September 3, 2025 • 38 mins
In a heartfelt episode, Meg navigates through a series of medical challenges that surfaced due to gallstones, requiring potential surgery. She recounts dealing with intense pain during what was supposed to be a celebratory time, stressing over delayed hospital treatments, and how lifestyle stressors exacerbated her condition. Meg also brings up cultural aspects, pondering how her adoption influenced dietary choices that contributed to health issues. Her story is a journey through physical pain and identity discovery, illustrating the complex and often hidden interconnections between personal health and adoption.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hi, this is Meg.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
And this is Billy.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And we are.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
The Adopt Twins.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Meg and this is Billy , and we are the Adopt Twins.
Welcome to a podcast from twoadoptees who are navigating life
loss, moving on and growing up.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
For our adopted friends we hope to bring you a
familiar point of view and forour friends who aren't welcome
to the complicated jungle of howwe get on so I know I've
mentioned previously about notbeing able to have children
(00:52):
anymore, not going to koreabecause of health things and
stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Again, adoption comes to rear its ugly head, so I
spent the christmas holidays inthe hospital okay happened.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
When did you start to feel like something was off?
What did you feel?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
So in November I got a really, really, really bad
pain in my abdomen and it was inmy back and I was dying in pain
, I was in tears and I didn'tknow what to do and then in a
couple hours it just went awayand I said, okay, that was weird
.
And so I talked to my PCP aboutit and she gave me like
(01:31):
medicines for like back spasms.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And so then it happened again and I said this
is not good.
She had thought that I shouldhave some tests done, so I did,
and apparently I have gallstones.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Okay, and for the uninitiated what are gallstones?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So your gallbladder is a little sack, it's very,
very tiny and it holds bile sothat your body can break down
fat.
So it's an important thing thathelps so that when you eat like
fatty foods and stuff, it goesin and does its job and starts
breaking all that down.
When you get gallstones,they're little, actual stones
(02:16):
that form in your gallbladderand what can cause the pain is
when one gets into the duct thatgoes from your gallbladder to
your liver.
The gallstone can get stuck inthere and until it gets out of
there you will be in pain,massive, massive amounts of pain
.
And so I was to meet with asurgeon but the surgeon couldn't
(02:42):
get me in until February.
So I was hoping and prayingthat they did not act up while I
was like on the flight toDisney or on the flight to Korea
for 14, and somehow, with God'shelp or something, I went.
(03:06):
That whole trip of Disney andKorea with eating what I wanted,
because I knew that I wasprobably never going back to
either of those places at thatpoint in my life is how I felt
and eating whatever I wanted andnot having any issues, thank
God.
And I flew home a week beforeChristmas and Christmas holidays
come, and had a lot of stresswith personal things and
(03:30):
apparently stress can set themoff.
And so I ended up in the ER andI had to call an ambulance.
And I had to, and I sat in bedfor a while contemplating it, as
I did the time before, and Iended up last time that that had
happened, to not calling theambulance.
But this time I did.
But then I also had to call myson's father.
(03:52):
He didn't pick up, so I calledhis fiance.
She luckily picked up and I saidI am going to the hospital, so
you need to come get the kiddo.
And the ambulance called thepolice because when they got
there his father wasn't thereyet.
So the police came and stayedwith the kiddo and the ambulance
called the police because whenthey got there his father wasn't
there yet.
So the police came and stayedwith the kiddo.
And then I went to the ER and Istayed in the waiting room
(04:12):
crying and bawling and wailinguntil about seven in the morning
when this was 1.30 in themorning until they finally
brought me to a room and by thetime someone saw me about an
hour and a half later the stonehad passed.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Passed the stone in the ER, naturally.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, oh, wow.
Yeah.
You know people talk about howit's like I really got to go see
the doctor, but as soon as Iget there I'm going to feel fine
.
That is just a superchargedversion of that.
It's like I'm going to getthere, I'm not going to have any
stifles, my sore throat's goingto go away.
It's going to be a wasted trip,and for you I mean great that
(04:59):
they passed right, but alsocould have had some help a
little beforehand.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Yeah, it would have been nice.
And then they were like, well,why did you come here if they
know about it at your PCP, who'saffiliated with Yale?
And I was like, well, becausethis is my local hospital, this
is the closer one, and I feltlike I was dying.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So then they gave me oxys to manage the pain if it
happened again.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
And so I followed up with my PCP after the holidays
and I spoke with the surgeonfinally in February and I used
the oxys as needed and I wentback and forth the pain came
back after they passed.
(05:41):
Was it just?
Yes, because you'll pass theone that's stuck in the duct,
but it doesn't mean you don'thave more in your gallbladder.
But if they're just hanging outin there they don't really
cause pain.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Okay, gotcha.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah.
So I went back and forth onsurgery because the pain went
away for a really long time andI was like, well, you know what,
I don't need to do this.
And I was managing it well.
And the first time I canceledit was because they wanted to do
it the Friday before Easter andI said that's not going to work
for me.
So then it got moved to.
(06:14):
I think it was like the day ortwo after Mother's Day.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Great.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah.
And so I talked to her the weekbefore and I was like, no, I
haven't had any pain for acouple of months, I don't think
I'm going to do the surgery.
And then that, not that daythat I talked to her, the day
after that night, I had the painagain and I called her back the
next day and I said, okay,let's schedule the surgery, man,
but do you know what keeps yourgallbladder healthy?
(06:43):
Profound amount of opiates knowwhat keeps your gallbladder
healthy?
Profound amount of opiates.
Well, it doesn't keep ithealthy but manages the pain
well.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
But vitamin C.
Oh, okay yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And do you know historically what group of
people has had the lowest rateof gallbladder issues?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Hold on, let me just.
Is it Koreans, east Asians, soit's East Asians in general.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Mm-hmm.
And do you know what a lot ofthe old helminies carry around
with them all the time?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Chewable vitamin C tablets.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Actual oranges.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, okay, bags oforanges.
So I'm like, oh cool, if I wasin my home country, I probably
would have been eating morevitamin C and I wouldn't have
ever had this issue Great.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Fun.
That's really not somethingthat they teach predominantly in
the public schools.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
No.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I don't remember that lesson ever.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, I don't remember that lesson ever yeah, so yet
another thing adoption took awayfrom me.
It took my gallbladder.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
So what's the recovery for that?
Look like, is it?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So it is not lifting anything over a gallon for I
think it was a couple weeks,okay, and then not lifting
anything or pushing or pullinganything over 20 pounds for six
weeks, and then it's also, youknow, watching what you're
eating and all this other stufftoo.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
So how understanding was your son about these
limitations?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
these limitations.
So, uh, he wasn't the happiestabout it, but the picking him up
had been getting less and lessas far as like how long I could
hold him for anyways.
So he, he dealt with it.
Okay, he did.
He did, luckily, like he wasn'thappy about it, but he didn't
cause tantrums or anything,luckily.
That's great.
I had no stretch marks oranything from when I had him,
but now I got these four funcuts on my tummy.
(08:55):
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
They sliced open my belly button.
That was one of the cuts.
I don't even know what thatlooks like anymore, oh my gosh.
That Friday, the 21st, June 21st, I had my surgery.
But that Monday I woke up and Ihad a stiff neck.
I'm like, well, I've got todrive my kid 40 minutes on 95 in
(09:21):
rush hour traffic to camp Great.
So I did that.
And then we stayed at a hotelfor a couple of nights and that
Tuesday my neck was still stiff.
That Wednesday, both sides ofmy neck were stiff and I'm like,
well, this is not good.
And then Thursday, the leftside of my neck then really,
really hurt.
I decided that I should get amassage.
(09:43):
I was like, maybe I'm superstressed about the surgery
tomorrow, Maybe I'm just like Ithought I slept wrong, but it's
continuing, so let's go get amassage.
Yeah, that didn't help at all.
And then I'm looking at my neckand on my left side couldn't
see my collarbone.
Whoa, that's how swollen myneck was.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Whoa, that's how swollen my neck was and you
could just tell between the twosides like that is wrong.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah.
So I left the massage and Iwent to the urgent care and by
the time I got there and seen itwas close to 6 pm and they said
you need to get an ultrasoundstat.
And I said, well, it's 6 pm,can't do that right now.
And they're like, well, thenyou need to go tomorrow.
And it's like funny story, Iactually have surgery tomorrow,
(10:34):
not for this.
So two weeks later I finallygot my ultrasound and there's
this thing.
I don't know if they have itthere.
There's probably somethingsimilar, though.
If not, it MyChart.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Are you talking about in Chicago?
Yes, there's.
Depending on your provider,there's an app that you can
access anytime that tells youeverything about yourself, if
you've had a recent panel oftests.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Okay.
So yes, that is very similar toMyChart.
So, mychart, it's great thatyou have access to all of this
stuff.
What's not great is that youhave access to all of this stuff
before you talk to your doctor.
Oh, it said that there was amass and I needed to get a
ultrasound of my chest.
Whoa Right, but what is thismass?
(11:24):
What are you talking about?
What do you mean?
I need to get anotherultrasound.
What is happening to me?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
So this all happened during 4th of July.
So I got the ultrasound andthen the next day my doctor was
like, well, before you move onwith another thing, let me see
you first.
So I went to see her.
So then the next day I was ableto get the ultrasound of my
chest done and that said that,thanks to my chart, said I
(11:54):
needed to get the next test done.
So I had to drive an hour and ahalf because it was the only
place that had availability andI was there for all of five
minutes for the test.
And then I got my results againon my chart.
Yay, and those results saidthat I needed a biopsy or a PET
scan.
(12:14):
And so it also had a voicemailfrom the on-call doctor.
And the on-call doctor saidcall me and let me know what
time we can speak.
And I said oh, okay.
So I call and the woman whopicks up on the after hours
thing which on weekends it'salways going to be the after
(12:36):
hours person picking up and Isay I'm looking to speak with Dr
So-and-so.
Well, what's this about?
Well, he sent me a voicemailthat said to call him and let
him know when I was available tospeak about the test results.
And she says well, it saysright here not to bother any
doctors about test results andyou can talk to him on Monday.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Great.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
And I said but he literally left a voicemail
saying let me know what time wecan talk.
So she's like, yeah, no, Ican't do that.
So I had to go through Saturday, sunday and then finally, on
Monday, speak to someone.
And I spoke to my doctor andshe's like well, you could do
the PET scan or we can just gostraight to the biopsy.
(13:18):
And I said, oh, biopsy.
She's like because, dependingon what the biopsy says, you'll
probably need the PET scananyways.
I said, great, so we went anddid the biopsy and my chart,
coming through once again, gotmy results back and I said this
does not sound good at all.
So I was able to talk to mydoctor.
(13:41):
Finally, I had to leave in themiddle of Minions not even the
middle, it was like 10 minutesinto Minions.
And I had to leave because Isaw my doctor was calling and
I'm talking to her out in thelobby of an AMC movie theater.
She's like so did you see mychart?
And I said yes.
And she's like did you do someGoogling?
(14:02):
And I said yes.
She's like what did you learn?
And I tell her some things?
And she's like well, that'sactually all correct, and so
it's a good thing that you didgo to the urgent care because
you do have cancer.
Oh my God, yeah, so that's beena journey.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So you have cancer.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yes, classical Hodgkin's lymphoma.
So I now have a hematologist.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
And the hematologist is a doctor who deals with blood
cancers, which I guess lymphomais a blood cancer.
Okay, it has a really high curerate, so that's a plus.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Cure rate that's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yes, and so I got the PET scan and it was in two
areas.
One was very large and he askedme at my follow-up he's like,
have you been having troublebreathing?
And I'm like yes, and he's likeokay, Because it's literally
pushing on the airway.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yeah, so it's like closing the amount of space in
the airway, is it?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
like shortness of breath or just hard to breathe
in.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
There was like pain or Like going up a flight of
stairs.
I'm winded.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Just gassed so.
So a care plan has been put inplace, which is chemotherapy,
and I had to have a port put in,which I'm very upset about it,
because they said that they wereputting the port in so that I
didn't have to get pricked withneedles all the time.
Well, every time I go to get mychemo through my port, they
stick me with a very big needlethrough the port.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Well, you can't trust doctors Meg.
No, they said you had back painand it was cancer.
Well, you can't trust doctorsMeg.
Yeah, they said you had backpain and it was cancer.
I mean, it wasn't it wasgallstones then, but it's
probable cancer was kind of I'mguessing it's not your
gallbladder went out and you'relike well, we got to replace the
mass somewhere.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
But what's interesting is what I've learned
about this is that the numbersof liver cancer spikes within
the first six months aftergallbladder surgery.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Fascinating.
I'm pretty sure liver cancer isa bad one to get.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yes, I don't need a second cancer coming up.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, no, he needs a second cancer that is that is
truer words have never beenspoken.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
So, provided all this chemo stuff goes well and
things go in the right direction, I should be done with chemo at
the end of January, which isright when my six months is up
for my gallbladder.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
So in a way it's almost preventative maintenance.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It's like getting an oil change.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, it's just like you know, know, this is going to
help a great many things todeal with this one thing.
So if we want to look at thepot of gold at the end of the
rainbow, that's.
That's the eternal optimistviewpoint on that, I guess.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Oh yes, I love it, love it.
So there's all different kindsof medicines that fall under
chemo.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
So I'm on four of them.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Vitamin C.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
You would think but no, that's a whole separate
thing.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
But three of them were set.
The fourth one, they wereundecided between two different
medicines and he's like well, Imean because this medicine works
better, but if you have afamily history and you carry it,
it can cause the autoimmunediseases to activate.
So what's your family history?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Oh my gosh, but, doctor, I am the great
Pagliaccio.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
So that's fun.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Love that for me, love that for you, love that for
them.
They're just like oh well, thiswill be routine.
Tell me about your parents and,like you, know what happened
when they were getting on in age.
Why are you just sitting theresmiling like this deep-water
smile?
What's happening right now?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Why are your eyes doing this twitchy and glassy
and I don't know what'shappening?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
You are full-on weeping right now.
This is the first question.
This is the easy one.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Did they die of an autoimmune disease?
What happened?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Just Elmo GIF shrug.
Just keep showing them that onewith every single question.
Oh, that's also a greatquestion.
Let me see what I have for that.
There it is.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Ma'am, you just showed me that.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Let's put it on the big board.
Let's loop it.
Can we loop that?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Great.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I'll just point, because I'm too weak to do
anything else Just in spirit,not in body, just in spirit.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
So what they decided to do about this.
Well, let me ask you what doyou think they decided to do
about?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
it.
So they had the option of thething.
That'll work, but it also couldwake up the scaries or they go
with something that's safer thatdoesn't work as well.
That's what the options were.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
They went with option B, I'm guessing.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
They decided to wing it and give it a try with the
one that works well.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
They have a diamond elite status at Mohegan Sun.
They're like let it ride.
We got big money on black.
It's been black all day.
Look at all those numbers inthe black.
It's going to be black again.
(20:12):
It has to be Okay.
How did you feel about that?
Did you have a say in yourpreference, or did they kind of
convince you that it wasprobably going to be fine?
Or was it just like, nah, nah,nah, we really should do this
one.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
It was basically.
This is what we're going to do.
Do you have any questions?
And I said I have so manyquestions, but none of them are
actually related to this.
Who are my parents?
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Good it's spread to the brain.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
How old am I?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Good, good, this is quite good.
These questions are good.
Where was I born?
All right, let's call thepsychoanalyst in here.
You might be staying the nightin a new type of resort, wow,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So I get asked very often if I have any numbness in
my limbs or tingling.
So I guess that's a sign.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
That's a sign of the perma-throst thawing.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's coming.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Okay, man, those glaciers, they're going away
quick.
Huh, what sweet hell liesbeneath.
We'll find out, or we won, whoknows, probably won't.
Hopefully won't speak it intoreality.
Nothing bad will happen everagain oh, that's not a phrase.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Adoptees understand.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
No, it's not Okay.
So ongoing process right now,yes, and is it a thing where
chemo gets introduced and thereare immediate effects for
relieving the symptoms and thecause, the symptoms and the
(22:15):
cause or is it we're going tohave to wait and see for a few
months to see what has beenaffected?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Good questions, so excuse me.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You just get to vomit in your mouth every 15 minutes.
Yeah, it's working.
The toxins are leaving my bodyevery 15 minutes.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
It's working.
The toxins are leaving my body.
Yeah, it's great.
So I never felt sick from thecancer, I mean, besides that
whole neck stiffness.
But you know what's weird?
When I woke up from mygallbladder surgery, no pain in
my neck, whatsoever, all goneGreat, and it stayed gone, not
like just because I was hoppedup on drugs, like it never came
(22:53):
back.
Besides that, never felt sickor hurt or anything from the
cancer.
I mean I couldn't really runwell, but I just thought I was
out of shape.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Yeah, yeah.
So then they give me thismedicine to get rid of the
cancer, and this medicine makesme feel really bad feel really
bad, like on a scale of that,that was a little bit too much
to drink last night, versushaving a child in your womb
that's developing in terms of,like quote-unquote, morning
(23:24):
sickness where's that morningsickness and I didn't throw up
from yeah, I'm drinking until Iwas in my 30s.
See, if you had just paced thisa little bit more and just had
the bad feelings, you wouldn'thave cancer.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I shoved it all deep down and I was good, Not deep it
was in your neck, you didn'tshove it.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Let's be fair.
You didn't shove it that fardeep, you shoved it to the side.
Oh, no, thank you.
You said you didn't say.
You said no, thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Just go over there Go will be honest, as horrible as
I feel at times, it's not as badas I thought that I would.
Good yeah, but I still feelhorrible, like the days after.
(24:26):
It's horrible, I'm tired, andwhat really sucks, though, is
for the first 72 hours after iswhen all of the chemo is leaving
your body.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So it comes out through, obviously, like urine
and saliva and stuff and all ofthat, but also through anything.
So through sweat, through tears, through whatever thing.
So through sweat, through tears, through whatever.
So my child can't like bearound me, but we've finally
(25:06):
flipped the weekends so thathe's with his father on my
weekends.
Where I am dealing with this Isyour child licking your
forehead?
No, but like hugs or whateverkind of stuff Like it's just
anything.
It's just too close with allthat, because apparently when
the chemo leaves your body, itcomes out 90% in its pure form.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Whoa, I didn't know that.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
So it's a nuclear bomb going off in a small town.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Okay, no-transcript, and just kind of like putting it
(25:59):
back in the hole in you thatyou have now.
I mean it's like all right, wegot still 90%.
Pure is pretty good.
Let's get back in there andlike just let's just recirculate
this until we're at 10% andthen we'll go get another dose.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
That would be great.
I wonder if we can look intothat.
Maybe that's something we caninvent.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I am positive, that's they've.
They've looked into it, they'vehad to.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Well, maybe they haven't figured it out yet,
maybe the people have not beensmart enough.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
We need smarter people in the world.
Let's go out yet.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Maybe the people have not been smart enough.
We need smarter people in theworld.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Let's go, not finding them here.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, how many rounds have they prescribed?
How many have you gone through?
So it's confusing to me becausea round is two doses.
So I have six rounds and 12doses, but I thought I was going
to have eight to 12 rounds.
I'm confused, but it looks likeit's only going to be six as of
(27:01):
right now.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I think so, but I get nauseous, and so what helps?
My nausea is eating.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Good.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Orange specifically is eating good, so orange
specifically right but, mostpeople lose like five to ten
percent of their body mass whenthey have chemo okay I have
never been heavier, except forwhen I've been pregnant.
I've been gaining weight.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
My body can't do anything right I was gonna have
a hot girl summer Cancer.
Well, okay, thanks doctor, weshould have gone with the other
option.
Obviously, it activated mylatent obesity gene.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I did have my two month pet scan.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
And clearly I must have not read it right, like I
read that there were thingsthere.
They were not as many things orthey were not as big things or
something, but he told me I'm inremission.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, great, yes, so woohoo, Congratulations.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
But he said we want to cure it.
And I said well, what's thedifference between remission and
curing, like what he's like?
Well, that's a good question.
And remission is when we can'tsee anything on the scans.
Curing is five years of notseeing anything.
Oh, okay, okay.
So how come, if I'm inremission, I have to do this
(28:43):
until January?
And he said well, we can't seeanything, but it doesn't mean
that it's not still there,lurking, waiting to grow bigger
again.
So though I never felt sickfrom the cancer, and though the
cancer is, as far as the eye cansee, gone, I get to continue
(29:06):
feeling sick for the next fewmonths.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Well, if things go well, that is, I think, an
appropriate toll to endure ifthings go in the direction of
being cured right.
Yes, I say this as a man, awithout cancer and B, having
(29:29):
just watched my wife throw upliterally every meal while our
daughter was gestating insideher for months.
So a real armchair, you'll befine, it's for the best.
It's just a little I can't eatanything.
I'm so sorry, meg yeah it is,you know.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I just wish I could have asked if this was in my
family history, you know?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Ah, but you know, they know, but you can't know,
right, I'm not allowed thatinformation.
You're not allowed thatinformation.
Man, I'm so glad that ourconversation is taking a turn
towards the things are lookinglike it's going to be okay, as
(30:32):
opposed to you're still workingon it.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, yeah, that that is a plus.
You know, I don't know, I don'thave any other PET scans
scheduled, so I'm not reallysure, like how they'll know, or
if we just finish up in Januaryand that's it.
I mean, obviously, you know, Iknow people go for checks every
you know however many months, orwhatever it is.
I just I'm like how are weactually going to check?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
yeah, if I start losing weight, is that bad?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
if I don't know, yeah , but you know I haven't lost
all my hair yet.
You lost some of it.
I have, I lost a lot of it, butlike now the cancer's gone and
now I'm going to lose all myhair.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
So I'm like this isn't fair.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
No, it's in.
The shaved head look is in.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
No, not for me.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Not for you, no.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
One of my best features was always my hair.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
It is great hair.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
I had deep resentment towards you because of it.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Right, everybody did yeah.
And now everybody's like, haha,look at you, go get your oil
changed.
Oh, look at you finally, butit's you know, it's supposed to
come back.
Everyone's like it'll come back, but it doesn't for everybody,
(31:57):
so it's supposed to come back.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, maybe you'll just be completely
unrecognizable.
Or you can buy a wig, I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Wigs are hot.
I have some, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You got like a bob.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I've got a long curly one.
I've got a short brown wavy one.
I've got two that are attachedto like headbands.
So that's cool, it's still hot,though.
I have one that's attached tolike a winter, like beanie hat.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Oh good, yeah.
Yeah, you have one of thosethat's like a ball cap and then
it's just like a real longmullet in the back.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Not yet.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Oh hot.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Keyword being yet.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
What a choose.
Your own adventure, yeah.
And so your son?
When you had to break it to him, did he understand the
implications?
Was it something that he's beenvery supportive for?
Is he kind of like oh you know,I still have to worry about
school and everything iswhatever?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
He's very much kind of everything is whatever except
about my hair.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Great.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
He keeps asking when I'm going to be bald.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Oh okay, he keeps asking when I'm gonna be bald.
Oh okay, well, at least he'sexcited about that, as opposed
to the possibility of it nevergrowing back again.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Oh, I think he'd like that oh, okay he seems to think
it's going to be hilarious whenI'm bald and he really wants to
see it and he doesn'tunderstand why I'm not bald yet
give it time, kid that'll be mybirthday gift to myself.
Yay, I don't know when mybirthday is, so my government
(33:42):
issued birthday myself.
Good god, yes, yay, so that'sbeen my health journey and
adoption.
If only we had that information, we wouldn't be rolling the
dice on so many things, butthat's the way it is for a lot
(34:02):
of us, I guess.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, that's yep, I mean it's.
I hope the doctors their guesswas educated, just looking at
the rest of your chart, seeingif there are any indicators of
any potential dormant things andthey were able to be accurate
with their prognosis and whatthey were doing with it.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
You mean my chart that says that I've been seeing
a neurologist since 2019 tryingto figure out if I have MS or
not.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
That's the one.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Yeah, guess it wasn't MS, just regular cancer.
Sweet delicious cancer God.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I just hope that in the future adoptees don't have
to go through this not knowingthing and we can really get some
better regulations going on.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah, for the longest time I had it as a sort of
badge of pride that I hadabsolutely no idea what could go
wrong with me, because I'veknown too many people who were
intimately aware of their familymedical history and were living
(35:19):
terrified just as time passed.
That does this mean?
Does this mean, while for myentire existence I've just been
like, well, maybe that's fine,or maybe it's not, who knows,
let's just see if we can writeit out?
It's always been okay, buthaving that option of this could
(35:42):
really fuck you up.
But you need it.
You could use it to get betterfrom this immediately.
It's just something that I hadnever really put any thought
towards as being so scary.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah, it was not a fun or easy thing to hear, and I
feel I think I was on theopposite side of the spectrum
from you.
Every little thing I gotworried about when I'd get
something wrong with me becauseI didn't know, I didn't know, so
I'd always be running.
And I think this time, though,it did come in handy, like okay,
(36:25):
I had a stiff neck, whatever,but I went, and they were able
to find it when it was stage onealmost stage two, I guess, but
still technically stage one.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Great.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
So that is my PSA, is that if you feel like there's
something that might be wrongwith you, just go check it out.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Run to the doctor say give me oxys and Get a
prescription for oranges, if youcan.
I am going to be texting all ofmy friends of East Asian
descent to just start every daypiling those vitamins into your
mouth and getting them downthere, because no one wants to
(37:06):
go through that sort of pain.
And, yeah, I'm glad you'refeeling better.
Well, no, you're feeling worse,but I'm glad that things are
looking better.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Right.
Internally they're lookingbetter, Not your hair.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Not your hair, gigantic girth.
The state of Connecticut isstarting to send letters about
the potholes down your street.
We deal with our sad feelingswith humor, da-da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
If you liked this episode of the Adopt Twins, I
urge you to pull over if you'redriving, or stop what you're
doing and take one minute totake out your phone and text
someone you know that you thinkwould also like the Adopt Twins.
Send them a text that says hey,I've been listening to this
podcast and I think you'd likeit.
Let me know what you think andsend them a link to the show.
(38:02):
Word of mouth is the best wayto spread the hilarity of the
Adopt Twins, so stop gatekeepingus and let someone else know
We'll catch y'all soon.
Hi, this is Meg.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
And this is Billy.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And we are.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
The Adopt Twins.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Meg and this is Billy , and we are the Adopt Twins.
Welcome to a podcast from twoadoptees who are navigating life
loss, moving on and growing up.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
For our adopted friends we hope to bring you a
familiar point of view and forour friends who aren't welcome
to the complicated jungle of howwe get on so I know I've
mentioned previously about notbeing able to have children
(00:52):
anymore, not going to koreabecause of health things and
stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Again, adoption comes to rear its ugly head, so I
spent the christmas holidays inthe hospital okay happened.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
When did you start to feel like something was off?
What did you feel?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
So in November I got a really, really, really bad
pain in my abdomen and it was inmy back and I was dying in pain
, I was in tears and I didn'tknow what to do and then in a
couple hours it just went awayand I said, okay, that was weird
.
And so I talked to my PCP aboutit and she gave me like
(01:31):
medicines for like back spasms.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And so then it happened again and I said this
is not good.
She had thought that I shouldhave some tests done, so I did,
and apparently I have gallstones.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Okay, and for the uninitiated what are gallstones?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So your gallbladder is a little sack, it's very,
very tiny and it holds bile sothat your body can break down
fat.
So it's an important thing thathelps so that when you eat like
fatty foods and stuff, it goesin and does its job and starts
breaking all that down.
When you get gallstones,they're little, actual stones
(02:16):
that form in your gallbladderand what can cause the pain is
when one gets into the duct thatgoes from your gallbladder to
your liver.
The gallstone can get stuck inthere and until it gets out of
there you will be in pain,massive, massive amounts of pain
.
And so I was to meet with asurgeon but the surgeon couldn't
(02:42):
get me in until February.
So I was hoping and prayingthat they did not act up while I
was like on the flight toDisney or on the flight to Korea
for 14, and somehow, with God'shelp or something, I went.
(03:06):
That whole trip of Disney andKorea with eating what I wanted,
because I knew that I wasprobably never going back to
either of those places at thatpoint in my life is how I felt
and eating whatever I wanted andnot having any issues, thank
God.
And I flew home a week beforeChristmas and Christmas holidays
come, and had a lot of stresswith personal things and
(03:30):
apparently stress can set themoff.
And so I ended up in the ER andI had to call an ambulance.
And I had to, and I sat in bedfor a while contemplating it, as
I did the time before, and Iended up last time that that had
happened, to not calling theambulance.
But this time I did.
But then I also had to call myson's father.
(03:52):
He didn't pick up, so I calledhis fiance.
She luckily picked up and I saidI am going to the hospital, so
you need to come get the kiddo.
And the ambulance called thepolice because when they got
there his father wasn't thereyet.
So the police came and stayedwith the kiddo and the ambulance
called the police because whenthey got there his father wasn't
there yet.
So the police came and stayedwith the kiddo.
And then I went to the ER and Istayed in the waiting room
(04:12):
crying and bawling and wailinguntil about seven in the morning
when this was 1.30 in themorning until they finally
brought me to a room and by thetime someone saw me about an
hour and a half later the stonehad passed.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Passed the stone in the ER, naturally.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, oh, wow.
Yeah.
You know people talk about howit's like I really got to go see
the doctor, but as soon as Iget there I'm going to feel fine
.
That is just a superchargedversion of that.
It's like I'm going to getthere, I'm not going to have any
stifles, my sore throat's goingto go away.
It's going to be a wasted trip,and for you I mean great that
(04:59):
they passed right, but alsocould have had some help a
little beforehand.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Yeah, it would have been nice.
And then they were like, well,why did you come here if they
know about it at your PCP, who'saffiliated with Yale?
And I was like, well, becausethis is my local hospital, this
is the closer one, and I feltlike I was dying.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So then they gave me oxys to manage the pain if it
happened again.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
And so I followed up with my PCP after the holidays
and I spoke with the surgeonfinally in February and I used
the oxys as needed and I wentback and forth the pain came
back after they passed.
(05:41):
Was it just?
Yes, because you'll pass theone that's stuck in the duct,
but it doesn't mean you don'thave more in your gallbladder.
But if they're just hanging outin there they don't really
cause pain.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Okay, gotcha.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah.
So I went back and forth onsurgery because the pain went
away for a really long time andI was like, well, you know what,
I don't need to do this.
And I was managing it well.
And the first time I canceledit was because they wanted to do
it the Friday before Easter andI said that's not going to work
for me.
So then it got moved to.
(06:14):
I think it was like the day ortwo after Mother's Day.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Great.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah.
And so I talked to her the weekbefore and I was like, no, I
haven't had any pain for acouple of months, I don't think
I'm going to do the surgery.
And then that, not that daythat I talked to her, the day
after that night, I had the painagain and I called her back the
next day and I said, okay,let's schedule the surgery, man,
but do you know what keeps yourgallbladder healthy?
(06:43):
Profound amount of opiates knowwhat keeps your gallbladder
healthy?
Profound amount of opiates.
Well, it doesn't keep ithealthy but manages the pain
well.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
But vitamin C.
Oh, okay yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And do you know historically what group of
people has had the lowest rateof gallbladder issues?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Hold on, let me just.
Is it Koreans, east Asians, soit's East Asians in general.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Mm-hmm.
And do you know what a lot ofthe old helminies carry around
with them all the time?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Chewable vitamin C tablets.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Actual oranges.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, okay, bags oforanges.
So I'm like, oh cool, if I wasin my home country, I probably
would have been eating morevitamin C and I wouldn't have
ever had this issue Great.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Fun.
That's really not somethingthat they teach predominantly in
the public schools.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
No.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I don't remember that lesson ever.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, I don't remember that lesson ever yeah, so yet
another thing adoption took awayfrom me.
It took my gallbladder.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
So what's the recovery for that?
Look like, is it?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So it is not lifting anything over a gallon for I
think it was a couple weeks,okay, and then not lifting
anything or pushing or pullinganything over 20 pounds for six
weeks, and then it's also, youknow, watching what you're
eating and all this other stufftoo.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
So how understanding was your son about these
limitations?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
these limitations.
So, uh, he wasn't the happiestabout it, but the picking him up
had been getting less and lessas far as like how long I could
hold him for anyways.
So he, he dealt with it.
Okay, he did.
He did, luckily, like he wasn'thappy about it, but he didn't
cause tantrums or anything,luckily.
That's great.
I had no stretch marks oranything from when I had him,
but now I got these four funcuts on my tummy.
(08:55):
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
They sliced open my belly button.
That was one of the cuts.
I don't even know what thatlooks like anymore, oh my gosh.
That Friday, the 21st, June 21st, I had my surgery.
But that Monday I woke up and Ihad a stiff neck.
I'm like, well, I've got todrive my kid 40 minutes on 95 in
(09:21):
rush hour traffic to camp Great.
So I did that.
And then we stayed at a hotelfor a couple of nights and that
Tuesday my neck was still stiff.
That Wednesday, both sides ofmy neck were stiff and I'm like,
well, this is not good.
And then Thursday, the leftside of my neck then really,
really hurt.
I decided that I should get amassage.
(09:43):
I was like, maybe I'm superstressed about the surgery
tomorrow, Maybe I'm just like Ithought I slept wrong, but it's
continuing, so let's go get amassage.
Yeah, that didn't help at all.
And then I'm looking at my neckand on my left side couldn't
see my collarbone.
Whoa, that's how swollen myneck was.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Whoa, that's how swollen my neck was and you
could just tell between the twosides like that is wrong.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah.
So I left the massage and Iwent to the urgent care and by
the time I got there and seen itwas close to 6 pm and they said
you need to get an ultrasoundstat.
And I said, well, it's 6 pm,can't do that right now.
And they're like, well, thenyou need to go tomorrow.
And it's like funny story, Iactually have surgery tomorrow,
(10:34):
not for this.
So two weeks later I finallygot my ultrasound and there's
this thing.
I don't know if they have itthere.
There's probably somethingsimilar, though.
If not, it MyChart.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Are you talking about in Chicago?
Yes, there's.
Depending on your provider,there's an app that you can
access anytime that tells youeverything about yourself, if
you've had a recent panel oftests.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Okay.
So yes, that is very similar toMyChart.
So, mychart, it's great thatyou have access to all of this
stuff.
What's not great is that youhave access to all of this stuff
before you talk to your doctor.
Oh, it said that there was amass and I needed to get a
ultrasound of my chest.
Whoa Right, but what is thismass?
(11:24):
What are you talking about?
What do you mean?
I need to get anotherultrasound.
What is happening to me?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
So this all happened during 4th of July.
So I got the ultrasound andthen the next day my doctor was
like, well, before you move onwith another thing, let me see
you first.
So I went to see her.
So then the next day I was ableto get the ultrasound of my
chest done and that said that,thanks to my chart, said I
(11:54):
needed to get the next test done.
So I had to drive an hour and ahalf because it was the only
place that had availability andI was there for all of five
minutes for the test.
And then I got my results againon my chart.
Yay, and those results saidthat I needed a biopsy or a PET
scan.
(12:14):
And so it also had a voicemailfrom the on-call doctor.
And the on-call doctor saidcall me and let me know what
time we can speak.
And I said oh, okay.
So I call and the woman whopicks up on the after hours
thing which on weekends it'salways going to be the after
(12:36):
hours person picking up and Isay I'm looking to speak with Dr
So-and-so.
Well, what's this about?
Well, he sent me a voicemailthat said to call him and let
him know when I was available tospeak about the test results.
And she says well, it saysright here not to bother any
doctors about test results andyou can talk to him on Monday.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Great.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
And I said but he literally left a voicemail
saying let me know what time wecan talk.
So she's like, yeah, no, Ican't do that.
So I had to go through Saturday, sunday and then finally, on
Monday, speak to someone.
And I spoke to my doctor andshe's like well, you could do
the PET scan or we can just gostraight to the biopsy.
(13:18):
And I said, oh, biopsy.
She's like because, dependingon what the biopsy says, you'll
probably need the PET scananyways.
I said, great, so we went anddid the biopsy and my chart,
coming through once again, gotmy results back and I said this
does not sound good at all.
So I was able to talk to mydoctor.
(13:41):
Finally, I had to leave in themiddle of Minions not even the
middle, it was like 10 minutesinto Minions.
And I had to leave because Isaw my doctor was calling and
I'm talking to her out in thelobby of an AMC movie theater.
She's like so did you see mychart?
And I said yes.
And she's like did you do someGoogling?
(14:02):
And I said yes.
She's like what did you learn?
And I tell her some things?
And she's like well, that'sactually all correct, and so
it's a good thing that you didgo to the urgent care because
you do have cancer.
Oh my God, yeah, so that's beena journey.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So you have cancer.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yes, classical Hodgkin's lymphoma.
So I now have a hematologist.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
And the hematologist is a doctor who deals with blood
cancers, which I guess lymphomais a blood cancer.
Okay, it has a really high curerate, so that's a plus.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Cure rate that's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yes, and so I got the PET scan and it was in two
areas.
One was very large and he askedme at my follow-up he's like,
have you been having troublebreathing?
And I'm like yes, and he's likeokay, Because it's literally
pushing on the airway.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yeah, so it's like closing the amount of space in
the airway, is it?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
like shortness of breath or just hard to breathe
in.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
There was like pain or Like going up a flight of
stairs.
I'm winded.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Just gassed so.
So a care plan has been put inplace, which is chemotherapy,
and I had to have a port put in,which I'm very upset about it,
because they said that they wereputting the port in so that I
didn't have to get pricked withneedles all the time.
Well, every time I go to get mychemo through my port, they
stick me with a very big needlethrough the port.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Well, you can't trust doctors Meg.
No, they said you had back painand it was cancer.
Well, you can't trust doctorsMeg.
Yeah, they said you had backpain and it was cancer.
I mean, it wasn't it wasgallstones then, but it's
probable cancer was kind of I'mguessing it's not your
gallbladder went out and you'relike well, we got to replace the
mass somewhere.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
But what's interesting is what I've learned
about this is that the numbersof liver cancer spikes within
the first six months aftergallbladder surgery.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Fascinating.
I'm pretty sure liver cancer isa bad one to get.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yes, I don't need a second cancer coming up.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, no, he needs a second cancer that is that is
truer words have never beenspoken.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
So, provided all this chemo stuff goes well and
things go in the right direction, I should be done with chemo at
the end of January, which isright when my six months is up
for my gallbladder.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
So in a way it's almost preventative maintenance.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It's like getting an oil change.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, it's just like you know, know, this is going to
help a great many things todeal with this one thing.
So if we want to look at thepot of gold at the end of the
rainbow, that's.
That's the eternal optimistviewpoint on that, I guess.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Oh yes, I love it, love it.
So there's all different kindsof medicines that fall under
chemo.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
So I'm on four of them.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Vitamin C.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
You would think but no, that's a whole separate
thing.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
But three of them were set.
The fourth one, they wereundecided between two different
medicines and he's like well, Imean because this medicine works
better, but if you have afamily history and you carry it,
it can cause the autoimmunediseases to activate.
So what's your family history?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Oh my gosh, but, doctor, I am the great
Pagliaccio.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
So that's fun.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Love that for me, love that for you, love that for
them.
They're just like oh well, thiswill be routine.
Tell me about your parents and,like you, know what happened
when they were getting on in age.
Why are you just sitting theresmiling like this deep-water
smile?
What's happening right now?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Why are your eyes doing this twitchy and glassy
and I don't know what'shappening?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
You are full-on weeping right now.
This is the first question.
This is the easy one.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Did they die of an autoimmune disease?
What happened?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Just Elmo GIF shrug.
Just keep showing them that onewith every single question.
Oh, that's also a greatquestion.
Let me see what I have for that.
There it is.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Ma'am, you just showed me that.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Let's put it on the big board.
Let's loop it.
Can we loop that?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Great.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I'll just point, because I'm too weak to do
anything else Just in spirit,not in body, just in spirit.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
So what they decided to do about this.
Well, let me ask you what doyou think they decided to do
about?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
it.
So they had the option of thething.
That'll work, but it also couldwake up the scaries or they go
with something that's safer thatdoesn't work as well.
That's what the options were.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
They went with option B, I'm guessing.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
They decided to wing it and give it a try with the
one that works well.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
They have a diamond elite status at Mohegan Sun.
They're like let it ride.
We got big money on black.
It's been black all day.
Look at all those numbers inthe black.
It's going to be black again.
(20:12):
It has to be Okay.
How did you feel about that?
Did you have a say in yourpreference, or did they kind of
convince you that it wasprobably going to be fine?
Or was it just like, nah, nah,nah, we really should do this
one.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
It was basically.
This is what we're going to do.
Do you have any questions?
And I said I have so manyquestions, but none of them are
actually related to this.
Who are my parents?
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Good it's spread to the brain.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
How old am I?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Good, good, this is quite good.
These questions are good.
Where was I born?
All right, let's call thepsychoanalyst in here.
You might be staying the nightin a new type of resort, wow,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So I get asked very often if I have any numbness in
my limbs or tingling.
So I guess that's a sign.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
That's a sign of the perma-throst thawing.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's coming.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Okay, man, those glaciers, they're going away
quick.
Huh, what sweet hell liesbeneath.
We'll find out, or we won, whoknows, probably won't.
Hopefully won't speak it intoreality.
Nothing bad will happen everagain oh, that's not a phrase.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Adoptees understand.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
No, it's not Okay.
So ongoing process right now,yes, and is it a thing where
chemo gets introduced and thereare immediate effects for
relieving the symptoms and thecause, the symptoms and the
(22:15):
cause or is it we're going tohave to wait and see for a few
months to see what has beenaffected?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Good questions, so excuse me.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You just get to vomit in your mouth every 15 minutes.
Yeah, it's working.
The toxins are leaving my bodyevery 15 minutes.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
It's working.
The toxins are leaving my body.
Yeah, it's great.
So I never felt sick from thecancer, I mean, besides that
whole neck stiffness.
But you know what's weird?
When I woke up from mygallbladder surgery, no pain in
my neck, whatsoever, all goneGreat, and it stayed gone, not
like just because I was hoppedup on drugs, like it never came
(22:53):
back.
Besides that, never felt sickor hurt or anything from the
cancer.
I mean I couldn't really runwell, but I just thought I was
out of shape.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Yeah, yeah.
So then they give me thismedicine to get rid of the
cancer, and this medicine makesme feel really bad feel really
bad, like on a scale of that,that was a little bit too much
to drink last night, versushaving a child in your womb
that's developing in terms of,like quote-unquote, morning
(23:24):
sickness where's that morningsickness and I didn't throw up
from yeah, I'm drinking until Iwas in my 30s.
See, if you had just paced thisa little bit more and just had
the bad feelings, you wouldn'thave cancer.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I shoved it all deep down and I was good, Not deep it
was in your neck, you didn'tshove it.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Let's be fair.
You didn't shove it that fardeep, you shoved it to the side.
Oh, no, thank you.
You said you didn't say.
You said no, thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Just go over there Go will be honest, as horrible as
I feel at times, it's not as badas I thought that I would.
Good yeah, but I still feelhorrible, like the days after.
(24:26):
It's horrible, I'm tired, andwhat really sucks, though, is
for the first 72 hours after iswhen all of the chemo is leaving
your body.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So it comes out through, obviously, like urine
and saliva and stuff and all ofthat, but also through anything.
So through sweat, through tears, through whatever thing.
So through sweat, through tears, through whatever.
So my child can't like bearound me, but we've finally
(25:06):
flipped the weekends so thathe's with his father on my
weekends.
Where I am dealing with this Isyour child licking your
forehead?
No, but like hugs or whateverkind of stuff Like it's just
anything.
It's just too close with allthat, because apparently when
the chemo leaves your body, itcomes out 90% in its pure form.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Whoa, I didn't know that.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
So it's a nuclear bomb going off in a small town.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Okay, no-transcript, and just kind of like putting it
(25:59):
back in the hole in you thatyou have now.
I mean it's like all right, wegot still 90%.
Pure is pretty good.
Let's get back in there andlike just let's just recirculate
this until we're at 10% andthen we'll go get another dose.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
That would be great.
I wonder if we can look intothat.
Maybe that's something we caninvent.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I am positive, that's they've.
They've looked into it, they'vehad to.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Well, maybe they haven't figured it out yet,
maybe the people have not beensmart enough.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
We need smarter people in the world.
Let's go out yet.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Maybe the people have not been smart enough.
We need smarter people in theworld.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Let's go, not finding them here.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, how many rounds have they prescribed?
How many have you gone through?
So it's confusing to me becausea round is two doses.
So I have six rounds and 12doses, but I thought I was going
to have eight to 12 rounds.
I'm confused, but it looks likeit's only going to be six as of
(27:01):
right now.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I think so, but I get nauseous, and so what helps?
My nausea is eating.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Good.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Orange specifically is eating good, so orange
specifically right but, mostpeople lose like five to ten
percent of their body mass whenthey have chemo okay I have
never been heavier, except forwhen I've been pregnant.
I've been gaining weight.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
My body can't do anything right I was gonna have
a hot girl summer Cancer.
Well, okay, thanks doctor, weshould have gone with the other
option.
Obviously, it activated mylatent obesity gene.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I did have my two month pet scan.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
And clearly I must have not read it right, like I
read that there were thingsthere.
They were not as many things orthey were not as big things or
something, but he told me I'm inremission.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, great, yes, so woohoo, Congratulations.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
But he said we want to cure it.
And I said well, what's thedifference between remission and
curing, like what he's like?
Well, that's a good question.
And remission is when we can'tsee anything on the scans.
Curing is five years of notseeing anything.
Oh, okay, okay.
So how come, if I'm inremission, I have to do this
(28:43):
until January?
And he said well, we can't seeanything, but it doesn't mean
that it's not still there,lurking, waiting to grow bigger
again.
So though I never felt sickfrom the cancer, and though the
cancer is, as far as the eye cansee, gone, I get to continue
(29:06):
feeling sick for the next fewmonths.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Well, if things go well, that is, I think, an
appropriate toll to endure ifthings go in the direction of
being cured right.
Yes, I say this as a man, awithout cancer and B, having
(29:29):
just watched my wife throw upliterally every meal while our
daughter was gestating insideher for months.
So a real armchair, you'll befine, it's for the best.
It's just a little I can't eatanything.
I'm so sorry, meg yeah it is,you know.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I just wish I could have asked if this was in my
family history, you know?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Ah, but you know, they know, but you can't know,
right, I'm not allowed thatinformation.
You're not allowed thatinformation.
Man, I'm so glad that ourconversation is taking a turn
towards the things are lookinglike it's going to be okay, as
(30:32):
opposed to you're still workingon it.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, yeah, that that is a plus.
You know, I don't know, I don'thave any other PET scans
scheduled, so I'm not reallysure, like how they'll know, or
if we just finish up in Januaryand that's it.
I mean, obviously, you know, Iknow people go for checks every
you know however many months, orwhatever it is.
I just I'm like how are weactually going to check?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
yeah, if I start losing weight, is that bad?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
if I don't know, yeah , but you know I haven't lost
all my hair yet.
You lost some of it.
I have, I lost a lot of it, butlike now the cancer's gone and
now I'm going to lose all myhair.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
So I'm like this isn't fair.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
No, it's in.
The shaved head look is in.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
No, not for me.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Not for you, no.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
One of my best features was always my hair.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
It is great hair.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
I had deep resentment towards you because of it.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Right, everybody did yeah.
And now everybody's like, haha,look at you, go get your oil
changed.
Oh, look at you finally, butit's you know, it's supposed to
come back.
Everyone's like it'll come back, but it doesn't for everybody,
(31:57):
so it's supposed to come back.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, maybe you'll just be completely
unrecognizable.
Or you can buy a wig, I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Wigs are hot.
I have some, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You got like a bob.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I've got a long curly one.
I've got a short brown wavy one.
I've got two that are attachedto like headbands.
So that's cool, it's still hot,though.
I have one that's attached tolike a winter, like beanie hat.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Oh good, yeah.
Yeah, you have one of thosethat's like a ball cap and then
it's just like a real longmullet in the back.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Not yet.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Oh hot.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Keyword being yet.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
What a choose.
Your own adventure, yeah.
And so your son?
When you had to break it to him, did he understand the
implications?
Was it something that he's beenvery supportive for?
Is he kind of like oh you know,I still have to worry about
school and everything iswhatever?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
He's very much kind of everything is whatever except
about my hair.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Great.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
He keeps asking when I'm going to be bald.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Oh okay, he keeps asking when I'm gonna be bald.
Oh okay, well, at least he'sexcited about that, as opposed
to the possibility of it nevergrowing back again.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Oh, I think he'd like that oh, okay he seems to think
it's going to be hilarious whenI'm bald and he really wants to
see it and he doesn'tunderstand why I'm not bald yet
give it time, kid that'll be mybirthday gift to myself.
Yay, I don't know when mybirthday is, so my government
(33:42):
issued birthday myself.
Good god, yes, yay, so that'sbeen my health journey and
adoption.
If only we had that information, we wouldn't be rolling the
dice on so many things, butthat's the way it is for a lot
(34:02):
of us, I guess.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, that's yep, I mean it's.
I hope the doctors their guesswas educated, just looking at
the rest of your chart, seeingif there are any indicators of
any potential dormant things andthey were able to be accurate
with their prognosis and whatthey were doing with it.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
You mean my chart that says that I've been seeing
a neurologist since 2019 tryingto figure out if I have MS or
not.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
That's the one.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Yeah, guess it wasn't MS, just regular cancer.
Sweet delicious cancer God.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I just hope that in the future adoptees don't have
to go through this not knowingthing and we can really get some
better regulations going on.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah, for the longest time I had it as a sort of
badge of pride that I hadabsolutely no idea what could go
wrong with me, because I'veknown too many people who were
intimately aware of their familymedical history and were living
(35:19):
terrified just as time passed.
That does this mean?
Does this mean, while for myentire existence I've just been
like, well, maybe that's fine,or maybe it's not, who knows,
let's just see if we can writeit out?
It's always been okay, buthaving that option of this could
(35:42):
really fuck you up.
But you need it.
You could use it to get betterfrom this immediately.
It's just something that I hadnever really put any thought
towards as being so scary.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah, it was not a fun or easy thing to hear, and I
feel I think I was on theopposite side of the spectrum
from you.
Every little thing I gotworried about when I'd get
something wrong with me becauseI didn't know, I didn't know, so
I'd always be running.
And I think this time, though,it did come in handy, like okay,
(36:25):
I had a stiff neck, whatever,but I went, and they were able
to find it when it was stage onealmost stage two, I guess, but
still technically stage one.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Great.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
So that is my PSA, is that if you feel like there's
something that might be wrongwith you, just go check it out.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Run to the doctor say give me oxys and Get a
prescription for oranges, if youcan.
I am going to be texting all ofmy friends of East Asian
descent to just start every daypiling those vitamins into your
mouth and getting them downthere, because no one wants to
(37:06):
go through that sort of pain.
And, yeah, I'm glad you'refeeling better.
Well, no, you're feeling worse,but I'm glad that things are
looking better.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Right.
Internally they're lookingbetter, Not your hair.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Not your hair, gigantic girth.
The state of Connecticut isstarting to send letters about
the potholes down your street.
We deal with our sad feelingswith humor, da-da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
If you liked this episode of the Adopt Twins, I
urge you to pull over if you'redriving, or stop what you're
doing and take one minute totake out your phone and text
someone you know that you thinkwould also like the Adopt Twins.
Send them a text that says hey,I've been listening to this
podcast and I think you'd likeit.
Let me know what you think andsend them a link to the show.
(38:02):
Word of mouth is the best wayto spread the hilarity of the
Adopt Twins, so stop gatekeepingus and let someone else know
We'll catch y'all soon.
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