Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
There's always
something relative in a
partnership, meaning she has anidea.
We have this whole plan, allthese projects going on.
It's all wonderful, it's allperfectly harmonious and moving
at exactly the pace I predicted,figuring out that she's coming
to the table with this idea froma different perspective.
Different and wrong are not thesame thing.
(00:21):
Different perspective on how toget to where we want to go,
yeah, and to go one step further.
You have the opportunity tofulfill a purpose If you've been
fortunate enough to even knowand not everybody knows what
their purpose is.
But if you believe that youhave a purpose, if you believe
even further to take it all theway to conclusion, the Creator
(00:41):
put you here specifically forthat purpose.
Not in every case, of course,but in so many cases.
Becoming an entrepreneur helpsyou fulfill that.
You sure as hell have thefreedom to fulfill that.
But there's something else.
We talk about success.
We've said it earlier, aboutmoney impact.
But there's something morepersonal than that.
(01:03):
Let's say you have a purpose.
Let's say you agree with ourpersonal philosophy that God is
our creator, whichever God youchoose to believe in, and that
he creates you with a purpose.
Imagine the personal reward.
This justifies that reward Iwas talking about earlier, for
when you stick it out throughthe struggles and figure out a
way to get there, like thepersonal reward way beyond
(01:31):
balance sheets and profit andloss reports that you found and
have at least even begun tofulfill that purpose and how the
world changes around you.
When you're in pursuit of thatpurpose.
You don't have to be abillionaire to be successful,
you don't have to be amillionaire to be successful.
You don't have to champion yourpurpose, your goal, whatever it
is for it to matter, it's thepursuit, this first step that
(01:52):
oftentimes is really the mostrewarding the decision, the
overcoming of fear to go andpursue it.
And I know for me and I'm aboutto ask Michelle the same thing
that when I do that, when I'mengaged in the pursuit of my
purpose, we may argue, we maynot agree on this or that, but
(02:14):
in the end, just that feelingthat this is what I'm here for.
I'm doing what's right for me,not what somebody else said is
right for everybody, but for me,because this is why I was put
here You're going to find thecourage.
That's the source of energythat moves you through the hard
times, and you and I have donethat a million times.
(02:38):
I think, and we'll probably doit a million more times.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I remember thinking
about that a lot when I was a
kid what's my purpose?
What am I supposed to do withmy life?
And I think a lot of people gothrough that, especially people
that are a little bit younger,and thinking that it's just like
they've got to dial in on thisone thing and when they're
waiting for it to pop up andit'd be like this voice that
comes out of nowhere that saysyou're supposed to do this.
(03:02):
But purpose isn't about findingthe one thing.
It's about the pursuit of it.
It's about making a decision totry something and going down
that road and then seeing whereit leads.
Eventually, you might find thatone thing right, but probably
more likely is that you'll finda lot of different things that
(03:24):
fulfills what is your purpose,and a lot of times what you'll
see is that your underlyingpurpose is, throughout those
different things that we do, butit's just making a choice to
follow your heart and for theplaces you're being called to go
, instead of being afraid andstaying stuck and not making a
decision to go.
Instead of being afraid andstaying stuck and not making a
(03:45):
decision.
The worst thing you can do isjust be stuck, and it's so hard
sometimes because you weigh outall the pros and cons.
Should you do this or shouldyou do this?
If I do this, there's X, y andZ, and if I do this, then
there's these other things, andthey all could go wrong.
I just don't know what to do,and so you end up staying stuck
and you don't get to pursueanything.
You know exactly where yourlife is going to go if you
continue staying in the sameplace that you are right now.
(04:07):
So you just have to make achoice.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
And that's where I
think emotion plays a part.
Choices are half chance period.
I just believe it.
Somebody wants to prove yourown power to you, but they are.
And the reason why they are isbecause we don't know the future
.
Right, I don't know what'sgoing to happen tomorrow.
What's going to happen fiveminutes from now.
How do I make a choice?
Some are obvious, right, likejust don't jump in front of
moving cars, you'll live longerObvious.
(04:30):
What we're talking about issomething more strategic than
that, something slightly morecomplicated.
But that's where sometimes, Ithink emotional plays in.
I'm not talking about radicalemotions freaking out, making
some knee-jerk decision.
What I'm talking about islistening to our emotional state
, listening to our heart.
That's oftentimes where God'smessage is coming from.
So when you're battling thisdecision and you're really
(04:50):
battling fear you're almostnever actually battling a
decision You're battling yourfear of it or of making the
wrong decision or the outcome.
But that's where we can tune in, get that gut feeling that deep
down.
That's an emotion too.
It's not analytical data.
That gut feeling inside of you,that voice in the back of your
head that speaks to youemotionally and can have a huge
(05:12):
part in how you make thesedecisions moving forward, and
that's oftentimes what you and Ihave to do.
Sometimes we have so muchemotion around and we've got to
work through that to get to thepoint not to isolate ourselves
from the emotional part, but toisolate the static and the fear
and get down to the emotionalmessage that's most important.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
And sometimes that is
hard to do.
Sometimes it's hard todifferentiate between what's
fear and what's real.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You have such a
talent for doing that with
people with me, of course, andour family, but also people
within our company and outsideof our company too.
People love to tell you whatthose emotions are, and your
response is always so helpful.
It's like this okay, let'sorganize this and then we'll
unpack it.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
So I think it's just
giving people the space to say
what their truth is, withoutjudgment.
I don't think we give eachother the opportunity to do that
.
Very often, most people thatyou talk to and ask for advice
or wisdom, they'll tell you whatthey think you should do, and
that's likely not what you needto hear.
You need someone that willlisten without judgment so that
(06:20):
you can speak what's true foryou.
That's the only way you can askfor other people's advice, but
likely their life isn't the sameas yours and their purpose
isn't the same as yours.
So they may give you the wisdomthat they have, but ultimately
it comes down to you discoveringwhat that truth is.
Learning from other people, ofcourse, but making this decision
(06:40):
on your own, because it's goingto be your responsibility in
the end, not someone else's.
That's empowering too.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Absolutely, and we do
those things differently
between men and women.
Typically, too, men look atthings very differently than
women do, even in business, evenin something that seems so
rigid or so process oriented.
And just another one of thethings that I watch you, that
I've seen you master over theyears, is like you're liberated
(07:07):
female perspective like onthings and how you bring that to
the table with so much energyand power, but it's never
intimidating to the peopleyou're talking to.
It's incredible to watch you dothat, not just in business and
family, but outside of that.
Like you, in this game thereare not as many women as men and
(07:30):
you bring this element of notbeing a female, trying to
emulate the masculine right.
But no, I'm a woman, I'mliberated, I have a deep
understanding of myself, and youbring that to the table with
some of the other things thatyou're doing.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I think what women
need to understand is that you
don't have to be a man or actlike a man in business.
It's about really understandingand valuing the gifts that women
bring and that feminineperspective brings, because a
lot of times when you work withmen, make a choice and move
forward and process verygoal-driven, women are a lot
(08:08):
more emotional and we thinkabout all the different pros and
cons and we're able to processeverything that's going on,
which sometimes that makes itdifficult to make a choice.
But what's incredible aboutbeing in a partnership with a
man, whether it's your partneror just working with other men
is that you have two sides ofthe perspective One that's ready
(08:32):
to make a decision with all ofthe information.
That's what's so incredibleabout husband and wife working
together is that the femininecan bring in all the different
sides of every single decision,which is sometimes overwhelming,
but it's something that maybeyou wouldn't have thought of,
and so then you're able to saylet's take all this information
and make a decision.
It's very empowering to be awoman in business, because we do
(08:58):
think of things differently andwe need men in our life and in
our business to work with and todo life with.
It just makes everything gomuch smoother.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
That's how it's
designed too.
We each bring differentattributes to the table right,
different ways to execute, tomove things down the road.
Where it gets messy is tryingto decide which one you use in
any given moment, but eventuallyyou find rhythm through that.
I think part of that is justpractice.
You have to try it.
You said stuff to me and I'mlike I don't know what the fuck
she's thinking Like.
(09:31):
If I wrote down on a piece ofpaper and read it to myself, I'd
be like what drugs have I beendoing?
But the reason it's soconfusing to me is because I
haven't figured out how she'sconnected it to the situation
that we're in and the outcomethat we both want.
There's always somethingrelative in a partnership,
meaning she has an idea, hits mewith it.
We have this whole plan, wehave all these projects going on
(09:51):
.
It's all wonderful, it's allperfectly harmonious and moving
at exactly the pace I predicted.
And now you're saying somethingthat I can't make sense of,
because I don't understand howit connects to the endgame.
We always have the same endgamein mind, and so some people say
that's tolerance.
It's not tolerance, it'sputting your ego aside, paying
attention and I don't have thismastered and figuring out that
(10:15):
she's coming to the table withthis idea from a different
perspective Different and wrongare not the same thing A
different perspective on how toget to where we want to go.
So, then, the gears need toshift from frustration or
resistance which, trust me,every man listening to this
knows exactly what I'm talkingabout when they're presented
(10:35):
with an idea from a woman thatthey resist.
The truth is, it should beexplored.
So, when those things come up,it's about trusting her instinct
, trusting that she has the sameend game in mind, and so,
therefore, it's my job to try toexplore what happens more time,
often than not, when we do thispeacefully, without arguing,
(10:56):
it's that approach.
She comes to me with somethingshe doesn't find radical.
I find it radical, so there'sgrounds for conflict.
You move past that and explorewhy is this happening?
What is your thinking behindthis?
Again, with a masculine, buildthe stage for her to dance on,
build the opportunity for her toexplain and accept the fact
that you may not have a cluewhat she's talking about until
(11:18):
you explore it, and then youfind out.
There's a different way to getthere, and in many cases, it's a
way you didn't think of and away that is better than perhaps,
no matter how well we planned,that we had thought of
originally.
The other thing to remember tooDepending on your business you
likely serve men and women.
(11:38):
It's incredibly valuable tohave both perspectives.
When you're designing a companythat's giving or selling a
product to both men and women,they're going to see it
differently, they're going tofeel it differently.
They're going to make it twodifferent, a lot of times
diametrically oppositeconclusions because of an
emotion tied to that decisiondecisions because of an emotion
(12:00):
tied to that decision.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, no, I think the
feminine in relationship,
especially when you're inbusiness, has to be patient and
understand that a lot of timesyour idea.
I know things.
When I explain to you sometimesthings I'm thinking of, you
don't get it and you completelytune me out, which then usually
makes me angry.
But I'm also learning thatsometimes I have to give it more
time and maybe really try toexplain it in a few different
types of ways so that I canbring you into what I'm trying
(12:28):
to communicate.
It is probably abstract.
It doesn't make sense on how itall connects.
Learning to be patient with theinformation that I'm sharing
has helped, and learning to makesure that you're in a good
space to receive that.
Sometimes I think what women doand I know that I'm guilty of
this is just bring somethingwhen it's not really a good
(12:49):
space and time to bringsomething up.
And so for us I know that itworks a lot better if we're in a
space where I say I need totalk about this, if I have this
idea, I'd like to run by you andthen your mind is clear, you're
not focusing on a bunch ofdifferent things, and then we
can talk through somethingthrough all of the details, and
that's received a whole lotbetter.
(13:10):
That's just one little thingthat helps us work better
together.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Because I love to
make decisions and I'm never
afraid to make decisions.
To me, a decision made is astep forward, Even if we later
find out for whatever reason, orlabel that as the wrong
decision.
At least you made the choice.
Make the decision, move thething along.
Let's go.