May 9, 2025 • 49 mins
In this powerful episode of The Asset Mindset podcast, host Daniel Fielding sits down with TEDx speaker, entrepreneur, and creative leadership advocate Van Lai-DuMone to explore how curiosity and creativity can reshape our mindset and unlock new paths to personal growth.
From her roots as a Vietnamese refugee to building a career that empowers individuals and organizations through creative thinking, Van shares how overcoming fear, listening to your intuition, and embracing discomfort can help you find purpose and confidence. She opens up about using art-based practices to combat anxiety, her journey through self-doubt, and how public speaking, mentorship, and visibility played a crucial role in her transformation.
This episode dives deep into the power of mindset, the connection between body awareness and emotional intelligence, and the importance of taking ownership of your narrative. Whether you're a leader, entrepreneur, or someone searching for direction, this conversation will leave you inspired to reframe obstacles as opportunities and take bold steps toward your goals.
Be sure to follow, like, share, and subscribe to The Asset Mindset on Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts for more motivational conversations designed to help you lead with purpose and power.
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Curiosity and Creativity
02:59 Overcoming Life's Challenges and Finding Purpose
05:49 The Role of Fear in Pursuing Dreams
08:58 Creative Problem Solving and Expanding Thinking
11:57 Visibility and Overcoming Self-Doubt
14:49 Finding Your Why and Following Curiosities
17:53 The Importance of Gut Feelings and Intuition
25:30 Understanding Anxiety and the Body's Response
28:04 The Journey to TEDx: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
31:44 The Power of Networking and Building Relationships
33:51 The Importance of Mentorship in Personal Growth
36:47 Reframing Negative Thoughts and Building Confidence
45:45 Taking Ownership: Empowering Yourself for Success
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Learn more at:
Follow Van Lai-DuMone on Social media today!
Instagram: whatifpigscanflybook
Website: worksmartadvantage.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Today on the Asset Mindset podcast, we have a very
special guest, a strong woman,an inspiring woman who is
changing the world with hercuriosity.
Today's special guest is VonLai DeMont, and what a pleasure
it is to have you here and youhave so many things you've done.
I mean TED Talks CEO.
(00:30):
I love that.
You're an author and what ifpigs could fly?
A practical guide to followyour curiosities to achieve
impractical possibilities.
So I love that, because I'm allabout mindset growth and
changing.
So please tell us a little bitabout yourself and what you do
and what you're planning ondoing in the future too.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Sure.
So you said a lot of it.
I started this business about10, maybe 11 years ago almost 11
years ago and what I do is mycuriosity at the time was how do
I bring more creativity intothe workplace?
And initially it was honestlybringing arts and crafts.
I was like, can I come to youroffice on a Friday afternoon and
(01:14):
bring an arts and craftsproject, Something maybe we can
call a weave of dreams, where wetalk about people's dreams and
you do a yarn weave for a wallhanging?
Everyone said no, so I revampedit.
I looked at my past experiencesin learning, development, talent
development and thought howcould I combine my love for
(01:35):
creativity and my knowledge thatcreativity can bring so much
into adult learning and my pastexperiences?
And that's when I came up withWorkSmart Advantage and I
started tying these creativemethodologies to leadership,
development, team development.
And instead of calling my artprojects art projects, I started
calling them creative artifacts.
(01:56):
So now we do we still do thesame thing, You're still
painting a rock, but now it'scalled a creative artifact.
So that's like the shortversion of like how I got to the
business.
But then, of course, there'sall the stuff that led me there
too.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
That's fantastic and I love how just adapting and
changing the presentation, howyou present yourself and what
you do, can get you a totallydifferent outcome.
So just because you have anidea that isn't working well,
maybe just you got to put alittle twist on it or spin, and
that's amazing.
So you have an incredible lifestory, obviously in your whole
(02:31):
family and your mom andeverything she's been through
and done.
I don't know where to ask about, so I'm just going to ask in
general, what is the hardestmoment in your life when you
really realized that you neededto shift your mind and be more
positive and take control ofyour life?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
So I just to go way back, I am a Vietnamese refugee.
We came here.
Yesterday was the 50thanniversary of the fall of
Saigon and marks the 50thanniversary of when my family
came to this country, and youknow there was.
So there was a lot of hardmoments being a American kid
raised by Vietnamese refugeeparents.
There was certainly this ideaof like how I should be in the,
(03:12):
in the house, and how my myparents expected me to be, and
then this whole outside worldwith the experience and the
completely different of me.
So I think growing up there waslike a lot of lack of
confidence, a lot ofunderstanding who I was and just
looking to other places tofigure out how I should act and
and what that led me to wasdoing all the right things.
(03:33):
Right, I went to school.
I got straight A's.
I went to college not knowing,not knowing why I was going to
college.
Right, I studied biology.
Then I studied psychology and Iended up graduating with a
psychology degree, not thinkingthat I was going to be a
psychologist or go into thatfield at all.
It was just like it was easierthan biology.
And then, and you know, then Igot my MBA because that seemed
(03:55):
like the next right step to do.
So I found my and then got thecorporate jobs and sort of went
down that path.
And I think the question was,what was the hardest moment?
Where I really felt like Ineeded to make a change was when
my son was born.
He was eight weeks old at thetime.
So this tiny little baby and Iwas sitting on the couch in my
(04:17):
living room and I got a phonecall from my sister to get down
to the UCLA emergency room rightaway.
My brother, who was a policeofficer at the time, was in a
head-on collision on hismotorcycle with a tree.
So we got there and that led totwo months of him being an
induced coma in the ICU, andevery day we were there, the
whole family, you know hispolice department.
(04:41):
They had someone there 24 hoursand we were, you know, to be
with him, and then we came allevery day.
I think about it now.
Like it may was not the bestdecision to take an eight week
old baby to the ICU every day,um, but we didn't know what else
to do.
So we just sat there every day,walking around the halls of the
hospital waiting for him towake up.
And it was during that time, Ithink, all that time of silence
(05:02):
and not knowing what was next,that gave me a lot of time to
think about what am I doing withmy life.
I was in a job that was a good,a really good job, but it
wasn't for me.
I was really.
I had been unhappy for years.
I had had this idea for thisbusiness in my head for six
years, but too scared to moveforward with it.
And it was in that, you know, inthat moment of my seeing my
(05:26):
brother in that condition andthen holding this little eight
week old baby, and I thought tomyself you know, I want this boy
to see me grow up, see his momdo something she loves.
And clearly look at my brother.
My life is short Side note,he's perfectly fine I can't as
my brother brother's a miracle.
He woke up two and a halfmonths later.
(05:46):
The first thing he says I wantto get back to work.
And he worked for a whole year.
You know, resilience, grit likehard work, took the whole
physical test, become a policeofficer again and he went back
to work.
He's now retired and likefishing right now, I think.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
But Good for him.
Yeah, yeah, does itwell-deserved?
No, that's a great story andit's.
It's incredible how thosemoments, those life changing
moments where you're faced withyour mortality or a loved one's
mortality, that can really shiftyour mind and be like wow, I
really do have a limited amountof time on this earth.
(06:23):
We tend to forget that we putthings I'll do it later, I'll do
it tomorrow and we got to getbeyond that because we need to
live in the now and the present.
That's why I love Eckhart Tolleand the power of now.
That's a great book.
I don't know if you've read itor any of you listeners out
there please it's.
It's very empowering because yourealize everything is happening
(06:44):
right now so you can controlright now.
You don't have to worry aboutthe past or the future and live
in the present moment and findpeace.
But I want to touch back toyour story.
You said something about beingscared and having fear of that
dream.
Let's try and help thelisteners overcome fear, like
you obviously were able to inthat moment.
(07:06):
That was a life changing momentfor you and your family, but
you were able to overcome fear.
So let's talk about overcomingfear and going after a dream, a
business, a goal or whatever itmay be.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Sure.
So I think as human beings,like you said, we get so
comfortable in where we are, youknow in where we are and then
we get scared of anything else,right, Like if I make any
changes, like what, what wouldhappen?
And I think honestly I'm goingto just talk for me personally,
as a Vietnamese refugee andseeing the way I was and knowing
the way I was brought up andseeing my dad always scared
(07:41):
about making any changes Right,because when I think about it
now in hindsight like he had hiswhole world pulled from him and
dropped out from under him.
So of course he wanted the moststable conditions as possible,
and so that's how I grew up andthat's what I saw.
That was what I was modeled.
So for me, this idea ofrisk-taking was innately who I
(08:05):
am.
But also, you know, I wasbrought up not to take risks.
So there was a lot of fear inthat for me, because I thought
if I make any changes, like,when's the other shoe going to
drop?
That's that incident of mybrother.
(08:26):
You know, being in thatcondition, combined with having
a little baby, that really forme those two things in
combination made me drop thatfear and be like I'm just going
to go for this, but hopefullythat doesn't have to happen to
everybody, right?
Hopefully there's a way andthere must be a way that people
can get past that fear withoutsomething like that happening to
them.
And you know, this came a littlebit later when I wrote the book
(08:48):
.
You know what a Pace and Fly, aPractical Guide to Follow your
Curiosities.
In it I talk about a frameworkto follow your curiosities and I
think what most people do isthey think too, like you said,
they think too far in advance.
So I had this business in myhead for six years and I never
took one step because I keptlooking at that Like what is
this business going to look like10 years from now?
How is it going to besuccessful?
(09:09):
Where really all I had to dowas take that first small step
and see what opens up for me.
So I think, in terms of fear,if people are facing that fear,
don't think too far ahead.
Just think about what's thefirst small step I need to take
towards this new possibility orthis curiosity.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, you're right on taking that first step, that
that gets you moving andmovement is good.
And when you're moving then youcan start to build momentum.
And, believe it or not, onceyou start it gets easier Doesn't
mean it's going to be easy thewhole time Right.
Being an entrepreneur is tough.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Being an entrepreneur is not like taking an uphill
climb right.
It's definitely ups and downsall the time, no matter how
successful you are exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
It's a roller coaster .
You get curveballs, but that'slife.
The struggle is real foreverybody and I think, listeners
, that's what you need torealize.
You're not alone.
Everybody has these struggles.
It's part of the humancondition.
You got this and fear.
I love this.
I forget where I heard it, butit's false evidence appearing
real.
You're projecting, like yousaid.
It is something that you werethinking way ahead into the
(10:10):
future and in reality, thatwasn't where you were at.
You were here and now and youcan make those changes and start
taking the steps to then get towherever in the future.
So I think that's fantastic.
So part of fear is it's anobstacle to overcome.
Let's talk about obstacles andhow to overcome obstacles.
(10:30):
I love how you have yourcuriosity and creativity or the
artwork or the arts and crafts.
Please share with overcomingproblems and using creativity to
actually solve a problem orovercome a challenge in one's
life.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Sure.
So if you, if we really thinkabout how we overcome challenges
, is through creativity.
Right, it's through doingsomething different.
And I don't mean like, oh,you're going to overcome a
challenge by by, you know,weaving dreams or painting a
rock, like that's not thecreativity I'm talking about,
like when I teach creativity inthe workplace and when I teach
it for creative problem solving.
It's a thinking tool Like howcan we think differently?
(11:11):
As adults, we tend to think inanalytical left brain thinking
and our perspective is like thisright, it's tunnel vision.
Here's how we've fixed thingsin the past, here's how we've
done things in the past.
So let's just keep doing itthat way.
And what these create, whatthese creative problem solving
ideas and tools helps with, islike let's just expand our
thinking, like what else ispossible?
(11:33):
Asking questions like what if?
How might we?
So, when I talk aboutcreativity in the workplace or
creativity in life to solveproblems, it's really about
expanding thinking.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I love that because we need to expand our minds.
If you want to grow, that'swhat you have to do.
You have to step out behind,out from your comfort zone, and
get out behind the shadows andget out front in the spotlight.
Sometimes and it's tough- forpeople because we're worried
about criticism, and let's talkabout that right now.
People that challenge you oryou know you get criticized.
(12:09):
How do you overcome that in theworld?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Well, can I go back to the creative thinking for a
second?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Sure absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Just because I think I don't want to leave it out
there, because I feel like a lotof times we hear all the time
like let's think more creatively, let's be more innovative, but
then people are left with like,um, if I could, I would right
it's like I don't know how, soso I think that's the where
where the work I bring intoorganizations it fills in that
gap between like, let's be morecreative everyone, because we
(12:39):
need creativity and and thenjust leaving them alone, right.
So the example if people arelistening and they have a
challenge, they're overcoming aproblem, vetting an opportunity.
There's certain creativethinking tools that you can use,
like one is one I love I thinkI may have shared this on
another podcast is the worstidea ever.
So think about like, let's sayyou're overcoming a challenge
(13:02):
and to get over that fear, thinklike what's the worst idea ever
I could think of to solve thischallenge?
Or what's the worst idea everthat could, what's the worst
thing that could happen?
And then switch that questionand think about like what's the
best thing that could happen?
Or you know, what's theopposite of this worst idea?
That might actually help metake that first small step.
So that's just one of manycreative problem solving tools
(13:27):
that I use to get people to to,like we said, expand that
thinking, but literally not justasking them to expand their
thinking, but give them tangible, practical, usable tools that
are going to allow them to do so.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yes, asking the right questions is so important.
That's why I love your what if?
That what if is great, becausepeople do focus on the things
that could go bad.
It's a survival technique withour minds and you know we need
to look out for the bad thingthat could hurt us.
Right?
What if the good thing happened?
And I also talk about the how doI?
(13:58):
Mentality, instead of like oh,I can't, you know, when you're
talking about creativity.
That's why I love the what ifit's very similar to how do I?
And to get to the how do I, youneed creativity.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yes, absolutely.
And you know when you're,whether it's for yourself or in
a team, that's the.
That's one tool I always teachpeople, like if you walk away
with nothing else, when you'retrying to solve a challenge,
overcome you know a problem.
Don't just state the problem,be like okay, so how?
Like what are we going to doabout this?
State it as a how might wequestion?
Right, how might we solve forthis?
(14:29):
That just that that opens upthe.
You start by opening up forpossibilities versus sitting in
that that challenge.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yes, and don't be afraid to take action and move
and be creative, because I thinka lot of people you know
they're afraid to put themselvesout there and they have
self-doubt or they oppressthemselves with their own
thinking.
And what are some tools thatyou use to help people open up
and actually share and be ableto ask these questions?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
So okay, so I I mean I guess like the good answer to
that one are some of the um I'mgoing to talk, talk about the
mindset tool first and then I'lltalk about some of the creative
tools.
So when I am in that positionwhere I'm like, should I do this
, should I not do this?
And I get in my head too muchabout um, about what people are
going to think there's there'stwo tools.
Number one I think about likeokay, you think about what I'm
(15:19):
thinking about doing and thiswhole idea of like I mean it
might seem, might seem a littlelike woo, woo, but it's like
where.
Like how does that feel in mybody, right?
Does it feel heavy or does itfeel light?
Is it a hell, yes, in my bodyor a hell, no, in my body, right
?
So if it's a yes, then go forit and leave out all that other
stuff that's in your head aboutlike, what are people going to
(15:39):
think?
Are people going to judge me?
How does it feel to you in yourbody?
That's always the right choiceas far as I'm concerned.
Another tool I use that's maybea little more linear is this
idea of reframing right?
It can be a challenge, it couldbe a mindset, but really like
literally write it down.
(16:00):
Let's say, you're thinking likeI have this in my this, I have
this, actually a exercise onthis in my book, this reframe
exercise.
What is it you're trying toaccomplish?
I wrote for mine like I want towrite a book.
Or you know, I want to write abook.
That was my, that's what I wantto do, my and that book took
four years to write because mymindset at first was like I
(16:30):
don't know how to write a book,who am I to write a book?
Right?
So that's in column one, columntwo.
Two is a reframe of that, ofokay, I don't know how to write
a book yet and I can figure outhow.
And then the third column isyour evidence Like, okay, what
have I figured out how to do inthe past?
And you can write.
You know, like I learned tosurf, I learned to do stained
glass, make a stained glasswindow.
I started a business.
I didn't know any of thosethings but I did it.
So then it gives you theencouragement and the confidence
(16:50):
to go and write that book.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
That's fantastic.
That is a great practicalexercise.
People you need to be doingexercises like that.
Find a technique, a question,something that you can journal
or whatever it may be.
Pros and cons list evensomething that simple and it's.
It's incredible how powerfuldoing things like that can be it
(17:13):
truly is, because we can be.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
we can get so in our heads Like I'm an overthinker
and you know I like to call itlike like trying to recover from
being a people pleaser fromgrowing up in my childhood.
So sometimes I'll send an emailout and I won't get a response,
especially for, like a client.
I'm like, oh my gosh, they hateme.
And you're like, okay, what'sreally happening here?
(17:35):
Okay, you sent an email threeminutes ago and they haven't
responded yet.
Most likely they don't hate you.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Most likely they're busy.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
We can go down these rabbit holes of overthinking.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
No, absolutely, and that's something we need to
learn and it's a skill anybodycan learn.
You know it comes easier forsome people, but it's definitely
possible for anybody to learnthese skills and that's what's
so great.
You just have to have thedetermination or the motivation
and the why to go after it.
So let's talk about whys.
You had no-transcript.
(18:17):
What if someone doesn't havethat new baby, or they don't
necessarily know what their whyis?
How would you help them findtheir why?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I think a why.
It can be a really hardquestion, right, especially when
we're inundated with so many, Iwould say, obstacles and also
responsibilities.
So, same thing, same idea, aswe talked about about before, it
was like so people say like,follow your passion to find that
(18:46):
why.
I and I I kind of revamped thatto be like like follow what
you're curious about, right,like just follow your
curiosities and and that mightlead you to your why.
I would say that my why cameabout it.
You know the why of startingthe business and actually taking
that leap was because of that,you know, of having my son,
seeing my brother in thatposition.
(19:08):
But really it was afterstarting the business I realized
like, oh you know, that was mywhy I started the business.
But my why for the businesscame about from doing the
business.
So initially it was I want tobring creativity into the
workplace.
Arts and crafts, everyone'screative.
I want everyone to get theirhands on things.
Because I found how importantcreativity was in my life and
(19:31):
what I realized as I was runningthe business is it's not so
much about the hands-on creativeart projects and the work we do
in terms of I guess it bringspeople joy because we are all
innately creative.
So when you allow people to tapinto their creativity,
something lights up in them.
Yes, all that, but what I foundin doing this work in the
workplace is that when you giveteams and people the space to be
(19:54):
creative, what you're doing isallowing people to share their
voice right, giving peopledifferent ways, different
modalities, so all voices makingthe table.
Everyone feels that they canshare, their psychological
safety being built, there'strust being built.
So I would say that you followyour curiosity and take those
small steps.
Your why will show up along theway.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I love that.
I really do.
I think that's fantastic.
And that goes with getting outof your comfort zone Like you
had to make a change.
You didn't fully know your whyat that point, but getting out
of your comfort zone and youwere growing, that then exposed
your why and you got to learn.
So definitely getting out ofyour comfort zone is so
important.
(20:36):
Is there anywhere else in yourcareer or life that you've seen
where stepping out of yourcomfort zone has actually made
some big changes and growth foryou?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
um, let me think so.
So I'm just gonna.
One thing that comes to my mindwas and I I hear I'm gonna
share this, I hear this a lotfrom people is um, especially, I
don't know, we, I work withtransitioning veterans.
I don't know if you know thatpart of my story with the Honor
Foundation, so you know this.
So transitioning veterans andjust other people who come into
(21:10):
you know who book calls methey're.
One thing is like I don't knowhow to make myself visible.
Like I'm not comfortable makingmyself visible, like like doing
things on LinkedIn, posting onInstagram, whatever it is,
making videos, and the realityis like that's, that's the way
the world works right now.
Like, if you want to be visible, if you want to elevate
(21:30):
yourself, you have to get out ofthat comfort zone of like just
not being seen, and so I wouldsay that is the one thing I
would talk about.
So when I first started mybusiness, I used to make a joke
about this, but it really wasn'ta joke.
I'm like okay, why isn't mybusiness growing?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
And the joke was like oh, maybe it's because only me
and my mom know about it Rightand she still thinks.
I'm a doctor.
That's funny, which I never was.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
But she just likes to say I am so so yeah, so so, so
I.
But now, it's probably aboutseven years ago, I sat down with
a friend of mine who was atthat time she called herself a
collaboration coach and she'slike well, what are you trying
to accomplish this year?
It's like, well, I'd love togrow my business, you know, and
be on more podcasts to grow mybusiness.
And she's like okay, so here'swhat you can do.
(22:12):
You're going to go home rightnow and you're going to put a
post on LinkedIn that says I'mlooking to expand the growth of
my business.
Who has a podcast that wouldwant to talk about curiosity,
creativity, whatever it is?
And I was nodding at herbecause I'm a people pleaser,
right?
Like yep, I'm going to do that.
And in my head it's like there'sno way, no way in the world,
(22:35):
I'm ever going to do that.
Right, this idea of like askingfor help and then putting it
out there in public not going tohappen.
The other thing she told me todo is make a like start making
these small 30 second videos onLinkedIn.
And also I nodded my head, butinside I was going not a chance.
But since she was a really goodfriend and coach.
She's like have you done it?
Have you done it, have you doneit?
So eventually I had to do itand, just for the people out
(22:58):
there who are struggling in thatposition right now, I got
probably five or six podcasts,episodes, bookings from that
post and that 30 second video.
The first 30 second video Imade took about seven and a half
hours, but now you follow me onLinkedIn or connect on LinkedIn
.
You see, I'm on there every day, maybe twice a day, because I
(23:21):
understand now, because I'veexperienced it, the power of
visibility.
And the other thing to get overthat too, I believe, is this
idea like you don't put yourselfout there for yourself, right,
you put out there if you have astrong message to share with
people and you can bring valueto people's lives.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I love that and that's what brought me.
I mean, you work with veteransso you kind of know guys with me
and my background.
You don't necessarily like tobe in the spotlight sometimes.
Absolutely my community quietprofessional and I used to
interpret that as silentprofessional.
So I need to.
Quiet was silent and I wasactually on a podcast myself and
(23:58):
I heard no quiet professionalisn't a silent professional.
I'm like, oh, that clicked forme and that's why I started
putting myself out there alittle more.
And I still need to do it more.
I need to grow and I think weall do a little bit.
But you are absolutely spot onand I love the things you're
saying and sharing.
I think a lot of our listenersare going to be able to relate
(24:19):
and understand, and you touchedon something earlier that I want
to go back, to, which you saidyour body feels a certain way.
Let's talk about gut feelings,or some people call like
spiritual guidance, like insideyou have this calling or drive.
How do you recognize that?
And then how do you, can youuse that to apply it in your
(24:41):
life?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
So my book in my book I talk about like this idea of
the framework.
I'm going to tell you my wholebook right now.
It's just three things, right.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
No, there's more to it.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Pause and pay attention to the curiosities
that come to you, ask what if?
And then take small steps.
So that first part is soimportant.
The first part is that pauseand what you just talked about
is like where do I?
You know, here's the idea,here's the situation.
Can we take a second and justpause and not react or respond?
And where, like, how does thatfeel?
(25:14):
And it's such a hard questionwhen you first start asking
yourself, where do I feel it inmy body?
Because that's not how we're,you know, brought up or trained
or groomed.
I guess you say we're like whatdo you think about that?
Right?
What do you think?
And there was a podcast I'msorry forget who this was, but
they talked about anxiety, asyou can't think yourself out of
(25:36):
anxiety, right?
Because anxiety starts in thebody.
So you have to take some actionto get out of that anxiety go
for a run, take a walk, whateverit is.
So that's how I think about youknow, when something comes up,
an idea, a curiosity, asituation, if we can pause and
be like okay and get back tolike okay, where do I feel this
(25:58):
and how does it feel?
How does it feel in my body?
Not what I'm, I'm thinkingabout, but how do I feel?
How does it feel in my body?
What's tightening, what'sloosening, whatever it might be,
if we can start recognizing it.
That's what I think of a gutreaction.
So I don't even think it'smystical, really.
It's actually a physiologicalchange in your body that you
(26:18):
that.
It's science.
So we're just not trained to,we're not trained to pause and
we're not trained to acknowledge.
Acknowledge that we're trainedto think ourselves out of things
.
So it's a practice and I'm notgreat at it because I'm a I'm an
overreactor, for sure.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Don't beat yourself up, you're you're doing amazing
things.
So I want to share somethingwith you, because you talked
about pause.
I use sometimes I'm helpingpeople or coaching Stop, just
stop.
Stop, think, observe and thenplan or proceed.
Either way, you can use thoseP's so that's a good acronym to
(26:57):
use to help trigger and peopleto remember.
Ok, I don't want to just reactand stop, so cause, you'll feel
that in your body.
Like you said, if you'regetting anxious and you're
getting anxiety, you need torecognize that.
Have that self-awareness andthen bam, all right, pause or
stop.
So that's great, great advice.
(27:17):
I think the listeners are goingto get a lot from that but it's
a practice.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Right, it's a practice.
Oh yes, it's not like you'regoing to just get it.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Yeah.
So I was asking earlier aboutgetting out of your comfort zone
and I was thinking the way youwere going with social media and
exposure, whatnot.
Let's hear about this TED talkthat you were on.
That's like out there andfantastic and eye opening,
educational, so that must'vebeen a big step and leap for you
(27:46):
.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Absolutely Okay.
So so let me just like I.
I am out there doing goodthings in the world.
But let me tell you like a lotof these things started off
because I was being selfish,right Like the TEDx talk.
I was like, okay, I want toagain, I want to grow my
business.
How do I get more visibility?
And again TEDx was in my headfor a few years as a business
owner, I was like I want to do aTEDx talk and I was going to do
(28:10):
it on creativity, but there'sso many amazing people who've
already done a talk oncreativity.
I was like who am I to, right?
So I had that, that limitingbelief of who am I too.
So I was at this event inAnaheim with my mom.
So my mom, our story is we camein from Vietnam, our first home
was Camp Pounders Marine Basein San Diego, and then we were
(28:32):
transferred to a refugee centerup in Northern California that
was run by civilians, and one ofthe volunteers was Hollywood
movie star Tippi Hedren, mostfamously known for her role in
the Bird Alfred Hicks' moviemost famously known for her role
in the Bird Alfred Hitchcock'smovie, the Birds.
So her role was to help thesewomen find a career in this new
country.
And she started typing andsewing class and 20 women signed
(28:52):
up, including my mom, and asthey were typing and sewing,
she'd walk around the roomencouraging them and they
noticed her long red manicurenails.
So, long story short, that leddown to this path of following
curiosity for them to become thefirst 20 licensed Vietnamese
manicures in the United Statesand now $8.3 billion industry.
So I was in Anaheim at acelebration for my mom and Tippi
(29:14):
and as my mom was on stage, I'mlike this is my TEDx talk.
Right, this is my TEDx talksabout curiosity, creativity and
when you follow your curiositywith creativity, what can you
accomplish?
Like, what like, whatpossibilities can you create for
yourself and others?
So, because I was clear now onwhat my talk was, things again,
(29:36):
things just started happening.
So it was on my computer onenight on LinkedIn, scrolling
LinkedIn, and I saw anadvertisement from this woman I
had met at a conference once,four years ago.
She's producing a TEDx talk.
It's called TEDx Women Missionof Mavericks in Anaheim and they
had all their speakers lined upand they were selling tickets.
(29:57):
So I bought a ticket to attend,thinking like, well, that would
have been a great spot for meto tell this story.
And I walked away and there itwas, that little idea tapping me
on the shoulders like, well,what if you could speak on that
stage?
You know like.
So I went back to my computer,typed up a little email telling
her what I want to talk about,and a little while later she
reached back out and said we'dlove for you to tell that story
(30:19):
on our stage.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
So fantastic, that's, that's great.
And taking the initiative, youknow to reach out, you could
have just limited yourself andbe like, oh, they already have
the speakers.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Taking that initiative.
That's inspiring and I wantpeople to understand that.
You know, taking a littleinitiative, sending an email,
making a phone call saying hi,building a relationship with
somebody can be completely lifechanging for you and your family
, can be completelylife-changing for you and your
family.
And can you talk about that ina sense?
As far as networking, gettingto know people, surrounding
(30:56):
yourself with good people, howhas that changed you?
Speaker 2 (31:06):
how you interact with others.
So I've always been no, Ishouldn't say this when I was a
little kid I was so, was so shyand talk to anyone, right?
I like to hide behind my mom'sum legs going out.
I don't know when I became moreextroverted, but I am actually
more.
I would say I'm moreintroverted than extroverted, um
, but I think I think for mereally starting to reach out,
(31:27):
starting to reach out to people,particularly for business on
LinkedIn and meeting people Well, I think it connects to knowing
what your why is, knowing whatyour passion is Like.
As I started to develop a clearpath to what I wanted to do with
my business, or not even aclear path of what I want to do,
but like, but the why behind it, bring creativity into the
(31:50):
workplace, changing, learning,development, doing things
differently and putting my voiceout.
There, it almost was.
I didn't have to try to attractthose people into my life.
It was.
I didn't have to try to findthose people in life.
I just attracted them by thisidea of like, being the
lighthouse, being who you areauthentically and having a
message to share that's going toimpact other people.
(32:11):
I found that, that people weredrawn to that, and I would just
meet people on LinkedIn atnetworking events who who really
took to what I was saying and Itook to what they were saying
too.
I don't know if that reallyanswers the question, but it's.
But I find myself surrounded bypeople who understand the work
(32:32):
I do and who do similar work,but maybe a little bit
differently.
So there's a lot ofcollaboration there.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
No, I love it and that's one of the concepts I
talk about in the asset mindsetis you got to get out there and
surround yourself with positivepeople in positive environments.
It's not just the people, youneed to be in these good
environments too.
So that's absolutely spot onand I think that's fantastic,
that you have the ability to dothat and the motivation, because
(32:58):
motivation is so important, andwith motivation, I want to get
into and transition tomentorship.
Have you had anybody reallyhelp mentor you and what is the
power of a mentor?
Or are you mentoring anybody?
Speaker 2 (33:11):
So it's so.
I'm going to start by sayingthat I didn't know what a mentor
was.
Right, it's like.
It's like there's somethingabout my friend, Hank Black,
who's also a Vietnamese refugee,wrote a book about this right,
about immigrant women in theworkplace, and and we did things
very differently than than I.
Well, let me put it this way,we did things the way we knew
(33:32):
how to do things, which was I'mjust going to work hard, and if
that doesn't work, I'm going tohunker down and work harder, and
if that doesn't work, I'm goingto hunker down more and work
harder.
Right, there's no looking forhelp, no-transcript give me some
(34:31):
advice, and some people stickaround and some people don't.
And as far as me being a mentor, I am not part of any type of
mentorship program, but there'sa lot of people I meet out there
who ask me about the work I do,and I'm happy to have cups of
coffee, conversation withanybody who's interested in in
(34:51):
learning, learning, learningfrom me, of whatever I might
know.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
That's fantastic and that's one of the things I want
people to understand is itdoesn't have to be an official
mentor title, Like you sittingdown with coffee.
You know, having coffee withsomeone that's curious about
what you do or wants to learnabout curiosity, like right
there, you're mentoring.
So mentorship comes alldifferent forms, all different
(35:16):
places and most people are gladto share their knowledge and
their mentorship.
At least I've found that.
Have you found that as well?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And it goes back to what wesaid just before about the
network.
It's similar to the networkingthat you were talking about, and
building that network is youjust have to ask, and that's a
muscle to be built, too right.
I used to feel so scared to askpeople for anything, but as you
start reaching out and asking,what you'll find is, yeah, some
(35:45):
people may never get back to youand the right ones will.
That's like the mindset shiftI've had to make.
Is anything that's meant for mewill come to me, right?
So if I reach out to someonewho I really want to talk to and
they never reach back out to me, like OK, well, there's a
reason for that.
Things are happening for me,not to me.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I love that and I think everybody, all our
listeners, need to realize thatas well.
You can't beat yourself up andif it's meant to be, it'll be.
Just keep doing you, chasingyour dreams, following what you
want, and that's a prime exampleof that.
Because you don't want toobsess over things, you don't
(36:30):
want to be in that victimmentality like, oh, I did
something wrong and that's whythey're not answering me, or you
know, I'm not worthy, or thesenegative, oppressive thoughts in
your head and I think mostpeople when they're first
starting, that's when it's themost powerful.
So I know you talked aboutwriting things down and
reframing.
Is there anything else as faras maybe reframing tricks, like
(36:50):
just in your head rather thanwriting it down?
What can someone do to fightthat in the middle of the day,
all of a sudden they have thisvictim mentality or this thought
come in their head.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah.
So I think if people have somesort of mantra they can talk
about.
But I've been listening to this, this podcast.
His name is David Guyam and hetalks a lot about certainty,
right?
So, and I find that like for me, like that's something that I
have been using a lot in termsof, if I'm walking my dogs and I
don't have a piece of paper andpen, if I get into that thought
(37:22):
of like oh, why hasn't thishappened?
Or or you know, like whatever,whatever.
Like that negative thought is,I'm like okay, I'm just I'm just
going to pause and be like I amcertain that things are going
to work out Right, I'm justcertain that this is like,
whatever it might be, I'mcertain that my business is
going to grow and there's justthis power in certainty.
So that's like a very simpleone for me is like I'm walking
(37:43):
around, I can feel myselfstarting to to be overwhelmed,
or, or, you know, just starting,my, my side goes okay, I'm just
certain this is going to workout.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
I love that you got such great techniques.
You can tell you've been onthis mindset growth mindset for
a while and you're sharing realknowledge, so Can I share one
more?
Absolutely, please do.
That's why you're here.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Absolutely, please do .
That's why you're here.
So I, I guess, I think, being afemale entrepreneur, you know,
and having to talk to a lot ofCEOs, coos in this, one day I
(38:28):
went to visit my friend Dan andhis wife in Kentucky and he had
opened up this, the biggestdistillery in Kentucky, and we
went and he took me around.
I can see people going, likeCal.
I can see that they felt abouthim the way I felt about CEOs,
cfos, and I thought to myselfit's just Dan.
(38:49):
Right, in college, Dan used tolike go fishing and make me
Cheeto crusted fried fish.
Now, if I look at people I workwith, that we're all human
beings Like that CEO is justsomeone's Dan who probably you
know, he probably cooked someonesome Cheeto crusted fried fish
at some point.
You know, just treat them likethat.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
No, I love it, and that that's a great point.
You know someone that you'reyou're nervous or scared to be
around, or you think that's inthis higher up level position.
You know what they're a persontoo.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Somebody's brother, sister, mother, you know, dad
whatever it may be, they're justa person.
We're all human beings.
We're all on this journey oflife, so that's that's fantastic
.
I love that.
That was a super powerful one,and thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
You're welcome.
Why don't you try that recipefor your family?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
I'm a carnivore.
I only eat meat.
I'm that crazy guy.
I'm reverse vegan.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Interesting Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, I got a farm with cows and chickens.
I eat my own eggs.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
We raise our own beef , okay, so we need to talk more
about that because you know, ifyou ask me what's next for me is
I'm on a farm do you great,yeah, awesome, any?
uh, particular things on thefarm that you'd like to have
yeah, I mean, I mean it soundsridiculous, but in fact I think
is like the most ridiculousthings can be a reality.
So I don't plan on eating anyof my animals, but I want a mini
(40:12):
animal farm.
I want some mini cows, somemini goats, some mini donkeys
and an art studio for arts andcrafts, particularly making
stained glass.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Fantastic no, that's great.
I love the dream and I lovethat you're putting it out there
.
We want a dream in highdefinition.
Fantastic, no, that's great.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I love, I love the dream and I love that you're
putting it out there.
We want to dream in highdefinition.
You know you don't want to,just not to say I'm not getting
my, I'm not getting my ownanimals, but I do.
I do eat meat.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Well, it's funny you say that because I have three
kids and my daughters areyounger and we have our pet
chickens and layer chickens.
But then we'll raise our meatbirds and that's what we call
them.
They're meat birds, so theydifferentiate and they
understand.
And then you know our cowsthey're having a hard time with,
especially.
We had four babies born.
I don't have a large herd, butwe had four calves this year and
(41:00):
they're like can we keep themall?
And I'm like we're going tokeep most of them.
Yeah, um, six.
And the next one is turningnine on may fourth.
She's, uh, three days away frombeing nine.
I can't get over she's halfwayto 18.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
No way, yes incredible that's.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
There's something about that date around me.
Now you, my daughter's bornthat day, my uncle's born that
day, may 4th, and my cousin soyou're now like yes.
So yes.
Yeah, and around me like Idon't know that many people that
have my birthday.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
So interesting, right ?
Yeah, I'm not a numerologist.
Cheers what your May 4th babyis like.
What's her personality yeah,I'm not a numerologist, cheers
when your May 4th baby is like,what's her personality?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Big, big, giant heart , huge heart, loving, kind
giving.
But because she has such a bigheart, she gets hurt easily.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
So I've been working with her and her mindset.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I'm like you have a big brain.
You've been gifted with a smartbrain that can help you with
your emotions and your heart forwhen?
Because she'll be like I triedto be kind at school and I
wanted to share something andpeople didn't want my help and
I'm like, well, sometimes youdon't want help, you know, and
that will upset her because inher mind, I'm trying to be
helpful.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
I'm trying to be kind .
Yes, so many beautiful lifelessons.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Oh yeah, yeah it's, and my youngest is totally
different.
It's incredible the minds thatwe're all individual and how we
think our spirit inside, becausemy youngest is six but if
there's a bug or something likethat, the two sisters have made
a deal where the youngest is theprotector and she will go get
the bug and get rid of the bugs,but the uh oldest hazel will.
(42:49):
If there's a coyote or foxes orwhatever I'll, I'll protect you
from animals, wild animals, youprotect me from bugs I love
childhood deals.
That's wonderful yeah, it's,it's great and it's just seeing
how the mind grows and theychange and you know they're,
they're working together.
It's a beautiful thing and Ilove being a dad it's, it's the
best job in the world.
It's the hardest job, but it'sabsolutely the best, absolutely
(43:12):
I can tell you.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
You take it with heart and seriously like this,
like that's, that's like, that'sa serious role, right yes, oh,
absolutely so.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Uh, let's go back a little bit where we've gone off
track, but I could talk aboutfarms and animals and stuff yeah
I want to.
If you went back in time okay,Say your college self what would
you share for knowledge withyour college self that you've
now grown and learned and you'relike boy?
(43:40):
I wish I could, you know, haveknown that earlier.
What would you share?
What message would you send?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Oh my gosh.
So that's going a little kindof far back.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Hey, I'm a seventies child too.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
So, um, oh my, I think of myself in college, and
it was still the time where Iwas like I was like how do I
please everyone else?
Right, who can I be?
Um, just like everyone else.
So I would.
I would say be yourself, right,you.
You are enough and believe inyourself, have self-confidence.
And I have a 12 year old sonand that is the one thing that
(44:15):
I'm always very um.
I mean, there's a lot of thingsyou have to teach your kids,
but for me it was like if I caninstill self-confidence in this
kid, he can do anything.
And that's when something I didnot grow up with.
So I go, I go back to mycollege self, I would go, and
what I do every day with my sonis like how do I make him more
confident, self-confident today?
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Oh, that's fantastic.
Those are powerful, powerfulwords, because I think you know,
we all achieve that atdifferent ages and I think some
people actually, sad to say,never achieve self-confidence.
They've always and will alwaysstruggle with that.
So if you're out there andyou're struggling with it,
you're not alone and you can doit.
Realize that you have the powerand you are special and you
(44:58):
have your talents and skills andeverybody's different.
Find yours.
What are you curious in and Ithink you nailed that right
there with just taking ownership.
So how can taking ownershipdrastically change someone's
life?
Like, how does it affect theirday to day?
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Well, I think, internally, it just makes you
feel more empowered, right?
If you take ownership oversomething, you take ownership
away from everything else aroundyou.
And what else can you controlbut yourself?
Right?
There's nothing, there's notmuch we can control ourselves,
and most of us aren't even verygood at that, me included.
(45:40):
So I think taking ownershipreally, really allows you to
make decisions and act on itwithout thinking about like,
without thinking about like this, what we just talked about,
what other people are thinkingabout you and that can make a
huge difference in your outcome.
Right?
This idea of your and this is acoaching model it's like your
(46:01):
thoughts create your actions andyour actions create your
results.
So, if you think you ownsomething, you can take action
like you own it, and then theresults are yours.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yeah, I love that.
It all starts in the head andthose actions and actions create
habits and habits createresults.
So you know that's fantasticand please anybody listening,
pause, go in the description andplease check out.
You know what if pigs could flyand there's all kinds of links.
If you want any coaching or youneed any assistance and you
(46:34):
want to get with Von Lai, youcan absolutely reach out to her.
She's amazing and please do,because she could change your
business, she could change yourmindset, she could change your
life.
So, also, I would like to askyou to like, follow and
subscribe to the Asset MindsetPodcast and if you're getting
something from this episode,please share it with someone
(46:55):
else that you think could alsoget something from that.
So, to come to the end, what isthe one thing that you would
like to share or that you couldput out there in the world?
You had a magic wand and belike I want to help everybody
you know in their mindset andthe way they think.
I think we might've alreadyjust touched on it a little bit
(47:17):
for an answer, but what wouldthat thing that you would love
to be able to gift everybody intheir mind for their mindset?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Oh, we, we.
We have covered a lot, a lot ofit, Ray.
So I'm going to go back to abook I read a while back called
it was called the ProsperousCoach and I used it.
I read it when I very firststarted my business and, even
though I don't do one-on-onecoaching I do more group
facilitations it's still a bookthat really helps people who are
(47:45):
entrepreneurs, who are tryingto do something different, and
it's just this idea, it's almostlike that.
That what we talked about forthis idea like what can you say
to yourself is start and keepgoing.
Right, Whatever you're tryingto accomplish, start and keep
going, and if you need to pivot,pivot, but just don't stop.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
I love it.
Keep moving, take action.
Don't lose momentum Once youstart rolling.
Think of it as a freight train.
You know you get that trainrolling.
It takes a lot to get it goingbut it takes a lot to stop it.
So if you're moving forward,yeah, sometimes you might have
to move sideways and around, butjust keep moving, because
that's what it's all about andthat's growth.
And don't beat yourself up ifyou make mistakes.
(48:23):
That's the first attempt inlearning.
And, once again, thank you forbeing on the podcast.
It's been absolutely amazing.
I love your laugh, I love yoursmile, I love all the positive
energy that you bring to theshow and to the people you work
with.
You're doing amazing things inthe world and you do have the
asset mindset and you don't haveto be special forces to have
the asset mindset because thetruth is the truth and you're
(48:46):
amazing positive person, sothanks again.
And all the listeners.
Once again, please like, followand subscribe the Asset Mindset
.
You can find us ontheassetmindsetcom.
You can find us on YouTube,spotify and all the other places
you'd love to get your podcasts.
Have a wonderful day.
God bless and own your power.
You.
Today on the Asset Mindset podcast, we have a very
special guest, a strong woman,an inspiring woman who is
changing the world with hercuriosity.
Today's special guest is VonLai DeMont, and what a pleasure
it is to have you here and youhave so many things you've done.
I mean TED Talks CEO.
(00:30):
I love that.
You're an author and what ifpigs could fly?
A practical guide to followyour curiosities to achieve
impractical possibilities.
So I love that, because I'm allabout mindset growth and
changing.
So please tell us a little bitabout yourself and what you do
and what you're planning ondoing in the future too.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Sure.
So you said a lot of it.
I started this business about10, maybe 11 years ago almost 11
years ago and what I do is mycuriosity at the time was how do
I bring more creativity intothe workplace?
And initially it was honestlybringing arts and crafts.
I was like, can I come to youroffice on a Friday afternoon and
(01:14):
bring an arts and craftsproject, Something maybe we can
call a weave of dreams, where wetalk about people's dreams and
you do a yarn weave for a wallhanging?
Everyone said no, so I revampedit.
I looked at my past experiencesin learning, development, talent
development and thought howcould I combine my love for
(01:35):
creativity and my knowledge thatcreativity can bring so much
into adult learning and my pastexperiences?
And that's when I came up withWorkSmart Advantage and I
started tying these creativemethodologies to leadership,
development, team development.
And instead of calling my artprojects art projects, I started
calling them creative artifacts.
(01:56):
So now we do we still do thesame thing, You're still
painting a rock, but now it'scalled a creative artifact.
So that's like the shortversion of like how I got to the
business.
But then, of course, there'sall the stuff that led me there
too.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
That's fantastic and I love how just adapting and
changing the presentation, howyou present yourself and what
you do, can get you a totallydifferent outcome.
So just because you have anidea that isn't working well,
maybe just you got to put alittle twist on it or spin, and
that's amazing.
So you have an incredible lifestory, obviously in your whole
(02:31):
family and your mom andeverything she's been through
and done.
I don't know where to ask about, so I'm just going to ask in
general, what is the hardestmoment in your life when you
really realized that you neededto shift your mind and be more
positive and take control ofyour life?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
So I just to go way back, I am a Vietnamese refugee.
We came here.
Yesterday was the 50thanniversary of the fall of
Saigon and marks the 50thanniversary of when my family
came to this country, and youknow there was.
So there was a lot of hardmoments being a American kid
raised by Vietnamese refugeeparents.
There was certainly this ideaof like how I should be in the,
(03:12):
in the house, and how my myparents expected me to be, and
then this whole outside worldwith the experience and the
completely different of me.
So I think growing up there waslike a lot of lack of
confidence, a lot ofunderstanding who I was and just
looking to other places tofigure out how I should act and
and what that led me to wasdoing all the right things.
(03:33):
Right, I went to school.
I got straight A's.
I went to college not knowing,not knowing why I was going to
college.
Right, I studied biology.
Then I studied psychology and Iended up graduating with a
psychology degree, not thinkingthat I was going to be a
psychologist or go into thatfield at all.
It was just like it was easierthan biology.
And then, and you know, then Igot my MBA because that seemed
(03:55):
like the next right step to do.
So I found my and then got thecorporate jobs and sort of went
down that path.
And I think the question was,what was the hardest moment?
Where I really felt like Ineeded to make a change was when
my son was born.
He was eight weeks old at thetime.
So this tiny little baby and Iwas sitting on the couch in my
(04:17):
living room and I got a phonecall from my sister to get down
to the UCLA emergency room rightaway.
My brother, who was a policeofficer at the time, was in a
head-on collision on hismotorcycle with a tree.
So we got there and that led totwo months of him being an
induced coma in the ICU, andevery day we were there, the
whole family, you know hispolice department.
(04:41):
They had someone there 24 hoursand we were, you know, to be
with him, and then we came allevery day.
I think about it now.
Like it may was not the bestdecision to take an eight week
old baby to the ICU every day,um, but we didn't know what else
to do.
So we just sat there every day,walking around the halls of the
hospital waiting for him towake up.
And it was during that time, Ithink, all that time of silence
(05:02):
and not knowing what was next,that gave me a lot of time to
think about what am I doing withmy life.
I was in a job that was a good,a really good job, but it
wasn't for me.
I was really.
I had been unhappy for years.
I had had this idea for thisbusiness in my head for six
years, but too scared to moveforward with it.
And it was in that, you know, inthat moment of my seeing my
(05:26):
brother in that condition andthen holding this little eight
week old baby, and I thought tomyself you know, I want this boy
to see me grow up, see his momdo something she loves.
And clearly look at my brother.
My life is short Side note,he's perfectly fine I can't as
my brother brother's a miracle.
He woke up two and a halfmonths later.
(05:46):
The first thing he says I wantto get back to work.
And he worked for a whole year.
You know, resilience, grit likehard work, took the whole
physical test, become a policeofficer again and he went back
to work.
He's now retired and likefishing right now, I think.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
But Good for him.
Yeah, yeah, does itwell-deserved?
No, that's a great story andit's.
It's incredible how thosemoments, those life changing
moments where you're faced withyour mortality or a loved one's
mortality, that can really shiftyour mind and be like wow, I
really do have a limited amountof time on this earth.
(06:23):
We tend to forget that we putthings I'll do it later, I'll do
it tomorrow and we got to getbeyond that because we need to
live in the now and the present.
That's why I love Eckhart Tolleand the power of now.
That's a great book.
I don't know if you've read itor any of you listeners out
there please it's.
It's very empowering because yourealize everything is happening
(06:44):
right now so you can controlright now.
You don't have to worry aboutthe past or the future and live
in the present moment and findpeace.
But I want to touch back toyour story.
You said something about beingscared and having fear of that
dream.
Let's try and help thelisteners overcome fear, like
you obviously were able to inthat moment.
(07:06):
That was a life changing momentfor you and your family, but
you were able to overcome fear.
So let's talk about overcomingfear and going after a dream, a
business, a goal or whatever itmay be.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Sure.
So I think as human beings,like you said, we get so
comfortable in where we are, youknow in where we are and then
we get scared of anything else,right, Like if I make any
changes, like what, what wouldhappen?
And I think honestly I'm goingto just talk for me personally,
as a Vietnamese refugee andseeing the way I was and knowing
the way I was brought up andseeing my dad always scared
(07:41):
about making any changes Right,because when I think about it
now in hindsight like he had hiswhole world pulled from him and
dropped out from under him.
So of course he wanted the moststable conditions as possible,
and so that's how I grew up andthat's what I saw.
That was what I was modeled.
So for me, this idea ofrisk-taking was innately who I
(08:05):
am.
But also, you know, I wasbrought up not to take risks.
So there was a lot of fear inthat for me, because I thought
if I make any changes, like,when's the other shoe going to
drop?
That's that incident of mybrother.
(08:26):
You know, being in thatcondition, combined with having
a little baby, that really forme those two things in
combination made me drop thatfear and be like I'm just going
to go for this, but hopefullythat doesn't have to happen to
everybody, right?
Hopefully there's a way andthere must be a way that people
can get past that fear withoutsomething like that happening to
them.
And you know, this came a littlebit later when I wrote the book
(08:48):
.
You know what a Pace and Fly, aPractical Guide to Follow your
Curiosities.
In it I talk about a frameworkto follow your curiosities and I
think what most people do isthey think too, like you said,
they think too far in advance.
So I had this business in myhead for six years and I never
took one step because I keptlooking at that Like what is
this business going to look like10 years from now?
How is it going to besuccessful?
(09:09):
Where really all I had to dowas take that first small step
and see what opens up for me.
So I think, in terms of fear,if people are facing that fear,
don't think too far ahead.
Just think about what's thefirst small step I need to take
towards this new possibility orthis curiosity.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, you're right on taking that first step, that
that gets you moving andmovement is good.
And when you're moving then youcan start to build momentum.
And, believe it or not, onceyou start it gets easier Doesn't
mean it's going to be easy thewhole time Right.
Being an entrepreneur is tough.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Being an entrepreneur is not like taking an uphill
climb right.
It's definitely ups and downsall the time, no matter how
successful you are exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
It's a roller coaster .
You get curveballs, but that'slife.
The struggle is real foreverybody and I think, listeners
, that's what you need torealize.
You're not alone.
Everybody has these struggles.
It's part of the humancondition.
You got this and fear.
I love this.
I forget where I heard it, butit's false evidence appearing
real.
You're projecting, like yousaid.
It is something that you werethinking way ahead into the
(10:10):
future and in reality, thatwasn't where you were at.
You were here and now and youcan make those changes and start
taking the steps to then get towherever in the future.
So I think that's fantastic.
So part of fear is it's anobstacle to overcome.
Let's talk about obstacles andhow to overcome obstacles.
(10:30):
I love how you have yourcuriosity and creativity or the
artwork or the arts and crafts.
Please share with overcomingproblems and using creativity to
actually solve a problem orovercome a challenge in one's
life.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Sure.
So if you, if we really thinkabout how we overcome challenges
, is through creativity.
Right, it's through doingsomething different.
And I don't mean like, oh,you're going to overcome a
challenge by by, you know,weaving dreams or painting a
rock, like that's not thecreativity I'm talking about,
like when I teach creativity inthe workplace and when I teach
it for creative problem solving.
It's a thinking tool Like howcan we think differently?
(11:11):
As adults, we tend to think inanalytical left brain thinking
and our perspective is like thisright, it's tunnel vision.
Here's how we've fixed thingsin the past, here's how we've
done things in the past.
So let's just keep doing itthat way.
And what these create, whatthese creative problem solving
ideas and tools helps with, islike let's just expand our
thinking, like what else ispossible?
(11:33):
Asking questions like what if?
How might we?
So, when I talk aboutcreativity in the workplace or
creativity in life to solveproblems, it's really about
expanding thinking.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I love that because we need to expand our minds.
If you want to grow, that'swhat you have to do.
You have to step out behind,out from your comfort zone, and
get out behind the shadows andget out front in the spotlight.
Sometimes and it's tough- forpeople because we're worried
about criticism, and let's talkabout that right now.
People that challenge you oryou know you get criticized.
(12:09):
How do you overcome that in theworld?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Well, can I go back to the creative thinking for a
second?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Sure absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Just because I think I don't want to leave it out
there, because I feel like a lotof times we hear all the time
like let's think more creatively, let's be more innovative, but
then people are left with like,um, if I could, I would right
it's like I don't know how, soso I think that's the where
where the work I bring intoorganizations it fills in that
gap between like, let's be morecreative everyone, because we
(12:39):
need creativity and and thenjust leaving them alone, right.
So the example if people arelistening and they have a
challenge, they're overcoming aproblem, vetting an opportunity.
There's certain creativethinking tools that you can use,
like one is one I love I thinkI may have shared this on
another podcast is the worstidea ever.
So think about like, let's sayyou're overcoming a challenge
(13:02):
and to get over that fear, thinklike what's the worst idea ever
I could think of to solve thischallenge?
Or what's the worst idea everthat could, what's the worst
thing that could happen?
And then switch that questionand think about like what's the
best thing that could happen?
Or you know, what's theopposite of this worst idea?
That might actually help metake that first small step.
So that's just one of manycreative problem solving tools
(13:27):
that I use to get people to to,like we said, expand that
thinking, but literally not justasking them to expand their
thinking, but give them tangible, practical, usable tools that
are going to allow them to do so.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yes, asking the right questions is so important.
That's why I love your what if?
That what if is great, becausepeople do focus on the things
that could go bad.
It's a survival technique withour minds and you know we need
to look out for the bad thingthat could hurt us.
Right?
What if the good thing happened?
And I also talk about the how doI?
(13:58):
Mentality, instead of like oh,I can't, you know, when you're
talking about creativity.
That's why I love the what ifit's very similar to how do I?
And to get to the how do I, youneed creativity.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yes, absolutely.
And you know when you're,whether it's for yourself or in
a team, that's the.
That's one tool I always teachpeople, like if you walk away
with nothing else, when you'retrying to solve a challenge,
overcome you know a problem.
Don't just state the problem,be like okay, so how?
Like what are we going to doabout this?
State it as a how might wequestion?
Right, how might we solve forthis?
(14:29):
That just that that opens upthe.
You start by opening up forpossibilities versus sitting in
that that challenge.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yes, and don't be afraid to take action and move
and be creative, because I thinka lot of people you know
they're afraid to put themselvesout there and they have
self-doubt or they oppressthemselves with their own
thinking.
And what are some tools thatyou use to help people open up
and actually share and be ableto ask these questions?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
So okay, so I I mean I guess like the good answer to
that one are some of the um I'mgoing to talk, talk about the
mindset tool first and then I'lltalk about some of the creative
tools.
So when I am in that positionwhere I'm like, should I do this
, should I not do this?
And I get in my head too muchabout um, about what people are
going to think there's there'stwo tools.
Number one I think about likeokay, you think about what I'm
(15:19):
thinking about doing and thiswhole idea of like I mean it
might seem, might seem a littlelike woo, woo, but it's like
where.
Like how does that feel in mybody, right?
Does it feel heavy or does itfeel light?
Is it a hell, yes, in my bodyor a hell, no, in my body, right
?
So if it's a yes, then go forit and leave out all that other
stuff that's in your head aboutlike, what are people going to
(15:39):
think?
Are people going to judge me?
How does it feel to you in yourbody?
That's always the right choiceas far as I'm concerned.
Another tool I use that's maybea little more linear is this
idea of reframing right?
It can be a challenge, it couldbe a mindset, but really like
literally write it down.
(16:00):
Let's say, you're thinking likeI have this in my this, I have
this, actually a exercise onthis in my book, this reframe
exercise.
What is it you're trying toaccomplish?
I wrote for mine like I want towrite a book.
Or you know, I want to write abook.
That was my, that's what I wantto do, my and that book took
four years to write because mymindset at first was like I
(16:30):
don't know how to write a book,who am I to write a book?
Right?
So that's in column one, columntwo.
Two is a reframe of that, ofokay, I don't know how to write
a book yet and I can figure outhow.
And then the third column isyour evidence Like, okay, what
have I figured out how to do inthe past?
And you can write.
You know, like I learned tosurf, I learned to do stained
glass, make a stained glasswindow.
I started a business.
I didn't know any of thosethings but I did it.
So then it gives you theencouragement and the confidence
(16:50):
to go and write that book.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
That's fantastic.
That is a great practicalexercise.
People you need to be doingexercises like that.
Find a technique, a question,something that you can journal
or whatever it may be.
Pros and cons list evensomething that simple and it's.
It's incredible how powerfuldoing things like that can be it
(17:13):
truly is, because we can be.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
we can get so in our heads Like I'm an overthinker
and you know I like to call itlike like trying to recover from
being a people pleaser fromgrowing up in my childhood.
So sometimes I'll send an emailout and I won't get a response,
especially for, like a client.
I'm like, oh my gosh, they hateme.
And you're like, okay, what'sreally happening here?
(17:35):
Okay, you sent an email threeminutes ago and they haven't
responded yet.
Most likely they don't hate you.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Most likely they're busy.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
We can go down these rabbit holes of overthinking.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
No, absolutely, and that's something we need to
learn and it's a skill anybodycan learn.
You know it comes easier forsome people, but it's definitely
possible for anybody to learnthese skills and that's what's
so great.
You just have to have thedetermination or the motivation
and the why to go after it.
So let's talk about whys.
You had no-transcript.
(18:17):
What if someone doesn't havethat new baby, or they don't
necessarily know what their whyis?
How would you help them findtheir why?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I think a why.
It can be a really hardquestion, right, especially when
we're inundated with so many, Iwould say, obstacles and also
responsibilities.
So, same thing, same idea, aswe talked about about before, it
was like so people say like,follow your passion to find that
(18:46):
why.
I and I I kind of revamped thatto be like like follow what
you're curious about, right,like just follow your
curiosities and and that mightlead you to your why.
I would say that my why cameabout it.
You know the why of startingthe business and actually taking
that leap was because of that,you know, of having my son,
seeing my brother in thatposition.
(19:08):
But really it was afterstarting the business I realized
like, oh you know, that was mywhy I started the business.
But my why for the businesscame about from doing the
business.
So initially it was I want tobring creativity into the
workplace.
Arts and crafts, everyone'screative.
I want everyone to get theirhands on things.
Because I found how importantcreativity was in my life and
(19:31):
what I realized as I was runningthe business is it's not so
much about the hands-on creativeart projects and the work we do
in terms of I guess it bringspeople joy because we are all
innately creative.
So when you allow people to tapinto their creativity,
something lights up in them.
Yes, all that, but what I foundin doing this work in the
workplace is that when you giveteams and people the space to be
(19:54):
creative, what you're doing isallowing people to share their
voice right, giving peopledifferent ways, different
modalities, so all voices makingthe table.
Everyone feels that they canshare, their psychological
safety being built, there'strust being built.
So I would say that you followyour curiosity and take those
small steps.
Your why will show up along theway.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I love that.
I really do.
I think that's fantastic.
And that goes with getting outof your comfort zone Like you
had to make a change.
You didn't fully know your whyat that point, but getting out
of your comfort zone and youwere growing, that then exposed
your why and you got to learn.
So definitely getting out ofyour comfort zone is so
important.
(20:36):
Is there anywhere else in yourcareer or life that you've seen
where stepping out of yourcomfort zone has actually made
some big changes and growth foryou?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
um, let me think so.
So I'm just gonna.
One thing that comes to my mindwas and I I hear I'm gonna
share this, I hear this a lotfrom people is um, especially, I
don't know, we, I work withtransitioning veterans.
I don't know if you know thatpart of my story with the Honor
Foundation, so you know this.
So transitioning veterans andjust other people who come into
(21:10):
you know who book calls methey're.
One thing is like I don't knowhow to make myself visible.
Like I'm not comfortable makingmyself visible, like like doing
things on LinkedIn, posting onInstagram, whatever it is,
making videos, and the realityis like that's, that's the way
the world works right now.
Like, if you want to be visible, if you want to elevate
(21:30):
yourself, you have to get out ofthat comfort zone of like just
not being seen, and so I wouldsay that is the one thing I
would talk about.
So when I first started mybusiness, I used to make a joke
about this, but it really wasn'ta joke.
I'm like okay, why isn't mybusiness growing?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
And the joke was like oh, maybe it's because only me
and my mom know about it Rightand she still thinks.
I'm a doctor.
That's funny, which I never was.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
But she just likes to say I am so so yeah, so so, so
I.
But now, it's probably aboutseven years ago, I sat down with
a friend of mine who was atthat time she called herself a
collaboration coach and she'slike well, what are you trying
to accomplish this year?
It's like, well, I'd love togrow my business, you know, and
be on more podcasts to grow mybusiness.
And she's like okay, so here'swhat you can do.
(22:12):
You're going to go home rightnow and you're going to put a
post on LinkedIn that says I'mlooking to expand the growth of
my business.
Who has a podcast that wouldwant to talk about curiosity,
creativity, whatever it is?
And I was nodding at herbecause I'm a people pleaser,
right?
Like yep, I'm going to do that.
And in my head it's like there'sno way, no way in the world,
(22:35):
I'm ever going to do that.
Right, this idea of like askingfor help and then putting it
out there in public not going tohappen.
The other thing she told me todo is make a like start making
these small 30 second videos onLinkedIn.
And also I nodded my head, butinside I was going not a chance.
But since she was a really goodfriend and coach.
She's like have you done it?
Have you done it, have you doneit?
So eventually I had to do itand, just for the people out
(22:58):
there who are struggling in thatposition right now, I got
probably five or six podcasts,episodes, bookings from that
post and that 30 second video.
The first 30 second video Imade took about seven and a half
hours, but now you follow me onLinkedIn or connect on LinkedIn
.
You see, I'm on there every day, maybe twice a day, because I
(23:21):
understand now, because I'veexperienced it, the power of
visibility.
And the other thing to get overthat too, I believe, is this
idea like you don't put yourselfout there for yourself, right,
you put out there if you have astrong message to share with
people and you can bring valueto people's lives.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I love that and that's what brought me.
I mean, you work with veteransso you kind of know guys with me
and my background.
You don't necessarily like tobe in the spotlight sometimes.
Absolutely my community quietprofessional and I used to
interpret that as silentprofessional.
So I need to.
Quiet was silent and I wasactually on a podcast myself and
(23:58):
I heard no quiet professionalisn't a silent professional.
I'm like, oh, that clicked forme and that's why I started
putting myself out there alittle more.
And I still need to do it more.
I need to grow and I think weall do a little bit.
But you are absolutely spot onand I love the things you're
saying and sharing.
I think a lot of our listenersare going to be able to relate
(24:19):
and understand, and you touchedon something earlier that I want
to go back, to, which you saidyour body feels a certain way.
Let's talk about gut feelings,or some people call like
spiritual guidance, like insideyou have this calling or drive.
How do you recognize that?
And then how do you, can youuse that to apply it in your
(24:41):
life?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
So my book in my book I talk about like this idea of
the framework.
I'm going to tell you my wholebook right now.
It's just three things, right.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
No, there's more to it.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Pause and pay attention to the curiosities
that come to you, ask what if?
And then take small steps.
So that first part is soimportant.
The first part is that pauseand what you just talked about
is like where do I?
You know, here's the idea,here's the situation.
Can we take a second and justpause and not react or respond?
And where, like, how does thatfeel?
(25:14):
And it's such a hard questionwhen you first start asking
yourself, where do I feel it inmy body?
Because that's not how we're,you know, brought up or trained
or groomed.
I guess you say we're like whatdo you think about that?
Right?
What do you think?
And there was a podcast I'msorry forget who this was, but
they talked about anxiety, asyou can't think yourself out of
(25:36):
anxiety, right?
Because anxiety starts in thebody.
So you have to take some actionto get out of that anxiety go
for a run, take a walk, whateverit is.
So that's how I think about youknow, when something comes up,
an idea, a curiosity, asituation, if we can pause and
be like okay and get back tolike okay, where do I feel this
(25:58):
and how does it feel?
How does it feel in my body?
Not what I'm, I'm thinkingabout, but how do I feel?
How does it feel in my body?
What's tightening, what'sloosening, whatever it might be,
if we can start recognizing it.
That's what I think of a gutreaction.
So I don't even think it'smystical, really.
It's actually a physiologicalchange in your body that you
(26:18):
that.
It's science.
So we're just not trained to,we're not trained to pause and
we're not trained to acknowledge.
Acknowledge that we're trainedto think ourselves out of things
.
So it's a practice and I'm notgreat at it because I'm a I'm an
overreactor, for sure.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Don't beat yourself up, you're you're doing amazing
things.
So I want to share somethingwith you, because you talked
about pause.
I use sometimes I'm helpingpeople or coaching Stop, just
stop.
Stop, think, observe and thenplan or proceed.
Either way, you can use thoseP's so that's a good acronym to
(26:57):
use to help trigger and peopleto remember.
Ok, I don't want to just reactand stop, so cause, you'll feel
that in your body.
Like you said, if you'regetting anxious and you're
getting anxiety, you need torecognize that.
Have that self-awareness andthen bam, all right, pause or
stop.
So that's great, great advice.
(27:17):
I think the listeners are goingto get a lot from that but it's
a practice.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Right, it's a practice.
Oh yes, it's not like you'regoing to just get it.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Yeah.
So I was asking earlier aboutgetting out of your comfort zone
and I was thinking the way youwere going with social media and
exposure, whatnot.
Let's hear about this TED talkthat you were on.
That's like out there andfantastic and eye opening,
educational, so that must'vebeen a big step and leap for you
(27:46):
.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Absolutely Okay.
So so let me just like I.
I am out there doing goodthings in the world.
But let me tell you like a lotof these things started off
because I was being selfish,right Like the TEDx talk.
I was like, okay, I want toagain, I want to grow my
business.
How do I get more visibility?
And again TEDx was in my headfor a few years as a business
owner, I was like I want to do aTEDx talk and I was going to do
(28:10):
it on creativity, but there'sso many amazing people who've
already done a talk oncreativity.
I was like who am I to, right?
So I had that, that limitingbelief of who am I too.
So I was at this event inAnaheim with my mom.
So my mom, our story is we camein from Vietnam, our first home
was Camp Pounders Marine Basein San Diego, and then we were
(28:32):
transferred to a refugee centerup in Northern California that
was run by civilians, and one ofthe volunteers was Hollywood
movie star Tippi Hedren, mostfamously known for her role in
the Bird Alfred Hicks' moviemost famously known for her role
in the Bird Alfred Hitchcock'smovie, the Birds.
So her role was to help thesewomen find a career in this new
country.
And she started typing andsewing class and 20 women signed
(28:52):
up, including my mom, and asthey were typing and sewing,
she'd walk around the roomencouraging them and they
noticed her long red manicurenails.
So, long story short, that leddown to this path of following
curiosity for them to become thefirst 20 licensed Vietnamese
manicures in the United Statesand now $8.3 billion industry.
So I was in Anaheim at acelebration for my mom and Tippi
(29:14):
and as my mom was on stage, I'mlike this is my TEDx talk.
Right, this is my TEDx talksabout curiosity, creativity and
when you follow your curiositywith creativity, what can you
accomplish?
Like, what like, whatpossibilities can you create for
yourself and others?
So, because I was clear now onwhat my talk was, things again,
(29:36):
things just started happening.
So it was on my computer onenight on LinkedIn, scrolling
LinkedIn, and I saw anadvertisement from this woman I
had met at a conference once,four years ago.
She's producing a TEDx talk.
It's called TEDx Women Missionof Mavericks in Anaheim and they
had all their speakers lined upand they were selling tickets.
(29:57):
So I bought a ticket to attend,thinking like, well, that would
have been a great spot for meto tell this story.
And I walked away and there itwas, that little idea tapping me
on the shoulders like, well,what if you could speak on that
stage?
You know like.
So I went back to my computer,typed up a little email telling
her what I want to talk about,and a little while later she
reached back out and said we'dlove for you to tell that story
(30:19):
on our stage.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
So fantastic, that's, that's great.
And taking the initiative, youknow to reach out, you could
have just limited yourself andbe like, oh, they already have
the speakers.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Taking that initiative.
That's inspiring and I wantpeople to understand that.
You know, taking a littleinitiative, sending an email,
making a phone call saying hi,building a relationship with
somebody can be completely lifechanging for you and your family
, can be completelylife-changing for you and your
family.
And can you talk about that ina sense?
As far as networking, gettingto know people, surrounding
(30:56):
yourself with good people, howhas that changed you?
Speaker 2 (31:06):
how you interact with others.
So I've always been no, Ishouldn't say this when I was a
little kid I was so, was so shyand talk to anyone, right?
I like to hide behind my mom'sum legs going out.
I don't know when I became moreextroverted, but I am actually
more.
I would say I'm moreintroverted than extroverted, um
, but I think I think for mereally starting to reach out,
(31:27):
starting to reach out to people,particularly for business on
LinkedIn and meeting people Well, I think it connects to knowing
what your why is, knowing whatyour passion is Like.
As I started to develop a clearpath to what I wanted to do with
my business, or not even aclear path of what I want to do,
but like, but the why behind it, bring creativity into the
(31:50):
workplace, changing, learning,development, doing things
differently and putting my voiceout.
There, it almost was.
I didn't have to try to attractthose people into my life.
It was.
I didn't have to try to findthose people in life.
I just attracted them by thisidea of like, being the
lighthouse, being who you areauthentically and having a
message to share that's going toimpact other people.
(32:11):
I found that, that people weredrawn to that, and I would just
meet people on LinkedIn atnetworking events who who really
took to what I was saying and Itook to what they were saying
too.
I don't know if that reallyanswers the question, but it's.
But I find myself surrounded bypeople who understand the work
(32:32):
I do and who do similar work,but maybe a little bit
differently.
So there's a lot ofcollaboration there.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
No, I love it and that's one of the concepts I
talk about in the asset mindsetis you got to get out there and
surround yourself with positivepeople in positive environments.
It's not just the people, youneed to be in these good
environments too.
So that's absolutely spot onand I think that's fantastic,
that you have the ability to dothat and the motivation, because
(32:58):
motivation is so important, andwith motivation, I want to get
into and transition tomentorship.
Have you had anybody reallyhelp mentor you and what is the
power of a mentor?
Or are you mentoring anybody?
Speaker 2 (33:11):
So it's so.
I'm going to start by sayingthat I didn't know what a mentor
was.
Right, it's like.
It's like there's somethingabout my friend, Hank Black,
who's also a Vietnamese refugee,wrote a book about this right,
about immigrant women in theworkplace, and and we did things
very differently than than I.
Well, let me put it this way,we did things the way we knew
(33:32):
how to do things, which was I'mjust going to work hard, and if
that doesn't work, I'm going tohunker down and work harder, and
if that doesn't work, I'm goingto hunker down more and work
harder.
Right, there's no looking forhelp, no-transcript give me some
(34:31):
advice, and some people stickaround and some people don't.
And as far as me being a mentor, I am not part of any type of
mentorship program, but there'sa lot of people I meet out there
who ask me about the work I do,and I'm happy to have cups of
coffee, conversation withanybody who's interested in in
(34:51):
learning, learning, learningfrom me, of whatever I might
know.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
That's fantastic and that's one of the things I want
people to understand is itdoesn't have to be an official
mentor title, Like you sittingdown with coffee.
You know, having coffee withsomeone that's curious about
what you do or wants to learnabout curiosity, like right
there, you're mentoring.
So mentorship comes alldifferent forms, all different
(35:16):
places and most people are gladto share their knowledge and
their mentorship.
At least I've found that.
Have you found that as well?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And it goes back to what wesaid just before about the
network.
It's similar to the networkingthat you were talking about, and
building that network is youjust have to ask, and that's a
muscle to be built, too right.
I used to feel so scared to askpeople for anything, but as you
start reaching out and asking,what you'll find is, yeah, some
(35:45):
people may never get back to youand the right ones will.
That's like the mindset shiftI've had to make.
Is anything that's meant for mewill come to me, right?
So if I reach out to someonewho I really want to talk to and
they never reach back out to me, like OK, well, there's a
reason for that.
Things are happening for me,not to me.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I love that and I think everybody, all our
listeners, need to realize thatas well.
You can't beat yourself up andif it's meant to be, it'll be.
Just keep doing you, chasingyour dreams, following what you
want, and that's a prime exampleof that.
Because you don't want toobsess over things, you don't
(36:30):
want to be in that victimmentality like, oh, I did
something wrong and that's whythey're not answering me, or you
know, I'm not worthy, or thesenegative, oppressive thoughts in
your head and I think mostpeople when they're first
starting, that's when it's themost powerful.
So I know you talked aboutwriting things down and
reframing.
Is there anything else as faras maybe reframing tricks, like
(36:50):
just in your head rather thanwriting it down?
What can someone do to fightthat in the middle of the day,
all of a sudden they have thisvictim mentality or this thought
come in their head.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah.
So I think if people have somesort of mantra they can talk
about.
But I've been listening to this, this podcast.
His name is David Guyam and hetalks a lot about certainty,
right?
So, and I find that like for me, like that's something that I
have been using a lot in termsof, if I'm walking my dogs and I
don't have a piece of paper andpen, if I get into that thought
(37:22):
of like oh, why hasn't thishappened?
Or or you know, like whatever,whatever.
Like that negative thought is,I'm like okay, I'm just I'm just
going to pause and be like I amcertain that things are going
to work out Right, I'm justcertain that this is like,
whatever it might be, I'mcertain that my business is
going to grow and there's justthis power in certainty.
So that's like a very simpleone for me is like I'm walking
(37:43):
around, I can feel myselfstarting to to be overwhelmed,
or, or, you know, just starting,my, my side goes okay, I'm just
certain this is going to workout.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
I love that you got such great techniques.
You can tell you've been onthis mindset growth mindset for
a while and you're sharing realknowledge, so Can I share one
more?
Absolutely, please do.
That's why you're here.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Absolutely, please do .
That's why you're here.
So I, I guess, I think, being afemale entrepreneur, you know,
and having to talk to a lot ofCEOs, coos in this, one day I
(38:28):
went to visit my friend Dan andhis wife in Kentucky and he had
opened up this, the biggestdistillery in Kentucky, and we
went and he took me around.
I can see people going, likeCal.
I can see that they felt abouthim the way I felt about CEOs,
cfos, and I thought to myselfit's just Dan.
(38:49):
Right, in college, Dan used tolike go fishing and make me
Cheeto crusted fried fish.
Now, if I look at people I workwith, that we're all human
beings Like that CEO is justsomeone's Dan who probably you
know, he probably cooked someonesome Cheeto crusted fried fish
at some point.
You know, just treat them likethat.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
No, I love it, and that that's a great point.
You know someone that you'reyou're nervous or scared to be
around, or you think that's inthis higher up level position.
You know what they're a persontoo.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Somebody's brother, sister, mother, you know, dad
whatever it may be, they're justa person.
We're all human beings.
We're all on this journey oflife, so that's that's fantastic
.
I love that.
That was a super powerful one,and thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
You're welcome.
Why don't you try that recipefor your family?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
I'm a carnivore.
I only eat meat.
I'm that crazy guy.
I'm reverse vegan.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Interesting Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, I got a farm with cows and chickens.
I eat my own eggs.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
We raise our own beef , okay, so we need to talk more
about that because you know, ifyou ask me what's next for me is
I'm on a farm do you great,yeah, awesome, any?
uh, particular things on thefarm that you'd like to have
yeah, I mean, I mean it soundsridiculous, but in fact I think
is like the most ridiculousthings can be a reality.
So I don't plan on eating anyof my animals, but I want a mini
(40:12):
animal farm.
I want some mini cows, somemini goats, some mini donkeys
and an art studio for arts andcrafts, particularly making
stained glass.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Fantastic no, that's great.
I love the dream and I lovethat you're putting it out there
.
We want a dream in highdefinition.
Fantastic, no, that's great.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I love, I love the dream and I love that you're
putting it out there.
We want to dream in highdefinition.
You know you don't want to,just not to say I'm not getting
my, I'm not getting my ownanimals, but I do.
I do eat meat.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Well, it's funny you say that because I have three
kids and my daughters areyounger and we have our pet
chickens and layer chickens.
But then we'll raise our meatbirds and that's what we call
them.
They're meat birds, so theydifferentiate and they
understand.
And then you know our cowsthey're having a hard time with,
especially.
We had four babies born.
I don't have a large herd, butwe had four calves this year and
(41:00):
they're like can we keep themall?
And I'm like we're going tokeep most of them.
Yeah, um, six.
And the next one is turningnine on may fourth.
She's, uh, three days away frombeing nine.
I can't get over she's halfwayto 18.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
No way, yes incredible that's.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
There's something about that date around me.
Now you, my daughter's bornthat day, my uncle's born that
day, may 4th, and my cousin soyou're now like yes.
So yes.
Yeah, and around me like Idon't know that many people that
have my birthday.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
So interesting, right ?
Yeah, I'm not a numerologist.
Cheers what your May 4th babyis like.
What's her personality yeah,I'm not a numerologist, cheers
when your May 4th baby is like,what's her personality?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Big, big, giant heart , huge heart, loving, kind
giving.
But because she has such a bigheart, she gets hurt easily.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
So I've been working with her and her mindset.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I'm like you have a big brain.
You've been gifted with a smartbrain that can help you with
your emotions and your heart forwhen?
Because she'll be like I triedto be kind at school and I
wanted to share something andpeople didn't want my help and
I'm like, well, sometimes youdon't want help, you know, and
that will upset her because inher mind, I'm trying to be
helpful.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
I'm trying to be kind .
Yes, so many beautiful lifelessons.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Oh yeah, yeah it's, and my youngest is totally
different.
It's incredible the minds thatwe're all individual and how we
think our spirit inside, becausemy youngest is six but if
there's a bug or something likethat, the two sisters have made
a deal where the youngest is theprotector and she will go get
the bug and get rid of the bugs,but the uh oldest hazel will.
(42:49):
If there's a coyote or foxes orwhatever I'll, I'll protect you
from animals, wild animals, youprotect me from bugs I love
childhood deals.
That's wonderful yeah, it's,it's great and it's just seeing
how the mind grows and theychange and you know they're,
they're working together.
It's a beautiful thing and Ilove being a dad it's, it's the
best job in the world.
It's the hardest job, but it'sabsolutely the best, absolutely
(43:12):
I can tell you.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
You take it with heart and seriously like this,
like that's, that's like, that'sa serious role, right yes, oh,
absolutely so.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Uh, let's go back a little bit where we've gone off
track, but I could talk aboutfarms and animals and stuff yeah
I want to.
If you went back in time okay,Say your college self what would
you share for knowledge withyour college self that you've
now grown and learned and you'relike boy?
(43:40):
I wish I could, you know, haveknown that earlier.
What would you share?
What message would you send?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Oh my gosh.
So that's going a little kindof far back.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Hey, I'm a seventies child too.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
So, um, oh my, I think of myself in college, and
it was still the time where Iwas like I was like how do I
please everyone else?
Right, who can I be?
Um, just like everyone else.
So I would.
I would say be yourself, right,you.
You are enough and believe inyourself, have self-confidence.
And I have a 12 year old sonand that is the one thing that
(44:15):
I'm always very um.
I mean, there's a lot of thingsyou have to teach your kids,
but for me it was like if I caninstill self-confidence in this
kid, he can do anything.
And that's when something I didnot grow up with.
So I go, I go back to mycollege self, I would go, and
what I do every day with my sonis like how do I make him more
confident, self-confident today?
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Oh, that's fantastic.
Those are powerful, powerfulwords, because I think you know,
we all achieve that atdifferent ages and I think some
people actually, sad to say,never achieve self-confidence.
They've always and will alwaysstruggle with that.
So if you're out there andyou're struggling with it,
you're not alone and you can doit.
Realize that you have the powerand you are special and you
(44:58):
have your talents and skills andeverybody's different.
Find yours.
What are you curious in and Ithink you nailed that right
there with just taking ownership.
So how can taking ownershipdrastically change someone's
life?
Like, how does it affect theirday to day?
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Well, I think, internally, it just makes you
feel more empowered, right?
If you take ownership oversomething, you take ownership
away from everything else aroundyou.
And what else can you controlbut yourself?
Right?
There's nothing, there's notmuch we can control ourselves,
and most of us aren't even verygood at that, me included.
(45:40):
So I think taking ownershipreally, really allows you to
make decisions and act on itwithout thinking about like,
without thinking about like this, what we just talked about,
what other people are thinkingabout you and that can make a
huge difference in your outcome.
Right?
This idea of your and this is acoaching model it's like your
(46:01):
thoughts create your actions andyour actions create your
results.
So, if you think you ownsomething, you can take action
like you own it, and then theresults are yours.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yeah, I love that.
It all starts in the head andthose actions and actions create
habits and habits createresults.
So you know that's fantasticand please anybody listening,
pause, go in the description andplease check out.
You know what if pigs could flyand there's all kinds of links.
If you want any coaching or youneed any assistance and you
(46:34):
want to get with Von Lai, youcan absolutely reach out to her.
She's amazing and please do,because she could change your
business, she could change yourmindset, she could change your
life.
So, also, I would like to askyou to like, follow and
subscribe to the Asset MindsetPodcast and if you're getting
something from this episode,please share it with someone
(46:55):
else that you think could alsoget something from that.
So, to come to the end, what isthe one thing that you would
like to share or that you couldput out there in the world?
You had a magic wand and belike I want to help everybody
you know in their mindset andthe way they think.
I think we might've alreadyjust touched on it a little bit
(47:17):
for an answer, but what wouldthat thing that you would love
to be able to gift everybody intheir mind for their mindset?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Oh, we, we.
We have covered a lot, a lot ofit, Ray.
So I'm going to go back to abook I read a while back called
it was called the ProsperousCoach and I used it.
I read it when I very firststarted my business and, even
though I don't do one-on-onecoaching I do more group
facilitations it's still a bookthat really helps people who are
(47:45):
entrepreneurs, who are tryingto do something different, and
it's just this idea, it's almostlike that.
That what we talked about forthis idea like what can you say
to yourself is start and keepgoing.
Right, Whatever you're tryingto accomplish, start and keep
going, and if you need to pivot,pivot, but just don't stop.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
I love it.
Keep moving, take action.
Don't lose momentum Once youstart rolling.
Think of it as a freight train.
You know you get that trainrolling.
It takes a lot to get it goingbut it takes a lot to stop it.
So if you're moving forward,yeah, sometimes you might have
to move sideways and around, butjust keep moving, because
that's what it's all about andthat's growth.
And don't beat yourself up ifyou make mistakes.
(48:23):
That's the first attempt inlearning.
And, once again, thank you forbeing on the podcast.
It's been absolutely amazing.
I love your laugh, I love yoursmile, I love all the positive
energy that you bring to theshow and to the people you work
with.
You're doing amazing things inthe world and you do have the
asset mindset and you don't haveto be special forces to have
the asset mindset because thetruth is the truth and you're
(48:46):
amazing positive person, sothanks again.
And all the listeners.
Once again, please like, followand subscribe the Asset Mindset
.
You can find us ontheassetmindsetcom.
You can find us on YouTube,spotify and all the other places
you'd love to get your podcasts.
Have a wonderful day.
God bless and own your power.
You.
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