Homemaker Portrait | Joyce Newhall - The Art of Home: A Podcast for Homemakers

Episode Transcript
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Allison (00:00):
Do you ever feel like your space is stifling your home

(00:02):
making? Maybe you dream of abigger home so your large family
can spread out more. Or you'rehesitant to show hospitality in
the smallness of your dorm roomor studio apartment. In today's
episode, we discover that a homebuilt with love has rubber
walls. Hello, homemakers andwelcome to the art of home

(00:22):
podcast where we are exploringhow homemakers cultivate a place
to belong. I'm your host,Allison Weeks. I'm a wife, a
mom, and I've been practicingthe art of home for over 29
years. We are halfway throughseason three of the art of home
and we just want to say thankyou so much for listening, for
following for subscribing,sharing with others and for

(00:45):
sending us such encouragingmessages about how the podcast
is helping you and your practiceof the art of home. We are
seeing steady growth inlistenership and I give most of
that credit to you, ouraudience. Every time you share
on social media or recommend thepodcast to a friend. You're
helping us grow. So thank you.
Keep sharing. keep commentingand liking direct messages on

(01:07):
Instagram and let us know whatother questions you'd like us to
ask these homemakers that weinterview. We're producing this
show for you. So tell us whatyou'd like to hear. In today's
show. I'm talking to 34 yearhomemaking veteran Joyce
Newhall. Actually, Joyce feelslike she's been home making even
longer than her 34 yearmarriage. She remembers feeling

(01:28):
like her college room was a homewhere she could make others feel
welcome with a comfy chair and aready tea pot. Today Joyce has a
plaque in her office that readsa home built with love has
rubber walls, she has seenfirsthand how love stretches and
expands the capacity of a homeno matter what its size or
limitations. where love isthere's always enough and

(01:52):
there's always room for onemore. So whether you're carving
your fall pumpkins or raking upthe leaves, we hope you enjoy
Joyce's story of home. Allright, I'm here with my friend
Joyce Newhall and Joyce beforewe go back to the beginning of
your homemaker story, why don'tyou tell us a little bit about

(02:14):
who you are today.

Joyce (02:16):
Okay. Well, I have been married to Scott for almost 34
years. And we have four marriedchildren. And currently three
grandchildren. We've got two inheaven and two on the way. I I
serve at the Bible studyfellowship headquarters in San
Antonio, Texas, but I'm reallyfrom Indiana, we lived in

(02:40):
Indiana for 38 years. Our wholemarried life we lived in one zip
code. And we thought that waspretty neat until we moved here
and we love it here. So it'sbeen a great adventure for us.
Yeah. So that's a little bitabout us. We cover four time
zones with our family. And thatincludes Canada we have a

(03:01):
daughter who is from Vietnam whobecame a part of our family
about 11 years ago Wow. And soshe's up there now and we're
we're just we're really spreadout but yeah, love to see each
other when we can

Allison (03:13):
That's awesome. Yeah, this is a lot different than
Indiana a lot less snow that'sfor sure.

Joyce (03:18):
A lot less snow and a lot more sun Yes Yeah, but we love
We love both places.

Allison (03:24):
Uh huh. That's good. Do you get to go back to Indiana
pretty often

Joyce (03:28):
pretty often. The fact that we've got kids from
Bellingham Washington all theway to Ohio and Colorado and so
we we have to travel quite a bitso we fit Indiana in there, but
my siblings and my my mama'sstill live there. So I'm
actually going back next week tocelebrate her birthday.

Allison (03:47):
And it's going to be so pretty because the colors for
fall. Yeah, should be pretty,pretty well underway.

Joyce (03:53):
just getting started.
Nicely those reds, and I lovethe red and the yellow. Those
are my two favorites.

Allison (03:58):
I really missed that we used to live in the Chicago
area, and I miss thosedefinitive or seasons. Although
I don't miss the brown out iswhat we called it. It was like
eight months where everythingwas brown.

Joyce (04:11):
You're not wrong. I don't miss that at all. No, no.

Allison (04:16):
All right, well, let's go back to the beginning. Okay,
so when did you first become ahomemaker?

Joyce (04:20):
It's such a great question. And I thought about
it. I would say probably when Iwent to college. I had a room
that was mine my own room myfreshman year. And I remember
thinking I want this to be aplace where people can come and
it was a really, really smallroom. So I did whatever I could.

(04:42):
But then by the time I was asenior I also again for the
first time since my freshmanyear had a room that was all to
myself and it was a bigger roombecause I was a senior and so I
had a like soft chair in thereand I always had like a little
teapot ready for people. So thatwas that was a place where

(05:03):
people could come and we couldjust have good conversations.
And so I felt like I was ahomemaker then

Allison (05:09):
yeah, yeah. That's really cool. Okay, good. So how
was it different when you wentfrom having your own little
college space to then beingmarried and living with another
person?

Joyce (05:22):
That was a big change.
But I, I felt comfortable rightaway, Scott, and I felt
comfortable together. He hasalways been one who's willing to
pitch in and help me, which isgreat. Because we, we actually
bought a duplex when we gotmarried. And I was a teacher and
I had a little money saved. Andhe was just finishing college.

(05:45):
And so we had an up-down duplex.
And it was really old home builtin 1923. And so it had a lot of
little quirks about it, and youknow, little secret compartments
and big old farmhouse sink. Andit was just a really neat,
interesting home. But upstairs,we had tenants. And so one of

(06:08):
them had a washer and dryer, andwe didn't have that. And so she
said, If you let me use yourbasement, where the washer and
dryer could reside, you can useour washer and dryer. Oh, so we
shared the washer and dryer. SoI felt like my home was was also
the home of the two women thatlived upstairs, because they
could just come in that backdoor and kind of in and out. And

(06:30):
so I was caring for Scott andcaring for them. And they were
actually older than I was. But Istill felt like because I owned
the home. I wanted them to feelcomfortable there too.

Allison (06:41):
Yeah. Did you have any training? When you first started
homemaking, whether in collegeor when you were married? I
mean, did your your mom trainyou or your grandma? Or did you
have any kind of skills when youleft home?

Joyce (06:53):
I did. And it was my mother. And I'm grateful for
that. She grew up with twosisters and a mom. And so she
had, you know, chores to do alittle bit here and there. But
when she got married, she didn'thave a lot of skills. And that
bothered her a lot. And so shereally wanted us to have the

(07:14):
skills. And so I started cookingwhen I was probably six or
seven, wow. By the time I wasnine, I could literally make
like a whole course dinner bymyself. That's amazing. And she
let us mess up in the kitchen.
And you know all that andlaundry and cleaning. We had
five kids. So there was the youknow, the rotating chore chart.
And so we literally learned howto do all the house things. So I

(07:35):
knew how to do everything. Yeah,that's great. Yeah, my mom
didn't. And so it reallybothered her. So she didn't want
that repeated.

Allison (07:46):
She was very intentional to ensure that
happened. Yeah, that's reallycool. So what was your steepest
learning curve? Once you youwere out on your own and keeping
your own home? What was thehardest thing for you?

Joyce (07:57):
This is not hard to figure out. I know what it is. I
organization does not comenaturally to me. I like things
organized. But I'm not naturallyOkay, a detail oriented person
with the tiny details of keepingeverything orderly. And so you
know, and those things justdon't magically happen. And that

(08:18):
was one thing I didn't figureout. My mother is very naturally
that way. And so I just assumedand so was my sister actually.
And I just assumed that, that Iknew how to clean things. And I
knew how to cook things. And Ieven know how to sew things. But
just keeping it under control.
Yeah, I wasn't great at that.

Allison (08:38):
What was it that helped you to sort of master that skill
of organization? Or where do youfeel like you went over the the
hill and you had kind of reacheda level of competency?

Joyce (08:51):
that's also a great question. I remember being a
young mom, we had four kids infour and a half years. So I used
to call it happy chaos, our lifewas crazy. But I would come to
the end of the day. Andsometimes I felt like have I
accomplished anything todayreally. And I regularly listened

(09:15):
to focus on the family while Iwould be doing my chores around
the house or taking care of thekids. And I remember one day,
this woman named Sandra Feltonspoke and she was talking about
this book she had written calledthe messies manual, okay, and
she started describing thedifferent ways that you might be
a person who has a messy home.
And I I literally startedsobbing listening to her because

(09:36):
I for the first time like heardmyself and realized I literally
will walk circles sometimes inmy kitchen, not knowing which
thing to do first. And but Ifelt a little bit like there is
hope for me. So I bought her alittle book and you know she
kind of gave some tips have justhow to get yourself under

(10:01):
control. And, and I, I wasn't itdidn't come quickly. But I
figured things out as time wentby and I started to learn what
the low hanging fruit was and tofigure out what can I fix now
and then. And I learned toaccept help from my husband. He
would offer things sometimes. Iremember one time coming home

(10:22):
from somewhere with the kids.
And he was cleaning out therefrigerator. And I thought, oh,
gosh, he does not think I'mdoing a good enough job. And
really, it was just him tryingto love me and help me, you
know, so I learned, I learned alot in those early years.

Allison (10:42):
That's great. Yeah, that's really good. Well, let's
talk about balance a little bit.
Did you ever work outside thehome?

Joyce (10:49):
I did. I was a teacher for three years. And then I had
four kids in four and a halfyears, and I stayed home for 16
and a half years. And then Iwent into human resources, which
was nowhere on my radar when youknow, when that began, it was
gonna be a 10 to 15 hour a week,little side thing that turned in
about three months in it turnedinto a 40 hour week job. And I

(11:13):
found myself on the managementteam. And so I, I just didn't
expect it. I was also at thatpoint, I was also teaching Bible
study with Bible studyfellowship as a teaching leader.
And so that was like havinganother full time job. And those
two things were overlapping witheach other. And

Allison (11:31):
at that point, did you still have children at home?

Joyce (11:33):
I did.

Allison (11:34):
So really, you had like three jobs,

Joyce (11:35):
I kind of had three jobs.

Allison (11:37):
Oh, my gosh. So how did you how did you manage that?
What did you do to like, keepsane?

Joyce (11:42):
You know I'm so grateful that God had laid down so much
foundation during those 16 yearsthat I was home, of how to do a
lot and keep a lot of platesspinning. You know, I did
leadership at church, and I didserve in Bible study, fellowship
all those years, and I helpedwith school and those kind of
things. So I learned how tojuggle a lot. And delegating is

(12:06):
really important. And so Ishared the load with the kids.
And I shared the load with Scottand, and he shared his load with
me, and I think that's a part ofit, too, is you can't carry all
the balls yourself, right? Justhave to figure out which ones
you're supposed to carry. Right?
There were times I felt like,I'm an epic failure. You know, I
mean, just being honest. Butthen I realized, no, that's not

(12:29):
true. That's okay for for themto do that. Or it's okay for him
to do that. And for us to sharethis together, because we're a
family.

Allison (12:39):
Absolutely. So yeah. So I want to talk a little bit
about having four kids in fourand a half years. What kind of
special challenges did thatpresent?

Joyce (12:49):
Well, that's a good question. I, I, I enjoyed it. I
think, if it's, if it's specialchallenges, probably would be
keeping them all clothed,keeping them all alive. But that
really, that really was okaywith me. I think that was part
of what was okay is, at the endof the day; do they all love

(13:13):
each other? Do they all loveJesus? Are they treating other
people well? And so we investeda lot of time there. The special
challenges of just...the matrixI called my calendar, the
matrix. Because, you know, wehad choir and basketball and
football and soccer andvolleyball and all the things we

(13:37):
did piano lessons and viola,and, like so many things they
all wanted to do. And little bylittle we did it all. But I did
have to say, you get to do onesport, and one other thing, you
know, Oh, sure. There's four ofyou. And so I we can't be
everywhere at one time. And weall we all need to spend some

(13:58):
time together. So

Allison (13:59):
yeah, yeah. And I'm sure that the fact that they're
so close in age, they'reprobably very close.

Joyce (14:05):
They are now as adults.
Yeah. And and they were thentoo. Yeah. It's funny, even
though they were that close, westill had to into Okay, yeah,
the first two are a boy andgirl. And they are just they
were like, joined at the hip.
And the younger two. Were theyounger, you know, the little
boys, the littles, which theydidn't really love. And so we

(14:29):
had to stop calling them thelittle boys. Because that's, you
know, you're you're going intojunior high. You don't want to
be called a little little boys.

Allison (14:37):
We did the same thing.
Yeah, yeah. Let's talk aboutexpectations. We sometimes go
into our home life, we getmarried, we have certain
expectations about what it'sgonna look like and be like, did
the day to day reality of thatlife match any expectations that
you might have brought in?

Joyce (14:54):
Yes, I was really grateful. My my expectation was
that I would get To stay homewith the kids, and do the
cooking and do the, you know,make cookies and all those
things that I kind of dreamt ofdoing. The expectation that my
house would magically be cleanall the time. I don't know how

(15:15):
come I had that expectation. Butit was not real. I had to figure
out how to make that a reality.
But the family life was exactlywhat I what I wanted it to be
when the kids were little. Andthen as they got older, you
know, there, there's alwayschallenges. And then we learn to
kind of figure those things outtogether.

Allison (15:40):
Yeah, you know, were there any particular challenges
that you had to face as ahomemaker that stand out to you?

Joyce (15:49):
This one was kind of surprising to me. And it led to
something that was neat, but itwas surprising to me, because I
was a stay at home mom, I feltlike, you know, I'm here all the
time, I'm keeping the house, thekids come home by that time, you
know, I my, my daughter's inthird grade. And, and I'm making
dinner one night, and she saysto me, Mom, I really miss you.

(16:13):
And I was thinking to myself, Imean, I'm here all the time. I'm
at school with you. Sometimes wego to Bible study together. You
know, like, That surprised methat she would say that. But she
had three brothers. And we had abusy schedule. And there were
you know, there were chores todo and there was cooking to do
and they're all that kind ofthings. And there was just this

(16:36):
general, like, yes, life ispleasant. But she needed some
one on one time. And so wedecided that we would get up
early in the morning, a half anhour early before everybody else
got up. And we would have teatogether, which kind of harken
back to my college years whentea was my way to connect with
people. And so the boys got windof it, and then they decided

(16:59):
they wanted in. And so then Ibegan rotating, you know, every
day belonged to a kid. And wehad one buffer day, you know,
during the week, because we onlyhad four kids nor five days. But
I think that was something thatwas surprising to me. Yeah. as a
as a homemaker who was home withmy kids all the time, I thought
that they would feel connected.

Allison (17:22):
That's really interesting. So what did you do
at your tea time?

Joyce (17:27):
Oh, that's a great question. We would, I would just
ask them questions and listen,talk about school, talk about
know what, what was hard forthem, what was they were
struggling with the good things,talked a lot about God, just who
he is, and how he was there withthem. I remember. Our middle son

(17:51):
is hilarious. He's just he'shilarious. And he's a great
storyteller. And when somethingfunny would hit him, he would
just blurt it out in school. AndI'd go to the parent teacher
conference, and I would hearsomething about him. Yeah. And
it always was like, he's nottrying to be disrespectful. And

(18:14):
so I remember sitting on thefloor, you know, in, in our
fairly cleaned up house with ablanket over us, and we're
drinking tea. And I just said,Stephen, you know what I you
know, I talked to your teacheryesterday. And when something
funny comes to your mind, Ithink you should just tell your
jokes to Jesus. And he wouldcome home and tell me like, Mom,

(18:39):
this is what I did. You know,and it's still I mean, it's
still a funny thing in ourfamily today that he would tell
your jokes to Jesus so you don'tget in trouble in school. You
know?

Allison (18:48):
That's so great. I love that. Yeah. Okay. Oh, funny. All
right. Alright, let's talk abouthospitality. We show hospitality
to the people that don't livehere, obviously, when we invite
them in, but we're also showinghospitality to one another all
the time, because we'recultivating a sense of belonging

(19:09):
in our homes. So how do youintentionally show hospitality
to family members that thatlived here when they were all

Joyce (19:16):
When so when everybody was growing up? Yeah, yeah.
here?
That's that's a fun question toanswer. I think the biggest way

Allison (19:21):
That's really special.
Okay, so I'm going to askis that we did little things for
each other. Make somebody's bedand leave them a note or put a
piece of chocolate on theirpillow or invite them into
something that you were doingand make them be a part of it.
So cooking was not just mom'sjob, but a lot of times I would

(19:44):
invite the kids to do it withme. Yeah. And and I think
projects, Katie and I did a lotof wallpaper stripping. And you
know, the boys helped me in thegarden and different things like
that, where it was We weretogether in it. And they felt
like this was, this was theirplace to show them. And I also

(20:06):
think, a part a part of it, Ithink you're going on to talk
about how we offer it ahospitality and other people.
But I felt like part of offeringhospitality to my own children
and to Scott was that their homecould be a place where they
could invite someone else in,right. And it felt safe for them

(20:26):
to do that. And not like it hadto be perfect. It just had to be
warm and welcoming. Yeah. Andsilly little things. Like, I
love to make homemade hotchocolate. And I like to make
just plain old on the stovepopcorn with real butter on it.
Oh, yeah. So if we were, youknow, doing something, like on a

(20:48):
Friday night watching a movie orwhatever, they'd go, mom, will
you make the hot chocolate? Oh,and so it was like a requested
thing. Because and they'd saybecause I'll get asked, Can you
share that recipe with us? Isnobody makes it like you do,
which is absolutely not true.
But you know, I mean, it's justcocoa powder and sugar and salt,
but I and a lot of vanilla. But,but it was something that they
knew that was kind of unique andspecial. And so those were the

(21:12):
little things that I think madethem feel homey in their home.
there an actual recipe, or areyou one that you just kind of
eyeball it,

Joyce (21:27):
it started out with an actual recipe like literally on
the Hershey's cocoa box on theside where it just you take a
quarter of a cup of water andyou know some cocoa powder and
you stir it in there and put thesalt in. But over time,
truthfully as the years havegone by, it's really now it's an
eyeball thing and I I play withit like oh, I've got some Carmel

(21:52):
macchiato. coffee creamer in therefrigerator. I wonder if that
would be good. You know, it'slike it's, it's like that.

Allison (22:00):
So you use water, you don't use milk?

Joyce (22:03):
Well, that's just a tiny tiny little bit of to get the
cocoa powder and the sugar,salt. Okay, then you add them
then it's like milk and half andhalf cream or whatever I have
that can make it really rich andyummy, then yes, that okay, and
if I ever put anything likecoffee creamer in it's like a
splash for flavor. But really,it's just the it's the cream,

(22:26):
like heavy cream or half andhalf that makes it really
delicious.

Allison (22:29):
Well, yeah, of course.

Joyce (22:31):
And then not be and then just whip up a little real
whipping cream to make, youknow, we've got like I get on
the top. And if you have Hersheysyrup, you may or may not
drizzle that all over the top ofit.

Allison (22:45):
That sounds. That sounds like a real winner.
Absolutely.

Joyce (22:49):
It's kind of like a food group into itself. That's great.

Allison (22:54):
Well, you touched a little bit on hospitality to
other people wanting yourchildren to feel like they could
bring anybody here and theywould be welcome. Are there any
other ways that your familyshowed hospitality to outsiders?

Joyce (23:06):
Well, we had two foreign exchange students. And wow, that
was really special. We had onefrom South Korea. And she lived
with us for a year. And then andthen we had my turn and she
became our daughter. She livedwith us her senior year of high
school. And at that point, I wasin a string of we ended up with

(23:26):
five high school graduationsfive years in a row. And so, but
she just became a part of ourfamily in a, in a forever kind
of way. And so having havingher, you know, come and live
with us. We had somebody elsecome in and live with us once
for about nine months, who justwas in a place in life where

(23:47):
they needed to do that. And um,and that was also a really
special time. You know, he wasdidn't grow up in our home. But
he was really special to us andand we learned a lot from him.
And he learned a lot from us.
And yeah, it's really cool.
Yeah.

Allison (24:05):
When you're now daughter came to stay with you.
And she's from Vietnam. Hanoi,so how, I don't know if you can
speak for her but what were someof the challenges that she faced
because I'm sure home life herewas very different from home
life in Vietnam, you know, justthe culture is so different,
right? Are there cultural thingsthat she had to sort of overcome

(24:26):
or you guys had to overcome tomake her feel welcome here? Like
she was really a part of thefamily?

Joyce (24:31):
Yes, we we had to learn what was important to her even
just simple things like thingsto eat. You know that I think, I
think eating, sleeping, thoseare the things that make you
feel really like those arethings that are that are big,
and at that point, she reallywasn't a cook. She you know, she

(24:54):
had people in her home inVietnam who, who did cook and so
so she didn't We learn how to doit. But she knew what she liked
to eat. And so we kind of didresearch and we kind of figured
things out. And I found it anAsian market and we would go
there and, and find things thatlike, looked and felt like home

(25:17):
to her. And then we figured outwhat to do with them. And she's
an amazing cook. Now, I love itwhen she comes because she'll
cook for us now. And she's agreat cook. But she was, she was
15 when she came to the US. Andthen we had her her first year.
And then we we got her when shewas 16. So she was a senior in
high school, but she was veryyoung and just quickly became a

(25:40):
part of us.

Allison (25:41):
That's really cool. So would you, if you if someone out
there is listening, and they'rethinking about bringing in
exchange students? What advicewould you give them?

Joyce (25:52):
Oh, that's a good question. I would say just be
open, I think that's the hardestpart in the beginning is helping
real conversations to happen.
And there's the temptation forthem to maybe go and stay up in
their room and get on a zoom orFaceTime or whatever, with

(26:13):
their, with their family athome. But just be incredibly
intentional to have them atfamily meals, or when you go out
and do something and she wasgoing to school with with our
youngest son at that point. Andso they have the car ride every
day. And so if those are justthe daily things, and then being

(26:37):
really, really open when theirstruggle like this is not
working out in this one littlearea, like I need you to
whatever and invite them intodoing the home tours and all
those things. And that opens thedoor to I think for them to be
able to say this isn't workingout for me in this area. Like I
don't feel comfy here. And so,you know, we had those kind of

(27:00):
conversations rather early and,and and it bore a lot of fruit,
you know,

Allison (27:08):
after great Yeah, yeah.
Really cool. Well, thanks forsharing about that experience.
That's really unique,

Joyce (27:13):
really sweet to us.

Allison (27:18):
We will get back to Joyce's story in just a few
minutes. Right now it's time forhistorical homemaker hints, the
part of the podcast where wehighlight some of the helpful
and not so helpful hints doledout to homemakers throughout
history. Today hints come fromthe American frugal housewife in
1833 homemakers guide by Mrs.
Child. Here are two handy tipsfor Mrs. Child to tell if your

(27:39):
eggs are bad. To prove whetherthey are good or bad, hold the
large end of the egg to yourtongue. If it feels warm, it is
new, but if cold it is bad, inproportion to the heat or cold
is the goodness of the egg.
Another way to know is to putthe egg in a pan of cold water.
The fresher the egg The soonerit will fall to the bottom. If

(28:02):
rotten it will swim. Now I'veknown this last tip for quite a
while I remember it as dead eggsfloat like dead men float so
does a dead or rotten egg. Thereyou go. I'm not sure about the
one where you touch the end toyour tongue and it's hot or
cold. Maybe that has to do withif you have chickens and you're
literally bringing them right infrom the chicken coop. I don't

(28:24):
know. But I do know that thesecond tip works about dead eggs
floating so you can use thatone. Mrs. Child gives the
following recipe for citrusinfused brandy. Have a bottle
full of brandy with as large amouth as any bottle you have,
into which cut your lemon andorange peel when they are fresh
and sweet. This brandy gives adelicious flavor to all sorts of

(28:48):
pies, puddings and cakes. Right?
I'm sure it was just for bakingpurposes that she was making
this brandy. And finally Mrs.
child would never waste money ona trip to the spa when she can
DIY her sauna at home. People ingeneral think they must go
abroad for vapor baths. But avery simple one can be made at

(29:08):
home. Place strong sticks acrossa tub of water at the boiling
point and sit upon them entirelyenveloped in a blanket feet and
all okay are you getting thisridiculous mental picture. The
steam from the water will be avapor bath. Some people put
herbs into the water. Steambaths are excellent for severe

(29:30):
colds and for some disorders ofthe bowels. They should not be
taken without the advice of anexperienced nurse or physician.
And great care should be takennot to renew the cold after it
would be doubly dangerous. Ilove that she goes to the
trouble of giving us adisclaimer about checking with
our doctors first and then shetells us we shouldn't catch a

(29:51):
cold right after doing our DIYsauna. I don't know how you're
supposed to control that. But atthe same time she's telling us
to put boiling water in thebathtub. lay some strips of wood
on top and sit over it. Hmm. Idon't know, Mrs. Child. Well,
that's it for today's historicalhomemaker hints. As always,
please remember this segment isfor entertainment purposes only.

(30:14):
And I leave it to you, thelistener to determine the safety
and soundness of this advice.
Now back to Joyce's story.
Alright, let's talk a little bitabout the seasons of homemaking.
Okay, so how would you say thatyour role as a homemaker has
changed over time?

Joyce (30:30):
So when the kids were little, or even when we were
very first married, you know, itwas Scott and I were both
working when we first gotmarried, right. And so we, we
literally just shared everythingwe shared the cooking, we
shared, the cleaning was, andthen, you know, the next season
was I was home, and he wasworking. And he had multiple

(30:51):
things he was doing, becausewhen I stepped out of teaching,
we lost more than half ourincome. And then we had all
these kids. Yeah. And so he wasjust a trooper, and you know, he
was working at a bank, and hewas in the Marine in the Marine
Corps reserves. And he had alawn care business. And so he
was doing all the things, tomake it so that I could stay

(31:13):
home. And I was so proud of him.
And I wanted our home to be aplace that he felt like he could
come at the end of this hardday. But also, I was working
really hard during the day. Andall young moms do you know, I
see them now I my daughters,I've watched them with their
kids, and they're working reallyhard. But I think just the then

(31:33):
the swirl happened, you know,when the kids are little, your
schedule kind of drives familylife Exactly. But when they get
a little bit older, theirschedule drives family life, and
you, you put yours in betweenthe hours. And so we had to work
really hard to even as a husbandand wife, I think, to maintain

(31:57):
that. You know, we used to havein house date nights after the
kids would go to bed. And so Iwould try to make our home like
a really nice and cozy place forus to do something special, even
if it was just at home. And soand then as, as the kids went
off to college, when the lastone left for college, I remember

(32:21):
we dropped him off, and wewalked in the house. And I kind
of I mean, I already let threekids go, I didn't see this
coming. The first two went 12hours from home. He was only two
hours away. And so it felt likeI would be fine. I had done this
right except wrong. And I walkedin the door and I looked at our

(32:45):
big huge kitchen table. Andknowing that it was going to be
just the two of us eating at it.
And I thought, I don't like tosee that table like that. And so
I thought I have two choices. Ican be just a hot mess over
this. Or I can do somethingdifferent. And so I took the
leaf out of the table and hisChristian look smaller. And I

(33:09):
said to work like I justthought, well, it's August and
it's hot and it's not reallyfall but I need to do something.
So I went and got all my falldecorations out. Yeah, they
decorated and I thought youknow, it'll just be like, I'm
turning a corner here. I'm justmaking a decision. And like all
good children do then we weren'treally empty nesters very long

(33:29):
we we had post college kids comehome and stay with us, which was
great. Yeah. But for that year,we were experiencing something
different. And then marryingthem off. That was another step
because our daughter came in shedid she taught she taught her
first year after college and shelived with us. And we were

(33:49):
called the roomies unless sheshe was done working, you know,
after school. So when we wouldget home, she had like dinner
ready for us. Wow. Oh, that'sfamily, I highly recommend that.
And of the people in the familywho's naturally organized, it's
my daughter, Katie. She'sterrific at it. And so, you

(34:10):
know, she, she could have runthe whole thing single handedly
and was wonderful at it. So whenshe left and moved to Ohio from
Indiana, that was another momentof really, truly having to let
go. That kind of surprised me. Ithought I like she went to
college. 12 hours from home, Iwill be fine. But I was letting

(34:34):
go in a new way and handing herover to Eric, which was the most
joyous thing I've ever done. Butyeah, I was still really hard.
And then moving here was anotherbig step. Because we had lived
in that house for 20 years. Andwhen we moved to Texas. Scott
was actually still in Indiana,closing up shop and I needed to

(34:57):
be here to start my new job. Youknow, he was he was moving so I
could do this work that God hadcalled me to do. And he saw it
as an us thing. And so part ofwhat I needed to do was get us a
home and I had never bought ahouse by myself. So I went
around with a realtor and I, Ikept walking into houses that I

(35:21):
thought, I feel a little bitlike I'm in prison in here, I
don't, you know, it was justjust the architecture was
different. And that, you know,not a lot of big tall trees and
lush green grass and open wideopen spaces, like we had in
Indiana. It's just a lotdifferent here. And and then we
walked into this house, and Ithought, this is it. I'm home.

(35:46):
And I knew that I was home. AndI was really anxious to get him
here. And you know, we closed onthe house, and we moved in. And
we worked on unpacking boxes oneat a time until we got them all
done, because we were bothworking. But I feel like really
home here. And that's great.
Yeah.

Allison (36:06):
Sounds great that you had the opportunity to do that.
And that you were brave enoughto do that by yourself. I mean,
I guess you had to you reallydidn't have a choice. But yeah,
I know what you mean, it's thearchitecture here is different,
probably than what you were usedto in Indiana, and in other
parts of the country. There'ssort of a hill country look
right.

Joyce (36:23):
And I love it now that I'm comfy with it.

Allison (36:25):
I know. But it would have been very foreign to you
was coming from the land of lotsof arts and crafts style
architecture, and you know, justvery traditional style. Very
different.

Joyce (36:39):
Yeah. So I love like the arches, and, you know, the brick
and all that. I love that. So,yeah. All right.

Allison (36:46):
Well, I'm glad you found a place to be at home.
How are you still challengingyourself to grow as a homemaker
where you are right now in yourjourney?

Joyce (36:56):
You know, it's funny at my mother in law, my mother, my
mother was not willing to changethings up ever. Like her couch
sat in the same place forliterally 42 years in her living
room. And, and her pictures onthe wall were the pictures on
the wall and all of that. Mymother in law about every six

(37:16):
weeks changed her house, I'm notexaggerating, like Wow, she
literally would like switchthings up. She was like one who
would go to a, an estate sale ora garage sale, and she'd find
new little doodads, and shesold, you know, home interiors
for years. And all back in theday, you know, that was the
thing. And so she was one whojust liked to, to change things

(37:36):
up. Yeah. And she would talk tome about decorating and you know
how to put things together. Soit would make a little grouping
or whatever. Yeah, and I'm notsuper great at that. But that is
a place where I haveintentionally been watching,
especially even since I've cometo Texas, as I've gone into the

(37:59):
homes of my friends who I workwith, and I have just
experienced that they've got abeautiful, just a piece of art.
And, and I've really startedpaying attention to that. So
I've been looking at art piecesand things that I never really
did before. But I I feel like inthis stage of my life, like

(38:21):
that's a place I want to grow islearning how to do that.

Allison (38:24):
Yeah. More the aesthetic side of your
environment. Because I think youyou've got the whole emotional
and relational side down.
There's love in these walls andyou can tell but I know what
you're saying about wanting tosort of stretch yourself in a
new area and maybe it's that foryou. It's that aesthetic side.
Yeah, your house is lovely. Youhave lovely things and they're

(38:45):
all tied to memories. As we weregoing through before we started
recording and you were tellingme all these stories.. that's my
favorite kind of decor. Is thedecor that it means something
like this came from my friend soand so who brought this back
from her trip to wherever or allthe pieces in your china cabinet
that came from your kids'mission trips. Yeah. Which is
amazing that they thought tobring that back for you. And I

(39:09):
love that you've used it todecorate in your home. That's
really special.

Joyce (39:14):
Thank you. Thank you.

Allison (39:17):
How are you intentionally passing on your
knowledge as a homemaker, as awife, as a mom as a whatever
fill in the blank to the womencoming behind you?

Joyce (39:28):
Primarily the women coming behind me right now are
my daughter and my, my daughter,my daughter who's I still can
only out call her my daughterand my my three daughters in
law. And the truth is, I sharemy experiences pretty openly
with them. The places where I'vebumped my nose against the wall

(39:51):
or the things that went reallywell. And my son in law works at
a place where they talk aboutreverse mentoring. And I have, I
have discovered that mydaughters are all amazing at
decorating. I mean, they Wow,really, some of them have been
asked, Hey, will you do thedecor at this wedding? Or will

(40:13):
you come and they're just like,naturally, really good at it.
And they have all very differentstyles. None of them are exactly
like the others. But I feel likepart of part of passing on. What
I have learned is, is thenseeking what they are learning.
And it's kind of a neat thingthat, you know, I learned from

(40:34):
them, and they learn from me. Sothat's the concept of reverse
mentoring is that they train meto train. The old person is
getting trained by the youngperson. But in the process of
doing that, it brings up areally neat conversation. And
then, and then I can pass on thethings that that I have learned,

(40:56):
as a mom, as a wife, as a friendor sister.

Allison (41:00):
Yeah, I love that so much. I've never heard that term
before reverse mentoring. Yeah,but I mean, that's what we're
trying to do with this projectis just encourage women, we need
each other, you know, and, andwe want people to listen to the
show and be encouraged by thestories of the women on the
show. But we also want them togo into their neighborhood,

(41:21):
their community, their church,and find those women that they
can connect with and mentor ordo reverse mentoring. Yeah,
because we have so much to learnfrom one another. And it doesn't
matter what age you are.

Joyce (41:31):
We really do and I think in the process of opening up and
saying, I've got still more tolearn which I loved your
question like, in this stage ofyour life, what are you trying
to learn? Because I feel like inpart of that, it really opens
the door for you know, for forus to help each other and for me

(41:51):
to share the things that I'velearned some by intentional
learning and some by the schoolof hard knocks Yes, you know,

Allison (42:00):
Alright, we're going to talk about home making tasks and
this section is a rapid firequick answer. Okay. All right.
You don't have to just give me ayes or no or a short answer. You
can tell me a story if you wantto, okay? But feel free to
elaborate or not.

Joyce (42:13):
Okay. All right.

Allison (42:15):
All right. One homemaking task that you love

Joyce (42:18):
cooking. It's, it's, I think it's an extravaganza, it's
just fun to me, I like to bakeand I like to cook. I like to
cook because you can just play.
Like I imagined that this wouldtaste good with this. And
sometimes I play a game withmyself. If I you know, don't
have a pantry full of thingsthat I have planned for a recipe
or something. I'll just say,Okay, I like what can we make

(42:40):
with this. And I just thinkabout the fun. Cooking is also
super fun to me. Because when wego on vacation with our kids now
they grew up experimenting inthe kitchen. And so now the kids
each will take you know, theeach couple will take a night or
a day, and they're in charge ofwhatever we have. And it's

(43:04):
always something better thanwhatever I would make. It's so
much fun. So cooking issomething I love and and baking
too.

Allison (43:12):
Awesome. Do you have a favorite resource that you go to
for recipes or inspiration?

Joyce (43:18):
Well, I have learned to use the internet now. I yes, I
do that a lot. I have a reallyold cookbook that I got. Gosh, I
think it was the early 90s. It'scalled nut bread and nostalgia.
And it It came from like thejunior league in South Bend,
Indiana.

Allison (43:37):
Those are the best cookbooks, those Junior League
cookbooks.

Joyce (43:40):
I love that thing. It's got really old pictures in it.
And then like little you know,historical when you were having
this kind of gathering you woulddo blah blah blah you know a
little explaination, and then,you know Bev's creamy chocolate
squares might be the best thingI've ever made. It's like this
multi layer you know, likegooey, gooey chocolate brownie

(44:03):
kind of thing on the bottom andthen a creamy center with like a
ganache chocolate on top. It'sridiculous. It's just so you
don't make it all the time. No,but when you do you won't eat
the whole pan.

Allison (44:15):
So fun. I love Junior League cookbooks Yeah. All
right, how about a task that youhate?

Joyce (44:20):
Oh gosh. A task I hate I really think straightening is my
worst thing straightening justmaking sure the clutter is put
away okay. I may or may not havecalled it debris. When the kids
are going up. I'm like, the bombhas gone off and now we have to
clean up the debris. So yeah,that's probably my my least

(44:45):
favorite because I actuallyliked doing things like clean a
bathroom, because it sparkleswhen you're done and I actually
really liked that the mirror isall clean and you know, it's
just putting away toys or papersor whatever.

Allison (44:59):
But you're gonna have to do this again in probably 20
minutes. Yeah. I'm in the emptynest brain, actually. But yes,
when you have four children, oryears apart, yeah, you're pretty
much cleaning up all the time.
Alright, how about a task thatyou grew to love?

Joyce (45:16):
laundry? I would have said laundry was my most hated
task when the kids were little.
And I discovered when we movedinto this house, because the
other two houses I've lived inmy laundry was in the basement,
and I have a first floor laundryand it's like, fabulous. It's
light, and it's above ground.

(45:39):
And it's finite, and I canactually accomplish it. And I
realized I didn't actually hatelaundry. I just hated going into
a cold dark basement. So thereyou go.

Allison (45:49):
That makes total sense.
What about your worst homemakingfail?

Joyce (45:55):
Oh, gosh, I think that happened when I was a little
girl actually, oh, my motherwas, like I said, very, very
willing to let us just do thingsin the kitchen. And we have this
very beloved family cookierecipe called Dunkin platters.
And you make these giant,they're giant cookies. And so

(46:17):
it's like a, it's like aquadruple batch of chocolate
chip cookie dough. Okay, so adouble batch would be like a
quadruple batch. And why wouldyou ever make less than a double
batch? Right? So. So I'm talkinglike, two pounds of butter. And
wow. So this is like it wasgiant. And somehow, I decided
that the recipe didn't call forteaspoons of baking soda. I put

(46:43):
a half a cup of baking soda inOh my God. And I did. Of course,
the dry ingredients are the lastthing you put in before you put
in all this, like cereal andGrape Nuts and all this stuff.
And I I made the first taste andI was like, I don't know how I'm
going to tell my mother this.
Like, I don't know how I'm goingto tell her because this is
probably you know, I wasthinking my head as a little

(47:04):
probably nine or 10 year oldgirl. Like, that's a lot of
money right there. Yes. And Icalled her over and she was a
champion. She was a hero. Shesaid, Well, I guess we're just
gonna have to throw this awayand start all over, aren't we?
Oh my goodness. And it was oneof those big Tupperware fix and
mix bowls like giant like yeah,full. Oh, my God cookie dough.

(47:26):
And she just quietly dumped itin the trash. And she I don't
know how she had all thoseingredients still in the house,
too. But she had five kids. Somaybe that's why. But she
brought all the ingredients backout. And she said, Will you go
at it again? And she didn't likeshe didn't babysit me or say no,
I need to do it with you becauseyou really messed up. She just
said, like, go for it again. AndI did and they turned out great.

(47:49):
But I will like I've neverforgotten that. So whenever I am
doing anything, I'm like, okay,you need to check yourself
Joyce. Pay attention, don't bedoing other things. And you
know,

Allison (48:03):
that's a great story.
Wow she handled that reallywell.

Joyce (48:06):
She did. That was a great example for me. Absolutely.
Yeah.

Allison (48:09):
Okay. Well, what about a memorable homemaking
achievement?

Joyce (48:16):
I think a memorable homemaking achievement, we did a
lot of transformation to thatold 1923 house that we bought,
when we first got married. Webasically redid every room in
the house, like it had the oldlath and plaster walls and
everything where you would takea hammer and try to hammer a
nail in. And it would go like,like that was like no, you

(48:39):
couldn't you just couldn't doit. So Scott, really just
drywalled everything. And thenit was my job to be the
decorator and no, it was in thein the late 90s, early 2000s.
And, and so I I've learned howto wallpaper. And I again, not
naturally a great decorator, butI I've really like paid

(49:03):
attention and I got a couple ofpeople who were like mentors
from church to come and help me.
And and they did they helped mepick out the stuff. And then
they helped me come and hang itand I mean it was it felt like a
masterpiece when it was done.
Sure it did and and the kidsloved it. And Scott loved it.
And it made me think like okay,I was no i didn't learn how to

(49:27):
do this growing up. This was notone thing we did as growing up,
but but I really wanted to do itand and I figured somebody will
help me and they they did yeahso yeah that I felt like that
was pretty good homemakingachievement

Allison (49:43):
That is! It's not easy to wallpaper. And that's coming
back by the way. Wallpaper isback in.

Joyce (49:50):
I have actually told my daughter because they're talking
about wallpaper. I'm like, becareful. They're tricking
another generation. You put itup, you got to take it down some
day.

Allison (50:01):
Exactly. I think they have come a long way though with
like the technology ofwallpaper.

Joyce (50:05):
What comes off the wall?

Allison (50:07):
Yes, yes,

Joyce (50:07):
I've heard that too.

Allison (50:09):
Anyway, I'm still not gonna put any up in my house.
I've done that.

Joyce (50:12):
Paint is easier, isn't it?

Allison (50:14):
Absolutely. Yeah. How about your top three homemaking
tips.

Joyce (50:19):
Keep it up. I think that's my you know, don't let
Don't let this this stuff get ontop of you. Stay on top of the
stuff. And if you have stuffthat you don't love, like love,
love. Just get rid of it. I youknow, I, I heard somebody say
that was probably back in theday when I was trying to figure
out how to get my life undercontrol. And I didn't have that

(50:40):
much stuff. I just had a lot ofkids. But I I realized this
doesn't actually bring me a tonof joy. I don't really need
this. And so I gave it away or Isold it or I threw it away or
whatever. Yeah. And so I thinkthat's a big thing is stay up
with whatever you have. And ifyou have more stuff in you need

(51:01):
get rid of it.

Allison (51:02):
Yeah, yeah. Those are good tips. Very good tips.

Joyce (51:06):
Oh, I guess that was one.
I supposed to give you three.
Oh, gosh. Okay,

Allison (51:10):
Well, so keep it up.
That's one. And get rid of yourstuff if you're not using it, or
it's not bringing you joy. Doyou have another one?

Joyce (51:20):
Yeah, just don't think you have to have everything
perfect to have people in yourhome, open the doors and let
people come in. Because reallythe joy of a home is the people.
Yeah. And so. And this is ouropportunity to invest in people
in their lives and share Jesuswith them and all of that. So I

(51:42):
guess honestly, that wouldprobably be my biggest
homemaking tip is just open upthe door.

Allison (51:47):
Yeah. Yeah. That's a great tip. Yeah. So we're going
to end our time today talkingabout the art of home. What does
that mean to you when you hearthat phrase, the art of home?

Joyce (52:01):
Alright, well, I showed you a picture in my office that
had a little quote on it. A homebuilt with love has rubber
walls. And I guess that goesalong with the open up the door
thing that I talked about a bitago, and I think the art of home
is that it needs to be a placewhere everybody feels that they

(52:22):
belong. And they're secure andsafe. And they can walk in and
whatever happened on theoutside, can be like, debriefed
talked about, cried aboutlaughed about. Problem solved
through whatever. Yeah. And Ithink it's also a community

(52:44):
project. I feel like, homemaking is really a community
project with whoever is in thehome at the time, even when we
had kids that weren't our kidsover for dinner, whatever I say,
you know, you're not allowed toleave hungry. Also, we do
dishes, and so come on. Andthey'd be like, what? Yeah, and

(53:06):
but that was it turned into fun,you know, turn on the radio and
dance in the kitchen and laughwhile you're, you know, making a
mess cleaning up.

Allison (53:15):
That's great. Yeah, I love that. I love that you're,
you're giving ownership to thepeople who live here. And I like
I like that term, a communityproject, like a community art
project. It's not just your artproject. And it's for everybody
that that lives here and comesinto these, these walls even for
just an evening. That's great.
How can you find beauty in themidst of the mundane work that

(53:40):
we do? This is somewhat of ahumble occupation homemaking,
because the work we do is kindof humble. It's cleaning. It's
wiping bottoms. It's you know,yeah,

Joyce (53:53):
I didn't expect that question to make me cry. But
like, um, yeah, that is that.
It's not, it's not a wasted lifejob. You know, it's such an
important job. And it's actuallyI think it's a job that has
eternal value. Yeah. Becauseevery person who is a part of

(54:15):
your home is someone you canpray for while you're folding
their clothes, or while you'rewiping their little bottom or
cleaning up their barf, or whileyou're cleaning, you know,
cleaning the toilet or, orwashing the bottle for 9,000th
time or whatever like that isthat's eternal work. And so I
don't know when I've learned to,to pray for those in my family,

(54:41):
and even those who someday thosekids who they might marry or who
they would impact as they weregoing to school or whatever. So
I'm sure somebody told me thatand it wasn't like I made it up
out of my own head, but I'mgrateful for that view, because
honestly, I think being in ahome, making a home for whomever

(55:05):
it is that you live with, orwhoever it is that might come.
Because I mean, there are peoplewho probably listen, are
listening who have kids, somewho don't. Some are married some
who aren't some who live withpeople, some who don't. And I
think a home is a place whereanybody who walks through the

(55:26):
door could be a person that youcould take to Jesus and and pray
for them. And yeah, for theirgood and their blessing. Yeah.
So the mundane stuff can turninto something really different.
I think when you look at it thatway.

Allison (55:42):
Yeah, that's a great perspective. Yeah. Well, what
advice would you give to a younghomemaker out there who's
listening?

Joyce (55:54):
Find other women who are in your stage of life, and share
the truth of your life withthem. Like the good days, the
bad days. We did fun things whenI was a young mom and I was at
home with all my kids. And insome ways, it was productive. In

(56:14):
some ways, it wasn't, but I hada really good friend who we
would once a month, we would goto each other's house and help
each other. Like, with a with ahome project. Like, okay, I want
to, I want to clean out this,whatever, or I want to do
whatever. And we would do thattogether. And I don't know how
productive we were. But we did alot of talking while we did it.

(56:38):
And our kids were all over theplace she gets excited for so I
mean, there were kidseverywhere. But But we we
actually did that. And I wouldsay the other on the other end
of it, find women who are aheadof you. My best friend would
always say, a chapter or achapter and a half ahead of you.

(56:59):
That's how she would always sayit. And I like that. And um, and
the Lord will provide that. Ithink if you just ask him I, I
literally asked him, will yougive me people who can show me
things. And he just they wouldjust fall into my lap. And on
the other end, there were peoplewho would just fall into my lap

(57:20):
that God would who I could justwalk alongside? Yeah, who were
maybe even a half a stage underme, you know. And so I think
there's always the looking up inthe looking back. So

Allison (57:31):
yeah, great advice.
Thanks. Well, thank you forjoining us and for sharing your
story of home. I reallyappreciate it.

Joyce (57:37):
And it has been my pleasure I and I hope that it's
a blessing for everybody whogets to hear.

Allison (57:44):
Thanks for joining us today for this homemaker
portrait of Joyce Newhall. Wehope her story has inspired you
to consider that a house builton love has rubber walls. That
is you don't need a bigger,nicer newer space to be a better
homemaker. In whatever spaceyou're in. Let your homemaking
be motivated and inspired bylove. And there will always be

(58:06):
enough of what you need and roomto share that with others. If
this episode was helpful, wouldyou pass it on to a homemaker
you know, who could use someencouragement? As always, we
encourage you to meet face toface with another homemaker. As
Joyce said, find somebody who isa chapter or a chapter and a
half ahead of you that you canlearn from. And then someone who

(58:28):
is on about the same page as youwho you can relate with and be
real with. And if you don't havethose women in your life, ask
God to bring them and thenfollow through when he does.
Again, just a reminder about thenew way we have for you to leave
us a review. Go over tolovethepodcast.com/theartofhome

(58:49):
and rate and review. You can dothis no matter what kind of
device you're using. And thenwhen you review, it will show up
on all the places that the artof home can be listened to. It
just takes a minute. It's reallysimple. And that review will
help other listeners decidewhether or not the art of home
is a good fit for them. Soagain, just another way you can

(59:10):
help get these amazing storiesout to encourage homemakers all
over the world. So thank you.
Connect with us over onInstagram, Twitter, Facebook,
all those links are below in theshow notes and you can also send
us an emailcontact@theartofhomepodcast.com.
Resources mentioned in thisepisode, Joyce's top three
homemaking tips and suggestedresources related to the things

(59:33):
we talked about today are listeddown in the show notes and on
our website. And don't forget,as always, you can get a peek
into Joyce's home over on thewebsite, the
artofhomepodcast.com/blog. clickon the link to this episode.
This is season three, EpisodeThree, a homemaker portrait of
Joyce Newhall, until next time,keep practicing your art of

(59:55):
making a home

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Homemaker Portrait | Joyce Newhall

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Homemaker Portrait | Joyce Newhall