Joe Toles & Lizzi Montanti

From Foster Care to Father of 10
Some songs are written to be heard. Others are written hoping they'll somehow travel through the airwaves to reach someone who may never know they exist.
Joe Toles wrote "Dreamin'" as the second kind - a lullaby from a boy in foster care to a mother he'd never met, hoping his voice might somehow find her across the distance and let her know he was thinking of her.

That boy is now the father of ten adopted sons and the founder of The Joseph Toles Foundation. His story is this week's Anna Jinja Show, and it's one that will change how you think about family, belonging, and the power of transforming pain into purpose.

Joe's Journey:
Born in 1959 to an interracial couple (before interracial marriage was legal) Spent one-third of his life in foster care - never adopted Became Auburn University Division I All-American track athlete & team captain Now: Licensed Mental Health Counselor and foundation founder

The Message That Changes Everything:

"None of this is your fault."

These are the words Joe wishes he could tell his younger self - and the foundation of his work with children and families today. As someone who felt "too light and too dark in the same room at the same time," Joe understands the complexity of identity in ways that inform everything he does.

What You'll Discover:
✨Why "family is the most effective way to support a child in foster care" ✨ How Joe found belonging through ancestry research when his immediate family story was painful ✨ The role music played as his refuge when everything else felt out of control ✨ His approach to helping young people develop positive self-identity ✨ Why he believes "we all deserve to be where we allow ourselves to be"

Featured Music: Joe performs his original song "Dreamin'" - the raw, unedited version he wrote as a child. It's heartbreaking and beautiful, and you'll understand why music became his sanctuary.

Special Guest: Meet Lizzi Montanti, our newest team member, who asks the questions that help illuminate the universal aspects of Joe's story. Her perspective as someone who has also navigated identity challenges creates a beautiful intergenerational dialogue.

Perfect for you if:
•You work with children or families in challenging situations
•You've ever struggled with belonging or identity
•You're interested in how personal pain can become professional purpose
•You believe in the power of chosen family
•You want to understand trauma-informed approaches to healing

Joe's Current Work: Through The Joseph Toles Foundation and his virtual workshops on identity formation, Joe continues helping young people discover their worth. His podcast "Out of the Starting Blocks and Into the Race" shares more of his journey and insights.

The Deeper Truth: Joe's story isn't just about surviving foster care - it's about how someone who spent his childhood looking for family became the person who creates family for others. It's about the boy who wrote songs to a mother he'd never met becoming the father of ten sons who will never question whether they belong.

Listen now and prepare to be moved by both Joe's vulnerability and his strength. His story reminds us that somebody has survived before us, and that survival can become the foundation for helping others thrive.

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