July 21, 2021 • 53 mins
Christian de la Huerta is an award-winning Author, Personal Transformation Coach, and TEDx speaker.
He's a retreat facilitator, relationships expert, spiritual coach, and leadership consultant that has dedicated his life to facilitating profound personal transformation.
Christian's latest book, Awakening the Soul of Power, is a call for all of us to wake up to our full potential so we can create a world beyond our wildest dreams.
Connect with Christian at soulfulpower.com on Facebook and Instagram
Purchase Awakening the Soul of Power here and be sure to join his Facebook group.
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Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:04):
Welcome to the action hour. My name is Jesse Simpson
and I believe there's never beena better time in the history of
the world to be alive. I'm on amission to bring you the
insights, ideas and inspirationyou need to uncover your
greatness and take action onyour dreams. If you want to
start a business, write a book,take a big trip, or level up to
(00:24):
a higher state of living in theworld. mentally, physically,
spiritually, or financially. Thestories found in the show will
provide the action steps andenergy you need to succeed. No
matter what you are goingthrough or where you've been,
you can at any time, break thatcycle and transform your life.
This show is going to show youhow to do it. If you've got the
(00:47):
itch to act, now is the time.
Allow the inspiring storieswithin this show to serve as
your guide. This is the actionhour, buckle up
and enjoy the ride. Welcome backto the action hour Ladies and
gentlemen, I've got anincredible guest lined up for
you today. Christian de laHuerta is an award winning
author, and personaltransformation coach and TEDx
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speaker. He's a retreatfacilitator, relationships
expert, spiritual coach andleadership consultants that has
dedicated his life tofacilitating profound personal
transformation. Christian, hislatest book, awakening, the soul
of power is a call for all of usto wake up to our full
potential. So we can create aworld beyond our wildest dreams.
And it is such an honor to haveyou on here, Christian, your
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book is a work of art, I look upto you with all the stuff you're
doing at the retreats and allthe expertise you have in the
spiritual community. Thank youso much for coming on to the
action hour.
Thanks. Thank you, Jesse forhaving me on the show. I was
looking at some of some of thethings that you do retreats and
teach about, and there's a lotof overlap and what we do.
Absolutely, I'm super excited toget into this, I think it's
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gonna, this is like more like alive podcast for me, because I'm
just excited to learn more aboutthe work you do and what got you
on it. Because I mean, after wego to retreats, with you doing
it for the last 30 years, Imean, I feel like everyone is
doing retreats these days but togo back that long, and be like
almost like, you know, you'releading the way for all of us to
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paving the way for all of us tobe now facilitating these
retreats. I'm so excited to diveinto that, again, your book is
amazing. There's so muchpractical wisdom in there. And
just a call to action. I lovethe idea of power, the new way
of thinking about masculinity,and ego and all this sort of
stuff. Christian, thanks so muchfor, for doing what you do.
Thank you so much. And thank youso much for saying that. I
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really appreciate it.
Absolutely. Well, I'd first liketo start off I think I picked up
in the book somewhere that youmaybe have eight brothers and
sisters. Is that right?
Yeah. I'm one of Nine. Eight ofus now, one of my brothers
drowned about 30 years ago. Butyeah, I'm the second oldest of
nine. Wow, what was it likegrowing up in that household?
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Oh, my god, it was so much fun.
And we're so tight, we're allclose. And we're very self
sufficient. Right? We moved outwhen I was 10. We left I was
wanting Cuba live there for myfirst 10 years and we moved to
Spain. We moved toMilledgeville, Georgia for three
years and then eventually landedin Miami. And but because there
was so much moving, we gottight, and we were self
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sufficient. And you know,there's something about large
families to like kind of becomemagnetic. So we're always
attracting, you know, friends,and there's so much fun and so
much creativity and so muchjoking around and just ribbing
each other and very, veryloving, very supportive.
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There's one thing that I'verealized from spending my time
in Latin America and I have afriend that's you, you're at the
CO working space I work out ofthat is from India, it's sort of
same thing like the LatinAmerican and Eastern family,
like the culture is just sonatural that bringing everyone
together and everyone helps eachother and works together and all
these sort of things, you know,three generations sometimes or
more, live in the samehousehold. And I hear that being
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reflected here. But it's like sofar away from the United States,
like everyone's in their box, noone knows their neighbors we all
kind of keep to ourselves andthen we'll sometimes have family
reunions, what's been yourexperience with like the
separate the different sort ofways of living in community.
You know, what's what what Ilove about our family too, is
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that even the next generation somy my nieces and my nephews we
all hang out together, like,like, we all enjoy each other's
company. So it is very multigenerational. And I feel I feel
like it's a blessing. It's ablessing to have that. Like I
know. And of course we don't seeeye to eye on everything. It's
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like no family does. But I knowthat wherever I am in the world,
if I need anything, I just callmy, anybody in my family and I
know that they're there. There'sit's to have that kind of
unquestioned support, it'sthere's a lot to be said for
that I feel very blessed.
Absolutely. That sounds reallybeautiful. I think we all need
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someone to, we all need, wecan't do this alone, you know.
And as we step into learningmore about the book and and all
the things you are creating inthe world, it's so great to know
you have that support systembehind you. Now, you read it in
the book about being an unlikelyperson on this journey to write
about heroism, and awakening thesoul of power, you talk a lot
about heroism and, and all thesedifferent things that are coming
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on. And I want to dive into thatnow we'd like to know a bit more
about your journey, what led youwriting the book and really
owning this, this power, youhave to create something so, so
wonderful. Yeah, thankyou so much. You know what
Jesse, I think, I think COVIDhas served us in some ways
without minimizing the tragicaspects of it. But one of the
ways in which has served us isthat we expand, have expanded
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the definition of what it meansto live heroically like before
that we used to think they'resuperheroes or guys, like, you
know, former Marine vet orfirefighter of the year, you
know, somebody who has placedtheir lives at risk for the sake
of somebody else with the sakeof a cause. Now, because since
COVID, we've expanded that toinclude our doctors and nurses
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and respiratory therapists, andeven know the delivery people
and the grocery store clerks,who made a lot of sacrifices in
their own personal lives andeven their own lives to keep the
rest of us going. And what thewhat the series of books is
about is like, what about therest of us? Like, what does it
mean to live heroically? When wedon't have the horse hitched
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outside and the armors and thedemons to slay except the ones
in our own heads? And so thisfirst book is about how does how
does a hero and, and I look, andI use that term, generically,
because heroine kind of smacksof something else. So I use it
in a gender neutral way. So howdoes how does a hero step into
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power in a way that's not abouthierarchy in a way that's not
about control, about fear, aboutforce about domination that
doesn't require that we pushanybody down, step on them,
squelching them in order for usto feel powerful, like how do we
do that in a different way? AndI don't know if I answered your
question. I think I might havegotten sidetracked.
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No, well, you're, you'respeaking into what calls you to
this to this book. And I would100% agree with you the idea
that, like, we're all beingcalled to become the heroes in
our story, you know, and wewrite this, that step into this
new world. But I'd be curious,like, What led you on this path?
Who uncovered, uncovering thiswithin yourself and motivated
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you to write the book?
Yeah, you know, it's like I likeI do feel like I'm an unlikely
person to be writing aboutpersonal empowerment and living
heroically, I can't tell you howshy it was as a teenager as I
was okay, one on one. But if youadded a third human I clammed
up. And it was so terrified thatI didn't do this intentionally.
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But looking back on it, Isabotage my grade point average,
I had pretty much 4.0 except forone beat. And but that was
enough to knock me out of thevaledictorian robe. And I know I
did that subconsciously. Becausethere's just no way there is no
way on earth that I could havegotten up in front of a room of
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filled auditorium filled withhundreds and hundreds of people.
And spoken there's just no way.
And what's interesting aboutthat, is that these days, I
speak all over the world, I'vespoken at dozens of university
campuses on the TEDx stage. Andso that's part of what I, the
reason I know that the teachingsthat I share about in this book
that they work, because theythey work for me, there's just
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something hypothetical I, I readin another book, this is like,
actually lived this way. And itworks. And, and, you know, it's
interesting to the power thingand my own personal life,
because I lived in a communistcountry for the first 10 years
of my life. So veryhierarchical, you know, like, in
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a communist country, you don'teven talk about personal power,
the state owns you, and decideseverything for you. It's not
like so many freedoms that wetake for granted here in the US
and other democratic countriesor pseudo democratic countries,
where you can choose what you'regoing to do with your life and
what you're going to study inthose countries. At least when I
was living there, I don't knowhow it is now, but you didn't
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decide what to study like youwould if you were allowed to go
to college, you were told whatyou were going to study. And you
know, it's like they pretty muchowned you know, everything like
he owned was with stateproperty. And also, as you know,
the nine kids might have givenyou a clue about I was raised
really Catholic. And so anothervery hierarchical power
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structure, where the powerdefinitely comes from above you
don't you don't decide it andyou're told what to believe
you're taught what's right.
What's wrong with all therespect to that religion, but
it's very patriarchal, verypower over instead of power
with, which is what this book isabout, like how do we step into
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power in a different way?
That's, that's amazing. You comefrom such a, we've had such
contrast a duality of comingfrom a communist country for the
first 10 years of your life tonow moving to the church, and
now stepping in to own yourpower and, and show other people
how they can do the same. I'mcurious, that jumped out at me
about the idea of being raisingbeing raised in a Catholic
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Church, can you splice out thedifference between spirituality
that you speak of in religionthat so regarding or the
religion we talk about, we thinkabout Catholicism or
Christianity. Yeah.
And I only say that I honor allspiritual paths. I also
challenged them, you know, to,to the, to a degree that a
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particular religion or spiritualpath is, is helping us to become
more authentically who we are,who is helping us to have a
direct connection with thesacred, however you relate to
that. However, you think ofthat, to the degree that they're
making us better human beings,that they're fostering peace and
unity and understanding, thenthey're doing their job. And
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sadly, a lot of them are not alot of them are are fostering
division, and hatred and what Icall the theological pissing
contest, my God is bigger thanyours. And so, so here's how I
think about it. Read the wordreligion comes from the Latin
legato, which means to rebind,presumably, to rebind, to the
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sacred. But to me that feelsbinding, it feels restrictive.
The word spirituality, comesfrom the root spirare which from
that same root, we getrespiration, and inspiration.
And so there's this to me thatfeels much more life giving,
life flowing into the breaththere's so many examples and
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holy texts about God breathinglife into us. That to me, that
feels I'm today I'm in thisspiritual, not religious
category. And you know, this,it's the breath spirit
connection is important for me,I've been practicing breathwork
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and offering breathwork in myretreats for 30 years. And it's
just amazing how a simplebreathing practice can heal so
profoundly, and so quickly at somany levels, not only
emotionally and mentally, butspiritually and even physically.
And I know that sounds too goodto be true. You know, I come out
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of the psychotherapy tradition,my dad was a psychiatrist, my
degrees in psychology, I was ona track to get a PhD in
psychology. And when Idiscovered breathwork, over 30
years ago, I jumped tracks,because it works so fast and
heal so profoundly, in so manyways. never went for the PhD.
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Why you got to breathwork PhD,and like you said, I think it's
way more efficient and effectivegets the right to the root. And
I think that's from myperspective, the difference
between what you're doing withbreathwork and his retreats and
and these different sort ofexperiences we're creating, and
the modern day medical systemwhere they treat the symptom
without getting to the rootcause. Yeah, I can do breath
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work, because, because I wouldlike to say, I mean, my
experience with breathwork. I'mfairly new to it been about a
year, probably about a year now,I guess. But it has been the
most, like if there was onething that I could choose beyond
meditation, exercise, like allthe things that I've done for my
own health and well being andwhat I encourage others to do,
like breathwork is it's got tobe the top of the list. Top
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three for sure. Can you speakthough into the and how it works
and how it helps to heal themind and body?
Yeah, you know, and they haven'tdone the research yet. Like
they've done so much research onmeditation on what's happening
in the body and in the brain.
When we meditate breathworkisn't there yet. For me, I mean,
I can I can speak about it fromcan more like a psycho spiritual
perspective. What happened whenwe breathe in this particular,
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when you breathe intensely forabout an hour, an hour and a
half in a circular connectedway. And just amazing, amazing,
amazing things happen. Not onlydoes all the healing that that
happened, but we you can accesssome profound, unitary states,
like I often have people tellingme because I know you do this
kind of work, you facilitatethis kind of work. I often have
people tell me, I got to thesame place that I did in a
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sacred medicine journey. And,and so that I mean, you can have
those, those incredible likeexperiences that there are no
words to describe, of oneness ofinterconnective massive, and
it's healing with permanenteffect. And part of the part of
the way it works is like wewouldn't we, let's say a little
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bit about the emotions, whatused to be spiritual teaching
that everything is energy. Nowwe know from quantum physics,
that it's true everything isenergy. That means that the body
even though it feels solid isenergy, it's vibration, that
means the emotions are alsoenergy. So we know from physics
too that energy cannot bedestroyed. So, as a, as a
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species, and particularly asmen, we have been conditioned to
not feel with the conditionsthat the emotions are weakness,
since we were kids, little boysdon't cry, and man up and all
these expressions that that arethat that condition us to. And
there's such a price to pay forthat, right, because the
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emotions are not weak, they'renot strike, they're not good.
They're not bad. They're justenergies. We get into trouble
with the emotions because wesuppress them, and we don't
allow them to flow through us.
So they get stuck. Whenever weswallow our energy, our
emotions, whenever we say yes,when inside we feel no. And so
we override our authentic powerand stuff, all those energies
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don't just go away. You know, nomatter how hard we try to sweep
them under the rug, they don'tdo they get stuck in the tissues
of the body. And after alifetime of suppressing our
emotions, we walk around withlayers upon layers upon layers
of repressed emotional crap. Andhere we are in the present
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moment trying to have arelationship with each other and
all of it is getting filtered.
Through that lifetime ofunhealed past trauma, and
repressed emotions. It's likehow any relationships can work
just boggles my mind, because wehaven't been taught how to
approach them how to hold them.
And we certainly haven't beentaught how to clear ourselves of
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all these repressed emotions.
And that's where the breathworkcomes in. It's like, like, I
call it spiritual drainer, whichis like gets rid of all that
crap, and it gets rid of itquickly. So the relationships
can actually have a chance. Andthe thing about those emotional
energies, they have to come outone way or the other. So either
what happens is we suppress,suppress, suppress. The next
unfortunate one comes and sayssomething to is the wrong way,
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I'm boom volcanic eruption, allthose years or months of
suppressing emotions, like landon that poor, unfortunate soul.
And then we got to, either, youknow, we got to clean up a mess,
or sometimes the damage to ourrelationships is irreparable.
Or, surprise, surprise,surprise, that energy has to
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come up one way or anotherstarts seeping up and seeping
out in in physical symptoms,cancer, heart attacks, stomach
ulcers, so we've got to getthose we've got to for our own
peace of mind and health andlongevity, we've got to get this
this right that emotions, likelearn how to how to master our
emotions, rather than be had bythem. Because the way that we're
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talking about them now is like,we're running the show like we
suppress them we are present wethink we're controlling them but
we're not, there's a price to bepaid for that. They're actually
running us from the subconsciousand and sabotaging our lives and
our relationships, as opposed tolearning how to feel, which for
many of us, it's a challenge for30 years ago, I couldn't tell
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you what I was feeling because Ihad no idea what I was feeling.
And so learning how to feel andhow to communicate those
feelings responsibly, likeowning their my emotions, and
that there's nothing you can doto make me feel anything. Right.
They're my emotions. And itdoesn't excuse or exonerate
anything you may or not, do ornot do, but it's my emotions.
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And so, and, and to learn how tocommunicate them in a way that
they can be heard, like,compassionately, gracefully. And
courageously, like, to me,that's nothing short of mastery.
So it's the opposite ofweakness.
Absolutely, and I think onething that comes up for me
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whenever I think about this issomeone said it to me when I was
doing this, but it was like, Youcan't rationalize your pain
away. You know, as men, we're,we're told, like you said, you
know, to suck it up and big boysdon't cry, and like whatever we
need to do to, to not feel. Butin order to be an authentic,
complete human being, we have toaccept that we have a right
brain and left brain one forrational thinking and one's for
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emotions and understanding theconnection to everything else.
And I think my experiences withbreathwork and the release, like
the energy release, you can feelthat energy as if it's like,
it's, I mean, it's coming out ofyou. When you really get into
those longer breathwork sessionsand those guided processes where
you're really setting theintention to release and it
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does happen at some time. Imean, my eyes have been shaking
my whole body's vibrating. It'slike I'm alive. That's like
something that waking up insideof me. And it's incredibly
powerful. We you talk in thebook about this idea of soulful,
soulful power. Can you speakinto what that looks like?
Yeah. So like we're starting totalk about there's most of us
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have an ambivalent kind ofconflicted relationship to power
we were part of at once a partof it is afraid of it. And I
think what we fear is that if wereally stepped into our power,
that other people couldn'thandle it, and that we might end
up alone. And so we stuffedourselves, maybe we put
ourselves in smaller packages.
And this is all in our minds.
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And or, you know, we're afraidthat we might abuse it. And no
wonder because all you got to dois turn on the news, any given
day and witness at least oneabuse of power. And so why good
hearted person wants to be thatway we don't add to the to that
we have been conditioned tobelieve that power is a bad
thing. Like how many times havewe heard power corrupts?
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absolute power corruptsabsolutely. What they forgot to
tell us is that Lord actons,quote, he was talking
specifically about politicalpower, not personal power. And
so add to the mix, what we weretalking about the emotions about
how we will hate confrontation,we run away from conflict. And
so what happens is, we end upgiving our power away our innate
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power that nobody can give to usand nobody can take away We are
the only ones who can give itaway. And the satisfied to me is
that we give it away for, forlame reasons for like we give it
we give our power away for anillusion of security, for a
false sense of security, and forcrumbs for morsels of pseudo
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love. And so what the what thetheme of this book is what the
message of this book is thatthere is a way that we can step
into power in a way that iscongruent with who we are, that
is a match for who we are, thatdoesn't require that we push
anybody down or step on them inorder for us to feel powerful.
So how do we do that? That'swhat the book gets into.
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Absolutely, you talk one of thethings you talked about with
with power. And I want to getinto masculinity here as well,
because you really just, it wasso perfectly laid out how you
just you integrated this idea ofthe New World, and the idea of
the New Age new version ofmasculinity and how we can bring
it down to being more whole andcomplete soul filled men. But
(22:33):
before we do that, you talkedabout the power to respond in
the book. Can you speak intothat, that distance, that space?
And how we start to recognizethat you're in control for life,
and then how we respond where,you know, we're not defined what
we what happens to us, we'redefined by how we respond what
we do moving forward.
Yeah, I love the I love thatquestion, Jesse. Well, you know,
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because a lot of us getoverwhelmed. When we hear the
word responsibility. It's like,Oh, my God, that we just just
weigh weighs, weighs us down,and then we end up running away
from it. But here's a simple wayto think about responsibility,
response, ability, ability torespond. So that's all we got to
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do, right? We saw so many of uscame in with great gifts with a
sense of mission with a sense ofpurpose. If we don't give
expression to that sense ofmission to that sense of
purpose, nobody else is gonna doit for us, nobody else has the
same genetics, the same set ofexperiences that make us unique,
if we don't give expression tothat fully. Aint, no one else is
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gonna do it. And that applies toour power too. Like nobody can
express our power for us. Nobodyexpress our purpose for us. And
so it's it there's, there's aconnection to between power, and
this ability to respond in theromance languages, like baudette
in Spanish, or pouvoir inFrench, means that those words
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mean both power and to be ableto. So so it's kind of like a,
an implicit, an action, a powerthat's implicit in each one of
us, which, which has to do withour will, with our ability to
respond in the world. And totake it once one other step
further. You know, what, onething that we can count on is
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that life is going to continuethrowing curveballs our way,
like that we know. And there'snothing that we can do about
that. And some of it is going tobe difficult and some of it is
going to suck and some of it isgoing to be great. So many of us
have this kind of disempoweredrelationship to life because we
feel like we're we're thrownhere and there by by, by life's
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curveballs. But here's a way toreframe that that automatically
pops us out of this victimrelationship to life and pops us
into our power. It's like nomatter What happened in our
past? And it's not aboutrationalizing, it is not about
sweeping it away ignoring it.
No, of course not. We've allbeen through difficult stuff in
our lives. So but no matter whathappened, no matter what happens
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going forward, we always,always, always get to choose how
we show up in response to that.
And at that, just with thatsimple shift in how we think
about it, we are reclaiming ourpower in relationship to life
and it stops being thoseadversarial woe is me, you know,
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if only if only this hadhappened, or that hadn't
happened, then I would be okay.
With if I hadn't, if it hadn'tbeen for mom or for daddy doing
that, or mom not doing this, orthe teacher, the Minister,
society, sexism, racism,homophobia, but only wasn't for
that, and not to deny any ofthat, like that stuff exists.
And, and it does have an effecton on lives. But if as long as
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we're giving our power away, orholding somebody responsible for
our state of being somebody orsomething outside of us
responsible for our state ofbeing, or happiness, or inner
peace or sense of fulfillment,we just gave our power away, and
often to a perpetrator. So this,the simple reframing of that,
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all right, that happened, and itsucked, and I wish it hadn't
happened. And I'm so sorry thatit happened. And, what are you
going to do about it? How areyou going to show up in response
to that?
With the power back, I love thisidea of moving from, from victim
to the one actually creatingyour life, no matter what's
happened, or where you've been?
Or what's going on in your liferight now. It's like, as simple
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as you put it, it's like adecision, I'm gonna decide to
respond differently show updifferently. And that's just how
we take our power back. Can youtalk into the idea of the the
new version of masculinity andspeak about what healthy
masculine power looks like?
Yeah.
(27:00):
And let me say, first, that the,the book is, is for everybody,
but it has a particular messagefor women, like stemming from my
belief that when I think aboutit, strategically, what's going
on in our world and otherproblems that we're facing, when
I think about what is one thingthat if we could change, that,
it would impact everything else,that's what I land on the
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empowerment of women. Becausewhen women are in 50% of power,
we're gonna have a verydifferent relationship to war
and poverty and hunger and, andwealth distribution and social
justice and how we treat theenvironment, all of it. And it's
not to put women up on apedestal. It's not to idealize
women, women are also capable ofabusing power. It's because as a
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world as a species, we've beenrunning so off balance, so off
kilter, for the last, you know,several 1000 years. So So it's
about reclaiming finery,refining that balance between
the masculine and the feminineenergies in, in the world, which
run through all of us, becausethat's runs through the whole
universe. And much of thissurprises, some humans, we are
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part of the universe. So we'regoing to be impacted and ruled
by the same principles thatgovern the cosmos, and the
stars. And so that, and then,but then, then I then I added a
particular chapter just for men,because this kind of call it
toxic masculinity. And I knowthat's a word that gets around a
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little bit. And you're getting alittle bit too much these days.
But this unhealthy way ofexpressing the masculine there's
a price to pay that even menare, are paying a price for.
Let's look at a couple ofnumbers. longevity in the US
women outlive men by five years,globally, by seven years.
(28:50):
suicide rates, in the US wouldmen commit suicide four times as
frequently. 70% of the suicidesin this country are committed by
middle aged white men, who youcould say it's really
interesting, because you couldsay that's, that's still the
majority of the power in theworld is still held by by men
and white men for the most part.
So what's up with that? Why,why, what why doesn't,why
(29:14):
doesn't that work even for men?
And I think part of it isbecause we've got we've got into
this twisted definition of whatit means to be a man and then
going back to the emotionsagain, you know, we walk around
like, like robots, likeunfeeling robots. And and like
(29:35):
we were talking about beforethere's that energy has to come
out, there's gonna be a price topay for repressing those, those
emotional energies. And so, andI mean, it's a big conversation
to have, it's like, I know, thatmany men are struggling with,
you know, figuring out who theyare and what role they play in
this new world, as women arebecoming more empowered to shift
(29:59):
things are changing, and men aregoing to have to change to. And
to because a lot and what'shappening is that a lot of a lot
of people and I would say a lotof men are like going, Oh no,
no, let's go back the way it wasin the 50s, or the 60s. And
there's no way to do that. It'slike the cats out of the bag.
But what we can do is redefinethese roles, these traditional
(30:23):
male roles, like, like, part ofthe reason so many men are
struggling is because we, ouridentity, was connected to being
a provider. Right? We like we wewere the ones that brought the
brought the, you know, broughtthe bread and paid the bills and
supported the family. I thinkthe numbers are now I can't
remember from but it's in thebook, but I think it's either
30% or maybe approaching 40% ofhouseholds of heterosexual
(30:48):
households in the US, the womenare starting to make more. So
the women are catching up. Andmore than 50% of college
graduates now are women. Sothings are changing. And so, so
you know, but the but the thing,so do what I did in that chapter
is I kind of redefined what someof these roles are like, like
(31:08):
bringing them bringing apaycheck to your house, like
that's one way to provide it'skind of a simplistic way, where
there are so many others muchmore profound. And and I think
important ways of providing thatwe can do as a man is like, it
doesn't matter. It's not abouthow much money you make. It's
like if I hope that anybodylistening to this is not
limiting their definition of whothey are and what it means to be
(31:30):
a man or what it means to be ahuman by how much money they
make. That's pretty sad, ifthat's what they're using as a
measuring stick. But what aboutyou know, what, what about
providing a safe psychological,and emotional space in which
your family can thrive, in whichthey can discover who they are
in which they can live to theirfullest potential? Talk about
(31:52):
providing them that is way moreimportant than than paying the
bills? What about providingstability becoming a rock, in
your family structure? Whatabout sharing the wisdom, the
strength that comes from, fromself knowledge from from being
the Explorer or being beingwilling to go inside another
typical male role? Be willingto, to explore the inner world
(32:16):
and figure out why we do thethings we do and why do we get
stuck in these patterns orbehaviors that get us into
trouble and sometimes are selfsabotaging. And so that's what I
mean that this work is is heroicbecause it takes work and it
takes sometimes you got to facedown some some of our inner
demons. But it is so worthwhilebecause what becomes possible is
(32:40):
freedom. And a real sense ofempowerment and a real life, of
meaning of filled with purpose.
That's really worthwhile work.
100% I love this idea ofexploring, protecting all the
different roles that traditionalmen do masculinity does. But
(33:01):
it's all turned back, like amirrors in front of us now
looking back at ourselves,exploring our own depths, and
figuring out how to integratethese different parts of
ourselves that we've abandoned,and learning how to forgive
ourselves and forgive those whowronged us we can move on from a
life you know, psychologicallycomplete, whole, soul filled
human beings, men, because Iagree with you. I mean, I think
(33:21):
there's a huge I see us, youknow, we have to pass for the
world moving forward, we keepdoing the same thing we've
always done. And I don't thinkthis world's gonna be you know,
we're gonna be able to make ithere. There has to be a shift
where men start owning theseparts of themselves and stop
projecting on other people. Andalso women are continuing to be
(33:41):
more and more empowered, so theycan really complete the whole
that is needed to ensure that wecan continue moving on and enjoy
this this gift we have calledplanet Earth.
Yes, yes. And it's all hands ondeck, like anyone who has had
the slightest suspicion thatthey have work to do as teachers
(34:03):
as healers as as activists forchanges like this is it this is
this is a time that we've beenwaiting for in. Another one, you
know, another other great,traditional male roles is the
Conqueror, the Conqueror, andhope. I mean, they're like, like
to really identify, do we reallythink that what makes us the man
is like how many women we haveconquered? Meaning seduced or
(34:24):
it's like, come on, like,anybody can do that. It's not.
That's not what makes us a man.
That's such a limitedperspective of what about
conquering yourself, conqueringyour insecurities, your inner
demons, your self doubt,overcoming your fear, overcoming
your own obstacles to lovetranscending whatever trauma you
had, you had to overcome fromchildhood. Now we're talking now
(34:46):
we're talking heroism. Now we'retalking like, like real men.
Absolutely. Now we think when wethink about this, there's got it
there's so much culturalconditioning and pop culture
being blasted in our face on howwe should or shouldn't be. But
when you get down to it, I mean,we're thinking about the ego
that's keeping us from, frommoving forward, when it's once
(35:08):
we do take responsibility, likewhat are the things that are
keeping men and women fromstepping into this power? And
how can they start to get onthis path to heal their ego, or
whatever else it is, and reallyown this?
Yeah, and that's a hugeconversation too. Because
there's such, so much confusionabout what the ego is. And
(35:28):
that's why I spent the firstprobably quarter of the book,
like getting into that. So buthere's here's a great metaphor,
we put a baseball in the centerof a stadium, that's what the
ego is, who we are is actuallythe stadium. And we've allowed
this tiny, tiny, tiny part ofwho we are, to think that it is
all who we are. And to makereally important, consequential
(35:52):
choices from it's always smalland limited and fear based
perspective. And, like, if wewant to have a relationships to
have an actual chance, if wewant to have a sense of personal
empowerment, and again, a lifeof meaning and purpose, we've
got to understand what the egois, and how it keeps us in this
(36:15):
self made prison of lack andfear and limitation and
defensiveness, and takingeverything personally and
victimization, and projecting.
So there's so much to say aboutthat. And it is such worthwhile
work to do that. Because that'sthe key to freedom, like there
are two constants in everyretreat that I do, no matter
(36:36):
what the theme of it is. One isbreathwork, because as we were
talking about before, then Ihave yet to come across anything
that heals as quickly. And asprofoundly. The other thing that
I include in every singleretreat is teach about the ego,
because it is what keeps us inprison. And so by understanding
how it works, we can we can letourselves out, because nobody
(36:58):
else can do it for us. No oneelse can do that work for us.
Absolutely.
So what's the process then forcontrolling and healing the ego
so we can have a healthyrelationship with it.
I mean, it's a it's acombination of a understanding
what it is and how it works. Sosome of it is going to be like
(37:20):
for first of all, understandingit. So seeing, seeing how it
works, then applying it toourselves. But so so and that
takes work. And that's why I saythat it's alright work because
we that's how we figure out whywe do the things we do. Like why
does, why do we? Why does youknow like, say you and I have a
regular lunch with Joe, andJoe's always showing up 20
(37:44):
minutes late and here I am islike I knew it. He is so
disrespectful. He's so selfish,he's only worried about his
schedule doesn't care aboutmine. And and you know, going
through that whole story,whereas you have lunch with Joe
on a separate day of the week,and it's like, great, he's late.
I knew it. I have 20 minutes,let me return that phone call.
Let me go online and check mysocial media, whatever, there's
(38:07):
so many possible responses otherthan getting pissed off. So not
to excuse Joe's lateness is notabout that at all. It's about
why does it bug me? Right? Whatdid why does it get into my
skin? And when we're when we'rewilling to do that, because it
all comes from ego that allthat's all part of the realm of
the ego. So by willing by webeing willing to understand how
(38:30):
it works, and what are thetriggers, and what kind of what
kind of situations for exampleto do, we tend to give our power
away, do we tend to give poweraway in romantic, intimate,
sexual relationships? Do we tendto give our power away with
authority figures, parents,bosses, teachers, coaches, you
(38:51):
know, spiritual leaders. Sothat's the next step is like
self awareness, self observationso that we understand when and
why we do the things we do sothat we can then heal it and
clear it and cut that stuff out.
Choose a different way of being.
So a lot of it is selfawareness, becoming aware that
of stuff that we're doing now,but we just don't do it with
(39:12):
awareness, we just do itreactively and driven by all the
stuff that's driving us from thesubconscious. Carl Jung said
that the process ofenlightenment is making the
subconscious conscious. Sothat's part of what this work
is. It's it's and it's work. I'mnot gonna lie to you about that
it takes work, but it is soworthwhile. And it is so
(39:34):
incredibly liberating andempowering. So then I would say
that would be another layer ofwork and then another layer of
doing this work is understandingthe difference between worldly
power and soulful power orspiritual power, which I get,
you know, that's probably therest of the book is about that.
And and knowing, you know, inwhich situations are we being
(39:59):
driven again to, to come fromthat from that place and we get
to choose. And so understandingthose differences are important.
And then I would say to wheneverif find a way that you can do
some breathwork because that'swhat's gonna heal a lot of the
subconscious stuff that's, youknow, that's driving us. And,
(40:22):
and it is, with all due respectto psychotherapy, I got, like I
said, I come out of thattradition. But the reason I
jumped tracks and didn't go forthe PhD, is because, sometimes
understanding I say, not morethan sometimes a lot of the
times, maybe even most of thetime, understanding what
(40:44):
happened to us when we're fiveor seven or 15, or whatever,
it's helpful. But it's notenough. Because that trauma no
longer lives in the psyche, inthe mind, now it lives in the
body has been somatize and so noamount of talking about it is
going to get to it. And that'swhy, you know, I get people that
have been going to therapy forlike 20-30 years, and they know
(41:07):
their story and their traumasinside out. But they're still
stuck in self sabotagingbehaviors and they're not happy.
And they're still stuck in thesame patterns of relationships
that don't work. And so they'llcome and do a weekend with me
and poof, you know, it's like,it's because the trauma gets
cleared, but by the breathworkand, and that's why I work with
(41:30):
a lot of therapists, when when alot of their clients are
plateaued, they'll send peopleto me for a couple of sessions
for a weekend I'm boom, like,everything gets activated, and
they make huge, huge lifechanging progress quickly.
I recently have had two reallypowerful breathwork sessions
where I feel like I mean,there's more to it than just
(41:53):
these things, but these werelike feel like a result but I
healed the relation with myfather, me and my mother in two
separate breathwork sessions. SoI can just I'm just echoing back
you know, this the power of thisand how effective it is. You
know, and it's so interestingthat I love that your your
people are therapists referringpeople to you it's like we need
(42:13):
to come together and hit bothsides of this instead of just
talking about things over andover again, I don't know if you
know this but I work with a lotof people that are traumatized
use picking up veterans firstresponders specifically, but I
specifically PTSD and we have aprocess of just neurologically
disconnects emotions, traumaticemotions from traumatic
memories, and just said a singlesession I can do what just like
(42:36):
you said here, like in twosessions I can do with 30 years
of therapy can do because we'regetting to the root cause and I
think that speaks into our ofgetting into the subconscious,
getting into the body, andreleasing, releasing these
things once and for all. And Ithink as we go through this,
like there's a there's a feelingof lightness, it's a subtle
shift in our in our body, butwe're carrying around these
(42:57):
these emotions, these negativeexperiences from our past, and
we're just storing them down andthen trying to think about it,
but it's not ever releasing it.
So I just love the emphasis onbreathwork. And I'm just
speaking into my personalexperience with it is profound.
And it's amazing.
Yeah, yeah, I love that just andI love like, like you say on
your website, life is too shortto play small, and and I love
(43:21):
your your three C's the courageto face the fears that keep us
stuck. And in victim mode, theclarity to know who we are, and
what we want and what we're herefor. And the confidence to find
your path and your purpose. Yourplace. It's like yeah, sure
that's, that's that's what Iwhen I saw that is like I knew
where you and I would would besimpatico and have a great
(43:43):
conversation.
Yeah, absolutely. I feel likethat's, that's the key to
awakening. The soul of power youknow, is like tuning into all
those things that we're here init, like you put in the book so
well is turning it all back onyourself. And going inside of
yourself and willing to acceptthese you talked about Carl Jung
we are integrating our shadow,releasing what doesn't serve us
(44:05):
moving on from our past into aclear vision that we have for
the world that can be completelydifferent from that if we're
willing to do the work, faceourselves, face our past
mistakes and learn to let go ofthose things. So we can be free.
Exactly. You talk toward the endof the book about this sort of
(44:25):
metamorphosis that's happeningat a global scale. Christian I
like to know what this visionyou have for the world after the
sort of awakening andtransformation that's happening.
Like what does this look likehow do we know.
You know i don't i i'm not surewhat it's gonna look like but
but it can't look the way thatit does you know with with this
(44:48):
relationship that we have, youknow, this kind of specially as
man you know what yourrelationship to life is, fuck it
or kill it. And so much of ourrelationship to nature is about,
and to the body's aboutsubjugation and control and
conquering that, that thatexplains why we treat the planet
the way that we do. So I knowthat at least, there's going to
(45:11):
have to be a shift in how wethink about ourselves, how we
think about each other, and howwe think about our relationship
to the planet. And because partof the go going back to the ego
teachings, you know, Ken Wilberwrites that we haven't always
had an ego, we haven't alwayshad a sense of self, like a
sense of individual identity. Asfar as we know, we're the only
(45:31):
species that has that sense ofself, that sense of individual
personality, Homo sapiens,Sapiens or Latin name, it means
it can be translated as humanswho know that we know. So it's
that self, the ego is that selfreflexive consciousness that
allows us to think back up onourselves. And he talks about
how when the ego develop thatsense of individual personality
(45:54):
developed and as it was both aleap in consciousness, a huge
leap in consciousness, but it'salso the, the, the source of all
our suffering, because now wecan have with an individual
identity now we can have, we canfeel lonely, we can feel we can
have abandonment issues, we canfeel separate and alone, we can
have a sense of our ownmortality. So those are the
(46:17):
surprise we pay for having anindividual identity which he
says by the way, that that wasthen mythologized when the when
the ego developed in us, it wasmythologized all over the
planet, because that story isseen in religions all over the
world, of the expulsion from thegarden, because that's when we
lost our connection to somethinggreater than ourselves. And so I
(46:40):
think that going forward, thatthat is one shift, that would
impact everything else, if wereclaim our sense of
connectedness, not only toourselves starting there, but to
each other. And, you know, whenwe think about the things that
we allow to keep us separate isridiculous, like we are in our
(47:00):
DNA is this identical, like99.9999%, we talk about
different races, like there'snot enough difference in terms
of DNA to be considered adifferent race, we share 98.4 of
our DNA is identical to chimps,50% of our DNA is identical to
bananas. So so we that's to melike that is one thing that has
(47:25):
to shift is that so that wereclaim our sense of
interconnectedness, and that westart thinking about this tiny,
tiny pebble hurtling throughspace and 1000s of miles per
hour, while revolving uponitself on somehow we don't fly
off of it. But if we don't, ifwe just like we're devouring are
(47:48):
in consuming our naturalresources, without even
considering the impact on ourown survival as a species, the
planet will be fine, you know,might take a few million years,
but life will continue in someform. I would even venture a
coat consciousness will continuein some form, maybe, maybe at
the end, it's an intelligent,enlightened cockroach planet,
(48:09):
who knows whether we make it?
Hmm. Right. We're just nowbeginning to witness and I hate
to say is just beginning towitness what we have unleashed
on the environment. And sothat's why I say that it's all
hands on deck, and that anybodywho has the slightest suspicion
to do that we have work to do.
(48:32):
It's like we don't have it, wedon't have the time to wait
another five years for anothercertification, another course,
do the certification if youwant, but don't use that as an
excuse to not step into yourrole that you have come here to
play.
Smoothly, they say that we'reentering the sixth mass
extinction, you know, we'reliterally not going to be alive
(48:52):
for that much longer if we keepdoing the same thing we've
always done. And I love how thisjust integrates so well, with
the idea of healing the ego,it's like, once we realize it's
all about us, you know, and whatI can get for me, me, me, and we
realize that there's somethingbigger happening here, and we're
connecting to something largerthan ourselves. And we get
really reconnected to nature andwhat's gifted here for us on
(49:12):
this planet, then we can reallystart to step back off of the
destruction and, and work toimprove the world around us and
ourselves and empower the peoplearound us and in doing that we
empower ourselves.
Yeah. And I love that, that thework that you do with action
adventures that you are givingpeople a taste of that of that
(49:34):
interconnection to nature and toeverything else. Absolutely.
I mean, those experiences aretransformational. I feel so
grateful to be on that path. Imean, I what's what I would call
Infinite Intelligence andconnectedness to all things are
feeling their words when youdon't when you've never
experienced that, but it's awhole nother level when you
really tap into those deeperrealms of possibility about
(49:57):
what's going on here. And it'ssuch a it's such an interesting
thing. How shifts your life inincredibly powerful direction.
It's it's a game changer it'sit's shifting away from the from
the reality of the baseball andstepping into the reality of the
stadium like oh my god likedifferent rules different
physics almost.
(50:17):
Absolutely. Alright ChristianWell, thanks so much for all
this amazing these insights,these ideas, inspiration you're
providing us here can you speakinto where people can learn more
about you get connected with youon social media, get the book
and all this good stuff? Yeah,yeah. And first of all, thank
you Jesse for for having me onthe show. Thanks for having the
show. I know that it reaches alot of people, it makes a
(50:37):
difference. And thank you forall the work that you do.
Helping people get free and getreconnected in terms of reaching
me the books available on Amazonat your local bookstore,
wherever books are sold, andprobably the best way to reach
me as my websitesoulfulpower.com from there,
they can access my differentsocial media and for your
listeners, if they sign up to beon my email list, they'll get a
(51:02):
sample a sample chapter of thebook, they'll get some of these
power practices which which aredesigned to integrate the
teachings to our lives, justlike we don't need more
information, we've gotinformation overload, what we
need is transformation. Sothat's what the teaching the
practices are designed to dothat to apply them to our life
so that our lives transformwhich is what we want and to
(51:24):
transform into our power andinto into relationships that can
actually work. And then we'llget a guided meditation and a
little bit of a teaching ontrust like stepping into trust
in these times of chaos andAbsolutely all we got that in
the show notes below butuncertainty.
(51:46):
awakening the soul of power issuch a great book. Check it, out
get it Amazon get the get thatone chapter if you want, get the
free meditation but dive intothis book. It's it's really,
really good. I'll link all yourwebsite information in the show
notes Christian, thanks so much.
Just one last thing, what's theadvice that you would give to,
to people that are consideringtaking this journey of
(52:08):
empowerment?
Just do it. Just do it. Trust,you know, the image, the image
that comes to me is from IndianaJones. You know, I think it's
the I always forget that themovie. It's the wall, he's
standing at the cliff side andthen on the other side of the
cliff or other differentchalices. So it might be the
(52:28):
holy grail one. And it's notuntil he figures out that he has
to step into the void, that thestone of the bridge shows up to
meet his foot. And and sobecause of the critical nature
of the times, I know that whenone of us makes makes that
(52:49):
choice that's going to furthernot only our own process of
healing, and evolution, butconsequently, all the other
people that are going to betouched through us is that the
universe will support us as ithas no choice. The universe has
a vested interest in each one ofus stepping into our power and
you're fulfilling our potential.
(53:09):
Take one step the next stepappears amazing. Exactly. Thank
you so much. Thank you so muchfor coming on to the action
hour. Ladies and gentlemen,thanks so much for tuning in.
Dive into Christian's world.
I'll link everything in the shownotes, and we'll catch you on
the next episode.
Welcome to the action hour. My name is Jesse Simpson
and I believe there's never beena better time in the history of
the world to be alive. I'm on amission to bring you the
insights, ideas and inspirationyou need to uncover your
greatness and take action onyour dreams. If you want to
start a business, write a book,take a big trip, or level up to
(00:24):
a higher state of living in theworld. mentally, physically,
spiritually, or financially. Thestories found in the show will
provide the action steps andenergy you need to succeed. No
matter what you are goingthrough or where you've been,
you can at any time, break thatcycle and transform your life.
This show is going to show youhow to do it. If you've got the
(00:47):
itch to act, now is the time.
Allow the inspiring storieswithin this show to serve as
your guide. This is the actionhour, buckle up
and enjoy the ride. Welcome backto the action hour Ladies and
gentlemen, I've got anincredible guest lined up for
you today. Christian de laHuerta is an award winning
author, and personaltransformation coach and TEDx
(01:08):
speaker. He's a retreatfacilitator, relationships
expert, spiritual coach andleadership consultants that has
dedicated his life tofacilitating profound personal
transformation. Christian, hislatest book, awakening, the soul
of power is a call for all of usto wake up to our full
potential. So we can create aworld beyond our wildest dreams.
And it is such an honor to haveyou on here, Christian, your
(01:29):
book is a work of art, I look upto you with all the stuff you're
doing at the retreats and allthe expertise you have in the
spiritual community. Thank youso much for coming on to the
action hour.
Thanks. Thank you, Jesse forhaving me on the show. I was
looking at some of some of thethings that you do retreats and
teach about, and there's a lotof overlap and what we do.
Absolutely, I'm super excited toget into this, I think it's
(01:50):
gonna, this is like more like alive podcast for me, because I'm
just excited to learn more aboutthe work you do and what got you
on it. Because I mean, after wego to retreats, with you doing
it for the last 30 years, Imean, I feel like everyone is
doing retreats these days but togo back that long, and be like
almost like, you know, you'releading the way for all of us to
(02:11):
paving the way for all of us tobe now facilitating these
retreats. I'm so excited to diveinto that, again, your book is
amazing. There's so muchpractical wisdom in there. And
just a call to action. I lovethe idea of power, the new way
of thinking about masculinity,and ego and all this sort of
stuff. Christian, thanks so muchfor, for doing what you do.
Thank you so much. And thank youso much for saying that. I
(02:32):
really appreciate it.
Absolutely. Well, I'd first liketo start off I think I picked up
in the book somewhere that youmaybe have eight brothers and
sisters. Is that right?
Yeah. I'm one of Nine. Eight ofus now, one of my brothers
drowned about 30 years ago. Butyeah, I'm the second oldest of
nine. Wow, what was it likegrowing up in that household?
(02:55):
Oh, my god, it was so much fun.
And we're so tight, we're allclose. And we're very self
sufficient. Right? We moved outwhen I was 10. We left I was
wanting Cuba live there for myfirst 10 years and we moved to
Spain. We moved toMilledgeville, Georgia for three
years and then eventually landedin Miami. And but because there
was so much moving, we gottight, and we were self
(03:19):
sufficient. And you know,there's something about large
families to like kind of becomemagnetic. So we're always
attracting, you know, friends,and there's so much fun and so
much creativity and so muchjoking around and just ribbing
each other and very, veryloving, very supportive.
(03:42):
There's one thing that I'verealized from spending my time
in Latin America and I have afriend that's you, you're at the
CO working space I work out ofthat is from India, it's sort of
same thing like the LatinAmerican and Eastern family,
like the culture is just sonatural that bringing everyone
together and everyone helps eachother and works together and all
these sort of things, you know,three generations sometimes or
more, live in the samehousehold. And I hear that being
(04:05):
reflected here. But it's like sofar away from the United States,
like everyone's in their box, noone knows their neighbors we all
kind of keep to ourselves andthen we'll sometimes have family
reunions, what's been yourexperience with like the
separate the different sort ofways of living in community.
You know, what's what what Ilove about our family too, is
(04:26):
that even the next generation somy my nieces and my nephews we
all hang out together, like,like, we all enjoy each other's
company. So it is very multigenerational. And I feel I feel
like it's a blessing. It's ablessing to have that. Like I
know. And of course we don't seeeye to eye on everything. It's
(04:47):
like no family does. But I knowthat wherever I am in the world,
if I need anything, I just callmy, anybody in my family and I
know that they're there. There'sit's to have that kind of
unquestioned support, it'sthere's a lot to be said for
that I feel very blessed.
Absolutely. That sounds reallybeautiful. I think we all need
(05:08):
someone to, we all need, wecan't do this alone, you know.
And as we step into learningmore about the book and and all
the things you are creating inthe world, it's so great to know
you have that support systembehind you. Now, you read it in
the book about being an unlikelyperson on this journey to write
about heroism, and awakening thesoul of power, you talk a lot
about heroism and, and all thesedifferent things that are coming
(05:30):
on. And I want to dive into thatnow we'd like to know a bit more
about your journey, what led youwriting the book and really
owning this, this power, youhave to create something so, so
wonderful. Yeah, thankyou so much. You know what
Jesse, I think, I think COVIDhas served us in some ways
without minimizing the tragicaspects of it. But one of the
ways in which has served us isthat we expand, have expanded
(05:54):
the definition of what it meansto live heroically like before
that we used to think they'resuperheroes or guys, like, you
know, former Marine vet orfirefighter of the year, you
know, somebody who has placedtheir lives at risk for the sake
of somebody else with the sakeof a cause. Now, because since
COVID, we've expanded that toinclude our doctors and nurses
(06:16):
and respiratory therapists, andeven know the delivery people
and the grocery store clerks,who made a lot of sacrifices in
their own personal lives andeven their own lives to keep the
rest of us going. And what thewhat the series of books is
about is like, what about therest of us? Like, what does it
mean to live heroically? When wedon't have the horse hitched
(06:38):
outside and the armors and thedemons to slay except the ones
in our own heads? And so thisfirst book is about how does how
does a hero and, and I look, andI use that term, generically,
because heroine kind of smacksof something else. So I use it
in a gender neutral way. So howdoes how does a hero step into
(07:03):
power in a way that's not abouthierarchy in a way that's not
about control, about fear, aboutforce about domination that
doesn't require that we pushanybody down, step on them,
squelching them in order for usto feel powerful, like how do we
do that in a different way? AndI don't know if I answered your
question. I think I might havegotten sidetracked.
(07:25):
No, well, you're, you'respeaking into what calls you to
this to this book. And I would100% agree with you the idea
that, like, we're all beingcalled to become the heroes in
our story, you know, and wewrite this, that step into this
new world. But I'd be curious,like, What led you on this path?
Who uncovered, uncovering thiswithin yourself and motivated
(07:46):
you to write the book?
Yeah, you know, it's like I likeI do feel like I'm an unlikely
person to be writing aboutpersonal empowerment and living
heroically, I can't tell you howshy it was as a teenager as I
was okay, one on one. But if youadded a third human I clammed
up. And it was so terrified thatI didn't do this intentionally.
(08:11):
But looking back on it, Isabotage my grade point average,
I had pretty much 4.0 except forone beat. And but that was
enough to knock me out of thevaledictorian robe. And I know I
did that subconsciously. Becausethere's just no way there is no
way on earth that I could havegotten up in front of a room of
(08:32):
filled auditorium filled withhundreds and hundreds of people.
And spoken there's just no way.
And what's interesting aboutthat, is that these days, I
speak all over the world, I'vespoken at dozens of university
campuses on the TEDx stage. Andso that's part of what I, the
reason I know that the teachingsthat I share about in this book
that they work, because theythey work for me, there's just
(08:54):
something hypothetical I, I readin another book, this is like,
actually lived this way. And itworks. And, and, you know, it's
interesting to the power thingand my own personal life,
because I lived in a communistcountry for the first 10 years
of my life. So veryhierarchical, you know, like, in
(09:14):
a communist country, you don'teven talk about personal power,
the state owns you, and decideseverything for you. It's not
like so many freedoms that wetake for granted here in the US
and other democratic countriesor pseudo democratic countries,
where you can choose what you'regoing to do with your life and
what you're going to study inthose countries. At least when I
was living there, I don't knowhow it is now, but you didn't
(09:38):
decide what to study like youwould if you were allowed to go
to college, you were told whatyou were going to study. And you
know, it's like they pretty muchowned you know, everything like
he owned was with stateproperty. And also, as you know,
the nine kids might have givenyou a clue about I was raised
really Catholic. And so anothervery hierarchical power
(10:03):
structure, where the powerdefinitely comes from above you
don't you don't decide it andyou're told what to believe
you're taught what's right.
What's wrong with all therespect to that religion, but
it's very patriarchal, verypower over instead of power
with, which is what this book isabout, like how do we step into
(10:25):
power in a different way?
That's, that's amazing. You comefrom such a, we've had such
contrast a duality of comingfrom a communist country for the
first 10 years of your life tonow moving to the church, and
now stepping in to own yourpower and, and show other people
how they can do the same. I'mcurious, that jumped out at me
about the idea of being raisingbeing raised in a Catholic
(10:46):
Church, can you splice out thedifference between spirituality
that you speak of in religionthat so regarding or the
religion we talk about, we thinkabout Catholicism or
Christianity. Yeah.
And I only say that I honor allspiritual paths. I also
challenged them, you know, to,to the, to a degree that a
(11:07):
particular religion or spiritualpath is, is helping us to become
more authentically who we are,who is helping us to have a
direct connection with thesacred, however you relate to
that. However, you think ofthat, to the degree that they're
making us better human beings,that they're fostering peace and
unity and understanding, thenthey're doing their job. And
(11:29):
sadly, a lot of them are not alot of them are are fostering
division, and hatred and what Icall the theological pissing
contest, my God is bigger thanyours. And so, so here's how I
think about it. Read the wordreligion comes from the Latin
legato, which means to rebind,presumably, to rebind, to the
(11:53):
sacred. But to me that feelsbinding, it feels restrictive.
The word spirituality, comesfrom the root spirare which from
that same root, we getrespiration, and inspiration.
And so there's this to me thatfeels much more life giving,
life flowing into the breaththere's so many examples and
(12:15):
holy texts about God breathinglife into us. That to me, that
feels I'm today I'm in thisspiritual, not religious
category. And you know, this,it's the breath spirit
connection is important for me,I've been practicing breathwork
(12:36):
and offering breathwork in myretreats for 30 years. And it's
just amazing how a simplebreathing practice can heal so
profoundly, and so quickly at somany levels, not only
emotionally and mentally, butspiritually and even physically.
And I know that sounds too goodto be true. You know, I come out
(12:56):
of the psychotherapy tradition,my dad was a psychiatrist, my
degrees in psychology, I was ona track to get a PhD in
psychology. And when Idiscovered breathwork, over 30
years ago, I jumped tracks,because it works so fast and
heal so profoundly, in so manyways. never went for the PhD.
(13:16):
Why you got to breathwork PhD,and like you said, I think it's
way more efficient and effectivegets the right to the root. And
I think that's from myperspective, the difference
between what you're doing withbreathwork and his retreats and
and these different sort ofexperiences we're creating, and
the modern day medical systemwhere they treat the symptom
without getting to the rootcause. Yeah, I can do breath
(13:37):
work, because, because I wouldlike to say, I mean, my
experience with breathwork. I'mfairly new to it been about a
year, probably about a year now,I guess. But it has been the
most, like if there was onething that I could choose beyond
meditation, exercise, like allthe things that I've done for my
own health and well being andwhat I encourage others to do,
like breathwork is it's got tobe the top of the list. Top
(13:58):
three for sure. Can you speakthough into the and how it works
and how it helps to heal themind and body?
Yeah, you know, and they haven'tdone the research yet. Like
they've done so much research onmeditation on what's happening
in the body and in the brain.
When we meditate breathworkisn't there yet. For me, I mean,
I can I can speak about it fromcan more like a psycho spiritual
perspective. What happened whenwe breathe in this particular,
(14:22):
when you breathe intensely forabout an hour, an hour and a
half in a circular connectedway. And just amazing, amazing,
amazing things happen. Not onlydoes all the healing that that
happened, but we you can accesssome profound, unitary states,
like I often have people tellingme because I know you do this
kind of work, you facilitatethis kind of work. I often have
people tell me, I got to thesame place that I did in a
(14:44):
sacred medicine journey. And,and so that I mean, you can have
those, those incredible likeexperiences that there are no
words to describe, of oneness ofinterconnective massive, and
it's healing with permanenteffect. And part of the part of
the way it works is like wewouldn't we, let's say a little
(15:08):
bit about the emotions, whatused to be spiritual teaching
that everything is energy. Nowwe know from quantum physics,
that it's true everything isenergy. That means that the body
even though it feels solid isenergy, it's vibration, that
means the emotions are alsoenergy. So we know from physics
too that energy cannot bedestroyed. So, as a, as a
(15:29):
species, and particularly asmen, we have been conditioned to
not feel with the conditionsthat the emotions are weakness,
since we were kids, little boysdon't cry, and man up and all
these expressions that that arethat that condition us to. And
there's such a price to pay forthat, right, because the
(15:51):
emotions are not weak, they'renot strike, they're not good.
They're not bad. They're justenergies. We get into trouble
with the emotions because wesuppress them, and we don't
allow them to flow through us.
So they get stuck. Whenever weswallow our energy, our
emotions, whenever we say yes,when inside we feel no. And so
we override our authentic powerand stuff, all those energies
(16:14):
don't just go away. You know, nomatter how hard we try to sweep
them under the rug, they don'tdo they get stuck in the tissues
of the body. And after alifetime of suppressing our
emotions, we walk around withlayers upon layers upon layers
of repressed emotional crap. Andhere we are in the present
(16:35):
moment trying to have arelationship with each other and
all of it is getting filtered.
Through that lifetime ofunhealed past trauma, and
repressed emotions. It's likehow any relationships can work
just boggles my mind, because wehaven't been taught how to
approach them how to hold them.
And we certainly haven't beentaught how to clear ourselves of
(16:55):
all these repressed emotions.
And that's where the breathworkcomes in. It's like, like, I
call it spiritual drainer, whichis like gets rid of all that
crap, and it gets rid of itquickly. So the relationships
can actually have a chance. Andthe thing about those emotional
energies, they have to come outone way or the other. So either
what happens is we suppress,suppress, suppress. The next
unfortunate one comes and sayssomething to is the wrong way,
(17:19):
I'm boom volcanic eruption, allthose years or months of
suppressing emotions, like landon that poor, unfortunate soul.
And then we got to, either, youknow, we got to clean up a mess,
or sometimes the damage to ourrelationships is irreparable.
Or, surprise, surprise,surprise, that energy has to
(17:40):
come up one way or anotherstarts seeping up and seeping
out in in physical symptoms,cancer, heart attacks, stomach
ulcers, so we've got to getthose we've got to for our own
peace of mind and health andlongevity, we've got to get this
this right that emotions, likelearn how to how to master our
emotions, rather than be had bythem. Because the way that we're
(18:04):
talking about them now is like,we're running the show like we
suppress them we are present wethink we're controlling them but
we're not, there's a price to bepaid for that. They're actually
running us from the subconsciousand and sabotaging our lives and
our relationships, as opposed tolearning how to feel, which for
many of us, it's a challenge for30 years ago, I couldn't tell
(18:25):
you what I was feeling because Ihad no idea what I was feeling.
And so learning how to feel andhow to communicate those
feelings responsibly, likeowning their my emotions, and
that there's nothing you can doto make me feel anything. Right.
They're my emotions. And itdoesn't excuse or exonerate
anything you may or not, do ornot do, but it's my emotions.
(18:50):
And so, and, and to learn how tocommunicate them in a way that
they can be heard, like,compassionately, gracefully. And
courageously, like, to me,that's nothing short of mastery.
So it's the opposite ofweakness.
Absolutely, and I think onething that comes up for me
(19:11):
whenever I think about this issomeone said it to me when I was
doing this, but it was like, Youcan't rationalize your pain
away. You know, as men, we're,we're told, like you said, you
know, to suck it up and big boysdon't cry, and like whatever we
need to do to, to not feel. Butin order to be an authentic,
complete human being, we have toaccept that we have a right
brain and left brain one forrational thinking and one's for
(19:33):
emotions and understanding theconnection to everything else.
And I think my experiences withbreathwork and the release, like
the energy release, you can feelthat energy as if it's like,
it's, I mean, it's coming out ofyou. When you really get into
those longer breathwork sessionsand those guided processes where
you're really setting theintention to release and it
(19:54):
does happen at some time. Imean, my eyes have been shaking
my whole body's vibrating. It'slike I'm alive. That's like
something that waking up insideof me. And it's incredibly
powerful. We you talk in thebook about this idea of soulful,
soulful power. Can you speakinto what that looks like?
Yeah. So like we're starting totalk about there's most of us
(20:17):
have an ambivalent kind ofconflicted relationship to power
we were part of at once a partof it is afraid of it. And I
think what we fear is that if wereally stepped into our power,
that other people couldn'thandle it, and that we might end
up alone. And so we stuffedourselves, maybe we put
ourselves in smaller packages.
And this is all in our minds.
(20:40):
And or, you know, we're afraidthat we might abuse it. And no
wonder because all you got to dois turn on the news, any given
day and witness at least oneabuse of power. And so why good
hearted person wants to be thatway we don't add to the to that
we have been conditioned tobelieve that power is a bad
thing. Like how many times havewe heard power corrupts?
(21:01):
absolute power corruptsabsolutely. What they forgot to
tell us is that Lord actons,quote, he was talking
specifically about politicalpower, not personal power. And
so add to the mix, what we weretalking about the emotions about
how we will hate confrontation,we run away from conflict. And
so what happens is, we end upgiving our power away our innate
(21:24):
power that nobody can give to usand nobody can take away We are
the only ones who can give itaway. And the satisfied to me is
that we give it away for, forlame reasons for like we give it
we give our power away for anillusion of security, for a
false sense of security, and forcrumbs for morsels of pseudo
(21:48):
love. And so what the what thetheme of this book is what the
message of this book is thatthere is a way that we can step
into power in a way that iscongruent with who we are, that
is a match for who we are, thatdoesn't require that we push
anybody down or step on them inorder for us to feel powerful.
So how do we do that? That'swhat the book gets into.
(22:10):
Absolutely, you talk one of thethings you talked about with
with power. And I want to getinto masculinity here as well,
because you really just, it wasso perfectly laid out how you
just you integrated this idea ofthe New World, and the idea of
the New Age new version ofmasculinity and how we can bring
it down to being more whole andcomplete soul filled men. But
(22:33):
before we do that, you talkedabout the power to respond in
the book. Can you speak intothat, that distance, that space?
And how we start to recognizethat you're in control for life,
and then how we respond where,you know, we're not defined what
we what happens to us, we'redefined by how we respond what
we do moving forward.
Yeah, I love the I love thatquestion, Jesse. Well, you know,
(22:57):
because a lot of us getoverwhelmed. When we hear the
word responsibility. It's like,Oh, my God, that we just just
weigh weighs, weighs us down,and then we end up running away
from it. But here's a simple wayto think about responsibility,
response, ability, ability torespond. So that's all we got to
(23:18):
do, right? We saw so many of uscame in with great gifts with a
sense of mission with a sense ofpurpose. If we don't give
expression to that sense ofmission to that sense of
purpose, nobody else is gonna doit for us, nobody else has the
same genetics, the same set ofexperiences that make us unique,
if we don't give expression tothat fully. Aint, no one else is
(23:39):
gonna do it. And that applies toour power too. Like nobody can
express our power for us. Nobodyexpress our purpose for us. And
so it's it there's, there's aconnection to between power, and
this ability to respond in theromance languages, like baudette
in Spanish, or pouvoir inFrench, means that those words
(24:02):
mean both power and to be ableto. So so it's kind of like a,
an implicit, an action, a powerthat's implicit in each one of
us, which, which has to do withour will, with our ability to
respond in the world. And totake it once one other step
further. You know, what, onething that we can count on is
(24:26):
that life is going to continuethrowing curveballs our way,
like that we know. And there'snothing that we can do about
that. And some of it is going tobe difficult and some of it is
going to suck and some of it isgoing to be great. So many of us
have this kind of disempoweredrelationship to life because we
feel like we're we're thrownhere and there by by, by life's
(24:49):
curveballs. But here's a way toreframe that that automatically
pops us out of this victimrelationship to life and pops us
into our power. It's like nomatter What happened in our
past? And it's not aboutrationalizing, it is not about
sweeping it away ignoring it.
No, of course not. We've allbeen through difficult stuff in
our lives. So but no matter whathappened, no matter what happens
(25:11):
going forward, we always,always, always get to choose how
we show up in response to that.
And at that, just with thatsimple shift in how we think
about it, we are reclaiming ourpower in relationship to life
and it stops being thoseadversarial woe is me, you know,
(25:35):
if only if only this hadhappened, or that hadn't
happened, then I would be okay.
With if I hadn't, if it hadn'tbeen for mom or for daddy doing
that, or mom not doing this, orthe teacher, the Minister,
society, sexism, racism,homophobia, but only wasn't for
that, and not to deny any ofthat, like that stuff exists.
And, and it does have an effecton on lives. But if as long as
(25:56):
we're giving our power away, orholding somebody responsible for
our state of being somebody orsomething outside of us
responsible for our state ofbeing, or happiness, or inner
peace or sense of fulfillment,we just gave our power away, and
often to a perpetrator. So this,the simple reframing of that,
(26:19):
all right, that happened, and itsucked, and I wish it hadn't
happened. And I'm so sorry thatit happened. And, what are you
going to do about it? How areyou going to show up in response
to that?
With the power back, I love thisidea of moving from, from victim
to the one actually creatingyour life, no matter what's
happened, or where you've been?
Or what's going on in your liferight now. It's like, as simple
(26:39):
as you put it, it's like adecision, I'm gonna decide to
respond differently show updifferently. And that's just how
we take our power back. Can youtalk into the idea of the the
new version of masculinity andspeak about what healthy
masculine power looks like?
Yeah.
(27:00):
And let me say, first, that the,the book is, is for everybody,
but it has a particular messagefor women, like stemming from my
belief that when I think aboutit, strategically, what's going
on in our world and otherproblems that we're facing, when
I think about what is one thingthat if we could change, that,
it would impact everything else,that's what I land on the
(27:23):
empowerment of women. Becausewhen women are in 50% of power,
we're gonna have a verydifferent relationship to war
and poverty and hunger and, andwealth distribution and social
justice and how we treat theenvironment, all of it. And it's
not to put women up on apedestal. It's not to idealize
women, women are also capable ofabusing power. It's because as a
(27:44):
world as a species, we've beenrunning so off balance, so off
kilter, for the last, you know,several 1000 years. So So it's
about reclaiming finery,refining that balance between
the masculine and the feminineenergies in, in the world, which
run through all of us, becausethat's runs through the whole
universe. And much of thissurprises, some humans, we are
(28:06):
part of the universe. So we'regoing to be impacted and ruled
by the same principles thatgovern the cosmos, and the
stars. And so that, and then,but then, then I then I added a
particular chapter just for men,because this kind of call it
toxic masculinity. And I knowthat's a word that gets around a
(28:27):
little bit. And you're getting alittle bit too much these days.
But this unhealthy way ofexpressing the masculine there's
a price to pay that even menare, are paying a price for.
Let's look at a couple ofnumbers. longevity in the US
women outlive men by five years,globally, by seven years.
(28:50):
suicide rates, in the US wouldmen commit suicide four times as
frequently. 70% of the suicidesin this country are committed by
middle aged white men, who youcould say it's really
interesting, because you couldsay that's, that's still the
majority of the power in theworld is still held by by men
and white men for the most part.
So what's up with that? Why,why, what why doesn't,why
(29:14):
doesn't that work even for men?
And I think part of it isbecause we've got we've got into
this twisted definition of whatit means to be a man and then
going back to the emotionsagain, you know, we walk around
like, like robots, likeunfeeling robots. And and like
(29:35):
we were talking about beforethere's that energy has to come
out, there's gonna be a price topay for repressing those, those
emotional energies. And so, andI mean, it's a big conversation
to have, it's like, I know, thatmany men are struggling with,
you know, figuring out who theyare and what role they play in
this new world, as women arebecoming more empowered to shift
(29:59):
things are changing, and men aregoing to have to change to. And
to because a lot and what'shappening is that a lot of a lot
of people and I would say a lotof men are like going, Oh no,
no, let's go back the way it wasin the 50s, or the 60s. And
there's no way to do that. It'slike the cats out of the bag.
But what we can do is redefinethese roles, these traditional
(30:23):
male roles, like, like, part ofthe reason so many men are
struggling is because we, ouridentity, was connected to being
a provider. Right? We like we wewere the ones that brought the
brought the, you know, broughtthe bread and paid the bills and
supported the family. I thinkthe numbers are now I can't
remember from but it's in thebook, but I think it's either
30% or maybe approaching 40% ofhouseholds of heterosexual
(30:48):
households in the US, the womenare starting to make more. So
the women are catching up. Andmore than 50% of college
graduates now are women. Sothings are changing. And so, so
you know, but the but the thing,so do what I did in that chapter
is I kind of redefined what someof these roles are like, like
(31:08):
bringing them bringing apaycheck to your house, like
that's one way to provide it'skind of a simplistic way, where
there are so many others muchmore profound. And and I think
important ways of providing thatwe can do as a man is like, it
doesn't matter. It's not abouthow much money you make. It's
like if I hope that anybodylistening to this is not
limiting their definition of whothey are and what it means to be
(31:30):
a man or what it means to be ahuman by how much money they
make. That's pretty sad, ifthat's what they're using as a
measuring stick. But what aboutyou know, what, what about
providing a safe psychological,and emotional space in which
your family can thrive, in whichthey can discover who they are
in which they can live to theirfullest potential? Talk about
(31:52):
providing them that is way moreimportant than than paying the
bills? What about providingstability becoming a rock, in
your family structure? Whatabout sharing the wisdom, the
strength that comes from, fromself knowledge from from being
the Explorer or being beingwilling to go inside another
typical male role? Be willingto, to explore the inner world
(32:16):
and figure out why we do thethings we do and why do we get
stuck in these patterns orbehaviors that get us into
trouble and sometimes are selfsabotaging. And so that's what I
mean that this work is is heroicbecause it takes work and it
takes sometimes you got to facedown some some of our inner
demons. But it is so worthwhilebecause what becomes possible is
(32:40):
freedom. And a real sense ofempowerment and a real life, of
meaning of filled with purpose.
That's really worthwhile work.
100% I love this idea ofexploring, protecting all the
different roles that traditionalmen do masculinity does. But
(33:01):
it's all turned back, like amirrors in front of us now
looking back at ourselves,exploring our own depths, and
figuring out how to integratethese different parts of
ourselves that we've abandoned,and learning how to forgive
ourselves and forgive those whowronged us we can move on from a
life you know, psychologicallycomplete, whole, soul filled
human beings, men, because Iagree with you. I mean, I think
(33:21):
there's a huge I see us, youknow, we have to pass for the
world moving forward, we keepdoing the same thing we've
always done. And I don't thinkthis world's gonna be you know,
we're gonna be able to make ithere. There has to be a shift
where men start owning theseparts of themselves and stop
projecting on other people. Andalso women are continuing to be
(33:41):
more and more empowered, so theycan really complete the whole
that is needed to ensure that wecan continue moving on and enjoy
this this gift we have calledplanet Earth.
Yes, yes. And it's all hands ondeck, like anyone who has had
the slightest suspicion thatthey have work to do as teachers
(34:03):
as healers as as activists forchanges like this is it this is
this is a time that we've beenwaiting for in. Another one, you
know, another other great,traditional male roles is the
Conqueror, the Conqueror, andhope. I mean, they're like, like
to really identify, do we reallythink that what makes us the man
is like how many women we haveconquered? Meaning seduced or
(34:24):
it's like, come on, like,anybody can do that. It's not.
That's not what makes us a man.
That's such a limitedperspective of what about
conquering yourself, conqueringyour insecurities, your inner
demons, your self doubt,overcoming your fear, overcoming
your own obstacles to lovetranscending whatever trauma you
had, you had to overcome fromchildhood. Now we're talking now
(34:46):
we're talking heroism. Now we'retalking like, like real men.
Absolutely. Now we think when wethink about this, there's got it
there's so much culturalconditioning and pop culture
being blasted in our face on howwe should or shouldn't be. But
when you get down to it, I mean,we're thinking about the ego
that's keeping us from, frommoving forward, when it's once
(35:08):
we do take responsibility, likewhat are the things that are
keeping men and women fromstepping into this power? And
how can they start to get onthis path to heal their ego, or
whatever else it is, and reallyown this?
Yeah, and that's a hugeconversation too. Because
there's such, so much confusionabout what the ego is. And
(35:28):
that's why I spent the firstprobably quarter of the book,
like getting into that. So buthere's here's a great metaphor,
we put a baseball in the centerof a stadium, that's what the
ego is, who we are is actuallythe stadium. And we've allowed
this tiny, tiny, tiny part ofwho we are, to think that it is
all who we are. And to makereally important, consequential
(35:52):
choices from it's always smalland limited and fear based
perspective. And, like, if wewant to have a relationships to
have an actual chance, if wewant to have a sense of personal
empowerment, and again, a lifeof meaning and purpose, we've
got to understand what the egois, and how it keeps us in this
(36:15):
self made prison of lack andfear and limitation and
defensiveness, and takingeverything personally and
victimization, and projecting.
So there's so much to say aboutthat. And it is such worthwhile
work to do that. Because that'sthe key to freedom, like there
are two constants in everyretreat that I do, no matter
(36:36):
what the theme of it is. One isbreathwork, because as we were
talking about before, then Ihave yet to come across anything
that heals as quickly. And asprofoundly. The other thing that
I include in every singleretreat is teach about the ego,
because it is what keeps us inprison. And so by understanding
how it works, we can we can letourselves out, because nobody
(36:58):
else can do it for us. No oneelse can do that work for us.
Absolutely.
So what's the process then forcontrolling and healing the ego
so we can have a healthyrelationship with it.
I mean, it's a it's acombination of a understanding
what it is and how it works. Sosome of it is going to be like
(37:20):
for first of all, understandingit. So seeing, seeing how it
works, then applying it toourselves. But so so and that
takes work. And that's why I saythat it's alright work because
we that's how we figure out whywe do the things we do. Like why
does, why do we? Why does youknow like, say you and I have a
regular lunch with Joe, andJoe's always showing up 20
(37:44):
minutes late and here I am islike I knew it. He is so
disrespectful. He's so selfish,he's only worried about his
schedule doesn't care aboutmine. And and you know, going
through that whole story,whereas you have lunch with Joe
on a separate day of the week,and it's like, great, he's late.
I knew it. I have 20 minutes,let me return that phone call.
Let me go online and check mysocial media, whatever, there's
(38:07):
so many possible responses otherthan getting pissed off. So not
to excuse Joe's lateness is notabout that at all. It's about
why does it bug me? Right? Whatdid why does it get into my
skin? And when we're when we'rewilling to do that, because it
all comes from ego that allthat's all part of the realm of
the ego. So by willing by webeing willing to understand how
(38:30):
it works, and what are thetriggers, and what kind of what
kind of situations for exampleto do, we tend to give our power
away, do we tend to give poweraway in romantic, intimate,
sexual relationships? Do we tendto give our power away with
authority figures, parents,bosses, teachers, coaches, you
(38:51):
know, spiritual leaders. Sothat's the next step is like
self awareness, self observationso that we understand when and
why we do the things we do sothat we can then heal it and
clear it and cut that stuff out.
Choose a different way of being.
So a lot of it is selfawareness, becoming aware that
of stuff that we're doing now,but we just don't do it with
(39:12):
awareness, we just do itreactively and driven by all the
stuff that's driving us from thesubconscious. Carl Jung said
that the process ofenlightenment is making the
subconscious conscious. Sothat's part of what this work
is. It's it's and it's work. I'mnot gonna lie to you about that
it takes work, but it is soworthwhile. And it is so
(39:34):
incredibly liberating andempowering. So then I would say
that would be another layer ofwork and then another layer of
doing this work is understandingthe difference between worldly
power and soulful power orspiritual power, which I get,
you know, that's probably therest of the book is about that.
And and knowing, you know, inwhich situations are we being
(39:59):
driven again to, to come fromthat from that place and we get
to choose. And so understandingthose differences are important.
And then I would say to wheneverif find a way that you can do
some breathwork because that'swhat's gonna heal a lot of the
subconscious stuff that's, youknow, that's driving us. And,
(40:22):
and it is, with all due respectto psychotherapy, I got, like I
said, I come out of thattradition. But the reason I
jumped tracks and didn't go forthe PhD, is because, sometimes
understanding I say, not morethan sometimes a lot of the
times, maybe even most of thetime, understanding what
(40:44):
happened to us when we're fiveor seven or 15, or whatever,
it's helpful. But it's notenough. Because that trauma no
longer lives in the psyche, inthe mind, now it lives in the
body has been somatize and so noamount of talking about it is
going to get to it. And that'swhy, you know, I get people that
have been going to therapy forlike 20-30 years, and they know
(41:07):
their story and their traumasinside out. But they're still
stuck in self sabotagingbehaviors and they're not happy.
And they're still stuck in thesame patterns of relationships
that don't work. And so they'llcome and do a weekend with me
and poof, you know, it's like,it's because the trauma gets
cleared, but by the breathworkand, and that's why I work with
(41:30):
a lot of therapists, when when alot of their clients are
plateaued, they'll send peopleto me for a couple of sessions
for a weekend I'm boom, like,everything gets activated, and
they make huge, huge lifechanging progress quickly.
I recently have had two reallypowerful breathwork sessions
where I feel like I mean,there's more to it than just
(41:53):
these things, but these werelike feel like a result but I
healed the relation with myfather, me and my mother in two
separate breathwork sessions. SoI can just I'm just echoing back
you know, this the power of thisand how effective it is. You
know, and it's so interestingthat I love that your your
people are therapists referringpeople to you it's like we need
(42:13):
to come together and hit bothsides of this instead of just
talking about things over andover again, I don't know if you
know this but I work with a lotof people that are traumatized
use picking up veterans firstresponders specifically, but I
specifically PTSD and we have aprocess of just neurologically
disconnects emotions, traumaticemotions from traumatic
memories, and just said a singlesession I can do what just like
(42:36):
you said here, like in twosessions I can do with 30 years
of therapy can do because we'regetting to the root cause and I
think that speaks into our ofgetting into the subconscious,
getting into the body, andreleasing, releasing these
things once and for all. And Ithink as we go through this,
like there's a there's a feelingof lightness, it's a subtle
shift in our in our body, butwe're carrying around these
(42:57):
these emotions, these negativeexperiences from our past, and
we're just storing them down andthen trying to think about it,
but it's not ever releasing it.
So I just love the emphasis onbreathwork. And I'm just
speaking into my personalexperience with it is profound.
And it's amazing.
Yeah, yeah, I love that just andI love like, like you say on
your website, life is too shortto play small, and and I love
(43:21):
your your three C's the courageto face the fears that keep us
stuck. And in victim mode, theclarity to know who we are, and
what we want and what we're herefor. And the confidence to find
your path and your purpose. Yourplace. It's like yeah, sure
that's, that's that's what Iwhen I saw that is like I knew
where you and I would would besimpatico and have a great
(43:43):
conversation.
Yeah, absolutely. I feel likethat's, that's the key to
awakening. The soul of power youknow, is like tuning into all
those things that we're here init, like you put in the book so
well is turning it all back onyourself. And going inside of
yourself and willing to acceptthese you talked about Carl Jung
we are integrating our shadow,releasing what doesn't serve us
(44:05):
moving on from our past into aclear vision that we have for
the world that can be completelydifferent from that if we're
willing to do the work, faceourselves, face our past
mistakes and learn to let go ofthose things. So we can be free.
Exactly. You talk toward the endof the book about this sort of
(44:25):
metamorphosis that's happeningat a global scale. Christian I
like to know what this visionyou have for the world after the
sort of awakening andtransformation that's happening.
Like what does this look likehow do we know.
You know i don't i i'm not surewhat it's gonna look like but
but it can't look the way thatit does you know with with this
(44:48):
relationship that we have, youknow, this kind of specially as
man you know what yourrelationship to life is, fuck it
or kill it. And so much of ourrelationship to nature is about,
and to the body's aboutsubjugation and control and
conquering that, that thatexplains why we treat the planet
the way that we do. So I knowthat at least, there's going to
(45:11):
have to be a shift in how wethink about ourselves, how we
think about each other, and howwe think about our relationship
to the planet. And because partof the go going back to the ego
teachings, you know, Ken Wilberwrites that we haven't always
had an ego, we haven't alwayshad a sense of self, like a
sense of individual identity. Asfar as we know, we're the only
(45:31):
species that has that sense ofself, that sense of individual
personality, Homo sapiens,Sapiens or Latin name, it means
it can be translated as humanswho know that we know. So it's
that self, the ego is that selfreflexive consciousness that
allows us to think back up onourselves. And he talks about
how when the ego develop thatsense of individual personality
(45:54):
developed and as it was both aleap in consciousness, a huge
leap in consciousness, but it'salso the, the, the source of all
our suffering, because now wecan have with an individual
identity now we can have, we canfeel lonely, we can feel we can
have abandonment issues, we canfeel separate and alone, we can
have a sense of our ownmortality. So those are the
(46:17):
surprise we pay for having anindividual identity which he
says by the way, that that wasthen mythologized when the when
the ego developed in us, it wasmythologized all over the
planet, because that story isseen in religions all over the
world, of the expulsion from thegarden, because that's when we
lost our connection to somethinggreater than ourselves. And so I
(46:40):
think that going forward, thatthat is one shift, that would
impact everything else, if wereclaim our sense of
connectedness, not only toourselves starting there, but to
each other. And, you know, whenwe think about the things that
we allow to keep us separate isridiculous, like we are in our
(47:00):
DNA is this identical, like99.9999%, we talk about
different races, like there'snot enough difference in terms
of DNA to be considered adifferent race, we share 98.4 of
our DNA is identical to chimps,50% of our DNA is identical to
bananas. So so we that's to melike that is one thing that has
(47:25):
to shift is that so that wereclaim our sense of
interconnectedness, and that westart thinking about this tiny,
tiny pebble hurtling throughspace and 1000s of miles per
hour, while revolving uponitself on somehow we don't fly
off of it. But if we don't, ifwe just like we're devouring are
(47:48):
in consuming our naturalresources, without even
considering the impact on ourown survival as a species, the
planet will be fine, you know,might take a few million years,
but life will continue in someform. I would even venture a
coat consciousness will continuein some form, maybe, maybe at
the end, it's an intelligent,enlightened cockroach planet,
(48:09):
who knows whether we make it?
Hmm. Right. We're just nowbeginning to witness and I hate
to say is just beginning towitness what we have unleashed
on the environment. And sothat's why I say that it's all
hands on deck, and that anybodywho has the slightest suspicion
to do that we have work to do.
(48:32):
It's like we don't have it, wedon't have the time to wait
another five years for anothercertification, another course,
do the certification if youwant, but don't use that as an
excuse to not step into yourrole that you have come here to
play.
Smoothly, they say that we'reentering the sixth mass
extinction, you know, we'reliterally not going to be alive
(48:52):
for that much longer if we keepdoing the same thing we've
always done. And I love how thisjust integrates so well, with
the idea of healing the ego,it's like, once we realize it's
all about us, you know, and whatI can get for me, me, me, and we
realize that there's somethingbigger happening here, and we're
connecting to something largerthan ourselves. And we get
really reconnected to nature andwhat's gifted here for us on
(49:12):
this planet, then we can reallystart to step back off of the
destruction and, and work toimprove the world around us and
ourselves and empower the peoplearound us and in doing that we
empower ourselves.
Yeah. And I love that, that thework that you do with action
adventures that you are givingpeople a taste of that of that
(49:34):
interconnection to nature and toeverything else. Absolutely.
I mean, those experiences aretransformational. I feel so
grateful to be on that path. Imean, I what's what I would call
Infinite Intelligence andconnectedness to all things are
feeling their words when youdon't when you've never
experienced that, but it's awhole nother level when you
really tap into those deeperrealms of possibility about
(49:57):
what's going on here. And it'ssuch a it's such an interesting
thing. How shifts your life inincredibly powerful direction.
It's it's a game changer it'sit's shifting away from the from
the reality of the baseball andstepping into the reality of the
stadium like oh my god likedifferent rules different
physics almost.
(50:17):
Absolutely. Alright ChristianWell, thanks so much for all
this amazing these insights,these ideas, inspiration you're
providing us here can you speakinto where people can learn more
about you get connected with youon social media, get the book
and all this good stuff? Yeah,yeah. And first of all, thank
you Jesse for for having me onthe show. Thanks for having the
show. I know that it reaches alot of people, it makes a
(50:37):
difference. And thank you forall the work that you do.
Helping people get free and getreconnected in terms of reaching
me the books available on Amazonat your local bookstore,
wherever books are sold, andprobably the best way to reach
me as my websitesoulfulpower.com from there,
they can access my differentsocial media and for your
listeners, if they sign up to beon my email list, they'll get a
(51:02):
sample a sample chapter of thebook, they'll get some of these
power practices which which aredesigned to integrate the
teachings to our lives, justlike we don't need more
information, we've gotinformation overload, what we
need is transformation. Sothat's what the teaching the
practices are designed to dothat to apply them to our life
so that our lives transformwhich is what we want and to
(51:24):
transform into our power andinto into relationships that can
actually work. And then we'llget a guided meditation and a
little bit of a teaching ontrust like stepping into trust
in these times of chaos andAbsolutely all we got that in
the show notes below butuncertainty.
(51:46):
awakening the soul of power issuch a great book. Check it, out
get it Amazon get the get thatone chapter if you want, get the
free meditation but dive intothis book. It's it's really,
really good. I'll link all yourwebsite information in the show
notes Christian, thanks so much.
Just one last thing, what's theadvice that you would give to,
to people that are consideringtaking this journey of
(52:08):
empowerment?
Just do it. Just do it. Trust,you know, the image, the image
that comes to me is from IndianaJones. You know, I think it's
the I always forget that themovie. It's the wall, he's
standing at the cliff side andthen on the other side of the
cliff or other differentchalices. So it might be the
(52:28):
holy grail one. And it's notuntil he figures out that he has
to step into the void, that thestone of the bridge shows up to
meet his foot. And and sobecause of the critical nature
of the times, I know that whenone of us makes makes that
(52:49):
choice that's going to furthernot only our own process of
healing, and evolution, butconsequently, all the other
people that are going to betouched through us is that the
universe will support us as ithas no choice. The universe has
a vested interest in each one ofus stepping into our power and
you're fulfilling our potential.
(53:09):
Take one step the next stepappears amazing. Exactly. Thank
you so much. Thank you so muchfor coming on to the action
hour. Ladies and gentlemen,thanks so much for tuning in.
Dive into Christian's world.
I'll link everything in the shownotes, and we'll catch you on
the next episode.
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