June 30, 2025 • 51 mins
In this episode of the Asset Mindset Podcast, host Daniel Fielding sits down with Brandon Webb—former Navy SEAL, bestselling author, and successful entrepreneur.
From growing up on a sailboat to leading Navy sniper teams and building multimillion-dollar businesses, Brandon shares how the Navy SEAL mindset helped him overcome adversity and build lasting success in both life and business.
🔥 Topics Covered:
· How to turn failure into fuel
· Resilience in the face of personal and professional setbacks
· The power of the Asset Mindset
· Techniques to develop mental toughness and focus
Whether you’re a veteran, entrepreneur, parent, or anyone seeking to grow, this episode is packed with actionable insights and motivation.
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Website: https://brandontylerwebb.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Asset Mindset Podcast.
Today we get a very specialguest, brandon Webb, soft rep,
crate club author, new YorkTimes bestseller keynote speaker
.
I could go on and on right,brandon, but you know you SEALs
don't like to brag too much, soI won't say I won't have no
comment on that one.
(00:31):
But it's absolutely great tohave you here.
I'm honored to have you as aguest and for you to share your
mindset and we can talk aboutsuccess, things in life,
overcoming obstacles, all thegood things that I think help
people create an asset mindsetand for them to be successful in
life.
So why don't you share a littlebit about your story?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Sure, I'll try and be as brief as possible.
So you know, I guess I'll justshare my story how I became a
SEAL and then talk about my owntransition to entrepreneurship
and as a writer.
But I'm one of the unlikelySEALs.
Probably my parents werehippies.
(01:12):
I'm actually born in Canada, soI think I was the first Navy
SEAL that was from Canada.
But I have dual citizenship.
My mom is American.
I grew up in a sailboat.
No television, just books,homeschooled on and off.
So it was quite a shock when Itold my parents at a young age I
(01:33):
want to join the military.
They just were like where'sthis coming from?
I was as a kid because I livedon and off the family sailboat.
I was at the harbor all thetime.
We had bought a boat inVancouver, canada, and
ultimately sailed it down to theUS, seattle and then California
(01:57):
where we lived on the boat forabout five years and did a bunch
of cruising in Mexico and theSouth Pacific, of cruising in
Mexico and the South Pacific.
You know I, just by being inthat environment, I ended up
getting a job when I was 12years old, working on a scuba
diving boat for summers,basically like a gopher kid.
(02:17):
You know I would do everythinglike do people's laundry, fill
up scuba tanks, pull the anchor.
I was getting moreresponsibilities as I was.
I worked this boat until I was18.
But when I was about to turn 16,my father says we're going on
this huge trip to New Zealandand the first time I went on a
(02:39):
long trip with my family was wespent about a year in Mexico and
Baja.
And it was I was 11, sailing,diving, spearfishing.
But at 16 I had had a good jobon this dive boat.
I was making good money.
Like many 16 year olds orpeople who about to turn 16, I
wanted to get a car, my driver'slicense and chase girls with my
(03:01):
buddies.
I didn't want to go on this.
I don't want to go on this tripwith my dad.
So I reluctantly went and wesailed from Ventura, california,
all the way down to Mexico andto Acapulco, where I turned 16.
And Acapulco is a jumping offpoint to the South Pacific
because of the trade winds andyou can make one tack, so you
(03:22):
can essentially just sailstraight across because of the
trade winds and you can make onetack, so you can essentially
just sail straight across.
And um 30 days at sea.
We, we finally hit landfall andI told my dad it's like we need
to switch the main anchor onthe bow of the boat, uh, for a
bruce anchor which holds betterin reef.
My dad's like, yeah, you knowwhat you're talking about.
Well, first night we druganchor and being the humble 16
(03:46):
year old, I was like I told youso.
And in about three weeks laterwe went.
We made it to Tahiti and my dadand I had another argument and
he kicked me off the boat.
He's like I've had enough ofyour shit.
Maybe you should leave.
And you know you didn't want togo in on this trip anyway.
(04:06):
Maybe it's best if you callyour old boss and see if you
could get, you know, a spot onthe boat.
And so I did.
I called Bill, who on the diveboat piece it was called out of
Ventura Harbor, and I say youknow, bill, can I get my job?
And he's like, yeah, I'dfinished my junior year already
on independent studies.
So I looked on this messageboard in Tahiti and there was a
(04:29):
catamaran sailing to Hawaii andsaid you know, I went and
interviewed for the job and Igot it and I grabbed the
backpack and a hundred bucks andoff I went and I've been on my
own ever since.
So you know, I got back.
I flew Comair back to California, back to LA, from Hilo, hawaii,
(04:54):
finished school and originallyI wanted to be a fighter pilot,
like that was my whole dream.
But because of my divingexperience and then I,
practically speaking, I realizedmy grades weren't that great.
I wasn't going to make it intothe Naval Academy.
I was on my own.
I didn't have money for college.
I really didn't know about theROTC.
I was kind of intimidated by theprocess and ended up reading a
book Rogue Warrior, by DickMarcinko, the guy who created
(05:20):
SEAL Team 6.
And I was like, wow, I can dothis.
This is challenging and it'skind of my way out.
And the owner wanted to make mea dive boat captain.
But I was like, no, that's notthe life for me and so I joined
the Navy.
At the time you couldn't joindirectly to the SEALs, you had
to take.
I think it's similar like theSF and the Army you have to do a
(05:44):
regular job in the Navy, thenyou could apply for SEAL.
So that's what I did.
I was an air crew, search andrescue swimmer and sonar
operator in H-60 helicopters,did two deployments on aircraft
carriers one on the AbrahamLincoln, one on the Kitty Hawk,
and then finally they let me goto SEAL training, because my
(06:06):
first package was denied.
They're like we need you.
This is an undermanned job inthe Navy and we're not going to
let you go and I'm like son of abitch.
But of course I said I'm notgoing to reenlist unless you
send me to BUDS, which is a SEALtraining selection.
So I went to B to buds in 98,graduated with class 215.
(06:28):
We, like 23 of us, made it outof 220 something went to seal
team three, which was my firstchoice at the time before 9-11.
The only two teams that werereally getting work were team
four, which was responsible forsouth america, so they're doing
a lot of like counter drugoperations, and SEAL team three,
cause we're responsible for theMiddle East, and they were
(06:49):
doing a lot of likenon-compliant ship boardings,
like boarding those ships thatwere smuggling oil out of Iraq
under the UN sanctions.
That's when Saddam Hussein wasstill in power.
So I wanted to work.
I was like I don't want to, youknow, join to be a weekend
warrior.
I want to do the job.
So I went to three.
I did two platoons there.
(07:09):
Um, both platoons uh, weregreat.
My first platoon was with GlennDoherty who was and it was one
of my best friends.
He died in Benghazi.
He was one of the seal, theseals that died in that movie 13
hours, the seals that died inthat movie 13 Hours.
If anyone's seen that, it wasan amazing platoon.
I got back, had planned to stayin Gulf Platoon but wanted to
(07:30):
reenlist tax-free.
And the ops boss, kevin, saidlook, I'll only let you go to
the Middle East, which is atax-free zone, if you go to this
platoon, echo Platoon.
And everybody knew I don't knowif you've experienced this in
the ODA, but Echo platoon waslike the worst platoon at SEAL
Team 3.
(07:50):
Everybody knew about Echoplatoon.
I was like fuck, not thatplatoon.
They had just failed their ORE,which stands for Operational
Readiness Exam, which is like afinal mission that certify you
to deploy.
And kevin was like, look, we'rerebuilding the platoon.
It's kind of a shit show, butyou're a good guy and I want you
(08:12):
to be part of the rebuild andyou'll get to re-enlist.
I I probably wouldn't have doneit and switched, but I I had a,
my first son was on the way andlike an extra 10,000 or $7,000,
whatever it was in tax savingswas huge for me as an E5.
(08:32):
And so I made the dealinstantly, regretted it.
I remember we were doing a fastrope.
I was like this in the secondhelo and the first rope goes
down and one of these guys whichwe ended up shit canning later
he ropes down and I see his gunisn't clipped into his, his HR
and that's the gut, his MP5actually tumbles and falls on
(08:54):
the deck of this boat.
And I was like this is like thefucking Keystone cops.
And he, like, picked up the gunand like, luckily he didn't go
in the water.
He picked, picked up the gun,like, luckily he didn't go in
the water, he picked it up andran off and, uh, I remember
during the debrief I was likehey, uh, who was that that
(09:15):
dropped the gun?
And my chief was like like what?
But anyway, um, that's a wholenother story for a different day
.
Um, but I ended up going to warwith this platoon and because
9-11 happened and I missed thebirth of my son, he was born on
my Afghan deployment November30th 2001.
I came back was a sniperinstructor, an advanced sniper
instructor.
Then I got recruited to comedown to our basic sniper program
(09:37):
, which was going a massiveoverhaul, not only in the
technology that we use but alsothe way we taught.
We were teaching more like aMarine Corps style course, where
it was kind of like a boot campenvironment we're yelling at
the guys and it was sink or swimmentality and, fortunately
enough, we had a lot of budgetbecause of 9-11 to bring in the
(09:59):
best kind of performance coaches.
And this part of my career madea huge impact on me and, I
think, saved me in my transitionor at least helped me
tremendously, because there wasa big focus on positive mindset
and positive teaching overnegative teaching.
And that's as simple as whenyou're teaching somebody, or
(10:20):
coaching, or even with yourchildren, when you point out all
their mistakes, especially whenthey're a beginner, you're just
programming them for failure,because coaching, or even with
your, with your children, whenyou point out all the mistakes,
especially when they're abeginner, you're just
programming them for failurebecause they don't even know
right.
So, as a sniper example, if I'mtelling um, like johnny kim,
who's now an astronaut, who wasone of my students, if I say,
johnny, you're flinching, stopflinching.
(10:41):
Well, now, all he's thinkingabout is flinching.
His partner is thinking aboutflinching.
Well, now, all he's thinkingabout is flinching.
His partner is thinking aboutflinching.
And anyone that heard me saythis is thinking about flinching
.
And I'm giving the whole classa complex rather than just give
them the corrective input Likehey, johnny, calm down, take a
deep breath, make a nice, smoothtrigger pull.
Same kind of desired outcome,but very different way to get
(11:02):
get to get the outcome, andpositive always wins over
negative.
So we did things likevisualization techniques, how to
push out negative self-talk.
So we're teaching this to likethe sniper students and a lot of
them remember the first class.
They didn't buy into it.
I was giving my students liketapes on visualization and
everyone was giving these mystudents a hard time because you
(11:24):
have like four studentsassigned to each instructor,
like your instructor studentmentor program we had and my
students at the first shootingtests were the first ones to
score perfect hundreds.
They did 100, 95, 100 on boththe snaps and movers and unknown
distance tests because theyeach had to shoot one as a spot
(11:46):
and then everybody wanted thosetapes or the cds.
After that you know back backwhere we had cds, um, but it was
amazing because also, we had aalmost a over 20 failure rate
and when we made these changes,uh, the way we we taught as
positive over negative, wetaught them all these techniques
that were used at the toplevels of sports and the
(12:08):
Olympics.
The graduation rate went to, orthe failure rate went to, zero,
almost zero, and just stayedthere.
Like it was rare for us to faila student at that point and it
was instantly and that reallyleft an impact on me.
(12:49):
No-transcript.
And the sea duty is like asuper high, high tempo operation
.
Well, the instructor tour wasconsidered sea duty and I and
I'd given up my shore tour,which is like a cushy seal
instructor job.
You work like three days a weekand finish with your master's
degree.
I'd given that up to be asniper instructor because a guy
(13:13):
from SEAL Team 6, bob, recruitedme and then when I got down
there, bob promoted me andretired and he's like here's the
keys to the course.
He's like I'm making you thecourse manager and I'm like, oh
my, my god, which was anincredibly rewarding job, but I
was burned out.
(13:33):
When it came time for me tore-up, I extended a year and
then I said you know what?
I just I'm burned out and so Idecided to leave.
In 2006 I did a little bit ofcontracting, but it was mainly
focused on entrepreneurship.
Both of my parents wereentrepreneurs and became
successful on their own accordlater in life, but I knew I
wanted to be my own boss.
(13:53):
I had my first startup crashand burn in the 2008 financial
crisis.
Same time, my wife was like,hey, I don't want to be married
to you anymore.
Like you put me through hell asa seal and now this
entrepreneurship is like just asbad.
So I was like no wife, kids are.
(14:14):
You know?
I was left alone in a house allby myself in san diego.
Kids and wife moved away, lostmy entire life savings I had had
invested in apartments becausewhen I was on my instructor tour
, I had about half a milliondollars saved up for a new chief
E7, quite a bit of money in themilitary and I lost everything.
(14:37):
I had no life savings, nofamily, family and this is the
part where I either jump off thebridge or I remember all these
kind of mental managementtechniques that I taught to
snipers and I was like, look, Ijust need to find the positive
in all of this.
And so I started changing mymindset.
I was like, okay, well, I havea good relationship with my ex,
(14:59):
which is great.
I have a ton of valuablelessons I learned in this four
years of me starting a business,not even knowing how to read a
profit and loss or any financialstatements.
So I gained financial literacy.
I knew how to raise money viadebt or equity, and I just
(15:21):
started thinking totallydifferent about the experience.
And then things started to looka lot better.
And so at this time I was alsowriting for magazines and the
SEALs were just starting tobecome popular, mainly because,
you know, you got Luttrell,wrote Lone Survivor, and then I
think that book did really well.
(15:41):
I think that book did reallywell.
And then, for whatever reason,the SEALs just started becoming
all over the place in the media,right With these high profile
raids from you know count backfrom the Bin Laden mission.
It was the Captain Phillipsrescue, all these other things,
and it was like SEAL, seal, seal.
So everybody, if you had a andI was like one of the few SEALs
(16:04):
like me, chris, and had a and Iwas like one of the few SEALs
like me, chris, and Latrell, wegot out kind of mid-career and
so our peer group was stillactive duty and we were able to
do very well with the books thatwe wrote.
But I was writing for magazinesand then I was someone said, oh,
you should write a book.
And then Latrell was like man,you got a crazy story, you
should write a book about yourtime into the SEAL team.
(16:28):
So I ended up getting an agentwhich took a while and then sold
the book for a nothing advance,and then the book did really
well.
That was the Red Circle, and atthe time I had to get a real
job.
I lost my first business.
I went to work for L3 for twoyears to kind of build back my
nest egg and then, as the bookwas doing well, I was blogging
(16:53):
for militarycom and running agear blog for them and I was
like you know what?
I think there's all thisinterest in the world of special
ops.
Let me start a site, and thatwas soft rep.
And soft rep was initiallystarted just to be a culture
blog, like talk about themissions and the training and
the weapons.
(17:13):
But what I found out was I hadan army sf guy that was in one
of my first writers.
It was a great writer, jackmurphy.
He was like hey man, I just sawthis thing on CNN and they got
it totally wrong, like that'snot what happened in Afghanistan
, and so he would write it upand we started breaking news and
then the New York Times iscalling us like who the hell are
(17:34):
you guys?
How do you know this?
It's just like we had all thisinsider access and sources from
our military experience, thatwould take a reporter like 20
years to develop.
And so that was when soft repturned into a new site.
And then I had to figure outokay, how do I, how do I
ethically run a new site?
(17:54):
Cause we used to even do satire, like I don't know if
everyone's seen the duffel blog,but they have some funny, funny
stories, right.
But I realized you can't be,you can't be an onion and then
report the real news at the sametime.
People are going to freak out.
So, yeah, softrip, I still runthat today with a few other
sites.
13 years I started the CrateClub, which you mentioned.
(18:17):
That was an e-commerce site.
I sold that in the pandemicbecause we had massive supply
chain issues.
I learned a lot of lessons inthat business.
It was a great business.
There's times I wish I stillhad it, but yeah, that's my
story.
My kids are grown in college.
I have a son.
(18:37):
He has a tech startup withartificial intelligence.
My daughter is about tograduate from Goldsmiths in
London, which is a design school, and my youngest just graduated
high school and the kids areamazing and their mom is a great
mom.
We've developed a really good,like positive co-parenting
(18:58):
relationship.
I get along with her husband,so it's it's, it's it's.
You know, it's been achallenging ride all around,
like we've.
We've all as parents we face.
You know everything drugs, youknow all sorts of shit but, um,
we have amazing kids.
So I'm really thankful for thatand, yeah, have a good life.
So I, to finish it up, I movedto portugal two years ago.
(19:21):
I still go to new york, but I'mhere in Lisbon largely because
I get asked all the time whyLisbon, portugal has a tax
treaty with America and it'slike a lot of people, they live
in a tax-friendly state becausethey don't want to pay state
income tax.
Well, portugal, I don't pay anystate income tax.
I just pay my federal tax andthat's it.
(19:41):
So it's a tax friendlyenvironment, the weather's great
and a dollar goes far here.
So I'm like really happy withPortugal and yeah, that's my
story.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
That's an amazing story, Absolutely amazing.
That's quite the intro, soimagine the full thing.
You need to read the book redcircle.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
You'll get more.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
But, yeah, absolutely , Anybody that's listening.
Please pause, go in thedescriptions, check more out.
On Brandon, We'll have all thelinks links to his books, links
to SoftRep, all the wonderfulthings.
If you want to dive deeper.
The thing I would like to divein with you is you have seen a
lot of different obstacles,challenges in life military-wise
(20:26):
, family life, business life.
So I talk about people that aresuccessful, have this certain
mindset and take ownership.
I deem it the asset mindset.
Can you share?
Overcoming those militarychallenges, those life
challenges?
What are you able to do in yourmind?
(20:47):
That's different from a lot ofpeople that would break them.
So can you share yourtechniques or your habits or
what it is?
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I think I think early on and really like leaving home
at 16 and I was scared like youknow, I talk about it in the
red circle I I cried myself tosleep the first three nights,
like terrified, like what thehell did I just do?
I'm on this strange boat awayfrom my family, sailing to
hawaii, um, but I think at yourealize that it kind of builds,
(21:20):
builds resilience oftentimeswhen I talk about I wrote a book
called Mastering Fear.
You know the stories and thescenarios we invent in our heads
are often, you know, 10 to 100times worse than that actuality,
right?
So I was fortunate enough tolearn a lot of these lessons at
a very young age.
So I think, early on, when andwhen people would tell me I mean
(21:45):
I don't know if you experiencedthis when you say it's good, I
think very good thing to haveyour goals and actually state
them out loud.
And when you tell people I wantto, I want to try to become a
SEAL, and I would say 90% of thepeople I interacted with, who I
actually really cared about,they're like that's impossible,
why, why are you going to dothat?
(22:06):
And I'm like wow, like thanksfor the words of encouragement
there and you know, there werevery few people who actually
believed in me, and so I just Ithink one of the things that
helped me is I believed inmyself and sometimes, like you
can love somebody.
They could be a good friend orfamily member, and who knows
(22:29):
what the hell is going on intheir heads and they're dealing
with their own insecurities ormaybe sometimes they're coming
from a position of care.
But a lot of times you findyourself in these situations.
Maybe it's a career change, youwant to give up your nine to
five and buy a franchise or gointo business.
People will just shit all overyou, you know, and like people
(22:49):
that matter to you, and so it'stough to take that I remember,
similar to I just watched thatSpaceX documentary on Netflix.
I mean here Elon Musk like ittook over 20 years for SpaceX to
be successful.
You had Buzz Aldrin, which isthe first man on the moon,
testifying at Congress how Elonwas out of his mind in a farce
(23:13):
for wanting to reland a firststage rocket.
He's like impossible, this isnever going to work.
So imagine a guy like that whohad to go through all that stuff
.
How tough it must've been forhim.
But he, he just believed and Ithink that's that's something
that that really sometimes youhave to believe in yourself.
I mean, I think it's importantto surround yourself with really
(23:35):
good people.
I think that's you know mostpeople know that by now like you
are, you hang out with, butsometimes you got to just
realize, hey, I, I have what ittakes and I got to believe in
myself.
So I think that was a big one,you know.
I think back to my challenges inthe military.
(23:56):
I had a really terrible boss asa SAR swimmer.
I thought you know myphilosophy and I still believe
in this is whatever job you do,do it to the best of your
ability and make a goodimpression on day one and on the
last day through that wholeperiod.
We've all been in these jobswhere people come in and they do
(24:16):
a good job the first week andthey start slacking off right.
The one thing I learned as aSEAL is you got to earn it every
day, because I saw guys thatwere in the SEAL teams four or
five years, even my swim buddy.
He had a bad day and lipped offas a new guy and he got sent
back to the fleet and he had togo through SEAL training all
over again.
So it made a big impression onme.
(24:37):
I was like, okay, you've got toreally bring your A game every
day, you just can't slack off.
But I remember the first timebefore I was a seal, I was
applying to be a seal my secondtime and my philosophy was like,
okay, I'm just gonna do thebest job I can, I'm gonna get
(24:58):
all the qualifications, um, andthen that kind of backfired on
me because I had this, this jerkboss, which sometimes we get,
we, you get a really bad boss.
And this guy was from the south, we were.
I was stationed on the westcoast.
He hated west coast guys likewould make fun of us publicly
with his, with his alabamaaccent and he had he played
(25:19):
favorites he had.
I remember this guy, mendoza,in my shop we used to do logs
and records.
So my secondary duty is I hadto put in the flight hours and
everyone's logbooks and me andthis guy, mendoza, were and I'm
like dude, I just did all mywork in an hour.
Why are you still doing this?
Well, chief thinks I'm workinghard, so he's just dragging it
(25:39):
out, right, and I'm like, whatthe hell?
But anyway, I end up getting myevaluation.
I was an E4, and I was friendswith somebody in admin.
This guy, he told me at lunchhe's like hey, dude, you're
getting screwed on your eval.
And I was like what do you mean?
He's like you've been herealmost three years and you're
(26:02):
getting the same eval as thisnew check-in using E4.
And I was like, are you kiddingme?
It's like, cause I had all thequalifications, like I had more
quals than a lot of E5s and E6sin the squadron, and so I was
like that's bullshit.
So I I actually, when Iremember I got, I got the eval.
This is, this is this does havea happy ending and you'll
appreciate it.
(26:23):
You'll appreciate it as a as afellow military guy.
So I read my email and there'sa little box that says you could
submit a statement.
So I signed it and checked thebox and my chief didn't even
notice.
But two days later he calls mein the office.
He's like Petty Officer Webb.
He's like what the hell are youdoing?
He was like the commandingofficer is asking me for your
(26:45):
statement, for my, for yourevaluation, and I was like, yeah
, I have it right here.
And I handed it to him and hewas just turning all shades of
red and purple.
So we get called in together tothe commanding officer.
Nice, his name was rosa, he hadjust taken over.
Rosa was like, he was like a,the kind of boss you want to go
to war with, right.
So, um, rosa calls me in theoffice, he puts my email in
(27:09):
front of chief carnley and hesays chief, like you've, I've
read pittance or webb'sstatement.
Now what do you have to say?
And he started mumbling andstuttering, he couldn't get a
coherent word out.
And rosa, I remember, looked atme and he's like he's like
pastor webb, I don't know how totell you this, but your chief
(27:29):
maybe doesn't know how to writeyour e-mail.
So he slid a blank e-mail.
He's like you go ahead and fillit in for yourself.
I was like, and I couldn'tbelieve it, because being a
chief in the Navy is a bigfucking deal and for the
commanding officer to do thatwas like unheard of.
And I was like so I, you know,filled in my own e-mail and, man
(27:52):
, I had orders to buds like thenext day, like that chief
couldn't wait to get rid of myass.
I just addressed the facts.
I took the emotion out of itand I was like look, this is the
mark.
It says 4-0, 4-4.
This is back when we were onthe 4-0 eval system.
Now I think it's 5-0.
(28:13):
I said this is what it meansand here are my accomplishments,
and just kept the facts.
But it really taught meimportant lessons.
Sometimes you got to stand upfor yourself and you can't let
emotion get in the way If youthink that facts are on your
side.
Sometimes you got to stick upfor yourself and you can't let
emotion get in the way If youthink that facts are on your
side.
Sometimes you got to stick upfor yourself.
(28:34):
So that was a time.
Fortunately, it paid off and itdid later on in my career, when
I was a sniper course manager,at a very similar situation but
that's an example.
In business I was was fortunate.
Like I said, when I had a reallybig setback, losing everything,
it was the mindset of apositive mindset over negative.
I mean, those negative thoughtsalways creep in, right, we
(28:57):
never can get rid of them.
But to take some time andreally learn some tools, um, and
then you know there's plenty ofbooks out there.
Uh, with winning in mind is agreat book, one of my mentors
who's a gold medalist, lannybasham, who was a he was an army
am you guy won the won the goldmedal.
He used that technique on hisown, techniques on himself to
(29:19):
win gold after after he lost hisfirst big olympics, uh in
munich.
Um, you know it's positive,choosing the positive over the
negative, because it's easy tokind of get in that negative
feedback loop.
But that those mentalmanagement techniques that I
learned and taught to the SEALsnipers and used on my own kids,
(29:41):
used on myself, like that's abig reason.
I think I've had a much bettertransition than a lot of my
peers because I always look forthe positive and I'm telling you
like I've been through a lot ofshit, man.
I've had people steal from me II had my last controller
embezzled three hundred thousanddollars.
I had.
The guy ahead of my productprocurement was a marine corps
(30:04):
guy, very squared squared away.
I served with him in Iraq on acontract for OGA.
He had a drug problem, gothooked on drugs through the VA,
ended up ordering $2 millionwith a worthless fucking product
that was just sitting in mywarehouse.
And then I let him go with thisbig fat severance Cause I'm
(30:27):
like, I cared about him, likedude, get your life together.
The day that severance ended hewent on social media and do
shit all over me and I rememberDakota Meyer, who's a mutual
friend.
Dakota called me.
He's like what the fuck?
Blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like you don't realize,man, this guy has serious
problems.
And he's like, whatever Causethe guy was, they're both
Marines.
So, and Dakota called me acouple of weeks later to
(30:50):
apologize Cause he's like I hadhim to my house in Texas.
It was a disaster.
He's doing drugs in front of mychildren and I was like I told
you so, man.
But but that guy, that guy wasa major reason I had to sell the
crate club because I was in thewhole 2 million.
Covid comes along and our net 60terms.
(31:10):
That means like I'm buying, sayyou know how many.
We had 20,000 subscribers, soI'm buying like a lot of knives,
right.
So I'm cutting a check for like$500,000 for some knives to put
in this month's box and I wasgetting that.
So I would order the knives andhave 60 days to pay for the
knives, right, and that was howour business cashflow model work
(31:32):
.
But now COVID comes along, sonet 60 turns into hey, I
actually want money upfront forthe product.
It's like well, our businessdoesn't work like that.
So, um, and I'm 2 million inthe hole with product they can't
use, uh, so I sold it to uhBattlebox and thankfully they're
(31:59):
doing a great job carrying onthe business.
I've been through a lot of shit,but you have to with a terminal
illness.
So my repayment from mycontroller is when I took off
for a year to spend time with myfather.
This guy steals 300K from melike micro embezzlement from
PayPal.
So I was just like you got tobe kidding me, man.
So you talk to any entrepreneurthat's been around long enough
(32:24):
or business owner.
This stuff isn't like new, likewe've all had business owner.
This stuff isn't like new, likewe've all been, we've all had
to deal with this stuff.
Um, but I would tell you thislike being a business owner, an
entrepreneur, I've been way morestressed out than I was in
combat.
At least, in combat it's justyou, it's you doing a job good
and caring about your teammatesand try not to get shot, right.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
So it's so much simpler.
People don't understand.
I have to live through the dayand don't let any of my buddies
die.
Okay, got it.
That's my mission.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Way easier.
I'm not losing sleep on how tomake payroll this month, so but
yeah, I think I answered some ofthat question.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
No, you did great.
I'll share a quick one of mystories that you said it just
brought back.
You know, when you, when youtalk guys like ourselves, I
hadn't thought of this in years.
But you're talking about your Agame and every day you have to
show up and earn it.
So I'm a cherry, brand new inmy company.
(33:23):
I'm walking in and there's asergeant first class, so and so
I won't embarrass anybody's namehere, but it's in the hallway
and I'm like, hey, where's thisgoing?
Do I need to help?
Or what you know?
They're like oh no, he just gotkicked off the team.
I'm like, whoa, whoa, an E7?
I'm a lowly E5.
And I'm like, ooh, I betterkeep my shot group type If they
kick off a Sergeant First Class,just like all this stuff was in
(33:44):
the.
I don't know exactly whathappened, because I was the
cherry and I kept my mouth shutand didn't ask too many
questions.
But yeah, there's standards andif you want to play in certain
circles or teams, you need tostep up and continually work
every day and try hard yep, thatguy who dropped the mp5.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Actually, when we were in in o Jordan, I remember
Admiral Harwood.
He was a captain then he wasour commodore.
He's definitely an admiral now,but he found out about that and
that this guy, we were preppingour Humvees to go into Kandahar
and he was off fucking aroundflirting with some army girl and
(34:24):
my chief was livid and my chiefwas 5'4.
My chief was like you know,five, four full of piss and
vinegar and actually was one ofone of the seals that blew up
noriega's boat in panama, likeone of the dive pairs, um, just
a kind of a legend in the team.
And chris was limited and thecommodore was like, hey, you
have a problem with this guy, wesend him home right now.
The guy was in e6, packed hisshit back, pull his seal pin and
(34:47):
off you go.
So similar similarcircumstances.
And it does make and this is agood lesson in any type of
organization that's a positivesignal, right, like if a
negative signal signal would beletting someone like this
continue on, because whatmessage does that send to the
rest of the team?
It's like, well, if he can getaway with it, maybe I can just
(35:08):
slack off on this and why put inthe extra effort?
And so these are.
And I went after I had thatCrate Club sale, I went back to
business school at Harvard andthey talked about signaling like
this and it's super importantfor any organization, even a
family like you have to havepositive.
There's positive signals andnegative signals and you need to
(35:29):
make sure you're signaling in apositive way to to to let
everyone know.
This is the kind of behaviorthat gets rewarded and this is
the kind of behavior that gets,that has consequences.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah, I appreciate all the time in parenting with
all my kids, even mysix-year-old right now.
I'm like cause and effect.
What's that you?
Do good things, you get goodthings.
You do bad things, you get badstuff, yeah like bad things and
it can be at any level we share.
we have farm animals, you know,and bad things happen.
This happens.
Well, a door was left open,somebody didn't do their job.
(36:03):
Well, some ducks died, you know, and you'd explain to the kids
and you know there's realconsequences.
So I also just really love howyou talk about the positive
Continually.
You are sharing that.
I talk about that in the assetmindset, how you have to be a
page master, like turn the pagein your mind when you're
focusing on that negative thing.
(36:24):
You have to shift and focus tosomething positive Because if
you're still breathing andyou're still alive, listeners,
there's something positive inyour life that you can look at.
There always is.
Don't get stuck on the negativeand please take a moment to
pause.
Subscribe If you like whatwe're talking about.
Follow us on all the socialmedias YouTube Please check out
(36:48):
everything Brandon's got goingon and follow him as well.
We have everything in ourdetails.
So check that out and sharethis positive message with
people that need it, because weall know we need a little more
positivity and love in the world.
So I gotta say again, thisshift that you have and able to
(37:08):
always go to the positive.
Is there any techniques likeI've heard people say like oh,
I'll think of six things, or oh,I'll do this or that or I'll
reframe.
What do you do when thatnegative thing comes about?
Because it does to everybody.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Yeah, no, it's a good question about, because it does
to everybody.
Yeah, no, it's a good question.
So I mean now, today, me, todayI have as a habit it just
happens right, but it wasn'talways this way.
Like I remember, when I wasgoing through the divorce and
had had the business failure, Ihad to actually write a mantra
like okay, these.
I had to remind myself of thegood things, and that was as
(37:48):
simple as like putting it in myphone and reading it every
morning.
Like I am this.
You know, I've accomplishedthis, I'm a good dad, you know
all the positive things and alittle bit of like aspirational
stuff in there as well.
And if you just pound that intoyour head and you and you, I
had sticky notes in the bathroommirror, so I'm like shaving
reading this stuff.
And that's what it yeah, that'swhat it takes to kind of imprint
(38:09):
like, do a positive imprint andsometimes you have to just
hammer it into your own head andeventually you know you start
changing the way you think.
Now it just comes naturally tome and I do.
I wrote another book calledMastering Fear after teaching my
really close friend Kamal, whowas a successful venture
(38:30):
capitalist and an author as wellHis brother Naval Ravikant a
lot of people know Naval becausehe created AngelList and kind
of a Silicon Valley guru.
I hate that I said that, butit's true.
Everyone loves Naval.
But I taught Kamal how to swimin a week.
(38:51):
And this is a guy that had neverswum in his life and was
panicked in any water situationand it had just been like man,
brandon, can you help me getover this?
Can you recommend a swim school?
I remember he was telling me hewas helping Tim Ferriss edit
Tools of Titans in New York andthere was like a pool party and
he was really like embarrassedto get invited to swim and he's
(39:12):
like, no, I don't, I can't swim,you know, like a guy in his 40s
saying that.
So I said look, man, let meteach you.
And at first he was like no way, dude, like you're just going
to throw me and tie my hands andlegs up like those seal videos.
I was like no man, let me juststart.
We're going to take small steps.
And I used the kind of samemental management techniques
(39:34):
that I learned as a sniperinstructor and used them on
Kamal.
And he's like dude, you changedmy life.
It's like I can swim now and Iactually I remember on Monday a
guy that was terrified of thewater and on Friday doing
cannonballs in the pool and hewas like you changed my life.
He's like you got to write abook about this.
So I wrote Mastering Fear and Ihave a lot of techniques as well
(39:57):
in there, but the big ones arewhat I share.
Right, you just got tosometimes pound it into your own
head to shift your mindset.
But the good news is, once youmake a habit of it, you don't
even have to do that.
It just naturally comes in myhead and sometimes, you know I
do I think about bad things thatcan happen and I'm like, okay,
where's the positive in this?
(40:17):
Like how am I going to reframethis in a positive way for me
and my friends and family?
Because it's just the way mymind works now and it's proven,
proven, like over and over again.
Um, you know it's, and it's soimportant, especially with kids.
I read somewhere there was astudy that for every like one
(40:40):
negative input a kid has in hislife, whether it's a
well-meaning teacher that sayssomething fucked up or a coach,
it takes like five positivethings to wipe that one out,
like that did a big researchstudy.
Um, so it's, it's so importantto to you know it's.
You have to be a realist but atthe same time, like you know,
(41:00):
developing a positive mindsetand then realizing, sometimes we
carry our own bullshit withthis I'm.
I remember another story when Iwas taking my kids skiing in, uh
, squaw valley.
My son grayson has always beenwhat kind of the?
He's the baby of the family.
He's been the kind of the rebel.
He was five and he didn't wantto ski like the rest of us.
(41:23):
You want to snowboard.
And here he is about to just hopin this huge mud puddle and I'm
about to scream at him.
I'm like no, you know, I justbought you new ski gear for
Christmas.
But then I stopped myself in myhead and I was like no, who
cares?
Like, if that's fun to him.
Why do I give a shit?
He's going to hop in this mudpuddle, like why?
Why am I stopping him?
(41:44):
And I was like dude, knockyourself out.
And he's like smashing all overlaughing.
We all started laughing and I'mlike, but it's like a small
example of how parents cansometimes just quickly react to
something that's really sillyand like force a kid to not do
it Right, and it's like reallywhat the hell does it matter?
You know that this kid is goingto jump in the freaking.
Let them jump in the mud.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
It's a kid man, a kid .
Let them have their childhood,you know.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
I like the saying I don't know you might've heard
this when you have children andthey start making you mad, fast
forward to your 80-year-old selfand then watch that kid do that
and would you yell at them orwould you just be in admiration
and grateful for the time youhad together and I'm like, wow,
that was very powerful asparenting.
(42:33):
So I try and do that sometimeswhen I see behavior or things
going on or like oh, you'remaking a mess, and then I'm like
you know what?
Do I really care about thatmess?
Yeah, look how happy you are.
Look at the kind of race you'redoing yeah, that, and that
applies to many things.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Right, it's like what does your 80 year old self
think about this?
Or what would you, you know,have wish you had done?
You know before you, you'reyour 80-year-old self, but
that's a super powerful one.
The other thing and I don'tmean to turn this into a
parenting podcast, but it'smindset, it's all of it, the
(43:11):
real, and this applies for life.
I actually learned this atbusiness school because I
considered myself a goodnegotiator before I went to
business school and then Irealized how complex the
negotiation process is, and onething we did was map everything
out.
So just take a simple realestate transaction and think
about all the parties that areinvolved in buying a house.
(43:32):
Right, you have yourself, maybeyour wife, those two parties on
one side, the sellers, whichmay be one or two people, their
agent, your agent, so that'slike six people with all
different motives and ideas andmotivations.
Right, and you have to likehave you ever like, even in a
(43:54):
real estate transaction, mappedout the motives and incentives?
Because that's important foragents, because they just want
the commission.
They don't give a shit aboutyou, they want to close that
deal and get the commission.
And so map it all out and listout, and sometimes you have to
guess.
What are the motivations of theseller.
Do they want more money?
(44:14):
Do they want to close fast,maybe take less money?
Map it all out and then draw aline where the price is and then
figure out okay, this is myabsolute highest number that I'm
going to pay for this house andthis is my bottom line, where
I'd like to be.
And then somewhere in themiddle is this zone of
possibility right?
But people don't even do thatin these, the basics of most
(44:38):
negotiations.
So and there's much more to itand one of the best books I've
read on negotiation has neversplit the difference and I'll
tell you I was an ass about it.
I looked at that book and I'mlike what does some FBI guy know
right about negotiation?
And boy was I humbled when Iread it.
It was also a reminder like getout of your own bullshit.
(44:59):
Sometimes that book wasincredible, but my point is I
remember it was also a reminderlike get out of your own
bullshit.
Sometimes that book wasincredible, but my point is, I
remember I was writing a chapterin the parenting book I'm
working on now on discipline,and I remember my youngest got
suspended from school.
My ex called me.
We had this conversation.
It was all about okay, we'regoing to drop the hammer on this
kid, right, like how can he getthrown out of middle school at
(45:22):
seventh grade?
This is terrible.
And we were ready to throw thebook at him.
And I don't know if it was meor my ex, but we had this
amazing psychologist that helpedus through our divorce.
But I think it was me that saidlook, maybe let's talk to Dr
Baker and see if she has anycoaching techniques.
And so she was like look, yourson is like he's, you know,
(45:43):
between 12 and 15.
It's one of the toughest timesfor boys.
They're going through puberty.
She's like you need to get tothe root cause of this behavior.
And so when we and we're like,no, that's great advice.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
So we actually were like how much is the root cause?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Well, yeah, well, because you hear suspended and
you want to drop the hammer onthe kid Right.
So I actually flew to Oregonand sat down.
I was like what's the problem,buddy?
Like what's going on?
And it turns out, after wepeeled the layers of the onion
back, he had his homeroomteacher, had embarrassed him
terribly in front of the wholeclass and so he had this like
(46:21):
antagonistic relationship withthe homeroom teacher.
And this woman was a nightmare,like we found out she had been
like, she had, you know, half adozen complaints against her.
The principal even said yeah,she's a, she's kind of difficult
, but I have no choice, we'reshorthanded teachers.
She had, I'll tell everyone she.
She had him stand up in frontof the class and started
(46:43):
berating him for being a victimof white privilege.
And this is a white womanyelling at a like a 12 year old
kid, embarrassing him in frontof an entire class.
And so of course, this kid'sgonna act out right, ordering
pete uber, eats pizza, pizza tothe classroom like Spicoli and
Fast Times, rich Monat.
(47:03):
I mean, he got suspended and Iwas like, at the end of it, when
the dust settled, his mom and Itook his side, we pulled him
out of school, homeschooled himfor a year and then put him in a
different school and he wentfrom Fs and Ds to B plus average
, to like B plus average andjust graduated got a university
at Oregon, but that.
(47:24):
So now I like I love checklistsbecause I'm a pilot and a SEAL,
right so in military guys.
So I'm like at the end of thischapter I give a little detailed
checklist.
Like here are the things likeare you having emotional
reaction, yes or no?
Like give this like parentchecklist so they can take all
the emotion out of it and get tolike the root cause of the
situation.
(47:45):
And I think this applies inmany things, right, like in life
when something blows up arelationship, it's a good
analytical tool to kind of resetand make sure that you're
approaching things from like acentered emotional state,
because it's so easy as a parentto just blow up and want to
throw the book at these kids.
And in reality we could havepushed our son away.
(48:06):
He could have got into drugs,he could have went a totally
different path.
But we like pulled him in closeand said okay, son, what's the
problem?
Like really, what's botheringyou here?
And when he told us this and weverified it.
I was like you got to bekidding me.
Like what teacher says this toa 12 year old boy, you know, in
front of an entire classroom ofkids.
(48:27):
So anyway, parenting rant overassess.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
I tell people stop all the time when I'm trying to
help them.
Let's stop.
Think, observe, plan, then plan.
Don't do knee-jerk reactions,don't get emotional, let your
emotions run wild with things.
Yes, acknowledge your emotions,acknowledge the other person's
emotions, but don't let themmake the decision.
Use your brain, step back,observe, and that's what you did
.
You said it right there, likehey, peeling back the onion, you
(49:04):
found the truth.
And then what happens?
When you get to the truth, thenyou can deal with it.
Otherwise, you're never goingto fix the problem.
So that's great and I thinkthat's a fantastic tool, a
checklist for people.
It just keeps it simple, stupid.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Yeah, I love checklist too, man, I was the
engineer log guy on my audio.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
So I mean check, we got this, we got that you're in
my generation, man.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
They're the little green books, right?
Speaker 1 (49:30):
oh, yeah, yeah, green book yeah, yeah, we're born
very close.
Yeah, you're 74 I'm 75, so youknow I'm turning 50 yeah, but um
man, this is just fantastic.
Things are going, and quick.
I don't want to cut it off yet,but we are coming to the end,
so please like, follow,subscribe the asset, mindset,
share.
Check out Brandon Webb and allthe stuff he's doing soft rep.
(49:53):
Check out his book Red Circleand go in the description.
You'll find all the informationyou want.
But before we go, I'm going toask you to leave one nugget, one
solid nugget that you wouldlike to share, that you've
learned in all your coaching,sniper stuff, parenting,
(50:13):
whatever.
What would be the one technique, or maybe habit, that you'd
like?
Speaker 2 (50:17):
the audience to gain and be aware of.
I mean, honestly, we talkedabout it quite a bit but I think
you know, always defaulting topositive, like what is the
positive out of this?
And Churchill said it bestright, he says never let a good
tragedy go to waste, becausewhen, when you have, life hit
you and, like I said, yeah, Ilistened to a lot of Alan Watts
(50:37):
and he's a philosopher in theseventies, brilliant guy, but
you know, none of us gets out oflife unscathed.
Like we all gotta put our pantson.
We all deal with, with deathand loss and hardship.
But you know, you just chooseyou.
You have the choice either todefault to positive or negative,
and and positive.
I I'm here as proof that itworks.
(51:01):
Yeah, it definitely works.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
And I agree wholeheartedly and that's what
I'm trying to teach with theasset mindset you are your
greatest asset.
Realize that, own your powerand, until the next time, stay
positive people.
God bless, we'll see you nexttime.
Welcome to the Asset Mindset Podcast.
Today we get a very specialguest, brandon Webb, soft rep,
crate club author, new YorkTimes bestseller keynote speaker
.
I could go on and on right,brandon, but you know you SEALs
don't like to brag too much, soI won't say I won't have no
comment on that one.
(00:31):
But it's absolutely great tohave you here.
I'm honored to have you as aguest and for you to share your
mindset and we can talk aboutsuccess, things in life,
overcoming obstacles, all thegood things that I think help
people create an asset mindsetand for them to be successful in
life.
So why don't you share a littlebit about your story?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Sure, I'll try and be as brief as possible.
So you know, I guess I'll justshare my story how I became a
SEAL and then talk about my owntransition to entrepreneurship
and as a writer.
But I'm one of the unlikelySEALs.
Probably my parents werehippies.
(01:12):
I'm actually born in Canada, soI think I was the first Navy
SEAL that was from Canada.
But I have dual citizenship.
My mom is American.
I grew up in a sailboat.
No television, just books,homeschooled on and off.
So it was quite a shock when Itold my parents at a young age I
(01:33):
want to join the military.
They just were like where'sthis coming from?
I was as a kid because I livedon and off the family sailboat.
I was at the harbor all thetime.
We had bought a boat inVancouver, canada, and
ultimately sailed it down to theUS, seattle and then California
(01:57):
where we lived on the boat forabout five years and did a bunch
of cruising in Mexico and theSouth Pacific, of cruising in
Mexico and the South Pacific.
You know I, just by being inthat environment, I ended up
getting a job when I was 12years old, working on a scuba
diving boat for summers,basically like a gopher kid.
(02:17):
You know I would do everythinglike do people's laundry, fill
up scuba tanks, pull the anchor.
I was getting moreresponsibilities as I was.
I worked this boat until I was18.
But when I was about to turn 16,my father says we're going on
this huge trip to New Zealandand the first time I went on a
(02:39):
long trip with my family was wespent about a year in Mexico and
Baja.
And it was I was 11, sailing,diving, spearfishing.
But at 16 I had had a good jobon this dive boat.
I was making good money.
Like many 16 year olds orpeople who about to turn 16, I
wanted to get a car, my driver'slicense and chase girls with my
(03:01):
buddies.
I didn't want to go on this.
I don't want to go on this tripwith my dad.
So I reluctantly went and wesailed from Ventura, california,
all the way down to Mexico andto Acapulco, where I turned 16.
And Acapulco is a jumping offpoint to the South Pacific
because of the trade winds andyou can make one tack, so you
(03:22):
can essentially just sailstraight across because of the
trade winds and you can make onetack, so you can essentially
just sail straight across.
And um 30 days at sea.
We, we finally hit landfall andI told my dad it's like we need
to switch the main anchor onthe bow of the boat, uh, for a
bruce anchor which holds betterin reef.
My dad's like, yeah, you knowwhat you're talking about.
Well, first night we druganchor and being the humble 16
(03:46):
year old, I was like I told youso.
And in about three weeks laterwe went.
We made it to Tahiti and my dadand I had another argument and
he kicked me off the boat.
He's like I've had enough ofyour shit.
Maybe you should leave.
And you know you didn't want togo in on this trip anyway.
(04:06):
Maybe it's best if you callyour old boss and see if you
could get, you know, a spot onthe boat.
And so I did.
I called Bill, who on the diveboat piece it was called out of
Ventura Harbor, and I say youknow, bill, can I get my job?
And he's like, yeah, I'dfinished my junior year already
on independent studies.
So I looked on this messageboard in Tahiti and there was a
(04:29):
catamaran sailing to Hawaii andsaid you know, I went and
interviewed for the job and Igot it and I grabbed the
backpack and a hundred bucks andoff I went and I've been on my
own ever since.
So you know, I got back.
I flew Comair back to California, back to LA, from Hilo, hawaii,
(04:54):
finished school and originallyI wanted to be a fighter pilot,
like that was my whole dream.
But because of my divingexperience and then I,
practically speaking, I realizedmy grades weren't that great.
I wasn't going to make it intothe Naval Academy.
I was on my own.
I didn't have money for college.
I really didn't know about theROTC.
I was kind of intimidated by theprocess and ended up reading a
book Rogue Warrior, by DickMarcinko, the guy who created
(05:20):
SEAL Team 6.
And I was like, wow, I can dothis.
This is challenging and it'skind of my way out.
And the owner wanted to make mea dive boat captain.
But I was like, no, that's notthe life for me and so I joined
the Navy.
At the time you couldn't joindirectly to the SEALs, you had
to take.
I think it's similar like theSF and the Army you have to do a
(05:44):
regular job in the Navy, thenyou could apply for SEAL.
So that's what I did.
I was an air crew, search andrescue swimmer and sonar
operator in H-60 helicopters,did two deployments on aircraft
carriers one on the AbrahamLincoln, one on the Kitty Hawk,
and then finally they let me goto SEAL training, because my
(06:06):
first package was denied.
They're like we need you.
This is an undermanned job inthe Navy and we're not going to
let you go and I'm like son of abitch.
But of course I said I'm notgoing to reenlist unless you
send me to BUDS, which is a SEALtraining selection.
So I went to B to buds in 98,graduated with class 215.
(06:28):
We, like 23 of us, made it outof 220 something went to seal
team three, which was my firstchoice at the time before 9-11.
The only two teams that werereally getting work were team
four, which was responsible forsouth america, so they're doing
a lot of like counter drugoperations, and SEAL team three,
cause we're responsible for theMiddle East, and they were
(06:49):
doing a lot of likenon-compliant ship boardings,
like boarding those ships thatwere smuggling oil out of Iraq
under the UN sanctions.
That's when Saddam Hussein wasstill in power.
So I wanted to work.
I was like I don't want to, youknow, join to be a weekend
warrior.
I want to do the job.
So I went to three.
I did two platoons there.
(07:09):
Um, both platoons uh, weregreat.
My first platoon was with GlennDoherty who was and it was one
of my best friends.
He died in Benghazi.
He was one of the seal, theseals that died in that movie 13
hours, the seals that died inthat movie 13 Hours.
If anyone's seen that, it wasan amazing platoon.
I got back, had planned to stayin Gulf Platoon but wanted to
(07:30):
reenlist tax-free.
And the ops boss, kevin, saidlook, I'll only let you go to
the Middle East, which is atax-free zone, if you go to this
platoon, echo Platoon.
And everybody knew I don't knowif you've experienced this in
the ODA, but Echo platoon waslike the worst platoon at SEAL
Team 3.
(07:50):
Everybody knew about Echoplatoon.
I was like fuck, not thatplatoon.
They had just failed their ORE,which stands for Operational
Readiness Exam, which is like afinal mission that certify you
to deploy.
And kevin was like, look, we'rerebuilding the platoon.
It's kind of a shit show, butyou're a good guy and I want you
(08:12):
to be part of the rebuild andyou'll get to re-enlist.
I I probably wouldn't have doneit and switched, but I I had a,
my first son was on the way andlike an extra 10,000 or $7,000,
whatever it was in tax savingswas huge for me as an E5.
(08:32):
And so I made the dealinstantly, regretted it.
I remember we were doing a fastrope.
I was like this in the secondhelo and the first rope goes
down and one of these guys whichwe ended up shit canning later
he ropes down and I see his gunisn't clipped into his, his HR
and that's the gut, his MP5actually tumbles and falls on
(08:54):
the deck of this boat.
And I was like this is like thefucking Keystone cops.
And he, like, picked up the gunand like, luckily he didn't go
in the water.
He picked, picked up the gun,like, luckily he didn't go in
the water, he picked it up andran off and, uh, I remember
during the debrief I was likehey, uh, who was that that
(09:15):
dropped the gun?
And my chief was like like what?
But anyway, um, that's a wholenother story for a different day
.
Um, but I ended up going to warwith this platoon and because
9-11 happened and I missed thebirth of my son, he was born on
my Afghan deployment November30th 2001.
I came back was a sniperinstructor, an advanced sniper
instructor.
Then I got recruited to comedown to our basic sniper program
(09:37):
, which was going a massiveoverhaul, not only in the
technology that we use but alsothe way we taught.
We were teaching more like aMarine Corps style course, where
it was kind of like a boot campenvironment we're yelling at
the guys and it was sink or swimmentality and, fortunately
enough, we had a lot of budgetbecause of 9-11 to bring in the
(09:59):
best kind of performance coaches.
And this part of my career madea huge impact on me and, I
think, saved me in my transitionor at least helped me
tremendously, because there wasa big focus on positive mindset
and positive teaching overnegative teaching.
And that's as simple as whenyou're teaching somebody, or
(10:20):
coaching, or even with yourchildren, when you point out all
their mistakes, especially whenthey're a beginner, you're just
programming them for failure,because coaching, or even with
your, with your children, whenyou point out all the mistakes,
especially when they're abeginner, you're just
programming them for failurebecause they don't even know
right.
So, as a sniper example, if I'mtelling um, like johnny kim,
who's now an astronaut, who wasone of my students, if I say,
johnny, you're flinching, stopflinching.
(10:41):
Well, now, all he's thinkingabout is flinching.
His partner is thinking aboutflinching.
Well, now, all he's thinkingabout is flinching.
His partner is thinking aboutflinching.
And anyone that heard me saythis is thinking about flinching
.
And I'm giving the whole classa complex rather than just give
them the corrective input Likehey, johnny, calm down, take a
deep breath, make a nice, smoothtrigger pull.
Same kind of desired outcome,but very different way to get
(11:02):
get to get the outcome, andpositive always wins over
negative.
So we did things likevisualization techniques, how to
push out negative self-talk.
So we're teaching this to likethe sniper students and a lot of
them remember the first class.
They didn't buy into it.
I was giving my students liketapes on visualization and
everyone was giving these mystudents a hard time because you
(11:24):
have like four studentsassigned to each instructor,
like your instructor studentmentor program we had and my
students at the first shootingtests were the first ones to
score perfect hundreds.
They did 100, 95, 100 on boththe snaps and movers and unknown
distance tests because theyeach had to shoot one as a spot
(11:46):
and then everybody wanted thosetapes or the cds.
After that you know back backwhere we had cds, um, but it was
amazing because also, we had aalmost a over 20 failure rate
and when we made these changes,uh, the way we we taught as
positive over negative, wetaught them all these techniques
that were used at the toplevels of sports and the
(12:08):
Olympics.
The graduation rate went to, orthe failure rate went to, zero,
almost zero, and just stayedthere.
Like it was rare for us to faila student at that point and it
was instantly and that reallyleft an impact on me.
(12:49):
No-transcript.
And the sea duty is like asuper high, high tempo operation
.
Well, the instructor tour wasconsidered sea duty and I and
I'd given up my shore tour,which is like a cushy seal
instructor job.
You work like three days a weekand finish with your master's
degree.
I'd given that up to be asniper instructor because a guy
(13:13):
from SEAL Team 6, bob, recruitedme and then when I got down
there, bob promoted me andretired and he's like here's the
keys to the course.
He's like I'm making you thecourse manager and I'm like, oh
my, my god, which was anincredibly rewarding job, but I
was burned out.
(13:33):
When it came time for me tore-up, I extended a year and
then I said you know what?
I just I'm burned out and so Idecided to leave.
In 2006 I did a little bit ofcontracting, but it was mainly
focused on entrepreneurship.
Both of my parents wereentrepreneurs and became
successful on their own accordlater in life, but I knew I
wanted to be my own boss.
(13:53):
I had my first startup crashand burn in the 2008 financial
crisis.
Same time, my wife was like,hey, I don't want to be married
to you anymore.
Like you put me through hell asa seal and now this
entrepreneurship is like just asbad.
So I was like no wife, kids are.
(14:14):
You know?
I was left alone in a house allby myself in san diego.
Kids and wife moved away, lostmy entire life savings I had had
invested in apartments becausewhen I was on my instructor tour
, I had about half a milliondollars saved up for a new chief
E7, quite a bit of money in themilitary and I lost everything.
(14:37):
I had no life savings, nofamily, family and this is the
part where I either jump off thebridge or I remember all these
kind of mental managementtechniques that I taught to
snipers and I was like, look, Ijust need to find the positive
in all of this.
And so I started changing mymindset.
I was like, okay, well, I havea good relationship with my ex,
(14:59):
which is great.
I have a ton of valuablelessons I learned in this four
years of me starting a business,not even knowing how to read a
profit and loss or any financialstatements.
So I gained financial literacy.
I knew how to raise money viadebt or equity, and I just
(15:21):
started thinking totallydifferent about the experience.
And then things started to looka lot better.
And so at this time I was alsowriting for magazines and the
SEALs were just starting tobecome popular, mainly because,
you know, you got Luttrell,wrote Lone Survivor, and then I
think that book did really well.
(15:41):
I think that book did reallywell.
And then, for whatever reason,the SEALs just started becoming
all over the place in the media,right With these high profile
raids from you know count backfrom the Bin Laden mission.
It was the Captain Phillipsrescue, all these other things,
and it was like SEAL, seal, seal.
So everybody, if you had a andI was like one of the few SEALs
(16:04):
like me, chris, and had a and Iwas like one of the few SEALs
like me, chris, and Latrell, wegot out kind of mid-career and
so our peer group was stillactive duty and we were able to
do very well with the books thatwe wrote.
But I was writing for magazinesand then I was someone said, oh,
you should write a book.
And then Latrell was like man,you got a crazy story, you
should write a book about yourtime into the SEAL team.
(16:28):
So I ended up getting an agentwhich took a while and then sold
the book for a nothing advance,and then the book did really
well.
That was the Red Circle, and atthe time I had to get a real
job.
I lost my first business.
I went to work for L3 for twoyears to kind of build back my
nest egg and then, as the bookwas doing well, I was blogging
(16:53):
for militarycom and running agear blog for them and I was
like you know what?
I think there's all thisinterest in the world of special
ops.
Let me start a site, and thatwas soft rep.
And soft rep was initiallystarted just to be a culture
blog, like talk about themissions and the training and
the weapons.
(17:13):
But what I found out was I hadan army sf guy that was in one
of my first writers.
It was a great writer, jackmurphy.
He was like hey man, I just sawthis thing on CNN and they got
it totally wrong, like that'snot what happened in Afghanistan
, and so he would write it upand we started breaking news and
then the New York Times iscalling us like who the hell are
(17:34):
you guys?
How do you know this?
It's just like we had all thisinsider access and sources from
our military experience, thatwould take a reporter like 20
years to develop.
And so that was when soft repturned into a new site.
And then I had to figure outokay, how do I, how do I
ethically run a new site?
(17:54):
Cause we used to even do satire, like I don't know if
everyone's seen the duffel blog,but they have some funny, funny
stories, right.
But I realized you can't be,you can't be an onion and then
report the real news at the sametime.
People are going to freak out.
So, yeah, softrip, I still runthat today with a few other
sites.
13 years I started the CrateClub, which you mentioned.
(18:17):
That was an e-commerce site.
I sold that in the pandemicbecause we had massive supply
chain issues.
I learned a lot of lessons inthat business.
It was a great business.
There's times I wish I stillhad it, but yeah, that's my
story.
My kids are grown in college.
I have a son.
(18:37):
He has a tech startup withartificial intelligence.
My daughter is about tograduate from Goldsmiths in
London, which is a design school, and my youngest just graduated
high school and the kids areamazing and their mom is a great
mom.
We've developed a really good,like positive co-parenting
(18:58):
relationship.
I get along with her husband,so it's it's, it's it's.
You know, it's been achallenging ride all around,
like we've.
We've all as parents we face.
You know everything drugs, youknow all sorts of shit but, um,
we have amazing kids.
So I'm really thankful for thatand, yeah, have a good life.
So I, to finish it up, I movedto portugal two years ago.
(19:21):
I still go to new york, but I'mhere in Lisbon largely because
I get asked all the time whyLisbon, portugal has a tax
treaty with America and it'slike a lot of people, they live
in a tax-friendly state becausethey don't want to pay state
income tax.
Well, portugal, I don't pay anystate income tax.
I just pay my federal tax andthat's it.
(19:41):
So it's a tax friendlyenvironment, the weather's great
and a dollar goes far here.
So I'm like really happy withPortugal and yeah, that's my
story.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
That's an amazing story, Absolutely amazing.
That's quite the intro, soimagine the full thing.
You need to read the book redcircle.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
You'll get more.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
But, yeah, absolutely , Anybody that's listening.
Please pause, go in thedescriptions, check more out.
On Brandon, We'll have all thelinks links to his books, links
to SoftRep, all the wonderfulthings.
If you want to dive deeper.
The thing I would like to divein with you is you have seen a
lot of different obstacles,challenges in life military-wise
(20:26):
, family life, business life.
So I talk about people that aresuccessful, have this certain
mindset and take ownership.
I deem it the asset mindset.
Can you share?
Overcoming those militarychallenges, those life
challenges?
What are you able to do in yourmind?
(20:47):
That's different from a lot ofpeople that would break them.
So can you share yourtechniques or your habits or
what it is?
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I think I think early on and really like leaving home
at 16 and I was scared like youknow, I talk about it in the
red circle I I cried myself tosleep the first three nights,
like terrified, like what thehell did I just do?
I'm on this strange boat awayfrom my family, sailing to
hawaii, um, but I think at yourealize that it kind of builds,
(21:20):
builds resilience oftentimeswhen I talk about I wrote a book
called Mastering Fear.
You know the stories and thescenarios we invent in our heads
are often, you know, 10 to 100times worse than that actuality,
right?
So I was fortunate enough tolearn a lot of these lessons at
a very young age.
So I think, early on, when andwhen people would tell me I mean
(21:45):
I don't know if you experiencedthis when you say it's good, I
think very good thing to haveyour goals and actually state
them out loud.
And when you tell people I wantto, I want to try to become a
SEAL, and I would say 90% of thepeople I interacted with, who I
actually really cared about,they're like that's impossible,
why, why are you going to dothat?
(22:06):
And I'm like wow, like thanksfor the words of encouragement
there and you know, there werevery few people who actually
believed in me, and so I just Ithink one of the things that
helped me is I believed inmyself and sometimes, like you
can love somebody.
They could be a good friend orfamily member, and who knows
(22:29):
what the hell is going on intheir heads and they're dealing
with their own insecurities ormaybe sometimes they're coming
from a position of care.
But a lot of times you findyourself in these situations.
Maybe it's a career change, youwant to give up your nine to
five and buy a franchise or gointo business.
People will just shit all overyou, you know, and like people
(22:49):
that matter to you, and so it'stough to take that I remember,
similar to I just watched thatSpaceX documentary on Netflix.
I mean here Elon Musk like ittook over 20 years for SpaceX to
be successful.
You had Buzz Aldrin, which isthe first man on the moon,
testifying at Congress how Elonwas out of his mind in a farce
(23:13):
for wanting to reland a firststage rocket.
He's like impossible, this isnever going to work.
So imagine a guy like that whohad to go through all that stuff
.
How tough it must've been forhim.
But he, he just believed and Ithink that's that's something
that that really sometimes youhave to believe in yourself.
I mean, I think it's importantto surround yourself with really
(23:35):
good people.
I think that's you know mostpeople know that by now like you
are, you hang out with, butsometimes you got to just
realize, hey, I, I have what ittakes and I got to believe in
myself.
So I think that was a big one,you know.
I think back to my challenges inthe military.
(23:56):
I had a really terrible boss asa SAR swimmer.
I thought you know myphilosophy and I still believe
in this is whatever job you do,do it to the best of your
ability and make a goodimpression on day one and on the
last day through that wholeperiod.
We've all been in these jobswhere people come in and they do
(24:16):
a good job the first week andthey start slacking off right.
The one thing I learned as aSEAL is you got to earn it every
day, because I saw guys thatwere in the SEAL teams four or
five years, even my swim buddy.
He had a bad day and lipped offas a new guy and he got sent
back to the fleet and he had togo through SEAL training all
over again.
So it made a big impression onme.
(24:37):
I was like, okay, you've got toreally bring your A game every
day, you just can't slack off.
But I remember the first timebefore I was a seal, I was
applying to be a seal my secondtime and my philosophy was like,
okay, I'm just gonna do thebest job I can, I'm gonna get
(24:58):
all the qualifications, um, andthen that kind of backfired on
me because I had this, this jerkboss, which sometimes we get,
we, you get a really bad boss.
And this guy was from the south, we were.
I was stationed on the westcoast.
He hated west coast guys likewould make fun of us publicly
with his, with his alabamaaccent and he had he played
(25:19):
favorites he had.
I remember this guy, mendoza,in my shop we used to do logs
and records.
So my secondary duty is I hadto put in the flight hours and
everyone's logbooks and me andthis guy, mendoza, were and I'm
like dude, I just did all mywork in an hour.
Why are you still doing this?
Well, chief thinks I'm workinghard, so he's just dragging it
(25:39):
out, right, and I'm like, whatthe hell?
But anyway, I end up getting myevaluation.
I was an E4, and I was friendswith somebody in admin.
This guy, he told me at lunchhe's like hey, dude, you're
getting screwed on your eval.
And I was like what do you mean?
He's like you've been herealmost three years and you're
(26:02):
getting the same eval as thisnew check-in using E4.
And I was like, are you kiddingme?
It's like, cause I had all thequalifications, like I had more
quals than a lot of E5s and E6sin the squadron, and so I was
like that's bullshit.
So I I actually, when Iremember I got, I got the eval.
This is, this is this does havea happy ending and you'll
appreciate it.
(26:23):
You'll appreciate it as a as afellow military guy.
So I read my email and there'sa little box that says you could
submit a statement.
So I signed it and checked thebox and my chief didn't even
notice.
But two days later he calls mein the office.
He's like Petty Officer Webb.
He's like what the hell are youdoing?
He was like the commandingofficer is asking me for your
(26:45):
statement, for my, for yourevaluation, and I was like, yeah
, I have it right here.
And I handed it to him and hewas just turning all shades of
red and purple.
So we get called in together tothe commanding officer.
Nice, his name was rosa, he hadjust taken over.
Rosa was like, he was like a,the kind of boss you want to go
to war with, right.
So, um, rosa calls me in theoffice, he puts my email in
(27:09):
front of chief carnley and hesays chief, like you've, I've
read pittance or webb'sstatement.
Now what do you have to say?
And he started mumbling andstuttering, he couldn't get a
coherent word out.
And rosa, I remember, looked atme and he's like he's like
pastor webb, I don't know how totell you this, but your chief
(27:29):
maybe doesn't know how to writeyour e-mail.
So he slid a blank e-mail.
He's like you go ahead and fillit in for yourself.
I was like, and I couldn'tbelieve it, because being a
chief in the Navy is a bigfucking deal and for the
commanding officer to do thatwas like unheard of.
And I was like so I, you know,filled in my own e-mail and, man
(27:52):
, I had orders to buds like thenext day, like that chief
couldn't wait to get rid of myass.
I just addressed the facts.
I took the emotion out of itand I was like look, this is the
mark.
It says 4-0, 4-4.
This is back when we were onthe 4-0 eval system.
Now I think it's 5-0.
(28:13):
I said this is what it meansand here are my accomplishments,
and just kept the facts.
But it really taught meimportant lessons.
Sometimes you got to stand upfor yourself and you can't let
emotion get in the way If youthink that facts are on your
side.
Sometimes you got to stick upfor yourself and you can't let
emotion get in the way If youthink that facts are on your
side.
Sometimes you got to stick upfor yourself.
(28:34):
So that was a time.
Fortunately, it paid off and itdid later on in my career, when
I was a sniper course manager,at a very similar situation but
that's an example.
In business I was was fortunate.
Like I said, when I had a reallybig setback, losing everything,
it was the mindset of apositive mindset over negative.
I mean, those negative thoughtsalways creep in, right, we
(28:57):
never can get rid of them.
But to take some time andreally learn some tools, um, and
then you know there's plenty ofbooks out there.
Uh, with winning in mind is agreat book, one of my mentors
who's a gold medalist, lannybasham, who was a he was an army
am you guy won the won the goldmedal.
He used that technique on hisown, techniques on himself to
(29:19):
win gold after after he lost hisfirst big olympics, uh in
munich.
Um, you know it's positive,choosing the positive over the
negative, because it's easy tokind of get in that negative
feedback loop.
But that those mentalmanagement techniques that I
learned and taught to the SEALsnipers and used on my own kids,
(29:41):
used on myself, like that's abig reason.
I think I've had a much bettertransition than a lot of my
peers because I always look forthe positive and I'm telling you
like I've been through a lot ofshit, man.
I've had people steal from me II had my last controller
embezzled three hundred thousanddollars.
I had.
The guy ahead of my productprocurement was a marine corps
(30:04):
guy, very squared squared away.
I served with him in Iraq on acontract for OGA.
He had a drug problem, gothooked on drugs through the VA,
ended up ordering $2 millionwith a worthless fucking product
that was just sitting in mywarehouse.
And then I let him go with thisbig fat severance Cause I'm
(30:27):
like, I cared about him, likedude, get your life together.
The day that severance ended hewent on social media and do
shit all over me and I rememberDakota Meyer, who's a mutual
friend.
Dakota called me.
He's like what the fuck?
Blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like you don't realize,man, this guy has serious
problems.
And he's like, whatever Causethe guy was, they're both
Marines.
So, and Dakota called me acouple of weeks later to
(30:50):
apologize Cause he's like I hadhim to my house in Texas.
It was a disaster.
He's doing drugs in front of mychildren and I was like I told
you so, man.
But but that guy, that guy wasa major reason I had to sell the
crate club because I was in thewhole 2 million.
Covid comes along and our net 60terms.
(31:10):
That means like I'm buying, sayyou know how many.
We had 20,000 subscribers, soI'm buying like a lot of knives,
right.
So I'm cutting a check for like$500,000 for some knives to put
in this month's box and I wasgetting that.
So I would order the knives andhave 60 days to pay for the
knives, right, and that was howour business cashflow model work
(31:32):
.
But now COVID comes along, sonet 60 turns into hey, I
actually want money upfront forthe product.
It's like well, our businessdoesn't work like that.
So, um, and I'm 2 million inthe hole with product they can't
use, uh, so I sold it to uhBattlebox and thankfully they're
(31:59):
doing a great job carrying onthe business.
I've been through a lot of shit,but you have to with a terminal
illness.
So my repayment from mycontroller is when I took off
for a year to spend time with myfather.
This guy steals 300K from melike micro embezzlement from
PayPal.
So I was just like you got tobe kidding me, man.
So you talk to any entrepreneurthat's been around long enough
(32:24):
or business owner.
This stuff isn't like new, likewe've all had business owner.
This stuff isn't like new, likewe've all been, we've all had
to deal with this stuff.
Um, but I would tell you thislike being a business owner, an
entrepreneur, I've been way morestressed out than I was in
combat.
At least, in combat it's justyou, it's you doing a job good
and caring about your teammatesand try not to get shot, right.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
So it's so much simpler.
People don't understand.
I have to live through the dayand don't let any of my buddies
die.
Okay, got it.
That's my mission.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Way easier.
I'm not losing sleep on how tomake payroll this month, so but
yeah, I think I answered some ofthat question.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
No, you did great.
I'll share a quick one of mystories that you said it just
brought back.
You know, when you, when youtalk guys like ourselves, I
hadn't thought of this in years.
But you're talking about your Agame and every day you have to
show up and earn it.
So I'm a cherry, brand new inmy company.
(33:23):
I'm walking in and there's asergeant first class, so and so
I won't embarrass anybody's namehere, but it's in the hallway
and I'm like, hey, where's thisgoing?
Do I need to help?
Or what you know?
They're like oh no, he just gotkicked off the team.
I'm like, whoa, whoa, an E7?
I'm a lowly E5.
And I'm like, ooh, I betterkeep my shot group type If they
kick off a Sergeant First Class,just like all this stuff was in
(33:44):
the.
I don't know exactly whathappened, because I was the
cherry and I kept my mouth shutand didn't ask too many
questions.
But yeah, there's standards andif you want to play in certain
circles or teams, you need tostep up and continually work
every day and try hard yep, thatguy who dropped the mp5.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Actually, when we were in in o Jordan, I remember
Admiral Harwood.
He was a captain then he wasour commodore.
He's definitely an admiral now,but he found out about that and
that this guy, we were preppingour Humvees to go into Kandahar
and he was off fucking aroundflirting with some army girl and
(34:24):
my chief was livid and my chiefwas 5'4.
My chief was like you know,five, four full of piss and
vinegar and actually was one ofone of the seals that blew up
noriega's boat in panama, likeone of the dive pairs, um, just
a kind of a legend in the team.
And chris was limited and thecommodore was like, hey, you
have a problem with this guy, wesend him home right now.
The guy was in e6, packed hisshit back, pull his seal pin and
(34:47):
off you go.
So similar similarcircumstances.
And it does make and this is agood lesson in any type of
organization that's a positivesignal, right, like if a
negative signal signal would beletting someone like this
continue on, because whatmessage does that send to the
rest of the team?
It's like, well, if he can getaway with it, maybe I can just
(35:08):
slack off on this and why put inthe extra effort?
And so these are.
And I went after I had thatCrate Club sale, I went back to
business school at Harvard andthey talked about signaling like
this and it's super importantfor any organization, even a
family like you have to havepositive.
There's positive signals andnegative signals and you need to
(35:29):
make sure you're signaling in apositive way to to to let
everyone know.
This is the kind of behaviorthat gets rewarded and this is
the kind of behavior that gets,that has consequences.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah, I appreciate all the time in parenting with
all my kids, even mysix-year-old right now.
I'm like cause and effect.
What's that you?
Do good things, you get goodthings.
You do bad things, you get badstuff, yeah like bad things and
it can be at any level we share.
we have farm animals, you know,and bad things happen.
This happens.
Well, a door was left open,somebody didn't do their job.
(36:03):
Well, some ducks died, you know, and you'd explain to the kids
and you know there's realconsequences.
So I also just really love howyou talk about the positive
Continually.
You are sharing that.
I talk about that in the assetmindset, how you have to be a
page master, like turn the pagein your mind when you're
focusing on that negative thing.
(36:24):
You have to shift and focus tosomething positive Because if
you're still breathing andyou're still alive, listeners,
there's something positive inyour life that you can look at.
There always is.
Don't get stuck on the negativeand please take a moment to
pause.
Subscribe If you like whatwe're talking about.
Follow us on all the socialmedias YouTube Please check out
(36:48):
everything Brandon's got goingon and follow him as well.
We have everything in ourdetails.
So check that out and sharethis positive message with
people that need it, because weall know we need a little more
positivity and love in the world.
So I gotta say again, thisshift that you have and able to
(37:08):
always go to the positive.
Is there any techniques likeI've heard people say like oh,
I'll think of six things, or oh,I'll do this or that or I'll
reframe.
What do you do when thatnegative thing comes about?
Because it does to everybody.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Yeah, no, it's a good question about, because it does
to everybody.
Yeah, no, it's a good question.
So I mean now, today, me, todayI have as a habit it just
happens right, but it wasn'talways this way.
Like I remember, when I wasgoing through the divorce and
had had the business failure, Ihad to actually write a mantra
like okay, these.
I had to remind myself of thegood things, and that was as
(37:48):
simple as like putting it in myphone and reading it every
morning.
Like I am this.
You know, I've accomplishedthis, I'm a good dad, you know
all the positive things and alittle bit of like aspirational
stuff in there as well.
And if you just pound that intoyour head and you and you, I
had sticky notes in the bathroommirror, so I'm like shaving
reading this stuff.
And that's what it yeah, that'swhat it takes to kind of imprint
(38:09):
like, do a positive imprint andsometimes you have to just
hammer it into your own head andeventually you know you start
changing the way you think.
Now it just comes naturally tome and I do.
I wrote another book calledMastering Fear after teaching my
really close friend Kamal, whowas a successful venture
(38:30):
capitalist and an author as wellHis brother Naval Ravikant a
lot of people know Naval becausehe created AngelList and kind
of a Silicon Valley guru.
I hate that I said that, butit's true.
Everyone loves Naval.
But I taught Kamal how to swimin a week.
(38:51):
And this is a guy that had neverswum in his life and was
panicked in any water situationand it had just been like man,
brandon, can you help me getover this?
Can you recommend a swim school?
I remember he was telling me hewas helping Tim Ferriss edit
Tools of Titans in New York andthere was like a pool party and
he was really like embarrassedto get invited to swim and he's
(39:12):
like, no, I don't, I can't swim,you know, like a guy in his 40s
saying that.
So I said look, man, let meteach you.
And at first he was like no way, dude, like you're just going
to throw me and tie my hands andlegs up like those seal videos.
I was like no man, let me juststart.
We're going to take small steps.
And I used the kind of samemental management techniques
(39:34):
that I learned as a sniperinstructor and used them on
Kamal.
And he's like dude, you changedmy life.
It's like I can swim now and Iactually I remember on Monday a
guy that was terrified of thewater and on Friday doing
cannonballs in the pool and hewas like you changed my life.
He's like you got to write abook about this.
So I wrote Mastering Fear and Ihave a lot of techniques as well
(39:57):
in there, but the big ones arewhat I share.
Right, you just got tosometimes pound it into your own
head to shift your mindset.
But the good news is, once youmake a habit of it, you don't
even have to do that.
It just naturally comes in myhead and sometimes, you know I
do I think about bad things thatcan happen and I'm like, okay,
where's the positive in this?
(40:17):
Like how am I going to reframethis in a positive way for me
and my friends and family?
Because it's just the way mymind works now and it's proven,
proven, like over and over again.
Um, you know it's, and it's soimportant, especially with kids.
I read somewhere there was astudy that for every like one
(40:40):
negative input a kid has in hislife, whether it's a
well-meaning teacher that sayssomething fucked up or a coach,
it takes like five positivethings to wipe that one out,
like that did a big researchstudy.
Um, so it's, it's so importantto to you know it's.
You have to be a realist but atthe same time, like you know,
(41:00):
developing a positive mindsetand then realizing, sometimes we
carry our own bullshit withthis I'm.
I remember another story when Iwas taking my kids skiing in, uh
, squaw valley.
My son grayson has always beenwhat kind of the?
He's the baby of the family.
He's been the kind of the rebel.
He was five and he didn't wantto ski like the rest of us.
(41:23):
You want to snowboard.
And here he is about to just hopin this huge mud puddle and I'm
about to scream at him.
I'm like no, you know, I justbought you new ski gear for
Christmas.
But then I stopped myself in myhead and I was like no, who
cares?
Like, if that's fun to him.
Why do I give a shit?
He's going to hop in this mudpuddle, like why?
Why am I stopping him?
(41:44):
And I was like dude, knockyourself out.
And he's like smashing all overlaughing.
We all started laughing and I'mlike, but it's like a small
example of how parents cansometimes just quickly react to
something that's really sillyand like force a kid to not do
it Right, and it's like reallywhat the hell does it matter?
You know that this kid is goingto jump in the freaking.
Let them jump in the mud.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
It's a kid man, a kid .
Let them have their childhood,you know.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
I like the saying I don't know you might've heard
this when you have children andthey start making you mad, fast
forward to your 80-year-old selfand then watch that kid do that
and would you yell at them orwould you just be in admiration
and grateful for the time youhad together and I'm like, wow,
that was very powerful asparenting.
(42:33):
So I try and do that sometimeswhen I see behavior or things
going on or like oh, you'remaking a mess, and then I'm like
you know what?
Do I really care about thatmess?
Yeah, look how happy you are.
Look at the kind of race you'redoing yeah, that, and that
applies to many things.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Right, it's like what does your 80 year old self
think about this?
Or what would you, you know,have wish you had done?
You know before you, you'reyour 80-year-old self, but
that's a super powerful one.
The other thing and I don'tmean to turn this into a
parenting podcast, but it'smindset, it's all of it, the
(43:11):
real, and this applies for life.
I actually learned this atbusiness school because I
considered myself a goodnegotiator before I went to
business school and then Irealized how complex the
negotiation process is, and onething we did was map everything
out.
So just take a simple realestate transaction and think
about all the parties that areinvolved in buying a house.
(43:32):
Right, you have yourself, maybeyour wife, those two parties on
one side, the sellers, whichmay be one or two people, their
agent, your agent, so that'slike six people with all
different motives and ideas andmotivations.
Right, and you have to likehave you ever like, even in a
(43:54):
real estate transaction, mappedout the motives and incentives?
Because that's important foragents, because they just want
the commission.
They don't give a shit aboutyou, they want to close that
deal and get the commission.
And so map it all out and listout, and sometimes you have to
guess.
What are the motivations of theseller.
Do they want more money?
(44:14):
Do they want to close fast,maybe take less money?
Map it all out and then draw aline where the price is and then
figure out okay, this is myabsolute highest number that I'm
going to pay for this house andthis is my bottom line, where
I'd like to be.
And then somewhere in themiddle is this zone of
possibility right?
But people don't even do thatin these, the basics of most
(44:38):
negotiations.
So and there's much more to itand one of the best books I've
read on negotiation has neversplit the difference and I'll
tell you I was an ass about it.
I looked at that book and I'mlike what does some FBI guy know
right about negotiation?
And boy was I humbled when Iread it.
It was also a reminder like getout of your own bullshit.
(44:59):
Sometimes that book wasincredible, but my point is I
remember it was also a reminderlike get out of your own
bullshit.
Sometimes that book wasincredible, but my point is, I
remember I was writing a chapterin the parenting book I'm
working on now on discipline,and I remember my youngest got
suspended from school.
My ex called me.
We had this conversation.
It was all about okay, we'regoing to drop the hammer on this
kid, right, like how can he getthrown out of middle school at
(45:22):
seventh grade?
This is terrible.
And we were ready to throw thebook at him.
And I don't know if it was meor my ex, but we had this
amazing psychologist that helpedus through our divorce.
But I think it was me that saidlook, maybe let's talk to Dr
Baker and see if she has anycoaching techniques.
And so she was like look, yourson is like he's, you know,
(45:43):
between 12 and 15.
It's one of the toughest timesfor boys.
They're going through puberty.
She's like you need to get tothe root cause of this behavior.
And so when we and we're like,no, that's great advice.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
So we actually were like how much is the root cause?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Well, yeah, well, because you hear suspended and
you want to drop the hammer onthe kid Right.
So I actually flew to Oregonand sat down.
I was like what's the problem,buddy?
Like what's going on?
And it turns out, after wepeeled the layers of the onion
back, he had his homeroomteacher, had embarrassed him
terribly in front of the wholeclass and so he had this like
(46:21):
antagonistic relationship withthe homeroom teacher.
And this woman was a nightmare,like we found out she had been
like, she had, you know, half adozen complaints against her.
The principal even said yeah,she's a, she's kind of difficult
, but I have no choice, we'reshorthanded teachers.
She had, I'll tell everyone she.
She had him stand up in frontof the class and started
(46:43):
berating him for being a victimof white privilege.
And this is a white womanyelling at a like a 12 year old
kid, embarrassing him in frontof an entire class.
And so of course, this kid'sgonna act out right, ordering
pete uber, eats pizza, pizza tothe classroom like Spicoli and
Fast Times, rich Monat.
(47:03):
I mean, he got suspended and Iwas like, at the end of it, when
the dust settled, his mom and Itook his side, we pulled him
out of school, homeschooled himfor a year and then put him in a
different school and he wentfrom Fs and Ds to B plus average
, to like B plus average andjust graduated got a university
at Oregon, but that.
(47:24):
So now I like I love checklistsbecause I'm a pilot and a SEAL,
right so in military guys.
So I'm like at the end of thischapter I give a little detailed
checklist.
Like here are the things likeare you having emotional
reaction, yes or no?
Like give this like parentchecklist so they can take all
the emotion out of it and get tolike the root cause of the
situation.
(47:45):
And I think this applies inmany things, right, like in life
when something blows up arelationship, it's a good
analytical tool to kind of resetand make sure that you're
approaching things from like acentered emotional state,
because it's so easy as a parentto just blow up and want to
throw the book at these kids.
And in reality we could havepushed our son away.
(48:06):
He could have got into drugs,he could have went a totally
different path.
But we like pulled him in closeand said okay, son, what's the
problem?
Like really, what's botheringyou here?
And when he told us this and weverified it.
I was like you got to bekidding me.
Like what teacher says this toa 12 year old boy, you know, in
front of an entire classroom ofkids.
(48:27):
So anyway, parenting rant overassess.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
I tell people stop all the time when I'm trying to
help them.
Let's stop.
Think, observe, plan, then plan.
Don't do knee-jerk reactions,don't get emotional, let your
emotions run wild with things.
Yes, acknowledge your emotions,acknowledge the other person's
emotions, but don't let themmake the decision.
Use your brain, step back,observe, and that's what you did
.
You said it right there, likehey, peeling back the onion, you
(49:04):
found the truth.
And then what happens?
When you get to the truth, thenyou can deal with it.
Otherwise, you're never goingto fix the problem.
So that's great and I thinkthat's a fantastic tool, a
checklist for people.
It just keeps it simple, stupid.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Yeah, I love checklist too, man, I was the
engineer log guy on my audio.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
So I mean check, we got this, we got that you're in
my generation, man.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
They're the little green books, right?
Speaker 1 (49:30):
oh, yeah, yeah, green book yeah, yeah, we're born
very close.
Yeah, you're 74 I'm 75, so youknow I'm turning 50 yeah, but um
man, this is just fantastic.
Things are going, and quick.
I don't want to cut it off yet,but we are coming to the end,
so please like, follow,subscribe the asset, mindset,
share.
Check out Brandon Webb and allthe stuff he's doing soft rep.
(49:53):
Check out his book Red Circleand go in the description.
You'll find all the informationyou want.
But before we go, I'm going toask you to leave one nugget, one
solid nugget that you wouldlike to share, that you've
learned in all your coaching,sniper stuff, parenting,
(50:13):
whatever.
What would be the one technique, or maybe habit, that you'd
like?
Speaker 2 (50:17):
the audience to gain and be aware of.
I mean, honestly, we talkedabout it quite a bit but I think
you know, always defaulting topositive, like what is the
positive out of this?
And Churchill said it bestright, he says never let a good
tragedy go to waste, becausewhen, when you have, life hit
you and, like I said, yeah, Ilistened to a lot of Alan Watts
(50:37):
and he's a philosopher in theseventies, brilliant guy, but
you know, none of us gets out oflife unscathed.
Like we all gotta put our pantson.
We all deal with, with deathand loss and hardship.
But you know, you just chooseyou.
You have the choice either todefault to positive or negative,
and and positive.
I I'm here as proof that itworks.
(51:01):
Yeah, it definitely works.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
And I agree wholeheartedly and that's what
I'm trying to teach with theasset mindset you are your
greatest asset.
Realize that, own your powerand, until the next time, stay
positive people.
God bless, we'll see you nexttime.
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