March 4, 2024 • 29 mins
We know that embarking on a personal journey towards healing and self-discovery can be as intimidating as it is liberating, which is why the experiences and wisdom shared by others is crucial. In our newest episode self-love coach and priestess Melanie Monaco shares about the transformative process of 'Coming Home to Yourself.'
Melanie intertwines the essence of our physical being with our emotional landscape and our deeper soul, setting the stage for a deep exploration of self. The power of acknowledgment and emotional processing can reconnect you with yourself.
Melanie shares about the resilience of the human spirit and the potency of ancestral traditions, from ancestral shamanic practices to Kundalini yoga. This episode honors the cultural tapestry that shapes our healing processes, revealing how embracing our heritage can illuminate the road to recovery and self-empowerment.
As a priestess and ritual facilitator, Melanie has witnessed firsthand the enchantment that rituals and ceremonies can infuse into our daily lives, transforming mundane routines into powerful acts of intention. This episode is an invitation to explore the awe-inspiring effects of integrating ancestral connections and intentional practices to combat the stressors of the modern world.
This episode also showcases how creating moments of meaning can foster mental and physical well-being. Tune in and discover how you, too, can weave the magic of ritual into your everyday existence for a richer, more connected life.
And join us and Melanie again on Friday March 8th at noon ET as we kick off our new Embodied Worth Speaker Series.
You can find Melanie on Instagram at @theselflovelifestyle and join her Daily Guided Rituals Membership.
✨ You are meant to shine. ✨
Stay in touch! Sign up for our weekly emails or follow us on social on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Hey Sarah, Hi Sarah, we're back.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
We're back.
We're back for our podcast, andso are all of you.
We're happy to have you heretoday.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome.
Our program, embodied Worth,starts this week, and so, to go
along with it, we're going to betalking to some of our speakers
that will be in the EmbodiedWorth speaker series, as well as
having conversations betweenthe two of us on the topics that
are in the program.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We're really excited about this because it's a
comprehensive program.
We talk about all of the thingsthat impact our work.
So how it shows up in our body,how it shows up in our emotions
, our boundaries, ourrelationships, each aspect of
our life, each aspect of ourworthiness wheel, is addressed
in this program and we want allof you to join it and, by the
(00:51):
way, all of you still have timeto join it, so please do.
We have a special discount codefor you in the description of
this podcast.
You can always reach out to usfor more support, but it's going
to be transformational,especially the speaker series.
I'm really excited about this,especially after our
conversation with Melanie.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
We just had the best conversation with Melanie Monaco
, who is a self-love coach and apriestess.
She created the self-love coachcertification course, which is
a seven-month program,accredited program for self-love
coaching.
She is a ritual facilitator,initiator.
She does guided ritualmembership.
(01:34):
She has a podcast, MotherhoodRebirth.
She has a podcast, theSelf-Love Lifestyle.
She does it all and she does itwith such beautiful grace and
authenticity and sweetness.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I could not stop just nodding my head as we were
talking to her.
She's so in alignment with ourwork and y'all are going to hear
that when you listen to it, thestories that she tells, the
experiences that she broughtforward on the podcast, like I
was taking notes, not just forthe interview but like for me to
implement in my own life.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Totally.
By the end I was like I'mjoining the guided ritual
membership, sign me up.
So without further ado, we wantyou to experience Melanie.
After this podcast, you'll getto hear her again at the
Embodied Worth Speaker Series.
Information below oh, melanie,welcome to the Art of Self-Worth
podcast today.
(02:31):
We are so happy you're here.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I'm so happy to be here.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
We're having this conversation today because this
Friday you'll be joining us fora live conversation for our new
Embodied Worth Speaker Series,to talk about coming home to
yourself.
What does coming home toyourself mean to you?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay.
So I'm really excited to answerthis because you and I were
having a little voice notes backand forth about it.
I thought it was so funnybecause last year I was in a
mentorship and the mentor waslike you just need to come home
to yourself, keep coming home toyourself.
And I was like what the F doesthat mean?
Like I'm always in myself, likeI was so resistant and I, you
(03:17):
know, I'm sat with it and I'msat with it.
And then I thought it was soironic when you were like you're
going to do the coming home toyourself, I was like universe,
come on.
Like what does this mean?
And you know, I realized overthe last year I've been doing so
, I mean I've gone through somuch in the last few years like
dark night of the soul, stuff,and thank goodness I feel like
(03:41):
it's been exactly a year sinceI've really come out on the
other side of it and in thatprocess of healing I realized
it's coming home to yourself.
It's like coming home to yoursoul, like your inner wisdom,
soul, knowing that, like yourlived experiences, the like
traumatized parts of you, thelike exiled parts of you, the
(04:04):
parts of yourself, your beliefsystem, your inner voices that
think that, like the world isagainst you or it's all your
fault, or like the voices ofshame and judgment, Like sure
that that can be part of you andin you.
But that is not like yourauthentic soul self or I guess
in internal family systems itwould be called self energy.
(04:25):
Whether you look at it from aspiritual or psychological
perspective, it's the same right.
It's like this full, authentic,grounded, confident, resilient,
trusting self.
So when I think about cominghome to yourself, it's like that
self energy, that soul self,and sure I can have all these
other chaotic, traumatized partsof myself that I'm working with
(04:48):
and healing and connecting toand bringing love to.
But the best way to do that isthrough being really in touch
with my most authentic self.
And it's like enigmatic too.
It's something that you cantalk about, but you only get
once you feel into it and we'reall born with it.
So it's really just aboutremembering and returning, and
(05:10):
the process of remembering andreturning to yourself again and
again is a process of self love,which is why I love it.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I love what you said just there about a big aspect of
it is feeling it in yourselfand a lot of when we talk about
coming home to yourself.
That's a lot of it too.
It's figuring out emotions andhow they impact us, how our
emotions impact us in our body,in our mind, and especially what
happens if we ignore thoseemotions, if we numb them down,
(05:43):
if we try to push them away.
I was just wondering how haveyou seen that manifest, either
with yourself or with otherpeople?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I mean, I'm definitely experienced that with
myself.
Yeah, the emotions, oh mygoodness, so okay.
So one of the strategies that Ireally love and that has been a
great service to me that I useagain and again and again is
when I experience anuncomfortable emotion, I try to
(06:15):
see how this emotion wants topresent itself to me.
When I studied archetypalpsychology in college, I viewed
this through the lens ofmythology and folklore.
So the way it would show upwould be through archetypes and
deities.
For those listening who don'tknow what I mean by archetype,
(06:35):
it's like Cinderella is anarchetype, these mythic figures
that you see in stories againand again and again, or the
maiden mother crone, are threearchetypes.
So that's how they would showup.
When I started doing internalfamily systems with my therapist
, it started showing up as myinner child, these versions of
me, and now it's this wholeamalgamation of all these other
(06:57):
things.
So the tool that I love to useand I also do in coaching with
clients and the people that Itrain is like how can we
identify this emotionalexperience as an entity so that
we can negotiate with saidentity?
So much easier than justslapping an affirmation across,
(07:17):
something which, like I loveaffirmation work.
I use mantras and affirmationsall the time but I realized I
was like having this emotionalexperience that was very
challenging and I was like, okay, I am safe, I am positive, I am
safe, I wasn't doing anythingfor me.
And then I was like, once Istarted to be like, okay, let me
(07:39):
actually go into that darkness,let me go into the grief, let
me go into the anxiety, let mego into the fear and see my soul
self like actually caress andlove and hold these like
entities within me and they likeshow up in all different things
(07:59):
.
Right, as I said, they'd showup as like mythic archetypal
figures and like I have an evilstepmother part, you know.
But then I also have this likeweird, like flaming ping pong
ball part that like sometimesjust needs to be held a little
bit, you know.
And one of the things I loveabout working in that way is
especially like, as a priestess,initiate and ritual facilitator
, I come from a space ofunderstanding, this very like
(08:24):
ancient spiritual earth basedway of connecting, and when we
are working with these parts ofourselves, it is like talking,
speaking the language of thesoul.
The soul speaks throughmetaphor and symbols.
The soul does not speak to usthrough, like in English usually
(08:46):
, though, it can, but, like mostof the time, it's in these more
metaphoric ways, and I love toconnect with my emotions in that
way, because I know I'm doingthis soul work, and I know I'm
doing it in a way that has beenpracticed for thousands and
thousands of years and has beenproven by, like, modern day
(09:10):
psychological research.
You know, it has, like thisdouble fold experience, for me,
amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And I love the pointing out because I think the
first thing people hear whenthey hear self love, coach, or
self love in general, isaffirmations and like love me,
some affirmations, love me, someaffirmations, just like you,
and like there's so much more toit and there's so much more
connection that can happen.
Which is why I've loved EFTtapping is because it's really
(09:39):
like bringing that body togetherwith the mind, with the soul,
to return to self.
Yeah, when you are reallyconnecting back to your soul
piece, to those archetypes, whatput your body like?
How do you inform your body inthis?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
That is such a good question and I also I just want
to respond to what you saidabout EFT, because I love EFT
too and what I love about it isit doesn't toxic bypass, like
you do.
The statement of like thisreally freaking sucks, like I
hate this.
I mean, do that part.
I just when I started doingthat, I was like this feels so
good.
You know, to just acknowledgethe pain first and then to like
(10:25):
cover it with the like positivework.
I just I love that.
So, yes, I agree, eft tappingis so transformative and I'm so
glad that you offer that in thisspace.
How does this?
How do I like get my bodyinvolved?
Well, the first thing I do whenworking with these entities
(10:46):
within me or these parts ofmyself again, whatever lineage
you want to come from, whetherit's internal family systems or
not, like just archetypal,psychology or spiritual lineage
you know you call it differentthings but the first thing I do
is like where does this live inor around my body, where is it
in me?
And I go to that feeling first.
So, if I'm working with like avoice or a belief, that is like
(11:09):
the imposter syndrome, right?
So many entrepreneurs and somany people have this.
It's like where, where is thatwithin me?
And for me it's like kind ofbehind my left ear and again,
like these things are sopersonal and don't we don't
always have to like make senseof them, but it's just going to
(11:30):
that feeling and having abackground, as I started dancing
when I was like two which iswild to think about because my
son is two and my mom was a yogateacher and a group and her
yoga classes and then taughtyoga myself and then group
fitness, so I've always beenlike very in in movement and so
I think for me, like I've hadthat ability to connect and feel
(11:55):
into my body.
But I think for people who maybedon't have that same background
, it really is like the morethat you, to your best
accessibility and safety, likemove your body in order to feel
these different parts of yourbody, in order to feel like, wow
, I continually have tensionbehind my shoulder blades, like
where is what's holding that?
(12:15):
Like why, where is that tensionfrom?
And like what is the emotionalcontext of it?
Like just getting to know yourbody is such a beautiful,
beautiful way to like begin todo the somatic work and even now
, like I just started workingwith a massage therapist and I I
showed up to her office.
I was, like I am not here torelax, like get the trauma, get
(12:37):
this trauma out of my body.
Like I am here for you to likeget this stuff out.
I don't want it anymore.
Because I know, like and she,you know she laughed of course,
and like it is so relaxing.
But I also know that like thereI'm with the intention of like
doing that work of with releaseand it with, because of that
(13:00):
it's like so much more impactful.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Oh my gosh, that is so beautiful.
I've never heard somebody makethat link between like
consciously going to a bodyworker to help release not your
attention in your body but thetension in your soul.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
That's so cool.
Yeah, well, after I gave birth,I did not have the experience
that I had planned or wanted,even though I wasn't really
having physical symptoms.
I went to a pelvic floortherapist because I was like you
(13:35):
know, I know that this is stuckin my body somewhere and my I
ended up with PTSD from my birthand so I was just in like
regular therapy.
I did EMDR, you know, I did allof the like psychological tools
and of course, I was doingceremony for myself.
But then I realized, wait, I'mnot doing the body, because I
(13:57):
wasn't having these like bigphysical symptoms.
I didn't think about it.
But then, once I startedincorporating that into the
healing experience, I do thinkit made.
It made a really big differencefor me and the way that I just
relate relate to my body,because for a while it was like
I would get on my mat and Iwould start moving and breathing
and it would remind me of beingin labor and I was like, oh,
(14:18):
okay, I need to.
My body is.
This isn't my mind rememberingit, it's my body.
So how can I reprogram that?
And, yeah, now I can easily doyoga and move and breathe and
not have flashbacks.
Think, think the goddess.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
One of the reasons.
We have countless reasons sofar.
We are so excited that you'rejoining us, but you're focused
on ritual.
You're a goddess.
So, like a goddess, you're agoddess and you're also a
priestess.
That's what I would say.
But you're both right and weall are, and, in particular,
calling yourself a priestess inthis modern world is bold.
(14:55):
So I know that ritual is asuper impactful part of your
life and I'm just curious aboutwhen did you first realize the
impact of ritual?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Oh, my goodness.
Well, my first ceremony that Iever remember, I was, I don't
know, like four years old, maybefive.
My great uncle, so mygrandmother's brother, was a
shaman.
His name was Hayoka and he didthis really important work in
our family of connecting withour indigenous roots.
(15:29):
And you know, we have, I have agreat, great great grandmother.
We believe her indigenous namewas Lulaski.
The records are like, of course, so hard.
I like continue to do researchon this.
My grandmother's cousin haddone a bunch of research on this
.
So, thank goodness, like somany of the people who came
(15:52):
before me and my family reallyset the stage for this.
But you know, it was verylikely that she was kidnapped or
she was forced into a marriage.
These things are stillhappening today, and so a lot of
my great uncle's work was likerealizing okay, we have for him.
His great grandmother carriedwith her this beautiful way of
(16:16):
connecting to the land.
Originally she would have beenin Tennessee, I think, and then
Missouri, all over the place inthe South.
But so he went and he livedwith a couple of different
reservations.
He ended up becoming a sundancer with Crow Nation in
Montana and he did so much workin his community offering
(16:40):
ceremony and sweat lodges.
His modality with ceremony wasthe peace pipe and a very
specific lineage of work.
So I grew up in his ceremoniesand simultaneously, as I said,
my mom was a yoga teacher.
So I also grew up and she didKundalini yoga which, like I
mean, you know, that's like themost like esoteric, like
(17:03):
spiritual out there for us herein the West way of engaging with
yoga.
So I had these really beautifulinfluences.
And then my grandmother was thelike daughter of a Baptist
minister and broke with angels.
So I had like all thesedifferent things going on in my
family.
And then my dad is like a fullon atheist.
So it was really interesting,you know, to grow up with all of
(17:27):
those influences.
So when my uncle you know, overtime, like he and I in our
relationship realized like wow,we both really vibe with this
whole ceremony thing and hisdaughters weren't interested in
doing ceremony and so heinitiated me with, like I will
(17:47):
say, a very mild mini visionquest when I was in my mid
twenties or early twenties.
And yeah, by that point I'dgotten my yoga teacher training
and was doing like energyhealing and I feel like for me I
actually just started to holdso much more reverence.
(18:09):
For this week I realized mygoddess cards that I have.
Those who are listening to thiswon't be able to see, but if
there's a video they'll be ableto see.
I have had these goddess cardssince I was 13, because I bought
these for my 13th birthdayparty, in which we were at my
favorite Moroccan restaurantbecause there was always belly
dancers there and I'd been goingthere my whole childhood and
(18:32):
made friends with the bellydancers and they'd always invite
me up to belly dance with themand I was like I want to have my
13th birthday party here and wedid.
And I went around the room andall my 12-year-old, 13-year-old
middle school friends werepulling goddess cards and the
belly dancer came and I wasbelly dancing with her and I
realized I threw a divinefeminine ceremony for myself
(18:53):
when I was 13.
I didn't even realize it and so, okay, fast forward to starting
the self-love lifestyle in mybusiness.
I thought I wanted to be ahealth coach.
If you had told me I was goingto be a priestess, I would have
been like what?
But it's really.
I mean, it's been a coming hometo myself, right, because I'm
(19:14):
looking at like I just did aretreat last September.
We pulled these goddess cards,we did belly dancing and it's
just like this has always been apart of my life and a part of
me, and because it's just solike out there and not
mainstream, like it, just Ididn't even think it could be
like a career, but here I am,like hosting a retreat, getting
(19:34):
paid to do the same thing I didat my 13th birthday party,
really standing on the shouldersof, you know, my uncle and my
mom and my grandmother and thesebeautiful influences, and now
I'm on the path.
I'm a priestess initiate withthe 13 Moon Mystery School,
because I was calling myself aritual facilitator beforehand,
(19:55):
and then I came across thisparticular lineage of work, and
I you know it's so important tome to be in a really ethical
place when it comes to spiritualleadership or any kind of
leadership, and so, though I'dhad this incredible blessing of
working with my great uncle, Ialso honor the fact that, like,
(20:16):
the majority of my family arecolonizers, right and like
people from Northern Europe, andso what does it look like for
me to decolonize that part of mylineage and to go back to, like
these Avalonian mysteries ofGreat Britain where my ancestors
are from.
I have ancestors who were, youknow, in Scotland before the
Roman invasion, before theCrusades, before the Abrahamic
(20:38):
religion.
So what would it be like for meto do that healing work and
that shadow work on that lineageof my family, you know, because
my uncle did all of thisbeautiful work to bring forward
the indigenous wisdom andremember that, with the blessing
of his communities that he wasin, what would it be like for me
to bring some of that forward,and also this whole other part
of my bloodline, which is whereI'm at now, in doing this
(21:01):
priestessing work?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I love all that.
I can just also picture 13 yearold Melanie belly dancing and
pulling cards like gosh.
So, knowing some of thelisteners out, there are going
to be newbies to this ritual.
What is one thing that eitheryou have in your own regular
(21:26):
practice that's, daily or thatyou would offer as a way to
start bringing ritual into yourlife?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Oh man, well, we all do rituals.
So rituals there's evidencethat Neanderthals were doing
rituals before home of sapiensever existed.
Okay, no-transcript.
This is a legit like.
Our human existence has alwaysbeen ritualistic because it
predates our human Homo sapienspecies, and there's just
(21:58):
evidence of sacred ceremoniesthat go back as far as as
anthropologists can find.
We're very ritualistic as aspecies and Even outside of our
species.
Animals are also veryritualistic.
Right Like there's thisbeautiful thing about elephants
grieving together andsurrounding a mother when she's
giving birth.
Right Like this, this is notjust us, it's very inherent to
(22:21):
our planet and we just have thisas humans, weird consciousness
that like it makes us somehowdifferent from other animals.
That like.
If somebody has the answer tothat, please let me know,
because always my existentialcrisis is musing about it.
But we have this ability tobring ritual into so much of our
lives and it's like yourmorning coffee is a ritual,
(22:44):
right?
Or your morning tea.
Brushing your teeth every dayPlease do it twice a day is a
ritual.
Like putting on your seat beltbefore you start driving Please
do that too is a ritual right,like these things that we do all
the time are rituals, and whenI'm coming from is like, how can
we make these things alsoceremonial right?
So it's like rituals are.
(23:04):
We're just ritualistic innature.
The difference between us andour ancestors like all of our
ancestors, if you go back farenough is that their rituals
were also ceremonial, and All wehave to do to engage with that.
You know, really, blood memorywe all carry is in view ceremony
(23:29):
, and to our rituals that wealready have.
It's so simple and all you haveto do is do is just be
intentional about it, and thethings like the somatic work,
like Connecting to your body,connecting to your breath,
getting to know yourself on adeeper level, like your
emotional self, and then, ofcourse, if you want to go there,
like your spiritual beliefsystems and the deities or
energies that you work with,will imbue your ceremonial
(23:54):
Rituals with so much moremeaning.
And it's really about findingmeaning.
And you know, there's all theseincredible studies coming out.
I'm just reading I'm reading abook right now and this is the
second book I've read on thistopic about awe and enchantment
and how it is something that islike really missing from our
modern-day society and that ithelps with depression and
(24:17):
anxiety and like clinicaldiagnoses, both physical and
mental.
And I'm realizing ceremonies forme create that sense of awe and
wonder and and, so to speak, tolike the skeptic mind that like
I have and so many of us have,like there are so many ways that
you can prove Scientificallyhow important ceremony is.
(24:40):
Cultivating on wonder is justone of those ways.
But also community connection.
You don't have to be incommunity to do ceremony but
like that is a big part of it ifyou allow it to be and and you
know, like the studies with theblue zones are actually not so
much about like how much fatyou're eating or whether or not
You're drinking red wine orwhatever.
It's like the people incommunity right, it's like
(25:04):
having that structure ofconnectedness and I feel like
ceremony, if we can find thepeople to do that with, it, adds
that, that magic quality inthat really our bodies respond
to in health and vitality.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
That's beautiful.
I love the fact it's a ritualplus ceremony.
That is just so beautiful,lovely distinction.
So one way that people can getto know you more is by joining
us on Friday live.
It's at noon Eastern time, butfor people that are either busy
then or who are listening tothis later or just want more of
(25:44):
you, melanie, can you tell ushow people can find you?
What's the best way to connectwith you?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
Yeah, I share a lot on Instagram.
I have a really beautiful, cozycommunity there and I go live
every so often to pull thosesame goddess cards, so you want
me to pull a goddess card foryou.
That's a really great space toconnect with me, and I have a
website, melaniemonacocom, whereyou can find my offers.
If you are interested inexploring ritual, I have a
(26:14):
guided rituals membership, whichis a really easy way to bring
ritual into your daily life.
My rituals are 20 minutes orless, and I hear again and again
from members that they're likeI could never commit to a
meditation practice before, orlike I couldn't commit to a
daily spiritual practice before.
I just didn't have the quotewillpower to do it.
And now that I'm in thismembership, I feel like I can do
(26:37):
it because it's so easy andsimple and effective.
All I have to do is log on tothe app on my phone and like
it's there and it's always likerelevant and this was my
practice that I started doing.
It's really like three parts.
It's divination, so usually acard poll, or maybe it's about
the astrology, or the solsticeor the Gwinox, or like whatever
(27:00):
influence is coming forward orjust my intuitive nudge about
what our community is needing,and then a inspirational
conversation of like this iswhat this might mean for you,
bringing in some of my coachingbackground of like here are some
ways we can think about this orwork with us.
And then an integration practice, which is the somatic work.
(27:20):
It's often like a guidedmeditation, a soul journey.
I do tapping, you know, energywork, all these different
modalities.
Depending on the message thatcomes through, I pair it with a
modality that brings it deeperin, and it's less than 20
minutes every time.
And you know, the joke is like,no matter what you're going
through, I have a ritual forthat.
So I feel like that's a reallygreat place to start.
(27:41):
It's a seven day free trial andthen it's a dollar a day.
It's like a very low bar ofentry, but that's something that
I'm really excited about and Ihave, you know, like big
structured programs andofferings too, but based on this
conversation, I feel likethat's the most relevant thing
that I would share.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Love it.
Thank you so much for your timetoday and sharing part of your
story and your journey with us,and we're excited to hear you
again next week about cominghome to yourself.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yeah, it's going to be so fun.
We'll talk all about a lot ofthe self love work that I do and
the different ways that you cancome home to yourself, and it's
going to be done in a very likeceremonial way so that you the
participants listening are ableto be resourced with a way to
(28:33):
come home to yourself that isunique and authentic to you, and
I know it's a bit enigmatic but, like, trust me, it's going to
be amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Thank you, melanie.
So so much.
It's been such a joy to get toknow you a little bit more, and
here's to Friday.
I can't wait to dive evendeeper.
Hey Sarah, Hi Sarah, we're back.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
We're back.
We're back for our podcast, andso are all of you.
We're happy to have you heretoday.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome.
Our program, embodied Worth,starts this week, and so, to go
along with it, we're going to betalking to some of our speakers
that will be in the EmbodiedWorth speaker series, as well as
having conversations betweenthe two of us on the topics that
are in the program.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We're really excited about this because it's a
comprehensive program.
We talk about all of the thingsthat impact our work.
So how it shows up in our body,how it shows up in our emotions
, our boundaries, ourrelationships, each aspect of
our life, each aspect of ourworthiness wheel, is addressed
in this program and we want allof you to join it and, by the
(00:51):
way, all of you still have timeto join it, so please do.
We have a special discount codefor you in the description of
this podcast.
You can always reach out to usfor more support, but it's going
to be transformational,especially the speaker series.
I'm really excited about this,especially after our
conversation with Melanie.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
We just had the best conversation with Melanie Monaco
, who is a self-love coach and apriestess.
She created the self-love coachcertification course, which is
a seven-month program,accredited program for self-love
coaching.
She is a ritual facilitator,initiator.
She does guided ritualmembership.
(01:34):
She has a podcast, MotherhoodRebirth.
She has a podcast, theSelf-Love Lifestyle.
She does it all and she does itwith such beautiful grace and
authenticity and sweetness.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I could not stop just nodding my head as we were
talking to her.
She's so in alignment with ourwork and y'all are going to hear
that when you listen to it, thestories that she tells, the
experiences that she broughtforward on the podcast, like I
was taking notes, not just forthe interview but like for me to
implement in my own life.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Totally.
By the end I was like I'mjoining the guided ritual
membership, sign me up.
So without further ado, we wantyou to experience Melanie.
After this podcast, you'll getto hear her again at the
Embodied Worth Speaker Series.
Information below oh, melanie,welcome to the Art of Self-Worth
podcast today.
(02:31):
We are so happy you're here.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I'm so happy to be here.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
We're having this conversation today because this
Friday you'll be joining us fora live conversation for our new
Embodied Worth Speaker Series,to talk about coming home to
yourself.
What does coming home toyourself mean to you?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay.
So I'm really excited to answerthis because you and I were
having a little voice notes backand forth about it.
I thought it was so funnybecause last year I was in a
mentorship and the mentor waslike you just need to come home
to yourself, keep coming home toyourself.
And I was like what the F doesthat mean?
Like I'm always in myself, likeI was so resistant and I, you
(03:17):
know, I'm sat with it and I'msat with it.
And then I thought it was soironic when you were like you're
going to do the coming home toyourself, I was like universe,
come on.
Like what does this mean?
And you know, I realized overthe last year I've been doing so
, I mean I've gone through somuch in the last few years like
dark night of the soul, stuff,and thank goodness I feel like
(03:41):
it's been exactly a year sinceI've really come out on the
other side of it and in thatprocess of healing I realized
it's coming home to yourself.
It's like coming home to yoursoul, like your inner wisdom,
soul, knowing that, like yourlived experiences, the like
traumatized parts of you, thelike exiled parts of you, the
(04:04):
parts of yourself, your beliefsystem, your inner voices that
think that, like the world isagainst you or it's all your
fault, or like the voices ofshame and judgment, Like sure
that that can be part of you andin you.
But that is not like yourauthentic soul self or I guess
in internal family systems itwould be called self energy.
(04:25):
Whether you look at it from aspiritual or psychological
perspective, it's the same right.
It's like this full, authentic,grounded, confident, resilient,
trusting self.
So when I think about cominghome to yourself, it's like that
self energy, that soul self,and sure I can have all these
other chaotic, traumatized partsof myself that I'm working with
(04:48):
and healing and connecting toand bringing love to.
But the best way to do that isthrough being really in touch
with my most authentic self.
And it's like enigmatic too.
It's something that you cantalk about, but you only get
once you feel into it and we'reall born with it.
So it's really just aboutremembering and returning, and
(05:10):
the process of remembering andreturning to yourself again and
again is a process of self love,which is why I love it.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I love what you said just there about a big aspect of
it is feeling it in yourselfand a lot of when we talk about
coming home to yourself.
That's a lot of it too.
It's figuring out emotions andhow they impact us, how our
emotions impact us in our body,in our mind, and especially what
happens if we ignore thoseemotions, if we numb them down,
(05:43):
if we try to push them away.
I was just wondering how haveyou seen that manifest, either
with yourself or with otherpeople?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I mean, I'm definitely experienced that with
myself.
Yeah, the emotions, oh mygoodness, so okay.
So one of the strategies that Ireally love and that has been a
great service to me that I useagain and again and again is
when I experience anuncomfortable emotion, I try to
(06:15):
see how this emotion wants topresent itself to me.
When I studied archetypalpsychology in college, I viewed
this through the lens ofmythology and folklore.
So the way it would show upwould be through archetypes and
deities.
For those listening who don'tknow what I mean by archetype,
(06:35):
it's like Cinderella is anarchetype, these mythic figures
that you see in stories againand again and again, or the
maiden mother crone, are threearchetypes.
So that's how they would showup.
When I started doing internalfamily systems with my therapist
, it started showing up as myinner child, these versions of
me, and now it's this wholeamalgamation of all these other
(06:57):
things.
So the tool that I love to useand I also do in coaching with
clients and the people that Itrain is like how can we
identify this emotionalexperience as an entity so that
we can negotiate with saidentity?
So much easier than justslapping an affirmation across,
(07:17):
something which, like I loveaffirmation work.
I use mantras and affirmationsall the time but I realized I
was like having this emotionalexperience that was very
challenging and I was like, okay, I am safe, I am positive, I am
safe, I wasn't doing anythingfor me.
And then I was like, once Istarted to be like, okay, let me
(07:39):
actually go into that darkness,let me go into the grief, let
me go into the anxiety, let mego into the fear and see my soul
self like actually caress andlove and hold these like
entities within me and they likeshow up in all different things
(07:59):
.
Right, as I said, they'd showup as like mythic archetypal
figures and like I have an evilstepmother part, you know.
But then I also have this likeweird, like flaming ping pong
ball part that like sometimesjust needs to be held a little
bit, you know.
And one of the things I loveabout working in that way is
especially like, as a priestess,initiate and ritual facilitator
, I come from a space ofunderstanding, this very like
(08:24):
ancient spiritual earth basedway of connecting, and when we
are working with these parts ofourselves, it is like talking,
speaking the language of thesoul.
The soul speaks throughmetaphor and symbols.
The soul does not speak to usthrough, like in English usually
(08:46):
, though, it can, but, like mostof the time, it's in these more
metaphoric ways, and I love toconnect with my emotions in that
way, because I know I'm doingthis soul work, and I know I'm
doing it in a way that has beenpracticed for thousands and
thousands of years and has beenproven by, like, modern day
(09:10):
psychological research.
You know, it has, like thisdouble fold experience, for me,
amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And I love the pointing out because I think the
first thing people hear whenthey hear self love, coach, or
self love in general, isaffirmations and like love me,
some affirmations, love me, someaffirmations, just like you,
and like there's so much more toit and there's so much more
connection that can happen.
Which is why I've loved EFTtapping is because it's really
(09:39):
like bringing that body togetherwith the mind, with the soul,
to return to self.
Yeah, when you are reallyconnecting back to your soul
piece, to those archetypes, whatput your body like?
How do you inform your body inthis?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
That is such a good question and I also I just want
to respond to what you saidabout EFT, because I love EFT
too and what I love about it isit doesn't toxic bypass, like
you do.
The statement of like thisreally freaking sucks, like I
hate this.
I mean, do that part.
I just when I started doingthat, I was like this feels so
good.
You know, to just acknowledgethe pain first and then to like
(10:25):
cover it with the like positivework.
I just I love that.
So, yes, I agree, eft tappingis so transformative and I'm so
glad that you offer that in thisspace.
How does this?
How do I like get my bodyinvolved?
Well, the first thing I do whenworking with these entities
(10:46):
within me or these parts ofmyself again, whatever lineage
you want to come from, whetherit's internal family systems or
not, like just archetypal,psychology or spiritual lineage
you know you call it differentthings but the first thing I do
is like where does this live inor around my body, where is it
in me?
And I go to that feeling first.
So, if I'm working with like avoice or a belief, that is like
(11:09):
the imposter syndrome, right?
So many entrepreneurs and somany people have this.
It's like where, where is thatwithin me?
And for me it's like kind ofbehind my left ear and again,
like these things are sopersonal and don't we don't
always have to like make senseof them, but it's just going to
(11:30):
that feeling and having abackground, as I started dancing
when I was like two which iswild to think about because my
son is two and my mom was a yogateacher and a group and her
yoga classes and then taughtyoga myself and then group
fitness, so I've always beenlike very in in movement and so
I think for me, like I've hadthat ability to connect and feel
(11:55):
into my body.
But I think for people who maybedon't have that same background
, it really is like the morethat you, to your best
accessibility and safety, likemove your body in order to feel
these different parts of yourbody, in order to feel like, wow
, I continually have tensionbehind my shoulder blades, like
where is what's holding that?
(12:15):
Like why, where is that tensionfrom?
And like what is the emotionalcontext of it?
Like just getting to know yourbody is such a beautiful,
beautiful way to like begin todo the somatic work and even now
, like I just started workingwith a massage therapist and I I
showed up to her office.
I was, like I am not here torelax, like get the trauma, get
(12:37):
this trauma out of my body.
Like I am here for you to likeget this stuff out.
I don't want it anymore.
Because I know, like and she,you know she laughed of course,
and like it is so relaxing.
But I also know that like thereI'm with the intention of like
doing that work of with releaseand it with, because of that
(13:00):
it's like so much more impactful.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Oh my gosh, that is so beautiful.
I've never heard somebody makethat link between like
consciously going to a bodyworker to help release not your
attention in your body but thetension in your soul.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
That's so cool.
Yeah, well, after I gave birth,I did not have the experience
that I had planned or wanted,even though I wasn't really
having physical symptoms.
I went to a pelvic floortherapist because I was like you
(13:35):
know, I know that this is stuckin my body somewhere and my I
ended up with PTSD from my birthand so I was just in like
regular therapy.
I did EMDR, you know, I did allof the like psychological tools
and of course, I was doingceremony for myself.
But then I realized, wait, I'mnot doing the body, because I
(13:57):
wasn't having these like bigphysical symptoms.
I didn't think about it.
But then, once I startedincorporating that into the
healing experience, I do thinkit made.
It made a really big differencefor me and the way that I just
relate relate to my body,because for a while it was like
I would get on my mat and Iwould start moving and breathing
and it would remind me of beingin labor and I was like, oh,
(14:18):
okay, I need to.
My body is.
This isn't my mind rememberingit, it's my body.
So how can I reprogram that?
And, yeah, now I can easily doyoga and move and breathe and
not have flashbacks.
Think, think the goddess.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
One of the reasons.
We have countless reasons sofar.
We are so excited that you'rejoining us, but you're focused
on ritual.
You're a goddess.
So, like a goddess, you're agoddess and you're also a
priestess.
That's what I would say.
But you're both right and weall are, and, in particular,
calling yourself a priestess inthis modern world is bold.
(14:55):
So I know that ritual is asuper impactful part of your
life and I'm just curious aboutwhen did you first realize the
impact of ritual?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Oh, my goodness.
Well, my first ceremony that Iever remember, I was, I don't
know, like four years old, maybefive.
My great uncle, so mygrandmother's brother, was a
shaman.
His name was Hayoka and he didthis really important work in
our family of connecting withour indigenous roots.
(15:29):
And you know, we have, I have agreat, great great grandmother.
We believe her indigenous namewas Lulaski.
The records are like, of course, so hard.
I like continue to do researchon this.
My grandmother's cousin haddone a bunch of research on this
.
So, thank goodness, like somany of the people who came
(15:52):
before me and my family reallyset the stage for this.
But you know, it was verylikely that she was kidnapped or
she was forced into a marriage.
These things are stillhappening today, and so a lot of
my great uncle's work was likerealizing okay, we have for him.
His great grandmother carriedwith her this beautiful way of
(16:16):
connecting to the land.
Originally she would have beenin Tennessee, I think, and then
Missouri, all over the place inthe South.
But so he went and he livedwith a couple of different
reservations.
He ended up becoming a sundancer with Crow Nation in
Montana and he did so much workin his community offering
(16:40):
ceremony and sweat lodges.
His modality with ceremony wasthe peace pipe and a very
specific lineage of work.
So I grew up in his ceremoniesand simultaneously, as I said,
my mom was a yoga teacher.
So I also grew up and she didKundalini yoga which, like I
mean, you know, that's like themost like esoteric, like
(17:03):
spiritual out there for us herein the West way of engaging with
yoga.
So I had these really beautifulinfluences.
And then my grandmother was thelike daughter of a Baptist
minister and broke with angels.
So I had like all thesedifferent things going on in my
family.
And then my dad is like a fullon atheist.
So it was really interesting,you know, to grow up with all of
(17:27):
those influences.
So when my uncle you know, overtime, like he and I in our
relationship realized like wow,we both really vibe with this
whole ceremony thing and hisdaughters weren't interested in
doing ceremony and so heinitiated me with, like I will
(17:47):
say, a very mild mini visionquest when I was in my mid
twenties or early twenties.
And yeah, by that point I'dgotten my yoga teacher training
and was doing like energyhealing and I feel like for me I
actually just started to holdso much more reverence.
(18:09):
For this week I realized mygoddess cards that I have.
Those who are listening to thiswon't be able to see, but if
there's a video they'll be ableto see.
I have had these goddess cardssince I was 13, because I bought
these for my 13th birthdayparty, in which we were at my
favorite Moroccan restaurantbecause there was always belly
dancers there and I'd been goingthere my whole childhood and
(18:32):
made friends with the bellydancers and they'd always invite
me up to belly dance with themand I was like I want to have my
13th birthday party here and wedid.
And I went around the room andall my 12-year-old, 13-year-old
middle school friends werepulling goddess cards and the
belly dancer came and I wasbelly dancing with her and I
realized I threw a divinefeminine ceremony for myself
(18:53):
when I was 13.
I didn't even realize it and so, okay, fast forward to starting
the self-love lifestyle in mybusiness.
I thought I wanted to be ahealth coach.
If you had told me I was goingto be a priestess, I would have
been like what?
But it's really.
I mean, it's been a coming hometo myself, right, because I'm
(19:14):
looking at like I just did aretreat last September.
We pulled these goddess cards,we did belly dancing and it's
just like this has always been apart of my life and a part of
me, and because it's just solike out there and not
mainstream, like it, just Ididn't even think it could be
like a career, but here I am,like hosting a retreat, getting
(19:34):
paid to do the same thing I didat my 13th birthday party,
really standing on the shouldersof, you know, my uncle and my
mom and my grandmother and thesebeautiful influences, and now
I'm on the path.
I'm a priestess initiate withthe 13 Moon Mystery School,
because I was calling myself aritual facilitator beforehand,
(19:55):
and then I came across thisparticular lineage of work, and
I you know it's so important tome to be in a really ethical
place when it comes to spiritualleadership or any kind of
leadership, and so, though I'dhad this incredible blessing of
working with my great uncle, Ialso honor the fact that, like,
(20:16):
the majority of my family arecolonizers, right and like
people from Northern Europe, andso what does it look like for
me to decolonize that part of mylineage and to go back to, like
these Avalonian mysteries ofGreat Britain where my ancestors
are from.
I have ancestors who were, youknow, in Scotland before the
Roman invasion, before theCrusades, before the Abrahamic
(20:38):
religion.
So what would it be like for meto do that healing work and
that shadow work on that lineageof my family, you know, because
my uncle did all of thisbeautiful work to bring forward
the indigenous wisdom andremember that, with the blessing
of his communities that he wasin, what would it be like for me
to bring some of that forward,and also this whole other part
of my bloodline, which is whereI'm at now, in doing this
(21:01):
priestessing work?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I love all that.
I can just also picture 13 yearold Melanie belly dancing and
pulling cards like gosh.
So, knowing some of thelisteners out, there are going
to be newbies to this ritual.
What is one thing that eitheryou have in your own regular
(21:26):
practice that's, daily or thatyou would offer as a way to
start bringing ritual into yourlife?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Oh man, well, we all do rituals.
So rituals there's evidencethat Neanderthals were doing
rituals before home of sapiensever existed.
Okay, no-transcript.
This is a legit like.
Our human existence has alwaysbeen ritualistic because it
predates our human Homo sapienspecies, and there's just
(21:58):
evidence of sacred ceremoniesthat go back as far as as
anthropologists can find.
We're very ritualistic as aspecies and Even outside of our
species.
Animals are also veryritualistic.
Right Like there's thisbeautiful thing about elephants
grieving together andsurrounding a mother when she's
giving birth.
Right Like this, this is notjust us, it's very inherent to
(22:21):
our planet and we just have thisas humans, weird consciousness
that like it makes us somehowdifferent from other animals.
That like.
If somebody has the answer tothat, please let me know,
because always my existentialcrisis is musing about it.
But we have this ability tobring ritual into so much of our
lives and it's like yourmorning coffee is a ritual,
(22:44):
right?
Or your morning tea.
Brushing your teeth every dayPlease do it twice a day is a
ritual.
Like putting on your seat beltbefore you start driving Please
do that too is a ritual right,like these things that we do all
the time are rituals, and whenI'm coming from is like, how can
we make these things alsoceremonial right?
So it's like rituals are.
(23:04):
We're just ritualistic innature.
The difference between us andour ancestors like all of our
ancestors, if you go back farenough is that their rituals
were also ceremonial, and All wehave to do to engage with that.
You know, really, blood memorywe all carry is in view ceremony
(23:29):
, and to our rituals that wealready have.
It's so simple and all you haveto do is do is just be
intentional about it, and thethings like the somatic work,
like Connecting to your body,connecting to your breath,
getting to know yourself on adeeper level, like your
emotional self, and then, ofcourse, if you want to go there,
like your spiritual beliefsystems and the deities or
energies that you work with,will imbue your ceremonial
(23:54):
Rituals with so much moremeaning.
And it's really about findingmeaning.
And you know, there's all theseincredible studies coming out.
I'm just reading I'm reading abook right now and this is the
second book I've read on thistopic about awe and enchantment
and how it is something that islike really missing from our
modern-day society and that ithelps with depression and
(24:17):
anxiety and like clinicaldiagnoses, both physical and
mental.
And I'm realizing ceremonies forme create that sense of awe and
wonder and and, so to speak, tolike the skeptic mind that like
I have and so many of us have,like there are so many ways that
you can prove Scientificallyhow important ceremony is.
(24:40):
Cultivating on wonder is justone of those ways.
But also community connection.
You don't have to be incommunity to do ceremony but
like that is a big part of it ifyou allow it to be and and you
know, like the studies with theblue zones are actually not so
much about like how much fatyou're eating or whether or not
You're drinking red wine orwhatever.
It's like the people incommunity right, it's like
(25:04):
having that structure ofconnectedness and I feel like
ceremony, if we can find thepeople to do that with, it, adds
that, that magic quality inthat really our bodies respond
to in health and vitality.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
That's beautiful.
I love the fact it's a ritualplus ceremony.
That is just so beautiful,lovely distinction.
So one way that people can getto know you more is by joining
us on Friday live.
It's at noon Eastern time, butfor people that are either busy
then or who are listening tothis later or just want more of
(25:44):
you, melanie, can you tell ushow people can find you?
What's the best way to connectwith you?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
Yeah, I share a lot on Instagram.
I have a really beautiful, cozycommunity there and I go live
every so often to pull thosesame goddess cards, so you want
me to pull a goddess card foryou.
That's a really great space toconnect with me, and I have a
website, melaniemonacocom, whereyou can find my offers.
If you are interested inexploring ritual, I have a
(26:14):
guided rituals membership, whichis a really easy way to bring
ritual into your daily life.
My rituals are 20 minutes orless, and I hear again and again
from members that they're likeI could never commit to a
meditation practice before, orlike I couldn't commit to a
daily spiritual practice before.
I just didn't have the quotewillpower to do it.
And now that I'm in thismembership, I feel like I can do
(26:37):
it because it's so easy andsimple and effective.
All I have to do is log on tothe app on my phone and like
it's there and it's always likerelevant and this was my
practice that I started doing.
It's really like three parts.
It's divination, so usually acard poll, or maybe it's about
the astrology, or the solsticeor the Gwinox, or like whatever
(27:00):
influence is coming forward orjust my intuitive nudge about
what our community is needing,and then a inspirational
conversation of like this iswhat this might mean for you,
bringing in some of my coachingbackground of like here are some
ways we can think about this orwork with us.
And then an integration practice, which is the somatic work.
(27:20):
It's often like a guidedmeditation, a soul journey.
I do tapping, you know, energywork, all these different
modalities.
Depending on the message thatcomes through, I pair it with a
modality that brings it deeperin, and it's less than 20
minutes every time.
And you know, the joke is like,no matter what you're going
through, I have a ritual forthat.
So I feel like that's a reallygreat place to start.
(27:41):
It's a seven day free trial andthen it's a dollar a day.
It's like a very low bar ofentry, but that's something that
I'm really excited about and Ihave, you know, like big
structured programs andofferings too, but based on this
conversation, I feel likethat's the most relevant thing
that I would share.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Love it.
Thank you so much for your timetoday and sharing part of your
story and your journey with us,and we're excited to hear you
again next week about cominghome to yourself.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yeah, it's going to be so fun.
We'll talk all about a lot ofthe self love work that I do and
the different ways that you cancome home to yourself, and it's
going to be done in a very likeceremonial way so that you the
participants listening are ableto be resourced with a way to
(28:33):
come home to yourself that isunique and authentic to you, and
I know it's a bit enigmatic but, like, trust me, it's going to
be amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Thank you, melanie.
So so much.
It's been such a joy to get toknow you a little bit more, and
here's to Friday.
I can't wait to dive evendeeper.
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