June 2, 2025 • 43 mins
In this powerful episode of The Asset Mindset Podcast, host Daniel Fielding sits down with Ruben Ayala, a former Army Special Forces officer and successful entrepreneur, to explore what it really means to own your journey and live with intention.
Ruben shares how he transformed early life challenges as an immigrant into fuel for building an extraordinary path of service, resilience, and leadership. From combat deployments to launching purpose-driven ventures, Ruben walks listeners through his philosophy of mental toughness, legacy-building, and rejecting the victim mentality.
Whether you’re facing a personal crossroads or aiming for the next level of performance, this episode delivers hard-won wisdom on shifting your perspective, mastering your mindset, and stepping into your full potential.
Subscribe now on Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts—then like, share, and review to help others adopt the Asset Mindset.
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Asset Mindset Podcast
01:51 Overcoming Early Challenges
05:51 Turning Disadvantages into Advantages
09:09 The Power of Mindset
11:40 Overcoming Victim Mentality
19:35 Luck, Talent, and Hard Work
24:08 Staying Outside Your Comfort Zone
26:55 Creating a Legacy
31:35 The Importance of Ownership
32:56 Seeing Problems as Opportunities
37:10 Building Self-Confidence
Connect with Daniel on social media!
LinkedIn: Daniel Fielding
Instagram: the_asset_mindset
Facebook: The Asset Mindset
Learn more at:
Follow Ruben and Triple Nikel on Social media today!
Linked: Ruben Ayala
Instagram: triple_nikel
Website: triplenikel.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Asset Mindset Podcast, Ruben Ayala.
It's great to have you here,brother.
I can't wait to talk to youabout your mindset and what
you've done to help change theworld and make it a better place
, and all the things that you'reworking on.
So thanks for coming and beingon the Asset Mindset Podcast.
And why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, dan, I appreciate you reaching out and
having me on the show.
You know you and I go way backgeez, almost 20 years now, which
is amazing.
You haven't changed much.
I have a full gray beard, youdon't I'm jealous.
And Denny behind the scenes.
You know we all come from thesame group in Special Forces.
(00:52):
So you know, to me this is youknow this is sort of a
homecoming.
Anytime we can get together andwe can talk.
So I know it's therapeutic foryou, it's therapeutic for me and
us being able to share ourjourney.
So quick background on meformer Army Special Forces
officer Dan and I we servedtogether in the same company and
(01:13):
you know now we're businessowners and you know we've
matured as men, we have familiesand you know we're out here
doing the dad life thing now andsharing our experiences.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Oh, fantastic, great to have you All right.
So I'm going to dive right in,because you know SF guys, we
like to do that right away.
So what was the single hardestmoment in your life where you
actually realized you either,like, are going to break down
and have to let go, or you gotto step it up?
And what concepts from theasset mindset change that
outcome?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Tough question Right off the bat.
Expect nothing less.
You know, I got to take it backto day one.
I would say my toughest momentwas probably when I first came
to the United States.
I didn't know English, I was inan ESL program and it was a new
environment for me.
I didn't quite understand theAmerican culture.
(02:09):
For those who aren't familiarwith me, I was born in Puerto
Rico and raised in Puerto Rico,and when my mother and I came to
the United States, I wasimmediately placed in ESL
classes with a bunch of kidsthat were from Mexico and we got
bullied a lot.
And that particular day we weregetting bullied really hard and
(02:33):
kids were coming in yelling LaMigra and I didn't know what
those things meant.
And I was confronted almostdaily and it was at that point
that I had to make a decisionlike, hey, you know, I'm in a
new country, learning a newculture, learning a new language
, and I got to lock in it's youknow, sink or swim, and without
(02:55):
having life skills to be able tocounteract that.
You know, to me that wasdifficult.
I always think back about thosedays.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
So yeah, Now, I love that sink or swim concept.
So you realized in your mindlike hey, I got to do one or the
other and you decided to swim.
So what helped you swim?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
What best helped me swim was, uh was probably my
grandmother.
You know she was.
She was a mentor for me earlyon.
Um, my mother and mygrandmother and myself, we, we,
we came to the united statestogether and we all were
learning english together and itwas her with a constant foot in
my ass telling me hey, you know, I'm in my 60s, you are gonna
(03:45):
have to live this for the bulkof your life and you need to
figure this out.
You can't go back to where wecame from you, just you can't
drive, you can't fly a plane,can't drive a boat.
So either you figure it out oryou don't.
And you know that was, that wasmy first shock and awe moment
as a, as a young man.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Well, that's powerful .
So even then, at a young age,you were realizing the people
around you are really important,absolutely.
She was able to help mentor you.
So what are some of the thingsthat she really instilled upon
you that became a foundation foryou to grow and establish into
the person you are today?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
To.
To sum it up, I would say mygrandmother really started the
foundation of having me examinethat you are going to need to
assimilate as best as you can toyour environment.
So us, as Green Berets,assimilate as best as you can to
(04:47):
your environment.
So us, as Green Berets, ouroperational awareness is our
watchword, and that's somethingthat she instilled in me from
very early on.
We are from a certainenvironment, we're in a new one.
You need to learn theenvironment that you're in.
You don't have to forget whereyou're from, but you need to
learn how to assimilate andlearn how to navigate within it.
And that was probably her mainlesson, given all of her life
(05:13):
experiences that at the time Ididn't quite understand.
You know, I look that it isnagging, but looking back at it
now I realize that she was, shewas mentoring me from early on.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Now, that's fantastic to have that, that support at
such a young age.
So with the asset mindset,teaches us to turn adversity
into an advantage.
So can you share, like you arenow, about the time that, hey,
that seemed like a disadvantage,and that disadvantage you were
able to turn and make it into anasset.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, you know, something close to home that we
can all relate to is and I'llshare a story how I got into SF.
You know, assessed to go tospecial forces, I went into
(06:10):
selection.
Out of year group.
I was originally commissionedas an infantry officer and then
transitioned to signal as partof a branch detail program.
I went through the normalpipeline to become a signal
officer and ended up at the 1stof the 10th Special Forces Group
(06:30):
as the Battalion S6.
And I hated it.
I was a horrible signal officer.
I didn't understand theconcepts.
I did good but I didn't enjoyit.
And I realized at that momentthat again, sink or swim, I had
to advocate for myself.
I knew that I had a lot ofthings going for myself.
(06:51):
I deployed, I was in greatshape, tactically proficient.
So when the SOCOM commandercame for a visit, I took it upon
myself to just go to himdirectly and say hey, we are,
we're at war.
You know this is early on inthe GWAT, sf needs officers, put
(07:12):
me in coach.
I know I'll be at a risk and adisadvantage, but that is what's
going to make me prevail.
So by me doing that, it startedthe chain to say who is this guy
.
By me doing that, it startedthe chain to say who is this guy
?
Uh Yala, why is he coming tothe SOCOM commander?
And well, let's give him a shot.
If he's willing to do that, um,we'll send him to selection,
(07:34):
but he can't fail.
He's he can go to the Q course,but he can't fail.
There's no recycles, there'snothing.
If he messes up along the wayat any point, then you know he
becomes a promotion risk andhe's gone.
So for me that was a moment intime where I knew that my
disadvantage of not liking thejob came with heavy risk.
(07:57):
But you know I had confidencein myself to make it happen.
You know I think of those timesfondly and you know I remind
myself of those periods of timewhen it gets tough.
I look back at that moment intime and say, hey, you know you
went through all that ordeal toget where you are.
You know this is easy.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
That's fantastic.
That's a great story, and Ididn't even know that aspect
about you, so I'm even learningsomething.
This is.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I don't, I don't tell people that story too much.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, but uh, you know, I say in my book that your
mind is your greatest weaponand it sounds like you know your
mind in thinking and thedecisions you made is something
that you were able to overcomeand achieve things that you
thought maybe you couldn't, oryou just realized in your mind
(08:46):
you know that I have this power,so you had this happen.
Do you know when it firsthappened, or can you describe
your mindset shift where yourealized your mental toughness?
Or your mindset actually isyour greatest weapon, or
strength.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
That, to me, that's a constant conversation I have
with myself, believe it or not.
You know, every year, everyyear, that that I'm on this
earth.
I I say to myself, man, youknow, you, you really come a
long way as I sit back andreflect.
You really come a long way as Isit back and reflect.
(09:34):
But there's always a challengeright around the corner that's
going to question everythingthat I just told myself.
But I would say when the lightbulb first started to come on
was probably when I was asophomore in college, was
probably when I was a sophomorein college.
You know, I'm the product of.
You know, I failed the ninthgrade.
I was a horrible student.
I didn't apply myself.
(09:55):
I almost failed the eighthgrade.
I failed the ninth grade.
I barely made it out of highschool.
I joined the army right out ofhigh school to just to just do
something.
Um, it was either that or, youknow, get in trouble, go to jail
, whatever.
And when I finally got my mystuff together and went to
(10:15):
college and I started applyingmyself and study, and I said, oh
, holy shit, man, this is whateverybody's been talking about.
You know, if you apply yourself, you can kind of you can kind
of do stuff.
And that's the first momentSome people get that at the
third grade I got it as asophomore in college man, so I'm
a little slow.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Some people never get it, ruben, and that's why we're
here to help them get it.
If they're an adult listening,no doubt.
No doubt you know, becausepeople get stuck, you know, they
get stuck in a victim mentalityand I hate to see that.
You know.
Our motto de oppresseur lebertis to free the oppressed, you
know, or to free from oppression, and I think people oppress
(10:56):
themselves with their own mindand all your listeners out there
.
Like Ruben just said, thestruggle is real.
He still deals with it, I stilldeal with it, but it's
realizing you are your greatestasset and that you can make
changes and you can do it.
So can you share a little bitabout how to overcome, maybe,
victim mentality, because yourbackground, you probably felt
(11:18):
like a victim at times, or youmaybe had excuses because, oh, I
had to.
You know, english is my secondlanguage or whatnot.
So can you help other peoplethat maybe feel like they have
this chip on their shoulder orthis victim mentality?
How do they overcome that andget rid of it?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, and I'll tell you, man, the victim mentality
is, is is an easy trap that wecan all fall into.
I've fallen into it, I, I, Ifall into it all the time.
I think it's just a human.
It's human nature, um,especially when you're at your
low, um, not to be confused withcertain certain people that are
true victims.
(11:58):
So I don't want to diminishthat either.
But for me, reading reallyunlocked that and tapping into
other people's stories, becauseyou can have friends and peers
that you can lean on.
But make no mistake that if youhave friends and peers who
(12:18):
haven't been through thatjourney and overcome their
personal obstacles or demons,they're not going to be the best
mentors for you.
They're going to give youhorrible advice.
So for me, it was readingbiographies, reading the
journeys of people that I wantedto be like and emulate and see
what they went through andunderstand and put myself in
(12:40):
their shoes or empathize withtheir journey, and there's a
million different ways to dothat.
But reading really unlockedthat feature in my mind to say,
hey, ruben, this guy, he wasable to overcome this.
You can do the same thing.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
No, that makes total sense.
And that's where I talk about.
You know, surrounding yourselfwith positive people and
positive environments.
You know you made a shift andyour positive environment was
getting.
In that book and that mentorthat you found was that person
that autobiography was about, orthe story of them overcoming.
And I want to agree with you.
There are people that arevictimized and have horrible
(13:23):
things happen to them, but oneof the things I've learned
through my studies over theyears is that once you're a
victim okay, you were a victim,but you don't have to stay a
victim, no matter what it is.
And you talk to anybody that'srecovered from horrific things
where they were victimized.
They can overcome and realizethat they don't want to give
(13:44):
that person or that event anymore power.
They want to move on.
Now it's not always easy by nomeans for you, me and even
people that have had it worsebut it can be done.
And can you talk a little bitabout how that changes you?
When you feel like you knowwhat, I don't have to stay a
victim.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You feel like you know what, I don't have to stay
a victim.
Yeah, you know, once you unlockthat, you know we just call it
superpower.
Right, it was a superpower forme to say to get out of your own
head.
You know, when I say that iswhen you don't have mentorship,
when you don't have counsel,whether it be through books,
(14:25):
friends, peers, you're your owncounsel.
Whether it be through books,friends, peers, you're your own
counsel.
And I don't try to be my owncounsel because personally, I'm
going to run off the cliff.
It starts giving you options andwhen I was in graduate school,
(14:48):
I had a professor.
He said whenever you feel likeyou are at your wit's end,
that's a problem, or you areupset with a person, or
something's not going your way.
I want you to think of sixdifferent things, of why it's
(15:11):
not going your way, and I try toapply that in my
decision-making process and thatunlocks other possibilities.
So back to your point.
If you feel so overwhelmed thatyou take that victim mentality
on, whatever the case may be,you start to think of well,
(15:32):
maybe it's because of this, this, this, this.
It opens up a world ofpossibilities that will allow
you to explore other ways tohelp yourself or help yourself
out of a situation that you maybe in.
So that's just a you know TTPfor me and that's something that
I do internally.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
No, that's fantastic.
Can you go a little more indetail, like, say, you wrote
these six things down, maybetalk about one or two and give
an example for the listeners on?
Like all right, this happenedor this is one of the reasons
why I feel like a victim, thenhow would you tackle or approach
that or change that?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, I'll give a real world example.
So, you know, recently, I'm notgoing to name any names, but
you know our company was puttingon an event and you know, you
know, in my mind I have certainenablers, people that are
supporting such event.
(16:28):
And you know, if a certainenabler just drops off in my
mind, I'm thinking, well, theyscrewed me over, and they
screwed me over because of X, yand Z.
But when I push the pausebutton on it, you know, the
(16:49):
mature Reuben takes over.
You know, I got the matureReuben, I got the immature
Reuben on both shoulders.
The mature Reuben says hey, man,let's think of six reasons why
they might have fallen off.
So one could be a schedulingconflict.
Two, it could be a fundingissue.
Three, you know, it could beweather related, who knows, you
(17:16):
know.
So I start going down the lineand it calms me down and it puts
me in a state to be able toopen up the conversation and not
burn a relationship.
So that's just a practicalexercise.
You know, just real worldexample of what I went through
just recently to make sure thatI maintain those relationships
that you know at a technicallevel Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
So that helps you prevent yourself from going into
the knee-jerk reaction orstereotypical reactions that you
might have had because of oh,it's because of this reason or
that.
So it's getting rid ofjudgments and biases absolutely
I like that and I think anybodylistening.
I think you might want to trythat sometime.
(17:54):
If you have this, this feelingwhere you're all of a sudden
like you know what they're doing, this to me because of this, I
think that's good Step back.
You know, have an objective,look at it and it's hard to do.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
It's hard to do.
It takes it takes a lot ofpractice.
I can't even lie and thengrowing.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
That's the point.
Yeah, if you're not growing andlearning, then you're dying, as
they say, and you don't want todo that.
And that's why we're here totalk about a positive mindset
and mental health and makingchanges.
So our listeners because ifyou're listening, you want to
improve, you want to grow, youwant a stronger mindset we're
here trying to build the assetmindset up in you.
You know, and we're sharing ourknowledge because the struggle
is real for everybody.
(18:36):
You know you read my book or youread someone else's book about
mindset.
You don't all of a suddenmagically know everything.
You know, then you have toapply it.
I can tell you how to ride abike, but that doesn't mean you
can just sit on it and do it.
You have to have balance, youhave to go through the
experience.
That's right.
So many believe success is justa luck or a talent and I'm sure
(19:00):
you know people say, oh, you'relucky where you're at now.
Can you explain how luck andtalent really is not just as
easy as some people think it iswhen you get stuff like the hard
work behind the scenes?
In a sense, you know luckfavors the prepared mind.
(19:21):
You know, or we've talked about.
You know you win the battlebefore you go to the battlefield
.
It's an all the PT that you doahead of time, so can you get
into that a little bit?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, good question.
I think about this often and Icame up with an equation.
I'm still developing thistheory, but again, just my
opinion is luck plus talent,plus timing plus experience, and
(19:57):
whenever you take either one ofthose out of the equation, you
may be successful, you may not,and you know.
Just to briefly explain each,you know, because you
highlighted luck and talent,luck being the right place at
the right time, and if you don'thave the experience, you may be
(20:19):
at the right place at the righttime, and if you don't have the
experience, you may be at theright place at the right time,
but not may see the opportunitybecause you don't have the
experience to.
Whereas talent, you can haveall the talent in the world.
We were just talking about yourson.
He's playing four hours a dayon the guitar and if anybody
who's read the Outliers, malcolmGladwell, to become an expert,
if you're not practicing at aminimal of two hours a day, you
(20:43):
are not going to be MichaelJordan, you are not going to be
Jeff Bezos, you're not going tobe any of these successful guys
because you haven't put thatwork in.
So I think luck and talent area huge part of the equation, but
also, too, is you need thatlife experience to be able to
see those moments, um, to beable to take advantage of those.
(21:05):
Uh, and you know, but you knowagain, to me, those are the
things that I've found in myjourney, because, the Lord knows
man, I've missed so manyopportunities simply because I
just wasn't aware or I was in myhead.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
So it happens to all of us.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Do you think hard work because you touched on that
a little bit, putting the timein yeah, do you think hard work
increases luck or increasesopportunities?
Like the ratio changes the moretime you put in.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Maybe, and I just say maybe, because you can be a
completely hard worker, but youmay not be putting yourself in
the spaces to take advantage ofthat Example.
You may be a tremendous this isbasketball.
(21:56):
You may be a tremendous this isjust basketball.
You may be a tremendousbasketball player.
You put into work every day inyour driveway or at your local
gym, but if you aren't takingyourself out of your comfort
zone and maybe joining a localleague, or maybe your parents
(22:18):
aren't putting you in the spaceto compete with others, you're
not going to have theopportunity to have your talent
recognized or the luck to bethere when a scout is there.
So that's why I say maybe, andI think that that's where you
need to have mentors to help youalong the way, to sometimes
(22:40):
place you in those places to berecognized.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
No, yeah, you're absolutely right, and that's why
I talk about.
The second key is, you know,surrounding yourself with
positive people in positiveenvironments, because if you're
not in the right environment,you're not going to be seen.
You know you already talkedabout being a musician and
playing guitar If you're playingin your basement and you're not
getting out there and joining aband or playing on a stage or
(23:06):
being a part of a music festival, yeah, you're never going to
get discovered.
Nobody's going to come knockingon your door and be like hey,
is there a guitar player heresomewhere that can you know,
make a video or join a band?
You need to get out there, andthis also falls back on.
That's why you are yourgreatest asset, because you have
to make changes.
You have to do things that areoutside your comfort zone, and I
(23:29):
love that you brought that up,because I think many of us
nowadays, because we're modernpeople and it's pretty
comfortable to be a human beingright now.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
It is really good.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
You can sit on the couch and watch Netflix and do
whatever it's it's.
It's something that we'veforgotten, and you really get to
become the most successful orhave the most growth when you
get outside of your comfort zone.
So what are some things andtechniques that you do to make
sure you keep pushing and getoutside your comfort zone that
you can share with the listeners?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, I think for me, the number one thing that I do,
I try to do every day, is youis is be physical.
You got to, you got to takecare of your mind physically and
I think you hit the nail on thehead.
Nowadays it's easy to not becomfortable.
(24:25):
I mean, I'm sorry, it's easy tostay comfortable because you
have everything.
You have everything.
But the thing that I do to keepme out of my comfort zone is to
work out, because that's whereit begins.
That's the easiest thing thatyou can do to just make yourself
physically uncomfortable and itjust kind of sets the tone and
(24:49):
you can always refer to that,like I just got through that
workout writing this 30 minutepaper or this blog or doing
whatever it is that you have todo to get to your day, to pay
the bills or take care of thefamily.
It makes it just that mucheasier and it's as simple, as
simple as that 30 minutes get agood sweat on and and just be
(25:10):
you against yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
No, absolutely, and nobody feels worse after working
out.
You might feel sore, butmentally I don't feel worse.
Everybody that I know that'sever worked out.
They may not want to start theworkout but at the end they're
glad they've done it.
I've never met anybody that'slike, oh, after I exercised, I
feel like you know that was awaste of time.
(25:33):
Never ever exercised.
I feel like you know that was awaste of time, never, ever.
So just getting the momentumand moving is very crucial,
absolutely.
Listeners out there, you know,take some of Ruben's advice and
just spend 30 minutes Even.
It doesn't matter how intenseyou get.
Obviously, the more intense thebetter.
Um, but not to the point thatyou tear something.
I can speak from experience onthat one recently.
(25:55):
Don't push too hard.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You know I'm getting older.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Seriously, I just I love some of the nuggets you're
sharing and your background,because so many people get stuck
and you're a prime example ofhow you can get yourself unstuck
, you know, with mentorship fromyour grandmother, with the
books and knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
We've all heard that saying andI think what you're doing is
(26:24):
fantastic.
So can you tell a little bitmore about, kind of like, what
your mission is now and yourmission statement for yourself
in life, because I think a lotof people they're droning in
life, and when I say droningthat's a military thing, you're
just like being a zombie goingthrough life day to day.
You know what is your missionBecause you know what if you
(26:45):
want to feel good in life, youneed to build yourself a mission
and be working towardssomething.
So what are you doing Ruben?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, I think you and I, danny, the guys who you know
we've all served together, orour generation who chose to
serve and spend so much timeaway that we are just now
starting to live our life.
That's the kind of the way I seeit, and my, my mission
(27:13):
statement is pretty simple, justboils down to one word it's
just legacy, and at times whenI'm in my head, if you will, and
have that victim mentality,it's like man, I feel like my.
Sometimes I feel as if my wholeadult life was just lost.
Right, you know, when you sitdown and you integrate into the
(27:34):
civilian space, I equate thingsto okay, yeah, 2005, that was
this deployment, or thisdeployment, you know, or you
know, we were here, we werethere, because I can't relate to
a lot of things that my peerswould insert.
So I feel personally as I'mcreating a legacy for the time
that I've lost, right, wrong orindifferent, it just is what it
(27:57):
is and taking my experiencesthat I've picked up over the
last 30 plus years, and beingable to impart that with those
who may be from the communitiesthat I came from, who didn't
have proper mentors or rolemodels to follow, and so
(28:22):
anything that we do with TripleNickel, black Ops or any of the
properties that we're workingwith.
It's all about that.
It's showing others.
Hey, you can do this too hey,you can do this too.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
So you're, you're, in a mentorship role now.
You are helping, you know, shedlight on a path that you've,
you know, beat down a little bitto make it easier for the next
generation and I think that's socommendable.
I mean, people don't realize howmuch of an effect they can have
on others.
So with the work you're doingand even myself, you know I've
(29:01):
experienced this you think, oh,I'm just doing this and you know
, maybe it'll help a couple ofpeople.
Can you share some of the waysthat living your life this way
now is changing other lives, orsome of the feedback that you've
got from people to helpencourage others to maybe make a
difference?
So what was that like for you,getting feedback from people?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Man, it's, it's awesome.
You know there's some dayswhere you know we, early on, you
know we questioned what we weredoing but you know, now we're
starting to see the fruits ofthe labor.
You know I can share a quick,quick vignette.
You know we are, we aredeveloping a pilot program,
mentorship program, with theDuval County Schools District in
(29:46):
Jacksonville, florida.
You know, and for the, for the,for the listeners, I'm based
out of San Antonio, Texas.
Ok, I've never been toJacksonville Florida and now we
have an entire school districtthat we are going to run this
pilot program with.
And earlier this year we wentto one of the high schools there
(30:07):
in an underserved community, toshare some of our stories and
our journeys with these students.
You know over 150 students andin underserved communities there
is a high mistrust for firstresponders, military, that type
(30:32):
of selfless service, and it'snot looked greatly as a career
option.
So for us to be able to embedourselves in communities like
that, have open dialogue andgreat feedback and having kids
wanting more, it lets me knowthat we're on the right track.
(30:53):
To me, that makes me reallyproud of what we're doing as a
team.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
That's fantastic and for people listening, you hear
that you can do things that younever thought you could do.
You know this is a completelydifferent state school district
now that he's involved in, soyou don't realize the ripple
effect that you can create whenyou put yourself out there.
So putting yourself out theretakes ownership.
(31:23):
You want to speak a little moreabout ownership and being able
to like get things to happen.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Yeah, ownership is everything.
If you do not believe, it allstarts with you.
We talked about it.
To go back to your book, theAsset Mindset, you are your
greatest advocate, and if youhave an idea but you don't
believe in the idea, nobody'sgoing to follow you.
If you believe in you, you havea compelling vision and you can
(32:00):
create a team and createsynergy to go down the same path
, you can accomplish anything,and that's literally what we've
been doing the last four yearsis creating a team and a network
of individuals who are workingtogether across the country, and
now you know, our first schoolthat recognizes this is you know
(32:22):
, it's there and it's, it's,it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
That's fantastic, yeah.
Listeners out there, whateveryour dream, whatever you're
thinking, just know that it canhappen.
It's going to take some workand you got to own it, just like
owning a pet, you know.
You got to water it and feed itevery day.
You need to take ownership ofthat dream or that goal that you
have as well.
100%, yeah.
So let's get into a little bitof seeing problems as
(32:50):
opportunities again, becausewe're talking about ownership
and when you take ownership,you're going to run into
obstacles and problems.
I really want to make thatmindset shift and that's really
important for me to get thatthrough to our listeners is
having the asset mindset.
So when you have an obstacle oryou have a problem, come in.
Can you help explain how thatflipping it into a positive
(33:15):
thing or creating an opportunityout of that strife?
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
Um, I think, as creatives,that's where we live and you
have to be somewhat left-brainedto to identify a problem and
instead of looking at it from aright brain perspective which is
(33:39):
, well, it's a problem and let'stry to solve it, or it's a
problem and it's never going tobe resolved it's not my problem,
it is my problem, but I'm justgoing to, you know, whatever
(34:12):
no-transcript.
And I was not satisfied withthe lack of stories I saw coming
from our community and thespecial operations side of the
house.
I want to see more.
I want to see, I wanted to seemore diversity throughout
(34:34):
special operations and for me, Ithought the problem came from
the lack of stories coming fromthe community underserved
community of those who serve.
So, instead of just complainingabout it, we created a solution
that was in keeping with thetraditions of Special Operations
Command and created storiesthrough the Black Ops docuseries
(34:58):
and taking ownership of thosestories and telling them in a
very tactful way, not in avictimization type of way.
So it's just a very smallexample of how you can make a
difference.
If you see something that youfeel needs to be seen or heard,
(35:20):
you can always take it uponyourself to do that and enlist
others to do it with you, andyou'll know if it's.
You'll know if it's noble ifothers are willing to join your
cause in scale.
So that's just a little tidbit.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
No, that's it, that's it.
That's the asset mindset.
You know, when you seesomething, you don't like it or
it's a problem, and then youtake it on, well, you're going
to grow, you're going to learn,you are going to change your
life because of that problem,something that happens.
How many people you know get ina car wreck and something
happens, but then it changes thedirection of their life and now
(36:04):
they're at a place wherethey're like, geez, I wouldn't
be this person if that car wreckdidn't happen, because I
learned to walk again and Irealized my strength and my
power, or whatever it may be.
It doesn't have to be a caraccident or whatever obstacle in
life, but you learn aboutyourself, you learn about your
mind, you learn hey, I can lookat this differently or I can
(36:24):
take this on, and this is goingto be growth.
And anytime that you're scaredor you think there's a problem,
realize that's an opportunity togrow.
And most people run fromproblems, but when you have the
asset mindset and you chargeinto that problem, you can
overcome and get stronger.
So I would like, if you could,to implant what you think and
(36:45):
your understanding of the assetmindset.
What would be something thatyou would like listeners to walk
away with and, in a sense,ruben's asset mindset.
Like what would you share andgive?
Like this is the asset mindset.
Like what would you share andgive.
Like this is the number onething that I think you should do
.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Okay, I'll try, you will.
Yeah, there's a.
There's a lot floating in thisbig head of mine.
You know, I would say the topthings when creating an asset
mindset would be the number onething is you have to believe in
(37:27):
yourself.
You have to have confidence,because without that, it's
almost like an order ofmeritless.
If you don't have the confidencein what you're doing,
everything else is going to fallto, because you're going to
start having self-doubt and it'sa second, third order effects
type of thing.
You're creating a house ofcards and in order to build
(37:50):
self-confidence, you have to getout there and be uncomfortable.
You have to be comfortablebeing uncomfortable.
You have to because anytime you, you, you, you attack a problem
, whether it be something assimple as you have a blown out
(38:10):
tire in the highway, it's goingto be uncomfortable and you need
the confidence to be able totake your jack and jack up the
car, remove the tire, put itback in.
So yeah, for all the listenersI would just say you need to.
You need to create the space inyour mind to be confident in
yourself, and that's easier saidthan done.
(38:33):
Sometimes it takes years,sometimes it may just take a
whole day.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And sometimes you might have to redo it and
revisit it, but you can do it.
That's the thing.
That's.
That's one of the things thatI'll share, too.
That I know you're all a part ofis don't have this, I can't or
I don't know how.
You know, believing in yourself, like Ruben's talking about, is
like, all right, I can do this,but how do I do it?
(39:00):
Getting that, how do Imentality or I get to learn this
now because I don't knowsomething.
So, having that ability to justshift in your head to be like
all right, how do I make thishappen, instead of oh, I can't.
And having the confidence yeah,you may not be able to do it as
quick or as fast or as good.
(39:20):
However, you will get it done.
That's the thing people need torealize.
You will get it done.
When you have that, how do Iand you have self-confidence,
ruben?
That's fantastic, man.
I love it.
I love your story, I love whatyou're doing and you know I wish
you the best, as always, andI'm so grateful that you came on
(39:42):
here and got to share the asset, mindset, philosophy with the
listeners and your philosophyand how that relates and it all
comes together because the truthis the truth, right.
Like you can't beat that, youneed to exercise, Like you said,
that's important.
You know nobody's going to denythat fact and everything we're
(40:04):
talking about here applies toeverybody's life.
I'm not special, you're notspecial, but we are special at
the same time.
Like we can apply the assetmindset.
You don't need to be specialforces to have the asset mindset
, but if you want to be specialforces, you probably should have
the asset mindset.
Or you don't need to be specialforces to have the asset
mindset, but if you want to bespecial forces, you probably
should have the asset mindset.
Or you won't make it becauseyou got to push through right.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, definitely need to, it helps.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And I see you're wearing a very unique shirt.
Can you talk about that shirt alittle bit?
And who is on there?
I believe his name is Roy,correct.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Yeah, let me see if I can see it.
There you go, can you see it?
Okay, there, there we go.
Yeah, so the the shirt is acollaboration with the roy
benavides family and for thosewho don't know who roy benavides
is, he was a master sergeant inspecial, a Master Sergeant in
Special Forces, congressionalMedal of Honor recipient who
(41:00):
received the award in 1981 foractions in Vietnam, and we
consider him the real life Rambo.
If you are not familiar withhis story or with his actions,
please check it out.
But his family still resides inPueblo, texas, where he retired
, and his siblings.
(41:23):
Their main mission set is tokeep his legacy alive and it's
incredible to me how many peoplewho don't know who Roy
Benavides is and the receptionthat we've had once we launched
this collaboration with thefamily has been great.
We launched this collaborationwith the family.
It's been great.
Actually, I'll be going downthere in a couple of weeks so to
(41:48):
interact with the students atthe high school where he has a
memorial scholarship in his name.
So the the the proceeds fromthe sale of this shirt, part of
them go to fund the RoyBenavidez Memorial Scholarship.
I'll be there for the seniorclass and you know we're going
to be giving out somescholarships, which is awesome,
and again, it's just you know.
Back to the question of youknow, how are we impacting
people?
That's one part of it there.
(42:08):
I live in San Antonio, neverbeen to Cueto, texas.
I'll be going there in a coupleof weeks handing out
scholarships, purely throughsomething that my business
partners and I created.
Never in a million years wouldI have thought that I'd be
working on behalf of RoyBenavides' family and being part
(42:30):
of his legacy.
It's great man.
It makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
That's a great story and that's why I wanted you to
share it and I wanted ourlisteners to hear it, because
you're once again proving thatyou can make a difference.
You can have an idea in yourhead and you can apply that.
And, yeah, it might be hard todo, but if you do it and figure
out the how to, you're going tochange lives.
(42:56):
That's what you're doing.
So for any of you listeners outthere that want to know more,
you can check out triplenickelcom and please, you know,
check out the asset, mindsetcom.
And you are your greatest asset.
You can change your life, youcan change the world.
You are a creator.
Own your power.
Welcome to the Asset Mindset Podcast, Ruben Ayala.
It's great to have you here,brother.
I can't wait to talk to youabout your mindset and what
you've done to help change theworld and make it a better place
, and all the things that you'reworking on.
So thanks for coming and beingon the Asset Mindset Podcast.
And why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, dan, I appreciate you reaching out and
having me on the show.
You know you and I go way backgeez, almost 20 years now, which
is amazing.
You haven't changed much.
I have a full gray beard, youdon't I'm jealous.
And Denny behind the scenes.
You know we all come from thesame group in Special Forces.
(00:52):
So you know, to me this is youknow this is sort of a
homecoming.
Anytime we can get together andwe can talk.
So I know it's therapeutic foryou, it's therapeutic for me and
us being able to share ourjourney.
So quick background on meformer Army Special Forces
officer Dan and I we servedtogether in the same company and
(01:13):
you know now we're businessowners and you know we've
matured as men, we have familiesand you know we're out here
doing the dad life thing now andsharing our experiences.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Oh, fantastic, great to have you All right.
So I'm going to dive right in,because you know SF guys, we
like to do that right away.
So what was the single hardestmoment in your life where you
actually realized you either,like, are going to break down
and have to let go, or you gotto step it up?
And what concepts from theasset mindset change that
outcome?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Tough question Right off the bat.
Expect nothing less.
You know, I got to take it backto day one.
I would say my toughest momentwas probably when I first came
to the United States.
I didn't know English, I was inan ESL program and it was a new
environment for me.
I didn't quite understand theAmerican culture.
(02:09):
For those who aren't familiarwith me, I was born in Puerto
Rico and raised in Puerto Rico,and when my mother and I came to
the United States, I wasimmediately placed in ESL
classes with a bunch of kidsthat were from Mexico and we got
bullied a lot.
And that particular day we weregetting bullied really hard and
(02:33):
kids were coming in yelling LaMigra and I didn't know what
those things meant.
And I was confronted almostdaily and it was at that point
that I had to make a decisionlike, hey, you know, I'm in a
new country, learning a newculture, learning a new language
, and I got to lock in it's youknow, sink or swim, and without
(02:55):
having life skills to be able tocounteract that.
You know, to me that wasdifficult.
I always think back about thosedays.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
So yeah, Now, I love that sink or swim concept.
So you realized in your mindlike hey, I got to do one or the
other and you decided to swim.
So what helped you swim?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
What best helped me swim was, uh was probably my
grandmother.
You know she was.
She was a mentor for me earlyon.
Um, my mother and mygrandmother and myself, we, we,
we came to the united statestogether and we all were
learning english together and itwas her with a constant foot in
my ass telling me hey, you know, I'm in my 60s, you are gonna
(03:45):
have to live this for the bulkof your life and you need to
figure this out.
You can't go back to where wecame from you, just you can't
drive, you can't fly a plane,can't drive a boat.
So either you figure it out oryou don't.
And you know that was, that wasmy first shock and awe moment
as a, as a young man.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Well, that's powerful .
So even then, at a young age,you were realizing the people
around you are really important,absolutely.
She was able to help mentor you.
So what are some of the thingsthat she really instilled upon
you that became a foundation foryou to grow and establish into
the person you are today?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
To.
To sum it up, I would say mygrandmother really started the
foundation of having me examinethat you are going to need to
assimilate as best as you can toyour environment.
So us, as Green Berets,assimilate as best as you can to
(04:47):
your environment.
So us, as Green Berets, ouroperational awareness is our
watchword, and that's somethingthat she instilled in me from
very early on.
We are from a certainenvironment, we're in a new one.
You need to learn theenvironment that you're in.
You don't have to forget whereyou're from, but you need to
learn how to assimilate andlearn how to navigate within it.
And that was probably her mainlesson, given all of her life
(05:13):
experiences that at the time Ididn't quite understand.
You know, I look that it isnagging, but looking back at it
now I realize that she was, shewas mentoring me from early on.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Now, that's fantastic to have that, that support at
such a young age.
So with the asset mindset,teaches us to turn adversity
into an advantage.
So can you share, like you arenow, about the time that, hey,
that seemed like a disadvantage,and that disadvantage you were
able to turn and make it into anasset.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, you know, something close to home that we
can all relate to is and I'llshare a story how I got into SF.
You know, assessed to go tospecial forces, I went into
(06:10):
selection.
Out of year group.
I was originally commissionedas an infantry officer and then
transitioned to signal as partof a branch detail program.
I went through the normalpipeline to become a signal
officer and ended up at the 1stof the 10th Special Forces Group
(06:30):
as the Battalion S6.
And I hated it.
I was a horrible signal officer.
I didn't understand theconcepts.
I did good but I didn't enjoyit.
And I realized at that momentthat again, sink or swim, I had
to advocate for myself.
I knew that I had a lot ofthings going for myself.
(06:51):
I deployed, I was in greatshape, tactically proficient.
So when the SOCOM commandercame for a visit, I took it upon
myself to just go to himdirectly and say hey, we are,
we're at war.
You know this is early on inthe GWAT, sf needs officers, put
(07:12):
me in coach.
I know I'll be at a risk and adisadvantage, but that is what's
going to make me prevail.
So by me doing that, it startedthe chain to say who is this guy
.
By me doing that, it startedthe chain to say who is this guy
?
Uh Yala, why is he coming tothe SOCOM commander?
And well, let's give him a shot.
If he's willing to do that, um,we'll send him to selection,
(07:34):
but he can't fail.
He's he can go to the Q course,but he can't fail.
There's no recycles, there'snothing.
If he messes up along the wayat any point, then you know he
becomes a promotion risk andhe's gone.
So for me that was a moment intime where I knew that my
disadvantage of not liking thejob came with heavy risk.
(07:57):
But you know I had confidencein myself to make it happen.
You know I think of those timesfondly and you know I remind
myself of those periods of timewhen it gets tough.
I look back at that moment intime and say, hey, you know you
went through all that ordeal toget where you are.
You know this is easy.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
That's fantastic.
That's a great story, and Ididn't even know that aspect
about you, so I'm even learningsomething.
This is.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I don't, I don't tell people that story too much.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, but uh, you know, I say in my book that your
mind is your greatest weaponand it sounds like you know your
mind in thinking and thedecisions you made is something
that you were able to overcomeand achieve things that you
thought maybe you couldn't, oryou just realized in your mind
(08:46):
you know that I have this power,so you had this happen.
Do you know when it firsthappened, or can you describe
your mindset shift where yourealized your mental toughness?
Or your mindset actually isyour greatest weapon, or
strength.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
That, to me, that's a constant conversation I have
with myself, believe it or not.
You know, every year, everyyear, that that I'm on this
earth.
I I say to myself, man, youknow, you, you really come a
long way as I sit back andreflect.
You really come a long way as Isit back and reflect.
(09:34):
But there's always a challengeright around the corner that's
going to question everythingthat I just told myself.
But I would say when the lightbulb first started to come on
was probably when I was asophomore in college, was
probably when I was a sophomorein college.
You know, I'm the product of.
You know, I failed the ninthgrade.
I was a horrible student.
I didn't apply myself.
(09:55):
I almost failed the eighthgrade.
I failed the ninth grade.
I barely made it out of highschool.
I joined the army right out ofhigh school to just to just do
something.
Um, it was either that or, youknow, get in trouble, go to jail
, whatever.
And when I finally got my mystuff together and went to
(10:15):
college and I started applyingmyself and study, and I said, oh
, holy shit, man, this is whateverybody's been talking about.
You know, if you apply yourself, you can kind of you can kind
of do stuff.
And that's the first momentSome people get that at the
third grade I got it as asophomore in college man, so I'm
a little slow.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Some people never get it, ruben, and that's why we're
here to help them get it.
If they're an adult listening,no doubt.
No doubt you know, becausepeople get stuck, you know, they
get stuck in a victim mentalityand I hate to see that.
You know.
Our motto de oppresseur lebertis to free the oppressed, you
know, or to free from oppression, and I think people oppress
(10:56):
themselves with their own mindand all your listeners out there
.
Like Ruben just said, thestruggle is real.
He still deals with it, I stilldeal with it, but it's
realizing you are your greatestasset and that you can make
changes and you can do it.
So can you share a little bitabout how to overcome, maybe,
victim mentality, because yourbackground, you probably felt
(11:18):
like a victim at times, or youmaybe had excuses because, oh, I
had to.
You know, english is my secondlanguage or whatnot.
So can you help other peoplethat maybe feel like they have
this chip on their shoulder orthis victim mentality?
How do they overcome that andget rid of it?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, and I'll tell you, man, the victim mentality
is, is is an easy trap that wecan all fall into.
I've fallen into it, I, I, Ifall into it all the time.
I think it's just a human.
It's human nature, um,especially when you're at your
low, um, not to be confused withcertain certain people that are
true victims.
(11:58):
So I don't want to diminishthat either.
But for me, reading reallyunlocked that and tapping into
other people's stories, becauseyou can have friends and peers
that you can lean on.
But make no mistake that if youhave friends and peers who
(12:18):
haven't been through thatjourney and overcome their
personal obstacles or demons,they're not going to be the best
mentors for you.
They're going to give youhorrible advice.
So for me, it was readingbiographies, reading the
journeys of people that I wantedto be like and emulate and see
what they went through andunderstand and put myself in
(12:40):
their shoes or empathize withtheir journey, and there's a
million different ways to dothat.
But reading really unlockedthat feature in my mind to say,
hey, ruben, this guy, he wasable to overcome this.
You can do the same thing.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
No, that makes total sense.
And that's where I talk about.
You know, surrounding yourselfwith positive people and
positive environments.
You know you made a shift andyour positive environment was
getting.
In that book and that mentorthat you found was that person
that autobiography was about, orthe story of them overcoming.
And I want to agree with you.
There are people that arevictimized and have horrible
(13:23):
things happen to them, but oneof the things I've learned
through my studies over theyears is that once you're a
victim okay, you were a victim,but you don't have to stay a
victim, no matter what it is.
And you talk to anybody that'srecovered from horrific things
where they were victimized.
They can overcome and realizethat they don't want to give
(13:44):
that person or that event anymore power.
They want to move on.
Now it's not always easy by nomeans for you, me and even
people that have had it worsebut it can be done.
And can you talk a little bitabout how that changes you?
When you feel like you knowwhat, I don't have to stay a
victim.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You feel like you know what, I don't have to stay
a victim.
Yeah, you know, once you unlockthat, you know we just call it
superpower.
Right, it was a superpower forme to say to get out of your own
head.
You know, when I say that iswhen you don't have mentorship,
when you don't have counsel,whether it be through books,
(14:25):
friends, peers, you're your owncounsel.
Whether it be through books,friends, peers, you're your own
counsel.
And I don't try to be my owncounsel because personally, I'm
going to run off the cliff.
It starts giving you options andwhen I was in graduate school,
(14:48):
I had a professor.
He said whenever you feel likeyou are at your wit's end,
that's a problem, or you areupset with a person, or
something's not going your way.
I want you to think of sixdifferent things, of why it's
(15:11):
not going your way, and I try toapply that in my
decision-making process and thatunlocks other possibilities.
So back to your point.
If you feel so overwhelmed thatyou take that victim mentality
on, whatever the case may be,you start to think of well,
(15:32):
maybe it's because of this, this, this, this.
It opens up a world ofpossibilities that will allow
you to explore other ways tohelp yourself or help yourself
out of a situation that you maybe in.
So that's just a you know TTPfor me and that's something that
I do internally.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
No, that's fantastic.
Can you go a little more indetail, like, say, you wrote
these six things down, maybetalk about one or two and give
an example for the listeners on?
Like all right, this happenedor this is one of the reasons
why I feel like a victim, thenhow would you tackle or approach
that or change that?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, I'll give a real world example.
So, you know, recently, I'm notgoing to name any names, but
you know our company was puttingon an event and you know, you
know, in my mind I have certainenablers, people that are
supporting such event.
(16:28):
And you know, if a certainenabler just drops off in my
mind, I'm thinking, well, theyscrewed me over, and they
screwed me over because of X, yand Z.
But when I push the pausebutton on it, you know, the
(16:49):
mature Reuben takes over.
You know, I got the matureReuben, I got the immature
Reuben on both shoulders.
The mature Reuben says hey, man,let's think of six reasons why
they might have fallen off.
So one could be a schedulingconflict.
Two, it could be a fundingissue.
Three, you know, it could beweather related, who knows, you
(17:16):
know.
So I start going down the lineand it calms me down and it puts
me in a state to be able toopen up the conversation and not
burn a relationship.
So that's just a practicalexercise.
You know, just real worldexample of what I went through
just recently to make sure thatI maintain those relationships
that you know at a technicallevel Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
So that helps you prevent yourself from going into
the knee-jerk reaction orstereotypical reactions that you
might have had because of oh,it's because of this reason or
that.
So it's getting rid ofjudgments and biases absolutely
I like that and I think anybodylistening.
I think you might want to trythat sometime.
(17:54):
If you have this, this feelingwhere you're all of a sudden
like you know what they're doing, this to me because of this, I
think that's good Step back.
You know, have an objective,look at it and it's hard to do.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
It's hard to do.
It takes it takes a lot ofpractice.
I can't even lie and thengrowing.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
That's the point.
Yeah, if you're not growing andlearning, then you're dying, as
they say, and you don't want todo that.
And that's why we're here totalk about a positive mindset
and mental health and makingchanges.
So our listeners because ifyou're listening, you want to
improve, you want to grow, youwant a stronger mindset we're
here trying to build the assetmindset up in you.
You know, and we're sharing ourknowledge because the struggle
is real for everybody.
(18:36):
You know you read my book or youread someone else's book about
mindset.
You don't all of a suddenmagically know everything.
You know, then you have toapply it.
I can tell you how to ride abike, but that doesn't mean you
can just sit on it and do it.
You have to have balance, youhave to go through the
experience.
That's right.
So many believe success is justa luck or a talent and I'm sure
(19:00):
you know people say, oh, you'relucky where you're at now.
Can you explain how luck andtalent really is not just as
easy as some people think it iswhen you get stuff like the hard
work behind the scenes?
In a sense, you know luckfavors the prepared mind.
(19:21):
You know, or we've talked about.
You know you win the battlebefore you go to the battlefield
.
It's an all the PT that you doahead of time, so can you get
into that a little bit?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, good question.
I think about this often and Icame up with an equation.
I'm still developing thistheory, but again, just my
opinion is luck plus talent,plus timing plus experience, and
(19:57):
whenever you take either one ofthose out of the equation, you
may be successful, you may not,and you know.
Just to briefly explain each,you know, because you
highlighted luck and talent,luck being the right place at
the right time, and if you don'thave the experience, you may be
(20:19):
at the right place at the righttime, and if you don't have the
experience, you may be at theright place at the right time,
but not may see the opportunitybecause you don't have the
experience to.
Whereas talent, you can haveall the talent in the world.
We were just talking about yourson.
He's playing four hours a dayon the guitar and if anybody
who's read the Outliers, malcolmGladwell, to become an expert,
if you're not practicing at aminimal of two hours a day, you
(20:43):
are not going to be MichaelJordan, you are not going to be
Jeff Bezos, you're not going tobe any of these successful guys
because you haven't put thatwork in.
So I think luck and talent area huge part of the equation, but
also, too, is you need thatlife experience to be able to
see those moments, um, to beable to take advantage of those.
(21:05):
Uh, and you know, but you knowagain, to me, those are the
things that I've found in myjourney, because, the Lord knows
man, I've missed so manyopportunities simply because I
just wasn't aware or I was in myhead.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
So it happens to all of us.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Do you think hard work because you touched on that
a little bit, putting the timein yeah, do you think hard work
increases luck or increasesopportunities?
Like the ratio changes the moretime you put in.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Maybe, and I just say maybe, because you can be a
completely hard worker, but youmay not be putting yourself in
the spaces to take advantage ofthat Example.
You may be a tremendous this isbasketball.
(21:56):
You may be a tremendous this isjust basketball.
You may be a tremendousbasketball player.
You put into work every day inyour driveway or at your local
gym, but if you aren't takingyourself out of your comfort
zone and maybe joining a localleague, or maybe your parents
(22:18):
aren't putting you in the spaceto compete with others, you're
not going to have theopportunity to have your talent
recognized or the luck to bethere when a scout is there.
So that's why I say maybe, andI think that that's where you
need to have mentors to help youalong the way, to sometimes
(22:40):
place you in those places to berecognized.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
No, yeah, you're absolutely right, and that's why
I talk about.
The second key is, you know,surrounding yourself with
positive people in positiveenvironments, because if you're
not in the right environment,you're not going to be seen.
You know you already talkedabout being a musician and
playing guitar If you're playingin your basement and you're not
getting out there and joining aband or playing on a stage or
(23:06):
being a part of a music festival, yeah, you're never going to
get discovered.
Nobody's going to come knockingon your door and be like hey,
is there a guitar player heresomewhere that can you know,
make a video or join a band?
You need to get out there, andthis also falls back on.
That's why you are yourgreatest asset, because you have
to make changes.
You have to do things that areoutside your comfort zone, and I
(23:29):
love that you brought that up,because I think many of us
nowadays, because we're modernpeople and it's pretty
comfortable to be a human beingright now.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
It is really good.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
You can sit on the couch and watch Netflix and do
whatever it's it's.
It's something that we'veforgotten, and you really get to
become the most successful orhave the most growth when you
get outside of your comfort zone.
So what are some things andtechniques that you do to make
sure you keep pushing and getoutside your comfort zone that
you can share with the listeners?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, I think for me, the number one thing that I do,
I try to do every day, is youis is be physical.
You got to, you got to takecare of your mind physically and
I think you hit the nail on thehead.
Nowadays it's easy to not becomfortable.
(24:25):
I mean, I'm sorry, it's easy tostay comfortable because you
have everything.
You have everything.
But the thing that I do to keepme out of my comfort zone is to
work out, because that's whereit begins.
That's the easiest thing thatyou can do to just make yourself
physically uncomfortable and itjust kind of sets the tone and
(24:49):
you can always refer to that,like I just got through that
workout writing this 30 minutepaper or this blog or doing
whatever it is that you have todo to get to your day, to pay
the bills or take care of thefamily.
It makes it just that mucheasier and it's as simple, as
simple as that 30 minutes get agood sweat on and and just be
(25:10):
you against yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
No, absolutely, and nobody feels worse after working
out.
You might feel sore, butmentally I don't feel worse.
Everybody that I know that'sever worked out.
They may not want to start theworkout but at the end they're
glad they've done it.
I've never met anybody that'slike, oh, after I exercised, I
feel like you know that was awaste of time.
(25:33):
Never ever exercised.
I feel like you know that was awaste of time, never, ever.
So just getting the momentumand moving is very crucial,
absolutely.
Listeners out there, you know,take some of Ruben's advice and
just spend 30 minutes Even.
It doesn't matter how intenseyou get.
Obviously, the more intense thebetter.
Um, but not to the point thatyou tear something.
I can speak from experience onthat one recently.
(25:55):
Don't push too hard.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You know I'm getting older.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Seriously, I just I love some of the nuggets you're
sharing and your background,because so many people get stuck
and you're a prime example ofhow you can get yourself unstuck
, you know, with mentorship fromyour grandmother, with the
books and knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
We've all heard that saying andI think what you're doing is
(26:24):
fantastic.
So can you tell a little bitmore about, kind of like, what
your mission is now and yourmission statement for yourself
in life, because I think a lotof people they're droning in
life, and when I say droningthat's a military thing, you're
just like being a zombie goingthrough life day to day.
You know what is your missionBecause you know what if you
(26:45):
want to feel good in life, youneed to build yourself a mission
and be working towardssomething.
So what are you doing Ruben?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, I think you and I, danny, the guys who you know
we've all served together, orour generation who chose to
serve and spend so much timeaway that we are just now
starting to live our life.
That's the kind of the way I seeit, and my, my mission
(27:13):
statement is pretty simple, justboils down to one word it's
just legacy, and at times whenI'm in my head, if you will, and
have that victim mentality,it's like man, I feel like my.
Sometimes I feel as if my wholeadult life was just lost.
Right, you know, when you sitdown and you integrate into the
(27:34):
civilian space, I equate thingsto okay, yeah, 2005, that was
this deployment, or thisdeployment, you know, or you
know, we were here, we werethere, because I can't relate to
a lot of things that my peerswould insert.
So I feel personally as I'mcreating a legacy for the time
that I've lost, right, wrong orindifferent, it just is what it
(27:57):
is and taking my experiencesthat I've picked up over the
last 30 plus years, and beingable to impart that with those
who may be from the communitiesthat I came from, who didn't
have proper mentors or rolemodels to follow, and so
(28:22):
anything that we do with TripleNickel, black Ops or any of the
properties that we're workingwith.
It's all about that.
It's showing others.
Hey, you can do this too hey,you can do this too.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
So you're, you're, in a mentorship role now.
You are helping, you know, shedlight on a path that you've,
you know, beat down a little bitto make it easier for the next
generation and I think that's socommendable.
I mean, people don't realize howmuch of an effect they can have
on others.
So with the work you're doingand even myself, you know I've
(29:01):
experienced this you think, oh,I'm just doing this and you know
, maybe it'll help a couple ofpeople.
Can you share some of the waysthat living your life this way
now is changing other lives, orsome of the feedback that you've
got from people to helpencourage others to maybe make a
difference?
So what was that like for you,getting feedback from people?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Man, it's, it's awesome.
You know there's some dayswhere you know we, early on, you
know we questioned what we weredoing but you know, now we're
starting to see the fruits ofthe labor.
You know I can share a quick,quick vignette.
You know we are, we aredeveloping a pilot program,
mentorship program, with theDuval County Schools District in
(29:46):
Jacksonville, florida.
You know, and for the, for the,for the listeners, I'm based
out of San Antonio, Texas.
Ok, I've never been toJacksonville Florida and now we
have an entire school districtthat we are going to run this
pilot program with.
And earlier this year we wentto one of the high schools there
(30:07):
in an underserved community, toshare some of our stories and
our journeys with these students.
You know over 150 students andin underserved communities there
is a high mistrust for firstresponders, military, that type
(30:32):
of selfless service, and it'snot looked greatly as a career
option.
So for us to be able to embedourselves in communities like
that, have open dialogue andgreat feedback and having kids
wanting more, it lets me knowthat we're on the right track.
(30:53):
To me, that makes me reallyproud of what we're doing as a
team.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
That's fantastic and for people listening, you hear
that you can do things that younever thought you could do.
You know this is a completelydifferent state school district
now that he's involved in, soyou don't realize the ripple
effect that you can create whenyou put yourself out there.
So putting yourself out theretakes ownership.
(31:23):
You want to speak a little moreabout ownership and being able
to like get things to happen.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Yeah, ownership is everything.
If you do not believe, it allstarts with you.
We talked about it.
To go back to your book, theAsset Mindset, you are your
greatest advocate, and if youhave an idea but you don't
believe in the idea, nobody'sgoing to follow you.
If you believe in you, you havea compelling vision and you can
(32:00):
create a team and createsynergy to go down the same path
, you can accomplish anything,and that's literally what we've
been doing the last four yearsis creating a team and a network
of individuals who are workingtogether across the country, and
now you know, our first schoolthat recognizes this is you know
(32:22):
, it's there and it's, it's,it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
That's fantastic, yeah.
Listeners out there, whateveryour dream, whatever you're
thinking, just know that it canhappen.
It's going to take some workand you got to own it, just like
owning a pet, you know.
You got to water it and feed itevery day.
You need to take ownership ofthat dream or that goal that you
have as well.
100%, yeah.
So let's get into a little bitof seeing problems as
(32:50):
opportunities again, becausewe're talking about ownership
and when you take ownership,you're going to run into
obstacles and problems.
I really want to make thatmindset shift and that's really
important for me to get thatthrough to our listeners is
having the asset mindset.
So when you have an obstacle oryou have a problem, come in.
Can you help explain how thatflipping it into a positive
(33:15):
thing or creating an opportunityout of that strife?
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
Um, I think, as creatives,that's where we live and you
have to be somewhat left-brainedto to identify a problem and
instead of looking at it from aright brain perspective which is
(33:39):
, well, it's a problem and let'stry to solve it, or it's a
problem and it's never going tobe resolved it's not my problem,
it is my problem, but I'm justgoing to, you know, whatever
(34:12):
no-transcript.
And I was not satisfied withthe lack of stories I saw coming
from our community and thespecial operations side of the
house.
I want to see more.
I want to see, I wanted to seemore diversity throughout
(34:34):
special operations and for me, Ithought the problem came from
the lack of stories coming fromthe community underserved
community of those who serve.
So, instead of just complainingabout it, we created a solution
that was in keeping with thetraditions of Special Operations
Command and created storiesthrough the Black Ops docuseries
(34:58):
and taking ownership of thosestories and telling them in a
very tactful way, not in avictimization type of way.
So it's just a very smallexample of how you can make a
difference.
If you see something that youfeel needs to be seen or heard,
(35:20):
you can always take it uponyourself to do that and enlist
others to do it with you, andyou'll know if it's.
You'll know if it's noble ifothers are willing to join your
cause in scale.
So that's just a little tidbit.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
No, that's it, that's it.
That's the asset mindset.
You know, when you seesomething, you don't like it or
it's a problem, and then youtake it on, well, you're going
to grow, you're going to learn,you are going to change your
life because of that problem,something that happens.
How many people you know get ina car wreck and something
happens, but then it changes thedirection of their life and now
(36:04):
they're at a place wherethey're like, geez, I wouldn't
be this person if that car wreckdidn't happen, because I
learned to walk again and Irealized my strength and my
power, or whatever it may be.
It doesn't have to be a caraccident or whatever obstacle in
life, but you learn aboutyourself, you learn about your
mind, you learn hey, I can lookat this differently or I can
(36:24):
take this on, and this is goingto be growth.
And anytime that you're scaredor you think there's a problem,
realize that's an opportunity togrow.
And most people run fromproblems, but when you have the
asset mindset and you chargeinto that problem, you can
overcome and get stronger.
So I would like, if you could,to implant what you think and
(36:45):
your understanding of the assetmindset.
What would be something thatyou would like listeners to walk
away with and, in a sense,ruben's asset mindset.
Like what would you share andgive?
Like this is the asset mindset.
Like what would you share andgive.
Like this is the number onething that I think you should do
.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Okay, I'll try, you will.
Yeah, there's a.
There's a lot floating in thisbig head of mine.
You know, I would say the topthings when creating an asset
mindset would be the number onething is you have to believe in
(37:27):
yourself.
You have to have confidence,because without that, it's
almost like an order ofmeritless.
If you don't have the confidencein what you're doing,
everything else is going to fallto, because you're going to
start having self-doubt and it'sa second, third order effects
type of thing.
You're creating a house ofcards and in order to build
(37:50):
self-confidence, you have to getout there and be uncomfortable.
You have to be comfortablebeing uncomfortable.
You have to because anytime you, you, you, you attack a problem
, whether it be something assimple as you have a blown out
(38:10):
tire in the highway, it's goingto be uncomfortable and you need
the confidence to be able totake your jack and jack up the
car, remove the tire, put itback in.
So yeah, for all the listenersI would just say you need to.
You need to create the space inyour mind to be confident in
yourself, and that's easier saidthan done.
(38:33):
Sometimes it takes years,sometimes it may just take a
whole day.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And sometimes you might have to redo it and
revisit it, but you can do it.
That's the thing.
That's.
That's one of the things thatI'll share, too.
That I know you're all a part ofis don't have this, I can't or
I don't know how.
You know, believing in yourself, like Ruben's talking about, is
like, all right, I can do this,but how do I do it?
(39:00):
Getting that, how do Imentality or I get to learn this
now because I don't knowsomething.
So, having that ability to justshift in your head to be like
all right, how do I make thishappen, instead of oh, I can't.
And having the confidence yeah,you may not be able to do it as
quick or as fast or as good.
(39:20):
However, you will get it done.
That's the thing people need torealize.
You will get it done.
When you have that, how do Iand you have self-confidence,
ruben?
That's fantastic, man.
I love it.
I love your story, I love whatyou're doing and you know I wish
you the best, as always, andI'm so grateful that you came on
(39:42):
here and got to share the asset, mindset, philosophy with the
listeners and your philosophyand how that relates and it all
comes together because the truthis the truth, right.
Like you can't beat that, youneed to exercise, Like you said,
that's important.
You know nobody's going to denythat fact and everything we're
(40:04):
talking about here applies toeverybody's life.
I'm not special, you're notspecial, but we are special at
the same time.
Like we can apply the assetmindset.
You don't need to be specialforces to have the asset mindset
, but if you want to be specialforces, you probably should have
the asset mindset.
Or you don't need to be specialforces to have the asset
mindset, but if you want to bespecial forces, you probably
should have the asset mindset.
Or you won't make it becauseyou got to push through right.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, definitely need to, it helps.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And I see you're wearing a very unique shirt.
Can you talk about that shirt alittle bit?
And who is on there?
I believe his name is Roy,correct.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Yeah, let me see if I can see it.
There you go, can you see it?
Okay, there, there we go.
Yeah, so the the shirt is acollaboration with the roy
benavides family and for thosewho don't know who roy benavides
is, he was a master sergeant inspecial, a Master Sergeant in
Special Forces, congressionalMedal of Honor recipient who
(41:00):
received the award in 1981 foractions in Vietnam, and we
consider him the real life Rambo.
If you are not familiar withhis story or with his actions,
please check it out.
But his family still resides inPueblo, texas, where he retired
, and his siblings.
(41:23):
Their main mission set is tokeep his legacy alive and it's
incredible to me how many peoplewho don't know who Roy
Benavides is and the receptionthat we've had once we launched
this collaboration with thefamily has been great.
We launched this collaborationwith the family.
It's been great.
Actually, I'll be going downthere in a couple of weeks so to
(41:48):
interact with the students atthe high school where he has a
memorial scholarship in his name.
So the the the proceeds fromthe sale of this shirt, part of
them go to fund the RoyBenavidez Memorial Scholarship.
I'll be there for the seniorclass and you know we're going
to be giving out somescholarships, which is awesome,
and again, it's just you know.
Back to the question of youknow, how are we impacting
people?
That's one part of it there.
(42:08):
I live in San Antonio, neverbeen to Cueto, texas.
I'll be going there in a coupleof weeks handing out
scholarships, purely throughsomething that my business
partners and I created.
Never in a million years wouldI have thought that I'd be
working on behalf of RoyBenavides' family and being part
(42:30):
of his legacy.
It's great man.
It makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
That's a great story and that's why I wanted you to
share it and I wanted ourlisteners to hear it, because
you're once again proving thatyou can make a difference.
You can have an idea in yourhead and you can apply that.
And, yeah, it might be hard todo, but if you do it and figure
out the how to, you're going tochange lives.
(42:56):
That's what you're doing.
So for any of you listeners outthere that want to know more,
you can check out triplenickelcom and please, you know,
check out the asset, mindsetcom.
And you are your greatest asset.
You can change your life, youcan change the world.
You are a creator.
Own your power.
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