The Ascertainers
Music Musings & Other Drivel
Episodes
Big news on this one is that Mark's been granted clearance to once again enjoy his favorite beverage--Coors Light (potential sponsor?). Fun little episode with a nice cause to consider linked at the end of this write up.
- Shoutout Feegeebandmn for the funky theme music
- Shoutout Jenson Creative for the spiffy T Shirts
- Shoutout to Newt's Apple Valley for being the best (and only) sponsor ever!!
- Mark gets carni...
Well, just like that, it's Winter in Minnesota. We are joined on this one by the lovely and talented (and tolerant), Kris--Jim's wife.
- Sea Monkeys
- Missionary
- Songs of the Week:
- The Spirit of Christmas--Ray Charles
- O Holy Night--Carrie Underwood
- Petri Dish
- Mile High Club
- Passing the Curling torch
- Christmas Memories
- Baby it's Cold Outside
- Dean Martin
- Bill Maher
- Conan
- Socks and Stockings
- Kris's Adult C...
Recorded a matinee following Thanksgiving. Mark is still on the wagon, and Jim is just getting started, so this one is a bit more coherent than most.
- Ever pooped on a plane?
- Thanksgiving recap
- Shoutout to our Selena!
- Football halftime shows
- Post Malone, Jack White and Eminem
- Sides/leftovers
- Dutch oven variations
- That Gomer Pyle sure can sing
- Lawrence Welk
- Songs of the Week:
- Lawyers, Guns and Money--Warren Zevon
- Like a ...
Today we look at one hit wonders, who prove that to be a known band takes more than one song. No kidding. Buried on the One Hit Wonder discussion: Salute to Service--Thanks Mark, and who was more useless between Oates, Richard Carpenter and The Captain?
More links will be added shortly.
- Candy Corn facts
- Halloween disappointments
- A fist of Gatorade
- Current events and history
- Zed
- Songs of the Week
- The Escape Club--...
We are just getting back to this following our hiatus, and either Jim was way too amped up or Mark sabotaged Jim in editing to make it sound like he was interrupting--a lot. You be the judge.
- I scream you scream
- Shoutout Alex and Paul for our theme music
- Gleemer
- Thank you for your service, Mark
- Back to ice cream novelties
- Farewell Pat and Sue
- The lost art of imagination
- Mystery Theater
- Retsyn
- Watermelon
- Robert Redford Revis...
Hey everybody--did you miss us? We had to take a couple of weeks off because Joe Rogan's representation suggested that our ratings were becoming problematic. We rode it out and are glad you came back!
- The streak is broken
- Mark has something to say
- Shoutout the wonderful Dianne!
- Gateway meat
- How to get a Dr
- Sponge bath confessions
- Puddy
- Song of the Week
- The Question--Moody Blues
- Black Diamond--The Replacements (c...
Back from 3 weeks off and it only kind of shows. Jim is sorry for the excessive use of the F word. Stick and stones, people...
- Bucket trap
- Newt's--Exciting new menu item: Milkshakes!
- Shoutout Lance from ThinkDrinkDisney
- Song of the Week:
- VanHalen--Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
- Government Mule and Friends--Soul Shine
- RIP Local Newsman Stan Turner
- Deviled Ham
- Coach pants
- Chief Export
- Hands and Feet a...
Due to scheduling conflicts (we're both very popular), we had to reach into the pantry and pull an episode off the shelf. This one can be described as old and sorta loose. Grow up. We spend as much time trying to conceal the date of the recording as anything else.
- Mark sings
- Newt's gets their beer's worth on this one
- Classic Civil Defense Warning
- Radio Game--have you missed it?
- 2nd Albums
- Better Cars s...
They say size doesn't matter (well Mark does, anyway), but this one flowed so well, that we ran long. No extra charge. This is the second episode of the recording session with our Mystery Guest. Wide ranging topics and some deep insights that our regular listeners (both of you) might not be used to.
- Slacks/Trousers/Pants
- Malcolm in the Middle
- How guys communicate
- Nicknames
- Powered by Newt's
- What Mark saw
- Tea...
Nobody is completely clear as to why today's guest is anonymous. Maybe he's famous or something. Jim's famous wife joins as well.
- Dick & Jane
- The big anatomy book (the book is big, the anatomy is regular size)
- Bruce Jennerous
- Your Digital Oasis
- The Body Human
- Golf recap
- "Have you ever filmed yourself swinging?"
- Are the Packers for real?
- QB confidence
- Gumbacco
- Freshen up gum
- Mr Unlimited vs Dandy...
I'd describe this one as bouncy and light. A couple of decent laughs to be had. Thanks for listening!
- The Optimistic Alligator Tamer
- Vacation Boxing in Bangkok
- Point of Pride
- Mickey's Diner > or < Waffle House
- MN State Fair
- Airplane was a cover?
- David Lee Roth is at it again
- Songs of the Week:
- Pink Floyd--Learning to Fly
- Outlaws--Green Grass and High Tides
- Talk show host primer
- ESPN Anchor nostalgia
- ...
Took a couple of weeks off and the break might have paid off. You decide...
- Eric from JL Beers
- Cracker Barrel
- Shoutout guests Jack and Jake
- Newt's--How to eat for $2.13
- MN State Fair
- The miracle of birth
- Songs of the Week
- Willie Wisely--Parador
- Blind Melon--Drive
- What Jim thinks the road must be like
- The rest of the Police hate Sting
- Keith Moon--overrated?
- Benny Hill
- Phyllis Diller
- Steve Steven's footwear
- The ...
We bring the adult neighbor kids back for a second round. We tackle some of life's most pressing questions.
- The power of enunciation
- Guest Newt's spot
- Boo hoo Billy Joel
- We're Pontiac famous
- An inch can be a lot
- The Most Famous Person You've Ever Met
- Bill Murray wins
- Songs of the Week
- Billy Idol--Eyes Without a Face
- Riley Green--Jesus Saves
- Billy Idol--Mony Mony
- We skipped Mark--oops
- Wh...
We are joined by Jack and Jake. I list Jack first because it was supposed to be just Jack, but Jake pulled a big brother move. Entertaining episode!
- The Godfather
- The Guitar
- Golf (This episode brought to you by the letter G)
- OG Neighbor kids meet the new crop
- At this point in the episode Mark has said about seven words
- Third Kid tribulations
- Dicklomat (copyright pending)
- Mr Basketball
- Songs of the Week:
- The Chain--Fle...
I think this one could crack our top 87 episodes of all time. It's that good. For real, it's worth a listen!
- Joe Namath and hosiery
- Who else misses Johnny Carson?
- RIP Loni Anderson
- Plastic Surgery
- Mark's thing
- Errors and Omissions
- Who wants ham?
- Grateful Dead foolery
- Song of the Week
- RIP Terry Reid
#Newt'sAppleValley
TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Chef reacts to TikTok monstrosity - @chefreactions - Yo...
We've hit the big time as we now advertise in the Tomahawk Club Newsletter (Mark's private Pontiac owners club). I think it's an exclusive. Wonder what Joe Rogan thinks of THAT!
- Par 3 golf
- Newt's awesome new burger
- Errors & Omissions
- Ozzy's cool outfit
- Song of the week
- Jim: Wings--Band on the Run
- Mark: Fleetwood Mac--Got to Move
- Is R Kelly becoming our new Meatloaf?
- Taj Mahal
- Common...
Reunited after two weeks off from recording, and it feels so good. Sure, we took a little time away and the world loses the Prince of Darkness, but you know what they say--you gotta break a few eggs.
- Rough week for Iconic personalities
- RIP Ozzy--Thanks for the great tunes
- Songs of the week--Ozzy
- Flying High Again
- See You on the Other Side
- Shout out Lil' Sis, Jill
- We're not mad at Pat....
- Sorry Sue
- The s...
Pulled this episode off the shelf due to summer schedules. Originally recorded after Part 1 on March 14. Swear Alert--Jim drops more F-bombs than usual (he's working on it). It's probably a function of him overserving himself... Audio is a little janky at first but gets better.
- What day do you listen?
- Newt's shoutout OG Kayla
- Playdough
- From the Grave--The Radio Game!
- REM
- Comedy Movies--Part 2
- Marx Brot...
Jim was on vacation this week, so abbreviated write up. Round 2 with Chantz and Paris is a good time. From Mark's out of town drink preferences to drinking too much prune juice in Switzerland--its got something for everyone!
Enjoy!
#NewtsAppleValley
TheAscertainers@gmail.com
Mark's oldest son Chantz and lifelong friend/neighbor Paris join us for a free-flowing conversation that covers a lot of ground. Something for everyone.
- Escape plan
- Guest intro
- Mark's early driveway
- The smelter story
- Newt's initiation
- Young man, old soul
- Early musician stories
- Guest songs of the day
- Yeah by Usher
- Let it Happen by Tame Impala
- King Gizzard
- Errors and Omissions
- Peter Graves
- With a name lik...
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