and there's nothingwrong with being that.
So when it comes to being inperson or you come to having a
real-life connection, thatauthenticity piece of who you
are, that's already kind of beenput into question.
You've already kind of beenhiding that.
I guess it's kind of hidingnarrative, it is right.
(35:51):
It's kind of almost likecollective hiding since they're
curated.
Dai Manuel (35:55):
Right, it's curated as well, like it's as people are
very selective about what theyshare, how they share it.
Yeah, it just feels likethere's a lot of like
anticipated judgment, so I'mgoing to just put this out there
.
Yeah, it's like we want to avoidany possible critique or
judgment and we like to justpaint these really pretty
pictures yeah, I my wife and I,we lived in bali, you know, with
(36:16):
our two daughters for two and ahalf years and while we were
this is all pre-covid and um Ijust remember how many people I
would meet that would come tobali, you know, obviously for
various reasons.
I mean, it's a nice place to be, it's a nice place to call home
for a little time, similar toibiza, a little bit more
developed there and well, a lotmore developed.
But you know, regardless, whenyou live in a country like that,
(36:40):
like you, just you meet people,travelers, nomadic people and
people that are working online,and I just found that there's so
many people that were hurting.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure, and it just it reallyshook me because I hadn't really
experienced it, because, youknow, we lived in Vancouver, we
traveled around North America,we hadn't really experienced the
kind of nomadic lifestyle untilthat point in time.
(37:01):
Yeah, yeah, and I was justamazed at how many people were
actually really hurting.
Katarina Polonska (37:05):
Yeah, yeah.
Dai Manuel (37:07):
And, but you would just never know.
Katarina Polonska (37:10):
Yeah.
Dai Manuel (37:17):
Like if you had to go off their socials.
Katarina Polonska (37:18):
You would just never know.
Dai Manuel (37:18):
Like, I mean dj twitch, I think he really
brought this to the forefront.
You know what was that lastyear?
I believe two years ago.
Yeah, it was a year and a halfago.
You remember, like when he hetook his own life and, uh,
everybody, even ellen degenera,like what the hell happened
there?
You know, like nobody knew, no,and I think this mental health
piece, yeah, yeah, yeah, right,exactly exactly, exactly.
Katarina Polonska (37:34):
I agree with you and I think, I think,
because we're so, we're in sucha culture, we can just kind of
numb out, distract, hide,dopamine, hit again.
It's very easy to not even beaware that you are hurting
because it's painful, and so youturn on the tv, right there's
um.
There are studies that peoplehave this kind of low-level
(37:55):
stress because they're in painbecause of their own kind of
wounding, their childhoodwounding and whatever's coming
up for them.
They're the ones who willtypically be playing music to go
to sleep or playing the TV andfalling asleep to the TV, but
it's like they have the constantdistraction from just being
with themselves and that is kindof the stuff that's fueling
that hiding right.
(38:16):
That's kind of showing up in avery curated way, that selective
way, that people-pleasing way,as opposed to the all-frontal
heros who I am.
I'm the same in my DMs as I amon camera, as I am in person.
You know there's multipleversions of me showing up, but
it's the same core of who I am.
Dai Manuel (38:33):
That's right, right, yeah, makes it a lot easier to
show up too, though.
Katarina Polonska (38:38):
Oh, so much easier, so much more real estate
in the brain.
Dai Manuel (38:41):
Totally, and it's less stressful you never have to
second guess anything you'resaying, it's just that's what
was live and real for me at thatmoment when I made that post,
and that's just the way it.
You know, like, take with itwhat you want.
Well, listen, katerina, I couldtalk to you all day, but the
poor person of the show is alsoto instill some actionable steps
that people can do, less than30 minutes a day, to start
(39:02):
achieving a little bit more,let's let's just say, a
healthier relationship with self.
That's probably a great placeto begin.
So, when you work with yourclients, what, what is an
exercise that you think would bemost beneficial for people to
embrace or try to doconsistently for the next seven
to 10 days?
After listening to this, youknow, and obviously I'm going to
link them to your website.
I know you got so many greatresources online, so all that's
(39:22):
gonna be linked in the shownotes, everybody, along with all
of katarina socials, um, also,she's got a couple quick
announcements, but we're gonnasave that before we leave.
So don't let me forget,katarina, because I know you got
a podcast coming out.
So, um, by the time this is out, everybody, the podcast should
already be live.
But regardless, um, what wouldbe an actionable item or an
invitation to do an exercise tohelp people start to develop a
(39:45):
healthier relationship with self?
Like, and I I mean, where doyou even begin with that?
So if you could maybe justoffer up what a good first step
would be for those individuals,that'd be great yeah, absolutely
, absolutely.
Katarina Polonska (39:55):
So.
It's not going to sound likeanything radical or super
exciting, but it's probably themost powerful technique that you
can take away and that's goingto look like getting to know
yourself through inner inquiry,which is really kind of a
mindfulness practice.
But the way that it looks likeis when, as and when you start
getting triggered or somethinghappens or you feel sad or you
notice anything, feel off orunpleasant or kind of negative,
(40:17):
then just taking a pause, takinga moment to step outside of
yourself and go inward, put yourattention inward and start
getting curious.
Number one what is thesensation in my body?
Where is it?
Is it in your chest?
Is it in your belly?
Is it on your shoulders?
How does it feel?
Just noting how it feels isalready going to dissipate a lot
of that pain that you'refeeling and acknowledging it,
(40:38):
right.
And then the second piece isjust getting curious like what
is it that I'm feeling?
Is it shame?
Is it anger?
Is it frustration?
Is it grief?
Like what is it?
Getting curious about theemotion?
There might be multipleemotions.
And then the third piece isgoing to be what is it I need
(40:59):
right now to feel better?
Right, super simple, supersimple simple.
Dai Manuel (41:01):
Yeah, doesn't mean it's easy, though, otherwise
everybody would do it.
Katarina Polonska (41:06):
I know, I know, I know but, it's such a
valuable little hack.
I think to um yeah I thinkthose are great.
Dai Manuel (41:14):
I mean that's fantastic and I think that's a
wonderful way to invite peopleto start this introspective
process.
But also the mindfulness piece.
I really do appreciate that.
I find, when we start to tapinto some of those things that
we get very good at justignoring, you can't turn it off,
Like as soon as you getconditioned to noticing those
(41:35):
things absolutely.
It becomes easier to notice themright like it becomes just
normal and uh and I think that'sthe biggest challenge is most
people and I'm included in thisyou know, when we start to try
to new things and I mean youbeing behavioral scientists, you
know this more than anyone ifwe're not consistent and
frequent enough with what we'retrying to do.
Yeah, yeah, we shouldn't beupsetting yourself that we
(41:56):
didn't get the result that wedid.
We actually do the work well.
No, we didn't.
Yeah, you know, I'm soattractive, yeah, and yeah, so I
I wanted to talk to you justreal briefly before we we start
to close today.
Um, your coaching practice, Iknow you have a very unique, but
it's also very well.
But it also comes through yourown life experience and work
with different clients anddifferent experiences.
(42:18):
But I know you have a 12 step or12 stage journey that you take
people on.
Can you quickly explain thatand just how does that work for
for those that might beinterested in going the next
step, to connect with you, toget some support with this?
Katarina Polonska (42:32):
What does?
Dai Manuel (42:33):
that sort of flow look like.
Katarina Polonska (42:40):
And how did you come up with it?
Actually, they're actually.
All of that flow is in themaster class that I have on my
website and high level, which Ihighly recommend watching high,
high, high level.
It is a three-phase process and, given that I'm from a
corporate background, I like tocall an end-to-end solution for
every need when it comes toleveling up your relationship,
whether that's finding love,deciding whether you should stay
or go in your currentrelationship or improving it.
(43:01):
And three phases.
Phase one is liberation theliberating yourself from the
pain of the past and all of yourself-sabotage.
So that's looking at theinternal programming, clearing
it out and making sure that it'snot shrouding your view.
A lot of people do a bit ofthis in therapy, but they don't
necessarily clear it.
They get awareness, but theydon't dig into the root causes,
and that's what we want to doGet rid of it.
(43:22):
It's gone for good.
Phase two is the behavioralscience phase.
So once you cleared that out,you can then see clearly what is
it that you actually need inrelation to be happy and in your
life broadly.
Most people jump to this, butthey haven't cleared it.
So what's blocking?
It is going to block them fromseeing this right.
So you kind of have to do it ina kind of order.
So, getting clear on what it isthat you need.
(43:42):
Then I also talk about thebehavioral science of a healthy
relationship and dating and allof that.
So that's really important too.
And the gender dynamics pieceis here as well.
So is here as well.
So getting curious about whoyou are and what is it that you
need.
And then phase three is theintegrity piece.
So how can we, now that you'vecleared all the past, got clear
on what it is that you want toneed and who you are, get that
into integrity with your lives,so that dating relationships
(44:03):
aren't something that you haveto kind of be on an app swiping
for an hour a day, feeling awful, but it's something that you do
very naturally, veryorganically, and comes to you
when you're least expecting it,like obviously, like it happened
to my clients, it happens whenthey're really not expecting at
all.
So that's the third phase, andthere's also a bit of
(44:23):
communication in there too,because we all need to learn how
to communicate, no kidding.
Dai Manuel (44:28):
I mean, I just love how thorough, but also how
complete.
Katarina Polonska (44:32):
Yes.
Dai Manuel (44:33):
You know and you described it, you said end to
end and it really does soundcomprehensive that way.
And I love the fact that you'realso really big on just it's
implementation and doing thepractice right, like I mean,
that's where everything happens,yeah.
I know people are probably sickof me saying this.
You know over a hundred episodesnow, and I think I've said it
every freaking episode I'm likelisten, you are a byproduct of
(44:54):
what you do and what you doregularly.
So you don't like the outcome,you got to change the input.
That's scientific method 101,right, I mean it's a dumbed down
version, but it really is that.
And if we're aware of whatwe're putting in or the actions
we're taking every day, it'spretty easy to correlate and be
like oh, that's probably why.
I'm getting this result, I'mdoing this way 100%, and so I
(45:14):
really appreciate how you've putthis together.
I think it's just so smart,okay, smart.
And so you've got some excitingstuff coming up here.
I do.
I do Tell us about it, becauseI think this is only going to
extend, because I want to inviteeverybody.
If you've found some value inwhat we've been talking about
today, you gotta go check outkatarina's platform.
That master class is available.
(45:36):
It's linked in the show notes.
Go, do yourself a favor and atleast get some better awareness
on everything we've been talkingabout today, because she goes
way deeper in a lot of this.
So we would have needed, youknow, probably 12 hours to get
through even the chunk of it.
So, uh, we don't have the time,but you might, and you can get
it on demand.
So there you go.
That's great, but what are someof the exciting projects that
(45:57):
are coming to fruition in the?
Katarina Polonska (45:58):
next few months?
Yeah, great question.
So the masterclass is anamazing place to start.
I literally walk through theentire methodology, what
curriculum looks like and how.
I talk about the commonpitfalls as well that people
fall into, which is a big one.
So if you find yourself notfeeling great in your love life,
definitely check it out.
So that's one of the things.
I also have a PDF version of itbecause I know some people
(46:19):
actually read and kind ofanalyze.
So I've kind of walked throughthe methodology.
As we download, as you go withit, you can find also on the
website website,katrinabloggercom.
Nothing comes like that.
And then, yeah, I.
And then, yeah, I have apodcast coming out in July.
Dai Manuel (46:33):
What's it called?
Katarina Polonska (46:34):
What's it called?
It'll be called, like the nameof my program, the Successfully
in Love podcast.
So yeah, yeah.
Dai Manuel (46:42):
Because it's very innovative as well.
No, I love that it's like it'snot success and love.
No, it's successfully in love,Exactly, and I love that it's
the active it's like.
(47:08):
I like to tell people you knowwhat Nike's good?
Just do it.
It's fine.
But you know what's better?
Just did it.
That's way better.
I'm done.
I finished it.
I did the thing.
Katarina Polonska (47:14):
I said I was going to do, and so I really
appreciate your today that maybeI skirted over.
I forgot to ask Is thereanything that you know, I think
you did yeah, yeah, yeah,because I think you did yeah
Very good job.
Dai Manuel (47:20):
Yeah, I mean I do have other questions, but I'm
just going to have you backagain, so I would love to come
back.
Oh yeah, you all heard that Idon't have you back, katerina,
because I know there's going tobe a lot of questions, there's
going to be some commentary,we're going to get some feedback
on this conversation andeveryone that's listening.
(47:42):
Is there questions that youhave for Katerina?
Really easy to do this you cango to my Buzzsprout.
You can send me a direct textmessage from there, spotify, and
comment on the episode directly, or just reach out on any
social media platform and justlet us know what you're thinking
and what you'd love to hearfrom her on, and we'll have her
back for another episode to divedeep on that subject and and
(48:02):
listen.
I, I, I want to just acknowledgeyou.
Thank you, ken Arena, for beinghere today to share on these
beautiful insights and just alsosome great overall perspective
on some trends and where thingsare going, but also what we can
do to start to intervene if wedon't like where it's going, and
I think that was just one ofthe most empowering things that
(48:23):
you left us with today is thatyou know what.
Start here.
Katarina Polonska (48:27):
Start with ourselves Right and just see
what happens.
Dai Manuel (48:32):
And I'd like to give you last word.
I always do that with my guests, so before we leave today, if
there's somebody out therethat's maybe thinking yeah, this
sounded all good, I just don'tknow if I'm worth the effort.
What would you say to them, orwhat words of advice would you
like to offer up to them?
Katarina Polonska (48:51):
You're a thousand percent worth the
effort and it's your birthrightto have what you want and
deserve in your relationships.
Thousand percent worth theeffort, not even in question oh,
I love that you said birthright.
I think that's so powerful I, Isay the same thing.
Dai Manuel (49:08):
I mean it's your birthday to be happy, like, I
think, everyone should beentitled to being happy, you
know, and satisfied, andfulfilled and joyful and yeah.
Oh well, said I was like dropmy mic, but it's a little
expensive.
So, I won't, but uh, oh, youknow what I did though.
Oh, those that are watchingthis on video, you can see this.
Katarina Polonska (49:27):
I bought a toy mic just so I could do that.
Dai Manuel (49:31):
Drop the mic.
That was Catherine.
You are awesome.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for having me.
This is such an inspiringconversation.
So again, everybody, I'll seeyou in the outro.
And katarina, again thanks forbeing here today.
Good luck with the podcastlaunch.
Let us know how we can supportand, uh, excited to have you
back for a future episode in thecoming.
Katarina Polonska (49:52):
Yes, yeah, yeah, thank you so much for
having me.
Thank you.
Dai Manuel (49:56):
Absolute pleasure.
Thank you All right.
What did I tell you?
I said it was epic, right, acompletely enlightening
conversation.
Thank you to Katarina forjoining us today and sharing her
profound insights into highperformance relationships, from
her journey of overcomingchallenges to our expert advice
(50:18):
on building deeper connections.
She's given us much to consider, as well as much to act upon
Now.
For those that were listeningand paying attention, here's the
main takeaways I took fromtoday's conversation.
I'd like to know if you feltthe same.
Number one is invest inyourself.
Katerina emphasized theimportance of personal
development and how investing inyourself can lead to
(50:40):
transformative changes in yourlife.
Number two was understandingyour needs.
Discovering and understandingyour actual needs beyond
societal expectations, iscrucial for building authentic
relationships.
And then, number threemindfulness and self-inquiry.
Simple practices likemindfulness and self-inquiry can
help you connect with yourinner self and improve your
(51:03):
relationships with others.
Check out Katarina's website atKatarinaPolonskacom and follow
her on Instagram, linkedin andYouTube for more valuable
content.
She's just a dynamo and just apleasure not only to chat with
but to listen to.
I mean, you gotta love thataccent, right?
And also don't miss herupcoming podcast Successfully in
Love that should be released byQ4 2024.
(51:27):
I'll be double checking on thatand, if it is live, I'll be
including that in the show notesalong with all of her contact
details, because in her podcastSuccessfully in Love, she's
going to be diving deeper into alot of the content that she
talked about today on the show,but also a whole pile more.
If you found value in today'sepisode, please subscribe to the
2% Solution podcast, leave us areview and share it with your
(51:49):
friends and family.
Your support helps us continuebringing you inspiring content
and incredible guests likeKatarina.
Thank you for tuning in.
Remember, small changes canlead to significant
transformations.
Stay inspired, stay motivatedand we'll see you in the next
episode.
Welcome back to another episode of the 2%
Solution Podcast.
I'm your host, diamond Well,and today I'm thrilled to
introduce a guest whose insightsand expertise will truly
elevate your understanding ofhigh-performance relationships.
She's a high-performancerelationship coach, a
gender-dynamic social scientistand someone whose journey and
approach to personal developmentare as inspiring as they are
(00:29):
effective.
Our guest today is none otherthan Katarina Polunska.
Katarina helps successfulexecutives and business
directors achieve the same levelof success in their
relationships as they do intheir careers.
From her studies at theUniversity of Oxford to her
extensive experience inbehavioral science, she has
crafted a unique methodologythat blends personal growth,
(00:51):
relationship building andscience-based strategies.
Today, we'll dive intoKatarina's transformative
journey the pivotal moments thatshaped her path, but also the
actionable steps you can take totransform your relationships,
whether you're struggling withpersonal connections or just
looking to deepen yourrelationship with yourself.
(01:11):
This episode is packed withvaluable insights, but before we
jump in, make sure yousubscribe to the podcast leave a
review and share this episodewith someone who might need a
little inspiration today.
Welcome back to the 2% SolutionPodcast.
I'm Di Manuel and, as you heardin the intro, today we've got
an amazing guest, absolutelyawesome.
I connected with Katarina Gosh.
It must be a couple months now,but it was a lasting impression
(01:36):
after that first call andyou're going to see why.
She's got a great energy, veryvibrant, beautiful smile.
But for those that arelistening, you have to wait for
the video clip.
Uh, but regardless, let me giveit.
Just remind you what I said inthe intro high performance
relationship coach, but also a atopic and I got a big question
around this but a genderdynamics social scientist.
(01:58):
I know it sounds like amouthful, but it's so intriguing
when I saw that I was like Igotta ask that.
Um, she specializes in helpingsuccessful executives and
business directors achieve thesame level of success in the
relationships that theyexperience in their careers and,
what's really cool, we're goingto dive into her journey of
behavioral science background aswell as personal development to
(02:20):
becoming this amazingrelationship coach.
So welcome to the show today,katerine.
Katarina Polonska (02:24):
I'm stoked that you're here.
Thank you so much for having me.
Dai Manuel (02:27):
Oh, you're welcome, man.
It's me thanking you.
You don't have to thank me, butI'll take it anyways.
Thank you, listen.
Let's just dive into this realquick.
How does the journey unfold?
Okay, to go from what you werein before right To now being a
high-performance relationshipcoach, can you sort of just give
(02:48):
us the snapshot of just yourjourney professionally, because
you've touched on a couple ofvery different areas, but I can
also see how they can complementand enhance each other, and so
let's talk about your story.
Like how the heck did you get?
Katarina Polonska (03:01):
to this position.
Well, everything's lovely inretrospect, right when you look
back or when I look back and I'mlike, of course it all makes
sense.
All makes sense right fromliterally being in school and
being obsessed with love andstudying love and trying to
understand that I love poetryand love short stories and blah,
blah, blah, blah, and thengoing into my university.
(03:21):
That actually no sidestep.
I did my coachingqualifications before I even
went to uni, so I'm really luckythat my father, a very high
achieving father, himself alsocertified as a coach and you
know he kind of dealt coachingon the side now and I grew up
with the Tony Robbins.
I grew up with all the personaldevelopment stuff and a lot of
love development stuff.
(03:41):
I had Susan Jeffers' book Fieldof Fear Guide to Long-Lasting
Love, or something on mybookshelf when I was 11 years
old.
Dai Manuel (03:50):
I think I was 11.
I was obsessed with readingeverything.
Katarina Polonska (03:55):
And so I'd pick up these books and be
studying relationships.
And then, yeah, when I was 17,I did my NLP and hypnotherapy,
which really wasn't.
There was no career plan atthat point, it was purely I
loved personal development.
I was really into that world.
I also had some of my own kindof teenage issues.
You know, I had an eatingdisorder and I had insomnia, so
I had like my own stuff.
And my parents being very, Iguess, traditional Eastern
(04:19):
European parents, they didn'twant to send me off to therapy.
They were like no, no, we'llget you a coaching qualification
, you can fix yourself.
And so I trained.
What a look of horror on yourface set, but it was actually
it's no.
Dai Manuel (04:32):
Like I'm actually, you know, as a father of two
daughters, I really appreciatethe way that they approach that.
I think that's genius I thinkthat's genius.
Anyway, sorry, didn't mean tocut you off, I'm just like, as,
as a father of two dogs, I'mlike I'm taking notes here, okay
, so you know what.
Katarina Polonska (04:47):
It didn't.
It didn't cure the anorexia, tobe clear.
That came back later in life.
That's a whole separate story.
But it got me on the path ofpersonal development and so it
kind of normalized for mecoaching questions.
It normalized me working withmy unconscious mind, limiting
(05:11):
beliefs and all of these toolswhich really went on to serve me
so well throughout my life.
And so I did that, went to uniand took that kind of interest
in love and relationships intomy, bizarrely, my history,
economics and philosophy degree,don't ask.
And I was just studying, youknow, gender dynamics and
looking at like men and womenand like femininity and like
different roles and how theytranspired over over history and
um, and looking at like mentalhealth and masculinity and where
did that kind of go off therails?
(05:32):
And that was again interesting,that space.
Then I left uni and I had alittle tiny coaching business at
university.
But I was like can't do this,I'm too young.
And so I worked for a champagnecompany, super random.
We was a global recession and Iwas like I don't think my plans
on becoming, you know, whateverI wanted to become in the kind
(05:54):
of health industry were ten, ablack time.
There was such unemployment.
This is like in 2008.
And so I remember thinking likewhat can I do that will earn
money and be fun, but it willstay, you know, be kind of like
a sabbatical I guess, eventhough I was freaking 21, but I
was like wine.
I mean, I like wine.
(06:14):
You know I'm interested in wineand my ex-boyfriend's parents
at the time took me to france,to the loire valley, and I did
wine talk.
So, long story short, I trained,trained and did my WSCT, joined
a really high-end luxury winecompany which is a startup, and
that's when I started working,funnily enough, with executives
and entrepreneurs.
So I was working under twoinsanely ambitious, incredible
(06:36):
entrepreneurs who were young,who were fun, and we were
building a champagne startup andsupplying champagne to all the
high-end folks and clubs andeverything in London.
And then I obviously loved thatand that really inspired me to
start my own business, which Ithen did doing a very similar
work in a different market, andloved that, loved that, loved
that.
That then took me to go intoDubai, where I also did this, so
(07:00):
kind of had this like jetsetter lifestyle.
But it was when I lived inDubai that the kind of the
glamour of it all wore awaybecause I didn't love living
there.
I don't know if I'm allowed tosay that on podcast.
I didn't love living there,yeah it's fine, totally Listen.
Dai Manuel (07:15):
We all got places we don't like.
But what was it about Dubaithat wasn't resonating with you?
What was it?
No?
Katarina Polonska (07:20):
it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't it was.
I struggled out there like,candidly, you know, I was a
single female and I struggled,and so I then ended up deciding
to switch gears completely.
I'm like enough of thesabbatical that had actually
turned into like an eight yeartrajectory and I'm going to
actually go and do what I wantto do with my life, which is I
want to specialize in genderdynamics and really understand,
(07:41):
especially after living in Dubaiwhere there's so much stuff
around masculinity andfemininity and like all the
gender, all about that.
And I'd been single for a whileat this point because my
parents had got a very painfuldivorce and so that was honestly
quite scarring and I'd helpedthem navigate their divorce.
So it's kind of like world oflove and relationships was
suddenly very loaded andchallenging for me.
(08:02):
So I went back to uni, went toOxford, did my master's in
gender dynamics, loved it,absolutely loved it, used that
time to actually clean up theremnants of that eating disorder
.
Because here I was, you know,studying essentially like
studying femininity, andstudying like why are women
trying to be thin, what is thatabout?
And all of this stuff isincredibly powerful and healing.
(08:24):
And in that time I was lucky, Igot a scholarship to Oxford, so
I had some money and I startedinvesting into coaching.
I'd already done some coachingbefore as well.
I did the Hopin process when Iwas 23, which is incredibly
powerful and changed my life,but I really began to take it
more seriously and kind ofrecognize that I have, you know,
tons of opportunity ahead of me.
(08:45):
I cannot let my mind be boggeddown by limiting beliefs, by all
of these things, thesenarratives that aren't serving
me, and so fast forward that Iworked in behavioral science.
So that kind of took me intothe behavioral science career
after a brief since Lansby,where I found my feet in the
world of psychology and againkind of help people and helping
(09:05):
them understand the dynamicsbetween people, right, so I was
working for a global behavioralscience consultancy consulting
different companies on theirpeople dynamics, a lot of which
was around gender, because atthat point DE&I had come up as a
thing and so and George Floyd,and, and so I loved it, I
absolutely loved it.
The one thing that I foundreally fascinating throughout
(09:27):
all of this and this is kind ofa two-pronged approach was just
how much when I was on the callswith the people doing my
self-calls and doing the kind ofconsulting, just how many of
them would bring theconversation back to their own
personal relationships and kindof relate right to whatever I
was doing in a corporate space.
They'd be like, oh, I wish myhusband did that, or you know,
and we'd end up having this kindof essentially gossiping.
(09:49):
Yeah, well, I've got the thingwith my clients, but a personal
life, and I loved it.
And I, on the same vein, I wasengaged at that time to my
ex-fiancee and I wasn't, youknow, having a great time at
home either.
Things are pretty challengingfor me, and here I am studying
all of the psychology and, youknow, implementing it to fortune
100 500 companies.
But it was very front of mindas well, and so I ended up kind
(10:10):
of bonding with my clients overthese essentially relational
issues, which is hilarious, andI think my employer knew now
they'd be like what was shedoing?
That's good, okay.
But so when I left that andthen I called off that first
engagement for various reasons,that's when everything crumbled
(10:31):
for me because I'd kind of I'dwalked away from this wedding,
this engagement, thisrelationship that on Instagram,
you know, looks pretty perfectyeah.
Instagram perfect relationship,you know, looks pretty perfect.
It was an Instagram perfectrelationship and that was so
humbling to do that in my early30s.
Well, you know, I had thislovely timeline of having kids
(10:52):
and getting married and we justbought a house in Whistler in
Canada.
So I was like, can I go toWhistler?
And I had the vision ofbecoming a mom and everything
crumbled.
And then I quit my job that Iloved, moved back to the UK,
took up another job with a bigcoaching company, hated it,
absolutely hated it, and I waslike what am I doing with my
(11:13):
life?
You know, everything that I hadplanned fell apart and so this
is the story is ending here.
I promise you Sorry.
Dai Manuel (11:21):
No, I love this.
This is great.
I mean, listen, I wanted thestory.
I love this.
This is great.
Katarina Polonska (11:26):
I mean listen , I wanted the story, I love the
story.
Good, good, I gave you the longone, but but yes, I came back
to England and I was like I'mlost.
You know, I was at this pointI'm like I don't know how much
time I have to have kids andbecause my mom and, you know, my
people in my family got medicalpretty early, so I don't know
how much time I have to havekids, I don't really want to die
alone, but I guess I shouldmake my peace that could
(11:47):
actually happen.
And I don't really want to bein London, I don't really want
to be doing the corporate job.
I don't really know why I'meven here, and so that's when I
decided to really really digdeep and do and kind of take
that inner work and thatcoaching that I knew Again, I
worked for a coaching company.
Dai Manuel (12:05):
Yes.
Katarina Polonska (12:05):
But take it and really embody and imply
everything that I knew and read,if that makes sense.
It's like I trained to be amindfulness teacher prior,
because my plan as a mother wasactually to be a mindfulness
teacher.
So I did my MBSR and I trainedand blah, blah, blah.
So I love meditating, I loveall that introspection, but I
didn't really embody it andapply what I realized.
(12:30):
I was kind of at that awarenesslevel, which is where I see a
lot of the people that I workwith.
They're kind of at that.
I do therapy, I journal, I'mvery aware, I'm very self-aware
and it's like that's lovely, butwhat are you actually doing
about it?
Right, that's it right.
And and that's, I think, whereI realized it's like, yeah, I
was aware that I had, you know,anxious attachment and I was
(12:52):
aware that I had these patternsand I was aware about all these
things.
But like, but what now?
What like?
What actually now?
And so I I was.
It was a horrible time.
I was in london, I was in myapartment, apartment in
Kensington, and I didn't want togo out.
I didn't really want tosocialize.
I became a bit of a hermit andI just stayed in and cried a lot
(13:13):
, but then also, you know,pulled out of my bag the
different tools and techniquesthat I'd used to help me heal
from anorexia, because they werepretty powerful, clearly.
I mean they worked really well.
Well that, all the twins andplaythings that I knew and
really began to take this innerwork seriously with a vision of
I do not want to end up here inanother year from now like I
(13:34):
want to be, whether I'm out thecountry, whether I'm in another
job, whether I'm in another, Idon't even know, but I don't
want to be here.
And what I did in those monthseventually led me to my husband.
I met him very, very, veryserendipitously, but now I look
back and I'm like it's actuallynot that serendipitous at all.
How did you guys?
Dai Manuel (13:51):
meet.
I want to hear this.
I want to hear this how did youmeet?
How did you meet?
Katarina Polonska (13:56):
So everything I did in those months is now
working with my program right,because I've replicated it with
my clients and they also, lo andbehold, either improve their
relationships or find a lifepartner, or they actually exit a
relationship and start datingbetter people.
So the process worked and howwe met was so unassuming for me.
I was in a good place.
(14:17):
Finally, I got to this placewhere I was like you know what,
even if I die alone, I'll befine.
I love cats.
I love cats.
I love traveling.
I'll travel lots.
I love wine.
You know it was a nightmarishvision my future but I was like
I don't care.
I just don't care anymore.
And I honestly felt good aboutit.
(14:37):
I felt good about myself.
I'd done so much of that innerwork to clear out all of that
junk in the past that had beenshrouding my view and all of the
you know, the screwed up beliefsystems that were keeping me
dating people like my ex-fiancee, you know, and in the wrong
relationship and and all of that.
I'd cleared all of that out.
I got really clear on what Iwant to need and one of the
(14:58):
things that I really needed,that I knew that I really needed
was good music like it soundsso silly, but what I realized
was that and something I didn'thave my first engagement with I
really loved a certain genre ofmusic and I didn't get enough of
it and I love the feeling ofbeing free and going to a
festival and all of that, and soone of the little things I did
to meet my needs was like I'mjust going to go to more of
these things.
(15:18):
I didn't have friends to gowith, I didn't necessarily even
feel safe, but I was like whatdo I need to feel safe?
You know kind of made my littleplan and I took an hour train
through London, went to thismusic festival on my own and
there I was, you know, dancingaway with my little cams and he
tapped me on the shoulder and Iremember when he turned around
(15:43):
and I could I tell him all thetime that I was convinced it was
dark.
Apparently it wasn't dark.
About like 4 pm in the afternoonhe turned around.
I couldn't even see his facebecause he had shades on and a
hat, but I felt the energy.
I, you know I swear I felt theenergy.
I heard him say that he wasfrom Canada and I'd obviously
just left Canada and somesomething intuitively pulled me
(16:06):
to him to the point that I threwmy arms around his neck, gave
him a big hug, was so delightedto see him, and then we spent
the whole rest of the evening.
I tagged on with his friends,basically danced with them.
He thought I was completelybananas.
Honestly, he was like who isthis woman?
What is wrong?
What's the catch?
What's the catch?
What's the catch?
She's very enthusiastic, but Ihad no agenda.
(16:28):
I had no expectations.
He was visiting from Canada,just transiting through London.
I at no point was I thinkingthis is going to lead to
anything.
It's just the dude I met at afestival and he's got nice
energy, I feel with him and Ifelt safer with him than I felt
safer.
You know, dance around on myown and I just kind of stuck to
him.
And then we texted all nightand then, yeah, we had three
(16:52):
dates that week that he was inLondon by the end of the third
day.
I remember thinking like, holymoly, what have I done?
I've done something.
And I remember voicemailing myfriend, being like I don't know
how this is going to work.
None of this makes any sense.
From a background perspective,we're very different.
From a family perspective,we're very different.
From a cultural perspective,we're very different.
(17:14):
Keep going back to Canada.
But how's that going to work?
I live in London now.
I just, you know, sold all myassets in Canada.
I've never had to go back, andso I was like I don't know how
this is going to work.
But I think and these are mywords, I think the universe sent
him to me to show me that thereare men like him out there and
that there's a level ofconnection like this out there
where I can feel so safe, soseen, so free to be myself.
(17:37):
And I didn't have to pretend inthe slightest, at no point in
that week, in the relationshipto this day, have I ever and
touch wood honestly have I everhad to kind of stop and filter
myself, question or second guessmyself?
Everything that I was doingpreviously, riddled with doubt,
riddled with, you know,gaslighting myself, questioning
(18:01):
myself, coercing myself, bendingmyself like a pretzel to fit
into whatever you know shape Ithought would fit.
This was completely freeing andin the end, obviously it did
work out and it was pretty,pretty seamless.
I mean, the visa situation andtrying to figure out what
country to live in was notseamless, but everything else
worked out and in the process.
(18:22):
Final thing I'll add is that youknow we live in a beats in our.
We live in in spain.
I would dreamed of living inthe beats.
I didn't know how I'd make itwork.
But then I met this man who waslike, yeah, let's make it
happen, right.
He didn't know how we'd figureit out here, like we'll just
take a gamble and we'll figureit out, because we have each
other, yeah, and none of thethings that should have made
(18:43):
sense did make sense, and thestuff that did make sense before
that should have made sense,were the wrong things.
That's a really ugly statement.
But do you get what I'm tryingto say?
That it's like we have to getout of our own way.
Dai Manuel (19:00):
Well, I was going to say everything that you're
really speaking to.
You know, as much as we talkabout relationships with others,
it's first and foremost.
It sounds like you had to fixthe relationship with you first
before you could create thespace to even think about having
a relationship with somebodyelse and it sounds like you did
that work and then you got to aplace where it's like, well, I
could have a partner.
I don't, I mean, I like me, Ilike hanging out with me.
So I'm okay with the solo time,right?
Katarina Polonska (19:22):
Absolutely, and you, sorry, go on.
Dai Manuel (19:25):
Yeah, no, no, I know I was just going to say and I
just think your story is awonderful example of what's
possible when that relationshipwith self does become whole
again, Like it's just incredibleyeah.
But, sorry, I didn't mean tocut you off on your thought and
it all flows from there.
Katarina Polonska (19:38):
It all flows from there, right?
So at that point I was like,well, you know, we kind of both
quit our jobs and started tryingto figure out like where are we
going to live and how are wegoing to make this work?
And I, personally, I tried totake sabbatical like an actual
sabbatical.
I couldn't do it.
You know, I think I lastedthree weeks not working and then
I was like, oh, this is theylike it?
So I began to build a coachingbusiness.
(19:59):
I did my ICF and I just startedbuilding.
And I started as an executivecoach because I was like, well,
that's my background, workingwith executives and founders, um
, especially kind of in the, inthe, you know all the behavioral
science and the champagne workand in the philanthropy work
that I did.
But it was as I started workingwith founders which is so funny
again, because the universe, orwhatever you want to call it,
(20:20):
will always bring you to a placeof authenticity if you're
willing to listen.
And I started working withfounders and executives,
thinking I'll do effectivecoaching.
But as I worked with them overtime, I began to notice a theme
and that theme was well,everyone had anxiety and stress
and people were a little bitdepressed and I was like, yep,
okay, sound pretty founder-ish.
(20:40):
But then I drilled down deeperand that's when I realized, oh,
there's a loneliness here, oh,there's self-doubt, oh there's,
I don't know, not feeling goodenough.
And, as I drilled down intothat, the way it manifested was
both through a weak relationshipwith herself, but also in weak
(21:01):
relationships with others,whether they were unhappily
partnered.
I see that a lot.
Probably 70% of my clients areactually in a relationship
already, but they're not sureabout it, right they, and
they're not sure if it's themand they're self-sabotaging
because of that fullrelationship with themselves or
if it's actually therelationship.
And then the other mostly 30 to40 percent are single and they
(21:22):
they're also like, well,previous partners haven't worked
out whether it's, you know,divorces, the call of
engagements or long-termrelationships, and they're aware
that they never want to gothrough that again and they're
aware that they need to do thatin a work piece to actually find
that right partner.
So that's really what made mepivot and recognize oh, my
journey is not that unique,right, my journey is not that
(21:47):
unique right, my journey is notunique at all.
And, uh, this is a very commontrajectory that especially a lot
of high achievers go through,because we can high achieve our
way into a bit of self-sabotage,I think, when it comes to
relationships.
Dai Manuel (21:58):
I got to ask you this.
Katarina Polonska (21:59):
Okay.
Dai Manuel (22:00):
I think we're sort of skirting around this because,
yeah, I mean that lack ofconnection.
I mean, if we look at, like,the research of the blue zones,
or there's the nine healingfactors and radical remission.
So these are, these are studies.
That's Dr Kelly Turner and shefound that there was nine habits
that help people overcomevarious forms of cancer.
You know, and getting fromsurvival to thrival again.
(22:21):
And and yet, on the flip side,we have people around the world
living to be 100 plus thriving.
You know, in these zones and itdoesn't matter when you look at
both of these, whether it's thenine healing factors, you know,
whether it's the power ninearound vitality and longevity
community connectionrelationships are huge, yeah,
you know, huge.
(22:41):
So it connects us withlongevity.
It also connects with ourhealth and our vitality.
And yet, what is the deal withsociety and society's
expectations aroundrelationships?
Because I imagine, in yourstudies, especially with the
gender studies and seeing howsociety influences certain norms
and expectations, and we try toyou talked about this earlier
you know this idea of trying toconform into a box, to tick all
(23:04):
the boxes.
You know it's sort of thecurated instagram life.
Right, like we, we have acertain idea and a vision yeah
um, and why?
I guess the question I want toask you is you know, like, how
do society's expectations differfrom our own personal needs?
Because I think that's got tobe where there's a disconnect,
because it's hard to reconcile.
Do you know what I mean by that?
(23:26):
Like, does that make sense?
Do you have enough there tojust dive into that?
Okay, go ahead, dive in.
Because I just I see this, andagain being a father of two
daughters that are at dating age, you know.
Katarina Polonska (23:44):
I like I want them to hear this, so please go
ahead.
Oh no, I love that you askedthis question.
I love that you asked thisquestion because you know what's
so funny.
I was grappling for so longlike do I become a relationship
coach?
What?
Dai Manuel (23:50):
will people think?
What will people?
Katarina Polonska (23:52):
think they'll think that you know cat belongs
over in freaking oxford and Ilocked their mind and blah, blah
.
I was so like initially ashamedbecause I was a this isn't
professional, I can't be onLinkedIn.
And now look whose inbox isfilled with DMs of people on
LinkedIn professionals who arelike help me, because everyone's
(24:12):
miserable out there.
But there is actually ahorrifying stat.
Well, yeah, 58% of women haveadmit openly to being unhappy in
their current relationship.
Not admitting.
I would have admitted ifsomeone asked me back then.
Right, I would have kept mymouth quiet and smiled.
But I think the question of whyyou said you know what's the
disconnect between fighting ourneeds, I honestly think and I
(24:36):
could go on a whole soapbox onthis but I honestly think if
people had asked us, if ourparents, whoever it is had asked
us at a younger age, even inour 20s, like, what is it that
you need?
And we've really sat anddrilled down into our needs, we
did.
You know stage seven of myprogram, stage six, rather, of
my program.
I don't know anyone who wouldsay I need to be in an office 9
(25:01):
to 5 pm sat on a chair.
I need to be, you know, part ofthe corporate structure where
I'm so disconnected from theoutput of my labor I'm just
sending emails all day and I'mjust sending emails.
All we do is send emails or bein meetings.
Like we are so disconnectedfrom our needs because I think
society makes us be disconnectedfrom our needs, because I think
(25:21):
society makes us bedisconnected from money, because
I think that's how societyfunctions.
And if we think aboutconsumerism and you know I don't
want to go into some kind ofcapitalist tirade, but there is
truth in there how I was talkingto a behavioral scientist, how
there are more single peoplethan ever right now, partly
because of capitalism, becauseof people are able to get their
(25:42):
dopamine hits really quickly bybuying things.
You don't have to go and find apartner and try and whatever,
have sex with them or build arelationship with them to get
their dopamine hit.
You can just download it on theinternet, you can just order it
on Amazon, you can go onholiday.
So people are getting theirneeds met in a kind of very
maladaptive ways or verysuperficial ways.
(26:04):
And so we get into these cycleswhere we're so disconnected
from what we really need, whichis most likely going to be, you
know, deep love and connection,a deep sense of safety, and we
start a deep sense of communitythat we start solving for them
in a very superficial way, inthe most accessible ways that
are available to us, and oftenthese are very maladaptive,
right, and so I think that'swhere we get stuck and no one
(26:29):
ever taught us to really look atour needs.
No one ever taught.
I remember when I starteddiving into my needs I was like,
oh, this is different to what Iwant, right?
Everyone when I work withclients, everyone knows what
they want.
I knew what I want, right?
Everyone when I work withclients, everyone knows what
they want.
I knew what I wanted.
I wanted like 6'4", you know,dark hair and like strapping.
That's not what I need, that'snothing to do with what I need.
(26:50):
His height is nothing to dowith what I need.
And we get caught up in thatsuperficial narrative.
I don't think it's our fault.
Dai Manuel (26:59):
I think society's kind of geared that way and I
gotta ask you okay, and I didn'tmean to cut you off because I,
I just think this will actuallyjust give a bit more direction
to where this is going, where Ithink it's going, where you're
leading us.
Um, yeah, so we got these sortof society norms that we're
trying to fit into and you know,keeping up with the joneses of
(27:21):
the old cliche that you used toget all the time right, and I
still see that.
But I, I see, I feel, and basedon the conversation they have,
what I hear from people in theaudience, you know, like it's
just hard and it doesn't feellike it's getting any easier.
Yeah, and we have to look atthe influence of the algorithm,
and when I say the, it's notlike I'm talking about some big
(27:42):
zeitgeist conspiracy here, butthe algorithms are so
sophisticated now, with theinjection of AI and the
proliferation of like datingapps, yes, yes, how is this
affecting the new societal viewon relationships?
Because, I mean, I'm at my atmy wife.
You know we've been happilydating my wife, you know, for
(28:04):
like going on almost 24 yearsnow.
But we didn't meet online youknow, we met the old-fashioned
way.
My brother introduced me, theyworked together in a restaurant
and that's how I met her, andyou know, the rest is history.
But I know of a lot of peoplethat have had successful
connections and now are marriedwith people that they've met in
you know various dating apps, uh, but and I know this is
(28:25):
becoming more norm but is thisaffecting just the way that we
look at relationships, the waywe interact?
Katarina Polonska (28:29):
or communicate, talk like how has
that changed so much because,like I mean gonna say yeah, and
the kind of the obvious one isthat, um, the possibility of
people, right, we in kind ofnormal quote unquote, because I
(28:54):
do think dating apps are normaland, again, there's nothing
wrong with dating apps.
I think you just have to knowhow to use them.
And and I do go woo-woo with myclients when I talk about
dating apps I'm like there is anelement of like your energy
around this stuff, right, butthe point is, when we were in
the olden days, we would meetpeople in our community and
there were stakes involved.
(29:14):
You couldn't just ghost someonethat you worked with or ghost
someone that's your neighbor orthat your family knows.
You'd be humiliated.
You couldn't do that.
That was just insightful, right.
But then, and I remember when Istarted doing dating apps, which
was in my like kind of mid tolate 20s, but I was like this is
really weird, I've met someonewho's completely out of my
circle.
It's the equivalent of meetingsomeone, connections, and even
(29:37):
then the bar might be, you know,miles and miles away from any
bar I would normally go to, sothey're really far removed.
That we have the states arelower, there's more options.
The world is our oyster, we canpick, and I think that does
create this culture of thinkingdisposable.
I will never forget being on adate in london, sitting in a
park besotted by this guy,looking at him all bambi-eyed,
(30:00):
thinking you know he's the one,and then him turning around and
saying to me how he's reallyhappy that we had this lovely
date together and he's soexcited for the week because
there are so many qualifiedleads entering London every day
from a dating perspective.
Dai Manuel (30:16):
Are you kidding me?
He says that what?
Oh my God, what a cheese ball.
Oh the smoke.
Katarina Polonska (30:22):
Quantified meat, and I remember he was like
that's crazy, isn't it?
But he had a point right.
For him it was like aplayground.
He had, you know, like 2,000women a day that he could swipe
with and connect with, and so Ithink that's a really, really
tarnished thing because we'vecommodified people, right.
(30:42):
And then you add that littledopamine hit of all the swipes
and the lights and whatever youcall them, and and that sense of
kind of validation and people.
Unfortunately again, not ourfault, but I do think that
society with all of its quickdopamine hits, with all of its
disconnect from each other andthe kind of digital world that
(31:03):
we live in, I think it hascaused a lot of unhealed people
who are ultimately eitherfeeling very disconnected right
from themselves, from each otherthey're probably not feeling at
all in any shape or form enoughbecause everyone's competing
and the standards areunattainable, especially we
think about beauty, we thinkabout wealth, from a man's
perspective.
(31:23):
These things are not attainablefor the masses.
So there's this kind ofconstant sense of I'm not enough
.
There's something wrong with meI'm bad and so we're seeking
this validation and thisconnection through these alter
algorithms that are geared tokeep us on the app.
So, no, they're not going towork right, because they're
(31:46):
trying to buy and sell themembership Like it's.
Back to that modification andback to the dopamine hits, and
so we're kind of chasing thislike elusive algorithm.
Dai Manuel (31:56):
The dating apps and social media more generally are
an abusive relationship thatwe're in right, unless you can
reprogram those algorithms tofeed you more of really the good
stuff that's going to elevateand enhance life, rather than
just simply make you questioneverything that you're doing.
Katarina Polonska (32:11):
You know, it's like constant comparison.
Dai Manuel (32:14):
Right, like you fall into that trap.
It's like my time online and Ilet people know this because
it's funny I network, I'll meetsomebody at an event and they're
like sure they might, we mightbe connected online.
I don't go to people's profilesand look what they're doing
like I don't like yes, I'mresearching them for a
conversation like this.
Then it makes sense.
But I my time is spent creatingand engaging with those that
(32:37):
engage, you know.
I got yeah the consumptionpiece was really affecting my
mental health, like my anxietyjust went through the roof.
It was just.
It was incredible at just allthese negative emotions that
started to to just appear.
And they weren't just appearing, they were.
They were coming because I wasjust falling into these little
traps of comparing and judgingand that's just.
(33:00):
It's wild what can happen.
But the crazy thing is, themore you consume of that content
, the more it feeds you.
Yeah, it's like this.
It feels like a black hole thatit's really challenging to get
out of.
And and I guess you know to tosort of continue along this
conversation or at least thistopic that we're on the social
media and the just the theinfluence of connecting with
(33:21):
people online.
How many of your clients orpeople that you've worked with
are connected with over theseyears in this position, and do
they struggle with justconnecting with people when they
finally meet them?
Because I, I see a lot ofpeople like I'll connect with
somebody on Instagram, as anexample, and have a great
conversation through DMS.
Then, all of a sudden, we'llmeet in real life or on a zoom
(33:43):
call and it feels like it'sreally forced conversation, like
it just feels like there's likeI'm like where did that
connection go?
That we had it on IG, yeah, andand I just don't feel the same
energy or we're not connectingLike it.
Just I'm just curious if otherpeople are dealing with this
inability to connect in reallife because we're so accustomed
to dealing through these shortDM, quick, little hit messages,
(34:05):
you know.
Katarina Polonska (34:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's such a good point
and it's something.
It's funny.
My mom complained about it allthe time.
My mom, because she's back tothe office and she said people
have changed.
Going back to the office she'slike people don't want to be in
the office, people don't want tobe around other people, they
want to be back home where theycan control their own space.
I mean, in fairness, I don'treally want to be in an office
(34:26):
either, but I still connect withpeople every day.
But the point is it has shiftedand I think my cousin and I had
this conversation actually whenI was visiting her.
I do believe there's been a bitof a collective trauma after
COVID.
I think that has kind ofruptured our ability to be more
spontaneous and able to connect.
(34:47):
We spent so many years notconnecting right or connecting
digitally, and then people areable to hide and have a, I want
to say, facade, but a lot ofpeople don't really know who
they are and a lot of peopledon't know what their their
wounding is, what theirprogramming is.
They don't really know where toeven start when it comes to
(35:08):
connecting to themselves deeply,and so there's a lot of this
kind of performativity, this Idon't say people pleasing, but
kind of on the c lot of thiskind of performativity, this I
don't want to say peoplepleasing, but kind of on the
cusp of people pleasing, ofshowing up with.
This is how I'm going to showup and that's very easy to
deliver.
When it's online, right whenyou're behind a screen and no
one can see you and you're inthe DM, you can role play anyone
(35:29):
you want to be.
Even if you're introverted andshy, you can role play that
you're not and there's nothingwrong with being that.
So when it comes to being inperson or you come to having a
real-life connection, thatauthenticity piece of who you
are, that's already kind of beenput into question.
You've already kind of beenhiding that.
I guess it's kind of hidingnarrative, it is right.
(35:51):
It's kind of almost likecollective hiding since they're
curated.
Dai Manuel (35:55):
Right, it's curated as well, like it's as people are
very selective about what theyshare, how they share it.
Yeah, it just feels likethere's a lot of like
anticipated judgment, so I'mgoing to just put this out there
.
Yeah, it's like we want to avoidany possible critique or
judgment and we like to justpaint these really pretty
pictures yeah, I my wife and I,we lived in bali, you know, with
(36:16):
our two daughters for two and ahalf years and while we were
this is all pre-covid and um Ijust remember how many people I
would meet that would come tobali, you know, obviously for
various reasons.
I mean, it's a nice place to be, it's a nice place to call home
for a little time, similar toibiza, a little bit more
developed there and well, a lotmore developed.
But you know, regardless, whenyou live in a country like that,
(36:40):
like you, just you meet people,travelers, nomadic people and
people that are working online,and I just found that there's so
many people that were hurting.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure, and it just it reallyshook me because I hadn't really
experienced it, because, youknow, we lived in Vancouver, we
traveled around North America,we hadn't really experienced the
kind of nomadic lifestyle untilthat point in time.
(37:01):
Yeah, yeah, and I was justamazed at how many people were
actually really hurting.
Katarina Polonska (37:05):
Yeah, yeah.
Dai Manuel (37:07):
And, but you would just never know.
Katarina Polonska (37:10):
Yeah.
Dai Manuel (37:17):
Like if you had to go off their socials.
Katarina Polonska (37:18):
You would just never know.
Dai Manuel (37:18):
Like, I mean dj twitch, I think he really
brought this to the forefront.
You know what was that lastyear?
I believe two years ago.
Yeah, it was a year and a halfago.
You remember, like when he hetook his own life and, uh,
everybody, even ellen degenera,like what the hell happened
there?
You know, like nobody knew, no,and I think this mental health
piece, yeah, yeah, yeah, right,exactly exactly, exactly.
Katarina Polonska (37:34):
I agree with you and I think, I think,
because we're so, we're in sucha culture, we can just kind of
numb out, distract, hide,dopamine, hit again.
It's very easy to not even beaware that you are hurting
because it's painful, and so youturn on the tv, right there's
um.
There are studies that peoplehave this kind of low-level
(37:55):
stress because they're in painbecause of their own kind of
wounding, their childhoodwounding and whatever's coming
up for them.
They're the ones who willtypically be playing music to go
to sleep or playing the TV andfalling asleep to the TV, but
it's like they have the constantdistraction from just being
with themselves and that is kindof the stuff that's fueling
that hiding right.
(38:16):
That's kind of showing up in avery curated way, that selective
way, that people-pleasing way,as opposed to the all-frontal
heros who I am.
I'm the same in my DMs as I amon camera, as I am in person.
You know there's multipleversions of me showing up, but
it's the same core of who I am.
Dai Manuel (38:33):
That's right, right, yeah, makes it a lot easier to
show up too, though.
Katarina Polonska (38:38):
Oh, so much easier, so much more real estate
in the brain.
Dai Manuel (38:41):
Totally, and it's less stressful you never have to
second guess anything you'resaying, it's just that's what
was live and real for me at thatmoment when I made that post,
and that's just the way it.
You know, like, take with itwhat you want.
Well, listen, katerina, I couldtalk to you all day, but the
poor person of the show is alsoto instill some actionable steps
that people can do, less than30 minutes a day, to start
(39:02):
achieving a little bit more,let's let's just say, a
healthier relationship with self.
That's probably a great placeto begin.
So, when you work with yourclients, what, what is an
exercise that you think would bemost beneficial for people to
embrace or try to doconsistently for the next seven
to 10 days?
After listening to this, youknow, and obviously I'm going to
link them to your website.
I know you got so many greatresources online, so all that's
(39:22):
gonna be linked in the shownotes, everybody, along with all
of katarina socials, um, also,she's got a couple quick
announcements, but we're gonnasave that before we leave.
So don't let me forget,katarina, because I know you got
a podcast coming out.
So, um, by the time this is out, everybody, the podcast should
already be live.
But regardless, um, what wouldbe an actionable item or an
invitation to do an exercise tohelp people start to develop a
(39:45):
healthier relationship with self?
Like, and I I mean, where doyou even begin with that?
So if you could maybe justoffer up what a good first step
would be for those individuals,that'd be great yeah, absolutely
, absolutely.
Katarina Polonska (39:55):
So.
It's not going to sound likeanything radical or super
exciting, but it's probably themost powerful technique that you
can take away and that's goingto look like getting to know
yourself through inner inquiry,which is really kind of a
mindfulness practice.
But the way that it looks likeis when, as and when you start
getting triggered or somethinghappens or you feel sad or you
notice anything, feel off orunpleasant or kind of negative,
(40:17):
then just taking a pause, takinga moment to step outside of
yourself and go inward, put yourattention inward and start
getting curious.
Number one what is thesensation in my body?
Where is it?
Is it in your chest?
Is it in your belly?
Is it on your shoulders?
How does it feel?
Just noting how it feels isalready going to dissipate a lot
of that pain that you'refeeling and acknowledging it,
(40:38):
right.
And then the second piece isjust getting curious like what
is it that I'm feeling?
Is it shame?
Is it anger?
Is it frustration?
Is it grief?
Like what is it?
Getting curious about theemotion?
There might be multipleemotions.
And then the third piece isgoing to be what is it I need
(40:59):
right now to feel better?
Right, super simple, supersimple simple.
Dai Manuel (41:01):
Yeah, doesn't mean it's easy, though, otherwise
everybody would do it.
Katarina Polonska (41:06):
I know, I know, I know but, it's such a
valuable little hack.
I think to um yeah I thinkthose are great.
Dai Manuel (41:14):
I mean that's fantastic and I think that's a
wonderful way to invite peopleto start this introspective
process.
But also the mindfulness piece.
I really do appreciate that.
I find, when we start to tapinto some of those things that
we get very good at justignoring, you can't turn it off,
Like as soon as you getconditioned to noticing those
(41:35):
things absolutely.
It becomes easier to notice themright like it becomes just
normal and uh and I think that'sthe biggest challenge is most
people and I'm included in thisyou know, when we start to try
to new things and I mean youbeing behavioral scientists, you
know this more than anyone ifwe're not consistent and
frequent enough with what we'retrying to do.
Yeah, yeah, we shouldn't beupsetting yourself that we
(41:56):
didn't get the result that wedid.
We actually do the work well.
No, we didn't.
Yeah, you know, I'm soattractive, yeah, and yeah, so I
I wanted to talk to you justreal briefly before we we start
to close today.
Um, your coaching practice, Iknow you have a very unique, but
it's also very well.
But it also comes through yourown life experience and work
with different clients anddifferent experiences.
(42:18):
But I know you have a 12 step or12 stage journey that you take
people on.
Can you quickly explain thatand just how does that work for
for those that might beinterested in going the next
step, to connect with you, toget some support with this?
Katarina Polonska (42:32):
What does?
Dai Manuel (42:33):
that sort of flow look like.
Katarina Polonska (42:40):
And how did you come up with it?
Actually, they're actually.
All of that flow is in themaster class that I have on my
website and high level, which Ihighly recommend watching high,
high, high level.
It is a three-phase process and, given that I'm from a
corporate background, I like tocall an end-to-end solution for
every need when it comes toleveling up your relationship,
whether that's finding love,deciding whether you should stay
or go in your currentrelationship or improving it.
(43:01):
And three phases.
Phase one is liberation theliberating yourself from the
pain of the past and all of yourself-sabotage.
So that's looking at theinternal programming, clearing
it out and making sure that it'snot shrouding your view.
A lot of people do a bit ofthis in therapy, but they don't
necessarily clear it.
They get awareness, but theydon't dig into the root causes,
and that's what we want to doGet rid of it.
(43:22):
It's gone for good.
Phase two is the behavioralscience phase.
So once you cleared that out,you can then see clearly what is
it that you actually need inrelation to be happy and in your
life broadly.
Most people jump to this, butthey haven't cleared it.
So what's blocking?
It is going to block them fromseeing this right.
So you kind of have to do it ina kind of order.
So, getting clear on what it isthat you need.
(43:42):
Then I also talk about thebehavioral science of a healthy
relationship and dating and allof that.
So that's really important too.
And the gender dynamics pieceis here as well.
So is here as well.
So getting curious about whoyou are and what is it that you
need.
And then phase three is theintegrity piece.
So how can we, now that you'vecleared all the past, got clear
on what it is that you want toneed and who you are, get that
into integrity with your lives,so that dating relationships
(44:03):
aren't something that you haveto kind of be on an app swiping
for an hour a day, feeling awful, but it's something that you do
very naturally, veryorganically, and comes to you
when you're least expecting it,like obviously, like it happened
to my clients, it happens whenthey're really not expecting at
all.
So that's the third phase, andthere's also a bit of
(44:23):
communication in there too,because we all need to learn how
to communicate, no kidding.
Dai Manuel (44:28):
I mean, I just love how thorough, but also how
complete.
Katarina Polonska (44:32):
Yes.
Dai Manuel (44:33):
You know and you described it, you said end to
end and it really does soundcomprehensive that way.
And I love the fact that you'realso really big on just it's
implementation and doing thepractice right, like I mean,
that's where everything happens,yeah.
I know people are probably sickof me saying this.
You know over a hundred episodesnow, and I think I've said it
every freaking episode I'm likelisten, you are a byproduct of
(44:54):
what you do and what you doregularly.
So you don't like the outcome,you got to change the input.
That's scientific method 101,right, I mean it's a dumbed down
version, but it really is that.
And if we're aware of whatwe're putting in or the actions
we're taking every day, it'spretty easy to correlate and be
like oh, that's probably why.
I'm getting this result, I'mdoing this way 100%, and so I
(45:14):
really appreciate how you've putthis together.
I think it's just so smart,okay, smart.
And so you've got some excitingstuff coming up here.
I do.
I do Tell us about it, becauseI think this is only going to
extend, because I want to inviteeverybody.
If you've found some value inwhat we've been talking about
today, you gotta go check outkatarina's platform.
That master class is available.
(45:36):
It's linked in the show notes.
Go, do yourself a favor and atleast get some better awareness
on everything we've been talkingabout today, because she goes
way deeper in a lot of this.
So we would have needed, youknow, probably 12 hours to get
through even the chunk of it.
So, uh, we don't have the time,but you might, and you can get
it on demand.
So there you go.
That's great, but what are someof the exciting projects that
(45:57):
are coming to fruition in the?
Katarina Polonska (45:58):
next few months?
Yeah, great question.
So the masterclass is anamazing place to start.
I literally walk through theentire methodology, what
curriculum looks like and how.
I talk about the commonpitfalls as well that people
fall into, which is a big one.
So if you find yourself notfeeling great in your love life,
definitely check it out.
So that's one of the things.
I also have a PDF version of itbecause I know some people
(46:19):
actually read and kind ofanalyze.
So I've kind of walked throughthe methodology.
As we download, as you go withit, you can find also on the
website website,katrinabloggercom.
Nothing comes like that.
And then, yeah, I.
And then, yeah, I have apodcast coming out in July.
Dai Manuel (46:33):
What's it called?
Katarina Polonska (46:34):
What's it called?
It'll be called, like the nameof my program, the Successfully
in Love podcast.
So yeah, yeah.
Dai Manuel (46:42):
Because it's very innovative as well.
No, I love that it's like it'snot success and love.
No, it's successfully in love,Exactly, and I love that it's
the active it's like.
(47:08):
I like to tell people you knowwhat Nike's good?
Just do it.
It's fine.
But you know what's better?
Just did it.
That's way better.
I'm done.
I finished it.
I did the thing.
Katarina Polonska (47:14):
I said I was going to do, and so I really
appreciate your today that maybeI skirted over.
I forgot to ask Is thereanything that you know, I think
you did yeah, yeah, yeah,because I think you did yeah
Very good job.
Dai Manuel (47:20):
Yeah, I mean I do have other questions, but I'm
just going to have you backagain, so I would love to come
back.
Oh yeah, you all heard that Idon't have you back, katerina,
because I know there's going tobe a lot of questions, there's
going to be some commentary,we're going to get some feedback
on this conversation andeveryone that's listening.
(47:42):
Is there questions that youhave for Katerina?
Really easy to do this you cango to my Buzzsprout.
You can send me a direct textmessage from there, spotify, and
comment on the episode directly, or just reach out on any
social media platform and justlet us know what you're thinking
and what you'd love to hearfrom her on, and we'll have her
back for another episode to divedeep on that subject and and
(48:02):
listen.
I, I, I want to just acknowledgeyou.
Thank you, ken Arena, for beinghere today to share on these
beautiful insights and just alsosome great overall perspective
on some trends and where thingsare going, but also what we can
do to start to intervene if wedon't like where it's going, and
I think that was just one ofthe most empowering things that
(48:23):
you left us with today is thatyou know what.
Start here.
Katarina Polonska (48:27):
Start with ourselves Right and just see
what happens.
Dai Manuel (48:32):
And I'd like to give you last word.
I always do that with my guests, so before we leave today, if
there's somebody out therethat's maybe thinking yeah, this
sounded all good, I just don'tknow if I'm worth the effort.
What would you say to them, orwhat words of advice would you
like to offer up to them?
Katarina Polonska (48:51):
You're a thousand percent worth the
effort and it's your birthrightto have what you want and
deserve in your relationships.
Thousand percent worth theeffort, not even in question oh,
I love that you said birthright.
I think that's so powerful I, Isay the same thing.
Dai Manuel (49:08):
I mean it's your birthday to be happy, like, I
think, everyone should beentitled to being happy, you
know, and satisfied, andfulfilled and joyful and yeah.
Oh well, said I was like dropmy mic, but it's a little
expensive.
So, I won't, but uh, oh, youknow what I did though.
Oh, those that are watchingthis on video, you can see this.
Katarina Polonska (49:27):
I bought a toy mic just so I could do that.
Dai Manuel (49:31):
Drop the mic.
That was Catherine.
You are awesome.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for having me.
This is such an inspiringconversation.
So again, everybody, I'll seeyou in the outro.
And katarina, again thanks forbeing here today.
Good luck with the podcastlaunch.
Let us know how we can supportand, uh, excited to have you
back for a future episode in thecoming.
Katarina Polonska (49:52):
Yes, yeah, yeah, thank you so much for
having me.
Thank you.
Dai Manuel (49:56):
Absolute pleasure.
Thank you All right.
What did I tell you?
I said it was epic, right, acompletely enlightening
conversation.
Thank you to Katarina forjoining us today and sharing her
profound insights into highperformance relationships, from
her journey of overcomingchallenges to our expert advice
(50:18):
on building deeper connections.
She's given us much to consider, as well as much to act upon
Now.
For those that were listeningand paying attention, here's the
main takeaways I took fromtoday's conversation.
I'd like to know if you feltthe same.
Number one is invest inyourself.
Katerina emphasized theimportance of personal
development and how investing inyourself can lead to
(50:40):
transformative changes in yourlife.
Number two was understandingyour needs.
Discovering and understandingyour actual needs beyond
societal expectations, iscrucial for building authentic
relationships.
And then, number threemindfulness and self-inquiry.
Simple practices likemindfulness and self-inquiry can
help you connect with yourinner self and improve your
(51:03):
relationships with others.
Check out Katarina's website atKatarinaPolonskacom and follow
her on Instagram, linkedin andYouTube for more valuable
content.
She's just a dynamo and just apleasure not only to chat with
but to listen to.
I mean, you gotta love thataccent, right?
And also don't miss herupcoming podcast Successfully in
Love that should be released byQ4 2024.
(51:27):
I'll be double checking on thatand, if it is live, I'll be
including that in the show notesalong with all of her contact
details, because in her podcastSuccessfully in Love, she's
going to be diving deeper into alot of the content that she
talked about today on the show,but also a whole pile more.
If you found value in today'sepisode, please subscribe to the
2% Solution podcast, leave us areview and share it with your
(51:49):
friends and family.
Your support helps us continuebringing you inspiring content
and incredible guests likeKatarina.
Thank you for tuning in.
Remember, small changes canlead to significant
transformations.
Stay inspired, stay motivatedand we'll see you in the next
episode.
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