Dr. Kimberly Riley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified child mental health specialist in the state of Washington. She has experience working with children and is passionate about their behavioral health needs, although she currently works mostly with couples and families in the private practice setting. She loves being a wife and mom to her 3 teenage daughters. She also enjoys traveling to and exploring new places with her family.
Dr. Jessica Guerrero, "Dr. G" is a resident of South Central Los Angeles a city where she grew up. She is a wife and mother of two kiddos, the daughter of immigrants and the first one in her family (on both sides) to receive a Doctoral degree. She earned her Bachelors in Sociology 2005, a Masters in Social Work in 2013 and a Doctorate in Social Work in the summer of 2020. She is currently working as a Psychiatric Social Worker and has been working in mental health with children, youth and families for 20 years.
[Recorded 10/27/2020]
We’re in a season of anxiety & grief — Across political parties, social structures’ etc.
Dr. Kimberly says these are sober times filled with grief, loss and uncertainty. Our current events are causing us grief and we’re having trouble identifying. We are feeling “ambiguous loss” which she names from ambigiousloss.com as loss that “defies resolution and creates confusion.”
1. Identifying Loss & Grief
We don’t know what we’ve lost. We’re still trying to figure out it! We’ve lost events, people, freedom…
2. Since Grief shows up in different ways, how do we cope with it?
Danielle says it’s hard to get started “grieving” losses because this grief sneaks up on us and it’s unclear where and how it’s hitting us.
We are wanting to have particularity with our grief.
She says we need to move slow. This is a slow process. “Today I feel this… Tomorrow I may not.”
Dr. G says what we are experiencing is rare: for us all to be in a state of grief at the same time. Never in our lifetime have we been through this. She said there is a sense of camaraderie.
She’s seeing an increase in anger in the children she is working with; developmentally they haven’t gained the tools or language to navigate this. Even adults are having a hard time walking along side children. It is a parallel process.
Maggie named this for herself and how much sadness and grief she feels at the beginning of the week—trying to gain the will to do another week at home with kids, schooling them when not trained to do so.
Dr. G expands on the trouble with Mondays: There used to been a marking at beginning of the week, there was a routine and schedule (almost like a ritual) that began the night before in preparation for the week. It’s just not as clearly defined in this COVID season with school and work at home. The days are all blending together. It’s heavy on caregivers/parents.
Be kind to yourself on Monday!
Dr. Kimberly says the unknown over comes us on Mondays. We are experiencing so much!
We have to give ourselves breaks, grace… give ourselves what we need — whether it be highly structured or more fluid.
Danielle says all the little losses add up and we almost can’t recognize them. She thinks that perhaps people are reluctant enter into grief because it will feel like it will drown us.
Dr. G Feeling reluctant to say where the grief is coming from because when compared to someone else who may have it worse. These are little losses can be very significant, so we don’t need undermine our feelings.
Maggie - when we allow ourselves to engage with others in our grief, we provide a space for shared grief, that camaraderie that Dr. G talks about. “I see you. You see me. We’re not alone in this.” Identifying grief then also can lead to being able to identify places where we have gained thing. Pause and reflect, find joy in the midst of seemingly unbearable times. This allows us to come close to ourselves and to each other.
Dr. Kimberly says getting to a place of gratefulness and thankfulness in our grief and loss will remind you that you are still here, and for a purpose. She mentioned how we have reframed funeral to celebration of life as a way of focusing on positive in the midst of grieving.
Danielle how grief, gratefulness and joy can lead to a sense resilience even the midst of on-going loss. If you haven’t engaged your losses or are disconnected with your community then resilience can be harder to come by. She says it’s for this reason we need to look to our communities to engage our grief and loss; to look at other cultures and learn how they engage their loss and grief. This could bring us together.
Dr. G - Even in this divisive political climate, there are some like-minded people coming together. These times can highlight individuals who are supporting us.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com