August 20, 2024 • 31 mins
What happens when a serious health scare forces you to reassess your life choices? Lauree Ostrofsky's remarkable journey from a traditional PR career to becoming a beacon of women's empowerment offers an inspiring example. Lauree's transformative path began with a sabbatical through Europe and took a dramatic turn when she discovered she had a brain tumor. Her story underscores the power of resilience and the incredible potential that emerges when one follows their true calling.
We also dive into the empowering mantra "I'm Scared and Doing it Anyway," drawn from Lauree's personal experience. Lauree's openness about her vulnerabilities invites others to embrace their own fears. We discuss how self-kindness and understanding that fear is a natural part of life can lead to significant personal growth. Lauree highlights the power of curiosity in managing fear and the importance of nurturing oneself, just as you would a child facing their first big challenge.
Finally, we explore the importance of maintaining a positive mindset. Lauree shares invaluable insights on self-compassion, the role of "linchpins" in our personal development, and the impact of our thoughts, beliefs, and the people around us. As Lauree's story illustrates, while we can't always control our external circumstances, we have immense power over how we respond and the mindset we choose to cultivate. Join us for an enriching conversation that promises to leave you inspired and ready to harness your own resilience.
Stay in touch with Lauree on her website, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Facebook. You can also find out what kind of overthinker you are with this fun quiz!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sarah Kelly (00:00):
That was such a great conversation we just had
with Lauree, and it's hard tosay this in the way that sounds
right, but when people haveexperienced really challenging
things, there's often thisbeauty and this light and this
awareness that just kind ofexudes from existence.
Sarah Anne (00:17):
Yeah, I first got to know Laur back in 2019.
And I didn't know anythingabout her history, anything
about her past.
I just knew that she was thiskick-ass business owner here in
Datsun Valley that wasorganizing thousands of women,
creating this online network ofjust women supporting women.
And as I got to know her andlearning her story, her strength
(00:41):
and her presence and her justever-present kindness made a lot
of sense.
So a little bit about .
She started in a verytraditional career, so she lived
in New York City, she lived inDC, she worked with a lot of
consultant clients in PR,working with IBM, liz Claiborne,
(01:03):
voters, travel but then she hada shift and she had a big
health scare which we won't talkabout now because you'll need
to hear her sharing the story.
But that really made her take alook at her life and make the
big change that she has made forher current life and now she's,
like I said, a life coach.
(01:23):
She has two published books hermemoir I'm scared and doing it
anyways, and then a second bookthat's more focused on having a
successful business, calledsimply leap seven lessons of
facing fear and enjoying thecrap out of your life.
So jump on in and enjoy ourconversation.
It was a good one.
Hey, laure, welcome to thepodcast.
(01:46):
We are so excited to have youhere.
Oh, I'm thrilled to be here, too, so I actually I feel like you
know we've gotten to know eachother over the last couple of
years.
So I first got to know you whenI opened up Socrates Yoga and
was desperately looking forcommunity of business owners and
you, of course, are the founderof the Hudson Valley Women in
Business.
And then I've done a couple ofretreats with you also, and it's
(02:09):
just always been theconversations that you have
prompted, the thoughts thatyou've inspired, and just the
joy and kindness and compassionthat you bring in.
Your coaching has always beensuch a joy to experience.
So thank you for being on withus today.
Lauree (02:26):
Oh, that means so much, especially when you've attended
my retreats, knowing that youand Sarah host them.
It's such a compliment when aretreat host attends one of your
retreats, so I appreciate allthis.
We should also say that we'reboth in DC at the same time and
didn't know each other, and ourbackgrounds in public relations
(02:48):
and communications are the sameas well, so we have like history
, even though we didn't knoweach other.
Sarah Kelly (02:55):
I always forget that we are in DC at the same
time.
I love meeting, that Like.
I feel like anywhere I go,there's that DC connection.
Yeah, where I go, there's thatDC connection, yeah, all right.
So, talking about your DCconnection, your journey has had
a lot of twists and turns.
So you started in thattraditional corporate path and
(03:15):
now you've left that behind andyou've really focused on
embracing a life of purpose.
Can you share a little bit moreabout that pivotal moment that
inspired you to take the leapand pursue a more fulfilling
path.
Lauree (03:33):
I didn't mean to take a path.
I really was.
Yeah, I tend to work with Astudents and I was very much an
A student.
And an A student in my mind issomeone who is really
comfortable in third grade, likeall of the rules are written on
the board, probably inconstruction paper, and it's
like and I saw them and I'm like, okay, I can live up to those
things, I can get the gold star,the A, what's required.
(03:56):
And so I started my adult lifeafter college very much the same
way.
I was working in New York city,I had a boyfriend that my mom
liked, I had a 401k like a veryresponsible person would, and
climbing the corporate ladderand getting good reviews
annually, and started to feel,probably in my mid-20s, that
(04:19):
this wasn't necessarily the workI wanted to be doing and it
wasn't necessarily fulfilling.
And when I saw what my boss'sroles were, I wasn't.
It didn't seem like the path Iwanted to be on, but I didn't
know what another path could be,because I'd only ever done the
next thing that was required orexpected of me.
(04:40):
I basically had been kind offrustrated enough and had been
working with a coach and hadtaken actually, I had done
something really exciting thisyear prior this, when I had
taken a sabbatical from work.
No one had ever asked for onebefore.
(05:01):
I worked in a business of 30women and everyone was getting
married and having babies and Iwasn't doing either of those
things.
And I was like, but I have allthese accumulated days.
What if I just took them all atonce and did a sabbatical?
And everyone had agreed and itwas my first time traveling
(05:25):
Europe.
It was incredible and I thinkthat was what spurred me to say
like, okay, if I know that I cando this thing, that that um
carve this six week path of myown, what else was possible?
And so, um, so a year later, Ium looked, looked at my finances
(05:45):
like a very responsible, Astudent and I said, ok, I have
three to six months saved, I cango and figure out, I can quit
my job and I can figure it out,and if I had to, I can go back
and get a job.
And I made an appointment withmy three bosses at the time and
the same day as that appointment, I had a doctor's appointment
(06:09):
in the morning because I had anear infection that wouldn't go
away and they had done someextra tests.
And it's really lucky orperfect that I had the doctor's
appointment before I quit my job, because that was the moment
where I found out I had a braintumor.
And it's the same day.
It's like one of those thingsthat it sounds, you know, it
(06:31):
sounds like something out of abook and yet it's real life.
And it turns out as well thatthe woman who was running my
company at the time, her husband, had died of a brain tumor the
year prior, and so she had setup our health insurance in a
certain way that allowed me topay very little I mean just
unheard of, probably by today'sstandards.
(06:54):
But so so many things kind offell into place with this
gigantic, awful thing in themiddle of it, and I think that
so what I'd say is that I had asense of something and then this
gigantic, um, you know, healthissue and challenge and
monumental event in my lifehappened, and then, on the other
(07:16):
side of it, I was able to saylike okay, um, I mean we're
going to talk about the braintumor, but I'll say is kind of
to answer your question aboutlike what was the impetus to
keep moving is that on the otherside of it, the things that I
thought were scary like quittingmy job, disappointing my
(07:36):
parents or or my bosses wassuddenly not as scary as this
gigantic thing that I neverimagined was possible.
So sometimes we have theglimmer of something, something
else, and sometimes we need areally big push in a way that we
(07:59):
weren't expecting it to come.
Sarah Anne (08:02):
Oh, that's so beautiful.
And the synchronicities of justbeing taken care of in that
time.
It's amazing.
Let's pause there for a second.
Facing a brain tumor diagnosisis no small feat, right?
You ended up undergoing threesurgeries, the challenges that
(08:22):
came with that.
How did this experience shapeyour perspective of life,
resilience and your self-worth?
Lauree (08:32):
Well, I was.
I was only 28 at the time, so,um, and so I think that I hadn't
really thought I hadn't had amoment yet in my life.
I think most of us, dependingon your age, have at least one
of these moments where we thinkwe know the path we're on and
(08:52):
it's suddenly diverted and wedon't always have a choice of
what that diversion is is.
And so I think what I learnedabout life is how precious it is
, that the things I thought Ihad control over because I was
an, a student that plannedreally well and ate all her
(09:12):
vegetables and went to herdoctor's appointments and I'd
never had a bad doctor'sappointment before Like I was
like, oh, I'm doing all theright things, everything's going
to be fine, so you can do allthe right things and still bad
things can happen, and that wasreally traumatic, and that
(09:33):
probably was the hardest thingin all of what happened and what
took me the longest to makepeace with, which is the things
we think we have control over.
We don't, but we do havecontrol over things and they're
pretty narrow, and so that'skind of what I learned about
(09:53):
life the smallest things arereally precious, because I was
in the hospital for a month andI wasn't moving around a lot.
The spring is my favorite timebecause this happened in the
spring and seeing the buds,those moments when you catch the
bud on a tree just before it'sopened, it's like oh my gosh,
(10:16):
this is a moment that won't comeagain and I've caught it just
in time.
So life got really small and Igot really appreciative of small
moments and the preciousness oflife and what is really within
our control.
And I guess that's its ownversion of resilience.
(10:40):
I think I've never thought ofmyself as resilient, but I guess
I probably would be thought ofit by somebody else and I would
say what's interesting when yousay self-worth, I don't think I
got that concept because I wastoo busy, even in the hospital,
being an A student.
I was too busy trying to getbeing a patient right.
(11:03):
I couldn't let go of controlfor, you know, even within a
hospital bed.
So I think it's over time andin retrospect and I'm sure
that's true for a lot of us Ithink it's in retrospect that I
understand more about myself-worth and my sense of how
(11:23):
to handle situations like that,how to handle myself with people
who say they know more, like adoctor, but I still know myself
and I think at 28 and a student,I like I didn't know how to
stafnd up for myself in that way, but because of this experience
, you better believe I know howto do it now.
So I think that that self-worthhas kind of shifted over time
(11:47):
and this story is one, is abenchmark that I go back to to
remind myself.
Sarah Kelly (11:53):
I find it hilarious that you might not think of
yourself as resilient Lauree ,because even just in the couple
of years that I've known you, Iwas seeing your resilience, like
even in our little groupcoaching.
It happened right before COVIDand you pivoted and, like,
you've made us more resilient.
It was, yes, you are resilient,thank you, yes.
So let's talk a little bitabout you.
(12:16):
Have two books.
You wrote your memoir I'mScared and Doing it Anyways and
that really shared a lot aboutyour journey.
What do you hope that peopletake from your story, especially
those that might be facingtheir own fears or challenges?
Lauree (12:33):
The words itself, the title itself I'm Scared and
Doing it Anyway has come up forme in so many different ways and
continues to be something of amantra and a motto and and a
point of connection for myclients.
And I think that when so Ishould say when those words came
(12:57):
up for me, because I reallythink that that's one of the
things that people come awaywith from this book and from the
story is that I'm scared anddoing it anyway actually came
from a speech.
And the other thing about me isthat I'm an introvert and I'm
really shy, and so, after mybrain tumor, things like getting
up in front of people andtalking became a little less
(13:20):
scary.
I mean still really scary,still totally intimidating
sweaty palms, shaking, thinkingI'm going to throw up totally
still happening, but not asawful as experiencing a really
awful thing.
So I decided that I was goingto give a speech and I was going
to give a speech about how mybrain tumor will change your
(13:42):
life, like how my story willhelp you, and one of the moments
when I got up and I didn't knowthat this was going to be the
highlight of my speech, butthere was a point in my speech
where I said I'm on stagetonight because I'm scared and
doing it anyway.
(14:02):
And the audience responded backand they came up to me
individually throughout thenight and said I'm scared and
doing it anyway too.
I'm scared and doing it anywaytoo.
And I wrote my book a couple ofyears after that, but it was
that those words were how Irealized that the power of
sharing your story and owningsomething vulnerably creates
(14:27):
space for other people to feellike they can be vulnerable too.
And there's something about theI'm part, the I'm scared and
doing it anyway.
It's like I'm vulnerable andyou can be vulnerable too.
It's okay, we can do thattogether and you can be
vulnerable too, it's okay, wecan do that together.
(14:50):
And so I think that that's whatmy book, I hope, resonates with
readers that even though theyhopefully don't have a brain
tumor, that they have fears andchallenges, and that fear is
part of our lives.
Discomfort is part of our livesand it doesn't go away.
Our relationship with it shifts.
You know, our self-worth, ourknowledge of ourselves can shift
, and our kindness, ourself-kindness, is so important
(15:11):
how we treat ourselves in thosetough moments.
If we bully ourselves throughthem, that's just a detriment to
ourselves, and so I hope thatthey see in my story also my
self-kindness and my shift fromtrying to be an A student in the
hospital to realizing I have tobe where I am, which is ill,
(15:37):
and getting better, and enjoyingthe small things and doing what
I can with where I am betterand enjoying the small things
and doing what I can with whereI am, and I hope everyone feels
that way too about their lives.
Sarah Kelly (15:48):
Before we go into the next question, I just have
to share I love, love, love thatI'm scared, and doing it
anyways, because Sarah and Italk a lot about mantras and
like having them displayed whereyou'll see them on a regular
basis.
And the one that I have it'sone that I made in elementary
school.
It was like like third gradeSarah doing calligraphy Yay.
(16:10):
And it's like my favorite quote, like my mom just gave it to me
a couple of years ago and I putit up on my mirror.
So I see it every now, everyday now, and it's curiosity will
conquer fear even more thanbravery will, and it's like it's
such a little poetic quote byJames Stevens, but I just love
it because it's the same thing,right, it's like fear and like
(16:32):
we all feel fear, but how do wemove forward with it?
It's like doing it anyways, butfor me, like how do I do it
anyways?
Like I tap into that curiosityand that's like what sometimes
keeps me moving forward.
Lauree (16:45):
Oh, you're totally right .
Third grade Sarah prettyimpressive with that quote and
calligraphy.
Sarah Kelly (16:52):
Thanks past Sarah.
We always say thanks to ourpast selves and I really thank
her for her inspiration on thatday for her inspiration on that
day.
Sarah Anne (16:59):
Well, and that piece of feeling fear, but doing it
anyway.
I think you know the concept isunderstandable, right, and like
we're all scared.
But when we look outwardly,particularly in our culture
right now, where everyone looksso confident, everyone appears
so like I've got it together.
(17:20):
If you look at social media,everyone appears so like I've
(17:45):
got it together.
If you look at social media,like my life is perfect,
everything's great.
Lauree (17:47):
How I love.
One of the things you's notsomething as big as a brain
tumor or a life-changing event.
A story that I like to thinkabout, or a metaphor that I like
to think about, is, if you werewalking a child to their first
day of school, you probablywouldn't stop at the edge of the
school and be like good luck,buddy.
And push them in.
You would pack a snack thatthey really like and talk to
them about that snack on the waythere.
(18:07):
Talk to them about, likelooking for the friendly faces
or how they choose their seat.
You tell them you believe inthem.
You say I'm going to be righthere when you get out of school
later.
Like there's all of thiscaretaking that we would do with
a child or a pet withoutthinking about it, even if we
weren't raised that way.
(18:28):
I just want to say even if wewere thrown in the deep end, we
probably wouldn't do that tosomeone now.
And I think it's that kind ofcaretaking that we need to
acknowledge first in situations,acknowledging first this is a
scary situation, this isuncomfortable, this is new.
I feel nervous, I'm worried.
(18:50):
Just acknowledging that andgiving yourself just even the
moment of space to say, oh, thisis a real feeling, totally
normal, totally natural.
And then what's a kind way towalk myself into it?
You know, so many coaches willsay you know, do one step or,
you know, divide something intosmaller pieces.
(19:10):
And I think, right before thatis that real kindness of like,
okay, we're going to do thistogether, it's me and me, but I
can still talk to myself thatway.
You know, we can still talk toourselves that way and I think
that that's, to me, the doing itanyway part is how you do it
anyway.
And that kindness of walkingsomeone into the classroom and
(19:33):
getting them comfortable.
That sticks with me when Ithink about oh, how can I treat
myself in this moment in thesame way I would on the first
day of school for someone else?
Sarah Anne (19:45):
I love that because it can be as simple as like
packing yourself a snack, yes,totally Knowing that.
Like, at the end of the day,like you could call someone,
like.
There are those, and I lovethinking of it.
The analogy is so beautiful.
Lauree (20:01):
So I wrote a blog post years ago and I just re-shared
it to my mailing list and it wasabout thinking of yourself in
third person.
Like you know this person, whatare the things that they like?
Which is another example of howwe can treat ourselves.
But it reminds me of what youjust said, which is the example
that I gave.
There was I was going on abusiness trip at the time that I
(20:23):
wrote this blog post and Ireally didn't want to go.
I was just so bummed abouthaving to go to this thing and I
thought about okay, what isLori, this person I love and
care about, what's going to makethis trip better for her?
And I thought you know, thefanciest thing, the thing that I
love, is when you go to thereally nice restaurants or go to
the really nice hotels and theyput chocolate on your pillow at
(20:46):
night during the turndownservice.
So I bought myself littlechocolates and I put them on my
bed every night of theconference.
And you know I still had to go.
Sarah Kelly (20:59):
It still was annoying, but that chocolate
made a little bit better youknow I love that story Like such
a simple action, and I canimagine how happy you were every
night to come home to that andjust to like it wasn't home.
It was a hotel, but it probablymade it seem a little more
(21:19):
homey.
You have another book SimplyLeap seven lessons on facing
fear and enjoying the crap outof your life.
Yeah, love it.
Of course, this is where youshare your guidance and, like,
help other women in particularmake that transition.
What are some of the keylessons that you've learned that
(21:39):
you think are essential forothers, particularly that are
looking to connect with thatgrowth and purpose?
Lauree (21:44):
I loved writing this book.
This was one of those.
My books are really short, butwhat was fun about writing this
book is that it took me a month,because I knew exactly who I
was speaking to.
So I wrote this at the 10-yearmark of my business and I went
and I thought about all of mymost successful clients for the
(22:04):
years.
And what was it If I imaginedall of them in a room together?
What do they have in common?
They might not know each other,their paths might be completely
different, but what do theyhave in common?
And that's really what thisbook is about.
It's the seven lessons thatthey all seem to go through in
the process of making their ownleaps and transitions, and so
(22:26):
their stories are in there.
So I love that.
You know, to me it's writtenfor A students or overthinkers
where it's like, okay, here'syour lesson, here's your
homework, here's the fun storythat can go along with it.
So that way you can seeyourself in the stories of my
clients.
They're the ones that areinspiring you.
A couple of the lessons actuallyone that always I'd like to
(22:48):
talk about is finding yourlinchpin, and a linchpin is
something on a car that keepsyour tire attached to your
vehicle.
And the linchpin I write aboutin the book is the person or
people in your life, and it'shappened already.
There are people, if you goback in time in your life, there
(23:11):
are people who have been thereat the right moment, just when
you needed them or just when youneeded and were ready to hear
what they had to say, and yourlife is different because of
that meeting or that moment.
They may not be in your lifeanymore, but they were there
when you needed them.
And so it's likely, if you'reon the cusp of a leap, that
(23:35):
there are going to be linchpinsthat show up as well, and we
don't always know who they areagain until retrospect.
But if you look for them, if youkeep yourself open, if you
think about, well, okay, thoseother times in my life when a
linchpin arrived, what was Idoing when they showed up?
So one of mine from the past wasfrom a yoga class and shy
(24:01):
introvert, doesn't talk toanybody in yoga classes.
But I happened that day tosmile at the person on the mat
next to me and and we chattedand that and that relationship,
she, she opened doors for meafterwards that were just really
important.
So I recognize okay.
So if I'm on the cusp of a leapnow, let me smile to more
(24:25):
people, let me look up insteadof at my phone or to see other
people in a restaurant that I'min or when I'm walking in a park
or when I'm at the post office,actually engage someone and
just with the openness that wedon't know where our linchpins
are.
We're going to know it when wemeet them or when other doors
(24:48):
open because of them and becauseit's happened before, it's
going to happen again.
We already have proof from ourpast.
So that one is one of myfavorite chapters to talk about.
Sarah Anne (25:00):
That's beautiful.
Chapters to talk about, that'sbeautiful and I love, like all
of your examples that show how,in everyday life, we can have
these things right.
Like you can make the eyecontact and smile, you can put
chocolates on your pillow.
Like these pieces of our lives,just to make things a little
bit easier, are what helps usover the hurdle.
(25:22):
So the concept thatoverthinking being a superpower,
when understood, can be astrength.
You have a whole new quiz aboutthis.
Can you elaborate on the ideaand share how others can shift
those overthinking tendencies ina positive way?
Lauree (25:43):
Okay.
So the thing about overthinkingis we wouldn't have kept
overthinking if it wasn't useful.
We keep things in our lives.
We keep doing things in ourlives because they're working
for us in some way.
Sometimes it's, you know, stuffthat isn't that useful for us,
but it has been useful enough.
(26:03):
So we've kept doing it throughthe years.
And there are so many usefulthings about overthinking.
Like like I can research atravel, like a trip, like
nobody's business, like beforemost people have even like,
opened their computer.
I have an itinerary, like andI've read all the reviews and I
(26:23):
know the restaurants you shouldstop and what route you should
take in that in that town, veryproud of myself, very assured of
myself.
So there's a lot of confidencein that.
But it's a lot of theoverthinking-ness that allows me
to research so well and itgives me the confidence because
(26:44):
I know I'm good at it.
So overthinking is kind of thestep after that which is like,
oh my God, did I get it right?
Or the second guessing.
But right before that there areelements of overthinking that
are already working for us.
So overthinking also can besocially conscious and sensitive
(27:06):
to what's happening in the room, with people that we care about
what the needs are in the room,and that allows us to be a good
friend, to be a thoughtfulemployee, to be someone that
folks can count on.
It also can make you a reallygood salesperson, because most
salespeople are too busy talkingbut if you listen and you
(27:27):
listen well, that's actually.
You're more likely to get greatbusiness and to sell whatever
your product is, through thelistening and allowing people to
be themselves and expressthemselves.
So that sensitivity to otherpeople, so that sensitivity to
other people, similar toresearch, is a real strength and
a gift, probably why you're anA student or why you always go
(27:56):
to the dentist twice a year orpay your bills on time, because
you're sensitive to those things.
And the sensitivity cup runnethover at some points into the
second guessing and overthinking.
But right before that hugestrength, you use it all the
time, you're valued for it,people appreciate it about you
and so to me and one of thereasons why I created this quiz
(28:19):
and the follow-up course with it, is to really tease out what's
caused some of our overthinkingand how to kind of back up from
the second guessing a little bitand hold on to and acknowledge
the strengths that we have, sowe don't have to throw
everything out.
We have to be more sensitiveabout what causes the cup to
(28:39):
runneth over and stick with thestrengths that are really
apparent.
Sarah Kelly (28:45):
I took the quiz and I loved it Everyone.
After you take it, let us knowin the comments what you got.
I am sassy and sparkly.
You sure are All right.
So everyone will take the quiz.
We'll also have the link to theblog post that you mentioned in
the description, but how elsecan people stay in touch with
(29:07):
you?
Lauree (29:08):
Oh gosh, I want, I want everyone listening to know that
I believe in them and that whatyou want is possible that life
is more amazing than we imagineit to be.
There's a lot of synchronicityand serendipity in the world.
(29:29):
This is the most importantthing that I haven't said yet,
which is when it feels likesomething is beyond your control
and there's a lot in the worldthat feels beyond our control.
You always have control overwhat you think about something,
what you believe, how you talkabout it, the words, the words
(29:50):
you use really matters, thepeople you surround yourself
with and, ultimately, thechoices you make out of that
situation.
So we don't always have controlover the situations that we're
in, where the world is in, butwe do have control over how we
think and feel about it, thepeople we surround ourselves
with, the way we talk about itand what we do about it.
Sarah Anne (30:14):
Thank you so much.
I mean that's the perfectending, right?
That's so beautiful Thanks.
Sarah Kelly (30:21):
It's such a pleasure to be here.
Thank you so much, Lori We'll.
That was such a great conversation we just had
with Lauree, and it's hard tosay this in the way that sounds
right, but when people haveexperienced really challenging
things, there's often thisbeauty and this light and this
awareness that just kind ofexudes from existence.
Sarah Anne (00:17):
Yeah, I first got to know Laur back in 2019.
And I didn't know anythingabout her history, anything
about her past.
I just knew that she was thiskick-ass business owner here in
Datsun Valley that wasorganizing thousands of women,
creating this online network ofjust women supporting women.
And as I got to know her andlearning her story, her strength
(00:41):
and her presence and her justever-present kindness made a lot
of sense.
So a little bit about .
She started in a verytraditional career, so she lived
in New York City, she lived inDC, she worked with a lot of
consultant clients in PR,working with IBM, liz Claiborne,
(01:03):
voters, travel but then she hada shift and she had a big
health scare which we won't talkabout now because you'll need
to hear her sharing the story.
But that really made her take alook at her life and make the
big change that she has made forher current life and now she's,
like I said, a life coach.
(01:23):
She has two published books hermemoir I'm scared and doing it
anyways, and then a second bookthat's more focused on having a
successful business, calledsimply leap seven lessons of
facing fear and enjoying thecrap out of your life.
So jump on in and enjoy ourconversation.
It was a good one.
Hey, laure, welcome to thepodcast.
(01:46):
We are so excited to have youhere.
Oh, I'm thrilled to be here, too, so I actually I feel like you
know we've gotten to know eachother over the last couple of
years.
So I first got to know you whenI opened up Socrates Yoga and
was desperately looking forcommunity of business owners and
you, of course, are the founderof the Hudson Valley Women in
Business.
And then I've done a couple ofretreats with you also, and it's
(02:09):
just always been theconversations that you have
prompted, the thoughts thatyou've inspired, and just the
joy and kindness and compassionthat you bring in.
Your coaching has always beensuch a joy to experience.
So thank you for being on withus today.
Lauree (02:26):
Oh, that means so much, especially when you've attended
my retreats, knowing that youand Sarah host them.
It's such a compliment when aretreat host attends one of your
retreats, so I appreciate allthis.
We should also say that we'reboth in DC at the same time and
didn't know each other, and ourbackgrounds in public relations
(02:48):
and communications are the sameas well, so we have like history
, even though we didn't knoweach other.
Sarah Kelly (02:55):
I always forget that we are in DC at the same
time.
I love meeting, that Like.
I feel like anywhere I go,there's that DC connection.
Yeah, where I go, there's thatDC connection, yeah, all right.
So, talking about your DCconnection, your journey has had
a lot of twists and turns.
So you started in thattraditional corporate path and
(03:15):
now you've left that behind andyou've really focused on
embracing a life of purpose.
Can you share a little bit moreabout that pivotal moment that
inspired you to take the leapand pursue a more fulfilling
path.
Lauree (03:33):
I didn't mean to take a path.
I really was.
Yeah, I tend to work with Astudents and I was very much an
A student.
And an A student in my mind issomeone who is really
comfortable in third grade, likeall of the rules are written on
the board, probably inconstruction paper, and it's
like and I saw them and I'm like, okay, I can live up to those
things, I can get the gold star,the A, what's required.
(03:56):
And so I started my adult lifeafter college very much the same
way.
I was working in New York city,I had a boyfriend that my mom
liked, I had a 401k like a veryresponsible person would, and
climbing the corporate ladderand getting good reviews
annually, and started to feel,probably in my mid-20s, that
(04:19):
this wasn't necessarily the workI wanted to be doing and it
wasn't necessarily fulfilling.
And when I saw what my boss'sroles were, I wasn't.
It didn't seem like the path Iwanted to be on, but I didn't
know what another path could be,because I'd only ever done the
next thing that was required orexpected of me.
(04:40):
I basically had been kind offrustrated enough and had been
working with a coach and hadtaken actually, I had done
something really exciting thisyear prior this, when I had
taken a sabbatical from work.
No one had ever asked for onebefore.
(05:01):
I worked in a business of 30women and everyone was getting
married and having babies and Iwasn't doing either of those
things.
And I was like, but I have allthese accumulated days.
What if I just took them all atonce and did a sabbatical?
And everyone had agreed and itwas my first time traveling
(05:25):
Europe.
It was incredible and I thinkthat was what spurred me to say
like, okay, if I know that I cando this thing, that that um
carve this six week path of myown, what else was possible?
And so, um, so a year later, Ium looked, looked at my finances
(05:45):
like a very responsible, Astudent and I said, ok, I have
three to six months saved, I cango and figure out, I can quit
my job and I can figure it out,and if I had to, I can go back
and get a job.
And I made an appointment withmy three bosses at the time and
the same day as that appointment, I had a doctor's appointment
(06:09):
in the morning because I had anear infection that wouldn't go
away and they had done someextra tests.
And it's really lucky orperfect that I had the doctor's
appointment before I quit my job, because that was the moment
where I found out I had a braintumor.
And it's the same day.
It's like one of those thingsthat it sounds, you know, it
(06:31):
sounds like something out of abook and yet it's real life.
And it turns out as well thatthe woman who was running my
company at the time, her husband, had died of a brain tumor the
year prior, and so she had setup our health insurance in a
certain way that allowed me topay very little I mean just
unheard of, probably by today'sstandards.
(06:54):
But so so many things kind offell into place with this
gigantic, awful thing in themiddle of it, and I think that
so what I'd say is that I had asense of something and then this
gigantic, um, you know, healthissue and challenge and
monumental event in my lifehappened, and then, on the other
(07:16):
side of it, I was able to saylike okay, um, I mean we're
going to talk about the braintumor, but I'll say is kind of
to answer your question aboutlike what was the impetus to
keep moving is that on the otherside of it, the things that I
thought were scary like quittingmy job, disappointing my
(07:36):
parents or or my bosses wassuddenly not as scary as this
gigantic thing that I neverimagined was possible.
So sometimes we have theglimmer of something, something
else, and sometimes we need areally big push in a way that we
(07:59):
weren't expecting it to come.
Sarah Anne (08:02):
Oh, that's so beautiful.
And the synchronicities of justbeing taken care of in that
time.
It's amazing.
Let's pause there for a second.
Facing a brain tumor diagnosisis no small feat, right?
You ended up undergoing threesurgeries, the challenges that
(08:22):
came with that.
How did this experience shapeyour perspective of life,
resilience and your self-worth?
Lauree (08:32):
Well, I was.
I was only 28 at the time, so,um, and so I think that I hadn't
really thought I hadn't had amoment yet in my life.
I think most of us, dependingon your age, have at least one
of these moments where we thinkwe know the path we're on and
(08:52):
it's suddenly diverted and wedon't always have a choice of
what that diversion is is.
And so I think what I learnedabout life is how precious it is
, that the things I thought Ihad control over because I was
an, a student that plannedreally well and ate all her
(09:12):
vegetables and went to herdoctor's appointments and I'd
never had a bad doctor'sappointment before Like I was
like, oh, I'm doing all theright things, everything's going
to be fine, so you can do allthe right things and still bad
things can happen, and that wasreally traumatic, and that
(09:33):
probably was the hardest thingin all of what happened and what
took me the longest to makepeace with, which is the things
we think we have control over.
We don't, but we do havecontrol over things and they're
pretty narrow, and so that'skind of what I learned about
(09:53):
life the smallest things arereally precious, because I was
in the hospital for a month andI wasn't moving around a lot.
The spring is my favorite timebecause this happened in the
spring and seeing the buds,those moments when you catch the
bud on a tree just before it'sopened, it's like oh my gosh,
(10:16):
this is a moment that won't comeagain and I've caught it just
in time.
So life got really small and Igot really appreciative of small
moments and the preciousness oflife and what is really within
our control.
And I guess that's its ownversion of resilience.
(10:40):
I think I've never thought ofmyself as resilient, but I guess
I probably would be thought ofit by somebody else and I would
say what's interesting when yousay self-worth, I don't think I
got that concept because I wastoo busy, even in the hospital,
being an A student.
I was too busy trying to getbeing a patient right.
(11:03):
I couldn't let go of controlfor, you know, even within a
hospital bed.
So I think it's over time andin retrospect and I'm sure
that's true for a lot of us Ithink it's in retrospect that I
understand more about myself-worth and my sense of how
(11:23):
to handle situations like that,how to handle myself with people
who say they know more, like adoctor, but I still know myself
and I think at 28 and a student,I like I didn't know how to
stafnd up for myself in that way, but because of this experience
, you better believe I know howto do it now.
So I think that that self-worthhas kind of shifted over time
(11:47):
and this story is one, is abenchmark that I go back to to
remind myself.
Sarah Kelly (11:53):
I find it hilarious that you might not think of
yourself as resilient Lauree ,because even just in the couple
of years that I've known you, Iwas seeing your resilience, like
even in our little groupcoaching.
It happened right before COVIDand you pivoted and, like,
you've made us more resilient.
It was, yes, you are resilient,thank you, yes.
So let's talk a little bitabout you.
(12:16):
Have two books.
You wrote your memoir I'mScared and Doing it Anyways and
that really shared a lot aboutyour journey.
What do you hope that peopletake from your story, especially
those that might be facingtheir own fears or challenges?
Lauree (12:33):
The words itself, the title itself I'm Scared and
Doing it Anyway has come up forme in so many different ways and
continues to be something of amantra and a motto and and a
point of connection for myclients.
And I think that when so Ishould say when those words came
(12:57):
up for me, because I reallythink that that's one of the
things that people come awaywith from this book and from the
story is that I'm scared anddoing it anyway actually came
from a speech.
And the other thing about me isthat I'm an introvert and I'm
really shy, and so, after mybrain tumor, things like getting
up in front of people andtalking became a little less
(13:20):
scary.
I mean still really scary,still totally intimidating
sweaty palms, shaking, thinkingI'm going to throw up totally
still happening, but not asawful as experiencing a really
awful thing.
So I decided that I was goingto give a speech and I was going
to give a speech about how mybrain tumor will change your
(13:42):
life, like how my story willhelp you, and one of the moments
when I got up and I didn't knowthat this was going to be the
highlight of my speech, butthere was a point in my speech
where I said I'm on stagetonight because I'm scared and
doing it anyway.
(14:02):
And the audience responded backand they came up to me
individually throughout thenight and said I'm scared and
doing it anyway too.
I'm scared and doing it anywaytoo.
And I wrote my book a couple ofyears after that, but it was
that those words were how Irealized that the power of
sharing your story and owningsomething vulnerably creates
(14:27):
space for other people to feellike they can be vulnerable too.
And there's something about theI'm part, the I'm scared and
doing it anyway.
It's like I'm vulnerable andyou can be vulnerable too.
It's okay, we can do thattogether and you can be
vulnerable too, it's okay, wecan do that together.
(14:50):
And so I think that that's whatmy book, I hope, resonates with
readers that even though theyhopefully don't have a brain
tumor, that they have fears andchallenges, and that fear is
part of our lives.
Discomfort is part of our livesand it doesn't go away.
Our relationship with it shifts.
You know, our self-worth, ourknowledge of ourselves can shift
, and our kindness, ourself-kindness, is so important
(15:11):
how we treat ourselves in thosetough moments.
If we bully ourselves throughthem, that's just a detriment to
ourselves, and so I hope thatthey see in my story also my
self-kindness and my shift fromtrying to be an A student in the
hospital to realizing I have tobe where I am, which is ill,
(15:37):
and getting better, and enjoyingthe small things and doing what
I can with where I am betterand enjoying the small things
and doing what I can with whereI am, and I hope everyone feels
that way too about their lives.
Sarah Kelly (15:48):
Before we go into the next question, I just have
to share I love, love, love thatI'm scared, and doing it
anyways, because Sarah and Italk a lot about mantras and
like having them displayed whereyou'll see them on a regular
basis.
And the one that I have it'sone that I made in elementary
school.
It was like like third gradeSarah doing calligraphy Yay.
(16:10):
And it's like my favorite quote, like my mom just gave it to me
a couple of years ago and I putit up on my mirror.
So I see it every now, everyday now, and it's curiosity will
conquer fear even more thanbravery will, and it's like it's
such a little poetic quote byJames Stevens, but I just love
it because it's the same thing,right, it's like fear and like
(16:32):
we all feel fear, but how do wemove forward with it?
It's like doing it anyways, butfor me, like how do I do it
anyways?
Like I tap into that curiosityand that's like what sometimes
keeps me moving forward.
Lauree (16:45):
Oh, you're totally right .
Third grade Sarah prettyimpressive with that quote and
calligraphy.
Sarah Kelly (16:52):
Thanks past Sarah.
We always say thanks to ourpast selves and I really thank
her for her inspiration on thatday for her inspiration on that
day.
Sarah Anne (16:59):
Well, and that piece of feeling fear, but doing it
anyway.
I think you know the concept isunderstandable, right, and like
we're all scared.
But when we look outwardly,particularly in our culture
right now, where everyone looksso confident, everyone appears
so like I've got it together.
(17:20):
If you look at social media,everyone appears so like I've
(17:45):
got it together.
If you look at social media,like my life is perfect,
everything's great.
Lauree (17:47):
How I love.
One of the things you's notsomething as big as a brain
tumor or a life-changing event.
A story that I like to thinkabout, or a metaphor that I like
to think about, is, if you werewalking a child to their first
day of school, you probablywouldn't stop at the edge of the
school and be like good luck,buddy.
And push them in.
You would pack a snack thatthey really like and talk to
them about that snack on the waythere.
(18:07):
Talk to them about, likelooking for the friendly faces
or how they choose their seat.
You tell them you believe inthem.
You say I'm going to be righthere when you get out of school
later.
Like there's all of thiscaretaking that we would do with
a child or a pet withoutthinking about it, even if we
weren't raised that way.
(18:28):
I just want to say even if wewere thrown in the deep end, we
probably wouldn't do that tosomeone now.
And I think it's that kind ofcaretaking that we need to
acknowledge first in situations,acknowledging first this is a
scary situation, this isuncomfortable, this is new.
I feel nervous, I'm worried.
(18:50):
Just acknowledging that andgiving yourself just even the
moment of space to say, oh, thisis a real feeling, totally
normal, totally natural.
And then what's a kind way towalk myself into it?
You know, so many coaches willsay you know, do one step or,
you know, divide something intosmaller pieces.
(19:10):
And I think, right before thatis that real kindness of like,
okay, we're going to do thistogether, it's me and me, but I
can still talk to myself thatway.
You know, we can still talk toourselves that way and I think
that that's, to me, the doing itanyway part is how you do it
anyway.
And that kindness of walkingsomeone into the classroom and
(19:33):
getting them comfortable.
That sticks with me when Ithink about oh, how can I treat
myself in this moment in thesame way I would on the first
day of school for someone else?
Sarah Anne (19:45):
I love that because it can be as simple as like
packing yourself a snack, yes,totally Knowing that.
Like, at the end of the day,like you could call someone,
like.
There are those, and I lovethinking of it.
The analogy is so beautiful.
Lauree (20:01):
So I wrote a blog post years ago and I just re-shared
it to my mailing list and it wasabout thinking of yourself in
third person.
Like you know this person, whatare the things that they like?
Which is another example of howwe can treat ourselves.
But it reminds me of what youjust said, which is the example
that I gave.
There was I was going on abusiness trip at the time that I
(20:23):
wrote this blog post and Ireally didn't want to go.
I was just so bummed abouthaving to go to this thing and I
thought about okay, what isLori, this person I love and
care about, what's going to makethis trip better for her?
And I thought you know, thefanciest thing, the thing that I
love, is when you go to thereally nice restaurants or go to
the really nice hotels and theyput chocolate on your pillow at
(20:46):
night during the turndownservice.
So I bought myself littlechocolates and I put them on my
bed every night of theconference.
And you know I still had to go.
Sarah Kelly (20:59):
It still was annoying, but that chocolate
made a little bit better youknow I love that story Like such
a simple action, and I canimagine how happy you were every
night to come home to that andjust to like it wasn't home.
It was a hotel, but it probablymade it seem a little more
(21:19):
homey.
You have another book SimplyLeap seven lessons on facing
fear and enjoying the crap outof your life.
Yeah, love it.
Of course, this is where youshare your guidance and, like,
help other women in particularmake that transition.
What are some of the keylessons that you've learned that
(21:39):
you think are essential forothers, particularly that are
looking to connect with thatgrowth and purpose?
Lauree (21:44):
I loved writing this book.
This was one of those.
My books are really short, butwhat was fun about writing this
book is that it took me a month,because I knew exactly who I
was speaking to.
So I wrote this at the 10-yearmark of my business and I went
and I thought about all of mymost successful clients for the
(22:04):
years.
And what was it If I imaginedall of them in a room together?
What do they have in common?
They might not know each other,their paths might be completely
different, but what do theyhave in common?
And that's really what thisbook is about.
It's the seven lessons thatthey all seem to go through in
the process of making their ownleaps and transitions, and so
(22:26):
their stories are in there.
So I love that.
You know, to me it's writtenfor A students or overthinkers
where it's like, okay, here'syour lesson, here's your
homework, here's the fun storythat can go along with it.
So that way you can seeyourself in the stories of my
clients.
They're the ones that areinspiring you.
A couple of the lessons actuallyone that always I'd like to
(22:48):
talk about is finding yourlinchpin, and a linchpin is
something on a car that keepsyour tire attached to your
vehicle.
And the linchpin I write aboutin the book is the person or
people in your life, and it'shappened already.
There are people, if you goback in time in your life, there
(23:11):
are people who have been thereat the right moment, just when
you needed them or just when youneeded and were ready to hear
what they had to say, and yourlife is different because of
that meeting or that moment.
They may not be in your lifeanymore, but they were there
when you needed them.
And so it's likely, if you'reon the cusp of a leap, that
(23:35):
there are going to be linchpinsthat show up as well, and we
don't always know who they areagain until retrospect.
But if you look for them, if youkeep yourself open, if you
think about, well, okay, thoseother times in my life when a
linchpin arrived, what was Idoing when they showed up?
So one of mine from the past wasfrom a yoga class and shy
(24:01):
introvert, doesn't talk toanybody in yoga classes.
But I happened that day tosmile at the person on the mat
next to me and and we chattedand that and that relationship,
she, she opened doors for meafterwards that were just really
important.
So I recognize okay.
So if I'm on the cusp of a leapnow, let me smile to more
(24:25):
people, let me look up insteadof at my phone or to see other
people in a restaurant that I'min or when I'm walking in a park
or when I'm at the post office,actually engage someone and
just with the openness that wedon't know where our linchpins
are.
We're going to know it when wemeet them or when other doors
(24:48):
open because of them and becauseit's happened before, it's
going to happen again.
We already have proof from ourpast.
So that one is one of myfavorite chapters to talk about.
Sarah Anne (25:00):
That's beautiful.
Chapters to talk about, that'sbeautiful and I love, like all
of your examples that show how,in everyday life, we can have
these things right.
Like you can make the eyecontact and smile, you can put
chocolates on your pillow.
Like these pieces of our lives,just to make things a little
bit easier, are what helps usover the hurdle.
(25:22):
So the concept thatoverthinking being a superpower,
when understood, can be astrength.
You have a whole new quiz aboutthis.
Can you elaborate on the ideaand share how others can shift
those overthinking tendencies ina positive way?
Lauree (25:43):
Okay.
So the thing about overthinkingis we wouldn't have kept
overthinking if it wasn't useful.
We keep things in our lives.
We keep doing things in ourlives because they're working
for us in some way.
Sometimes it's, you know, stuffthat isn't that useful for us,
but it has been useful enough.
(26:03):
So we've kept doing it throughthe years.
And there are so many usefulthings about overthinking.
Like like I can research atravel, like a trip, like
nobody's business, like beforemost people have even like,
opened their computer.
I have an itinerary, like andI've read all the reviews and I
(26:23):
know the restaurants you shouldstop and what route you should
take in that in that town, veryproud of myself, very assured of
myself.
So there's a lot of confidencein that.
But it's a lot of theoverthinking-ness that allows me
to research so well and itgives me the confidence because
(26:44):
I know I'm good at it.
So overthinking is kind of thestep after that which is like,
oh my God, did I get it right?
Or the second guessing.
But right before that there areelements of overthinking that
are already working for us.
So overthinking also can besocially conscious and sensitive
(27:06):
to what's happening in the room, with people that we care about
what the needs are in the room,and that allows us to be a good
friend, to be a thoughtfulemployee, to be someone that
folks can count on.
It also can make you a reallygood salesperson, because most
salespeople are too busy talkingbut if you listen and you
(27:27):
listen well, that's actually.
You're more likely to get greatbusiness and to sell whatever
your product is, through thelistening and allowing people to
be themselves and expressthemselves.
So that sensitivity to otherpeople, so that sensitivity to
other people, similar toresearch, is a real strength and
a gift, probably why you're anA student or why you always go
(27:56):
to the dentist twice a year orpay your bills on time, because
you're sensitive to those things.
And the sensitivity cup runnethover at some points into the
second guessing and overthinking.
But right before that hugestrength, you use it all the
time, you're valued for it,people appreciate it about you
and so to me and one of thereasons why I created this quiz
(28:19):
and the follow-up course with it, is to really tease out what's
caused some of our overthinkingand how to kind of back up from
the second guessing a little bitand hold on to and acknowledge
the strengths that we have, sowe don't have to throw
everything out.
We have to be more sensitiveabout what causes the cup to
(28:39):
runneth over and stick with thestrengths that are really
apparent.
Sarah Kelly (28:45):
I took the quiz and I loved it Everyone.
After you take it, let us knowin the comments what you got.
I am sassy and sparkly.
You sure are All right.
So everyone will take the quiz.
We'll also have the link to theblog post that you mentioned in
the description, but how elsecan people stay in touch with
(29:07):
you?
Lauree (29:08):
Oh gosh, I want, I want everyone listening to know that
I believe in them and that whatyou want is possible that life
is more amazing than we imagineit to be.
There's a lot of synchronicityand serendipity in the world.
(29:29):
This is the most importantthing that I haven't said yet,
which is when it feels likesomething is beyond your control
and there's a lot in the worldthat feels beyond our control.
You always have control overwhat you think about something,
what you believe, how you talkabout it, the words, the words
(29:50):
you use really matters, thepeople you surround yourself
with and, ultimately, thechoices you make out of that
situation.
So we don't always have controlover the situations that we're
in, where the world is in, butwe do have control over how we
think and feel about it, thepeople we surround ourselves
with, the way we talk about itand what we do about it.
Sarah Anne (30:14):
Thank you so much.
I mean that's the perfectending, right?
That's so beautiful Thanks.
Sarah Kelly (30:21):
It's such a pleasure to be here.
Thank you so much, Lori We'll.
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