November 1, 2025 • 67 mins
A slow-burn relationship that turned into total control. Years of gaslighting, tracking, and violence. And then a plan strong enough to carry a mother and child into the night and toward safety. That’s the spine of our conversation with survivor, martial arts and firearms instructor, and new author, Kas McGuire—an honest, practical, and deeply human tour through what domestic violence really looks like and what it takes to fight back.
We dig into how abuse begins with small concessions—friends dismissed, clothes policed, money and documents “kept safe”—and how those moments add up to a cage. Kas explains why leaving is often the most dangerous moment, how she documented threats and injuries, and the steps she took to escape. From there, we go beyond technique to the heart of self-defense: mental readiness. Kas’s approach blends situational awareness, decision-making under stress, and emotional aftercare, because the legal and psychological aftermath can hit as hard as the event itself.
We also tackle workplace safety and domestic violence spillover. Employers can save lives with clear policies, safe escort plans, private check-ins, and direct links to local resources. Technology shows up as both shield and sword; we cover location sharing pitfalls, hidden trackers, and account hygiene that can reduce risk. Through it all, Kas’s new psychological thriller, Water Cure, turns lived experience into a story that educates without exploiting, giving readers a way to recognize red flags and a language to ask for help.
If you care about prevention, teach red flags early. If you lead a team, build policies that protect. If you instruct, train minds as much as hands. And if you’re surviving, you are not alone. Listen, share with someone who needs it, and leave a rating to help more people find this conversation.
For immediate help contact, National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 911
Follow Kas or contact her Kas McGuire Author on Facebook, Starsnoopdogg on YouTube, TikToc, or Instagram, At MMAOK.com. Also for any professional contacts on LinkedIn @kasmcguire. Read more in an interview in the Armed Lifestyle online Magazine, https://www.armedlifestylemagazine.com/read/november-2022
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi, welcome to the OnCard Podcast.
Two three episode two.
Today's crystal hour will beback into the podcasting with
our special guest requirement.
She is a domestic survivor offirearms and martial arts
instructors.
Thursday and first of domesticawareness.
(00:34):
Domestic South Awareness.
And story about encounter five.
So I hope you stay tuned.
We'll be getting back into moreepisodes of not like we were
(00:57):
before just yet, but uh we'regonna start releasing more
episodes and looking forward toreconnecting with our listeners
that we have.
Stay tuned, and here we go.
Hi, welcome to the ArmedGuardian Podcast.
I'm your host, Brian, here withour co-host Crystal, and our
guest today is Cass McGuire.
She is a domestic violencesurvivor, she's also a firearms
(01:22):
instructor, martial artsinstructor, advocate for
domestic violence, and she'salso an up-and-coming new
author.
She's got a book that's comingout uh into this month, and
she's here to kind of talk aboutit, promote it, tell a little
bit of her story.
And with this being Octoberbeing domestic violence
(01:42):
awareness month, uh that's whatthe topic of today is uh
domestic violence.
And I wanted to bring her on.
She's got an amazing story.
I'm uh started following herwhenever I got into firearms
instruction, trying to you knowlook for other instructors to
kind of follow a little bit,pick up some of the things, you
(02:03):
know, that camaraderie that uhwe try to look for.
And I fell across her and sawsome of her early stories and
videos that she had posted, andit was just something that I
said before I got the podcastgoing, it was something that I
was very adamant about trying topursue or to push awareness.
(02:26):
And now that I've got thepodcast going, I figured this
would be a perfect time.
And this has been a work inprogress with Cass and I.
It's taken a little over a year.
Of course, I took last year offuh for personal reasons, but
we've I've been trying to gether on, and today is the big day
we've got her on.
So, Cass, if you want to do anintroduction to yourself, tell
(02:49):
us a little about who CassMaguire is and what what you
what you do.
SPEAKER_02 (02:55):
Of course.
Yeah, like you said, my name'sCass Maguire.
I am a martial arts instructormostly nowadays.
I just had a a baby a year ago,so I haven't gotten to go with
the range nearly as much as Iwish to.
And I have been working on mybook, Water Cure, that's out on
(03:15):
Halloween.
Um, I I got into the socialmedia aspect in 2020 after
trying to kind of figure out howto relive again after surviving
13 years of domestic violence.
It really started off fairlysmall, and I was just on
(03:36):
Instagram, and I would writelike little quotes.
It was either some quote that Imade up that felt really deep to
me, or I would look at quotesfrom history, usually United
States history, and I'd put apicture, and it was a way for me
to get used to how my facelooked.
(04:00):
I had had a lot ofreconstructive surgery on my
face, and I didn't recognizemyself, and I kind of just
wanted to feel pretty again.
And people started kind offollowing me, and I then was
kind of pushed into hey, whydon't you go and be armed?
It's probably safer for you tobe armed.
(04:21):
And I started training so muchso that I was going two, three
times a week, and it became anew love for me.
The smell of the fireworks ofshooting and the feeling of all
the stress kind of going away.
I just I fell in love and Ibegan feeling empowered again.
(04:45):
Shooting gun truly empowered meto remember who I really was,
and I wanted to share it witheverybody.
And so I actually turned mysocial media public and just
started sharing my story,telling everybody how incredible
it was to feel reinvigoratedagain and have a passion again,
(05:10):
and kind of convinced trying toconvince people that this was
kind of the way.
Like just try it, you will loveit.
And after that, I I went intoprivate security and then went
to teaching martial arts, andhere I am after almost five
(05:32):
years of people saying youshould write a book about what
happened, finally putting itdown and getting it published
and letting people hear mystory, but in a different way.
It is a psychological thriller.
So I I'm really thrilled to behere, Brian, and thank you for
(05:52):
letting me come on and introducemyself.
SPEAKER_00 (05:54):
You're welcome.
Okay.
This is generally what we'vedone in the past with our
podcast is we will havequestions that we kind of
pre-tell people, our guests, youknow, hey, this is what we're
going to ask and everything.
But I thought this was one ofthese situations that would be
best situated by having an openconversation because it will
(06:18):
allow us to be you know flowthrough more responsively, you
know, go into more or lessdetail that we want to.
And I just thought it would bethe the best platform for us to
do for this segment.
So did your intros again, thisis for about domestic violence
awareness mostly and to promoteyour book, but uh tell us a
(06:41):
little bit about your yourstory.
Tell us a little bit about yourdomestic violence situation, if
you don't mind.
No, how how it uh happened, youknow, the stages that you've you
went through and stuff likethat.
SPEAKER_02 (06:55):
Yeah, of course.
I I was very young.
I actually met who I call mycaptor in middle school.
And sixth grade, me was, youknow, ooh, handsome football
player.
That's that was the mindset.
And I was a very nerdycheerleader who didn't really
(07:17):
get along with the girls.
So my mom put me in martialarts.
And by high school, I had earnedmy black belt and I started
really feeling confident in mynerdy self and kind of chased
after this guy and was head overheels.
It really did start off small,and he started pointing towards
(07:39):
my friends and saying, Well, youknow they don't really like you,
right?
You know they talk bad aboutyou, they make fun of you, they
think your hair is weird, theythey don't like how you dress.
And he really started pulling meaway from the people that I was
close to, and I didn't realizeit because I was like, Oh, he
(08:01):
wouldn't hurt me.
This this is this is love, buthe's just trying to protect me.
And it kind of moved more intohey, you shouldn't wear that.
You you look a little bit trashywhen you wear things like that.
You should wear this, and again,I'm like, he's just being nice,
(08:22):
he wants to, you know, make sureI don't look bad.
That's okay.
We moved in together right afterhigh school, and I was gonna go
to college, and he was like,Hey, you know, you're really
good at martial arts, you shouldjust there's no reason for you
to go to college reallyconvinced me that I should drop
out of college, and I I did.
(08:43):
And the more the more happened,I kind of I realized I started
not being able to hold money.
He started having him hold mydriver's license, like he wanted
to hold my driver's licensebecause I would lose it, and I
was very forgetful.
And I just I really didn't thinkmuch of it.
(09:03):
Um and the martial arts schoolthat I was teaching at, they the
owners had a divorce and therewas a big falling out, so I was
home a lot for a little bit.
And one day he came home while Ihad been home alone and
immediately started accusing meof being unfaithful to him.
And I was caught so off guard,and it was just like a switch in
(09:28):
his eyes.
His eyes grew dark, and hegrabbed a knife out of the
kitchen, and from there on he heforced me to remove my clothes
and searched my body and smelledme, and he still didn't believe
me.
And that was that was the firsttime it got really bad.
(09:49):
And he held me down andwaterboarded me.
That that was the first physicalincident, and it just continued
from there for years, it reallydid.
SPEAKER_00 (10:35):
They really gaslighted you into believing a
lot of the stuff, and that'sfrom what I've seen in my career
interactions, that's a big thingthat happens with people in
domestic violence situations.
They get gaslighted, they gettaught, get the thought in their
head that you know they're notworth the worth it, you know,
(10:57):
nobody else would be interestedin them and stuff like that.
And that's some of the thingsthat I think really step up and
people need to be aware of, youknow.
And Crystal and I were in thepre pre-recording, no, a lot of
people, why don't you justleave?
No, it's not that bad, or andstuff like that.
And they really can't understandit if they they haven't been in
(11:20):
it or know somebody that hasbeen in a situation like that.
They just can't wrap their headaround, you know, why you just
can't leave, why you just can'tcall for help and stuff like
that.
SPEAKER_01 (11:31):
Yeah, a lot of times they'll either downplay it or
they're they'll blame thevictim.
I've heard people say, well, ifyou didn't like it, you wouldn't
be there.
You wouldn't let it happen, youwould just leave.
But you don't know the person'scircumstances.
It could be financial, it couldbe fair.
I mean, in my situation, I hadto worry about my children being
killed.
(11:51):
So, and he would have done it.
It wasn't one of those thingswhere, oh, he's just talking,
this is a very dangerousindividual.
So it's not always easy toleave.
And for many situations where awoman, and it does happen in men
too, don't get me wrong, there'smen do have domestic violence as
well, maybe not as much aswomen, but there are those cases
where men are also victims.
And that's a situation wherewhen they do leave, there's a
(12:14):
very high possibility that theyare killed.
So it becomes a lot moredangerous when they do leave.
So we always have to take a lotof different things in
consideration and why somebody'sin and you know doesn't want to
leave or can't leave.
SPEAKER_04 (12:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:28):
Another thing that we were talking about earlier
was like in my situation, I wasstrangled.
And when if it wasn't for mydaughter walking in on it and
seeing me there, he would havefinished me off.
I would not be here right now.
And when the police arrived onscene, they told me that they
were gonna put my children in inthe DCF care, and then I was
gonna go to jail.
And so was the attacker.
(12:48):
So, what incentive is that to avictim to call for help if you
think your children are gonna betaken away from you and you're
gonna go to jail when you're avictim.
So there's a lot of things, ourour system is seriously flawed,
I can tell you that when itcomes to situations like this.
And like you were saying aboutyour your case, I don't know
about how it is today, but thiswas a very long time ago, of
(13:11):
what kind of training educationthey're giving to the officers
on scene.
SPEAKER_00 (13:16):
Right.
Yeah, it's not like uh I know inFlorida, uh the jurisdiction
that I was in, uh towards theend of my career with the agency
I was at, they started a thejudicial circuit started a
victim's awareness advocate thatwould respond out for certain
(13:37):
calls to try to, if there was anarrest, to try to intervene, or
if if there is a a victim thatwas injured, or you know,
something that the officer thatagain goes back to the officer's
discretion, that the officerfelt that you know somebody else
needed to intervene that maybehad a little bit more training,
a little bit more ways to handlea situation.
(14:00):
And no, that's something that Ithink I've seen it grow in the
good factor.
Uh a lot more officers aregetting better training.
Is it the best or is itsufficient?
Not by any means, but at leastit's a start uh advocating for
laws for domestic violence.
That's another thing.
(14:21):
The laws have changed.
I know before people youcouldn't figure out who it was,
or you know, they werecontradicting each other.
Well, arrest both of them andand let the courts uh now.
I know in Florida, what before Ileft, they were had passed a law
where if you could identify aprimary aggressor, you made that
arrest.
You you were mandated to makethat arrest.
SPEAKER_03 (14:43):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (14:44):
Yeah, eventually the courts would have to deal with
it, but no, at least you wereable to get that situation
separated and you know, allow uhallow some space for them to try
to work things out or get helpor you know whatever was needed.
SPEAKER_01 (15:00):
You know, you you know, another issue we have too
with law enforcement.
I'm not trying to knock anyonebecause it's a very tough job.
But sometimes they there's somany cases of domestic violence
that it's like when they getanother call, they're oh,
another one of those cases,another domestic violence.
And they don't always take itserious.
SPEAKER_04 (15:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
Because there's so many of them.
Then they get on scene, you knowhow it is, Brian.
You get on scene.
Nobody likes to go out todomestic violence situations
because it turns ugly.
So we're there to help you, butthen they turn around and go
after us.
You're the bad guys, you know,we don't want you here.
Yeah, they were just trying toget it helped because they were
in danger at that time, so itflipped.
So a lot of times officers arelike, oh, just another one of
(15:40):
these domestic violence cases,here we go again, you know, and
they don't want to deal withthat.
SPEAKER_00 (15:44):
Especially if it's the a a known couple that has
over and over problems, youknow, they say, Oh, here we go
again, they're arguing again anduh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:53):
Yeah, I will say I 100% agree.
My my husband is in lawenforcement, and um, he said
that it definitely is fatiguing.
And you know, whenever I I mademy escape in 2019, I actually I
had to really plan it out, um,which is an important step for
(16:15):
any survivor, any survivorlistening, making sure that you
have a plan because leaving isthe most dangerous part.
I tried to leave countless timesand got injured, and it was a
test and failed process on howto leave.
I left in the middle of thenight um and drove me and my son
to a fire station.
(16:36):
And when an officer showed up atthe fire station, his immediate
tonality was oh what now?
And I and the firefighters hadto step between the officer and
me and say, Hey, this this womanneeds help.
Or they started really workingum and finding me a place to go.
(17:00):
With that being said, as courtkind of went through, the
officer never made a policereport.
Um essentially, because I hadleft with no wounds um or
visible injuries, no policereport was made.
I was able to obtain a victimprotection order, an e an EVP.
(17:26):
Um and it took my my my sense ofjustice was it taking him not
showing for a um a a child, uh achild hearing for custody of the
child, and him being in jail,and him calling and begging to
be let out of jail, and mesaying, if you sign your rights
(17:49):
over, I'll drop, I'll we can wecan let things go.
And he said, Will I ever have topay any money to you?
And I said, No.
And as if my child was nothingmore than a transaction, he
signed his rights away.
SPEAKER_01 (18:04):
A bargaining chip.
SPEAKER_02 (18:06):
Yeah.
But the system definitely failedin many ways.
And even my attorney was like,You unless the state were to
somehow press charges, we wouldhave to take this to sit to
civil court case.
There, even though you havebecause I would I saved, I
prepared, I saved photos.
I wrote myself emails and sentthem to my son's tablet and in
(18:29):
like parental lock mode.
I I had everything photos, textmessages for three years of him
threatening to kill me andsaying, Oh, I just barely
stabbed you, like things likethat.
Like I had every bit of evidencebecause while I was going
through it, it was during theBrett Kavanaugh stuff that was
(18:51):
going on.
And I remember like listening toall these like political news
stories, and I'm like, wow, Idon't know what to believe.
So I thought, if I'm gonnaleave, I have to have proof
because I didn't know whether tobelieve some people who were
coming out against thesepoliticians.
So who would believe me, youknow?
And to then have all thisevidence and go to my attorney
(19:16):
and then say, I'm sorry, thestate failed you.
I can't, there's nothing we cando unless you want to press
civil charges.
That that was rough for me.
SPEAKER_01 (19:27):
You know, it was a good thing you were going, not
there was never a good thingthat you were going through, but
you had stuff that you can buildevidence evidence.
Well, I remember when I wasgoing through it, I had a little
voice recorder and I would tryand record stuff that he would
say.
And I was told that that wasgonna be used against me because
I was taking away his rights bynot informing him that I was
recording him.
(19:48):
No, I'm violating his rights.
I'm like, I'm violating hisrights because I'm recording him
saying he's gonna kill me, killmy children.
And they're like, you can'trecord that somebody else
without their knowledge.
So you have to let them know,hey, by the way, is it okay if I
record you threatening my lifeand my children's life?
He's gonna definitely say no.
SPEAKER_02 (20:14):
But I I will say the one time I was caught recording
was whenever I wound up with myfacial reconstruction because he
saw me recording, grabbed thephone, and I grabbed my son's
car seat and I started runningto a hospital that was like
across the street.
He grabbed me in front of thehospital.
(20:34):
There's people like everywhere.
SPEAKER_01 (20:36):
They don't care.
SPEAKER_02 (20:37):
Yeah, he punches me in the face, my jaw slits, and
he said, and like I wasbleeding.
And he was like, Tell them theOklahoma wind made the car door
hit it.
Go get yourself fixed up.
And I I mean, I did.
I was like, okay, I guess that'swhat I'm gonna do.
(20:57):
So it's it's easy.
SPEAKER_00 (21:03):
So from your domestic violence uh situation,
how did it transform you or howhas it transformed you into your
firearms training and martialarts training?
Has it kind of fueled you for toempower women or people in
general?
How's how's it helped you or orwhat was your goal and your
(21:26):
training methods that you haveusing this?
SPEAKER_02 (21:30):
Well, I think a part of me, because I was teaching
martial arts when I first was inthe relationship, like and I
went through it while teachingmartial arts.
There was a part of me that feltso bad about myself when I was
teaching people how to fight atmy job and then coming home and
(21:50):
not defending myself.
And then after leaving thesituation and getting into
firearms and going back intomartial arts training, there was
kind of this drive in me toteach people that it doesn't
matter if you know how to shootor if you know how to punch and
kick, if you don't love yourselfenough to use that ability, then
(22:17):
you you can know all this allthis stuff and never truly
protect yourself.
And I truly believe that thereason it was so hard on me was
I I didn't love myself and I Iput my faith of loving myself
into somebody else rather thanlove myself purely.
And I wasn't mentally strongenough to use the knowledge I
(22:39):
had to protect myself.
And so now as I teach, I I tryto not just teach you how to do
it, but how your brain mentallyneeds to be that state of mind
that you need to be in toactually pull the trigger, to
actually harm somebody.
(23:00):
Because some people, I was oneof those people who never really
wanted to actually ever harmanybody.
Like the thought of me breakingsomebody's nose, I would feel
bad, you know?
And the reality is if we have todefend ourselves, we have to
mentally be prepared not onlyfor the damage we can cause on
(23:23):
other people, but theramifications of your mental
health after that damage iscaused.
Not just the law part of it,which I know a lot of people
preach the hey, remember, if youshoot, you have to still go
through all these legal things,but the mind of it is also very
hard to handle.
(23:44):
And I want to help others, ifthey ever are in a situation to
defend themselves, that theymentally are prepared and don't
go through as much trauma andPTSD as I did recovering from
it.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
Yeah, that's one of the things that the mental the
mental aspect.
Now I've done, and I'm sure weall have done firearms training,
and people say, Well, I want toget a firearm to protect myself,
but I don't know if I can pullthe trigger and no shoot
somebody, whether it's just thefear of injuring somebody,
religious beliefs, or whatever,but they want to get this
(24:26):
training and just overcomingthat aspect, that thought that
they have to prepare them, youknow, if they had to, that they
could protect themselves.
And then the after effects, likeyou said, the dealing with the
emotional PS PTSD, the thetrauma, the things that are
gonna, the nightmares and stuffthat'll come back uh
(24:48):
potentially, and how to dealwith those and seeking help to
deal with those because a lot ofpeople, some are strong-willed,
strong-minded, that it may notaffect them to the extent that
it may affect somebody else inthat same situation.
So uh that's what was you know,one of the things I wish
firearms instructors wouldreally delve into whenever they
(25:12):
teach is the yeah, teach themthe basics, teach them you know
the laws for self-defense, butalso go into the mental or the
aftermath what happens.
Uh, because a lot of peoplethink, you know, too, hey, if I
shoot somebody and they'reattacking me and I shoot them
and and they die or they gethurt or something, I'm good to
(25:35):
go.
A lot of them don't realize thatthey're probably gonna get
detained or handcuffs slapped onthem, at least taken down to the
station to be interviewed orsomething, especially if there's
a death.
No, uh, and a lot of people theythey start what if that happens
to them, they start freezing,they start second-guessing, and
if they're not aware of how tohandle or you know, expect these
(25:55):
things, then it can kind ofthrow them into that severe PTSD
aspect of oh crap, this is notwhat I thought, and have a
problem dealing with it in theend.
SPEAKER_02 (26:11):
Go ahead, Kess.
I would say um one of theexamples I give to my students,
um, and this is a true story.
I was sitting in my car in aparking lot, and I had the
windows rolled down slightly,and I was just kind of like
resting my eyes, and I felt ahand reach into my car and it
(26:35):
grabbed my shoulder.
Now, my martial arts trainingkicked in, and this is
post-abuse, and I grabbed thearm, pulled it, the person's
head hit the door.
I opened my car and I held themto the door.
And as I'm holding them and I'mseeing blood on my like window
from their head hitting it, Irealize this is a homeless man
(27:00):
that was probably just trying toask me for money.
And I I called the I called thepolice.
I'm like, hey, I just hurt thisguy.
I he reached in my car, andthey're like, Well, he did reach
in your car, which is againstthe law, so you had the right to
defend yourself.
But maybe next time, be aware.
(27:25):
And I was like, Yes, I Iprobably shouldn't have done
that.
But like to this day, itbothers.
I feel so bad for that man.
Like, I broke his nose.
He did break the law, and he wasprobably just asking for money,
but the mental aspect is stillthere, like something that small
of injury, and especiallyteaching martial arts.
(27:47):
I I try to teach even my youngerkids hey, if you hurt somebody
at school protecting yourself,you're gonna you might feel bad
about it.
But it's good that you protectedyourself.
SPEAKER_00 (27:58):
Yeah, and it's good, no, people being us aware of
their situation, uh, situationalawareness and everything,
because in that situation, justthink if you know, you still had
your window down and somebodysaw you with no sleeping and
stuff.
Hey, is she passed out?
Is she you know unconscious orsomething?
Let me wake her up and then thathappening, just knowing a little
(28:22):
bit, you know, maybe cracking itwhere somebody can't get their
arm in, maybe shake or knock onthe car or something.
But no, it's just being for theconcealed carrier, it's being
aware of you know situations,uh, yeah, we're trained, like
you, you're you you reacted howyou trained to you know protect
yourself, you know, someonegrabbing you, and you know,
(28:44):
that's all fine and dandy, butwe also have to be aware of you
know what did we get too laidback or too lax in our
situational awareness by leavingthe window open for them to put
their hand in and stuff.
So a lot a lot of sit, you know,a lot of topics can come from
this discussion and things thatwe just sometimes are aren't
(29:08):
aware of.
It's like with uh people goingout carrying a firearm, and you
know, a lot of people you ask,well, where are you gonna sit in
a a restaurant?
You have a choice of a table ora booth, you know, where are you
gonna go?
And you know, a lot of peoplethey like the booths, but you
know, the table is where youwant to go, you want to scan the
exits and stuff, and a lot ofpeople just don't think about
(29:31):
that.
So it's just being aware.
SPEAKER_01 (29:34):
Yeah, we have to be very proactive.
And I think a lot of thesethings, like as far as myself
being a firearm instructor aswell, and do public safety
education, I feel as thoughsince most of the time we get a
call when something has alreadyhappened.
So when it comes to domesticviolence, I think it's really
important that we start at areally early age educating our
children on what dem whatdomestic violence is, what are
(29:57):
the signs, red flags, becausethey're more equipped to deal
with it.
So I personally do programsstarting in middle school.
Cass, as you mentioned, right?
You were in middle school whenyou met your abuser.
So if we're able to go in at anearly age and start educating
these children so they know whatthe red flags are so they can
avoid it, we're already at anadvantage.
SPEAKER_04 (30:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (30:19):
Unfortunately, it's too late for many of us that
have already gone through it.
But we really need to focus alot on that education
beforehand.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Right.
Uh see.
From your sit the scenario thator the situation that you were
in, I know you've become a lotmore uh active being an advocate
for women's uh personal safety,domestic violence.
(30:48):
Has how has this impacted,especially with your upcoming
book?
I know this was a big step foryou, probably talk you know,
talking about some of the stuffor putting some of the stuff in
written form for everybody tosee.
How what kind of advocacy areyou currently doing?
Uh you doing have you talkedwith law officers, for uh
(31:09):
attorneys, uh you know, whatwhat kind of advocacy have you
taken or have you been led downthat path yet?
SPEAKER_02 (31:18):
So um for the most part, I I've been pretty local
in some like personal aspects.
I try to, of course, continuesocial media and promote
advocacy nationwide, but here inOklahoma, we are ranked number
one nationally for domesticviolence as of this year.
(31:38):
And the the domestic violencerate against women has increased
drastically.
We were three whenever I wasdealing with the situation.
What I do is I regularly havefree women's self-defense
workshops featured on most newschannels here in Oklahoma, where
women can come in and it is afun, interactive class with
(32:05):
sprinkles of information.
And it it is, I make it veryhumorous and very fun to where
you come away not only feelingempowered because you're able to
do some really cool things, butyou learn kind of a reality of
(32:26):
the situation of why it's soimportant to be able to defend
yourself and how to talk to yourkids about about being safe and
protecting themselves from everwinding up in a situation that
they would need to defendthemselves.
On top of that, I do privatelessons for women who have
(32:47):
recently left the domesticviolence shelter.
And um I help coach women whoreach out to me locally on
creating plans.
Um about three months ago, I hada friend from school who knew me
and my captor.
(33:08):
And she said, Hey, leave, thisis what's going on, and you
help.
And I was like, sure.
So I just buckled down and gaveher a plan.
We walked through a plan and sheshe made it out with her kids,
and he's currently in jail forwhat he did.
SPEAKER_00 (33:37):
Well, that's great.
Uh, and I know, Crystal, I knowyou you've been through some of
it, and I know a little bitabout your advocacy, you know,
with some of your workshops,your classes that you do.
Have you have you had any orattempted to have any impact
with the judicial or even withthe the awareness of in in your
(33:58):
community or in in the state ofFlorida?
SPEAKER_01 (34:01):
Not in in the law enforcement sector per se, but I
do more community-wide events orprivate lessons or discussions.
But really, like lawenforcement, I'm in the process
of developing some sort of aprogram that we could implement
and try and get it out there.
In regards to, like we were justsaying, about them understanding
from a victim's point of view.
(34:22):
Because it's a very sensitive,you know, very it's just a
really touchy thing for thevictim.
SPEAKER_04 (34:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (34:29):
It's very hard to deal with and break through to
these people and try and getthem the help and the resources
that they need.
So I hope to develop somethingsooner than later that can be
implemented and get them onboard.
Otherwise, it's just, you know,community events and public or
personal stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (34:46):
Okay.
Yeah, uh, no, that's kind ofwhere having been on the law
enforcement side and stuff andknowing a few people personally
that have been involved indomestic violence situations,
uh, the advocacy for it is, youknow, I've I've done I've done
classes, I've always tried topass on, you know, whenever I'm
(35:07):
talking to law enforcementofficers or you know, to people
at my church and stuff, try tobring awareness to you know,
being sensitive, uh receptive topeople, because you know,
sometimes even just the smallestnugget of that they may display
that they need help, uh, you youcould make an impact on them.
(35:28):
And I I really think that thereI'm hoping that there's a lot
more that comes about uhdomestic violence awareness is
very you know needed very muchbecause so many people kind of
downplay it, you know, thatwell, if you weren't doing
something, no, it was your yourfault that it happened because
you weren't Oh yeah, youdeserved it.
SPEAKER_01 (35:47):
Yeah, that's what they'll say.
What did you do?
Well, what what's the truth?
There's two sides to this story.
What really happened?
I remember with my situation, wecould be driving in a vehicle
and I'll just breathe heavily,like something, you know, you
take a deep breath, and I get inso much trouble for that.
You know, what the F is yourproblem?
Why are you breathing like that?
And like I was just breathing,or if you get a hiccup or
(36:08):
something, it was like nothing,I'm not mad.
Or you have an attitude, soyeah.
It's just they get upset abouteverything.
SPEAKER_00 (36:17):
And go ahead, Cass.
SPEAKER_02 (36:19):
Um, I I I 100% understand.
I and and it's those littlethings I I think for me that
just like I think my mentalityeventually got to okay, you can
hit me all you want, but it'sthose little things really
irritating me right now thatyou're getting mad that I I
(36:39):
fixed my shirt.
Like you're really mad aboutthat.
It's not gonna cause you to gooff.
I I would rather it be I droppeda plate and then she punched
than I fixed my shirt.
Like are you?
SPEAKER_01 (36:55):
Yeah, it is so it is those little things.
I remember a time when I hadwhen cell phones first came out
and he got me a cell phone and Iwas like, wow, I'm gonna have a
cell phone.
I was so excited.
But really, what it was was hisway of tracking me.
So prior to these cell phonescoming out, I went into the
supermarket one day and hecalled the supermarket and my
(37:17):
name was called on theloudspeaker.
And I'm like, are somebodycalling is somebody calling my
name?
Like seriously?
So I go up and I'm like, I thinksomebody's paging me, and I
said, Yeah, you have a phonecall.
And I get on the phone, it washim.
He just wanted to make sure Iwas actually at the supermarket.
But then when we got the cellphones, I kid you not, I
couldn't have been back out ofthe house yet.
(37:37):
He would make sure, you know,where I was every moment of the
day.
He would call me and like, whereare you?
I'm like, I'm just now leaving.
Two minutes later, call me back.
And this is when he was at hisjob.
So he would call, like, and andif the and you know what the bad
part was, there was a time thathis mother, his father was
abusive too.
So, you know, that kind of getspassed down to their children as
(37:59):
well.
So I'm outside, I select outsidewith my kids to be outside in
the fresh air, which I was notallowed to do.
So I go outside and apparentlyhe had been calling the house
and the phone, uh, the cordlessphone died or something, but he
couldn't reach me.
So he called his mother, and hismother showed up at my house and
she reported back to him thatshe caught me, she caught me
outside with the kids.
(38:19):
And I got in so much trouble forthat.
Like he would try and make itlike, oh, you know, it's not
safe for you outside, somebody'sgonna kidnap you or the kids, or
they're gonna hurt you.
And he always flipped it like hewas concerned for our safety.
So it's like, okay, so backinside you go.
SPEAKER_00 (38:35):
It's like and it's like, no, with technology today,
you know, uh the there's goodand bad.
Uh take I'm not downplaying life360 or anything like that for
you, you know, tracking yourkids or your family, you know,
just for no safety purposes andnot the stalkerish side of it,
(38:56):
but some people, but I can seethis where that can be used for
nefarious purposes of somebody.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, there.
Why is she over there?
Why are they over there?
And if you if you don't realize,go ahead.
SPEAKER_02 (39:11):
What's really bad is whenever it messes up.
Yeah, because it happened to memultiple times is he's tracking
me.
And well, it says that you are ablock away.
I'm not, I am right here.
I'm standing.
SPEAKER_01 (39:25):
Yeah, yeah.
I have that, I have it on mycar, so I have the tracker on my
car, and it will give an addressthat's like close by, but not,
and I have a satellite so I canactually see, but sometimes it's
like the address is not whereI'm at, even though it's like
within even in, I don't know,100 feet or 500 feet, but it
will look like you're lying.
(39:45):
So if a person is tracking yousees that and you say, Well, I'm
over here at the supermarket,but it's showing you like, you
know, right down the street,that can be a problem for you.
I was, you know, you know, therewe didn't have that technology
when maybe they did it.
I just didn't have it, but asfar as I know, we didn't have
that ability to do that kind ofstuff back then, which would
have been a good thing.
(40:06):
Yeah, because he tracked meanyway, he was following me
everywhere I went.
So it was fairly hard.
But yeah, technology can be goodand got good and bad, that's for
sure.
SPEAKER_00 (40:14):
Yeah, and it's no, if you for like a person in
domestic violence, you know, ifthey are allowed to leave to go
somewhere, and now withtechnology these days, you've
got these little air tags andstuff where people can just put
on and you not be aware of it,and they can track you that way
to you know, if it's in adomestic violence situation in a
(40:36):
robbery, or you know, peoplefinding uh uh steal from you or
attack you.
No just things that people needshould be aware of.
I think that no, this couldhappen.
I know a lot of phones thesedays have you know where you
especially if they're Bluetooth,have Bluetooth technology where
they're tracking is no, they youknow, you can identify a tracker
(40:59):
uh victimity and stuff, and no,that's a good thing to be aware
of, but uh it's something thatuh another little thing that you
know being aware of and you knowif you're in a situation or if
you see somebody puttingsomething up under a car or
something like that, you know,there might be something going
(41:19):
on there, but yeah, just beingbeing aware of you know
situations, uh of you knowattitudes, uh I'm one that I'll
I'll talk to anybody and Ipretty much don't have a filter
most of the time, so I'll speakwhat's on my mind, and if you
(41:39):
know if I go up to somebody, youokay?
And I get you know a lot ofpeople, yeah, I'm fine, or yeah,
I'm good.
SPEAKER_03 (41:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (41:46):
And just body language, recognizing body
language because you can't hideyour body language.
Your body language is somethingthat's comes naturally.
Yeah, you can mask it a littlebit, but it's still going to
deep down you see the eyes uhdarting or the the head nodding
down or or no something, justbeing aware of the different
(42:09):
types of body language ofsomebody that's in distress.
SPEAKER_01 (42:12):
You're right about that, Brian.
You know what, too?
So you know I'll do I have a theother company is Safe Hire 360,
that we do workplace violentprevention, and part of our
program is domestic violencespillover, and we talk about
everything you just said abouthow to identify that person
because a lot of times theworkplace is a safe haven for
that victim.
They have nowhere else to go,but it's also a situation where
(42:34):
that their attacker, theirabuser knows where they work and
they can be ambushed.
So we help, you know, educatethe employers on domestic
violence, what are the signs,what to do if you suspect you
know, somebody that's workingfor you is going through that
and the ways that you can helpthem.
Because there are people thatreally have nobody else they can
go to.
SPEAKER_04 (42:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (42:54):
But if they have a job, that might just be their
outlet or some kind of way tolet someone know what's going on
at home and possibly get help.
SPEAKER_02 (43:03):
So you're you're 100% right about the job thing,
especially for like mysituation, because it took me,
it took me a few years toconvince my captor that I should
go back to work.
And I finally did by groomingdogs for Petco.
The reason he agreed to it isthe Petco that I applied to had
(43:25):
a glass wall.
So from the outside, you couldsee into the groom, and he
parked right outside of it andwatched me all day while I
worked.
And people thought it was weird,and I had to make like excuses.
Excuses, right, and but the dayI I chose to leave, I told my
(43:51):
coworkers and my boss, I said,Hey, tonight I am leaving my
captor, and here's what'shappened.
Do not call the police or I willbe dead.
Let me escape.
If I don't call you in themorning, I'm dead.
(44:12):
And they as soon as I arrived atthe domestic violence shelter,
they were the first people Icalled to say, Hey, I'm alive.
You can call the police, tellthem what happened.
SPEAKER_01 (44:22):
Right.
When this happened to you, soyou escaped from your place of
employment.
Did you go out like a back dooror something to get away?
SPEAKER_02 (44:30):
No, I actually I told them the day of because I'd
planned I had planned for Okay,okay, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, I I actually escaped frommy home.
SPEAKER_01 (44:39):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (44:40):
And I the the game plan was I put on Harry Potter
because it's long and it getsloud and fell asleep.
And I just and I got everythingI needed, skedaddled and ran
straight to the fire department.
SPEAKER_01 (44:58):
Yeah, that was a really smart move because I know
we have this saying what startsat home is finished at work when
it comes to domestic violence.
And I've worked with familiesthat have lost their loved ones
who are ambushed in parkinglots, or even worse though, when
they come into the job andthere's other people that get
injured, their collateral damagebasically.
So next thing you know, I go outto take you out and there's some
(45:19):
co-workers and they get injuredas well or killed.
So it's a serious problem, but Ithink that's something where the
workplace can do a lot forvictims of these types of
crimes.
But a lot of not a lot of peopleare aware of it.
They don't know what they can door they don't know the signs.
But in your situation, I can't Isee why he allowed you to work
because he had it, you know,it's like a fishbowl.
(45:41):
They can watch everything thatyou were doing.
SPEAKER_02 (45:43):
Yeah, it it was a fishbowl.
And I recall one time, and Istill I actually still have the
report because police showed upat my job because of him.
Um, he had pulled into a parkinghandicapped parking spot.
And someone who was handicappedpulled up, started an argument
with him, and he punched thisguy.
And so the my job had to make areport on it, but the police
(46:06):
recalled.
The officer that showed up wentto high school with us and was
like, no big nothing.
Yeah.
And my job, that was that waskind of the the original them
being like, hey, it's kind ofweird that he sits there, right?
SPEAKER_01 (46:22):
You know, that's something where and a job can
implement that into theirpolicies.
If there is a situation where aa spouse, a boyfriend,
girlfriend, whoever is out inthe parking lot, say we have a
policy here that we don't allowsignificant others to remain on
property for an extended amountof time.
And that way, if something didcome up, you can say, Listen,
it's a policy.
Now they they may get mad,absolutely, but at least you
(46:44):
have that, and that's just theway it is, so that they know
that they can't just sit thereand lingering around all day
long.
unknown (46:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (46:51):
Well, they listen to it, you never know.
Well, but at least there'ssomething in place.
SPEAKER_00 (46:56):
Yeah, and you also have to be aware on the employer
side, you know, you may have twoemployees that work office jobs
that you know they may have asituation going on outside of
work, but they play play well, Iguess is the best way to say it,
but in front of everybody atwork.
But you know, that's where theemployers need to step up.
(47:18):
And now, if you do have ahusband wife working to really
be aware of some of the thingsthat you know could happen.
Uh oh yeah.
It's little triggers and andthings that no, hey, this
doesn't seem right.
No, we need to do, hey, we'regonna have an evaluation of
Mary.
Uh Mary, come into the office.
(47:39):
We're gonna have an evaluationand no use it as a segue to
discuss, hey, are you okay?
You know, and stuff like that.
And that's that's a reallything.
One of the things that I knowwith domestic violence is the
the attackers usually want to beclose by to watch, to keep track
(48:01):
of.
So, no, if they can get into thesame work spot as you and work
the same shift, like an officejob, no, that's just I won't say
a breeding ground, but it's justa something that makes it
convenient for that situation tocontinue.
SPEAKER_01 (48:16):
And yeah, very toxic.
And it's and that goes like Iwas saying about educating the
employers on those red flags orthe signs that a person's being,
you know, in a situation withdomestic violence.
What are the red flags?
You got people that miss work,you know, or just they're not
there, they're disengaged, orsomething's not right.
And obviously, if it's physicalabuse, you you might have the
(48:37):
physical elements of it.
But it's really educating themon what are the signs and then
giving them the tools that theyneed to address it.
Because you can't just come outand say, hey, you look like shit
today, or you got a black eye,or you know, what's your
attitude?
You're not, you know, your yourjob is slackened, what's going
on with you, what's wrong withyou?
It's in the delivery of themessage, and also making sure
(48:58):
that they have the resources tohandle a situation.
Like if it's if they know for afact that a person is going
through domestic violence, whatare you gonna do about it?
Also, you know, if if there'sbeen any arrests made, public
records, things that they cansearch, if they they suspect
that somebody's gonna besomeone's in that situation, let
me go out and do a little recordsearch and see if I can find
(49:19):
anything.
So there's some things that youcan do to try and help the
victims.
SPEAKER_00 (49:26):
Well, start out with you, Cask.
I'll ask you the same thing,Crystal, since you've been in
the situation.
If you had something or somejust a couple of things that you
wish people would have paid moreattention to that you know,
where you were trying to tellpeople or or you know, kind of
get somebody's attention that,hey, this is going on.
(49:48):
What are some things that youwish people would have
recognized and that they didn'tor that they missed uh that you
you you want to bring out thatyou know, hey, people watch for
this.
Is there anything, Cass?
SPEAKER_02 (50:03):
You know, hey, it's it's weird because I try to
think about it, and there's justso many instances that I really
tried to reach out for help, andI was kind of just kind of blown
off in a way.
The majority of the time it itwas with law enforcement.
(50:24):
Me physically even saying help,just it didn't, it didn't really
it help didn't register, yes.
But I I do recall one time Itold a friend and I said I said
(50:45):
he hit me and my friend goes,Well, I can't I don't want to
get involved and I can't helpyou, but here is a web there's a
website for domestic violencefibers, and this is maybe two
years into the 13 years that Idealt with.
(51:08):
And I think I trusted them somuch that I thought that saying
something to them they'd rescueme.
Um and I I I guess a part of mefelt like I guess I just have to
rescue myself.
And I I wish there was just away we could change that.
(51:33):
And I don't know if there iswithout full everybody around
truly taking it seriously.
I feel like unfortunately,survivors are still gonna feel
like they have to rescuethemselves.
SPEAKER_01 (51:47):
And I I agree a hundred percent with that.
Yeah, I know when I was taken, Iwas at a traffic light, you can
either go left or right.
So I back then we had theroll-down windows, so I rolled
my windows down and I'm yellingat the two people beside us for
help.
And the police call the copsbecause I'm being kidnapped, you
know, I need help.
And they rolled up their windowand just drove off.
(52:11):
So ever since then for myself,anytime I suspect or I see
something that's something's notright with this situation, I get
involved.
I remember I saw a guy beating awoman.
He was in the she was in thepassenger side and he was just
beating her through the window.
So I stayed at a safe differentdistance, but I called 911 and I
end up following them.
Obviously, I wasn't right onthem so they couldn't tell.
(52:33):
And the police end up stoppingthem.
So I will get involved as abystander, even though I don't,
I may not go up to them andphysically try and grab somebody
because that will, you know, Icould get in trouble myself or
get injured or killed.
But I still try to play my partin helping somebody in that
situation just because of thefact that I didn't have that
(52:54):
help.
And just like you said, mybiggest thing was with law
enforcement because I couldn'tget help.
Anytime I got tried to reach outfor help, I was told that I was
going to be arrested.
My children were gonna be taken.
So I didn't have any confidencein law enforcement.
And I'm not judging them becauseyou know it could be training
or, like we said, the fatigue ofit.
(53:14):
But I wish that somebody wouldhave listened to me in law
enforcement.
And I know for a fact, just someyears ago, my daughter went
through the same thing, and Ihad an encounter with law
enforcement, and they basicallytold me I was being an
overbearing mother and just lether live her life.
And even though I knew that atthe time when she was taken, I
was getting text messages, butit wasn't her.
(53:35):
So when I told the policeofficer, I said, listen, this is
not her writing this, this isthe person that has her being
held captive, and she'spregnant.
And I was basically laughed atand mocked.
SPEAKER_04 (53:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (53:47):
And so I know that it's not there yet in law
enforcement where they takethese cases seriously.
It wasn't until after I hadgiven them some information and
told them that I also had workedin law enforcement and I had to
reach out to one of my oldfriends who was in law
enforcement still, she made acall and then they jumped on it.
And I told them, why do you haveto wait?
(54:09):
I mean, every one of these casesis very important.
Don't wait for somebody have touse if they're former law
enforcement or former ofsomething or worked in law
enforcement in that capacity.
It's not right.
SPEAKER_02 (54:19):
Yeah, you you make a great point because it wasn't
until I married my husband, mywho was in who's in law
enforcement 10 years lawenforcement now in the private
sector.
But that it my my captor hadmultiple warrants out for him.
Multiple.
(54:40):
We he my husband and I gotmarried, and he made one phone
call.
Hey, he's right here.
We know where he's at.
Yeah, he's arrested the nextday.
Yeah, but I call the kids andnothing.
Hey, he's right here, nothing.
SPEAKER_01 (54:56):
Nothing, yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:59):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (55:00):
Yeah, we have to do better with that.
SPEAKER_00 (55:02):
Yeah.
All right.
Well, how hard was it for you tobecome an author to Casa and
write this book, uh, Water Cure?
SPEAKER_02 (55:12):
Oh my goodness.
It was the hardest thing I'veever done.
And I honestly think I thinkthat's crazy because of
everything that I've gonethrough, I first off, I'm
dyslexic.
So I I had been, you know, Iwhen I first started the social
media aspect, I was writing likethese quotes and it started
(55:34):
turning into poems.
I had all of these journals,everything that happened to me.
And whenever I like smushed themtogether chronologically, I was
like, this doesn't make sense.
This is a horrible book.
So I had to completely think outof the box.
And then once I finally had itwritten, that's when the hell of
(55:59):
it all started.
Like it was even worse becauseyou have to go through editing
and all of this stuff.
But to finally set it down, itfeels like I'm setting down a
piece of my soul, and I canfinally close the chapter of
what is the worst part of mylife.
And maybe someone reads it andthey're like, Oh my gosh, like I
(56:23):
know how to help this.
That's kind of the goal of it.
And hopefully it scares a fewpeople too.
SPEAKER_00 (56:31):
I think that's I'm excited.
A lot of people get over thesituation similar to yours.
No, whether it's uh domesticviolence, uh an attack or
something, is by writing aboutit, even journaling about it,
uh, helps get it out of yourmind and just uh hopefully help
you put it behind you as closingthat chapter and no using it for
(56:56):
you know a remind for you knowsomebody else in the future that
you know, hey, uh this is Ididn't know this uh all this
happened, or I wish I would haveknown she was this person was
doing this, or this was why theywere acting this way, and and
things like that.
And I I'm glad that uh you wereable to get everything in your
(57:16):
book form.
And uh sorry I didn't get to dothe pre-read uh stuff, but no,
that was the the year that I wasgoing through stuff and I I
really wanted to, but I've gotmy book pre-ordered on Amazon,
so exciting.
SPEAKER_02 (57:31):
Yeah, I I will say you you said you said something
important, someone reading it,and then realizing, well, I
could have done somethingdifferent there.
I I actually had my mother readit.
And when I had been raped and myorgans were dying in the
hospital, there was a part and Iput it in the book and I looked
(57:53):
at her and I said, Mom, I gothurt because of sex.
And she goes, No, honey, it youjust your your ovaries, they
just they they failed.
And I looked at her and I justdidn't have the energy to like
finally so out of it.
(58:14):
And my mom said that was thehardest thing for me to read
because I remember you saying itand I dismissed you, and I
thought I was just keeping youcalm because I knew you were in
pain, and you know, getting thatout there, and it just it's so
(58:38):
it relieving, and it is onAmazon, Barnes Noble everywhere.
The audiobook will be on Audibleand iTunes.
So I'm just I'm thrilled.
I'm thrilled to finally letpeople hear what the horrors are
like, but also get to hear anincredible story of love and
(59:05):
strength.
unknown (59:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (59:06):
I'm so proud of you, by the way.
And I'm gonna share it.
I'm gonna write a LinkedIn thingabout our post, and then I'm
gonna share it so they can goand find your book too.
Because I mean, every day isdomestic violence awareness day.
It's not like a month.
We don't need just a month, weneed it every day.
So I'm definitely gonna shareyour story and and post it and
share it.
Uh and I do, like I said, I workwith mothers that have lost
(59:28):
their children to domesticviolence.
One particular was shot in thepark and that was horrible.
So it's a good story to share,and I'm very proud of you.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (59:38):
And if I if I remember seeing, right, uh it's
kind of sparked your interest.
You're working on anotherproject coming down the road,
aren't you?
SPEAKER_02 (59:46):
Um I got really excited about this one, and my
husband's super excited aboutit.
It is gonna be a science fictionthriller.
So I'm taking my joy that Idiscovered from writing this
book, Water Cure, into this newrealm.
And it mixes my love of sciencefiction with government
(01:00:07):
conspiracy and true historicalfacts.
And it is based in the 90s, andwe travel with a character named
Lydia Gray as she becomes sortof a secret agent to a
government that is somewhatunderground.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:29):
Okay.
All right.
That's good.
And if I remember, well, I I doremember, but part of what you
know knowing you from you knowsearching up uh firearms
instructors whenever I gotstarted and I started following
you.
I know what two years ago youdid an article with a friend of
(01:00:51):
mine, Trampus Swanson, on his inhis magazine, uh the life the
the lifestyles shoot.
Armed lifestyle.
Armed lifestyle, yeah.
I and he'll kill me because I II did an interview with him on
his magazine about his magazine,but yeah, it's an online
magazine.
But I encourage people to to gocheck that out as well.
(01:01:14):
I will see if I can find thatlink to that and I'll put it in
the show notes as well as someother things.
And I I appreciate you you knowcoming on and talking about
this.
I think it's again it'ssomething that I feel is never
talked about enough.
You know, and there's othertopics out there that that are
(01:01:34):
just as important, but you know,again, with this month being the
the awareness month that's beengiven for domestic violence, I I
thought this would be a realgood re-entrelaun video of or
podcast to do, and then alsohelp you with bringing awareness
to domestic violence and thenyou know promoting your book,
(01:01:57):
uh, which I'm excited that youdid.
And you and I'm glad that it'shelping you to close that that
section of your your life uh uhto a point that you know things
have happened.
Crystal, you got anything elseyou want to add?
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:14):
No, I just I think it's a great conversation we had
that we can go on and on forlike a long time because it's
such a major problem and issuethat so many of us face.
But yeah, but I would love tokeep in contact with you.
So after we get off here, I'dlike to get your your your
website and your bookinformation so I can share it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:33):
Okay.
All right.
Well on that as on that note,how can people that want to
contact you, Cass, how can theywhat's the best way to reach out
to you?
SPEAKER_02 (01:02:43):
There's multiple avenues depending on what you're
interested in.
If you're looking for um mybook, you can go to Cass McGuire
author on Facebook, or if you'relooking for my book and
everything else, you can look upStar Snoop Dog one word on all
(01:03:06):
platforms, uh including YouTube,Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.
If you're wanting to connect fora business reason and cast
Maguire on LinkedIn, so yeah, uhthat's those are the best ways
to reach me.
If if you're local in Oklahomaand you just want martial arts
classes with me, mm-okd.com.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03:30):
Okay.
All right.
And of course, we've alreadytalked about the where to find
your book and everything, anduh, I'll put in some links for
that uh also in the show notes.
Anything else you want to closewith, Cass?
SPEAKER_02 (01:03:45):
Uh I don't think so, Brian.
I really am thankful that youhad me on.
Crystal, it was lovely meetingyou.
Let's definitely connect.
But yeah, thank you for usfinally getting to do this.
I know it's been over a year ofwork in progress.
Yeah, but we found the time andthen I'm thankful to be here.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:03):
Okay, sounds good.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:04):
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:06):
Well, I will have uh show notes uh on contact
information, books, training.
And if you have any questions,feel free to reach out or no, if
you need anything, some tips orno, if you're still you know,
you want to talk to somebody,reach out to any of us.
Uh you can direct message me onthe podcast web page of reach
(01:04:30):
out to Cass or Crystal if youwant some information or if you
know need to help with a exitstrategy or or you know personal
safety or something like that.
Reach out to them and can'thelp, can't leave out the
sponsors of the podcast.
Of course, one of them is ablackout coffee.
They they help support with uhcommissions and then also right
(01:04:52):
to bear legal protectionservices.
Uh check them out for yourself-defense uh insurance or
your self-defense uhprotections.
Uh check them out, and they'reall those links will be in the
show notes.
Thank you, and y'all have agreat day.
SPEAKER_01 (01:05:09):
Thank you, Brian.
Thank you, Cass.
SPEAKER_00 (01:05:13):
The views and opinions expressed in this
podcast are those of the hostand the guest, and do not
necessarily reflect the viewsand opinions of the podcast
publisher, the affiliate, or anyother entities.
The information contained inthis podcast is for
entertainment purposes only andcannot be distributed as
medical, legal, or financial.
The podcast publisher isaffiliate no responsibility, any
(01:05:36):
liability.
If you or someone you know thata domestic violence situation
needs help, they can call1-800-799.
(01:06:01):
1-800-799-7233, or they can textthe word START 2 88788, or find
more information on domesticviolence at www.thehotline.org.
Thank you.
Hi, welcome to the OnCard Podcast.
Two three episode two.
Today's crystal hour will beback into the podcasting with
our special guest requirement.
She is a domestic survivor offirearms and martial arts
instructors.
Thursday and first of domesticawareness.
(00:34):
Domestic South Awareness.
And story about encounter five.
So I hope you stay tuned.
We'll be getting back into moreepisodes of not like we were
(00:57):
before just yet, but uh we'regonna start releasing more
episodes and looking forward toreconnecting with our listeners
that we have.
Stay tuned, and here we go.
Hi, welcome to the ArmedGuardian Podcast.
I'm your host, Brian, here withour co-host Crystal, and our
guest today is Cass McGuire.
She is a domestic violencesurvivor, she's also a firearms
(01:22):
instructor, martial artsinstructor, advocate for
domestic violence, and she'salso an up-and-coming new
author.
She's got a book that's comingout uh into this month, and
she's here to kind of talk aboutit, promote it, tell a little
bit of her story.
And with this being Octoberbeing domestic violence
(01:42):
awareness month, uh that's whatthe topic of today is uh
domestic violence.
And I wanted to bring her on.
She's got an amazing story.
I'm uh started following herwhenever I got into firearms
instruction, trying to you knowlook for other instructors to
kind of follow a little bit,pick up some of the things, you
(02:03):
know, that camaraderie that uhwe try to look for.
And I fell across her and sawsome of her early stories and
videos that she had posted, andit was just something that I
said before I got the podcastgoing, it was something that I
was very adamant about trying topursue or to push awareness.
(02:26):
And now that I've got thepodcast going, I figured this
would be a perfect time.
And this has been a work inprogress with Cass and I.
It's taken a little over a year.
Of course, I took last year offuh for personal reasons, but
we've I've been trying to gether on, and today is the big day
we've got her on.
So, Cass, if you want to do anintroduction to yourself, tell
(02:49):
us a little about who CassMaguire is and what what you
what you do.
SPEAKER_02 (02:55):
Of course.
Yeah, like you said, my name'sCass Maguire.
I am a martial arts instructormostly nowadays.
I just had a a baby a year ago,so I haven't gotten to go with
the range nearly as much as Iwish to.
And I have been working on mybook, Water Cure, that's out on
(03:15):
Halloween.
Um, I I got into the socialmedia aspect in 2020 after
trying to kind of figure out howto relive again after surviving
13 years of domestic violence.
It really started off fairlysmall, and I was just on
(03:36):
Instagram, and I would writelike little quotes.
It was either some quote that Imade up that felt really deep to
me, or I would look at quotesfrom history, usually United
States history, and I'd put apicture, and it was a way for me
to get used to how my facelooked.
(04:00):
I had had a lot ofreconstructive surgery on my
face, and I didn't recognizemyself, and I kind of just
wanted to feel pretty again.
And people started kind offollowing me, and I then was
kind of pushed into hey, whydon't you go and be armed?
It's probably safer for you tobe armed.
(04:21):
And I started training so muchso that I was going two, three
times a week, and it became anew love for me.
The smell of the fireworks ofshooting and the feeling of all
the stress kind of going away.
I just I fell in love and Ibegan feeling empowered again.
(04:45):
Shooting gun truly empowered meto remember who I really was,
and I wanted to share it witheverybody.
And so I actually turned mysocial media public and just
started sharing my story,telling everybody how incredible
it was to feel reinvigoratedagain and have a passion again,
(05:10):
and kind of convinced trying toconvince people that this was
kind of the way.
Like just try it, you will loveit.
And after that, I I went intoprivate security and then went
to teaching martial arts, andhere I am after almost five
(05:32):
years of people saying youshould write a book about what
happened, finally putting itdown and getting it published
and letting people hear mystory, but in a different way.
It is a psychological thriller.
So I I'm really thrilled to behere, Brian, and thank you for
(05:52):
letting me come on and introducemyself.
SPEAKER_00 (05:54):
You're welcome.
Okay.
This is generally what we'vedone in the past with our
podcast is we will havequestions that we kind of
pre-tell people, our guests, youknow, hey, this is what we're
going to ask and everything.
But I thought this was one ofthese situations that would be
best situated by having an openconversation because it will
(06:18):
allow us to be you know flowthrough more responsively, you
know, go into more or lessdetail that we want to.
And I just thought it would bethe the best platform for us to
do for this segment.
So did your intros again, thisis for about domestic violence
awareness mostly and to promoteyour book, but uh tell us a
(06:41):
little bit about your yourstory.
Tell us a little bit about yourdomestic violence situation, if
you don't mind.
No, how how it uh happened, youknow, the stages that you've you
went through and stuff likethat.
SPEAKER_02 (06:55):
Yeah, of course.
I I was very young.
I actually met who I call mycaptor in middle school.
And sixth grade, me was, youknow, ooh, handsome football
player.
That's that was the mindset.
And I was a very nerdycheerleader who didn't really
(07:17):
get along with the girls.
So my mom put me in martialarts.
And by high school, I had earnedmy black belt and I started
really feeling confident in mynerdy self and kind of chased
after this guy and was head overheels.
It really did start off small,and he started pointing towards
(07:39):
my friends and saying, Well, youknow they don't really like you,
right?
You know they talk bad aboutyou, they make fun of you, they
think your hair is weird, theythey don't like how you dress.
And he really started pulling meaway from the people that I was
close to, and I didn't realizeit because I was like, Oh, he
(08:01):
wouldn't hurt me.
This this is this is love, buthe's just trying to protect me.
And it kind of moved more intohey, you shouldn't wear that.
You you look a little bit trashywhen you wear things like that.
You should wear this, and again,I'm like, he's just being nice,
(08:22):
he wants to, you know, make sureI don't look bad.
That's okay.
We moved in together right afterhigh school, and I was gonna go
to college, and he was like,Hey, you know, you're really
good at martial arts, you shouldjust there's no reason for you
to go to college reallyconvinced me that I should drop
out of college, and I I did.
(08:43):
And the more the more happened,I kind of I realized I started
not being able to hold money.
He started having him hold mydriver's license, like he wanted
to hold my driver's licensebecause I would lose it, and I
was very forgetful.
And I just I really didn't thinkmuch of it.
(09:03):
Um and the martial arts schoolthat I was teaching at, they the
owners had a divorce and therewas a big falling out, so I was
home a lot for a little bit.
And one day he came home while Ihad been home alone and
immediately started accusing meof being unfaithful to him.
And I was caught so off guard,and it was just like a switch in
(09:28):
his eyes.
His eyes grew dark, and hegrabbed a knife out of the
kitchen, and from there on he heforced me to remove my clothes
and searched my body and smelledme, and he still didn't believe
me.
And that was that was the firsttime it got really bad.
(09:49):
And he held me down andwaterboarded me.
That that was the first physicalincident, and it just continued
from there for years, it reallydid.
SPEAKER_00 (10:35):
They really gaslighted you into believing a
lot of the stuff, and that'sfrom what I've seen in my career
interactions, that's a big thingthat happens with people in
domestic violence situations.
They get gaslighted, they gettaught, get the thought in their
head that you know they're notworth the worth it, you know,
(10:57):
nobody else would be interestedin them and stuff like that.
And that's some of the thingsthat I think really step up and
people need to be aware of, youknow.
And Crystal and I were in thepre pre-recording, no, a lot of
people, why don't you justleave?
No, it's not that bad, or andstuff like that.
And they really can't understandit if they they haven't been in
(11:20):
it or know somebody that hasbeen in a situation like that.
They just can't wrap their headaround, you know, why you just
can't leave, why you just can'tcall for help and stuff like
that.
SPEAKER_01 (11:31):
Yeah, a lot of times they'll either downplay it or
they're they'll blame thevictim.
I've heard people say, well, ifyou didn't like it, you wouldn't
be there.
You wouldn't let it happen, youwould just leave.
But you don't know the person'scircumstances.
It could be financial, it couldbe fair.
I mean, in my situation, I hadto worry about my children being
killed.
(11:51):
So, and he would have done it.
It wasn't one of those thingswhere, oh, he's just talking,
this is a very dangerousindividual.
So it's not always easy toleave.
And for many situations where awoman, and it does happen in men
too, don't get me wrong, there'smen do have domestic violence as
well, maybe not as much aswomen, but there are those cases
where men are also victims.
And that's a situation wherewhen they do leave, there's a
(12:14):
very high possibility that theyare killed.
So it becomes a lot moredangerous when they do leave.
So we always have to take a lotof different things in
consideration and why somebody'sin and you know doesn't want to
leave or can't leave.
SPEAKER_04 (12:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:28):
Another thing that we were talking about earlier
was like in my situation, I wasstrangled.
And when if it wasn't for mydaughter walking in on it and
seeing me there, he would havefinished me off.
I would not be here right now.
And when the police arrived onscene, they told me that they
were gonna put my children in inthe DCF care, and then I was
gonna go to jail.
And so was the attacker.
(12:48):
So, what incentive is that to avictim to call for help if you
think your children are gonna betaken away from you and you're
gonna go to jail when you're avictim.
So there's a lot of things, ourour system is seriously flawed,
I can tell you that when itcomes to situations like this.
And like you were saying aboutyour your case, I don't know
about how it is today, but thiswas a very long time ago, of
(13:11):
what kind of training educationthey're giving to the officers
on scene.
SPEAKER_00 (13:16):
Right.
Yeah, it's not like uh I know inFlorida, uh the jurisdiction
that I was in, uh towards theend of my career with the agency
I was at, they started a thejudicial circuit started a
victim's awareness advocate thatwould respond out for certain
(13:37):
calls to try to, if there was anarrest, to try to intervene, or
if if there is a a victim thatwas injured, or you know,
something that the officer thatagain goes back to the officer's
discretion, that the officerfelt that you know somebody else
needed to intervene that maybehad a little bit more training,
a little bit more ways to handlea situation.
(14:00):
And no, that's something that Ithink I've seen it grow in the
good factor.
Uh a lot more officers aregetting better training.
Is it the best or is itsufficient?
Not by any means, but at leastit's a start uh advocating for
laws for domestic violence.
That's another thing.
(14:21):
The laws have changed.
I know before people youcouldn't figure out who it was,
or you know, they werecontradicting each other.
Well, arrest both of them andand let the courts uh now.
I know in Florida, what before Ileft, they were had passed a law
where if you could identify aprimary aggressor, you made that
arrest.
You you were mandated to makethat arrest.
SPEAKER_03 (14:43):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (14:44):
Yeah, eventually the courts would have to deal with
it, but no, at least you wereable to get that situation
separated and you know, allow uhallow some space for them to try
to work things out or get helpor you know whatever was needed.
SPEAKER_01 (15:00):
You know, you you know, another issue we have too
with law enforcement.
I'm not trying to knock anyonebecause it's a very tough job.
But sometimes they there's somany cases of domestic violence
that it's like when they getanother call, they're oh,
another one of those cases,another domestic violence.
And they don't always take itserious.
SPEAKER_04 (15:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
Because there's so many of them.
Then they get on scene, you knowhow it is, Brian.
You get on scene.
Nobody likes to go out todomestic violence situations
because it turns ugly.
So we're there to help you, butthen they turn around and go
after us.
You're the bad guys, you know,we don't want you here.
Yeah, they were just trying toget it helped because they were
in danger at that time, so itflipped.
So a lot of times officers arelike, oh, just another one of
(15:40):
these domestic violence cases,here we go again, you know, and
they don't want to deal withthat.
SPEAKER_00 (15:44):
Especially if it's the a a known couple that has
over and over problems, youknow, they say, Oh, here we go
again, they're arguing again anduh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:53):
Yeah, I will say I 100% agree.
My my husband is in lawenforcement, and um, he said
that it definitely is fatiguing.
And you know, whenever I I mademy escape in 2019, I actually I
had to really plan it out, um,which is an important step for
(16:15):
any survivor, any survivorlistening, making sure that you
have a plan because leaving isthe most dangerous part.
I tried to leave countless timesand got injured, and it was a
test and failed process on howto leave.
I left in the middle of thenight um and drove me and my son
to a fire station.
(16:36):
And when an officer showed up atthe fire station, his immediate
tonality was oh what now?
And I and the firefighters hadto step between the officer and
me and say, Hey, this this womanneeds help.
Or they started really workingum and finding me a place to go.
(17:00):
With that being said, as courtkind of went through, the
officer never made a policereport.
Um essentially, because I hadleft with no wounds um or
visible injuries, no policereport was made.
I was able to obtain a victimprotection order, an e an EVP.
(17:26):
Um and it took my my my sense ofjustice was it taking him not
showing for a um a a child, uh achild hearing for custody of the
child, and him being in jail,and him calling and begging to
be let out of jail, and mesaying, if you sign your rights
(17:49):
over, I'll drop, I'll we can wecan let things go.
And he said, Will I ever have topay any money to you?
And I said, No.
And as if my child was nothingmore than a transaction, he
signed his rights away.
SPEAKER_01 (18:04):
A bargaining chip.
SPEAKER_02 (18:06):
Yeah.
But the system definitely failedin many ways.
And even my attorney was like,You unless the state were to
somehow press charges, we wouldhave to take this to sit to
civil court case.
There, even though you havebecause I would I saved, I
prepared, I saved photos.
I wrote myself emails and sentthem to my son's tablet and in
(18:29):
like parental lock mode.
I I had everything photos, textmessages for three years of him
threatening to kill me andsaying, Oh, I just barely
stabbed you, like things likethat.
Like I had every bit of evidencebecause while I was going
through it, it was during theBrett Kavanaugh stuff that was
(18:51):
going on.
And I remember like listening toall these like political news
stories, and I'm like, wow, Idon't know what to believe.
So I thought, if I'm gonnaleave, I have to have proof
because I didn't know whether tobelieve some people who were
coming out against thesepoliticians.
So who would believe me, youknow?
And to then have all thisevidence and go to my attorney
(19:16):
and then say, I'm sorry, thestate failed you.
I can't, there's nothing we cando unless you want to press
civil charges.
That that was rough for me.
SPEAKER_01 (19:27):
You know, it was a good thing you were going, not
there was never a good thingthat you were going through, but
you had stuff that you can buildevidence evidence.
Well, I remember when I wasgoing through it, I had a little
voice recorder and I would tryand record stuff that he would
say.
And I was told that that wasgonna be used against me because
I was taking away his rights bynot informing him that I was
recording him.
(19:48):
No, I'm violating his rights.
I'm like, I'm violating hisrights because I'm recording him
saying he's gonna kill me, killmy children.
And they're like, you can'trecord that somebody else
without their knowledge.
So you have to let them know,hey, by the way, is it okay if I
record you threatening my lifeand my children's life?
He's gonna definitely say no.
SPEAKER_02 (20:14):
But I I will say the one time I was caught recording
was whenever I wound up with myfacial reconstruction because he
saw me recording, grabbed thephone, and I grabbed my son's
car seat and I started runningto a hospital that was like
across the street.
He grabbed me in front of thehospital.
(20:34):
There's people like everywhere.
SPEAKER_01 (20:36):
They don't care.
SPEAKER_02 (20:37):
Yeah, he punches me in the face, my jaw slits, and
he said, and like I wasbleeding.
And he was like, Tell them theOklahoma wind made the car door
hit it.
Go get yourself fixed up.
And I I mean, I did.
I was like, okay, I guess that'swhat I'm gonna do.
(20:57):
So it's it's easy.
SPEAKER_00 (21:03):
So from your domestic violence uh situation,
how did it transform you or howhas it transformed you into your
firearms training and martialarts training?
Has it kind of fueled you for toempower women or people in
general?
How's how's it helped you or orwhat was your goal and your
(21:26):
training methods that you haveusing this?
SPEAKER_02 (21:30):
Well, I think a part of me, because I was teaching
martial arts when I first was inthe relationship, like and I
went through it while teachingmartial arts.
There was a part of me that feltso bad about myself when I was
teaching people how to fight atmy job and then coming home and
(21:50):
not defending myself.
And then after leaving thesituation and getting into
firearms and going back intomartial arts training, there was
kind of this drive in me toteach people that it doesn't
matter if you know how to shootor if you know how to punch and
kick, if you don't love yourselfenough to use that ability, then
(22:17):
you you can know all this allthis stuff and never truly
protect yourself.
And I truly believe that thereason it was so hard on me was
I I didn't love myself and I Iput my faith of loving myself
into somebody else rather thanlove myself purely.
And I wasn't mentally strongenough to use the knowledge I
(22:39):
had to protect myself.
And so now as I teach, I I tryto not just teach you how to do
it, but how your brain mentallyneeds to be that state of mind
that you need to be in toactually pull the trigger, to
actually harm somebody.
(23:00):
Because some people, I was oneof those people who never really
wanted to actually ever harmanybody.
Like the thought of me breakingsomebody's nose, I would feel
bad, you know?
And the reality is if we have todefend ourselves, we have to
mentally be prepared not onlyfor the damage we can cause on
(23:23):
other people, but theramifications of your mental
health after that damage iscaused.
Not just the law part of it,which I know a lot of people
preach the hey, remember, if youshoot, you have to still go
through all these legal things,but the mind of it is also very
hard to handle.
(23:44):
And I want to help others, ifthey ever are in a situation to
defend themselves, that theymentally are prepared and don't
go through as much trauma andPTSD as I did recovering from
it.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
Yeah, that's one of the things that the mental the
mental aspect.
Now I've done, and I'm sure weall have done firearms training,
and people say, Well, I want toget a firearm to protect myself,
but I don't know if I can pullthe trigger and no shoot
somebody, whether it's just thefear of injuring somebody,
religious beliefs, or whatever,but they want to get this
(24:26):
training and just overcomingthat aspect, that thought that
they have to prepare them, youknow, if they had to, that they
could protect themselves.
And then the after effects, likeyou said, the dealing with the
emotional PS PTSD, the thetrauma, the things that are
gonna, the nightmares and stuffthat'll come back uh
(24:48):
potentially, and how to dealwith those and seeking help to
deal with those because a lot ofpeople, some are strong-willed,
strong-minded, that it may notaffect them to the extent that
it may affect somebody else inthat same situation.
So uh that's what was you know,one of the things I wish
firearms instructors wouldreally delve into whenever they
(25:12):
teach is the yeah, teach themthe basics, teach them you know
the laws for self-defense, butalso go into the mental or the
aftermath what happens.
Uh, because a lot of peoplethink, you know, too, hey, if I
shoot somebody and they'reattacking me and I shoot them
and and they die or they gethurt or something, I'm good to
(25:35):
go.
A lot of them don't realize thatthey're probably gonna get
detained or handcuffs slapped onthem, at least taken down to the
station to be interviewed orsomething, especially if there's
a death.
No, uh, and a lot of people theythey start what if that happens
to them, they start freezing,they start second-guessing, and
if they're not aware of how tohandle or you know, expect these
(25:55):
things, then it can kind ofthrow them into that severe PTSD
aspect of oh crap, this is notwhat I thought, and have a
problem dealing with it in theend.
SPEAKER_02 (26:11):
Go ahead, Kess.
I would say um one of theexamples I give to my students,
um, and this is a true story.
I was sitting in my car in aparking lot, and I had the
windows rolled down slightly,and I was just kind of like
resting my eyes, and I felt ahand reach into my car and it
(26:35):
grabbed my shoulder.
Now, my martial arts trainingkicked in, and this is
post-abuse, and I grabbed thearm, pulled it, the person's
head hit the door.
I opened my car and I held themto the door.
And as I'm holding them and I'mseeing blood on my like window
from their head hitting it, Irealize this is a homeless man
(27:00):
that was probably just trying toask me for money.
And I I called the I called thepolice.
I'm like, hey, I just hurt thisguy.
I he reached in my car, andthey're like, Well, he did reach
in your car, which is againstthe law, so you had the right to
defend yourself.
But maybe next time, be aware.
(27:25):
And I was like, Yes, I Iprobably shouldn't have done
that.
But like to this day, itbothers.
I feel so bad for that man.
Like, I broke his nose.
He did break the law, and he wasprobably just asking for money,
but the mental aspect is stillthere, like something that small
of injury, and especiallyteaching martial arts.
(27:47):
I I try to teach even my youngerkids hey, if you hurt somebody
at school protecting yourself,you're gonna you might feel bad
about it.
But it's good that you protectedyourself.
SPEAKER_00 (27:58):
Yeah, and it's good, no, people being us aware of
their situation, uh, situationalawareness and everything,
because in that situation, justthink if you know, you still had
your window down and somebodysaw you with no sleeping and
stuff.
Hey, is she passed out?
Is she you know unconscious orsomething?
Let me wake her up and then thathappening, just knowing a little
(28:22):
bit, you know, maybe cracking itwhere somebody can't get their
arm in, maybe shake or knock onthe car or something.
But no, it's just being for theconcealed carrier, it's being
aware of you know situations,uh, yeah, we're trained, like
you, you're you you reacted howyou trained to you know protect
yourself, you know, someonegrabbing you, and you know,
(28:44):
that's all fine and dandy, butwe also have to be aware of you
know what did we get too laidback or too lax in our
situational awareness by leavingthe window open for them to put
their hand in and stuff.
So a lot a lot of sit, you know,a lot of topics can come from
this discussion and things thatwe just sometimes are aren't
(29:08):
aware of.
It's like with uh people goingout carrying a firearm, and you
know, a lot of people you ask,well, where are you gonna sit in
a a restaurant?
You have a choice of a table ora booth, you know, where are you
gonna go?
And you know, a lot of peoplethey like the booths, but you
know, the table is where youwant to go, you want to scan the
exits and stuff, and a lot ofpeople just don't think about
(29:31):
that.
So it's just being aware.
SPEAKER_01 (29:34):
Yeah, we have to be very proactive.
And I think a lot of thesethings, like as far as myself
being a firearm instructor aswell, and do public safety
education, I feel as thoughsince most of the time we get a
call when something has alreadyhappened.
So when it comes to domesticviolence, I think it's really
important that we start at areally early age educating our
children on what dem whatdomestic violence is, what are
(29:57):
the signs, red flags, becausethey're more equipped to deal
with it.
So I personally do programsstarting in middle school.
Cass, as you mentioned, right?
You were in middle school whenyou met your abuser.
So if we're able to go in at anearly age and start educating
these children so they know whatthe red flags are so they can
avoid it, we're already at anadvantage.
SPEAKER_04 (30:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (30:19):
Unfortunately, it's too late for many of us that
have already gone through it.
But we really need to focus alot on that education
beforehand.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Right.
Uh see.
From your sit the scenario thator the situation that you were
in, I know you've become a lotmore uh active being an advocate
for women's uh personal safety,domestic violence.
(30:48):
Has how has this impacted,especially with your upcoming
book?
I know this was a big step foryou, probably talk you know,
talking about some of the stuffor putting some of the stuff in
written form for everybody tosee.
How what kind of advocacy areyou currently doing?
Uh you doing have you talkedwith law officers, for uh
(31:09):
attorneys, uh you know, whatwhat kind of advocacy have you
taken or have you been led downthat path yet?
SPEAKER_02 (31:18):
So um for the most part, I I've been pretty local
in some like personal aspects.
I try to, of course, continuesocial media and promote
advocacy nationwide, but here inOklahoma, we are ranked number
one nationally for domesticviolence as of this year.
(31:38):
And the the domestic violencerate against women has increased
drastically.
We were three whenever I wasdealing with the situation.
What I do is I regularly havefree women's self-defense
workshops featured on most newschannels here in Oklahoma, where
women can come in and it is afun, interactive class with
(32:05):
sprinkles of information.
And it it is, I make it veryhumorous and very fun to where
you come away not only feelingempowered because you're able to
do some really cool things, butyou learn kind of a reality of
(32:26):
the situation of why it's soimportant to be able to defend
yourself and how to talk to yourkids about about being safe and
protecting themselves from everwinding up in a situation that
they would need to defendthemselves.
On top of that, I do privatelessons for women who have
(32:47):
recently left the domesticviolence shelter.
And um I help coach women whoreach out to me locally on
creating plans.
Um about three months ago, I hada friend from school who knew me
and my captor.
(33:08):
And she said, Hey, leave, thisis what's going on, and you
help.
And I was like, sure.
So I just buckled down and gaveher a plan.
We walked through a plan and sheshe made it out with her kids,
and he's currently in jail forwhat he did.
SPEAKER_00 (33:37):
Well, that's great.
Uh, and I know, Crystal, I knowyou you've been through some of
it, and I know a little bitabout your advocacy, you know,
with some of your workshops,your classes that you do.
Have you have you had any orattempted to have any impact
with the judicial or even withthe the awareness of in in your
(33:58):
community or in in the state ofFlorida?
SPEAKER_01 (34:01):
Not in in the law enforcement sector per se, but I
do more community-wide events orprivate lessons or discussions.
But really, like lawenforcement, I'm in the process
of developing some sort of aprogram that we could implement
and try and get it out there.
In regards to, like we were justsaying, about them understanding
from a victim's point of view.
(34:22):
Because it's a very sensitive,you know, very it's just a
really touchy thing for thevictim.
SPEAKER_04 (34:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (34:29):
It's very hard to deal with and break through to
these people and try and getthem the help and the resources
that they need.
So I hope to develop somethingsooner than later that can be
implemented and get them onboard.
Otherwise, it's just, you know,community events and public or
personal stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (34:46):
Okay.
Yeah, uh, no, that's kind ofwhere having been on the law
enforcement side and stuff andknowing a few people personally
that have been involved indomestic violence situations,
uh, the advocacy for it is, youknow, I've I've done I've done
classes, I've always tried topass on, you know, whenever I'm
(35:07):
talking to law enforcementofficers or you know, to people
at my church and stuff, try tobring awareness to you know,
being sensitive, uh receptive topeople, because you know,
sometimes even just the smallestnugget of that they may display
that they need help, uh, you youcould make an impact on them.
(35:28):
And I I really think that thereI'm hoping that there's a lot
more that comes about uhdomestic violence awareness is
very you know needed very muchbecause so many people kind of
downplay it, you know, thatwell, if you weren't doing
something, no, it was your yourfault that it happened because
you weren't Oh yeah, youdeserved it.
SPEAKER_01 (35:47):
Yeah, that's what they'll say.
What did you do?
Well, what what's the truth?
There's two sides to this story.
What really happened?
I remember with my situation, wecould be driving in a vehicle
and I'll just breathe heavily,like something, you know, you
take a deep breath, and I get inso much trouble for that.
You know, what the F is yourproblem?
Why are you breathing like that?
And like I was just breathing,or if you get a hiccup or
(36:08):
something, it was like nothing,I'm not mad.
Or you have an attitude, soyeah.
It's just they get upset abouteverything.
SPEAKER_00 (36:17):
And go ahead, Cass.
SPEAKER_02 (36:19):
Um, I I I 100% understand.
I and and it's those littlethings I I think for me that
just like I think my mentalityeventually got to okay, you can
hit me all you want, but it'sthose little things really
irritating me right now thatyou're getting mad that I I
(36:39):
fixed my shirt.
Like you're really mad aboutthat.
It's not gonna cause you to gooff.
I I would rather it be I droppeda plate and then she punched
than I fixed my shirt.
Like are you?
SPEAKER_01 (36:55):
Yeah, it is so it is those little things.
I remember a time when I hadwhen cell phones first came out
and he got me a cell phone and Iwas like, wow, I'm gonna have a
cell phone.
I was so excited.
But really, what it was was hisway of tracking me.
So prior to these cell phonescoming out, I went into the
supermarket one day and hecalled the supermarket and my
(37:17):
name was called on theloudspeaker.
And I'm like, are somebodycalling is somebody calling my
name?
Like seriously?
So I go up and I'm like, I thinksomebody's paging me, and I
said, Yeah, you have a phonecall.
And I get on the phone, it washim.
He just wanted to make sure Iwas actually at the supermarket.
But then when we got the cellphones, I kid you not, I
couldn't have been back out ofthe house yet.
(37:37):
He would make sure, you know,where I was every moment of the
day.
He would call me and like, whereare you?
I'm like, I'm just now leaving.
Two minutes later, call me back.
And this is when he was at hisjob.
So he would call, like, and andif the and you know what the bad
part was, there was a time thathis mother, his father was
abusive too.
So, you know, that kind of getspassed down to their children as
(37:59):
well.
So I'm outside, I select outsidewith my kids to be outside in
the fresh air, which I was notallowed to do.
So I go outside and apparentlyhe had been calling the house
and the phone, uh, the cordlessphone died or something, but he
couldn't reach me.
So he called his mother, and hismother showed up at my house and
she reported back to him thatshe caught me, she caught me
outside with the kids.
(38:19):
And I got in so much trouble forthat.
Like he would try and make itlike, oh, you know, it's not
safe for you outside, somebody'sgonna kidnap you or the kids, or
they're gonna hurt you.
And he always flipped it like hewas concerned for our safety.
So it's like, okay, so backinside you go.
SPEAKER_00 (38:35):
It's like and it's like, no, with technology today,
you know, uh the there's goodand bad.
Uh take I'm not downplaying life360 or anything like that for
you, you know, tracking yourkids or your family, you know,
just for no safety purposes andnot the stalkerish side of it,
(38:56):
but some people, but I can seethis where that can be used for
nefarious purposes of somebody.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, there.
Why is she over there?
Why are they over there?
And if you if you don't realize,go ahead.
SPEAKER_02 (39:11):
What's really bad is whenever it messes up.
Yeah, because it happened to memultiple times is he's tracking
me.
And well, it says that you are ablock away.
I'm not, I am right here.
I'm standing.
SPEAKER_01 (39:25):
Yeah, yeah.
I have that, I have it on mycar, so I have the tracker on my
car, and it will give an addressthat's like close by, but not,
and I have a satellite so I canactually see, but sometimes it's
like the address is not whereI'm at, even though it's like
within even in, I don't know,100 feet or 500 feet, but it
will look like you're lying.
(39:45):
So if a person is tracking yousees that and you say, Well, I'm
over here at the supermarket,but it's showing you like, you
know, right down the street,that can be a problem for you.
I was, you know, you know, therewe didn't have that technology
when maybe they did it.
I just didn't have it, but asfar as I know, we didn't have
that ability to do that kind ofstuff back then, which would
have been a good thing.
(40:06):
Yeah, because he tracked meanyway, he was following me
everywhere I went.
So it was fairly hard.
But yeah, technology can be goodand got good and bad, that's for
sure.
SPEAKER_00 (40:14):
Yeah, and it's no, if you for like a person in
domestic violence, you know, ifthey are allowed to leave to go
somewhere, and now withtechnology these days, you've
got these little air tags andstuff where people can just put
on and you not be aware of it,and they can track you that way
to you know, if it's in adomestic violence situation in a
(40:36):
robbery, or you know, peoplefinding uh uh steal from you or
attack you.
No just things that people needshould be aware of.
I think that no, this couldhappen.
I know a lot of phones thesedays have you know where you
especially if they're Bluetooth,have Bluetooth technology where
they're tracking is no, they youknow, you can identify a tracker
(40:59):
uh victimity and stuff, and no,that's a good thing to be aware
of, but uh it's something thatuh another little thing that you
know being aware of and you knowif you're in a situation or if
you see somebody puttingsomething up under a car or
something like that, you know,there might be something going
(41:19):
on there, but yeah, just beingbeing aware of you know
situations, uh of you knowattitudes, uh I'm one that I'll
I'll talk to anybody and Ipretty much don't have a filter
most of the time, so I'll speakwhat's on my mind, and if you
(41:39):
know if I go up to somebody, youokay?
And I get you know a lot ofpeople, yeah, I'm fine, or yeah,
I'm good.
SPEAKER_03 (41:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (41:46):
And just body language, recognizing body
language because you can't hideyour body language.
Your body language is somethingthat's comes naturally.
Yeah, you can mask it a littlebit, but it's still going to
deep down you see the eyes uhdarting or the the head nodding
down or or no something, justbeing aware of the different
(42:09):
types of body language ofsomebody that's in distress.
SPEAKER_01 (42:12):
You're right about that, Brian.
You know what, too?
So you know I'll do I have a theother company is Safe Hire 360,
that we do workplace violentprevention, and part of our
program is domestic violencespillover, and we talk about
everything you just said abouthow to identify that person
because a lot of times theworkplace is a safe haven for
that victim.
They have nowhere else to go,but it's also a situation where
(42:34):
that their attacker, theirabuser knows where they work and
they can be ambushed.
So we help, you know, educatethe employers on domestic
violence, what are the signs,what to do if you suspect you
know, somebody that's workingfor you is going through that
and the ways that you can helpthem.
Because there are people thatreally have nobody else they can
go to.
SPEAKER_04 (42:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (42:54):
But if they have a job, that might just be their
outlet or some kind of way tolet someone know what's going on
at home and possibly get help.
SPEAKER_02 (43:03):
So you're you're 100% right about the job thing,
especially for like mysituation, because it took me,
it took me a few years toconvince my captor that I should
go back to work.
And I finally did by groomingdogs for Petco.
The reason he agreed to it isthe Petco that I applied to had
(43:25):
a glass wall.
So from the outside, you couldsee into the groom, and he
parked right outside of it andwatched me all day while I
worked.
And people thought it was weird,and I had to make like excuses.
Excuses, right, and but the dayI I chose to leave, I told my
(43:51):
coworkers and my boss, I said,Hey, tonight I am leaving my
captor, and here's what'shappened.
Do not call the police or I willbe dead.
Let me escape.
If I don't call you in themorning, I'm dead.
(44:12):
And they as soon as I arrived atthe domestic violence shelter,
they were the first people Icalled to say, Hey, I'm alive.
You can call the police, tellthem what happened.
SPEAKER_01 (44:22):
Right.
When this happened to you, soyou escaped from your place of
employment.
Did you go out like a back dooror something to get away?
SPEAKER_02 (44:30):
No, I actually I told them the day of because I'd
planned I had planned for Okay,okay, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, I I actually escaped frommy home.
SPEAKER_01 (44:39):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (44:40):
And I the the game plan was I put on Harry Potter
because it's long and it getsloud and fell asleep.
And I just and I got everythingI needed, skedaddled and ran
straight to the fire department.
SPEAKER_01 (44:58):
Yeah, that was a really smart move because I know
we have this saying what startsat home is finished at work when
it comes to domestic violence.
And I've worked with familiesthat have lost their loved ones
who are ambushed in parkinglots, or even worse though, when
they come into the job andthere's other people that get
injured, their collateral damagebasically.
So next thing you know, I go outto take you out and there's some
(45:19):
co-workers and they get injuredas well or killed.
So it's a serious problem, but Ithink that's something where the
workplace can do a lot forvictims of these types of
crimes.
But a lot of not a lot of peopleare aware of it.
They don't know what they can door they don't know the signs.
But in your situation, I can't Isee why he allowed you to work
because he had it, you know,it's like a fishbowl.
(45:41):
They can watch everything thatyou were doing.
SPEAKER_02 (45:43):
Yeah, it it was a fishbowl.
And I recall one time, and Istill I actually still have the
report because police showed upat my job because of him.
Um, he had pulled into a parkinghandicapped parking spot.
And someone who was handicappedpulled up, started an argument
with him, and he punched thisguy.
And so the my job had to make areport on it, but the police
(46:06):
recalled.
The officer that showed up wentto high school with us and was
like, no big nothing.
Yeah.
And my job, that was that waskind of the the original them
being like, hey, it's kind ofweird that he sits there, right?
SPEAKER_01 (46:22):
You know, that's something where and a job can
implement that into theirpolicies.
If there is a situation where aa spouse, a boyfriend,
girlfriend, whoever is out inthe parking lot, say we have a
policy here that we don't allowsignificant others to remain on
property for an extended amountof time.
And that way, if something didcome up, you can say, Listen,
it's a policy.
Now they they may get mad,absolutely, but at least you
(46:44):
have that, and that's just theway it is, so that they know
that they can't just sit thereand lingering around all day
long.
unknown (46:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (46:51):
Well, they listen to it, you never know.
Well, but at least there'ssomething in place.
SPEAKER_00 (46:56):
Yeah, and you also have to be aware on the employer
side, you know, you may have twoemployees that work office jobs
that you know they may have asituation going on outside of
work, but they play play well, Iguess is the best way to say it,
but in front of everybody atwork.
But you know, that's where theemployers need to step up.
(47:18):
And now, if you do have ahusband wife working to really
be aware of some of the thingsthat you know could happen.
Uh oh yeah.
It's little triggers and andthings that no, hey, this
doesn't seem right.
No, we need to do, hey, we'regonna have an evaluation of
Mary.
Uh Mary, come into the office.
(47:39):
We're gonna have an evaluationand no use it as a segue to
discuss, hey, are you okay?
You know, and stuff like that.
And that's that's a reallything.
One of the things that I knowwith domestic violence is the
the attackers usually want to beclose by to watch, to keep track
(48:01):
of.
So, no, if they can get into thesame work spot as you and work
the same shift, like an officejob, no, that's just I won't say
a breeding ground, but it's justa something that makes it
convenient for that situation tocontinue.
SPEAKER_01 (48:16):
And yeah, very toxic.
And it's and that goes like Iwas saying about educating the
employers on those red flags orthe signs that a person's being,
you know, in a situation withdomestic violence.
What are the red flags?
You got people that miss work,you know, or just they're not
there, they're disengaged, orsomething's not right.
And obviously, if it's physicalabuse, you you might have the
(48:37):
physical elements of it.
But it's really educating themon what are the signs and then
giving them the tools that theyneed to address it.
Because you can't just come outand say, hey, you look like shit
today, or you got a black eye,or you know, what's your
attitude?
You're not, you know, your yourjob is slackened, what's going
on with you, what's wrong withyou?
It's in the delivery of themessage, and also making sure
(48:58):
that they have the resources tohandle a situation.
Like if it's if they know for afact that a person is going
through domestic violence, whatare you gonna do about it?
Also, you know, if if there'sbeen any arrests made, public
records, things that they cansearch, if they they suspect
that somebody's gonna besomeone's in that situation, let
me go out and do a little recordsearch and see if I can find
(49:19):
anything.
So there's some things that youcan do to try and help the
victims.
SPEAKER_00 (49:26):
Well, start out with you, Cask.
I'll ask you the same thing,Crystal, since you've been in
the situation.
If you had something or somejust a couple of things that you
wish people would have paid moreattention to that you know,
where you were trying to tellpeople or or you know, kind of
get somebody's attention that,hey, this is going on.
(49:48):
What are some things that youwish people would have
recognized and that they didn'tor that they missed uh that you
you you want to bring out thatyou know, hey, people watch for
this.
Is there anything, Cass?
SPEAKER_02 (50:03):
You know, hey, it's it's weird because I try to
think about it, and there's justso many instances that I really
tried to reach out for help, andI was kind of just kind of blown
off in a way.
The majority of the time it itwas with law enforcement.
(50:24):
Me physically even saying help,just it didn't, it didn't really
it help didn't register, yes.
But I I do recall one time Itold a friend and I said I said
(50:45):
he hit me and my friend goes,Well, I can't I don't want to
get involved and I can't helpyou, but here is a web there's a
website for domestic violencefibers, and this is maybe two
years into the 13 years that Idealt with.
(51:08):
And I think I trusted them somuch that I thought that saying
something to them they'd rescueme.
Um and I I I guess a part of mefelt like I guess I just have to
rescue myself.
And I I wish there was just away we could change that.
(51:33):
And I don't know if there iswithout full everybody around
truly taking it seriously.
I feel like unfortunately,survivors are still gonna feel
like they have to rescuethemselves.
SPEAKER_01 (51:47):
And I I agree a hundred percent with that.
Yeah, I know when I was taken, Iwas at a traffic light, you can
either go left or right.
So I back then we had theroll-down windows, so I rolled
my windows down and I'm yellingat the two people beside us for
help.
And the police call the copsbecause I'm being kidnapped, you
know, I need help.
And they rolled up their windowand just drove off.
(52:11):
So ever since then for myself,anytime I suspect or I see
something that's something's notright with this situation, I get
involved.
I remember I saw a guy beating awoman.
He was in the she was in thepassenger side and he was just
beating her through the window.
So I stayed at a safe differentdistance, but I called 911 and I
end up following them.
Obviously, I wasn't right onthem so they couldn't tell.
(52:33):
And the police end up stoppingthem.
So I will get involved as abystander, even though I don't,
I may not go up to them andphysically try and grab somebody
because that will, you know, Icould get in trouble myself or
get injured or killed.
But I still try to play my partin helping somebody in that
situation just because of thefact that I didn't have that
(52:54):
help.
And just like you said, mybiggest thing was with law
enforcement because I couldn'tget help.
Anytime I got tried to reach outfor help, I was told that I was
going to be arrested.
My children were gonna be taken.
So I didn't have any confidencein law enforcement.
And I'm not judging them becauseyou know it could be training
or, like we said, the fatigue ofit.
(53:14):
But I wish that somebody wouldhave listened to me in law
enforcement.
And I know for a fact, just someyears ago, my daughter went
through the same thing, and Ihad an encounter with law
enforcement, and they basicallytold me I was being an
overbearing mother and just lether live her life.
And even though I knew that atthe time when she was taken, I
was getting text messages, butit wasn't her.
(53:35):
So when I told the policeofficer, I said, listen, this is
not her writing this, this isthe person that has her being
held captive, and she'spregnant.
And I was basically laughed atand mocked.
SPEAKER_04 (53:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (53:47):
And so I know that it's not there yet in law
enforcement where they takethese cases seriously.
It wasn't until after I hadgiven them some information and
told them that I also had workedin law enforcement and I had to
reach out to one of my oldfriends who was in law
enforcement still, she made acall and then they jumped on it.
And I told them, why do you haveto wait?
(54:09):
I mean, every one of these casesis very important.
Don't wait for somebody have touse if they're former law
enforcement or former ofsomething or worked in law
enforcement in that capacity.
It's not right.
SPEAKER_02 (54:19):
Yeah, you you make a great point because it wasn't
until I married my husband, mywho was in who's in law
enforcement 10 years lawenforcement now in the private
sector.
But that it my my captor hadmultiple warrants out for him.
Multiple.
(54:40):
We he my husband and I gotmarried, and he made one phone
call.
Hey, he's right here.
We know where he's at.
Yeah, he's arrested the nextday.
Yeah, but I call the kids andnothing.
Hey, he's right here, nothing.
SPEAKER_01 (54:56):
Nothing, yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:59):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (55:00):
Yeah, we have to do better with that.
SPEAKER_00 (55:02):
Yeah.
All right.
Well, how hard was it for you tobecome an author to Casa and
write this book, uh, Water Cure?
SPEAKER_02 (55:12):
Oh my goodness.
It was the hardest thing I'veever done.
And I honestly think I thinkthat's crazy because of
everything that I've gonethrough, I first off, I'm
dyslexic.
So I I had been, you know, Iwhen I first started the social
media aspect, I was writing likethese quotes and it started
(55:34):
turning into poems.
I had all of these journals,everything that happened to me.
And whenever I like smushed themtogether chronologically, I was
like, this doesn't make sense.
This is a horrible book.
So I had to completely think outof the box.
And then once I finally had itwritten, that's when the hell of
(55:59):
it all started.
Like it was even worse becauseyou have to go through editing
and all of this stuff.
But to finally set it down, itfeels like I'm setting down a
piece of my soul, and I canfinally close the chapter of
what is the worst part of mylife.
And maybe someone reads it andthey're like, Oh my gosh, like I
(56:23):
know how to help this.
That's kind of the goal of it.
And hopefully it scares a fewpeople too.
SPEAKER_00 (56:31):
I think that's I'm excited.
A lot of people get over thesituation similar to yours.
No, whether it's uh domesticviolence, uh an attack or
something, is by writing aboutit, even journaling about it,
uh, helps get it out of yourmind and just uh hopefully help
you put it behind you as closingthat chapter and no using it for
(56:56):
you know a remind for you knowsomebody else in the future that
you know, hey, uh this is Ididn't know this uh all this
happened, or I wish I would haveknown she was this person was
doing this, or this was why theywere acting this way, and and
things like that.
And I I'm glad that uh you wereable to get everything in your
(57:16):
book form.
And uh sorry I didn't get to dothe pre-read uh stuff, but no,
that was the the year that I wasgoing through stuff and I I
really wanted to, but I've gotmy book pre-ordered on Amazon,
so exciting.
SPEAKER_02 (57:31):
Yeah, I I will say you you said you said something
important, someone reading it,and then realizing, well, I
could have done somethingdifferent there.
I I actually had my mother readit.
And when I had been raped and myorgans were dying in the
hospital, there was a part and Iput it in the book and I looked
(57:53):
at her and I said, Mom, I gothurt because of sex.
And she goes, No, honey, it youjust your your ovaries, they
just they they failed.
And I looked at her and I justdidn't have the energy to like
finally so out of it.
(58:14):
And my mom said that was thehardest thing for me to read
because I remember you saying itand I dismissed you, and I
thought I was just keeping youcalm because I knew you were in
pain, and you know, getting thatout there, and it just it's so
(58:38):
it relieving, and it is onAmazon, Barnes Noble everywhere.
The audiobook will be on Audibleand iTunes.
So I'm just I'm thrilled.
I'm thrilled to finally letpeople hear what the horrors are
like, but also get to hear anincredible story of love and
(59:05):
strength.
unknown (59:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (59:06):
I'm so proud of you, by the way.
And I'm gonna share it.
I'm gonna write a LinkedIn thingabout our post, and then I'm
gonna share it so they can goand find your book too.
Because I mean, every day isdomestic violence awareness day.
It's not like a month.
We don't need just a month, weneed it every day.
So I'm definitely gonna shareyour story and and post it and
share it.
Uh and I do, like I said, I workwith mothers that have lost
(59:28):
their children to domesticviolence.
One particular was shot in thepark and that was horrible.
So it's a good story to share,and I'm very proud of you.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (59:38):
And if I if I remember seeing, right, uh it's
kind of sparked your interest.
You're working on anotherproject coming down the road,
aren't you?
SPEAKER_02 (59:46):
Um I got really excited about this one, and my
husband's super excited aboutit.
It is gonna be a science fictionthriller.
So I'm taking my joy that Idiscovered from writing this
book, Water Cure, into this newrealm.
And it mixes my love of sciencefiction with government
(01:00:07):
conspiracy and true historicalfacts.
And it is based in the 90s, andwe travel with a character named
Lydia Gray as she becomes sortof a secret agent to a
government that is somewhatunderground.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:29):
Okay.
All right.
That's good.
And if I remember, well, I I doremember, but part of what you
know knowing you from you knowsearching up uh firearms
instructors whenever I gotstarted and I started following
you.
I know what two years ago youdid an article with a friend of
(01:00:51):
mine, Trampus Swanson, on his inhis magazine, uh the life the
the lifestyles shoot.
Armed lifestyle.
Armed lifestyle, yeah.
I and he'll kill me because I II did an interview with him on
his magazine about his magazine,but yeah, it's an online
magazine.
But I encourage people to to gocheck that out as well.
(01:01:14):
I will see if I can find thatlink to that and I'll put it in
the show notes as well as someother things.
And I I appreciate you you knowcoming on and talking about
this.
I think it's again it'ssomething that I feel is never
talked about enough.
You know, and there's othertopics out there that that are
(01:01:34):
just as important, but you know,again, with this month being the
the awareness month that's beengiven for domestic violence, I I
thought this would be a realgood re-entrelaun video of or
podcast to do, and then alsohelp you with bringing awareness
to domestic violence and thenyou know promoting your book,
(01:01:57):
uh, which I'm excited that youdid.
And you and I'm glad that it'shelping you to close that that
section of your your life uh uhto a point that you know things
have happened.
Crystal, you got anything elseyou want to add?
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:14):
No, I just I think it's a great conversation we had
that we can go on and on forlike a long time because it's
such a major problem and issuethat so many of us face.
But yeah, but I would love tokeep in contact with you.
So after we get off here, I'dlike to get your your your
website and your bookinformation so I can share it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:33):
Okay.
All right.
Well on that as on that note,how can people that want to
contact you, Cass, how can theywhat's the best way to reach out
to you?
SPEAKER_02 (01:02:43):
There's multiple avenues depending on what you're
interested in.
If you're looking for um mybook, you can go to Cass McGuire
author on Facebook, or if you'relooking for my book and
everything else, you can look upStar Snoop Dog one word on all
(01:03:06):
platforms, uh including YouTube,Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.
If you're wanting to connect fora business reason and cast
Maguire on LinkedIn, so yeah, uhthat's those are the best ways
to reach me.
If if you're local in Oklahomaand you just want martial arts
classes with me, mm-okd.com.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03:30):
Okay.
All right.
And of course, we've alreadytalked about the where to find
your book and everything, anduh, I'll put in some links for
that uh also in the show notes.
Anything else you want to closewith, Cass?
SPEAKER_02 (01:03:45):
Uh I don't think so, Brian.
I really am thankful that youhad me on.
Crystal, it was lovely meetingyou.
Let's definitely connect.
But yeah, thank you for usfinally getting to do this.
I know it's been over a year ofwork in progress.
Yeah, but we found the time andthen I'm thankful to be here.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:03):
Okay, sounds good.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:04):
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:06):
Well, I will have uh show notes uh on contact
information, books, training.
And if you have any questions,feel free to reach out or no, if
you need anything, some tips orno, if you're still you know,
you want to talk to somebody,reach out to any of us.
Uh you can direct message me onthe podcast web page of reach
(01:04:30):
out to Cass or Crystal if youwant some information or if you
know need to help with a exitstrategy or or you know personal
safety or something like that.
Reach out to them and can'thelp, can't leave out the
sponsors of the podcast.
Of course, one of them is ablackout coffee.
They they help support with uhcommissions and then also right
(01:04:52):
to bear legal protectionservices.
Uh check them out for yourself-defense uh insurance or
your self-defense uhprotections.
Uh check them out, and they'reall those links will be in the
show notes.
Thank you, and y'all have agreat day.
SPEAKER_01 (01:05:09):
Thank you, Brian.
Thank you, Cass.
SPEAKER_00 (01:05:13):
The views and opinions expressed in this
podcast are those of the hostand the guest, and do not
necessarily reflect the viewsand opinions of the podcast
publisher, the affiliate, or anyother entities.
The information contained inthis podcast is for
entertainment purposes only andcannot be distributed as
medical, legal, or financial.
The podcast publisher isaffiliate no responsibility, any
(01:05:36):
liability.
If you or someone you know thata domestic violence situation
needs help, they can call1-800-799.
(01:06:01):
1-800-799-7233, or they can textthe word START 2 88788, or find
more information on domesticviolence at www.thehotline.org.
Thank you.
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