July 3, 2025 • 44 mins
From Romantic Misadventures to Devil's Advocate: A Deep DiveIn this episode, Tracey and Lauren discuss Tracey's recent foray back into online dating, detailing her experience with a date she dubs 'Megamind,' and the various red flags she encountered. They explore how romantic expectations have been shaped by movies and TV shows, touching on classics like 'The Notebook,' 'Speed,' and 'While You Were Sleeping.' The hosts also introduce a new segment called 'Devil's Advocate,' where they humorously defend outrageous statements. Pop culture references include 'Titanic,' 'Yellowstone,' 'Cheers,' 'Night Court,' 'Frasier,' and 'Love Actually.' Tune in for a mix of dating misadventures, pop culture deep dives, and comedic relief.Follow us on our socials! We love to hear from you!
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00:00 Introduction to Online Dating Woes00:21 The Hatfish Incident01:09 Texting and Initial Impressions01:43 The First Phone Call02:20 Planning the First Date03:33 Red Flags and Icks03:55 The Dinner Date Disaster06:44 Hyper Independence Debate10:29 Women's Rights and Final Straws13:59 Romantic Expectations vs. Reality20:27 Nostalgic TV Shows and Their Impact21:44 Family Role Models and Romantic Ideals24:26 Romantic Movie Tropes and Expectations30:16 Analyzing Toxic Romantic Behaviors35:07 Introducing Devil's Advocate Segment
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Like they should just make one app called What's Left straight
Facts. I'm well versed, I'm fluent in
online dating, but I took a break for a while and I figured
I'd dip my toes back in that Hocking water and murky water
mess that it is. And now I know why I stayed
away. Now I know and we'll call, we'll
(00:20):
call this one Megamind. It's the shape of his Dome, his
grape and it. And there's an impression it's
like boop. And I got Hatfish for part of
that because he looks real good in a hat.
No, not hatfish. He took that motherfucker off
and realized about. Pictures had a hat.
(00:42):
Out, yes, except one, except one, except one, except one.
And the picture he cropped, thathe cropped a bit, it was like,
right? Here you cropped it.
You know, look, I stayed away for a reason and now I know why.
So there was a good conversation, good in depth
conversation. We've hitting a lot of topics.
(01:03):
He was masking very well. I mean in retrospect now you
think he was masking? Yes 100%.
How did you perceive him when you were just texting?
I thought he was attractive, good profile, everything was
great. Swiped, we matched.
I sent him a message. I was the first one to send a
message. Gave him a compliment.
He was taken aback by the compliment.
(01:25):
He's like nobody ever gives me compliments and or nobody ever
texts first or nobody ever, you know, blah blah.
And I'm like OK, cool, cool. So immediately with putting me
on more of an elite. List.
Nobody ever does. This so that kind of, you know,
made me feel fancy and started texting.
Everything seems pretty good. He wanted to talk on the phone
and this is where it was. He was scheduling time.
(01:48):
He's like talking to you is important to me.
Oh. Catnip, right?
I was like, wow, that's great, that's for him.
But it feels good. And the conversation was we
talked on the phone for six hours.
So it flowed. It did, and interesting.
Romantic. He And that was another turn on.
(02:10):
There was no innuendos. There wasn't even a whisper
about a Dick pic. He didn't want to know my bra
size and there was all authenticconversation we had discussed
going and meeting in person sooner rather than later.
And I was I was excited because he took the reins on that.
That's not a thing either when you're in the you know.
(02:33):
Let me know ladies if you share this if you're on the online
dating. Scene or gentlemen?
Whoever. We want you to watch this too,
so we care about dating experience.
So I was excited. I was like, oh, he's planning
it. And that's a natural leadership
that I find attractive when it comes to the dating world.
(02:56):
I don't want to be in charge at work and then in charge in the.
Dating world anytime a man is like I too will do mental work
like yeah you. Will I love the taking the
initiative. It's great.
And, you know, I asked him just to give him like giving him a
little throwing of control. And I was like, is there any
expectations for wardrobe? And he was like, where would you
(03:19):
want what you want to be seen inOK.
And I don't that one took me fora loop.
So I was like, OK, homeless chicit is.
And he said you're a funny girl.This is where I am starting to
see red flags, yes. Personally, I still thought
there was banter. I I see why you think that, but
(03:40):
my tolerance for ick. Is starting till I click.
I can't do it. I like to almost look at them as
if they are an experiment. I wasted some time, but it was
very entertaining for me and I got dinner.
OK, so at this point we are going out to dinner.
We are wearing what we want to be seen in We are a Funny girl.
(04:02):
We're funny. And.
Where am I funny? Ha ha, my funny knee.
And Joe Pesci over here is not seeing any red flags yet.
I think because if it, when you hear the actual red flags, you
will now realize that those werepink flags.
Those were like, well, it's you.The red flags, yes, but that's
(04:23):
where your. Tolerance for this nonsense is
just higher. Yeah, and the benefit of the
doubt was doubting. I can do maybe a 5K intolerance
and you're out here training forhalf marathon like God bless.
Not me, I've run my 5K. Here's where he lost me.
Where would you want to be seen in SO?
(04:47):
Whatever the male gaze would like.
I think he was trying to portraya.
Like alpha, yes. And at that point you were like
still kind of into. It I kind of into it, you know
what I mean? Because he had, he had
catfished, hatfished you with his mastermind.
So you were still into the package?
Yes, he had not that package. But yeah, I think I'd not yet
(05:08):
seen him. This is, you know, we're still
texting. And like I said, all these, the
pink, pinkish red flags were peppered in by a lot of other
good things. And I was really good at that.
And then here we go for the date, go to the place he meets
me on the outside. I get out of my car, give him a
(05:29):
hug. First thing he says.
You're shorter than I thought. So basically the minute you got
out of this vehicle and this mancommented on your height, the
ICS had begun. They'd started to on a low
simmer. And so you called him an
experiment before. So is this.
(05:51):
Would we call this an ick? Experiment.
An expedition? An experiment?
Yes. An exploration, Exploration.
So at this point, it's science you're like.
Jane Goodall, I'm saying amongstthe apes, I.
Am a Jacques Cousteau of the Icks.
(06:16):
Deep sea ick diving. That was good, I liked it.
Deep sea ick diving. Fuck off.
How about deep ick diving? Deep ick diving?
No, because then they're going to say it's Dick diving.
What where's the lie? Works on a lot of levels.
You're. Welcome this bet.
(06:39):
So that's when this started. Let's I want raw data now just
lay out the it's give me the. So we had touched a little bit
while we were talking about, youknow, having that, being hyper
independent. Now my personal experience, I
put myself in a hyper independent role because I was
hyper dependent in my past. So I kind of course corrected.
(07:01):
Yeah, I'm proud of my independence.
He brought it back up. So you had said you were hyper
independent. You know that's not really
attractive to men, right? When women are hyper
independent? Tell me at this point.
You knew this is full on. Now I am.
I'm no longer in the romantic field with this person.
Now I'm in the the exploration field.
(07:24):
So you you stopped being that Lady from chimp love.
Yes, they wanted to hug and cuddle the chimp correct.
And you became the Jane Goodall and you're like, let me step
back and observe yes. What will this this?
Gorilla I was in field work. Bitch guy was writing notes.
OK, I saw this from a completelydifferent.
Perspective hit us with the data.
(07:45):
So I was like, what hyper independence is not?
Well, that's when you're you're that's when women are over
masculine. And that to a straight hetero
male like a hetero male. Did he say that?
Yeah. Hetero male.
Like a straight man. You know, it like annoys me that
he's like a little woke. Like, I get what you're.
Saying, and that is the thing. It was like he was like, I'm
(08:08):
good. He took me on a roller coaster,
bro. It was wild.
And I think it was, it was crazybecause then I was like, well,
why do you he's like, but not inyour way.
I think that if more women who had who are hyper independent
came at it from a a perspective like you, it would be a
different story. What perspective is that?
Where they built it out of necessity.
(08:29):
So he's like, it doesn't count because you're too poor.
I'm poor, You're poor. I'm poor or.
You didn't have a man to supportyou, so you had to resort to the
tragedy. That is hyper independent,
correct? Correct the eye, mouth, eye.
That's the what phase. So another ick I disclose what I
(08:50):
do for a living. What do I do for a living?
Tracy Prostitution. Whore.
She's a dog trainer. I'm a dog trainer.
You work with bitches. I do, and he says to me, oh,
that's such a womanly job. Women love animals.
People with souls love animals. People with they're empathetic,
(09:13):
love animals, compassionate people, nurturing people.
Also, OK, you know what, I'll give him this bear over man.
So maybe that's that was where he got that.
Oh, thank you for that, Segway Trace.
I discussed man versus bear and I said bear and he says that's
ignorant. Wait, He asked you and then I.
Asked him. OK.
(09:33):
And I, he was like, what? Like he'd never heard of this
before. Yeah.
He was like, well, that's reallyignorant because bears.
And then he starts listing off bears.
Species of bears. Bears beats Battlestar
Galactica. Did you go on a date with Dwight
Troot? Yeah, the look.
But yeah, anyway, so they started talking about species of
bears that, you know, if you came across a polar bear, you'd
(09:55):
be dead. Thank you.
But I'm like regardless, you areliterally proving my point.
Yeah. And he's like, well, I don't
think so. I think that's ignorant.
I think da, da, da, da, da. And then we started getting to
another talk. The word ignorant twice.
At this point you had completelyturned this man into an
(10:17):
experiment. Is Deli resistance of the
expedition this one? Excited.
I love it. It's literally makes my stomach
turn. This was the this was where I
showed him the door. So women's rights came into the
conversation, entered the chat OK.
From you or from him? From me.
Oh, 'cause this was on your. This was like your final.
(10:39):
This is my the final countdown. You're like, I'm going to bare
my teeth at this gorilla and seewhat?
Happened we're we're going to get into the heavy shit and see
where you're at and I did I'm. Getting tired, I got to Hulk
them out. We got to set some fire
underneath them and boy, that that did not disappoint me.
Women have too many rights, I think at this point, and it's
(11:00):
going to end up hurting them in the long run.
How's it going to hurt us? What rights do we not need?
Did you ask him that? What rights would he take away?
It's the the women not needing men as much and feeling and like
like almost like emasculated. Oh, so it's the hyper
(11:23):
independence thing he blames Thefact that we have our hyper
independence is because we have too many rights.
So this motherfucker said. But this whole test.
It's come to our attention that when you have, I'm going to
pretend you have all the opportunities of man because I
ain't that woke. But so when you have all the
(11:45):
same opportunities as us. You don't need us anymore.
The problem is you have too manyopportunities.
Do you hear yourself? Oh God can we text him and ask
his opinion on DEII? Would fucking love it.
Tell me why you can't get. Do you talk about DEI?
No, but now I'm like, yeah, and this is the fucking shit.
This is why I spend so much timewith this person.
(12:07):
This is why. You were behind enemy lines.
I was doing a reconnaissance mission.
The Lord's work. The Lord's work.
I was like, tell me more about that.
You are a. Whole.
And you are the entire problem. The entire problem, I mean, he
said it with his whole chest. The problem with women is you
don't need us, so we should takeaway your rights.
(12:28):
So you. Need us, So you do need us.
Was there any piece of you that was worried he would like wig
out? Like if you pissed him off?
No. I would say close.
The only time it became very kind of shaky was after the
women's rights thing when I was challenging him a little bit on
it and he was like, his voice went up a couple actives and the
(12:50):
fact that I acknowledged that, Iwas like, oh shit, you're
actually getting a little bit dysregulated.
You went by the enemy lines and then.
You were fucking mean, yeah. Oh my God, I'm talking about
backs getting blown out and thisbitch is harassing men to their
faces. This is the power of podcasting,
(13:13):
guys. It's the power of friendship.
It's the power of family. Do you think maybe you're being
too hard on him and your standards are just too high?
People are like what podcast is?This all of a sudden, I know,
right? It's freaky fucking Friday right
now. Fuck.
I mean, yes, I feel like they should be too high, but then how
did we learn to have the high standards?
(13:34):
Well, I was joking and I think. He's a piece of shit.
But in general, you're right. Where did we?
Learn Where did we learn those high standards?
From those high standards, that's a really good question.
Who made the out the blueprint? Where did we watch?
What movies? What shows, what things did we
enjoy growing up that kind of like, you know what we should?
Do fed us you know what we should do?
What have a podcast about? It Oh my God.
(13:59):
Where did we get like our standards?
It's like a really fucking good question.
Like, I think, you know, you've got the first thing that comes
to mind from our first or secondepisode, the Disney, You've got
Cinderella running off. She had the full bead on, got
the dress, had to go home at a certain time.
She might have had to feed her mice.
She runs down the stairs, loses a shoe, and this man finds her
(14:25):
shoe and searches the entire Kingdom to find a bitch that
wears the same shoe size Like what you're trying you're doing
the most. OK.
So what did we expect? We expected somebody to work
hard for our affection. Right.
What else did we? Expect to be chosen amongst the
masses of women. Chosen amongst them to be the
(14:47):
One, The One. The One is a big one.
Yes, we're all supposed to be seen among the masses.
The love of your life will present themselves in a very
neat, cute kind of way. None of my cute.
We're meeting, we're meeting. Oh
(15:13):
my God, oh man is. That like a car from the 50.
None of your cutes were meeting.None of my cutes were meeting,
none of my meats were cutie. I don't know.
OK, so did the one totally buy that?
That is what I thought it was gonna be.
Soul mates. Twin Flames.
(15:35):
Shining beacon of light and the sun comes out.
Bitch. There's a scene in the movie
West Side Story where they, like, see each other at the
dance and everything else, whichin the 60s, this was like a
visual fucking effect. Of course, they blur everything
out except for the two of them, and they just know love at first
sight. Yeah.
(15:55):
Yes, bitch, yes. Love at first.
Sight love at first sight expectation never been met.
Love Actually with that movie. Yes.
But now as an adult, I'm like, Oh my God, I'm rooting for this
motherfucker who's trying to steal his friend's wife.
But tell me that you don't want to literally open the door and
have somebody play music and have cue cards on what they're
(16:17):
saying. What?
But in real life I think I'd be like what the fuck?
Yeah, that's creepy. Like, I think that that's why
this was not a thing when I it was like a little bit when I was
in high school, but now it's huge, like promposals and like
asking people to homecoming. So for those of you that don't
have the pleasure of being adjacent to teens, they do like
(16:39):
a cute little promposal. I'm gonna toss you a football
across the hall and it says, like, will you go to prom all
the way to like, I'm going to come to your house and create
some sort of fish pond. And I bought all these goldfish
and I'm going to like, stand in it, I mean.
They're doing the most. They're performing what they
think romance is because that's what we teach.
We learn from like and I fuck with a ROM com of course, but
(17:02):
also like it is the same story is so ingrained.
So I'm trying to think like based on these like what do we
really want? So we want to feel chosen.
We want to feel. Seen amongst the amongst the
masses. Amongst the masses, Well,
because that's the other thing for so long.
And this goes back to Megamind too.
(17:25):
You have too many rights you need to let.
Some of them go, yeah, so like the whole Cinderella of it, all
right? Like, oh, we want to be picked.
We want to be the one. But that mentality, real talk,
that ball, we saw it as kids as like, well, it's so romantic.
They all want to be with the Prince.
That was a fucking job fair. Those ladies were in a job
interview. That was a fucking literally,
(17:47):
yeah. So if we take away their right
to own property, they'll have tomarry us again.
We'll be on top, yes. We'll be.
That that is why this narrative serves because if we feel,
because I can tell you right now, growing up as a girl in the
90s, every single girl was competition.
Like we'll think about it. We ate the fuck up like Top
(18:07):
Model and that kind of shit. And it was always like, how to
get him to notice you, right? That's like a headline.
Well, to notice you means how doI stand out amongst all these
other this crowd, right? Like how to be individual.
Try taking off your glasses. Have you tried contacts?
Have you tried taking a lower math class?
(18:30):
Have you tried waxing your entire body?
You took this like, old thing where it was like everybody
agreed, like, all right, I'm oldenough.
Now it's time to go out and seekmy fortune.
Will it be Jimmy or Johnny? You know what I mean?
Is it going to be a doctor, a lawyer, or Yeah.
And I feel like, OK, now I'm Galaxy branding, but like, I
(18:52):
feel like that's where like the whole kibosh on gossip came
from. Because you know, when these
bitches were having tea parties,they were all sitting around
complaining about their bosses and their bosses were their
husbands. The.
Press knows more about their oppressor.
Exactly. Always.
Always, because they have to know the enemy.
Yes. They have to know their next
move. That's a safety.
That's a survival instinct. Which is why we'll take the
(19:14):
bear, correct? Because the bear has much less
variety and what will happen before it was just like it is
just obvious you will marry someone like your old school
movies. That was the whole fucking plot.
I don't want to marry. You wrap it up in a bone well to
make us to make the package of what the what they want us to
do, to make it prettier, to makeit more palatable.
(19:34):
They make these Grimm fairy tales or these fairy tales for
little girls to watch and listento That marrying is what you
want to do. This is what you want to do.
But now it's like, will they or won't they?
So now we're under the false impression that men are going to
work hard to get us. This would be a really
interesting study if like the rise of the romantic comedy
(19:56):
correlated with like women getting more rights.
I would love to see the the graft on that where you have
like green of romantic ROM coms or the fantasy like this she
finds her Prince Charming and gets married and lives heavily
ever after versus. Women doing it for themselves
and. Where what's the timeline for
(20:18):
that and women's rights? Well, yes, because like, there's
a show called Cheers. Here we go.
What it is so? It Buckle up, we're doing it
again. It would it must be so formative
because it I literally all roadslead back to it.
(20:38):
All. Right, let's go occasionally
that they'll then bypass and endup at Night Court.
I love a night court. After a day at the bar,
sometimes you end up in night court.
And then sometimes a couple years later you get in a Fraser.
Tell me there's not boomer content on here.
It's for everybody. Everybody, everybody, Sam and
Diane, it was like a will they or won't they?
(20:59):
It wasn't just like Sam constantly pursuing her and
whatever. And she also was employed, but
by him. So it was OK.
In the 80s that was the only reason she was allowed to like,
talk back to him and cause a problem because ultimately he
was her boss. He had more power than her.
Well, right. And I think a lot of societal
parallels are in movies at that time.
(21:19):
But I think a lot of it has to do with what we are feeding
society, right? Why do what do we want the
masses to see? What do we want the masses to?
I believe. And when you think about the
good guys out there, who is the good guy who changed our mind
and put us on, put some of thesemen on pedestals for us to
(21:39):
literally put them next to the men we were dating?
OK, so I do want to acknowledge Family First because that is
formative as well. We had a grandpa that was
romantic. It's.
Fun. We love that about him.
We came across his love letters and I mean our grandma must have
been hard to get. She was black cat energy and
(22:03):
grandpa was definitely golden retriever.
Sure, which is so. So I wanted to like, acknowledge
that like, we did have a very strong role model in terms of
the way our grandpa treated our grandma.
And your dad also was very chivalrous.
Yes. Well, and he was a romancer.
We came across letters from him too.
Oh, he was. He was a Cox man.
(22:23):
This man was handing out roses. Like the bachelor bro.
Dude also. Pimp status.
We did have some good examples. We had some good, strong men in
our. Family allegedly I had a father
and allegedly he was not a good example but allegedly I knew
what the fuck to look out for. So I think that's also why my
(22:43):
like tolerance for ick is so lowbecause I'm like, I was not well
versed. In hand to hand combat with
narcissism. The megamind guy with his dump
truck ass is like the very firstlike battle you fight in like a
video game and I've beaten this game like 17.
Times right and I'm just on level 5.
(23:05):
And I just like, I think I just don't have the patience for.
It Oh God, no. You know the moves already.
But I listen, I would love it ifyou would FaceTime me next time
like I would have loved for you to record it.
Like I thank God you. I feel about you the way I do
about Bravo Liberties. Thank you for doing what I could
not. But.
I ask of you what I ask of them.Include you.
(23:28):
Let everything be on film so I can be involved quietly from my
bed. Like, well, how do you like, I
would have to do that secret like on the down low or I would
be like, hey, are you OK? If when I record this date, can
you sign this affidavit right here?
Tell him you're an influencer. Hey let me see your website.
(23:48):
I hate men.com, don't worry about that.
First of all, this bitch could never make a website and second
of all it would be on Geocities.Fair.
Oh hey dear, it's Mary Beth Mary's to Merryweather, lead
lady in charge of Women's Place Magazine.
Make sure to check out this month's issue with important
(24:09):
topics such as misogyny matters,He's just better than you.
And our cover story, feminism, It killed the ROM com.
And remember, Women's Place magazine is for a woman who
knows her place. All right, so besides our
family, I'm going to tell you I,I think I've talked before about
(24:30):
my love of a man who when a woman is like literally tied to
something, both times they're like literally handcuffed to
something. And they cannot leave their
trapped. And both times the men aren't
like well sucks to be you, they stay and like problem solve.
I mean your your multiple pointsto speed.
(24:52):
Speed. Yes.
Titanic. Titanic both jacks.
Both jacks, both hot. I mean, those were my guys.
Those were my guys. I mean, they're Keanu.
And speed was fucking hot, I think.
There was a general. I feel like we can point to a
bunch of movies where he has setthe bar too.
High Lake house. That guy worked hard.
He worked. So I mean, he put in the most
(25:15):
effort and it was it was like not even in his time.
Like where is she? You're in two different times,
and you were doing the you were.Because see, this is what
happens when you just talk online.
You romanticize them. He planted.
Oh my God, I can't. This is the type with Sandra
Bullock. Yes, Sandra Bullock.
We love her. This is becoming a Sandra
(25:37):
Bullock Stand podcast because we've gone off about Miss
Congeniality talking about the lake house.
If I can. Speed.
I'm going to take it to Sandra Bullock even further.
Sandra Bullock is the reason that I have high standards, Yes,
and not in her personal life. Bitch, she got done dirty.
You know where she doesn't get done dirty?
(25:57):
On the screen. Heartbreak feels good in a
place. Yes it does.
That silver screen does her right.
Sleep bitch. I was going to say sleeping with
the enemy. How Freudian have you are you
talking about? While you were sleeping, Bill
Pullman. Such a green flag, Green walking
(26:19):
green flag. Covered in them so for those of
you that don't know while you were sleeping because you've
been living under a. Rock or sleeping?
Or you're just like, young. Or you're like just young,
whatever. In Chicago, Sandra Bullock
plays. I say this with kindness, but a
sad sack. A very cute sad sack, but hidden
under a lot of sweaters. And she works for the Elle and
(26:45):
Peter Gallagher, an actor that you can Google.
Beautiful eyebrows. He's got epic eyebrows.
Epic eyebrows. Sandy Cohen from the OC same
guy. He's kind of a jerk, but he's
kind of nicer and she's has a limerance.
On it, yes. Do you want a limerance A1 way
crush? I believe, yeah, I think it's
like a like a obsession, but like unrequited.
Not like we're not stalking, no,But we're fantasizing, like
(27:08):
making up the relationship. In your head?
Yeah, this guy falls on the tracks of the CTA.
For those of you that don't know.
Not safe, not a good idea. Bonks his grape on the rail.
She pulls him off, saves him, you know, through hijinks and
mishaps. Rides in the ambulance with him.
HIPAA laws. Oops.
Anyway, she's now his fiance. Whoops.
(27:30):
The family's delighted. This man's in a.
Cult, they never knew, but they always wanted to meet.
They always wanted him. Peter, I think his name was in
the movie Good For You. Look at me.
Wanted him to meet a nice girl like you.
Bill Pullman's character is named.
The one who is the one who is another guy that has set the bar
too high. Green flag, man.
Call out your answers like it's Dora the Explorer.
(27:52):
Jack. I love a Jack.
Why? I don't know.
Let me tell you, this man thought he was dealing with.
I think it was just so perfect because he was kind of the
underdog. Like you didn't really want her
to be with the with Peter once you started to like get to know
this guy in a coma, right? Because he was so like full of
himself and whatever. And it was like, I think that's
(28:14):
what I liked because that got around my it's the nice guy
thing again. Yes.
Like I need like a nice guy. Like I don't want if you're too
full of yourself like I don't I don't trust it.
So like but the amount of shit this guy basically ate because
of how much he loved her and he saw her and he loved her for who
she was, which is not his. He gave her family like this
(28:35):
whole. Thing but what I enjoyed about
that movie too is that she had this this crush on this one
sided crush on Peter and seeing him every morning at the CTA
while he was putting his token in and you know, you know, sorry
eyes. This happens.
He's in the hospital and then she gets adopted.
Basically she gets adopted by his family under the guise of
(28:58):
being his fiance as she learns about the guy in the coma and
him being kind of a twerp like he was a kind of he's kind of an
egotistical dude. He wakes up and he changes
himself like he literally was like.
Well, he tries. He.
Tries, but I think what you knowat the end of the movie.
But that's so she. Still gets to be part of the
(29:19):
family because she falls in lovewith Jack.
It's a great movie. Well, and she's like, I don't
actually care about this anymore.
Like we don't have like. I now realize what I should
expect from a relationship like I've learned.
My fantasy is flawed. Yeah, and I don't need it
anymore. Like, this is what it really,
really feels like. So anyway, how can you top that?
(29:41):
Like, I wouldn't baby. Tracy's watching this stuff.
I'm like, this is my expectation.
You need to be Bill Pullman and you need to be any Jack in any
of my romantic comedies, please.And thank you.
Oh my God, that's fucking. Hilarious like these guys like
made you feel seen like it was like they they weren't just none
of these pay. Close enough attention, yeah, to
show that you were important. And did the mental work and
(30:05):
listened when like, listened to Sandra Bullock's stories about
her dad, like. Didn't just listen, heard,
listened and then acted on it. So I was thinking of one on my
end. What movie gave me, you know,
the green flag expectation, the bound, the standard for green
flag men. Trying to figure out who your
Bill Pullman. Right.
And I think it had to have been the notebook, Noah say more so
(30:34):
wasn't very wasn't it didn't have a lot of prospects.
Very. I mean face value is, I mean
there he's very attractive. Do you think I'm like finding a
pattern with both of us? I feel like we inherently, I
think I inherently trust like blue collar people.
Yes. Over like Peter, Like Rich,
(30:58):
Peter Gallagher. The execs always seem like
slimy, Yeah, and I think a lot of cases with a notebook it
there was not a need but an incessant want for each other.
Yeah. And because if she needed him to
be a provider, he was providing support, love and affection and
(31:20):
Blue, he was going to build her a house.
He was going to do all. This stuff, it was basically
like she was straddling that line between like, do I get, do
I take on this job of a marriage?
Or do I go for just do I live onlove?
Do I live? Love is going to come.
I mean, it's probably not going to be easy in a monetary way,
but it will be easy for the heart.
And I think to like as much as if we analyze it, we're like, he
(31:44):
wrote her 365 letters, yes. But like when you look at it
through the context of a movie and what that's what's so
screwed up too, is like these things go hand in hand.
Like we also accept like toxic versions of this shit because
we're still just looking for it.Because it's still living right
and free in our heads. Yes, like he taught us like 8
(32:06):
different layers of. Fucked up.
Oh my God. Yeah.
If anything triggers a response,like Oh my God, that's like him
or Oh my God, that's like Jack. Oh my God, that's.
But it's like, then you fill in the holes in your brain with the
fantasy of the movie, right? And you ignore the red flags.
Because like 365 letters, which is I believe something that he
did in the number. A letter for every day those I
(32:29):
mean, it was the work that was put through to that the thought
the. So in the context of that, like,
it's less creepy than like the fact that because we're out
there looking for that, you get 16 texts from a dude in a row
and you're like chasing me. Or oh, you're thirsty.
(32:52):
Yes, but they are kind of. I mean, 16 unanswered texts in a
row seems a little aggressive to.
Me, yes. But like the toxic way people
will read that is he's my know us the 365 letters.
Like look at all the effort he put in on the positive note to
expect like work and effort and to be seen and all that stuff.
But it was put in this like movie like package.
(33:14):
Yes, but then when it manifests in real life, like sometimes you
get like mistaken. You know what I mean?
Like, Oh my God, he he stays with me like even though I was
tied up. But like, wait, that should he
tie you up because then it's notthe same.
Was there even consent? You know what I'm saying?
Like there's a difference between like he'll do.
(33:35):
He can't rest until he has me and like, well, I said no, but
he just wanted me so badly and that's OK.
I was like, that's where it's going.
It's a damsel in distress. It's the he wants me.
So like it's the, the chaste behavior right where you're
writing these letters and you'reputting forth the effort.
Like, there's a scene, I'm not going to go in a diatribe, don't
(33:57):
worry, but there's a scene in Yellowstone where Beth shut the
fuck up, where Beth calls RIP and a baby.
I need you come home. And this mother fucker, in the
middle of doing his job as a rancher, turns the horse around.
Yes, he's on a horse and rides back miles to get to his car, to
come back to Beth. I mean like that instant I need
(34:17):
you and he's there. Yeah.
But the difference is, did you ask for it or did he tell you
needed it? And that's where the toxic line
is, like if you're creating a problem for me and then solving
it, or you're telling me I should be dependent on you when
I'm not asking. Correct.
And I think so many of us acceptthat because we can't
differentiate between the two. Between the two, yeah, because
(34:41):
it's our fantasy and reality kind of converging.
Disappointed that you don't looklike your favorite actress and
your favorite ROM com? Well, you should be feel bad
about yourself and buy this great new product called I'll
Have What She's having facial toner.
Don't ask what's in it. You won't get the leading man,
(35:02):
but you'll look like the leadinglady.
So we're going to try something new this these upcoming
episodes, a little segment related called Devil's Advocate,
because we play it a lot already, so we thought we'd make
a game out of it. So for today's Devil's Advocate,
we have this book shout out. This is a funny fucking book.
(35:24):
We were not paid to say that. In fact, we paid to say that.
It's called how to piss off men by Kyle crew.
I want to read some of these to you.
You want to deconstruct to how it would piss a man off but also
defend the man. At the same time.
Yes, because I would be known asthe male sympathizer, and this
(35:44):
one is the antithesis of that. This is good.
All right. You're so sassy.
Only girls are sassy. You just called him a bitch.
Why'd you call him a bitch? Oh man.
So you're calling him a lady andthat's not nice and that hurt
(36:05):
his feelings? I think that you could have
included some more gender affirming language.
I'm not trying to stop you from expressing your anger.
I'm a girls girl but that being said if you were to say Dick
like it's not going to make him feel like soft or like feminine
(36:26):
like he still gets to be masculine masculine in his.
Or you can call him a limp Dick.But see, once again, like,
that's ableist because like, there are what if he's actually
afflicted with that? Yeah, what if he has erectile
dysfunction? I mean, and what if he sends?
I mean, that's private. That's private information.
That's TMI. Then he doesn't have body
(36:46):
ontotomy. It's not his fault.
In his body, in his limpestick. His limpestick.
He can't control it. Like your mouth?
(37:15):
I mean, what if his body, his body works differently?
Like you're going to be taking areally mean shot.
At him. Good job.
Thanks. I love that you can do that so
easily. You're like, it was not easy.
There were a lot of mental acrobats happening in there.
Why I in my head I had to refuteeach one to myself before it
(37:35):
could go. On shit and you did it so
smoothly bro there was no essence of like it's my.
Hyper independence. It's like I have the machine at
in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with a gob stopper, and
it was like that was going on inyour head.
Yeah, every time you're answering.
That whole Chocolate Factory is going on in my head.
(37:57):
Fuck, I got you. I got you another one, OK?
You have the confidence of a much taller man.
OK, so that's funny because theydon't like to be short and they
don't like the insinuation that they don't deserve their own
(38:19):
confidence that they have. So really.
That was a 2. Pronged attack and it was an
observation about them that didn't have a compliment in it.
Not one, but like kind of did because she called you
confident. So like you're very off kilter
because you hate her, but she called you confident and you
liked that. It's very fucking confusing.
(38:41):
Literally fed him a turd coveredin chocolate now.
You want me to defend it? Yes, that's body shaming.
First of all. Like who?
Who wins in that scenario? Like all short men are being
hurt by this what you're saying.What if a child overhears you
say it and they're short? You're diabolical growth.
(39:05):
Hormones. Is that what you're advocating?
I mean, that's if you can live with saying that I could.
Fucking gold. I wake up every day and choose
to be nice. You really do.
I really do. You really do.
(39:27):
We might not keep doing that. I I can't it diabolical is the
only word I can think of that you I mean like that answer
should be studied. Keep going, this is.
So this is so much fun. Yes, OK, you look like you'd be
a slow runner. Oh my God, do.
(39:50):
You want to hear the context. I just can't wait to say it to
people. Oh.
My God, you look like you'd be aslow runner.
I mean bitch, I do too, but you know.
OK, say this to a man when you want him to leave at as soon as
possible. Speak.
I need you to take a hop, a skipand a jump the fuck out of my
face. OK, now you have to deconstruct
(40:15):
it and then I want you to defend.
It, well, I mean, isn't it obvious?
You. Have questioned his athletic
prowess and you've indicated it by looking at his body and only
they're allowed to look at our bodies first of all.
And if you do look at his body, you say 3 nice things.
You did it. You just made it a stone cold
(40:38):
observation that based on the way this motherfucker looks, I'm
going to make an assessment about your athletic ability.
That's literally what they do towomen on the daily basis.
Like you have Gray hair? I'm going to assume this about
you. You have a vagina.
I'm going to assume this about you.
You're you're a short king with the bald pat, with the receding
hairline. You don't look like you can kick
(41:00):
up dust real good. I was literally listing things
that you think about women and you're like, I'm just going to
roast a guy. Freaky fucking Friday.
This is why it's called. She went for the She went to the
OK devil's advocate read it to me one.
More time. This is great.
(41:20):
You look like you'd be a slow runner.
OK, So what if he is? What if he had cerebral palsy?
What if his brother had cerebralpalsy?
What if he used to get made fun of all the time growing up
because he used to be fat? Women experience this kind of
discrimination all the time, andit is astounding to me that
anyone would advocate that we just fight fire with fire.
(41:44):
That is like so not feminine, sonot what a woman should do.
Jesus would tell us to. Turn Jesus pure Symphony Keep.
Going. This is fucking amazing.
It's so easy. You make it look so easy.
These are fucking gold. Are those bowling shoes?
(42:09):
Bowling shoes. Bowling shoes is crazy.
It's wild, wild. Not bowling shoes, anything but
bowling shoes. Oh my God, where to begin?
Bowling is the least masculine sport.
It literally all I think is kingpin the fucking 3 hairs.
(42:34):
She's a kingpin. I just, that's all I think
about. It's hilarious as fuck Because
bowling is embarrassing. I'm sorry, I love to go bowling.
Bowling is fun. But those listen, there is not
enough people that bowl that could be like I can.
I've seen bowling shoes that arelike just look like gym shoes.
(42:54):
But that's not what most of us think of.
We think of the worst of the. Worst, a shiny cardboard black
or a red and white. This is why this is like Primo
because again, on paper you've said nothing wrong, but you've
(43:15):
said everything wrong. Like bowling shoes is like the
archetype for ugly shoes, Yes. Like the only reason you didn't
say clown shoes is because clownhas a negative connotation,
correct? But like low key, so does
bowling. But if you're a clown, you're a
fucking you're a disaster. Bowling shoes is like you're an.
Athlete. You're not even it.
You are. You're a wish version of a
(43:37):
fucking athlete with bowling shoes on.
I'm sorry. OK, is it my time to?
Shine shit, go for it. Yes, defend it.
I don't think that's very nice, because what if they are bowling
shoes and he got them at the thrift store and he doesn't even
know that they're bowling shoes,and now you've called attention
to it and now he's going to haveto think about it.
And then what if he goes to the local library because he's
(44:00):
homeless and he looks up on the Internet bowling shoes and reads
out like it's commonly used as apejorative, a negative, and now
he doesn't want to wear the onlyshoes he could afford?
Pitch. I don't know how you're doing it
or diabolic. I'm trying to figure out how
you're playing it so well. You're defending it like a
fucking a class lawyer and you switch gears so quickly.
(44:25):
Put me on Traders season 5. Call Phaedra Parks.
Like they should just make one app called What's Left straight
Facts. I'm well versed, I'm fluent in
online dating, but I took a break for a while and I figured
I'd dip my toes back in that Hocking water and murky water
mess that it is. And now I know why I stayed
away. Now I know and we'll call, we'll
(00:20):
call this one Megamind. It's the shape of his Dome, his
grape and it. And there's an impression it's
like boop. And I got Hatfish for part of
that because he looks real good in a hat.
No, not hatfish. He took that motherfucker off
and realized about. Pictures had a hat.
(00:42):
Out, yes, except one, except one, except one, except one.
And the picture he cropped, thathe cropped a bit, it was like,
right? Here you cropped it.
You know, look, I stayed away for a reason and now I know why.
So there was a good conversation, good in depth
conversation. We've hitting a lot of topics.
(01:03):
He was masking very well. I mean in retrospect now you
think he was masking? Yes 100%.
How did you perceive him when you were just texting?
I thought he was attractive, good profile, everything was
great. Swiped, we matched.
I sent him a message. I was the first one to send a
message. Gave him a compliment.
He was taken aback by the compliment.
(01:25):
He's like nobody ever gives me compliments and or nobody ever
texts first or nobody ever, you know, blah blah.
And I'm like OK, cool, cool. So immediately with putting me
on more of an elite. List.
Nobody ever does. This so that kind of, you know,
made me feel fancy and started texting.
Everything seems pretty good. He wanted to talk on the phone
and this is where it was. He was scheduling time.
(01:48):
He's like talking to you is important to me.
Oh. Catnip, right?
I was like, wow, that's great, that's for him.
But it feels good. And the conversation was we
talked on the phone for six hours.
So it flowed. It did, and interesting.
Romantic. He And that was another turn on.
(02:10):
There was no innuendos. There wasn't even a whisper
about a Dick pic. He didn't want to know my bra
size and there was all authenticconversation we had discussed
going and meeting in person sooner rather than later.
And I was I was excited because he took the reins on that.
That's not a thing either when you're in the you know.
(02:33):
Let me know ladies if you share this if you're on the online
dating. Scene or gentlemen?
Whoever. We want you to watch this too,
so we care about dating experience.
So I was excited. I was like, oh, he's planning
it. And that's a natural leadership
that I find attractive when it comes to the dating world.
(02:56):
I don't want to be in charge at work and then in charge in the.
Dating world anytime a man is like I too will do mental work
like yeah you. Will I love the taking the
initiative. It's great.
And, you know, I asked him just to give him like giving him a
little throwing of control. And I was like, is there any
expectations for wardrobe? And he was like, where would you
(03:19):
want what you want to be seen inOK.
And I don't that one took me fora loop.
So I was like, OK, homeless chicit is.
And he said you're a funny girl.This is where I am starting to
see red flags, yes. Personally, I still thought
there was banter. I I see why you think that, but
(03:40):
my tolerance for ick. Is starting till I click.
I can't do it. I like to almost look at them as
if they are an experiment. I wasted some time, but it was
very entertaining for me and I got dinner.
OK, so at this point we are going out to dinner.
We are wearing what we want to be seen in We are a Funny girl.
(04:02):
We're funny. And.
Where am I funny? Ha ha, my funny knee.
And Joe Pesci over here is not seeing any red flags yet.
I think because if it, when you hear the actual red flags, you
will now realize that those werepink flags.
Those were like, well, it's you.The red flags, yes, but that's
(04:23):
where your. Tolerance for this nonsense is
just higher. Yeah, and the benefit of the
doubt was doubting. I can do maybe a 5K intolerance
and you're out here training forhalf marathon like God bless.
Not me, I've run my 5K. Here's where he lost me.
Where would you want to be seen in SO?
(04:47):
Whatever the male gaze would like.
I think he was trying to portraya.
Like alpha, yes. And at that point you were like
still kind of into. It I kind of into it, you know
what I mean? Because he had, he had
catfished, hatfished you with his mastermind.
So you were still into the package?
Yes, he had not that package. But yeah, I think I'd not yet
(05:08):
seen him. This is, you know, we're still
texting. And like I said, all these, the
pink, pinkish red flags were peppered in by a lot of other
good things. And I was really good at that.
And then here we go for the date, go to the place he meets
me on the outside. I get out of my car, give him a
(05:29):
hug. First thing he says.
You're shorter than I thought. So basically the minute you got
out of this vehicle and this mancommented on your height, the
ICS had begun. They'd started to on a low
simmer. And so you called him an
experiment before. So is this.
(05:51):
Would we call this an ick? Experiment.
An expedition? An experiment?
Yes. An exploration, Exploration.
So at this point, it's science you're like.
Jane Goodall, I'm saying amongstthe apes, I.
Am a Jacques Cousteau of the Icks.
(06:16):
Deep sea ick diving. That was good, I liked it.
Deep sea ick diving. Fuck off.
How about deep ick diving? Deep ick diving?
No, because then they're going to say it's Dick diving.
What where's the lie? Works on a lot of levels.
You're. Welcome this bet.
(06:39):
So that's when this started. Let's I want raw data now just
lay out the it's give me the. So we had touched a little bit
while we were talking about, youknow, having that, being hyper
independent. Now my personal experience, I
put myself in a hyper independent role because I was
hyper dependent in my past. So I kind of course corrected.
(07:01):
Yeah, I'm proud of my independence.
He brought it back up. So you had said you were hyper
independent. You know that's not really
attractive to men, right? When women are hyper
independent? Tell me at this point.
You knew this is full on. Now I am.
I'm no longer in the romantic field with this person.
Now I'm in the the exploration field.
(07:24):
So you you stopped being that Lady from chimp love.
Yes, they wanted to hug and cuddle the chimp correct.
And you became the Jane Goodall and you're like, let me step
back and observe yes. What will this this?
Gorilla I was in field work. Bitch guy was writing notes.
OK, I saw this from a completelydifferent.
Perspective hit us with the data.
(07:45):
So I was like, what hyper independence is not?
Well, that's when you're you're that's when women are over
masculine. And that to a straight hetero
male like a hetero male. Did he say that?
Yeah. Hetero male.
Like a straight man. You know, it like annoys me that
he's like a little woke. Like, I get what you're.
Saying, and that is the thing. It was like he was like, I'm
(08:08):
good. He took me on a roller coaster,
bro. It was wild.
And I think it was, it was crazybecause then I was like, well,
why do you he's like, but not inyour way.
I think that if more women who had who are hyper independent
came at it from a a perspective like you, it would be a
different story. What perspective is that?
Where they built it out of necessity.
(08:29):
So he's like, it doesn't count because you're too poor.
I'm poor, You're poor. I'm poor or.
You didn't have a man to supportyou, so you had to resort to the
tragedy. That is hyper independent,
correct? Correct the eye, mouth, eye.
That's the what phase. So another ick I disclose what I
(08:50):
do for a living. What do I do for a living?
Tracy Prostitution. Whore.
She's a dog trainer. I'm a dog trainer.
You work with bitches. I do, and he says to me, oh,
that's such a womanly job. Women love animals.
People with souls love animals. People with they're empathetic,
(09:13):
love animals, compassionate people, nurturing people.
Also, OK, you know what, I'll give him this bear over man.
So maybe that's that was where he got that.
Oh, thank you for that, Segway Trace.
I discussed man versus bear and I said bear and he says that's
ignorant. Wait, He asked you and then I.
Asked him. OK.
(09:33):
And I, he was like, what? Like he'd never heard of this
before. Yeah.
He was like, well, that's reallyignorant because bears.
And then he starts listing off bears.
Species of bears. Bears beats Battlestar
Galactica. Did you go on a date with Dwight
Troot? Yeah, the look.
But yeah, anyway, so they started talking about species of
bears that, you know, if you came across a polar bear, you'd
(09:55):
be dead. Thank you.
But I'm like regardless, you areliterally proving my point.
Yeah. And he's like, well, I don't
think so. I think that's ignorant.
I think da, da, da, da, da. And then we started getting to
another talk. The word ignorant twice.
At this point you had completelyturned this man into an
(10:17):
experiment. Is Deli resistance of the
expedition this one? Excited.
I love it. It's literally makes my stomach
turn. This was the this was where I
showed him the door. So women's rights came into the
conversation, entered the chat OK.
From you or from him? From me.
Oh, 'cause this was on your. This was like your final.
(10:39):
This is my the final countdown. You're like, I'm going to bare
my teeth at this gorilla and seewhat?
Happened we're we're going to get into the heavy shit and see
where you're at and I did I'm. Getting tired, I got to Hulk
them out. We got to set some fire
underneath them and boy, that that did not disappoint me.
Women have too many rights, I think at this point, and it's
(11:00):
going to end up hurting them in the long run.
How's it going to hurt us? What rights do we not need?
Did you ask him that? What rights would he take away?
It's the the women not needing men as much and feeling and like
like almost like emasculated. Oh, so it's the hyper
(11:23):
independence thing he blames Thefact that we have our hyper
independence is because we have too many rights.
So this motherfucker said. But this whole test.
It's come to our attention that when you have, I'm going to
pretend you have all the opportunities of man because I
ain't that woke. But so when you have all the
(11:45):
same opportunities as us. You don't need us anymore.
The problem is you have too manyopportunities.
Do you hear yourself? Oh God can we text him and ask
his opinion on DEII? Would fucking love it.
Tell me why you can't get. Do you talk about DEI?
No, but now I'm like, yeah, and this is the fucking shit.
This is why I spend so much timewith this person.
(12:07):
This is why. You were behind enemy lines.
I was doing a reconnaissance mission.
The Lord's work. The Lord's work.
I was like, tell me more about that.
You are a. Whole.
And you are the entire problem. The entire problem, I mean, he
said it with his whole chest. The problem with women is you
don't need us, so we should takeaway your rights.
(12:28):
So you. Need us, So you do need us.
Was there any piece of you that was worried he would like wig
out? Like if you pissed him off?
No. I would say close.
The only time it became very kind of shaky was after the
women's rights thing when I was challenging him a little bit on
it and he was like, his voice went up a couple actives and the
(12:50):
fact that I acknowledged that, Iwas like, oh shit, you're
actually getting a little bit dysregulated.
You went by the enemy lines and then.
You were fucking mean, yeah. Oh my God, I'm talking about
backs getting blown out and thisbitch is harassing men to their
faces. This is the power of podcasting,
(13:13):
guys. It's the power of friendship.
It's the power of family. Do you think maybe you're being
too hard on him and your standards are just too high?
People are like what podcast is?This all of a sudden, I know,
right? It's freaky fucking Friday right
now. Fuck.
I mean, yes, I feel like they should be too high, but then how
did we learn to have the high standards?
(13:34):
Well, I was joking and I think. He's a piece of shit.
But in general, you're right. Where did we?
Learn Where did we learn those high standards?
From those high standards, that's a really good question.
Who made the out the blueprint? Where did we watch?
What movies? What shows, what things did we
enjoy growing up that kind of like, you know what we should?
Do fed us you know what we should do?
What have a podcast about? It Oh my God.
(13:59):
Where did we get like our standards?
It's like a really fucking good question.
Like, I think, you know, you've got the first thing that comes
to mind from our first or secondepisode, the Disney, You've got
Cinderella running off. She had the full bead on, got
the dress, had to go home at a certain time.
She might have had to feed her mice.
She runs down the stairs, loses a shoe, and this man finds her
(14:25):
shoe and searches the entire Kingdom to find a bitch that
wears the same shoe size Like what you're trying you're doing
the most. OK.
So what did we expect? We expected somebody to work
hard for our affection. Right.
What else did we? Expect to be chosen amongst the
masses of women. Chosen amongst them to be the
(14:47):
One, The One. The One is a big one.
Yes, we're all supposed to be seen among the masses.
The love of your life will present themselves in a very
neat, cute kind of way. None of my cute.
We're meeting, we're meeting. Oh
(15:13):
my God, oh man is. That like a car from the 50.
None of your cutes were meeting.None of my cutes were meeting,
none of my meats were cutie. I don't know.
OK, so did the one totally buy that?
That is what I thought it was gonna be.
Soul mates. Twin Flames.
(15:35):
Shining beacon of light and the sun comes out.
Bitch. There's a scene in the movie
West Side Story where they, like, see each other at the
dance and everything else, whichin the 60s, this was like a
visual fucking effect. Of course, they blur everything
out except for the two of them, and they just know love at first
sight. Yeah.
(15:55):
Yes, bitch, yes. Love at first.
Sight love at first sight expectation never been met.
Love Actually with that movie. Yes.
But now as an adult, I'm like, Oh my God, I'm rooting for this
motherfucker who's trying to steal his friend's wife.
But tell me that you don't want to literally open the door and
have somebody play music and have cue cards on what they're
(16:17):
saying. What?
But in real life I think I'd be like what the fuck?
Yeah, that's creepy. Like, I think that that's why
this was not a thing when I it was like a little bit when I was
in high school, but now it's huge, like promposals and like
asking people to homecoming. So for those of you that don't
have the pleasure of being adjacent to teens, they do like
(16:39):
a cute little promposal. I'm gonna toss you a football
across the hall and it says, like, will you go to prom all
the way to like, I'm going to come to your house and create
some sort of fish pond. And I bought all these goldfish
and I'm going to like, stand in it, I mean.
They're doing the most. They're performing what they
think romance is because that's what we teach.
We learn from like and I fuck with a ROM com of course, but
(17:02):
also like it is the same story is so ingrained.
So I'm trying to think like based on these like what do we
really want? So we want to feel chosen.
We want to feel. Seen amongst the amongst the
masses. Amongst the masses, Well,
because that's the other thing for so long.
And this goes back to Megamind too.
(17:25):
You have too many rights you need to let.
Some of them go, yeah, so like the whole Cinderella of it, all
right? Like, oh, we want to be picked.
We want to be the one. But that mentality, real talk,
that ball, we saw it as kids as like, well, it's so romantic.
They all want to be with the Prince.
That was a fucking job fair. Those ladies were in a job
interview. That was a fucking literally,
(17:47):
yeah. So if we take away their right
to own property, they'll have tomarry us again.
We'll be on top, yes. We'll be.
That that is why this narrative serves because if we feel,
because I can tell you right now, growing up as a girl in the
90s, every single girl was competition.
Like we'll think about it. We ate the fuck up like Top
(18:07):
Model and that kind of shit. And it was always like, how to
get him to notice you, right? That's like a headline.
Well, to notice you means how doI stand out amongst all these
other this crowd, right? Like how to be individual.
Try taking off your glasses. Have you tried contacts?
Have you tried taking a lower math class?
(18:30):
Have you tried waxing your entire body?
You took this like, old thing where it was like everybody
agreed, like, all right, I'm oldenough.
Now it's time to go out and seekmy fortune.
Will it be Jimmy or Johnny? You know what I mean?
Is it going to be a doctor, a lawyer, or Yeah.
And I feel like, OK, now I'm Galaxy branding, but like, I
(18:52):
feel like that's where like the whole kibosh on gossip came
from. Because you know, when these
bitches were having tea parties,they were all sitting around
complaining about their bosses and their bosses were their
husbands. The.
Press knows more about their oppressor.
Exactly. Always.
Always, because they have to know the enemy.
Yes. They have to know their next
move. That's a safety.
That's a survival instinct. Which is why we'll take the
(19:14):
bear, correct? Because the bear has much less
variety and what will happen before it was just like it is
just obvious you will marry someone like your old school
movies. That was the whole fucking plot.
I don't want to marry. You wrap it up in a bone well to
make us to make the package of what the what they want us to
do, to make it prettier, to makeit more palatable.
(19:34):
They make these Grimm fairy tales or these fairy tales for
little girls to watch and listento That marrying is what you
want to do. This is what you want to do.
But now it's like, will they or won't they?
So now we're under the false impression that men are going to
work hard to get us. This would be a really
interesting study if like the rise of the romantic comedy
(19:56):
correlated with like women getting more rights.
I would love to see the the graft on that where you have
like green of romantic ROM coms or the fantasy like this she
finds her Prince Charming and gets married and lives heavily
ever after versus. Women doing it for themselves
and. Where what's the timeline for
(20:18):
that and women's rights? Well, yes, because like, there's
a show called Cheers. Here we go.
What it is so? It Buckle up, we're doing it
again. It would it must be so formative
because it I literally all roadslead back to it.
(20:38):
All. Right, let's go occasionally
that they'll then bypass and endup at Night Court.
I love a night court. After a day at the bar,
sometimes you end up in night court.
And then sometimes a couple years later you get in a Fraser.
Tell me there's not boomer content on here.
It's for everybody. Everybody, everybody, Sam and
Diane, it was like a will they or won't they?
(20:59):
It wasn't just like Sam constantly pursuing her and
whatever. And she also was employed, but
by him. So it was OK.
In the 80s that was the only reason she was allowed to like,
talk back to him and cause a problem because ultimately he
was her boss. He had more power than her.
Well, right. And I think a lot of societal
parallels are in movies at that time.
(21:19):
But I think a lot of it has to do with what we are feeding
society, right? Why do what do we want the
masses to see? What do we want the masses to?
I believe. And when you think about the
good guys out there, who is the good guy who changed our mind
and put us on, put some of thesemen on pedestals for us to
(21:39):
literally put them next to the men we were dating?
OK, so I do want to acknowledge Family First because that is
formative as well. We had a grandpa that was
romantic. It's.
Fun. We love that about him.
We came across his love letters and I mean our grandma must have
been hard to get. She was black cat energy and
(22:03):
grandpa was definitely golden retriever.
Sure, which is so. So I wanted to like, acknowledge
that like, we did have a very strong role model in terms of
the way our grandpa treated our grandma.
And your dad also was very chivalrous.
Yes. Well, and he was a romancer.
We came across letters from him too.
Oh, he was. He was a Cox man.
(22:23):
This man was handing out roses. Like the bachelor bro.
Dude also. Pimp status.
We did have some good examples. We had some good, strong men in
our. Family allegedly I had a father
and allegedly he was not a good example but allegedly I knew
what the fuck to look out for. So I think that's also why my
(22:43):
like tolerance for ick is so lowbecause I'm like, I was not well
versed. In hand to hand combat with
narcissism. The megamind guy with his dump
truck ass is like the very firstlike battle you fight in like a
video game and I've beaten this game like 17.
Times right and I'm just on level 5.
(23:05):
And I just like, I think I just don't have the patience for.
It Oh God, no. You know the moves already.
But I listen, I would love it ifyou would FaceTime me next time
like I would have loved for you to record it.
Like I thank God you. I feel about you the way I do
about Bravo Liberties. Thank you for doing what I could
not. But.
I ask of you what I ask of them.Include you.
(23:28):
Let everything be on film so I can be involved quietly from my
bed. Like, well, how do you like, I
would have to do that secret like on the down low or I would
be like, hey, are you OK? If when I record this date, can
you sign this affidavit right here?
Tell him you're an influencer. Hey let me see your website.
(23:48):
I hate men.com, don't worry about that.
First of all, this bitch could never make a website and second
of all it would be on Geocities.Fair.
Oh hey dear, it's Mary Beth Mary's to Merryweather, lead
lady in charge of Women's Place Magazine.
Make sure to check out this month's issue with important
(24:09):
topics such as misogyny matters,He's just better than you.
And our cover story, feminism, It killed the ROM com.
And remember, Women's Place magazine is for a woman who
knows her place. All right, so besides our
family, I'm going to tell you I,I think I've talked before about
(24:30):
my love of a man who when a woman is like literally tied to
something, both times they're like literally handcuffed to
something. And they cannot leave their
trapped. And both times the men aren't
like well sucks to be you, they stay and like problem solve.
I mean your your multiple pointsto speed.
(24:52):
Speed. Yes.
Titanic. Titanic both jacks.
Both jacks, both hot. I mean, those were my guys.
Those were my guys. I mean, they're Keanu.
And speed was fucking hot, I think.
There was a general. I feel like we can point to a
bunch of movies where he has setthe bar too.
High Lake house. That guy worked hard.
He worked. So I mean, he put in the most
(25:15):
effort and it was it was like not even in his time.
Like where is she? You're in two different times,
and you were doing the you were.Because see, this is what
happens when you just talk online.
You romanticize them. He planted.
Oh my God, I can't. This is the type with Sandra
Bullock. Yes, Sandra Bullock.
We love her. This is becoming a Sandra
(25:37):
Bullock Stand podcast because we've gone off about Miss
Congeniality talking about the lake house.
If I can. Speed.
I'm going to take it to Sandra Bullock even further.
Sandra Bullock is the reason that I have high standards, Yes,
and not in her personal life. Bitch, she got done dirty.
You know where she doesn't get done dirty?
(25:57):
On the screen. Heartbreak feels good in a
place. Yes it does.
That silver screen does her right.
Sleep bitch. I was going to say sleeping with
the enemy. How Freudian have you are you
talking about? While you were sleeping, Bill
Pullman. Such a green flag, Green walking
(26:19):
green flag. Covered in them so for those of
you that don't know while you were sleeping because you've
been living under a. Rock or sleeping?
Or you're just like, young. Or you're like just young,
whatever. In Chicago, Sandra Bullock
plays. I say this with kindness, but a
sad sack. A very cute sad sack, but hidden
under a lot of sweaters. And she works for the Elle and
(26:45):
Peter Gallagher, an actor that you can Google.
Beautiful eyebrows. He's got epic eyebrows.
Epic eyebrows. Sandy Cohen from the OC same
guy. He's kind of a jerk, but he's
kind of nicer and she's has a limerance.
On it, yes. Do you want a limerance A1 way
crush? I believe, yeah, I think it's
like a like a obsession, but like unrequited.
Not like we're not stalking, no,But we're fantasizing, like
(27:08):
making up the relationship. In your head?
Yeah, this guy falls on the tracks of the CTA.
For those of you that don't know.
Not safe, not a good idea. Bonks his grape on the rail.
She pulls him off, saves him, you know, through hijinks and
mishaps. Rides in the ambulance with him.
HIPAA laws. Oops.
Anyway, she's now his fiance. Whoops.
(27:30):
The family's delighted. This man's in a.
Cult, they never knew, but they always wanted to meet.
They always wanted him. Peter, I think his name was in
the movie Good For You. Look at me.
Wanted him to meet a nice girl like you.
Bill Pullman's character is named.
The one who is the one who is another guy that has set the bar
too high. Green flag, man.
Call out your answers like it's Dora the Explorer.
(27:52):
Jack. I love a Jack.
Why? I don't know.
Let me tell you, this man thought he was dealing with.
I think it was just so perfect because he was kind of the
underdog. Like you didn't really want her
to be with the with Peter once you started to like get to know
this guy in a coma, right? Because he was so like full of
himself and whatever. And it was like, I think that's
(28:14):
what I liked because that got around my it's the nice guy
thing again. Yes.
Like I need like a nice guy. Like I don't want if you're too
full of yourself like I don't I don't trust it.
So like but the amount of shit this guy basically ate because
of how much he loved her and he saw her and he loved her for who
she was, which is not his. He gave her family like this
(28:35):
whole. Thing but what I enjoyed about
that movie too is that she had this this crush on this one
sided crush on Peter and seeing him every morning at the CTA
while he was putting his token in and you know, you know, sorry
eyes. This happens.
He's in the hospital and then she gets adopted.
Basically she gets adopted by his family under the guise of
(28:58):
being his fiance as she learns about the guy in the coma and
him being kind of a twerp like he was a kind of he's kind of an
egotistical dude. He wakes up and he changes
himself like he literally was like.
Well, he tries. He.
Tries, but I think what you knowat the end of the movie.
But that's so she. Still gets to be part of the
(29:19):
family because she falls in lovewith Jack.
It's a great movie. Well, and she's like, I don't
actually care about this anymore.
Like we don't have like. I now realize what I should
expect from a relationship like I've learned.
My fantasy is flawed. Yeah, and I don't need it
anymore. Like, this is what it really,
really feels like. So anyway, how can you top that?
(29:41):
Like, I wouldn't baby. Tracy's watching this stuff.
I'm like, this is my expectation.
You need to be Bill Pullman and you need to be any Jack in any
of my romantic comedies, please.And thank you.
Oh my God, that's fucking. Hilarious like these guys like
made you feel seen like it was like they they weren't just none
of these pay. Close enough attention, yeah, to
show that you were important. And did the mental work and
(30:05):
listened when like, listened to Sandra Bullock's stories about
her dad, like. Didn't just listen, heard,
listened and then acted on it. So I was thinking of one on my
end. What movie gave me, you know,
the green flag expectation, the bound, the standard for green
flag men. Trying to figure out who your
Bill Pullman. Right.
And I think it had to have been the notebook, Noah say more so
(30:34):
wasn't very wasn't it didn't have a lot of prospects.
Very. I mean face value is, I mean
there he's very attractive. Do you think I'm like finding a
pattern with both of us? I feel like we inherently, I
think I inherently trust like blue collar people.
Yes. Over like Peter, Like Rich,
(30:58):
Peter Gallagher. The execs always seem like
slimy, Yeah, and I think a lot of cases with a notebook it
there was not a need but an incessant want for each other.
Yeah. And because if she needed him to
be a provider, he was providing support, love and affection and
(31:20):
Blue, he was going to build her a house.
He was going to do all. This stuff, it was basically
like she was straddling that line between like, do I get, do
I take on this job of a marriage?
Or do I go for just do I live onlove?
Do I live? Love is going to come.
I mean, it's probably not going to be easy in a monetary way,
but it will be easy for the heart.
And I think to like as much as if we analyze it, we're like, he
(31:44):
wrote her 365 letters, yes. But like when you look at it
through the context of a movie and what that's what's so
screwed up too, is like these things go hand in hand.
Like we also accept like toxic versions of this shit because
we're still just looking for it.Because it's still living right
and free in our heads. Yes, like he taught us like 8
(32:06):
different layers of. Fucked up.
Oh my God. Yeah.
If anything triggers a response,like Oh my God, that's like him
or Oh my God, that's like Jack. Oh my God, that's.
But it's like, then you fill in the holes in your brain with the
fantasy of the movie, right? And you ignore the red flags.
Because like 365 letters, which is I believe something that he
did in the number. A letter for every day those I
(32:29):
mean, it was the work that was put through to that the thought
the. So in the context of that, like,
it's less creepy than like the fact that because we're out
there looking for that, you get 16 texts from a dude in a row
and you're like chasing me. Or oh, you're thirsty.
(32:52):
Yes, but they are kind of. I mean, 16 unanswered texts in a
row seems a little aggressive to.
Me, yes. But like the toxic way people
will read that is he's my know us the 365 letters.
Like look at all the effort he put in on the positive note to
expect like work and effort and to be seen and all that stuff.
But it was put in this like movie like package.
(33:14):
Yes, but then when it manifests in real life, like sometimes you
get like mistaken. You know what I mean?
Like, Oh my God, he he stays with me like even though I was
tied up. But like, wait, that should he
tie you up because then it's notthe same.
Was there even consent? You know what I'm saying?
Like there's a difference between like he'll do.
(33:35):
He can't rest until he has me and like, well, I said no, but
he just wanted me so badly and that's OK.
I was like, that's where it's going.
It's a damsel in distress. It's the he wants me.
So like it's the, the chaste behavior right where you're
writing these letters and you'reputting forth the effort.
Like, there's a scene, I'm not going to go in a diatribe, don't
(33:57):
worry, but there's a scene in Yellowstone where Beth shut the
fuck up, where Beth calls RIP and a baby.
I need you come home. And this mother fucker, in the
middle of doing his job as a rancher, turns the horse around.
Yes, he's on a horse and rides back miles to get to his car, to
come back to Beth. I mean like that instant I need
(34:17):
you and he's there. Yeah.
But the difference is, did you ask for it or did he tell you
needed it? And that's where the toxic line
is, like if you're creating a problem for me and then solving
it, or you're telling me I should be dependent on you when
I'm not asking. Correct.
And I think so many of us acceptthat because we can't
differentiate between the two. Between the two, yeah, because
(34:41):
it's our fantasy and reality kind of converging.
Disappointed that you don't looklike your favorite actress and
your favorite ROM com? Well, you should be feel bad
about yourself and buy this great new product called I'll
Have What She's having facial toner.
Don't ask what's in it. You won't get the leading man,
(35:02):
but you'll look like the leadinglady.
So we're going to try something new this these upcoming
episodes, a little segment related called Devil's Advocate,
because we play it a lot already, so we thought we'd make
a game out of it. So for today's Devil's Advocate,
we have this book shout out. This is a funny fucking book.
(35:24):
We were not paid to say that. In fact, we paid to say that.
It's called how to piss off men by Kyle crew.
I want to read some of these to you.
You want to deconstruct to how it would piss a man off but also
defend the man. At the same time.
Yes, because I would be known asthe male sympathizer, and this
(35:44):
one is the antithesis of that. This is good.
All right. You're so sassy.
Only girls are sassy. You just called him a bitch.
Why'd you call him a bitch? Oh man.
So you're calling him a lady andthat's not nice and that hurt
(36:05):
his feelings? I think that you could have
included some more gender affirming language.
I'm not trying to stop you from expressing your anger.
I'm a girls girl but that being said if you were to say Dick
like it's not going to make him feel like soft or like feminine
(36:26):
like he still gets to be masculine masculine in his.
Or you can call him a limp Dick.But see, once again, like,
that's ableist because like, there are what if he's actually
afflicted with that? Yeah, what if he has erectile
dysfunction? I mean, and what if he sends?
I mean, that's private. That's private information.
That's TMI. Then he doesn't have body
(36:46):
ontotomy. It's not his fault.
In his body, in his limpestick. His limpestick.
He can't control it. Like your mouth?
(37:15):
I mean, what if his body, his body works differently?
Like you're going to be taking areally mean shot.
At him. Good job.
Thanks. I love that you can do that so
easily. You're like, it was not easy.
There were a lot of mental acrobats happening in there.
Why I in my head I had to refuteeach one to myself before it
(37:35):
could go. On shit and you did it so
smoothly bro there was no essence of like it's my.
Hyper independence. It's like I have the machine at
in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with a gob stopper, and
it was like that was going on inyour head.
Yeah, every time you're answering.
That whole Chocolate Factory is going on in my head.
(37:57):
Fuck, I got you. I got you another one, OK?
You have the confidence of a much taller man.
OK, so that's funny because theydon't like to be short and they
don't like the insinuation that they don't deserve their own
(38:19):
confidence that they have. So really.
That was a 2. Pronged attack and it was an
observation about them that didn't have a compliment in it.
Not one, but like kind of did because she called you
confident. So like you're very off kilter
because you hate her, but she called you confident and you
liked that. It's very fucking confusing.
(38:41):
Literally fed him a turd coveredin chocolate now.
You want me to defend it? Yes, that's body shaming.
First of all. Like who?
Who wins in that scenario? Like all short men are being
hurt by this what you're saying.What if a child overhears you
say it and they're short? You're diabolical growth.
(39:05):
Hormones. Is that what you're advocating?
I mean, that's if you can live with saying that I could.
Fucking gold. I wake up every day and choose
to be nice. You really do.
I really do. You really do.
(39:27):
We might not keep doing that. I I can't it diabolical is the
only word I can think of that you I mean like that answer
should be studied. Keep going, this is.
So this is so much fun. Yes, OK, you look like you'd be
a slow runner. Oh my God, do.
(39:50):
You want to hear the context. I just can't wait to say it to
people. Oh.
My God, you look like you'd be aslow runner.
I mean bitch, I do too, but you know.
OK, say this to a man when you want him to leave at as soon as
possible. Speak.
I need you to take a hop, a skipand a jump the fuck out of my
face. OK, now you have to deconstruct
(40:15):
it and then I want you to defend.
It, well, I mean, isn't it obvious?
You. Have questioned his athletic
prowess and you've indicated it by looking at his body and only
they're allowed to look at our bodies first of all.
And if you do look at his body, you say 3 nice things.
You did it. You just made it a stone cold
(40:38):
observation that based on the way this motherfucker looks, I'm
going to make an assessment about your athletic ability.
That's literally what they do towomen on the daily basis.
Like you have Gray hair? I'm going to assume this about
you. You have a vagina.
I'm going to assume this about you.
You're you're a short king with the bald pat, with the receding
hairline. You don't look like you can kick
(41:00):
up dust real good. I was literally listing things
that you think about women and you're like, I'm just going to
roast a guy. Freaky fucking Friday.
This is why it's called. She went for the She went to the
OK devil's advocate read it to me one.
More time. This is great.
(41:20):
You look like you'd be a slow runner.
OK, So what if he is? What if he had cerebral palsy?
What if his brother had cerebralpalsy?
What if he used to get made fun of all the time growing up
because he used to be fat? Women experience this kind of
discrimination all the time, andit is astounding to me that
anyone would advocate that we just fight fire with fire.
(41:44):
That is like so not feminine, sonot what a woman should do.
Jesus would tell us to. Turn Jesus pure Symphony Keep.
Going. This is fucking amazing.
It's so easy. You make it look so easy.
These are fucking gold. Are those bowling shoes?
(42:09):
Bowling shoes. Bowling shoes is crazy.
It's wild, wild. Not bowling shoes, anything but
bowling shoes. Oh my God, where to begin?
Bowling is the least masculine sport.
It literally all I think is kingpin the fucking 3 hairs.
(42:34):
She's a kingpin. I just, that's all I think
about. It's hilarious as fuck Because
bowling is embarrassing. I'm sorry, I love to go bowling.
Bowling is fun. But those listen, there is not
enough people that bowl that could be like I can.
I've seen bowling shoes that arelike just look like gym shoes.
(42:54):
But that's not what most of us think of.
We think of the worst of the. Worst, a shiny cardboard black
or a red and white. This is why this is like Primo
because again, on paper you've said nothing wrong, but you've
(43:15):
said everything wrong. Like bowling shoes is like the
archetype for ugly shoes, Yes. Like the only reason you didn't
say clown shoes is because clownhas a negative connotation,
correct? But like low key, so does
bowling. But if you're a clown, you're a
fucking you're a disaster. Bowling shoes is like you're an.
Athlete. You're not even it.
You are. You're a wish version of a
(43:37):
fucking athlete with bowling shoes on.
I'm sorry. OK, is it my time to?
Shine shit, go for it. Yes, defend it.
I don't think that's very nice, because what if they are bowling
shoes and he got them at the thrift store and he doesn't even
know that they're bowling shoes,and now you've called attention
to it and now he's going to haveto think about it.
And then what if he goes to the local library because he's
(44:00):
homeless and he looks up on the Internet bowling shoes and reads
out like it's commonly used as apejorative, a negative, and now
he doesn't want to wear the onlyshoes he could afford?
Pitch. I don't know how you're doing it
or diabolic. I'm trying to figure out how
you're playing it so well. You're defending it like a
fucking a class lawyer and you switch gears so quickly.
(44:25):
Put me on Traders season 5. Call Phaedra Parks.
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