September 29, 2025 • 23 mins
Have you ever thought about the creative sparks that first lit you up as a child? In this episode, we reflect on childhood heroes, beloved stories, and the ways those early delights shaped our creative dreams. We also get real about the limiting beliefs that may have followed us into adulthood — like perfectionism or the feeling that we’re “not good enough.” Our hope is that this conversation invites you to remember what once made you feel alive, so you can let go of old expectations, lean into play, and reconnect with the creativity that still wants to shine through you today.
This October, join the experiment in our Say "Boo" to Creative Block Challenge where you'll get to explore your own blocks, try experimenting through small steps, and discover how creativity can bring you back to yourself!
Thank you so much for listening.
If you know someone who needs this kind of gentle nudge, send it their way. The more kind, creative hearts in this space, the better.
And if something in this episode resonates or makes you smile, come say hi on Instagram @theartpeaceexperiment 🤍
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
Welcome to the Art Peace Experiment.
We're your hosts, two artistsand friends.
I'm Tasha and I'm Brianna.
At the end of 2024, we decidedwe wanted to cultivate more
safety, peace, love, alignment,and excitement through our art
and our art practices.
SPEAKER_02 (00:24):
So here we are, sharing our journey with you,
and we're so excited you'rehere.
We hope you enjoy ourconversations.
They're honest, raw, just twofriends talking to each other
about the realities of life andcreativity.
We're so excited for you to joinus and be along with us for the
journey.
SPEAKER_01 (00:46):
When I was young, I loved going to the library.
Same.
Me too.
SPEAKER_02 (00:54):
That was like my favorite place.
SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I lived in this reallysmall town and it had this teeny
tiny little library.
And I remember the kids sectionwas uh kind of sectioned off by
this like ponywall bookshelf.
I don't know if it's called apony wall when it's a bookshelf.
One of the shorter ones.
Yeah, you can kind of see overit, or at least, you know, the
(01:16):
grown-ups could see over it.
Right.
Um, and they had this lazy Susanthat sat on top of the ponywall
bookshelf.
And it was, it was just likethis clear plastic, like
three-tiered lazy Susan, and itwas filled with these magical
little mini white books that youmight already know what I'm
(01:40):
talking about.
Beatrix Potter's stories.
And I remember, I don't know ifthey were actually like pristine
and new, but I felt like theywere when I was young, like they
just had this like new kind oflike pristine white quality so
that they still look glowing alittle bit.
Yeah, yeah.
(02:01):
And I was absolutely enchantedby these books.
I don't even know how old I was.
I imagine I don't think I wasreading yet.
So I think I was just going andgetting them and like
discovering these little worldsof these little pictures,
animals that were outfits, andit was so just darling, and it
(02:23):
completely captured me.
And I remember going back everysingle time to see like which
new ones were there and whichones to discover.
And like now as an adult, Idon't have a lot of memories of
what the stories were actuallyabout.
SPEAKER_02 (02:37):
Like, I should go back and actually like reread
these.
SPEAKER_01 (02:43):
You know, I want to do a Beatrix Potter like tea
party with our kids.
I think that would be like theseso fun.
Uh yeah, I love that.
But it just I even though Idon't really remember all of the
stories and and everything thatI read, which might also be
because I didn't actually readthem, I just looked at the
(03:03):
pictures.
Okay, that's fair.
I've never actually put thattogether until just now.
Um, but no, I just I wascompletely captivated and
enchanted by these.
And I every single time we wentback to the library, I would run
up to that lazy Susan and justlike, you know, twirl it around
and see if there were any newones and get really excited if
(03:23):
there were.
And if there weren't, then it'dbe like, okay, which ones am I
gonna recheck out?
Yeah, experience again.
I just yeah, I just loved it andit's stuck with me all of these
years.
I mean, that was a long timeago.
SPEAKER_02 (03:39):
Yeah.
Oh, I love that.
No, that's so sweet.
And it's fun to think back aboutwhen you were a kid and think
back on what really captivatedyou.
Yeah.
What made you like really lightup, right?
And it does, it shapes you andit affects kind of the rest of
your life, you know?
Um, what what do you what do yousee as like a connection from
(04:02):
the Beatrix Potter and thatexperience?
Like, what did that light up inyou?
SPEAKER_01 (04:07):
Well, for the longest time, like ever since I
was probably around that age, Isaid, I want to be a children's
book author and illustrator.
Like I wanna I wanna be likeBeatrix Potter.
I want to write the stories andI want to illustrate them, and I
want to create these likemagical worlds that people can
just be delighted in andconsumed in and just you know
(04:29):
have that special like momentfor them in creating that.
Yeah, and it's interestingbecause as I've grown up, I
realized that I I mean I alwaystold myself, yeah, I want to, I
want to illustrate children'sbooks, I want to, that's what I
want to do.
And then I realized like that'sjust not the kind of art that I
necessarily want to be making.
(04:50):
Not that I have completely letgo of that dream.
Yeah, right.
But I realized that the kind ofart that I want to be making,
like I don't want to be drawinglittle kids and like I can do a
I can do a fingers, fairlyrealistic portrait of somebody,
but if I try to like stylize itand make it feel like it should
(05:12):
be in a kid's picture book, Ijust it loses so much joy for
me.
The art it just feels stressful.
I don't like the way it turnsout, it's not fun.
Yeah.
Um, but then the other the sideof this, because I always told
myself I'd be a picture book,you know, illustrator.
But then I also always toldmyself that I would never be a
watercolor artist.
(05:34):
Which was, you know, her medium.
She did, I mean, it was ink andwatercolor, but um you know, I
always told myself, like it'stoo hard, I can't do that.
It's you know, not somethingthat I will ever be good enough
to even explore and try, whichis insane.
But it it's interesting becausenow that that is what I'm doing
(06:00):
and I've been doing for the lastseveral months through our
experiment.
SPEAKER_02 (06:04):
Well, that's so interesting.
I love that as a kid thatexperience and that joy from
those from those books fosteredthat desire in you and that joy
of creating and that desire tocreate and make the children's
books, and that was somethingthat you always kind of had and
held.
And then when you went for it,you were like, Oh, that's
actually not maybe not for me,but it opened the door, right?
(06:27):
Even though that's notnecessarily what you're doing
right now, maybe well in thefuture, you know, who knows?
Who knows?
But I first say never like thewatercolor, but it opened up the
door, it opened up the thecreative spark, right?
And the excitement, which youtrying things led you to figure
out right more of what youliked.
SPEAKER_01 (06:46):
Yeah, and I think part of it too was that I at the
time, like as a child, was fullyokay with coming up with stories
that didn't feel scary to me.
But then I would pull out alittle kid's watercolor set of
really cheap paint with aterrible brush, with a terrible
(07:11):
brush and printer paper.
Yeah, yeah, and then I would belike, nah, can't watercolor.
Like, I can't get the resultsthat I yeah want.
SPEAKER_02 (07:19):
And then I think it doesn't look like yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:23):
And and you know, looking at it and then like,
well, if I draw with a pencil orcolored pencils or, you know,
things that I'm used to, then itturns out more the way that I
want.
Yeah, you can control it alittle bit more, right?
Yeah, with the watercolors, it'slike, well, I'm just terrible at
this and I will never be ableto.
Right.
And that started from you know,that childhood, that belief.
And so I think I let go of thescary thing that I'm like, oh, I
(07:48):
can't ever do that, and thenheld on to the other part of it.
Of like, well, I can I can comeup with stories.
I can tell like I do that allthe time when I play with my
brothers and I, you know,friends.
Like, I'm always telling storiesand coming up with stories, and
like that part isn't scary.
Um, because I do that withouteven thinking sometimes, you
(08:09):
know.
SPEAKER_02 (08:09):
Yeah, no, that's such an interesting realization
with the watercolor and theprinter paper, and you know,
that it it didn't turn outbecause those were terrible,
terrible art supplies, like thatwasn't, you know, you couldn't
make it turn out because of theactual supplies, but
internalizing that as like yourability that I wasn't able to do
(08:30):
it because I'm not good enoughto do it.
Right.
But when in reality it was itwas m more to do with the with
the resources that you had,right?
And the the supplies that theyjust didn't they could not uh
achieve the the look, right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (08:45):
So that's that's interesting to realize too as
you grow up.
So having that block and thenholding on to the part of part
of that desire that you feltmore confident in, right, and
that you had proof that youcould do and do well and and it
was fun, you know?
Yeah, and so leaning into thatpart uh and holding on to that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
That's cool, yeah.
But then it ended up alsoputting me a bit of in a bit of
a box, yeah, because I was like,I was not drawing what excited
me and what felt fun to me.
I was like trying to forcemyself to remain in that
childhood, like I don't know,box that I put myself in of and
(09:29):
part of that was the thelimiting beliefs that I had.
It was like this is what you arecapable of, this is what you can
do instead of exploring otherparts of it that excited me and
finding what I actually likedand enjoyed.
SPEAKER_02 (09:49):
Those are really powerful realizations, and I
feel like it takes a lot to getto that understanding, that
level of understanding of yourpast and your childhood and how
that kind of shaped everything,and then how it's come with you
and how that's taken taken shapeand how that's affected your
actions and like what youbelieve about yourself.
(10:12):
And I feel like that with ourexperiment that it is really
what it's combating, yeah, youknow, is those it's uh it's
making us take a look.
Yeah, being really real andhonest, yeah, be honest and real
with ourselves and and say, oh,this is how I'm actually
feeling.
And I'm I'm looking at it, andthen you explore it a little bit
(10:36):
more, and then let's try to letit go, you know.
Yeah, and I we let that go.
SPEAKER_01 (10:41):
I don't think I would have had those
realizations without this if wehadn't decided to, you know, be
really real and honest and showup week after week after week.
SPEAKER_02 (10:50):
Yeah, because it takes being it takes being real
with yourself, it takes beinghonest and actually taking a
look in the mirror, right?
You know, and like layers, it'sso layered, like an onion, like
an onion, not a cake.
SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
Everybody likes cake.
That's right, or parfait, butyou know.
Yeah.
Well, did you have any childhoodheroes that like creative
heroes?
I don't mean, you know, yourmom.
As much as we love your mom,your mom is great.
SPEAKER_02 (11:21):
Yes, always mom.
Um yeah, I mean, most of themost of the creative people um
that I feel like inspired mewere from books.
We're were art either artistsfrom books or or the writers.
The stories were really whatcaptivated me.
My first, I remember when peopleasked me what I wanted to be,
(11:44):
um, I my first thing that I toldanybody, you know, when I was a
kid was a writer.
I wanted to be a writer.
I wanted to write stories.
SPEAKER_01 (11:51):
Love it.
SPEAKER_02 (11:52):
And um, yeah, so there were, I mean, same with
the children's books.
I love to go to the library andjust pull out, sit on the floor,
pull out the books, look atthem, you know, just spend, I
could spend hours there.
And it was so fun.
And I had my favorites and I hadmy favorite section, you know.
Yeah.
(12:12):
Always wanted to go see like thefairy tales and magical things
and fun, you know.
Yeah that was really fun for me.
Um, but I remember this one,this one book that we had, it
was a Rapunzel um book, but itwas like the illustrations were
more of um kind of likeRenaissance style.
(12:36):
Oh, cool.
Yeah, and it and so it was very,it was very different.
Um, but it just it reallycaptivated me.
It was really interesting to me.
And I would just kind of study,like look at it and study it,
and it was like, wow.
And um, and I think I don'tknow, just things like there are
a few picture books that Iremember that were really like
(12:56):
this is the style that I reallylove to look look at, you know,
and I would be pretty particularabout yeah, about stories.
Yeah.
It had had to have good artworkthat I liked.
Otherwise, it was like, what'sthe point?
Yeah.
Right.
So um, yeah, and then and thenmore as I got older, more of the
chapter books and things likethat and the storytelling, um,
(13:20):
just the fun, the whimsical GailCarson Levine with Elle
Enchanted and that kind of vibe.
That was my that was my breadand butter, Harry Potter, of
course, like you know, all ofthose total fantasy favorite one
of Gail Carson Levine.
SPEAKER_01 (13:37):
I'm pretty sure this is her, like the two two
princesses of Mar.
Yeah, that one, yeah, that's myfavorite too.
Loved that one so much.
I didn't find Ella Enchanteduntil after the movie came out,
I don't think.
And then realized, like, oh,same author, and she has more
books.
SPEAKER_02 (13:56):
Yes, she has a lot of books, all of her books.
So good.
So yeah, that was that wasreally fun.
And and she wrote a a writingbook as well that I got when I
was older, and it was reallyfun, and so just all about the
you know, just having fun withit and pretending and playing
and you know, playing with withyour ideas and letting letting
(14:18):
loose.
So that was really impactful forme, and I think that really
helped.
I mean, I I didn't really nichedown into uh like painting until
I was a teenager.
Um so my childhood was very verylike all of the crafts, all of
the things, and you know, widevariety.
Yeah.
Um and yeah, anyway, so um Ithink that was that was a good
(14:45):
foundation for creativity as awhole, you know.
And and it's just through tryingout different things that I've
come to find more of what Iactually really like for me, you
know, and and what feels whatfeels like me.
Um, I know that's been astruggle, that's been a struggle
(15:06):
for me, is um wanting to justcopy other people or feel like I
have to do it, you know, I I seethis way of doing things, and so
that means that I have to do itthis way, yeah.
And and thinking outside,learning how to think outside of
the box and think morecreatively in my own way.
That's that's a journey.
SPEAKER_01 (15:27):
Yeah, no, for sure.
And and that brings it back to,you know, when I was working on
children's stories and theillustrations for them and
feeling like I couldn't do theillustrations that I wanted to
do because I was trying to belike the other illustrators that
I enjoyed.
And I never allowed myself thefreedom to just do what I liked
(15:52):
and what I enjoyed.
And you can't really come upwith your style and like let it
just naturally evolve if you'renot leaning into that.
SPEAKER_02 (16:01):
Yeah, if you're holding so tightly onto the
outcome and so tightly ontobeing it having it be perfect,
like this example that I haveover here in this book.
You know, I want it to be bookworthy, illustration worthy.
And so if it's not exactly likethat, I feel like, you know,
this plays into theperfectionism and and just
holding so tightly onto ontothat.
SPEAKER_01 (16:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (16:24):
Is it kind of kills the creativity because you get
so discouraged, so discouragedand and down on yourself when
you're comparing yourself toothers or wanting it to, you
know, wanting it to turn outexactly right and don't have
that room for learning, yeah,and for met being messy, right?
SPEAKER_01 (16:48):
Right.
It was interesting too, becausea lot of the artists that had
had these children's books thatI really loved, they had full
art careers doing other things.
And then were like, you knowwhat, I'm just gonna create this
for me because this is fun.
And so it it was influenced by awhole life of creating and
(17:09):
making art and exploring andexperimenting.
And it wasn't just they sat downone day as like a child with no
experience and created thisbeautiful masterpiece, right?
Like it's there was so much morethat went into it, and you know,
comparing like where I was atwith this finished product that
(17:32):
I love was of so many that hasyears and years of experience,
more experience was not servingme.
Like one of the things that Iloved learning about Beatrix
Potter is that she did likescientific paintings.
You know, she did this wholelike encyclopedia of mushrooms,
yeah.
And just and they're beautiful,yeah.
(17:55):
Like her scientific paintingsare amazing, they're so good.
SPEAKER_02 (18:00):
Well, it's interesting because that was
very much the the acceptablething of the time, right?
That was how that was what wastaught was more realistic
nature, you know, um character,how do I say that?
Caricatures.
Yeah, thank you.
You know, the animated likethings like that were were not
(18:21):
really a it wasn't really athing, you know?
She was very um ahead of hertime.
I love her so much, but yes, andso it's cool, yeah.
It really is.
It's so fascinating to see herjourney.
I have a book about BeatrixPotter.
I love her too.
It's great.
SPEAKER_01 (18:37):
I have borrowed that book.
I maybe shouldn't remind youthat I'm right.
SPEAKER_02 (18:41):
You still have it.
SPEAKER_01 (18:42):
I think yes, right.
Well, I'm making my way throughit.
SPEAKER_02 (18:48):
Yeah, and so it's so it's so fascinating to see her
journey of where it was likevery prim and proper and yeah,
acceptable of the time and whata lady should be doing.
SPEAKER_01 (18:59):
Still not for a woman.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:02):
And then she slowly just let go and did what she
wanted to do.
And let it be fun.
And let it be fun for herself.
And she got rejected so manytimes.
Right.
Oh my god.
So many times.
She went to, you know, sheoffered it her books to the
publishers, and it was rejectedlike at least seven times, I
(19:22):
feel.
And so then she self-published.
See, and she's like, all right,well, I love this and I want it,
so I'm just gonna publish it.
I'm gonna find a way.
Yeah, and I feel like those arealways the best and most
successful projects, are theones that the creators love
themselves and have such apassion for and have and believe
(19:42):
in it, and believe in it, and somuch delight in it.
Yeah, and that's what's that'swhat's contagious, yeah.
That's why it it becomessuccessful, is because it's just
so pure, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (19:55):
Right.
Well, I for one am reallygrateful she did that because
it's impacted my entire life.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:02):
Can you imagine if if we didn't have Beatrix
Potter, that would just, itwould be so sad.
So sad.
Only her scientific mushrooms,which are, I mean, you know,
that's great too.
We know we wouldn't have knownabout Peter Rabbit, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (20:14):
Like they would have been lost in history.
We wouldn't have known aboutthem.
SPEAKER_02 (20:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (20:18):
I know.
I'm so I'm so glad.
Thank you for making PeterRabbit.
Appreciate you.
SPEAKER_02 (20:26):
Uh so it's such a good lesson to uh to come back
around to think about our owncreativity and our own uh
creative desires and and yeahand figuring out what what
lights us up.
And I think that uh reflectingon our childhoods and what was
impactful to us and what mbrought us you know excitement
(20:48):
and joy and made us feel alive,you know, and like ourselves.
What were those things?
SPEAKER_01 (20:56):
Yeah, before we were, you know, tied down to to
expectations and society and youknow, before we had to put
ourselves in boxes to fit in,like what were the things that
made us so excited?
SPEAKER_02 (21:10):
Yeah, yeah.
I think reflecting on that, itgives such an insight into
ourselves and and that is whatwill help us moving forward to
connect and align withourselves, right?
And to become more more of ourtrue selves.
SPEAKER_01 (21:25):
Yeah, and ask like, are you still leaning into those
things or have have they faded?
Yeah, have they faded away?
And what would happen if youtapped back into that?
What happened?
SPEAKER_02 (21:38):
So maybe journal about that this week.
Take a little time, yeah, justthink about it, or journal, or
maybe have a conversation with afriend.
Or us.
Come talk to us.
We'd love that.
Comment in the in the commentsbelow and tell us what was
something that you loved as achild that you're either, you
know, still doing or or maybelet go of that you might want to
(22:01):
get back into.
And we'll see you next time.
That's it for today, friend.
Thanks for spending this timewith us.
We hope you're leaving with alittle more light, a little more
peace, and maybe even an edge togo be creative, just because it
brings a little more joy to yourlife.
If anything in this episodespoke to your heart, sparked a
thought, or made you smile, we'dlove it if you'd follow the
(22:24):
show, leave a quick five starreview, or share it with someone
who might need a little creativeencouragement too.
And remember, your creativitymatters.
Your voice matters.
You matter.
We're cheering you on always.
Until next time, keep making,keep softening, and keep showing
up as your whole beautiful self.
Welcome to the Art Peace Experiment.
We're your hosts, two artistsand friends.
I'm Tasha and I'm Brianna.
At the end of 2024, we decidedwe wanted to cultivate more
safety, peace, love, alignment,and excitement through our art
and our art practices.
SPEAKER_02 (00:24):
So here we are, sharing our journey with you,
and we're so excited you'rehere.
We hope you enjoy ourconversations.
They're honest, raw, just twofriends talking to each other
about the realities of life andcreativity.
We're so excited for you to joinus and be along with us for the
journey.
SPEAKER_01 (00:46):
When I was young, I loved going to the library.
Same.
Me too.
SPEAKER_02 (00:54):
That was like my favorite place.
SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I lived in this reallysmall town and it had this teeny
tiny little library.
And I remember the kids sectionwas uh kind of sectioned off by
this like ponywall bookshelf.
I don't know if it's called apony wall when it's a bookshelf.
One of the shorter ones.
Yeah, you can kind of see overit, or at least, you know, the
(01:16):
grown-ups could see over it.
Right.
Um, and they had this lazy Susanthat sat on top of the ponywall
bookshelf.
And it was, it was just likethis clear plastic, like
three-tiered lazy Susan, and itwas filled with these magical
little mini white books that youmight already know what I'm
(01:40):
talking about.
Beatrix Potter's stories.
And I remember, I don't know ifthey were actually like pristine
and new, but I felt like theywere when I was young, like they
just had this like new kind oflike pristine white quality so
that they still look glowing alittle bit.
Yeah, yeah.
(02:01):
And I was absolutely enchantedby these books.
I don't even know how old I was.
I imagine I don't think I wasreading yet.
So I think I was just going andgetting them and like
discovering these little worldsof these little pictures,
animals that were outfits, andit was so just darling, and it
(02:23):
completely captured me.
And I remember going back everysingle time to see like which
new ones were there and whichones to discover.
And like now as an adult, Idon't have a lot of memories of
what the stories were actuallyabout.
SPEAKER_02 (02:37):
Like, I should go back and actually like reread
these.
SPEAKER_01 (02:43):
You know, I want to do a Beatrix Potter like tea
party with our kids.
I think that would be like theseso fun.
Uh yeah, I love that.
But it just I even though Idon't really remember all of the
stories and and everything thatI read, which might also be
because I didn't actually readthem, I just looked at the
(03:03):
pictures.
Okay, that's fair.
I've never actually put thattogether until just now.
Um, but no, I just I wascompletely captivated and
enchanted by these.
And I every single time we wentback to the library, I would run
up to that lazy Susan and justlike, you know, twirl it around
and see if there were any newones and get really excited if
(03:23):
there were.
And if there weren't, then it'dbe like, okay, which ones am I
gonna recheck out?
Yeah, experience again.
I just yeah, I just loved it andit's stuck with me all of these
years.
I mean, that was a long timeago.
SPEAKER_02 (03:39):
Yeah.
Oh, I love that.
No, that's so sweet.
And it's fun to think back aboutwhen you were a kid and think
back on what really captivatedyou.
Yeah.
What made you like really lightup, right?
And it does, it shapes you andit affects kind of the rest of
your life, you know?
Um, what what do you what do yousee as like a connection from
(04:02):
the Beatrix Potter and thatexperience?
Like, what did that light up inyou?
SPEAKER_01 (04:07):
Well, for the longest time, like ever since I
was probably around that age, Isaid, I want to be a children's
book author and illustrator.
Like I wanna I wanna be likeBeatrix Potter.
I want to write the stories andI want to illustrate them, and I
want to create these likemagical worlds that people can
just be delighted in andconsumed in and just you know
(04:29):
have that special like momentfor them in creating that.
Yeah, and it's interestingbecause as I've grown up, I
realized that I I mean I alwaystold myself, yeah, I want to, I
want to illustrate children'sbooks, I want to, that's what I
want to do.
And then I realized like that'sjust not the kind of art that I
necessarily want to be making.
(04:50):
Not that I have completely letgo of that dream.
Yeah, right.
But I realized that the kind ofart that I want to be making,
like I don't want to be drawinglittle kids and like I can do a
I can do a fingers, fairlyrealistic portrait of somebody,
but if I try to like stylize itand make it feel like it should
(05:12):
be in a kid's picture book, Ijust it loses so much joy for
me.
The art it just feels stressful.
I don't like the way it turnsout, it's not fun.
Yeah.
Um, but then the other the sideof this, because I always told
myself I'd be a picture book,you know, illustrator.
But then I also always toldmyself that I would never be a
watercolor artist.
(05:34):
Which was, you know, her medium.
She did, I mean, it was ink andwatercolor, but um you know, I
always told myself, like it'stoo hard, I can't do that.
It's you know, not somethingthat I will ever be good enough
to even explore and try, whichis insane.
But it it's interesting becausenow that that is what I'm doing
(06:00):
and I've been doing for the lastseveral months through our
experiment.
SPEAKER_02 (06:04):
Well, that's so interesting.
I love that as a kid thatexperience and that joy from
those from those books fosteredthat desire in you and that joy
of creating and that desire tocreate and make the children's
books, and that was somethingthat you always kind of had and
held.
And then when you went for it,you were like, Oh, that's
actually not maybe not for me,but it opened the door, right?
(06:27):
Even though that's notnecessarily what you're doing
right now, maybe well in thefuture, you know, who knows?
Who knows?
But I first say never like thewatercolor, but it opened up the
door, it opened up the thecreative spark, right?
And the excitement, which youtrying things led you to figure
out right more of what youliked.
SPEAKER_01 (06:46):
Yeah, and I think part of it too was that I at the
time, like as a child, was fullyokay with coming up with stories
that didn't feel scary to me.
But then I would pull out alittle kid's watercolor set of
really cheap paint with aterrible brush, with a terrible
(07:11):
brush and printer paper.
Yeah, yeah, and then I would belike, nah, can't watercolor.
Like, I can't get the resultsthat I yeah want.
SPEAKER_02 (07:19):
And then I think it doesn't look like yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:23):
And and you know, looking at it and then like,
well, if I draw with a pencil orcolored pencils or, you know,
things that I'm used to, then itturns out more the way that I
want.
Yeah, you can control it alittle bit more, right?
Yeah, with the watercolors, it'slike, well, I'm just terrible at
this and I will never be ableto.
Right.
And that started from you know,that childhood, that belief.
And so I think I let go of thescary thing that I'm like, oh, I
(07:48):
can't ever do that, and thenheld on to the other part of it.
Of like, well, I can I can comeup with stories.
I can tell like I do that allthe time when I play with my
brothers and I, you know,friends.
Like, I'm always telling storiesand coming up with stories, and
like that part isn't scary.
Um, because I do that withouteven thinking sometimes, you
(08:09):
know.
SPEAKER_02 (08:09):
Yeah, no, that's such an interesting realization
with the watercolor and theprinter paper, and you know,
that it it didn't turn outbecause those were terrible,
terrible art supplies, like thatwasn't, you know, you couldn't
make it turn out because of theactual supplies, but
internalizing that as like yourability that I wasn't able to do
(08:30):
it because I'm not good enoughto do it.
Right.
But when in reality it was itwas m more to do with the with
the resources that you had,right?
And the the supplies that theyjust didn't they could not uh
achieve the the look, right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (08:45):
So that's that's interesting to realize too as
you grow up.
So having that block and thenholding on to the part of part
of that desire that you feltmore confident in, right, and
that you had proof that youcould do and do well and and it
was fun, you know?
Yeah, and so leaning into thatpart uh and holding on to that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
That's cool, yeah.
But then it ended up alsoputting me a bit of in a bit of
a box, yeah, because I was like,I was not drawing what excited
me and what felt fun to me.
I was like trying to forcemyself to remain in that
childhood, like I don't know,box that I put myself in of and
(09:29):
part of that was the thelimiting beliefs that I had.
It was like this is what you arecapable of, this is what you can
do instead of exploring otherparts of it that excited me and
finding what I actually likedand enjoyed.
SPEAKER_02 (09:49):
Those are really powerful realizations, and I
feel like it takes a lot to getto that understanding, that
level of understanding of yourpast and your childhood and how
that kind of shaped everything,and then how it's come with you
and how that's taken taken shapeand how that's affected your
actions and like what youbelieve about yourself.
(10:12):
And I feel like that with ourexperiment that it is really
what it's combating, yeah, youknow, is those it's uh it's
making us take a look.
Yeah, being really real andhonest, yeah, be honest and real
with ourselves and and say, oh,this is how I'm actually
feeling.
And I'm I'm looking at it, andthen you explore it a little bit
(10:36):
more, and then let's try to letit go, you know.
Yeah, and I we let that go.
SPEAKER_01 (10:41):
I don't think I would have had those
realizations without this if wehadn't decided to, you know, be
really real and honest and showup week after week after week.
SPEAKER_02 (10:50):
Yeah, because it takes being it takes being real
with yourself, it takes beinghonest and actually taking a
look in the mirror, right?
You know, and like layers, it'sso layered, like an onion, like
an onion, not a cake.
SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
Everybody likes cake.
That's right, or parfait, butyou know.
Yeah.
Well, did you have any childhoodheroes that like creative
heroes?
I don't mean, you know, yourmom.
As much as we love your mom,your mom is great.
SPEAKER_02 (11:21):
Yes, always mom.
Um yeah, I mean, most of themost of the creative people um
that I feel like inspired mewere from books.
We're were art either artistsfrom books or or the writers.
The stories were really whatcaptivated me.
My first, I remember when peopleasked me what I wanted to be,
(11:44):
um, I my first thing that I toldanybody, you know, when I was a
kid was a writer.
I wanted to be a writer.
I wanted to write stories.
SPEAKER_01 (11:51):
Love it.
SPEAKER_02 (11:52):
And um, yeah, so there were, I mean, same with
the children's books.
I love to go to the library andjust pull out, sit on the floor,
pull out the books, look atthem, you know, just spend, I
could spend hours there.
And it was so fun.
And I had my favorites and I hadmy favorite section, you know.
Yeah.
(12:12):
Always wanted to go see like thefairy tales and magical things
and fun, you know.
Yeah that was really fun for me.
Um, but I remember this one,this one book that we had, it
was a Rapunzel um book, but itwas like the illustrations were
more of um kind of likeRenaissance style.
(12:36):
Oh, cool.
Yeah, and it and so it was very,it was very different.
Um, but it just it reallycaptivated me.
It was really interesting to me.
And I would just kind of study,like look at it and study it,
and it was like, wow.
And um, and I think I don'tknow, just things like there are
a few picture books that Iremember that were really like
(12:56):
this is the style that I reallylove to look look at, you know,
and I would be pretty particularabout yeah, about stories.
Yeah.
It had had to have good artworkthat I liked.
Otherwise, it was like, what'sthe point?
Yeah.
Right.
So um, yeah, and then and thenmore as I got older, more of the
chapter books and things likethat and the storytelling, um,
(13:20):
just the fun, the whimsical GailCarson Levine with Elle
Enchanted and that kind of vibe.
That was my that was my breadand butter, Harry Potter, of
course, like you know, all ofthose total fantasy favorite one
of Gail Carson Levine.
SPEAKER_01 (13:37):
I'm pretty sure this is her, like the two two
princesses of Mar.
Yeah, that one, yeah, that's myfavorite too.
Loved that one so much.
I didn't find Ella Enchanteduntil after the movie came out,
I don't think.
And then realized, like, oh,same author, and she has more
books.
SPEAKER_02 (13:56):
Yes, she has a lot of books, all of her books.
So good.
So yeah, that was that wasreally fun.
And and she wrote a a writingbook as well that I got when I
was older, and it was reallyfun, and so just all about the
you know, just having fun withit and pretending and playing
and you know, playing with withyour ideas and letting letting
(14:18):
loose.
So that was really impactful forme, and I think that really
helped.
I mean, I I didn't really nichedown into uh like painting until
I was a teenager.
Um so my childhood was very verylike all of the crafts, all of
the things, and you know, widevariety.
Yeah.
Um and yeah, anyway, so um Ithink that was that was a good
(14:45):
foundation for creativity as awhole, you know.
And and it's just through tryingout different things that I've
come to find more of what Iactually really like for me, you
know, and and what feels whatfeels like me.
Um, I know that's been astruggle, that's been a struggle
(15:06):
for me, is um wanting to justcopy other people or feel like I
have to do it, you know, I I seethis way of doing things, and so
that means that I have to do itthis way, yeah.
And and thinking outside,learning how to think outside of
the box and think morecreatively in my own way.
That's that's a journey.
SPEAKER_01 (15:27):
Yeah, no, for sure.
And and that brings it back to,you know, when I was working on
children's stories and theillustrations for them and
feeling like I couldn't do theillustrations that I wanted to
do because I was trying to belike the other illustrators that
I enjoyed.
And I never allowed myself thefreedom to just do what I liked
(15:52):
and what I enjoyed.
And you can't really come upwith your style and like let it
just naturally evolve if you'renot leaning into that.
SPEAKER_02 (16:01):
Yeah, if you're holding so tightly onto the
outcome and so tightly ontobeing it having it be perfect,
like this example that I haveover here in this book.
You know, I want it to be bookworthy, illustration worthy.
And so if it's not exactly likethat, I feel like, you know,
this plays into theperfectionism and and just
holding so tightly onto ontothat.
SPEAKER_01 (16:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (16:24):
Is it kind of kills the creativity because you get
so discouraged, so discouragedand and down on yourself when
you're comparing yourself toothers or wanting it to, you
know, wanting it to turn outexactly right and don't have
that room for learning, yeah,and for met being messy, right?
SPEAKER_01 (16:48):
Right.
It was interesting too, becausea lot of the artists that had
had these children's books thatI really loved, they had full
art careers doing other things.
And then were like, you knowwhat, I'm just gonna create this
for me because this is fun.
And so it it was influenced by awhole life of creating and
(17:09):
making art and exploring andexperimenting.
And it wasn't just they sat downone day as like a child with no
experience and created thisbeautiful masterpiece, right?
Like it's there was so much morethat went into it, and you know,
comparing like where I was atwith this finished product that
(17:32):
I love was of so many that hasyears and years of experience,
more experience was not servingme.
Like one of the things that Iloved learning about Beatrix
Potter is that she did likescientific paintings.
You know, she did this wholelike encyclopedia of mushrooms,
yeah.
And just and they're beautiful,yeah.
(17:55):
Like her scientific paintingsare amazing, they're so good.
SPEAKER_02 (18:00):
Well, it's interesting because that was
very much the the acceptablething of the time, right?
That was how that was what wastaught was more realistic
nature, you know, um character,how do I say that?
Caricatures.
Yeah, thank you.
You know, the animated likethings like that were were not
(18:21):
really a it wasn't really athing, you know?
She was very um ahead of hertime.
I love her so much, but yes, andso it's cool, yeah.
It really is.
It's so fascinating to see herjourney.
I have a book about BeatrixPotter.
I love her too.
It's great.
SPEAKER_01 (18:37):
I have borrowed that book.
I maybe shouldn't remind youthat I'm right.
SPEAKER_02 (18:41):
You still have it.
SPEAKER_01 (18:42):
I think yes, right.
Well, I'm making my way throughit.
SPEAKER_02 (18:48):
Yeah, and so it's so it's so fascinating to see her
journey of where it was likevery prim and proper and yeah,
acceptable of the time and whata lady should be doing.
SPEAKER_01 (18:59):
Still not for a woman.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:02):
And then she slowly just let go and did what she
wanted to do.
And let it be fun.
And let it be fun for herself.
And she got rejected so manytimes.
Right.
Oh my god.
So many times.
She went to, you know, sheoffered it her books to the
publishers, and it was rejectedlike at least seven times, I
(19:22):
feel.
And so then she self-published.
See, and she's like, all right,well, I love this and I want it,
so I'm just gonna publish it.
I'm gonna find a way.
Yeah, and I feel like those arealways the best and most
successful projects, are theones that the creators love
themselves and have such apassion for and have and believe
(19:42):
in it, and believe in it, and somuch delight in it.
Yeah, and that's what's that'swhat's contagious, yeah.
That's why it it becomessuccessful, is because it's just
so pure, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (19:55):
Right.
Well, I for one am reallygrateful she did that because
it's impacted my entire life.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:02):
Can you imagine if if we didn't have Beatrix
Potter, that would just, itwould be so sad.
So sad.
Only her scientific mushrooms,which are, I mean, you know,
that's great too.
We know we wouldn't have knownabout Peter Rabbit, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (20:14):
Like they would have been lost in history.
We wouldn't have known aboutthem.
SPEAKER_02 (20:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (20:18):
I know.
I'm so I'm so glad.
Thank you for making PeterRabbit.
Appreciate you.
SPEAKER_02 (20:26):
Uh so it's such a good lesson to uh to come back
around to think about our owncreativity and our own uh
creative desires and and yeahand figuring out what what
lights us up.
And I think that uh reflectingon our childhoods and what was
impactful to us and what mbrought us you know excitement
(20:48):
and joy and made us feel alive,you know, and like ourselves.
What were those things?
SPEAKER_01 (20:56):
Yeah, before we were, you know, tied down to to
expectations and society and youknow, before we had to put
ourselves in boxes to fit in,like what were the things that
made us so excited?
SPEAKER_02 (21:10):
Yeah, yeah.
I think reflecting on that, itgives such an insight into
ourselves and and that is whatwill help us moving forward to
connect and align withourselves, right?
And to become more more of ourtrue selves.
SPEAKER_01 (21:25):
Yeah, and ask like, are you still leaning into those
things or have have they faded?
Yeah, have they faded away?
And what would happen if youtapped back into that?
What happened?
SPEAKER_02 (21:38):
So maybe journal about that this week.
Take a little time, yeah, justthink about it, or journal, or
maybe have a conversation with afriend.
Or us.
Come talk to us.
We'd love that.
Comment in the in the commentsbelow and tell us what was
something that you loved as achild that you're either, you
know, still doing or or maybelet go of that you might want to
(22:01):
get back into.
And we'll see you next time.
That's it for today, friend.
Thanks for spending this timewith us.
We hope you're leaving with alittle more light, a little more
peace, and maybe even an edge togo be creative, just because it
brings a little more joy to yourlife.
If anything in this episodespoke to your heart, sparked a
thought, or made you smile, we'dlove it if you'd follow the
(22:24):
show, leave a quick five starreview, or share it with someone
who might need a little creativeencouragement too.
And remember, your creativitymatters.
Your voice matters.
You matter.
We're cheering you on always.
Until next time, keep making,keep softening, and keep showing
up as your whole beautiful self.
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