Managing Holiday Stress with Faith and Love

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After a few hilarious home improvement mishaps, like dropping a hammer on my toe, I've discovered that preparation isn’t just for avoiding DIY disasters but also for embracing the holiday season with joy and calm. Join me, Adela Hittel, as I share my journey through this season of preparation and joy. With my mantra, "be smarter, prep harder," we explore how preparation can reduce stress and enhance the spirit of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Learn how creating a peaceful, beautifully decorated home can bring simple pleasures, and how being adaptable allows us to savor the unexpected moments of the holidays.

From my personal experiences, including a transformative return to faith, I discuss how surrendering to a higher power can bring immense peace amidst life's chaos. Spiritual exploration has opened my eyes to the presence of the divine in everyday life. Without the confines of traditional religious settings, I've found a path to understanding God's guidance and the comfort it provides. This newfound faith has been instrumental in navigating the challenges of the holiday season, helping me foster connections and embrace love and acceptance.

The bittersweet nature of the holidays is undeniable, as we balance moments of joy with memories of those who have passed. In honoring their legacy and cherishing human connections, I reflect on the power of honest and meaningful conversations. Whether managing social anxiety or creating spaces for self-care, prioritizing mental wellness and meaningful relationships is crucial. Join our heartfelt dialogue as we spread love and positivity, focusing on what truly matters during this special time of year. Sending warm wishes, let's come together to be a source of grace in each other's lives.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hello friends, welcome back to another episode
of the Artist Within Season 1,the Road to Resilience.
I am your host, adela Hittel,and this podcast is produced and
sponsored by Project HumanThink, a new way to think about
mental and emotional health, andour mission is to bridge those
gaps and unite it as one.

(00:29):
When we come together like one,all of us, we do bridge every
gap.
We really do.
That's what humanity is herefor.
Anywho, today, let me fix mymic.
I'm not having very good micdays today.
Today is Tuesday beforeThanksgiving.
We're only a couple of daysaway from Thanksgiving this year

(00:50):
, 2024.
And it is a bittersweet yearthis year.
I will tell you that.
So today I want to talk aboutnot only the holidays, the
spirit of the holidays, theimportance of community, family

(01:10):
care, all the nine yards, but Ialso want to talk about a few
statistics about mental health,and I want to see where you fall
into that too.
One of the goals for me throughthis episode and through this
podcast, through theorganization, through everything

(01:30):
that I do, literally throughevery conversation I have, is to
encourage you and to ignite aspark within you to see how you
live your life, not only how doyou live it, how do you process
it, how do you structure it, howdo you function in it?
Do you know your ins and outs?

(01:52):
Do you understand your in andouts?
Can you foresee things foryourself?
Can you find pathways and newways of living and reshaping
your reality?
How can we change things that,for things that we already know

(02:17):
are going to happen?
And so how do, what do we do?
And I have this motto thatduring my process of trying to
understand myself and I'm stillworking on it, by the way, like
that's a never-ending process,but this year I'm 37, 2024 this
year is the first year in mywhole life of remembering, of

(02:40):
being consciously aware ofexisting, where I not only am
consciously here, mentallystable, honestly, but also
emotionally feeling as ifeverything is where it is
supposed to be supposed to be,how it's supposed to be.

(03:07):
Peace is within me, joy is here.
There's stress, obviously,there's a lot of those anxiety
moments.
There's so much grief andsadness, but at the same time,
at the same time, I've learnedhow to let go of those negative
values in my life, negativestressors, negative anxieties,

(03:30):
negative words, hand them overto God and be able to focus on
the peace, the joy, thestructure, the stability, the
things that I know, the things Ican control right.
What gives you the most senseof security in your life?
It's things that you know, thethings that you can control, the
way you can process howeverything works around you and

(03:50):
how it affects you or yourfamily.
So I think this holiday seasonwould be a good time to reflect
upon that, because if we're at apoint where we're stressing so
much about a holiday season thatwe know is coming we know
Christmas comes every year, weknow Thanksgiving comes every
year, we know all of thesethings come every year and we

(04:10):
don't initially prepareourselves for it.
So my motto, my motto are youready for it?
My motto is be smarter, prepharder.
Be smarter, prep harder, besmarter, prep harder.
What I mean by that is if youknow something, you have a piece
of information.

(04:30):
You don't have to have a wholepicture, but you have a key
piece of information.
You see a pattern in that keypiece of information.
You see it continuouslyhappening over and over and over
again.
Day after day, week after week,year after year.
It's happening.
Okay, you know a key piece ofinformation.
You at least know a date.
You at least know a time, youat least know a type of event,

(04:55):
situation, occurrence, whatever.
You know a key piece ofinformation, structure your life
around that key piece ofinformation and then, if you get
more information, you changethe process of the way you're
structuring to add the value ofthat key piece of information to
your life.
And then you still continue tocreate the way you will be

(05:19):
impacted and the way you need toprocess your life.
For example, I know that again,thanksgiving is coming.
I know that Christmas is comingevery year and every year I say
I want to be more in theChristmas joy.
I don't want to stress, I wantto have a decorate, I don't want
to enjoy it, I want to feel theChristmas spirit.

(05:41):
I want to be in.
It's the most wonderful time ofthe year.
Like I want to be in that.
And every year I take on somany other tasks, so many other
things that are so much moreimportant in my life than what I

(06:02):
want truly, and I just want apeaceful home and I want a home
I could walk into and feel so ah, christmas is here.
I want the Lifetime movie.
Okay, I am that girl.
I am the Lifetime movie girl.
Not that I sit and watchLifetime movies.
I haven't watched a movie in along time.
Grinch is like the movie, andScrooged, but like the old

(06:22):
version, um, the old, olderversion I forgot.
Uh, now it's not coming up inmy no name.
No, nothing is coming to whatthat is, but Scrooged, um,
anyway, that's like my twofavorite movies and I'll I'll
sit in or not sit, but I'llthrow them on while I'm working,
while I'm doing something, andI will listen and during that

(06:43):
time I know them word by wordbecause I sing, I talk, I do the
whole thing with them.
Right now I have no idea, it'sescaped my memory.
You know, not even here, Ican't even tell you.
But the Grinch, the Jim Carreyversion, that's like the best
Grinch, it's the only Grinchanyway, off the Grinch train.
So I know that the holidays arecoming, I know this is
happening.
What do I want I want?

(07:04):
I want joy.
I started hosting Thanksgivingin my place a couple of years
ago and I love it.
I really do enjoy it.
I love the whole process ofpreparing the whole meals, um,
everything.
And then now this year, youknow, my sister's helping with
doing the baking of the pies,because I am no good at pies,

(07:25):
like do you have a dish?
And or like during the season,do you have something you're
just not good at?
Like I'm not good at bakingdesserts.
Don't give me a cookie to make,to bake.
Don't give me a pie to make.
Don't give me like desserts arenot my thing.
Like desserts are not my thing.
I have no, no like concept ofhow to do it.

(07:50):
But give me, you know, astovetop.
Give me a meal I get to prepare.
Make some bread, roll out somepita, do a few things, make some
sarmat, like I got you.
I may forget an ingredient ortwo because I like to do many
things at once, but I can do itand I enjoy it.

(08:11):
And my turkey is off the chain,man, okay, I, I learned how to
make a turkey to perfection myfirst year, my first year.
But that's because you knowwhat I did.
I was smarter, I preparedreally hard that year and I've
been following that routinesince.
So, but this year I decided thatright before actually before

(08:33):
Halloween I was going to startthe process of decorating for
Christmas.
Halloween is one day and I dolove it.
It's one day for me and it'sjust not, as it used to be one
of my favorite holidays.
It used to be something I wouldgo all out for.
I would dress up, I would doand I'd take the time and it was
great.
But as I'm getting older nowand finding the peace and

(08:56):
serenity and what I want, I'lldo it.
But I can be crazy, scary anyday, really peaceful, joyful and
bright and colorful and andjust the most wonderful time of
the year.
You get that at a certain timeof the year, very certain time.

(09:18):
So I prepared my downstairsalready.
I put up my trees, I cleanedthe garage.
I have decorated my deck theway I want to have a porch and a
deck.
Well, I didn't do the deck top,but I did the porch, the
balcony.
I didn't finish it, but I didthe porch bottom and decorated
the way I want to put my lightsout.
It's a winter wonderland, it'sa twinkle winter wonderland.

(09:38):
It's awesome.
There's still more details toadd, obviously, just with
anything, but the structure ofit is all done now.
I've been wanting to do that forfive years.
Honestly, that has been on my,on my board.
I have a board by my kitchenwhere it says garage project,
you know, backyard project,porch project, and these are all

(10:00):
things that I want to do.
And it's so true they say writeit down, things that I want to
do.
And it's so true they say writeit down, it'll happen, write it
down, it'll happen.
Now.
It may take four years, okay,it may take four years, but
it'll happen.
And it happened.
And I have a clean garage Now Ihave a backyard that I'm very
much enjoying.
I built, I put together.
I have a home where I'vedecorated I still decorating,

(10:24):
I'm still moving, but I'vedecorated and made it feel this,
like I said, this lifetimedream, tv, movie world that I've
always what I would watch as akid, wanted and dreamed and
envisioned.
And now I have it.
And, and it's so cool, the workthat you have to put in, um,

(10:45):
that doesn't mean that I did notscrew my finger with an actual
drill because I was working outthere like I did that, hi,
thumbs up, uh.
And then I dropped the hammeron my toe off my ladder because
I was moving so fast and I putthe hammer up on the top and I
moved it and boom, boom, boomand oh man, that metal and the
top, and oh, it hurts.

(11:06):
Okay, I didn't break a bone,though still, thank you, god
still keep me, still to this day, no broken bones in my body,
but it did hurt.
It did hurt quite a bit and, um, so, quite a few things during
that.
Oh, I think I told you guys,but I also got a speeding ticket
during that week too.
Uh, so there's just quite a fewthings that happen.
A lot of those things happen,and work and life and everything

(11:32):
else in between all of it, andI still got it done.
And now for the next, I justthought about it this morning as
I was preparing, because rightnow I'm doing all the prep work
for pulled out all theappliances and the dishes, the
menu is done for Thanksgiving,the turkey is thawing out so I
can get it ready to brine,starting tonight.
And there's just so many steps,you know, obviously they go

(11:54):
into what you're doing.
And as I was going through thisand doing that, now I'm sitting
here looking at my decoratedChristmas tree, looking at my
living room, looking at mydining room, looking at this
home that I've put so much ofmyself into, so much of my
energy into cleansing and intocreating.
And this is the first time inmy life, in my holiday season,

(12:17):
where I'm not blanking out.
I am not so anxiety-ridden, Iam absolutely at utter peace
with everything that's happeningin life.
And again, that doesn't meanI'm not sad here and there.
That doesn't mean I don't havemy moments, because I do, I
absolutely do.
But those moments I've learnedare so much, far shorter and few

(12:40):
in between now, when they usedto run my life right.
They used to run my life, andnow all I want to do is just
enjoy it.
I want to enjoy, I want to hug.
That doesn't mean that I likeeverybody and everything.
That doesn't mean that I agreewith everything and everybody.
That doesn't mean that Icondone everything and everybody

(13:02):
.
I condone everything andeverybody.
What it means is I accept thehuman for its existence and
while in my presence, I'm goingto do my best to give them the
love, the care, the comfort, thecompassion, the acceptance, all
that they seek in one moment,in one hug, in one experience.

(13:24):
Because that's what matters,right, like that's truly, truly
what matters.
And I'm getting back into notgetting back into, I'm get.
I'm back into my faith.
But I have begun reading theBible and I am I'm trying to

(13:46):
understand a few things, butthere are phrases and passages
in there where I read and Icompletely understand them for
myself.
I completely understand thesurrender of all worry, the
surrender of all that does notbelong to me, like love and care

(14:10):
, just love, true love, has tobe seen by the self first before
it can be shown and be put intothat acceptance of right there.
That doesn't mean, like I said,that I, I, I don't have things
to work through.
I still have my ego to workthrough me and my ego.

(14:31):
The ego is still full, ineffect, for adela, because the
ego has protected me my wholelife.
The ego has saved me.
The ego has been my armor, hasbeen my battle, has been my
warrior, has been everythingI've ever needed to survive, but
the ego doesn't need to.
I don't need the ego to fightfor me anymore.
I don't need my thoughts, rightI?

(14:56):
There was something that I was,um, I sent to a friend the other
day that said you are free tothink, that is your will, but I
am the word.
And that came to me and as Iwas talking to my friend about
you know, I'm really gettinginto talking about passages and
just life and the depths of itand what it means to exist here.

(15:19):
What does the presence of Godmean.
What does the word mean?
What does it mean to live in inthis service?
And how does one find their wayand navigate it?
And I'm not.
I will not.
I am not the church type.
I will not be the church type.
I have tried it and maybe I'llchange my mind later down the
line and whatnot.
I but I have this theory andthis thought, which sometimes

(15:44):
that's my free will of thethought, but this theory too,
that we are in the present, atleast we, I am.
This is just my personalopinion.
I'm in the presence of God everyday, every second of my life.
He walks with me in everysingle second.
Even right now, in this second,he's right here with me,
guiding me through what I'mgoing to say, pushing, putting

(16:05):
the word in me that needs to besaid, the message that needs to
be put out there.
I pre-plan these episodes tosome extent.
To some extent, but for themost part I'm here to speak
truth.
I'm here to give you what Iknow and I'm here to understand
my existence and question andquestion this life too, because

(16:27):
there's things that I don'tunderstand.
But while I'm questioning, godis standing right next to me and
I'm asking him that question,he's going to answer to me I'm
the creator of all.
You don't need to know theplans.
You have to have faith and youhave to have trust in me.
And is that hard?
Yes, sometimes, because thereare things I don't understand.
Have to have faith and you haveto have trust in me.
And is that hard?
Yes, sometimes, because thereare things I don't understand.
But the thing that again now, atthis point, I do know and I

(16:48):
understand is that connection tohuman beings, like one-on-one,
and having these conversations.
That is the most beautifulthing that we can have, that is
our communion, that is my churchwith people, that is my
community, when I can have realhonest conversations about life
to humans and uh, and where Ican speak about things again

(17:12):
that I don't understand, I can'tprocess and vice versa.
And and the whole thought offree will and my ability to
think that I am in control ofeverything and that I know
everything and that I am capableof everything and that my
personal, like Adela, existence,my ego existence, is the know

(17:33):
it all, be it all, that mine isjust the most important thing
because, well, I am, well, I amAdela and I'm here Like that is
such a whole bullshit part of myexistence.
That has been and has obviouslyagain led me and survived me,
but at the end of the day, asthe more I accept that I do not

(17:57):
know what my future holds, Ihave plans for my future.
I'm working really hard onthose plans and I want those
plans to come true.
I want them to manifest.
Which future?
I'm working really hard onthose plans and I want those
plans to come true.
I want them to manifest, whichis why I'm writing them down and
doing all the steps and workingevery day, but I'm not, I'm not
stressed at all about them,whether or not they happen and
how they happen.
Or it is done.

(18:18):
It is done because it has beensaid so to be done, and what I
think and how I think I'll getthere and what I choose and to
do and the act.
It only either gets me therefaster or slows me down, or
makes my life harder, or or itmakes it easier.
Depends if I'm smart enough, ifI prepare hard enough and if I

(18:40):
do what I need to do, it justmight be easier, and that's what
it seems like it is now.
It used to seem so difficult toget up and get through the day.
It used to feel so impossibleto navigate a moment.
It used to feel absolutely just, deathly like, deathly

(19:04):
unbearable to move forward.
It couldn't even like there'sno room for breath.
There was no room for my breathto sustain me because of the
amount of baggage I held on, theamount of self I held on and
when that is within me and theburden there of all of that is

(19:25):
there and the why was this?
How could possibly?
Why me?
I don't understand what was thepoint?
These thoughts are not mythoughts, right?
These negative life is notnegative.
That's the one thing I'velearned through this process of

(19:45):
Project Human, and now even morethrough this process of of
losing a human and losing friend, and to something so
preventable.
To something so preventablebecause life becomes so negative

(20:06):
for a being.
It because we all, collectively,and then particularly on an
individual level I don't take me, however you want to take me,
on this, but we are solelyresponsible for the results of
our lives.
Yes, other people give us.
Yes, other people are there andthey will influence the
environment, your upbringing.
I promise you I understand morethan anyone about everything

(20:32):
that will impact you that youwill have an excuse to why you
cannot, why you are not, why youwill not all the nots all the
negative like all of that, whyyou will not all the knots, all
the negative like all of that.
You will have a reason and avalid reason for your existence
in that, because you wentthrough it, however, comma, and

(20:52):
a huge exclamation point andquestion mark and all the other
grammar stuff that you can addinto that.
Okay, plus plus, plus, plus,you're also the one being the
one being with the ability toact, with the freedom to choose

(21:13):
how you think, how you act, howyou feel, how you behave, how
you move, how you process, howyou experience.
And, speaking as somebody whowas, like I said, I was on
literally in darkness and hell,it seems like yesterday.
It really does seem likeyesterday, but I know I've been

(21:34):
on this track of health and joyand prosperity and growth and
structure for about five yearsnow, like really committed, but
this has been a 10-year journeyas far as I'm going to try to
take it on and do it.
This has been a lifetime ofexisting and trying to navigate
and figure out, and this year isthe first year that I am

(21:58):
actually so joyful and peaceful,and I know that feeling now on
a longer scale than I've everthought I possibly could.
And how is that possible, like,how is it possible, when I just
lost a human being, a humanthat matters so much to me and a

(22:23):
human who impacted me in a waythat I, adela, never thought
possible?
But again, that's the egothinking what is and what is not
possible.
And when I met Tad, I literallythanked God for sending me a
human like me.
I said I would find themexactly like me, and I did.

(22:46):
I did.
I found it in Tad.
And to have that be ripped awayand to be taken out of my life
in such a fast and short andinsane way, and I'm affected so
deeply about it this way, andI'm going to keep talking about

(23:07):
this because I am affected by it, so deeply about it.
So I think it's so importantthat those who are left behind
have the freedom to share theimpact those humans have had,
without any judgment or withoutfeeling like I you know that I'm
I'm a too much, I'm a burdenlike these moments come.
There should be safe spaceswhere we have moments of grief

(23:30):
and talk and and sadness and andreflection.
We should have spaces to havethese conversations.
We should be able to dialsomeone and say, here's this,
here's this.
I'm in that space.
This is happening and for themost part part I'm fortunate to
have one or two.
But at the same time, I alsoknow the level of weight I can
handle and the level of weight Icarry, the level and the depth

(23:51):
of it.
Not necessarily everybodyaround me is capable of holding
or is even positioned to.
So I do understand where someof us are coming from and saying
I don't have anybody, because Iunderstand the weight of my
world and my life and what I'mdoing in my choices and they are
just not going to be able tohandle even the vent session of

(24:11):
that.
Okay, cool, kudos, call me,I'll be here, I'm that person.
I can.
I can't handle it.
But for those of you who arewithin your circles and are
going through something and aregrieving something and have this
, you should really have aconversation about how to
navigate these hard times, thesemoments.
We don't have theseconversations often enough.

(24:32):
We have extreme conversationsabout how, when we do the good
things, like when we win thelotto, when we reach our goals,
when I accomplish this, when Iaccomplish this.
When I do this, you have allthat.
But what about, hey, when I amdown, can you be my rock for a
minute and can I send you amessage of hey, vent, 911, or if

(24:53):
I call it really means I needto talk to you.
Can I, can I ask you to be thatperson for me?
Are you in a position to bethat person for me?
Are you even capable, in yourown time and space and mental
health, to be there for me inthat way when I need that?
I'm not going to need it allthe time, you know, and I may

(25:14):
not even need it for months oryears in advance, but when I do,
can I count on you to be thatperson?
And I really, truly believe this, like honestly, if we had these
types of conversations moreoften with each other and with
those we care about, that wewould be able to prevent so many

(25:37):
tragedies that are happening atour own hands.
Everybody just needs a ear tolisten to.
Now I understand that arehappening at our own hands.
Everybody just needs the ear tolisten to.
Now, I understand that.
If you don't want to be either,and that's okay.
Here's the thing.
Here's the beauty aboutconversation is that if you ask
that question, you ask somebodyyou believe to be a trusted
partner and they don't have thecapacity and they are not

(25:57):
capable and they don't want tobe there, then guess what?
That is okay.
They have also the right to sayyou know what?
I'm not in this capacity atthis moment.
I don't even know if I cancommit to saying yes to that.

(26:17):
But what I will say is that ifyou do call, I will pick up the
phone call because I'll know.
So at least you give one way ofcommunicating.
Right, and that's what Istarted out with when people
would ask me to hold themaccountable or to be their space
.
When I was doing this and Ididn't understand the level that
I had and where I was at, Iwould say if you call me, I will

(26:38):
know it's important enoughbecause you dial the number, you
made the effort like, youreally put in the effort and you
want to have, like you need tohear, a voice.
You need that human connection.
If you message me, if you, youknow, email me, text me,
facebook me, instagram me thatI'm not gonna look at that.

(26:58):
I'm gonna be very honest.
I'm not going to look at that.
I'm going to be very honest.
I'm very limited to my spaceand my time, so, but I will
answer your phone call and now Ihave been able to upgrade
myself and my capacity to answermessages, to be there for those
in need in the messages andtranslate what I want to
translate and have that humanconnection and understand that

(27:21):
their need is for that.
Because I'm not a small talker.
I'm not.
I'm not here for small talk.
I don't have the patience forit.
I don't understand it.
I am in depth.
I want to understand this world.
I want to understand how I work, why I work the way I work, why
I think the way I think.
Why are we even here?
Why are humans so important inthe connection and the

(27:42):
conversations?
What is this energy that weconnect with and that we make so
deeply, so fastly?
Like I get all the sciencestuff I get, we have people
studying science.
I'm talking about a level oftranscendent and conscious and
spiritual and energy connectionthat we can't measure, but it

(28:04):
happens and the influence wehave on each other through that,
just through that.
What is so?
How can we influence humans?
And then, if we're in positionto influence them in such a
negative way because that iswhat's negative about this world
is the fact that we create thenegativity.

(28:25):
We are the creators of thisworld.
God said we're going to put youand create you in the creation
of our image.
Here's the seed and the seed,and you have a seed and you have
dust and you have soil.
Whatever you put together inthat and water and and cultivate
and give time to and nurture,will grow.
So if you are going to plantthe seed of negativity and

(28:47):
cultivate it and nurture it andwater it and put it like, of
course that's what's going togrow and of course that's what's
going to overwhelm, and then Ilook at and study documentaries
of war and of, you know,situations in life where I'm
like how and why were we inthese positions?
And then you look at thestrategies and you look at how

(29:07):
they map things out and you'relike this is some bullshit, like
everything in the way it'shappening, the way it's done, is
just because this is here, thisis here, this is here is here,
this is here, this is here.
And that's the way it's doneand it's mapped out.
But the connections we share,this process we have of existing

(29:29):
as humans, as this being, asthis species.
I am so attuned to that, again,if we can create these huge,
massive movements of negativity,why can't we create this
massive movement of inspiringhuman beings and loving them
unconditionally?
That does not mean that wecondone or that we agree or that

(29:51):
we like everything abouteverything, but that also does
not mean we can't love when inthe presence of the being, and
give compassion and acceptanceof just its existence, right
like if we accepted the humanbeing at its existence, at its
core, that that human existsoutside of any label, outside of

(30:15):
its name at the moment, butjust it's being.
How it changes the perspective,how it changes the experience,
how it changes the way theenergy transfers and the way you
move through stuff.
That's why you can connect withpeople.
Sometimes you don't even knowtheir name, but you can connect
with them and you're like man.
They left an imprint on me, man.

(30:37):
I wish I knew more of it.
Man, I wish I could experienceso much more of it and then
you'll get another opportunity,but you don't make the next step
in that same experience.
You get these experiences, youget these moments.
You know these patterns arehappening.
You know these things arehappening and yet you're not

(30:58):
studying yourself enough tounderstand when something's
happening in your season, inyour time, when you're, when
your seed is sprouting, whenit's hard, like when it's
blooming, when it's wilting away, you yourself, the seed from
the ground that you have beenbirthed out of, sure, the body
of the being, and all that, butlike, the true essence of our

(31:22):
existence is from that seat oflight, that soul, and here we
are not nurturing it the way itneeds to be and connecting to it
.
We're so focused abouteverything else and I go back
into be smarter, prep harder.
You know the holiday seasonsare coming.
You know what's happening, solet's put it together.
Let's do this.
You know the holiday seasonsare coming, you know what's

(31:42):
happening, so let's put ittogether.
Let's do this Because if wedon't and we're not here for
each other during this time, andif we allow our differences and
allow our dislikes,disagreements and all the disses
to come between the beings ofexistence, just the fact that I

(32:03):
exist and you exist, I love you,period.
Now, what's your name?
Wow, beautiful, awesome.
What do you like?
Oh, great, oh, I'm not sointerested in that.
Great, oh, okay.
Well, no, that's okay.
You may approve, I maydisapprove, I may like.
But you know what?
Oh, cool, cool, you know I loveyou.

(32:25):
I wish you the best of luckwith all of that.
If you need any guidance, anyhelp, I'm a phone call away.
But do your best.
Do we all agree with the wayyou live?
Do I?
I don't?
I don't care because I'm notyou agree with the way you live?
Do I don't?
I don't care because I'm notyou?
I'm not there 24 7, but I careabout your existence and you as
a being.

(32:45):
So care about yourself as theexistence, as the being.
Learn yourself, learn your ownexistence, then learn what your
name means to you.
And so for me, adela, adela, asthis.
Adela the host, adela, theexistence, adela, the host,
adela, the existence, adela.
The label, what everybody knowsme as that part is very hard for

(33:08):
me to reconcile in the worldwhen I don't to me personally
and again may or may not soundcrazy, like some people around
my life might think me, but Idon't.
The name means nothing to megenuinely.
The label of me like Adela, theproducer, the director, the
creator, the none of that, thatis just check, check, check,

(33:31):
check, check.
Accomplishment task list likedone, done, done, done, boom,
boom, boom, boom.
My flow of existence here todayis so different and yet the
same.
I know I sound like some peopleright now, but I don't care

(33:55):
about any of the accolades, Idon't care about my name, I
don't care about the label, Idon't care Again.
I care about your humanexistence.
I care about my human existence.
I care that my child has aplace where humans matter Humans
of all ages, shapes, sizes,matter, of all creations, of all

(34:15):
matter, where we triumph pasteverything that makes us
different and unite as one beingthe human being.
And when I think of humans andwho are going through and
struggling again during theholidays and during different

(34:37):
times, you know one crazystatistic and one crazy fact
that I didn't really know untilrecently and I learned the
holidays aren't as um depressingfor the, the human collective,
as we we seem to think and andand apply imply in the way that

(34:59):
media and everybody puts it into.
It's the spring and summertime.
And I thought about it.
You know they're right, becausespring and summertime people
are separated.
They're going back to theirlives after the holidays,
they've got things to do andthey're going to isolate.
And it's still winter, it'sstill there.
And the change of seasons andand it's still winter, it's

(35:22):
still there and the change ofseasons and there's just so much
happening during that time.
And summer I'm still working onthat one.
I gotta do a little moreresearch.
There's a reason that might be areally big reason.
I kind of think.
I know, but I'm not gonna sayit until I'm sure with it.
But but also summer, butholidays you do get together.
May not like each other, butyou do get together.

(35:43):
You get that boost of energyyou get to put through you, you
get to come together.
Not all of us are like that, Iget it, um, but the holidays you
do have the opportunity to dothat.
So that was a neat fact that Ilearned and I was really I was a
little bit surprised, beingespecially that I do what I do

(36:03):
and I didn't know that becauseI've always focused on wow, we
got to get through the holidaysand the holidays and the
holidays and the holidays.
Well, the holidays doesn't.
I mean it is big and in humansdo do a lot of and are in a lot
of positions of despair duringthat time too, but it's not as
it's not as prevalent or asimpactful as it is the following
subsequent seasons, because itseems like the spike in mental

(36:27):
health and our depression, ouranxiety, our stressors all spike
through that.
Suicide rates spike so much inthe spring and summertime.
And that was a shock to mebecause, again, holidays.
Holidays, that's been andthat's been my personal
experience this month.
And holidays, um, but personalexperience again also triumphs.

(36:51):
All the statistics and all thestuff.
So, what I'm telling you, basedin your personal experience,
take it with a grain of salt,because you know your life and
you know that.
So, um, my personal experiencehas been, it's been that.
And salt because you know yourlife and you know that.
So my personal experience hasbeen that.
And now that I know these twofacts and that I want to have
that, I understand this.
I want to have a little bit ofa different conversation and I
want to ask you, like I said atthe beginning, to reflect upon

(37:12):
yourself a little bit thisholiday season.
So let me share this screen withyou because, for those of you
who are listening with you,because for those of you who are
listening, it is the AmericanPsychology Association 2023
Holiday Stress Survey Data TopLine.
You can find this online and Iwill try to have this linked, if
I remember.

(37:32):
If I'm being honest Again,don't sue me please, but it's on
here while you're looking at it.
I will try to have this linkedon the bottom of our thing.
But here it is the 2023 holidaystress survey data top line and
this survey um in 2023, they uhthey surveyed over 2000 adults
between 18, uh, from 18 and over, and they were um sampling to

(37:59):
see the effects of the holidayson health and the human being.
So in here you'll find you guyscan go through it.
I won't read all of it, but Iwanted to highlight a few of
them and ask you a few things.
One question would be how wouldyou describe your level of

(38:19):
stress during the holiday season?
And it's pretty moderately highfor most people, for, as a,
basically, this will tell youthe base of everything, and then
they have the um questions.
You know, um think, uh,thinking about your stress
during the holiday season.
Does it generally increase,decrease or stay the same
compared to the other times ofyear?
And for the most part, um, youknow, 52 says it stays the same,

(38:44):
but 41 say it increases.
So 41 of beings that's almosthalf a population that says it
increases during the holidaytimes and that's insane.
The, the level of, and I get itbecause of everything that you
you have your financial stress.
You get it because ofeverything that you have, your
financial stress.
You have your gifts, you havework, you have travel, you have

(39:06):
weather, you have, you know now,politics that we've just gone
through.
There's just so many, so many.
And then your own individualexistence, right, there's so
many things happening and goingon.
Of course, of course, yourstress is going to increase.
Um, I, personally, this year,this year, only this year, but
2024, I am in the seven percentof decrease, which is so great

(39:30):
because I I'm here, like how Ican't even I'm here, I Like how
I can't even I'm here, I'm inthe decrease.
So I promise you, I was in theincrease, I was in the super get
stressed, super crazy.
And the more work I did onmyself and the more accountable
I became for my daily actions,like what am I doing every day?

(39:52):
Am I being consistent?
Am I being diligent?
Am I taking responsibility toget up and do these actions?
And I used to confusemediocrity with mundane, and I
would rather be mundane thanmediocre in any given day, and
so I love my mundane days now.

(40:13):
I love the simplicity.
I love the organization, I lovewhat happens.
I love knowing.
I love knowing my day every day.
I don't know my weeks, I don'tknow my months and I don't know
my years, but I know certainparts of the years and I know
certain parts of the months, butI sure as heck know my day.
Now I know my day and that isone of the biggest reasons why

(40:36):
my stress has decreased thisyear, because I knew how to
prepare every day for my momentin month, moment in year, moment
in time.
Um, so it says so.
This is like a typical cause ofyour stress during the whole
holiday season.
So they asked um what had whatincreases right?

(40:58):
Um your stress?
Not having enough money,spending too much, finding the
right gifts, missing family andloved ones, um, or those who
passed away or no longer with us, having too much to do, feeling
pressure?
Um food, you know food andalcohol.
It asks about that too.
Are you does eating?
Um do you have eating and foodrelated issues?
Being around alcohol, not beingable to spend time again with

(41:21):
your family and friend ones,experiencing and anticipating
conflict.
This one I wanted to highlightbecause this one right here was
my biggest stressor forever withany family situation, because
there's not been ever asituation in my life where
family gatherings have not hadsome kind of a conflict or have

(41:43):
not had some kind of anunderlining stress or
underlining situation.
That's happening and no onewants to face it, or somebody
wants to say things or this orthat, and just this like
trepidation of anxiety, of beingin the same room with humans
that you don't want to be in theroom with.
Oh my gosh, like, oh, anxiety.
Well, again, good news may takesome time, but good news,

(42:07):
there's good news, there'salways good news.
Again, when you switch into themode of absolute love,
acceptance in the moment of theexistence, in the human, not for
everything else, not again.
It doesn't mean you like,condone, you do, but you accept,
you love for the existence andjust hold the space, true,
honest space, and you let go ofyour own ego and predispositions

(42:30):
and pre-everything.
That doesn't mean again you donot have your boundaries and
have your flags and have yoursets, but the way you approach
all of that will become sodifferent.
It will become so much morecommanding, confident and
consistent, versus it beingerratic and emotional and and

(42:55):
causing a conflict yourself whenyou want to avoid one
potentially right.
So I have again.
Now that I'm in that space thisyear, I'm my full anticipation
is a full joy.
I want to hug everybody thatwalks through the door with as
much hug and love as I possiblycan.
I want to give them and welcomethem into my home.
I want to share this joy that Ifeel with them just through the

(43:18):
experience of having them there, not for anything else outside
of, outside that door, like noneof that when they leave and all
that.
I'll let Adela Ego deal with itlater.
But during that time, duringthat moment, that's that's the
full intention and that hasabsolutely been like a huge
relief in that, uh, feeling leftout and excluded.
This was also a big one for memy whole life, traveling, uh,

(43:41):
hosting gatherings.
I used to stress about that alittle bit, but now I just have
the best time and enjoy itbecause, well, I get to control
it and I get to have the, I getto create it and if I'm prepared
and if I'm smart and I prephard, be smarter, prep harder,
be smarter, prep harder, you win.
You win, uh, scheduling,getting time off, work, you know
coordinating.
I, if you, if you're smarterand you prepare in advance

(44:04):
enough and you give everybodynotice.
You don't have to stress ifthey don't show up, they don't
show up.
You did your job.
If they didn't coordinate, ifthey didn't plan their job and
their stress, that's's on them,not your responsibility.
You did your part.
Upholding traditions, having toomany social gatherings, that
one right there, that's the oneI had to put boundaries up and I
can't be everywhere all at onceand do everything all at once.

(44:25):
I just can't.
And if you want all of it like,that's fine, you love it, I
love it.
All great, all great, but Ican't.
It just has to be.
You have to be able to say noto yourself, like, say no, say
no to yourself.
Uh, feeling like the holidayseason doesn't reflect your
culture, religion or tradition.
Now that one is, as animmigrant and coming here, that
part was hard to navigate andthat part was hard to integrate.

(44:46):
But again, at some point youget to create your own, you get
to cultivate your own, and ifthat means you mix it, if that
means you, you study it, you,you get really in it.
Or you get to cultivate yourown, and if that means you mix
it, if that means you, you studyit, you, you get really in it
or you get out of it completelylike it's up to you and that's
okay.
You're not required to live upto everybody else's standards.
There's only one requirementand that's jesus and god and
that's it.
Other than that, everythingelse is whatever.

(45:08):
Like up to you, do it free,will hello do your thing.
So it's you.
Um.
Which of the following words orphrases would you use to
describe the holiday season?
So a lot of you or not a lot ofyou, but positive.
There was like an 80 positiveum response, which means that

(45:30):
it's fun, it's joyous, it'sexciting, fulfilling, relaxing
and um other ways people woulddescribe it.
I think it's fun, it's joyous,it's exciting, fulfilling,
relaxing and other ways peoplewould describe it.
I think for me right now, it'sextremely joyous and fun.
It really is.
This season is just so joyousand fun for me, and it's again
nothing about the presence Idon't even have any idea about
the presence on it but theprocess of creating, cultivating
and this feeling in my home,this presence of joy and fun and

(45:54):
love and exuberance, that hasbeen the greatest thing for me
right now.
And then again we're going intothe negative side of the world
of stressful, overwhelming,exhausting, annoying, upsetting
yes, it's annoying.
Listen, just because it's funand it's joyful does not mean

(46:15):
that at the same time, in thesame flip of a coin, it's not
annoying and it's not exhausting, and it's not overwhelming, and
it can't and it can't, it isupsetting, like when you drop a
hammer on your toe.
It is extremely painful andupsetting and overwhelming and

(46:40):
that's not fun in any shape orform.
When you drill your fingerbecause you missed the screw
when you decided to just intothe like, that's.
None of those things are funand positive and joyous, but
those are moments just like andagain, I'm not equating massive
tragedies to those moments, butthey are at the same time, on

(47:01):
the flip coin, moments that havehappened, just as moments of
joy.
Now which one would you like toprolong?
I want to prolong my fun, myjoy, my life, my hope, hope, my
just love of this life andexistence.
I won't prolong that.
I don't want to prolong thenegativity at all.
I don't want to have anythingnegative like no, that does not

(47:24):
exist in my world, in my life,not at all.
Um and so how?
How would you agree or disagreewith each of the following about
the holiday season?
So the holiday season creates asense of togetherness, you know
, or it can be bittersweet, andthe stress surrounding the
holidays is totally worth it.

(47:44):
I'm going to tell you right nowit's just bittersweet.
Holidays are bittersweetspecifically because if you
think about your life and youthink about how far you've come,
and then you think about who isand who's not with you, who
comes and who's not going to behere, gatherings, of course
they're going to be bittersweet.
Of course there's going to beagain the same.

(48:05):
It is so true, it can be true.
It is true.
It's a fact that the feeling ofjoy and the feeling of pain,
the feeling of it's like it'sthe same In the same moment of
existence.
You can experience both thingsat once.
So if you are experiencing andyou are in that stage, just like
exist, feel it, understand itas much as you can Again, reach

(48:28):
out, ask someone to be that foryou, ask them to be your space,
and if you know yourself wellenough, where you are in your
friend group or in your group ofhumans and you're the strong
one, you know your emotionalcapabilities and abilities
ensure that you because that itwould be your job as that being
in that group set the example,and say, hey, I can hold space

(48:52):
for you when you need it, let mebe that for you.
And if you can't say that too,hey, I understand you need space
right now, but I'm not in aposition either.
Um, if it's, if it's somethingyou really, really can't get
through, I will be there.
But if it's something you canwork through, the same way we
walk through before or we'vedone, please try to work it out

(49:14):
yourself right now.
Like, have these conversationsand have them when you're in
your sane mind of mind, okay,like, not when you're in the
existence of going throughsomething, when you're sitting
there and having that small talkand bullshit.
Talk about what did you do onFriday night?
Who did you do on a Fridaynight?
Where did you do it on a Fridaynight?
Maybe you should have theconversation.
Hey, you know, things are reallygood in our lives right now.

(49:39):
We're really doing good, we'rein a good space and place.
Can we set some, um, safetynets for when we're not doing
good?
Like you know, I went through abreakup and this happened, or I
lost somebody and this happenedand I wasn't know how to
navigate and I didn't haveanybody to call.
Oh, okay, would you mind?
Would you mind?
How can we do this, okay?
Well, what is your threshold?
How far can like?
How much of it can you handle?
Well, right now, this is thecapacity I'm at right now and

(50:00):
this is how much I can handle,and if it's more than that, then
I may or may not be able to bein that position, but I will do
my best.
Oh, okay, literally, thoseconversations have created for
me such ability to hold myground, create my boundaries in
my relationships, in myfriendships, that they also

(50:24):
understand that they call mewhen and I pick up.
When they call.
I pick up.
If it's a phone call, I pick upbecause I understand that the
phone call requires so much moreenergy than a text message.
It requires so much more of youand your conscious awareness
and you're using every bit of itto have that conversation with
me.
Because we're in the age oftexting.
Anybody can text everything andanything, and I can't read it

(50:44):
between lines, and the more Itry to decipher, the more I try
to assume, the more I try to putit together, the more of an
asshole I am and I just don'twant to.
So just talk to me.
So if you call me.
We'll have a conversation ifyou text me.
I will do my best, but thatdoesn't mean I'm going to be
able to do the right thing.
So have these conversations,have these conversations, and

(51:04):
again, I did.
I once I decided, after my lastrelationship which I'll talk
about, that coming up soon abouthow friendships and
relationships can be really hardto navigate, and after my set
the whole house on a you know,on fire relationship of
friendships, after I had tonavigate and learn that I

(51:27):
realized the faults that I had,which were that I did not have
the conversations that wereneeded.
I had all the other ones, which, again, were absolutely
unnecessary because they don'tcare what you did on your
weekend, how you did it, whomyou did it with, where you like,
I don't care.
Are you good as a human being?
Do you need to processsomething?
Can I help you with yourexistence?
Can I be here to make your lifebetter and put value into it?

(51:50):
And if I can't, okay, cool,call me when I can.
That's it like.
It's really that simple, and Ididn't know that that was the
kind of being I am, not a smalltalk I'm.
I can fix the problem, save it.
So know yourself, be in that,have that conversation.
So again, as the holidays, aspeople are asking you as any
given time, a moment on yourevent actually, it's not just
the holidays every day, everylife, you're able to and capable

(52:12):
of giving your boundaries, yourclear understanding, your
perspective of how you want yourlife to run, why these things
matter to you.
And then the other people.
If they're not willing to statetheirs and you can't find a
common ground and bridge yourgap that you're both missing,
then you're not right for eachother, and that's okay.

(52:33):
Your gap, that you're bothmissing, then you're not right
for each other, and that's okay.
Save yourself the heartache,save it, save the heartache.
How comfortable are you withothers during the holidays?
Right?
Are you really comfortable?
Do you like having other peoplearound?
Do you like being in socialgroups and gatherings?
I don't like being outside insocial groups and gatherings.
I have such social anxiety andthat's something I'm working on

(52:54):
really hard as much as Adela'slike, oh my God, I'm so great
Like the social anxiety I haveis insane when I'm in groups of
people, when I'm there, it isinsane.
It's gotten way better, way,way, way, way, way better, but
it's still intense and I'muncomfortable and I don't like
it.
So how can I compromise?
Well, well, I will create myspace.
I will create social gatheringsfor myself right now, and I'll

(53:16):
also force myself to go out.
I will force myself to be outin uncomfortable situations but
to also receive myself and givemyself what I need in my soul
and food.
I'll create them and I'llcreate them at the comfort level
of myself, with those around methat I enjoy, that I love, that
I want to be a part of with.
That's it.
It's really that simple.

(53:38):
How do you cope with stress?
How do you cope with stress?
How do you cope with anythingin your life, right?
Do you talk to people?
The manage my expectations partis I've had to really work on
expectations and requirements.
I manage my requirements.
What's required of me?
I have no expectations ofanybody.
I don't expect anybody.

(53:59):
I just don't expect anyone andI don't expect I try to say
anything anyone I don't expectbecause I literally don't want
to expect or think or put anyfaith into the human that it
will magically, it willtelepathically, it will
energetically, it will be ableto do anything that is required

(54:21):
of it to do for me.
So, instead of expectations, Ihave requirements and instead of
requirements for anyone else, Ijust have them on me.
So I manage my requirements.
Is my load of requirements forwhat I want too heavy, not
enough?
How can I miss it?
If these things need to happen?
These things are required tohappen for me to get what I want

(54:43):
.
How do I manage them?
How do I prioritize them?
How do I put them into a placeand make sure that I get what I
want?
Try to remind myself that theholiday will pass.
I don't like this one.
I don't like this one at allbecause, again, it's a negative
statement and it makes it feeland seem and I get it.
I'm not saying that I don't getit.
I was there, I've been there.

(55:04):
But now that I'm on this otherend, I will continuously talk
about when, now that I'm on thelight side and I'm on the other
end of it, I am out of thedarkness, I'm out of my prison
cell, I'm out of the hell.
I don't like that, because thatmeans that I'm reminding myself
that every moment of my lifethat might potentially be good,
an opportunity for me to creategood, an opportunity for me to

(55:27):
be better, opportunity for me tochange the way, that moment is
that I'm in right now.
I am asking for it to pass,without any conscious effort of
me doing anything about it.
I am literally just asking tosleep through it, which is fine
if I'm in the space and placewhere I'm required to and I need
to, and my body and my mind andmy spirit is so out of whack

(55:47):
and these are the things thatare required.
Okay, cool, I get it, but whenyou're in your process of
healing and you are making andnavigating, that is, I don't
want to pass an opportunity.
It doesn't matter if it's aholiday, it doesn't matter if
it's a moment.
I don't want to pass anopportunity to be better, to
create better, to change tobetter.
I don't want to do that.

(56:09):
How do I prioritize?
Do you prioritize yourwell-being?
Do you put it in?
I do.
How do I prioritize?
Do you prioritize yourwell-being?
Do you put it in?
I do.
I am a fan of monthly spa days,and it doesn't mean you go in
and you're there all day andspend hundreds of thousands of
dollars okay, but it means thatyou either get a massage once a
month, or you go do a facialonce a month, or you go do a

(56:30):
float session once a month, oryou every three, four months,
like I do every four months,three and a half to four months.
I'll book all three and givemyself a six hour day of you
know, really a health, clean,cleansing, and I have a sauna
routine, I have a, a floatroutine and I go and I meditate
and I then I come out and Imeditate again and then I go
through a massage of cleansingthe body, like it's a really

(56:53):
spiritual reawakening that I doin those times and and and
that's coming up actually thisum in the next two weeks and I'm
excited because it's the newyear and I get to realign my
focus and reconnect in in withmy mind, body and soul in a way
that it's away from distractionsand it's just the focus on me.
But if I didn't think aboutagain how do I like things, how

(57:14):
does my body feel, what is, howdoes my mind feel when I think
these thoughts, how like what ishappening within me, that that
is producing things I like ordon't like either one, what is
happening with me, within me,then you can't change the way
they.
You go into the things thatagain you can set up for
yourself.

(57:34):
You can become an automationand reoccurrence in your own
life, because you know thingsare happening.
Just make them great and funand better.
You can be your own computerand mastermind in your own way
if you will, with emotion,empathy and compassion for
yourself.
Like you can do all of that,you can be really efficient and
functional.
It just takes a bit more efforton your own end.

(57:55):
It's like getting a Windowsright now from 1997 and trying
to learn it while we haveeverything that is at the touch
and fingerprint right, likethat's how it literally is.
You have to learn the program.
You have to learn how you arefunctioning, how you have been
formed, how you've beenengineered, how you have been
manufactured and you've beenengineered, how you have been

(58:16):
manufactured, and you have toread your manuals and you have
to read the books withinyourself and you have to
decipher it.
You have to understand yourlanguage, because if you don't,
then how are you going tounderstand even your own being
and your stress levels or youranxiety levels or how you can
change them?
How are you going to understandthat?
Again, we ask everyone to do itfor us, because it's the easy

(58:37):
thing to do.
We ask our friends, we ask ourfamily members, we ask our
therapists, we ask our you knowdoctors or brothers or sisters.
We ask everyone to do it for us.
We even ask God to do it for us, but that's the limitation of
his power and our free will isthat we have to do it for
ourselves.
That's the limitation ofeverybody else's.
It's their thought and theirideas and you're still your

(59:00):
action.
You're still required to actupon it.
So get to doing it.
I said so, get to doing it.
And some of the where it saysyou volunteer, you can go
volunteer.
Hey, come volunteer for us.
We always need volunteers.
We definitely are going to needthem next year for sure.
Seek help.
I'm always going to say that.

(59:21):
Seek help, of course,professional help if you need it
, immediate help 988 is animmediate one.
It's like you know, it's 988,just immediate.
You will get immediateassistance.
You can reach out to your localpeople.
You can reach out to us.
We're right there too and we doour best that we can to at
least navigate and talk to youthrough.

(59:41):
And we're not medicalprofessionals again, just fyi
but we just we're peer-to-peer.
We want to advocate with you.
Or some of you guys don't doanything on the holiday seasons,
right, um.
And then there's, of course, youknow religion.
Do you have religion?
Are you following that?
Are you in it?
You know part of that.
Are you with your faith?
Are you not?
Or are you like me, discoveringyour fate and trying to
understand where you belong,what you, what it means and if,

(01:00:05):
if you want to be a part ofsomething or, or, again, a label
of some things, or you are justa child of god and you are here
to do the good.
You know the bidding of thatand serve and be of existence,
and that's it, and I really feelcomfortable in that state.
And so where do you fit in inyour life, in your existence?
Where do you feel the mostcomfortable and where do you

(01:00:25):
have the most understanding,perspective, control about your
existence?
And for me, it's in conversation, it's in learning new things,

(01:00:49):
it's in creating.
I don't know what I create, Idon't know when I created, but
it's in that um.
And so I will create within myhome.
First, because I'm a huge, hugebeliever.
And if you didn't listen to myreflection podcast, go listen to
the power of reflection.
That episode is really coolbecause I get to reflect back
and I get to look back on it andI get to see the progress and

(01:01:11):
the growth and from again thatgirl to this woman here to this
being here.
It's a whole difference andthat's seven years of a
difference in a girl working andtrying to navigate and live as
a woman in this world and andand this structure, when a woman
didn't even know what her home,what her structure, what her

(01:01:34):
womanhood and statehood evenmeant, and so that part of
transition and learning andgrowing into and to be here now
and to they call.
They say that I'm a cactus,that's the flower or plant I
represent a cactus.
Okay, but and it's true to themost part because it's gone

(01:01:55):
through hell, it can.
It can survive in the, in the,in the most insane places.
It can survive the drought.
It is a almost indestructibleexistence.
Okay, so I get that.
And the spikes, it's.
Yeah, I get that, I have thespikes, I'm with it.
My tongue can be sharp, sharp,my, my, my whip can be, can hurt

(01:02:16):
, like, I get it.
But then, really, at the bottomof it all, when all the seasons
have gone through and all theprickles, those like those who
are nurtured, those who come incontact with that cactus and
those who are there.
Um, and that cactus can producea flower.
Well, guess what?
I am the flower.

(01:02:38):
I'm the vulnerable flower, I'mjust the floating flower now,
flower, I'm so delicate,delicate flower and I love that
delicate space in my life.
I love that I did notunderstand the power in delicacy

(01:03:01):
.
I didn't understand the powerin elegance of your existence.
There's such an elegance to ourexistence that when we fall in
love with our existence and ourbeing and we become one with
what is, you can't help but lookat yourself as the most
beautiful, delicate littleflower on that cactus that

(01:03:23):
you're willing to put water intoand food and make sure that it
flows.
And I'm describing one becauseI have it downstairs.
And when somebody said now Inourish it as much as possible
Because, my goodness, how true.
How delicate is that littleflower on the top.
How delicate is our essence andour conscious and our existence
.
How delicate are we as beingsand yet, how freaking strong are

(01:03:50):
we as our existence and ourroot and our core and our
structure, how resilient we are,how powerful and great we are.
Well, at the same exact flip ofa coin, we are so extremely
delicate.
It's just, it's.
It's so mind-blowing to me somind-blowing.
So this holiday season, again,take a look at this survey and I

(01:04:14):
again I'm sharing this with youbecause I found it interesting.
As a reflective portion of it,I found a moment to be able to
look at it.
Okay, you know if I'm spendingtoo much money, if I'm here, if
I'm this, and yes, I looked atthe numbers and the numbers mean
a great lot in there.
But am I one of the statistics?
And if I'm one of thestatistics in here, how do I
change it?
One of the statistics, and ifI'm one of the statistics in

(01:04:35):
here, how do I change it?
I don't want to be a statisticson the negative side.
I want to change all of thisand bring it down.
If we can do an impact ofnegativity and wars and absolute
tragedy across the universe,because that's what human beings
are capable, why can't we uniteand collectively, collectively
do the opposite?

(01:04:56):
Why?
Why is this so difficult?
To put away completely ourdifferences and look at each
other as human beings and sayyou matter you, because your
existence matters.
How you live it in your life,in your presence and in your 24
hours doesn't matter, but whenwe're together and we interact,
that part matters.

(01:05:17):
That part is important.
That part should be respected,it should be treasured, it
should be loved, it should benurtured.
How do we do that?
We do that by havingconversations.
We do that by highlighting thegood.
We do that by sharing the joyand really sharing the moments
of the good and creating theplatforms, creating the

(01:05:40):
structures around our owncommunities, our own families,
our own friend groups, dynamicswherever you are, this solid
foundation of space where youcan have a conversation just
about actual life, where oneactually listens and takes it in
, does not identify with it tothe level of where my ego needs

(01:06:04):
to come out and compete withyour tragedy, compete with your
pain, one up you in yourexistence of that or your how
bad it may be, but just to holdpain and maybe relate, but hold
the space and allow for thatbeing to be there.

(01:06:24):
That's my spiel on that.
So take a look at it.
I think it's a cool one.
Like I said, I'll do my best toput it up and remember to do
that in there.
Um, so yeah, this holiday seasonit it is extremely bittersweet

(01:06:45):
because I am.
I am so joyful, I am so joyful,I am so fulfilled in my
existence and where I am.
I also know that I've createdthat bubble of joy and
fulfillment and I know that whenI step out of it, the pain, the

(01:07:06):
pain and the tragedy thatbefalls this world, I get it, I
feel it.
But if you don't create thebubble for yourself to be able
to live through this, so thatwhen you go out you put more
bubbles of love and compassion,so that you can fight the
tragedies, you can fight thepain, we as an army of goodness

(01:07:31):
have to come together as a unit,as a one, and say I, yes, I
feel, but I can win, I'm worththe win, we are worth the win.
That's that, that's one.
Okay, now on to one more thing Iwant to add into because, again

(01:07:54):
, bittersweet of everything inmy life that's happening.
First, I want to share with youmy past weekend, really quick,
because I went to my friendTad's celebration of life and I
have to say that this has beenthe most unique and personalized
and loving way to send a humanoff and to remember and honor

(01:08:19):
them.
It I definitely want us to dothat more when we're alive and
give our flowers and do all ofthe ways that we've done it like
I want that in life than indeath.
Obviously, I want that in lifeso much more than in death, but
what a beautiful way to remembera human being, what a beautiful

(01:08:41):
way for me to see the love thathe had and the love that he
shared with everyone, theinfluence of his life.
He was, he was, his whole being, was there in that room with us
and I felt to every core of mybeing the hole that he has left

(01:09:03):
in all of our lives.
But then, at the same time, atthe same time, the blessings,
blessings that he has literallybestowed upon me personally.
I don't know about everyone else, but I know me personally to be
able to share with humans alevel of understanding that I

(01:09:31):
would never have possiblythought I could, or
relationships to build in a waythat I never thought I could or
was capable or wanted to, and tofind the same wavelength of
humans in existence.
Now, whether I'm right or wronglater we'll time will tell but

(01:09:52):
I just know the fulfillment ofit is there and I'm so grateful
to it.
I'm so or wrong later, timewill tell but I just know the
fulfillment of it is there andI'm so grateful to it.
I'm so grateful to have beenable to meet his family, to meet
the friends, to meet the humansthat he inspired and just the
joy that he brought to thosearound him.
The joy that he brought tothose around him.
I hope that I'm as much joy, oras a little bit of joy, or as

(01:10:15):
whatever joy it can be to humansI really do, because it is the
one thing we're missing the mostin this world, and I hope that
I can spark in you just a littlebit of a moment today, or any
moment in your life, whereyou're like you know what?
Yeah, I am, I, I'm worth thefight right here and a smile on

(01:10:35):
my face and that moment offeeling of acceptance, even if
it's a small moment, becausethat small moment is what turns
into an eternity.
That small moment is what yougrasp on to to create an
eternity for yourself.
You still have to create it,right, you still have to work at
it, but the fact that somebodycan induce it within you, that
somebody can make you feelsomething that you didn't ever

(01:10:57):
think you could, or the idea ofit, is so foreign to you and it
may still be foreign.
The moment, you feel it too andyou're just like what is
happening, I don't understand it.
That's by creating theseboundaries and these structures
where you can have and navigatethat, like that's your waking up
call of I'm here, I exist, seeme, hear me, feel me, love me

(01:11:20):
because I love you, because mybeing loves you, and that, right
there, like to me, that's notAdela, saying I love myself,
like that's literally the holyspirit within me, like saying I
am residing within you, in yourtemple of this body, of this,
what has been given to you?
This gift, this structure, justas this home has been given to

(01:11:44):
me and the structure has beengiven to me and my holy spirit
and my spirit of my family andthe, the essence of us resides
within it, is the way I feelabout how God and and and Christ
reside within me and how I amnow able to clean, cleanse this
home and create this home andhouse it for for this level of

(01:12:05):
abundance that just feeds mylike, feeds my soul, to to no
ends.
Um and again, I come from theother side.
I come from the complete, notnot complete non-believer, but
the lost, confused, scared,cruel, let's be real.

(01:12:28):
Cruel, being um all because Iwas justified due to what
happened to me and there's nojustifications for that.
So once you start learningabout yourself, once you start
going through your life andnotating who you are, what you
like, where you're at, andreflecting upon it, whether
again monthly, yearly I'll talkabout the commitment contract

(01:12:52):
next time too, because I madethat for myself.
But if it wasn't for thosethings and no one knows about
them why would anybody know thelevel of accountability I had to
hold myself for it?
It just had to happen, it hadto be done, and when it was done
, now I get to share it, I getto say it.
And now on to the next thing.

(01:13:12):
I practiced, I got there, I didit.
You can too.
You really can, um, but I justwent off a tangent for no darn
reason.
I just saw, I just realized too.
Also, sorry guys, my brain justdecided to show fire and
backfire.
But let me get back to what Iwas saying.
Um, the celebration wasbeautiful, the honor was

(01:13:33):
beautiful.
I, I'm still not in theacceptance stage.
I don't think, uh, and I don'tnecessarily know if I ever will
be, or until I find my own wayto say goodbye it.
Just because it's just not realnow.
I was there, I felt that, Icried, I did it.
I was there, I felt it, I cried, I did it.
I'm with it, I get it.

(01:13:54):
It's still not real for me, sothis is going to take me a
little while to navigate andthose things are okay, right,
but I'm so honored to have beenpart of that, I'm so blessed to
get to experience that level oflove and joy and honor of human

(01:14:15):
beings, and I want to do moreagain with what we're doing to
honor not only those humans whoare lost, but those who are here
fighting, fighting for us,fighting for our lives, fighting
for our freedoms to speak andbe heard, fighting for our
existence, existence advocatingfor the self, advocating for the

(01:14:38):
human right.
Um, they need to be recognizedas well.
So again, I said bittersweet,I've been blessed, we've been
blessed, and project human hasbeen blessed through all of this
too.
And I want to just a quick shoutout to a few of our donors.

(01:15:02):
We've had a few donors to ourorganization in honor of TAD and
they went to our website righthere.
They went to invest for changeand made a donation.
So if you're interested inmaking a donation in honor of
your loved one, you can do itright here or in in honor and

(01:15:25):
anything, or you just want tohelp us out?
Please do so.
Uh, the reason why I'mmentioning is this because
because of their donations andbecause of their inspirations,
um, the humans, who, who, whowere there for us, um, have
inspired us to coming up inquarter of.
Uh, in the first quarter of 2026or 2025, we're going to be

(01:15:47):
doing a, an honor page on ourwebsite that's going to be
dedicated to those who've losttheir loved ones.
Um, we'll have, we're gonna I'mworking on the back end right
now, so bear with me as that'scoming out because that first
quarter of 2025, but it'll be aplace where they can come and
share different ways of howthey've known them and a

(01:16:09):
community of us for us all toremember that we're not.
One life impacts hundreds.
One being impacts hundreds.
We're just not aware how muchof an impact we have, and if
we're gonna talk about trulytalk about that, I want to
create a space and a place wherewe can track it, we can see it
and we can create a visual rightfor the impact.

(01:16:31):
This happens, and so we'll beworking on that because of their
um, such generosity in increating that that it inspired
us to ensure that we create aspace for, again, those humans
who need it as well.
So we would like to give a hugeand special thanks to the Lathan
family.
Um, they made a donation to ourorganization and they left

(01:16:56):
notes that I believe in themessage you share and the more
of us need to reclaim ourhumanity and personhood.
So we thank you so much andthat is in honor of Tad as well.
We also had anothercontribution in memory of Tad
from the coffee familyey familyand we appreciate you as well,

(01:17:16):
and so much thank you for that.
And then the Kellerman family.
I thank you for your donation.
We're going to do an honor himproud.
We just thank you for includingus during your time of need to

(01:17:36):
be a part of your life, andincluding me specifically just
to be a part of your life.
Thank you.
He meant the world to me and Iappreciate what you.
When we have made the impact andwe get to say we did it because

(01:17:58):
he was the one being that,outside of everybody, outside of
anything.
When we first met and I toldhim about what I do and who I am
, no questions asked.
Nothing was like I stand foryou, I got you Like no questions
asked.
There was absolute trust in meand my vision and my path and

(01:18:21):
what I want to do.
That gave me the greatest boostof confidence.
I didn't, I didn't think Ineeded.
So if you trust, if you seesomeone you love and you, you
just believe in them and youwant to tell like, just tell
them, take that moment and belike I don't need to know what
you're doing, how you're doingit, why you're even doing it.

(01:18:43):
But if you tell me why, that'seven great.
But I believe in you and I'mhere for you and I support you,
no matter what.
That that goes a long way forbeings.
That really goes a long way,especially for those who are in
the back end of it all,struggling and trying to find
and navigate the way.
And, like I said, just because Iwork really hard to have these

(01:19:07):
conversations maintain, thisdoesn't mean I do not struggle
literally on a daily basis onhow I am going to get there and
navigate it.
I decide on joy, I decide onfulfillment, because that gives
me the most peace.
I'm not stressed with that.
If I'm stressed, if I start tofeel anxious, it's not me, it's
not who I am and I willimmediately stop it because it's

(01:19:31):
not who I am.
God did not create me forstress.
He did not create me for theanxiety.
I am not here for that.
That is.
It is peace doesn't mean it'seasy, that doesn't mean it's
fair.
That doesn't mean it's it's.
It's not painful or annoying oruncomfortable.
It means all of that and thensome, and I just want to focus

(01:19:54):
on then some, because the thensome is just so much better, so
much better than all the otherstuff.
So I thank you for listening tome.
Again, I thank you forfollowing us.
I thank you for over 300downloads and that helps us so
much, especially season one, forthe short amount of time that
we've done this.
I appreciate you and continueto support and share us.

(01:20:19):
Continue to download.
And again, if you're interestedin what we do more in Project
Human, please don't hesitate toreach out.
All the links are below and allthe links are in our social
media and my number is there.
Email is there.
Reach out, sign up, become partof the Fink family in our
community.
Help us change the world in theway we think and bridge it by

(01:20:43):
redefining all of our narratives.
It starts with each and everysingle one of us.
It starts with you in your hometoday.
It starts with the conversationyou have with yourself.
Change the way you speak to you.
You change the way you speak tothe world.
Change the way you see you.
You change the way you see theworld.
It is really the mostintrospective part of your

(01:21:04):
existence you will ever have,and the most beautiful
relationship you will ever buildis if you build one with
yourself and with God in a waythat it reflects what you're
capable of and where you'resupposed to be.
So, with all the blessings, allthe love and all the joy to you
in this holiday season, pleasehug your loved ones, please give

(01:21:26):
them genuinely like, give thema good hug and a kiss on the
cheek and just tell them youlove them.
Whether you may be mad at themor disagree or like or whatever
about their life decisions, itdoes not matter.
You are not obligated, you'renot responsible and you're not
accountable for that.
But you are responsible,accountable and obligated to
show love, compassion andkindness in the presence of a

(01:21:48):
human and to give them thatgrace.
So, at least in my humbleopinion, please do so.
And happy thanksgiving, happyholidays.
I'm sending you love until nexttime, my dear friends.