Come On, Eileen / 4.5 The Will

In an episode inspired by Season 4, Episode 5 of Everybody Loves Raymond, “The Will,” the Barone Boys try to figure out who will take over the podcast when they die.

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Episode Transcript

Mike (00:00):
Good morning students and faculty of Lynbrook University.
As you know, each week you arerequired to watch an episode
of Everybody Loves Raymond.
This week, your episode isSeason 4, Episode 5, The Will.
If Ray and Deborah both passaway, they decide they want Bernie
and Linda to adopt their kids.
We recommend watching this showas soon as possible to prepare

(00:22):
for what you are about to hear.
And, uh, to the owner of thelarge ghostly pirate ship that
is floating over the quad.
You left your lights
on.

Alex (00:54):
Hey Mike, did you hear the news?
Uh, no, I actively avoid cable.
Great.
Do you want to know

Mike (00:59):
the news?
I would actually really like to.
Yeah.
I I've found that it'skept me out of the loop.
My, my.
Yeah.

Alex (01:07):
Well, apparently the, uh, the, the podcast hosts of that Friends,
uh, rewatch podcast all died in atragic, uh, Friends related accident.

Adam (01:17):
The Bing Bros died?

Alex (01:18):
Yeah, they binged too hard.
They drowned in a fountain.
They binged too

Mike (01:22):
hard?
I told them!
I tried to warn them that they hadto take it down on the binging.
It's

Alex (01:27):
not Well, at least they were there for each other.
Yeah.

Mike (01:30):
Yeah, I, that's, that's what you gotta say.
They were always giving each other Guys.
Guys,

Adam (01:34):
guys, can you, can you come into the, the church, the, the Sarah, the
ceremony, the funeral is starting.
Um, they're doing the eulogy right nowfor, you know, for the Bing brothers.

Alex (01:47):
There, as we walk into the church, we hear the, uh, the,

Adam (01:53):
the friends,

Alex (01:54):
like the friends theme, but it's like played on like, uh, Like an organ,
and it's like we all have to clap whenwe have to clap, like, for the song.

Mike (02:05):
As the pallbearers Really

Adam (02:07):
somber.

Mike (02:08):
Yeah, the pallbearers are very, very sadly walking up the
aisle, but there's a weird turn.
They get to a corner, yep.
So they all have to yell out,they all have to yell out, PIVOT!
As they turn the Pivot, pivot.
Pivot, pivot.
As they turn the coffinback up, back up the

Alex (02:26):
Yeah, I can't believe you didn't hear about this, Mike.
We're literally here.

Mike (02:30):
Yeah, I can't, how'd it happen?
What, what'd they do?

Adam (02:33):
They drowned in a fountain.
They binged too hard, Mike.
They got in the fountain and they didChandler's little dance in the fountain
where, you know, he's wearing the vest andhe does like this, waves his arms around.
Does this fun little 90s dance, andthey slipped and they fell and cracked
their heads open in the fountain.
All of

Mike (02:49):
them.
Yeah,

Adam (02:49):
I saw them practicing that.
They tried to pull their, the otherstried to pull their bodies out and
lay them on the couch to, like, doCPR, but it was too soft that they
just pushed them into the cushionsand they couldn't get any leverage.

Alex (03:02):
Yeah, it's real sad.
You, you, you see, you see, you know,some amazing people die like that.
You just wonder what's gonnahappen to their, their baby.
And by that I mean their show.
No one even knew the passwordto their network streaming site.
Now no one can continue the show.
Oh yeah.

Adam (03:20):
When that card gets declined it's all gonna be lost.
It's such a tragedy.

Mike (03:25):
I'm just spitballing here, could it be Chandler, Joey,
Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, one

Adam (03:32):
How many characters is that?
Six.
Pfft.
So take out the

Alex (03:37):
three.

Adam (03:38):
I shouldn't clap in the funeral, sorry everybody.

Alex (03:41):
Well, he claps at the inappropriate time, like everyone
else starts like doing the

Adam (03:44):
I know, I clapped off I clapped off beat, I'm so sorry.
I was just really proud of Mike.
And you know, it was funny becausethe last thing he said to me was,
Dad, could I be any more alive?
Hey, hey, hey, it's not your fault.

(04:05):
And I guess the answer was,yeah, I'm giving my eulogy,
sir. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Mike, get off the stage!
You in the front, in theaisle here, just sit down.

Mike (04:15):
I'm sorry, I was overcome.

Adam (04:17):
My son died in a fountain.

Alex (04:20):
And we are all gathered here today to remember an amazing show and its hosts.
Lord, hear our thanks.
Hear our subscribe.
Hear our likes.

Adam (04:32):
Everyone bows their heads and opens their, um, what are those called?
Bibles?

Mike (04:41):
Yeah.

Adam (04:41):
Uh, a, a, um, what do you call those guys?
Alter boy walks down the aisles with abasket and inside of it is a QR code for
people to rate and review the podcast.
Mm hmm.
Five stars.
They, they're all giving five stars.
Mike, stop.
What are you doing?
Mike, don't give four stars.
It's a funeral.
They're literally dead.

(05:02):
What are you doing

Mike (05:03):
the show left a lot you're writing a

Adam (05:04):
long a long review

Mike (05:08):
I'm not a fan of those podcasts where it's just white men talking over
each other That like it kind of gets alittle bit too much stop talking over

Adam (05:14):
Format they had a premise in a format.
There was a lady on that show They had alady every like 25 episodes or something.

Mike (05:21):
Yeah, I mean it was it was great.
I'm sure they they

Adam (05:24):
pretty much talked over Her, and it is only the one woman, talked over her
every time, and she got about five minutesof, of talking in, but she was there.
She was on the cover art.
Yeah,

Mike (05:35):
I, I don't know, I just, wasn't a big, yeah, they, they did
make, they did feature her quiteprominently on the cover art, I was,
I was a little disappointed that, uh.
That she wasn't there.
They also, it's real Replic babyswitch also, they also copy and pasted
her on the cover art three times torepresent Phoebe, Monica and Rachel.
Um, so I, yeah, yeah, they did

Adam (05:54):
a little, uh, Hugh, um, adjustment on her hair though, so
that it would, you know, match up.
Yeah, I just.

Mike (06:01):
I don't know.
I just listen.
I

Adam (06:02):
what I like about their cover art is that they did give everyone
Rachel's and it looked great Thatwas a good honestly that part.
Okay,

Mike (06:10):
two stars

Adam (06:11):
That's more like it Mike

Mike (06:13):
gotta keep it.

Adam (06:16):
Oh Shit, it's still but this somebody's talking
someone's reading from the Bible.
Sorry We should keep our voices

Alex (06:22):
Jesus was like, oh totally I will die for you, bro And then the bro was
like, Dude, why you gotta die for me?
Why don't we just, you know, kill him?
And Jesus was like, Nahman, that's not my way.
Here, help me carry this plus sign.
Truly a remarkable man.

Adam (06:42):
When did Alex go up there?
He, he got up there quick.
We're sitting in the back.
I'm not a part of this.

Mike (06:49):
Yeah, I, I was gonna say, this feels like the gospel according to Joey.
It, it feels, it feelsvery, uh, very strange.
Yeah.

Adam (06:57):
Let us do the, uh, the traditional Mike, you know what this is called?
Mike, I'm looking at you in the back.
What is this called?
Where the priest says, like,uh, you know, and also with you.
What is that called?

Mike (07:08):
The, the Blessing?
The side of the, side of peace?
I guess, yeah, let's do the Let,

Adam (07:13):
let, let's do the blessing.
Okay.
Um, Everyone, uh, do you countthem in three, two, one, or

Mike (07:20):
I mean, everybody just kind of knows when to do it.
I guess we can do it nowif we really want to.

Adam (07:25):
All right, go ahead.
Everyone.
How you do it.
How you do it.
And also how you.

Mike (07:34):
They all, the, the, the mass proceeds in various friend themes ways.
And then at the very end, the father,the father stands up and says.
Alright, uh, let's take our friend bro ourbing boys to their final resting place.
Everyone, you may resume thebreak that we were just on.
And they all start exiting,exiting the, the mess.

Alex (07:59):
That was

Mike (07:59):
okay.

Adam (08:00):
They're going on the big break in the sky.

Mike (08:03):
Yeah, this is, um, this is a lot, guys.
I, I, I saw a lot of myself inthe Friends, Friends, Friendscast.
I, um

Adam (08:12):
Yeah, you did when we, when we decided to do the They were the ones
that you said we should rip off, so.
Yeah.
It's hard to feel like, you know, alittle part of ourselves are dying.
Yeah, it's hard.
Not to make it about us,but it is kind of about us.
It's hard because, oh,it is kind of about us.
It's like when Prince died, I was so sad.
I, this one was really hard, guys.

(08:34):
I took it so hard when Prince died, and I.
You know, I don't know if you saw mylong posts on Facebook about Halloween.
You put up

Mike (08:41):
several of them.
We, we saw a couple.

Adam (08:43):
Did you see the one of me in my Halloween costume as Prince?

Mike (08:46):
Yeah, um, not super tasteful, I will say.
But, you know.
Well,

Adam (08:54):
what exactly did you take issue with?
I, okay, um,
just.
Is it the fact that I wasCharles and I said I was Prince?

Mike (09:05):
Yeah, yeah, kind of.
Honestly, like, I mean,when you say I'm Prince.
I imagine you're, like, gonna puttogether, like, a thing of purple
rain, or something like that.
I was Charles.
Yeah.
I

Adam (09:15):
was Charles, and I had a little button that said R. I. P. Diana, and
I was playing a big purple guitar.
And I thought that was hilarious.

Mike (09:23):
It wasn't.

Adam (09:24):
It wasn't that creepy.
No, that was

Alex (09:25):
hilarious.
No.
I don't have a

Adam (09:26):
great sense of how it played because I did it at home, took a picture
in the bathroom, and then took it off.
I wasn't going to like, a costume party

Mike (09:34):
or anything.
Felt in poor taste becausePrince had just died.
I did do a day of.

Adam (09:38):
Day of of Prince dying, yeah.
Yeah, Prince

Mike (09:40):
famously dying on

Adam (09:42):
Halloween.
And then of course I did a lotof GIFs of him on New Girl.

Mike (09:47):
Yeah, we We know.
Um, yeah.

Alex (09:53):
Well, boys, you know, when, um, when things like this happen.
I made new

Adam (09:56):
ones where it was like Prince, like, looking, looking all
crazy to the side like a new girl.
Like, what the heck'swrong with this new girl?
And then it was like Prince Charleslooking back at him like, I know, right?

Mike (10:08):
I take Alex, uh, to the side here, uh, and I say, Listen,
Adam is not taking this well.
He's kind of gone off the deep end here.
I need to talk to youabout what's going on.
The Bing boys Hey, do

Adam (10:21):
you guys like Prince?
Check this out, lookat this picture of me.
Oh, that's more new girls, we're friends.
I like Prince.

Mike (10:28):
Uh, so No, I'm

Alex (10:30):
listening.
Uh,

Mike (10:31):
so, the problem is, like, the Bing boys Their podcast is done.
They, they, they, theirGod, their legacy is over.
You know, it's like, it's not, I don't

Alex (10:42):
know, this,

Mike (10:43):
this, this kind of, this makes me frustrated.
I don't know.

Alex (10:48):
I mean, it really does make me think right about.
Kind of where we are as a, as a podcast.
And, uh, you know, if this was tohappen to us, right, if we were to, I
don't know, get run over by a policecar or, uh, hit in the head with a
golf ball or baseball at high speeds.

(11:08):
It's like, what, what would we even do?
You know, I think we have to startthinking about making sure our podcast
ends Eve or part our podcast lives on,even if, uh, we do not, you know, I
think that'll make Adam feel better.

Mike (11:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think you're, I think you'reright because Adam is, I think Adam
would agree with us, we got to.
Well, who do we want to, who do we wantto take over the podcast after we go?

Alex (11:35):
Wow.
Actually,

Mike (11:36):
Adam should be in this conversation.
Adam?
Adam?

Alex (11:39):
Oh.

Mike (11:40):
I'll be right back.
I would like a raspberry beret.

Adam (11:47):
I mean, there's a Yeah, what's up?
I'm trying to sell people.
I don't have any Stock yet.
I'm sort of like on spec tryingto sell people Raspberry berets
little red Corvettes, obviouslyYou know all that stuff doves god.
I've got doves, you knowcoming out the wazoo.

(12:07):
Are they fine?
Not yet?
When they do.

Mike (12:12):
When they do.
Oh, when doves cry.
I'm sorry.
That's the name of the song.
It's when they cry.

Alex (12:16):
We're trying to figure out who's going to take over
the podcast when we die.
Oh, yeah.

Adam (12:21):
Oh, um, I mean, the being, honestly, I had sort of put together a short list,
you know, pretty much a day after westarted of like, because, you know, Mike
was going through his health troubles.
Um, who should we get to, like?
Replace or hand off for like whatshould we you know who's who's good
in the game of rewatch podcastsnow that could take over for us and

(12:43):
the bing boys were obviously topof top of list absolutely but they

Mike (12:48):
were the prime.

Adam (12:49):
Yeah i know what about i mean.
There's always the Kings of Queens,they're kind of like our natural, you
know, we've never like crossed over withthem just because of, you know, we don't,
it's sort of like, you know, we see themand it's like a work acquaintance and
like, you don't really want to get liketoo engaged and so you're just kind of

(13:12):
like, oh, hey, yeah, how's it going,but you know, every time we're, because
we go to the same Sunoco and every timewe're at the pump, I see them filling
up their IPS truck, um, which theiroverhead is a lot Higher than ours.
You know, they gotta,that's, they, they go

Mike (13:26):
in, I'll say that's kind of

Adam (13:27):
their wiener mobile, and they drive around to different neighborhoods
in Queens and hand out packages.
. Yeah.
I, I will say that I, I don'tknow where they get them from.
Mm-hmm . I think they're doing a porchpirate operation, but I see them,
I wave, but I haven't really like,you know, brought this up to them or
like, really talk to them, but, well,

Alex (13:46):
why not?
Let's go, let's go see what's up with

Adam (13:49):
them.
Yeah.
I mean.
Mike you can text, um, Marv, right?
Yeah, you got his number.
He gave you, he gave you hisnumber at the podcast mixer.

Mike (13:58):
He was very emphatic about giving me his number at the podcast mixer.
It's

Adam (14:02):
the Brooklyn Queens Nassau Podcast mixer.
Of course, of course.
Such great networking.

Mike (14:09):
Yeah.
So, okay.
Yeah, I'll put it inhere 9 1 7 5 1 6 2 1 2.
These are all the New York area codes.

Adam (14:18):
It's only nine numbers Slap a zero on it.
Yeah, give him a call my Alex.
Let's go over here Mike I don'tknow if you should take it in
the church is all I'm gonna say.
Oh, yeah We're gonna go look at thecasket before they yeah, it's so pretty

Mike (14:37):
Can you
Sorry, sorry a

Adam (14:41):
lot of people in the congregation cry, of course because it's too soon
but excuse Wow father that was Okay.

Alex (14:49):
Yeah.

Adam (14:49):
Look, it has rest in peace in the friends font.
It's a, it's a lot ofletters for the friends font.
Hello, Marv.

Mike (15:08):
Marv?
Hey!
Hey, Marv!
Um.
Hi!
Hey!
It's, it's Mike from the, uh, fromthe, the, uh, Everybody Loves Raymond
Cott podcast, the Barone Zone.
How you doing?

Alex (15:26):
Uh huh.
I'm just, uh, my dog left.

Mike (15:32):
Ooh, kay.
Um, hey, Marv, would you

Alex (15:35):
Oh, I'm so

Mike (15:37):
Oh, I'm Okay, well, I'm at a funeral.
I don't like the accusatory tone here.
Don't know if you heard, butthe Bing boys bit, bit the dust.
Yeah, I heard.

Alex (15:49):
Invited to this
busy del You
know how it is.

Mike (15:58):
Don't think I do, actually, but that's okay.
Um, look, could you meet Like, us,real quick, I, I kinda, this has gotten
me thinking about a lot of stuff, um,about the future of the podcast for
us, and I, I think it'd be beneficialif you and, you can bring your whole
crew if you want, but, uh, I know it'slate and your eyes are getting weary,

(16:19):
uh, but, uh, it would be, it would bereally great if you could, you could
come down to, uh, Limburg for me.

Adam (16:24):
Psst, Mike, Mike,

Mike (16:25):
ask

Adam (16:26):
about

Mike (16:26):
his back.
Oh, uh, oh, I'm sorry, what, howrude am I, how, how's your back?

Adam (16:35):
Hey, the phone

Alex (16:35):
hangs

Adam (16:36):
up.
That was really insensitive, Mike.
You know his back has been getting tight.

Mike (16:41):
You told me to ask about his back!

Adam (16:43):
I thought you were gonna do it a little more tactfully.
I'm sorry, I just looked at abody and maybe, you know, it's put
things in perspective for me aboutbeing kinder to our fellow man, but

Mike (16:54):
Well, he's on his way here with his whole crew.
Should we meet him?

Adam (16:57):
Sorry to criticize you immediately after a stressful phone call.
This

Mike (17:00):
is, this, you guys, you, you're making the next one, okay?
If Marv, Marv won't do it.
This is, you're making the next one.

Adam (17:07):
Okay, but I'm positive that he will do it.
I mean, they've expressed, honestly,they've expressed interest.
I hope, you know, I, I got a packagefrom them once and they were like,
Hey, if you guys ever need us to.
Take over your podcast.
We'd be more than happy to, ofcourse, that was, I think that's
in every package that they deliver.
Kind of a cold calling operation.

Mike (17:30):
They're trying to, to steal a podcast off of somebody here.
It kind of, kind of sucks.

Adam (17:36):
I think they don't like the King of Queens that much
is the sense I get from them.

Mike (17:41):
Yeah.
It's kind of not about the show.
Look, are we really sure that theywant, that we want them to be, I
mean, we called them, so they're goingto be coming over here, but like,
like we said, they're, they're not.
The most, the most friendlyto our listeners are, are our
listeners really going to want totransfer over to King of Queens?
Like, I don't know ifthat's a natural transition.
I don't

Adam (18:02):
think the, this is something we'll have to work out with them.
I don't think they're going to turn ourpodcast into a King of Queens podcast.
You know, it's still the samechild that it always was.
Maybe its last name will change.
But it's, it'll still have the same DNA.
Absolutely.
RNA, Raymond, and a nucleic acid.

(18:29):
You

Mike (18:29):
know,

Adam (18:30):
let's go to the top of the parking garage where we
have all of our podcast summits

Mike (18:34):
smash cut to the podcast summit the Which is what

Adam (18:39):
the top level of the parking garage at Lynbrook University is called
It's got like its own little gate andyou have to what you have to do is
hold up the QR code the Spotify QR codefor your podcast at the little Reader
and then it will let you in Right.
It's podcasters only andthe cars are, are all

Mike (18:57):
bad and old.
You also, we also see that there areads on the sides for, um, NordVPN,
for, uh, Audible, Squarespace.

Adam (19:07):
All the, all the spaces in the parking lot are squares.

Mike (19:12):
Yeah, exactly.
Uh, with different, with differentcode, different code words at the bottom
of them for every part of the zone.
The,

Adam (19:18):
the cars that, um, the tires have been stolen instead of being on cinder
blocks, they're on HelloFresh boxes.
Right, right.

Alex (19:25):
Hang on guys, it's voice activated.
Ahem.
Hello and welcome back to the Barone Zone.
Alright, we're good.
It never recognizes

Adam (19:34):
me.

Alex (19:35):
No.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Because he, I just, your voicejust sounds too different on, uh,
like on recording or, I don't know.

Adam (19:42):
I put a lot of, you know, obviously the listeners don't know
this, but you, you guys know, I useartificial intelligence to completely
change the sound of my voice.
I

Alex (19:51):
kind of figured.
Yeah, absolutely.
You

Adam (19:53):
sound.
I have a heavy Scottish accent.

Mike (19:56):
Yeah, and we appreciate you undoing that.

Adam (19:58):
And that's why, that's why when I try to do an accent,
it sounds really bad and weird.
It's because of the, the, it soundsperfect as I'm doing it in person.
Yeah.
Once it goes through that filter, man.
No.
Okay, here, let me park.

Mike (20:16):
That's canon forever.
The Queen's van is already there.
So they've got a UPS van, uh, Spray IPS.

Adam (20:24):
IPS.
How dare you.

Mike (20:26):
They have an IPS van.
The, the, the Kings of Queens are alreadysitting around the podcasting table
already having their headphones on.
Hey, hey guys, sorry to keep you waiting.

Alex (20:36):
Ah, this

Mike (20:37):
asshole.
Hey guys.
Hey, Marv, um, it'sgood to good to see you.

Alex (20:42):
Yeah, yeah, you know the crew.
This is Steamy Gin.
Eyyy.

Adam (20:49):
Steamy.

Alex (20:50):
And this is Nicky P. I'm Nicky!
Yep, that's all they say.

Adam (20:57):
Congratulations, Nicky, on on getting out.
You know, of the Yeah.
Of the big house.

Mike (21:03):
Yeah, I'm Nicky, I'm free!

Adam (21:06):
That's probably Marv, you probably like that because you
produce produce the show, right?
And those prison phones that,you know, terrible fidelity.

Alex (21:13):
Terrible audio.
It's just so weird when one of us soundsso, like, worse than the other two.
I hate that.
Ay, Nicky

Mike (21:22):
tried his

Alex (21:22):
best.

Adam (21:24):
That man, okay, guys, we should, like, come in as soft as we can because
it sounds like they're being a littlepassive aggressive to each other

Mike (21:32):
right now.
They're kind of already Heyguys, I just gotta say, you
guys used to be the closest.
Guys I've ever seen in my entire life,and I just gotta say it feels like there's
some tension here Can we, I don't want tobe a jerk, but can we acknowledge that?
Is something happening?
Yeah,

Adam (21:49):
steam, is it cause Nikki went to prison for involuntarily
manslaughtering your wife, or?

Mike (21:55):
Yeah, my, no no no, we covered that up a while ago.
That's, uh, that's, that's fine.
That's water under the bridge.

Adam (22:01):
He got 800 grand, right?
So why is he complaining?

Mike (22:04):
I'm Nikki and I dunno.

Adam (22:06):
So mm-hmm.
If everything's okay, and you, you mindif we, we have a seat here, please.
Uh, pull up a

Alex (22:13):
John.

Adam (22:14):
It looks like you guys, you guys are using, uh, like a four track
recorder here, so I guess we'll just,we'll, we'll all huddle around one mic.
That's fine.
Literally, we will both Alex andI will huddle around you, Mike.
That's fine.
Yeah.
I'll hold, I'll hold toshare this microphone.
I'll have the microphone.
We have

Alex (22:30):
one mic here with us.
And we'll talk into his ears.
Alright, everybody put on the headphones.

Mike (22:36):
Alright,

Adam (22:36):
so, guys.
Okay, only one pair of headphones.
Alex,

Mike (22:41):
if you could get in between me and Adam.
Why do I have to ride bitch?
Adam gets one ear.
This does not work.

Alex (22:50):
I can't hear anything.

Mike (22:53):
Are you sure?
We'll turn up the volume realloud so it goes through us
and you can hear it that way.

Adam (23:01):
Can we get a test, Marv?
Can we get a test?

Alex (23:04):
Test, test, one, two, three!
This is Marv and the boys coming at you.
See, Alex?

Adam (23:09):
Or hear, rather?
I can

Alex (23:10):
hear it.
I mean, I can hear it becausehe's sitting right there.
Yeah.
So I guess it's okay.

Adam (23:16):
Yeah.
I think this works and is normal.
Um, so listen.

Mike (23:21):
Marv, you're, you're a, you're a man of deals.
And I just gotta say, the, the,the bing boys, uh Scared, scared.
We're shook.
We're shook it.
We're, we're, we're gone.
We want to make plans for our pod afterwe, we go into the great white, uh, the
great, the great big paywall in the sky.

(23:43):
Alright, um, and I, uh, we are suchbig fans of the Kings and Queens.
That we kind of wanted to, whatwould you guys say if we left you
guys as caretakers of our podcast?

Adam (23:57):
Yeah.
In the event that all threeof us died at the same time.
And then if, you know, Mike died, we wouldlike, you know, rotate each of you in and
then Alex dies, you know, another one,and then eventually you've replaced, like
there's multiple ways we could go aboutthis, but just in case we start dying,

Alex (24:12):
so you guys are big fans of our show, huh?

Adam (24:16):
Big fans.

Alex (24:16):
Nikki doesn't know if Nikki believes him.
What's our sign off?

Adam (24:21):
It's, it's um.
Um, It's I don't care, causeall I wanna do is end my pod
and drive right home to you?
Lucky

Alex (24:35):
guess.

Adam (24:36):
Yes, uh.
And then after like the, you doyour little like credits tag, where,
you know, you thank your networkand the producer and everything.
Then it, you know, you hit itagain with the, cause baby, all my
life I will be doing pods for you.
I think that's, It'snostalgic and yet timeless.

Alex (24:56):
You're a lucky motherfucker, you know that?
I don't think you like our show, Idon't think you listen to our show,
but I think you just got fucking lucky.

Adam (25:03):
No, I mean, I love your guys show.
When you break down the episodes inexhaustive detail, I think nobody goes
into the level of detail that you guys do.

Alex (25:14):
I don't think it would be such a bad thing to expand in the
inevitable demise of you three.
Tell you what, Nikki P, gograb the, the standard podcast
transferal pod, uh, contract.
It's right in the truck that'sparked right in front of us.
It's next to the emergency brake.
Nikki's going.
And assuming nothing goes wrong,we'll set this up and sign it.

Adam (25:38):
You, you normally keep all your legal documents under the emergency brake?

Alex (25:42):
Well, how else are you gonna remember it's for emergencies?

Mike (25:45):
Smash cut to Nikki, POV from Nikki.
Nikki's, Nikki, Nikki.
Oh!
I'm going to, I'm going to ban.
Here we go.
Oh!
Oh, there it is.
And we see the emergency brake,uh, just with a, under, on, uh,
just on top of a straight up glut.
Of just, like, all of these papers, andcontracts, and things like that, and

(26:07):
Nicky starts parsing through them, andhe's just like, Nicky Nicky doesn't Nicky
doesn't know this shit, that Nicky Thishappened when Nicky was in prison, this
doesn't this doesn't Alright, I'll justdig the whole thing, and he grabs a whole
the whole, uh, stack, and just rips itout, but the emergency break Has not been
working in this IPS truck for a while, andas soon as he takes it out, the emergency

(26:28):
brake drops, and for some reason, I guessit was in drive, the car starts moving
forward, Nicky is so scared that hedives in, you see the, the legs dangling
out as he scries out, Oh, Nicky, no!
And he, uh, he starts grabbing onto thesteering wheel, hoping that he'll stop it,
it doesn't work, and he starts steeringit towards the podcast, and then, Oh!

(26:51):
Guys, get out of the way!
Mike, uh, dives and tackles Adamand Alex out of the way, and the,
uh, Kings of Queens stay therestaring at the oncoming IPS truck.
It is still not moving that fast,but it's picking up a little
bit of speed because the parkinggarage is on a slight downhill.
And it grabs them both, they both,they all grab on, and it goes

(27:13):
right over the big manscaped signand they plummet to their demise.
Their eyes were getting weary.
Their eyes were getting weary.
I don't know the rest of the theme song.

Adam (27:28):
Back is getting, back is getting tight.
No, their backs

Mike (27:30):
were getting tight.
No, that's not this one.
Their backs were getting tight.
Their eyes were getting weary andtheir backs were getting tight.
At least they don't need to They weresitting Traffic, Queensboro Bridge.
They were sitting on trafficby the Queensboro Bridge.
No,

Adam (27:47):
hold on, let me Everywhere you look, everywhere you go.
Oh my god, there's so many I thinkthere's like multiple funerals
backed up here at the chapel.
The

Mike (27:58):
full house crew?
Hit the dust already.
That's for

Adam (28:02):
Sagit.
That's for

Mike (28:05):
Sagit.

Alex (28:06):
Yeah, they're a little late.

Adam (28:07):
That's for Sagit, they're late.
They didn't get theirshit together in time.
Um,
I don't wanna, sorry everyone, I knowlike it's a triple funeral, there's a
lot of family here, I know you don'tknow who I am, I think we kinda got,
Deacon, I think we kinda got, heythat's funny that your name is Deacon.

(28:28):
Yeah, I'm Deacon.
You know like Doug's friend,on the King of Queens?
Yes.

Mike (28:33):
It's kind of just my job.

Adam (28:34):
Have you ever seen the Have you ever seen the King of

Mike (28:37):
Queens?
I I Maybe an episode or IListen, I'm a millennial.

Adam (28:40):
Maybe you shouldn't be doing this.
I'm a millennial.

Mike (28:42):
I I like So am I!
I I don't know, man.
I liked, uh, when I when I wasgrowing up, I like I watched Seinfeld.
I didn't watch any of this crap.

Adam (28:51):
Did you watch New Girl?

Mike (28:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adam (28:55):
Did you ever see the one with Prince?

Mike (28:57):
Yeah, yeah, I did, yeah.
I loved that episode.
Alright, let me close

Adam (28:59):
this tab on azlyrics.
com.
Look at this picture of me.

Mike (29:04):
Whoa!
Oh, that's such a great cosplay!
That's

Adam (29:08):
awesome!
Get off of the stage!
Whatever it's called in a church.
It's called an

Mike (29:13):
altar, first of all, how dare you.
Second of all, I'm the deacon.
I can do whatever I want.

Adam (29:19):
You kings and queens of bitches have gotta wait your turn.
It's okay, Nona.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Oh my god.
That's pretty dope.
I like the Prince Charles bit.
We should get out of here.
This is a rough crowd.
A lot of Nikki's prison friends are here.

Mike (29:40):
I can't believe they let the prison go for this funeral.
It's a day trip.
It's a day

Adam (29:45):
trip.
It's a day trip from Rikers.
They took him over, oddlyenough, the Queensborough Bridge.
And uh, brought him out here.
Um, and then they will all be going back.
Hopefully nothing goes wrong.
And, y'know, we end upwith a sort of prison break
situation on our hands, I mean.
Adam,

Alex (30:04):
don't look now.

Adam (30:06):
Hm?

Alex (30:08):
But that thing you said that probably wouldn't happened?
It happened.

Adam (30:13):
There's a ruckus outside of the church doors, which are open.
Um, as the departing and very upsetinmates, uh, clash into the cast and crew
of Full House, as well as some hangerson, you know, recap podcasters like The

(30:33):
Fullest House, um, which is part of ourUh, social circle, they were at the mixer.
Even though they're San Franciscobased, they flew out for a live
show at the Gramercy Theater.
And, um, a brawl breaks out.
We all run outside.
Oh my god, everybody calm down!
It's okay!
Oh my god!
It's okay.
Everywhere

Alex (30:54):
you

Adam (30:54):
look!
There's carnage.
Everywhere you look.
Oh my god, look on the ground.
There's a heart and a hand.
Oh god, this is gruesome.
I'll hold

Alex (31:07):
on to that.

Adam (31:11):
Oh my god, uh, Donnie.
Donnie, come here.
Donnie, Joel.
Jessup.
I'm Joel.
Here, come on.
Come on guys, quick.
Get into, get into thecamera with us here.
We'll be safe in here.
Here,

Mike (31:26):
we'll carry you home.
Mike, uh, floors it andthe camera screeches off.

Alex (31:35):
Oh, thanks Jermad, I appreciate that.
It's very nice of

Adam (31:38):
you.
Yeah, I mean, that gotreal brutal really quick.
I'm, I'm glad you guys got invitedto the, to Bob Saget's funeral.
That, that must be a real,like, get for you guys.
While

Alex (31:49):
we have you though, would you be interested in, uh, taking our podcast
off our hands in the event of our death?

Adam (31:57):
Yeah, so, you know, there's been this spate of unfortunately
timed podcast, uh, podcaster deaths.
Um, they've all seemed to be accidentsso far, and it's just got us thinking.
Mike

Mike (32:11):
pulls up right behind one of those trucks that's carrying
wood logs, um, just, just like,yeah, it can't keep happening.
It really just.

Adam (32:22):
On top, on top of, um, the thing of wood logs, you know, those
are held together by like, you know,pretty thick, like nylon, like rope.
And, um, there are a bunch ofbirds up there, uh, woodpeckers.
They're trying to get at the logs.

Mike (32:41):
Yeah, so anyway, it's gotta be impossible, but we just wanted
to know, you know, it happened to,um, it happened to the kings of
queens, it happened to Bing boys,it happened to The Fullest House.
Well, actually, no, youguys are The Fullest House.
But, uh, it happened to

Adam (32:58):
It happened to Bob Saget, but that was unrelated and really just sad.
He

Alex (33:03):
really is quite a I just saw on the news that, uh The new Girl Rewatch podcast
new cast just also met an untimely demise.

Mike (33:12):
Oh, not new cast?
No.
Okay.
So yeah, we, we just wanna, we just wannacover all of our, uh, all of our, um, I

Adam (33:18):
feel like, sorry, I feel like new cast, they really shouldn't.
I know they were trying to be inclusiveof all genders, but I think they.
A lot of people confused andthey thought they were like
an, a um, orthopedics podcast.
Yeah, yeah, that checks out.
Um,

Alex (33:34):
yeah.
Yeah, they should have gonewith Podgirl as the name.

Adam (33:37):
Well that, but then, you know, those clones that do the,
the podcast, those lady clones.
They would have hadsomething to say about that.
And it

Alex (33:45):
also, it also wouldn't have made that much sense because it's three,
it's three white guys who are doing theshow, so you know, it's wouldn't have

Mike (33:52):
made much sense.
See, my pitch, my pitch was theyshould have called it Who's That Pod?
It's Cast.
But they didn't really, theythought that was too wordy, so.

Adam (34:00):
And you, and Mike, you trademarked that, right?
Yeah, I did.
That's a good one.
Okay, good.

Mike (34:05):
Yes!
Um, but, but yeah, I mean, I'm sorry,excuse me, it's just, I'm, I'm so hungry.
Mike is, Mike puts, starts drivingwith his knees, he takes out a
bagel, he starts creaming, creamcheese in the bagel as he is driving.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, that

Adam (34:20):
is not, that is not safe, come sit in the back with me and Alex.
Oh yeah, sorry.

Mike (34:25):
He unbuckles, leaves the driver's seat, comes back in the seat.

Adam (34:30):
But anyway, here, uh, Jess, Jess, you get up front there and drive Jeff's.
Yep.

Mike (34:36):
Alright, thank you Jess.
So, um, Donny, uh, whowas, was that your name?
It's Jeff,

Adam (34:42):
yeah.
Donny, Joel and Jessup.
Donny Joel.
Okay.
Sort of like Danny, Joey and Jesse

Alex (34:50):
Got it, got it.
Uh, appropriately named Jessupis a great name by the way.
Big fan.
Yep.

Mike (34:56):
Just wanted to get your take.
What do you guys think?
Would you, uh, would you take over usif we, if we, uh, you know, eat it?

Adam (35:02):
Well, we have to talk about everybody loves Raymond.

Mike (35:07):
Uh, I guess kinda?

Adam (35:10):
Yeah, it's kinda non negotiable.

Mike (35:12):
I mean, to be fair, you don't need to talk about it, like,
a lot, like, but you should, youshould touch on it, you know?
You should mention it.

Adam (35:20):
Ten minutes, Max.
Yeah.
Uh, I mean, we could do that.
As long as we could, like, talk aboutFull House and Fuller House around it.
I don't see why we couldn't dip inWhat's, what's the lady's name, Darnell?

Alex (35:34):
No one in their right mind would click on an Everybody
Loves Raymond Rewatch Podcast.
And then, like, and would expect tohear any mention of Full House at all.
There are two things people hateabout podcast rewatch shows.
Like, they don't want mentions ofthings that are not relevant to the
actual show, and they hate meta jokes.

(35:55):
So avoid those two things.

Adam (35:57):
As the truck in front of us slams on it's brakes, and obviously
the woodpeckers have been hard at work.

Mike (36:04):
As the, uh, as the brakes are slammed, and as the woodpeckers leave the
thing, Mike drops his bagel and says, Ohguys, you gotta help me look for my bagel!
Oh god!
All three Barone boys That is not

Adam (36:15):
gonna come out!
All three Barone boys lookdown, right as the wood

Mike (36:20):
crashes through the camera, and destroys everybody else.

Adam (36:25):
The, uh, the, the fullest house guys, their heads, um, you know, are,
they're hit in such a way that they getinstantly decapitated, but because we
are laying like leaning down in sortof a brace position, trying to get this
goddamn bagel off the goddamn floor,because cream cheese is really hard
to get out of automotive carpeting,um, their heads roll onto our backs.

(36:51):
We sit up.
Oof, we gotta do somethingabout these seats.
These are not comfortable.
Does yours have, like, alot of, like, squish to

Mike (37:00):
it?
I still feel it.
Hey guys, what happened to

Alex (37:04):
the roof?

Adam (37:05):
Donnie?
Someone

Alex (37:06):
raised the roof.

Adam (37:07):
Joel?
And, uh, and Jesus said,
No, stop.
And Jesus said, Every

Alex (37:16):
time.

Adam (37:17):
Everywhere you look where you only see one set of footprints.
That's where I was there.
I don't know that quote well enough.
Sorry.
I don't

Mike (37:33):
think any of these guys have read the Bible.

Adam (37:35):
Sorry, there's the thing, Mike.
Thank you so much for helping me.
After the King of Queens won.
Yeah.
I am.
Wait, that wasn't me.
After, after my friend got firedfrom the King of Queens incident.
Deacon, Deacon.
They brought me in.

Mike (37:51):
Yeah.
Yeah, really unfortunate.

Adam (37:54):
They flew me in from Westbury, um, helicopter.
I, I've been so nervousabout this, this eulogy.
So there's, there's the thing, right?
With Jesus and the Princein the sand, right?
Cause he carried you.

Mike (38:07):
Yeah.
That's, it's not in the.
Bible.

Adam (38:09):
I was, I was, what?
It's not

Mike (38:11):
in the Bible.

Adam (38:13):
But I was in my aunt's kitchen and I saw it on the,
on a, like, piece of driftwood.
Yeah, yeah.
It was painted in scripton a piece of driftwood.
Is that not from the Bible?
No, it's

Mike (38:22):
like a nice poem that someone wrote.
And it's like, you know, it's

Adam (38:24):
It said Leviticus on the bottom.
Is that just the guy's name?
Well,

Mike (38:27):
first of all, that was wrong.
Second of all, Jesus wasn't in Leviticus.
That happened before he came around.
That's, but yeah.
Wait

Adam (38:35):
a second.
Yeah.
Hold on, let me look through here.
There's a whole.
Wait, what is this second?
What is this first part?
Yeah, that's the old testament.
The fuck?
Who the fuck is Abraham?
Yeah,

Mike (38:48):
that's yeah.
No, he was, he was, he was the OG.
He was a good guy.
But anyway, I don't really think thatthat has much to do with the, um, funeral.
I think that that's, youknow, you tried your best.
That's, that's kind of what, what matters.
Well,

Adam (39:01):
I was just thinking of like, you know, everywhere you
look, everywhere you look, there'sa heart, a hand to hold on to.
Yeah, no, that's a good one.
There's a face of somebody who needsyou, you know, that's why couldn't
that why couldn't somebody be Jesus?
Well, I really wish you had taken my calllast night because this would have been
really helpful to work out before I feel

Mike (39:22):
like you could have said that without saying that Jesus
wrote the full house theme

Adam (39:28):
Is that what I implied?
It's what he guaranteed.
Jeff, Jeffy, altar boy, come here.
Ah,

Mike (39:36):
I'm Jeffy.

Adam (39:36):
Go, go around and pick up all the programs because there is
an egregious misprint in there.

Mike (39:42):
Okay, papa.

Adam (39:46):
That's my son, don't tell anyone.
I'm not, I'm supposed to be celibate.
Oh,

Mike (39:50):
I was gonna say.
He seems really familiar with your father.
I, uh, yeah.

Adam (39:54):
He, his mom doesn't know.

Mike (39:57):
His mom doesn't know that she had him?

Adam (40:00):
She knows that she had him.
She doesn't know that So, her, she had sexwith me and her husband on the same night.
It was the night that Idid his late circumcision.

Alex (40:16):
Oh, we have a we have a Mamma Mia situation here.
It's a

Adam (40:18):
thank you sir, down in front.
It is a bit of a MammaMia situation, minus one.
You are saying So, it

Mike (40:25):
should be You did say this is A secret and you're speaking directly
to the microphone to talk about it.

Adam (40:34):
She's not here unless wait.
Oh God.
Um, and hey, Andrea, so good to see you.
Shit.
This is bad news for me.
She

Mike (40:51):
is upset.

Adam (40:54):
And I should, you know, not to brag.
It is Andrea Barber who playedKimmy Gibbler on Full House.
That's why she's here as it turns out.
I need your help, Mike.
I'm going to need you to takeover because she looks mad.
See her husband.
He looks even madder.

Mike (41:10):
Yeah, I understand.
You're in trouble, sir.

Adam (41:12):
I gotta get out to the parking lot.
Wait, hold

Mike (41:13):
on.
I, I, I am in need ofspiritual direction, father.
I, okay.

Adam (41:17):
What, what

Mike (41:19):
I, I know you're in the middle of things and that

Adam (41:23):
look, just go through the rest of the full house theme and just, you
know, the milkman could be Jesus, thepaper boy could be Jesus evening tv.
Maybe a little bit of a stretch, but thatcould be like the Bible or something.
Okay.
I don't know.
You'll figure it out.
We took 101 at UCB together, right?
So you should be, just improvise.

Mike (41:45):
Yeah, gotcha.
Okay, um, okay.

Adam (41:48):
Everyone was so happy when a priest showed up at
their level 1 improv class, man.
They were all

Mike (41:53):
so happy.
They were all so stoked.
I remember that.
There were a lot of jokesthat made me uncomfortable.
I can't only imaginethat you got even more.
Uh, but yeah.
They

Adam (42:01):
got to the spotlight stuff pretty quick, didn't they, Mike?
Well, I gotta go.
You got this.

Mike (42:11):
Hello, everyone.
Go Mike!
Okay, I did not expect anapplause break at this funeral.
Um, so

Adam (42:20):
Just supporting you.

Mike (42:21):
We're gathered today to, um, remember Donnie,
Jessup, and the other one.
Um, and Oh, Nona, Nona,it's okay, it's okay.
Well, we wanted Joel!
Joel, Joel, Joel was the otherone, that's right, that's right.

(42:41):
Um, we just wanted to I justwanted to make a comment, um,
they, they understood the world.
They understood a lot.
They understood a lot about Godand they, they, they were great.
Milkman, could, Milkman could be Jesus.

(43:03):
People

Adam (43:03):
start clapping real San

Mike (43:05):
Francisco could be Jerusalem.
You don't know.
As, as Mike is doing

Adam (43:11):
this, we get a little, we get, the organist does a little like gospel sting.
And the band starts playing.
You know doing like drum hits.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,

Mike (43:22):
and DJ Tanner.
She could have been John theBaptist and Yeah, and Kimmy Gibbler.
I see you back there Gibbler.
I see you back there AndreaYou you could have been Peter.
You could have done all of that.
You could have done it You didthe 12 the 12 apostles There were
probably 12 people on that show atone point and you know, what else?

(43:44):
You know what else?
You know how Michellewas played by two people.
We'll throw a third one in there,and that's the whole intro.
Yeah!

Adam (43:55):
Mike starts the the band kicks in and Mike starts doing the Urkel
up on stage and the crowd goes wild.
Mike, this is a great time to get off.
Let's go.
Let's go while you're on top.
And another thing.
Yep.
No, no, no, no, you're not gonna top that.
You're not gonna top that.
I got

Alex (44:15):
it.
I

Adam (44:16):
got it.
I got this one.
And

Alex (44:20):
no way in hell you're doing better than that.

Adam (44:23):
Rebecca was Judas and I've run off the stage.
Oh, yeah, I mean, they did sortof scratch their head, but the
music was I don't know whether or

Alex (44:34):
not I respect you more or less now.

Adam (44:37):
I thought you were Catholic.
So it's, I'm impressed that youcould pull off that lively a service.
Yeah.

Mike (44:42):
Yeah.
No way.
That, that, that felt good.
That felt, uh, what is this called

Adam (44:46):
by the way?
This is, this is the apps.
What is this that we're in thislittle room off to the side?
That

Mike (44:52):
would be the sacristy.
The app, I believe in apps is a snake.
Um, so,

Adam (44:57):
No, you're thinking of apps, I

Mike (44:58):
think.
No, the apps

Alex (44:59):
is what you get before the entree.

Mike (45:01):
Alex got it.
Alex has it.
Alex got it.
That's right.
Yeah, that's it.
Uh, so, yeah, I, guys, Idon't know what's happening.
I don't know who's got it outfor all of these podcasters.
But listen,

Adam (45:16):
I mean, it seems like they've all been random.
I was gonna say acts of kindness,but that's not what I mean It seems
like they've all been random maybeto the podcast listening audience
Too many rewatch podcasts outthere a little bit It's good, but
I hear what you're saying Mike.

(45:37):
It seems like it's gonna be difficultto find a podcast Team that's
willing to take over our show.
We might have to start digging thebottom of the barrel, you know,

Mike (45:49):
I

Adam (45:49):
mean, we could always ask,

Mike (45:51):
no, no, we can't,

Adam (45:54):
and we could, I mean, we cut to, um, the, we see an exterior
shot of an apartment buildingin Manhattan and the slap base.

Mike (46:09):
We bust through the door like we stick a weird pose Podcast

Adam (46:20):
it's it's our favorite Seinfeld rewatch podcast.
Hey fellas.
How's it going big fans?

Mike (46:33):
Uh, guys, listen, I, I know, I don't mean to interrupt your, your meeting of
the, um, cast, medians, and pod talking.
Jerry, I know this is a huge episodefor you guys, but I gotta listen.

Adam (46:45):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hi, hi, uh, Mr. David.
So nice to meet you, uh, in person.
I hope you're not presently embroiled in,you know, some, some sort of, uh, social.
Faux pas, that's going to havesort of long, long term kind
of ironic consequences for you.

Mike (47:05):
Oh no!
Why would that ever happen?
No, come on!
What are we doing?

Adam (47:09):
Great.
We need to talk to our friends here, um.
If, if you guys, if the four ofyou would like to, to come with
us, um, Jane, um, Gary, Kramer.
I'm

Mike (47:27):
just called Kramer.
That's fine.
I just happen to have, I justhappen to have the same name.

Adam (47:33):
That's, that's, that was your hook, right?
That's why you guys started thepodcast is because your name is Kramer.
My name is Kramer.
Yeah.

Mike (47:39):
I'm Kramer Smith.
Who would have guessed?
Yeah,

Adam (47:41):
we have a similar hook, actually.
And you have that, you havethat, uh, Weezer podcast, right?
My name is Kramer.
My

Mike (47:47):
name is Kramer.
You know it.
You know what?
So, uh, listen, guys, uh, we,we, we're in the middle of

Adam (47:54):
course, obviously, we've got Jane, we've got, um I'm Kramer.
Kramer.
We've got Greg.
Yeah.
Gary.
Gary.
And Gary.
Yeah.
And Kramer.
Okay.
So let's Yes, come with us.
Come with us.
Let's go into this room that, uh, youknow, the bi where the bicycle is hanging

(48:14):
in the back of your apartment here.
I guess it's more of a hallway.

Mike (48:17):
Uh, listen, guys, I don't I'm sorry, we're we're not gonna
take up too much of your time here.
I just wanted to, um, Listen, we justgot a very important ask for you guys.
If there were anything to happen to theEverybody Loves Raymond podcast, I know
you got so much on your plate here.
The Barone Boys would reallyappreciate it if you would take
up the podcast in our place.

Adam (48:39):
Yeah.
Please!
I don't know.
Can I be honest with you guys?

Mike (48:44):
Uh, I, I, I guess so, yeah.

Adam (48:46):
Of course.
Please.
You're slow potters.
When you do your podcasts.
Your rhythm, it's a little off.
It, you know, They all sortof, their shoulders raise
and they sort of gesticulate.
You know, It's, it's, it's pretty slow.
The timing, it takes you out of it.

(49:08):
It's, you know, I'm driving, Iwant to be, you know, immersed
into the sound, but, uh, it's alot of uhs and ums and, you know, I

Mike (49:16):
don't want us to turn the pod on two times speed!
That's just not good!
I've turned it on three times before!
Oh, it's still so slow!
Still too slow!
Well, wow.

Adam (49:27):
Well, I mean, we tried, we tried to edit it, you know, and
like take, take some us and ums out.

Mike (49:33):
Yeah, but it, yeah.

Adam (49:35):
Sorry.
I mean, I, I hope it's not toodistracting, but you, you guys could,
could speed it up a little bit.
You know, you've got thatfast talking New Yorker.
Kind of thing, I don't mean, like,I don't, I'm not trying to be
stereotypical or anything, but Ehhh,

Mike (49:50):
no no, I don't, I don't really think this is our speed.

Adam (49:55):
Uh, as we're negotiating with them, um, Larry David is in the, the
living room, and he's kind of, like,struggling with his fly, like, we didn't
see this, but earlier in the day, like,he got new pants, and the fly is just
sort of not right, um It's not a fly.
No, but come on, guys.
You can do whatever you want with it.

(50:17):
It, even if you want to talk about thetalk about everybody that was running
for like five minutes at the end,and you can just make this another
feed for your podcast, you know?
Twice the feeds.
That's twice the listeners.

Mike (50:32):
Uh, okay.

Adam (50:33):
Really?
So it's a, so it's a yes.

Mike (50:37):
Just don't die.
We'll be fine.

Adam (50:39):
Okay.
So I'm glad, I'm glad thatyou agree in principle.
Okay, great.
Let's uh, let's shake on it.
Mike, they might not want to shakehands with you because you know,
you've got the, you've got theman hands and it's kind of, uh,

Mike (50:52):
and

Adam (50:52):
Alex don't, don't take your jacket off with the puffy shirt.
Got it.

Mike (50:56):
Jane and Gary.
And Kramer shake, uh, Adam's handand they all walk out of time.
Just, I mean, I kind of figured.
At that point, they'll be dead.
What are they going to know?
We just want to use it, right?

Adam (51:09):
As, uh, as we make the deal, and everybody, um, walks back into the
living room, into the living room, allseven of us, Larry David is standing
up at the table, and he's got, um, youknow, he's been struggling with this
fly, and of course we walk in at a veryinopportune moment, and find him in
a Jeffrey Toobin situation, with hishand all the way down his pants, um,

(51:33):
and he's really struggling in there.

Mike (51:36):
God.
Oh my God.
Whoa.
Hold on.
That's bigger than I

Alex (51:38):
expected.
Wow.
Nice hog Mr. David.
Damn.
This is penis.

Mike (51:46):
We call, we catch Larry David tubing.
We smash cut back to uh, our

Adam (51:51):
a funeral.

Mike (51:52):
Mike

Adam (51:53):
is up there, um, he, alone.

Mike (51:56):
The

Adam (51:59):
organist has gone home and only the church slap bass player is there.

Mike (52:04):
I, uh, today we had Larry David die of embarrassment.
I guess this finallycurbed his enthusiasm.

Adam (52:19):
Don't, don't forget to, Mike, don't forget to mention the four people
who saw that and had heart attacks.
Oh, yes.

Mike (52:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
Um, that, that turned out to spread.
And, um, we lost, we losta good podcast today.
All the, uh, cast mediansin pod talking Jerry.
We never found out how they were doing.

(52:44):
We never found out whatthe deal with that was.
We never will ever.
No, but the deal is with that.
All we have left are our memories
and good TV, good TV.

Adam (52:59):
And the podcast, The Feed is still, until, you know, until their card, the
charge fails because the bank has closedtheir account on account of them being
deceased, we'll still have the podcast.
So, you know, folks, if you.
They're coming around with the QR code.
If you like download those to yourphone, you can hold on to them.

Mike (53:21):
Yeah,

Adam (53:22):
so So, um, this one's a little lighter.
Yeah tendons.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Mike (53:28):
I mean, well it is 10 p. m I feel like it's also the 8th.
Yeah, I was gonna say rules

Adam (53:35):
This has all been one day.
This is

Mike (53:37):
one day, baby.

Adam (53:39):
Wow.
But it's almost over.
I also think they weren't super well,they were kind of bad people, right?
I mean, they hurt a lot of peopleand were kind of blasé about it.

Mike (53:49):
Yeah, yeah, they, uh, they didn't really care that much.
No.
But yeah, in, in Jerry's, uh, uh,in Jerry's name, we say Newman,
and the entire, uh, the entire, uh,audience says Newman in, in a very
hateful tone when they disperse.

Adam (54:10):
It's about 15 people.
Nona, you're not sad at all?
Oh my god.
Died in a whore, okay.
All right, Nona.

Mike (54:18):
Poor Nona, my god.
She's had a tough day.
All right.
Yeah, it's

Adam (54:24):
tough that it was bring your Italian grandmother to school day.
All the time.
They were all on hand towitness these grisly murders.

Mike (54:32):
So yeah, this is um, this is a tough day, but listen, you
know, I've been thinking about it.
None of the podcasts that haveperished today Are going on at all.
Like, they're just, theirpodcasts are just ending.
And actually, that's pretty nice.
We have a nice little memory of that.
Of them and the work they did.

(54:52):
I think that when we die,the Barone Zone dies with us.
What do you guys say?
I

Alex (55:00):
agree.
Suicide

Mike (55:01):
pact.
Suicide.
No.
Yeah, I'm with Alex.
I'm with Alex on that one.
I'm

Adam (55:06):
gonna advocate for a gradual approach.
Okay, obviously Mike dies first.
What?
Hold on.
Agreed.
You know, Alex and I keep itgoing, maybe we bring in somebody
else or maybe we just, you know,start putting less effort into it.
The diversity higher.
Then one of us dies, one of us sort ofturns it into their own personal audio
diary, it gets a little Unabomber, youknow, and goes off the rails, and then

(55:29):
that person inevitably will die as well.
At that point.
You know, put the, uh, stealyour child's credit card.
Get back.
Hey, Mike, get back intouch with your children.
You can't make me take their credit card.
We put it on the, on the podcast host,collect that ad revenue in perpetuity.

Mike (55:54):
I like it.
This seems scummy, but I'm here for it.

Adam (55:57):
What about that seems wrong to you?

Mike (56:00):
The in perpetuity part.
All right.
Suicide pact.
1, 2, 3. Suicide pact.
All right, fine.

Adam (56:07):
We

Alex (56:07):
suicide pact.
All right.

Adam (56:08):
Okay.
Can we sit in the graveyard because,uh, there's this, you know, I don't
really want to go back to the dorms yet.
Um, there's still all the benchesset up from the, from the burials.
So let's just, let's justsit in the graveyard.
Oh my God.
Is this where, is thiswhere Mario Cuomo's buried?

Mike (56:29):
Wahoo!
I don't
know why that got me.
Legendary New Yorkgovernor, just like, wahoo,

Alex (56:41):
like Mario, you know,

Mike (56:42):
that's a great joke, Alex, good job.
You know, I got it.
I got it.
Yeah.

Adam (56:50):
Yeah.
Let's sit around Mario Cuomo's graveand just record, um, our podcast, the
way that we do it and we'll do it until.
We

Mike (57:01):
die.
Until death do us part.

Adam (57:03):
Till death do us pod.
Till

Mike (57:05):
death.
New podcast.
New podcast.

Adam (57:07):
We should do plan.
We run out of Everybody Loves Raymond.
We do till death, but we do it slowly.
So it, it, the BradGarrett succumb till death.
We do it slowly.
So it lasts for the rest of our lives.
Actually, we could probably do it in anormal pace to start because Mike, you'll
be pretty close to the end at that point.
And then.
We'll gradually slow it down,because you know Alex and I, based

(57:29):
on the actuarial tables, we shouldlive for MUCH longer than you.
Um, and then we'll call it TillDeath Doeth, Till Death Doeth Path.
Till Death Doeth, Till Death Doeth Path.
Don't make fun of me.
Till Death

Mike (57:41):
Doeth Path.

Adam (57:42):
This is a graveyard.

Mike (57:43):
All right, let's record.
It's

Adam (57:45):
so disrespectful.
Let's record.
Stop tubing.
Let's

Mike (57:48):
record.
You can't make me.
Let's start recording.

Adam (57:51):
Stop to I know they're new pants.
Stop tubing in the graveyard.
Poobin.
Poobin in the tubing.
Are

Mike (58:00):
we even recording for our first Jerry Tubin bit?

Adam (58:03):
Well, I don't know who Jerry Toobin is, but, uh, yeah, sorry, I
am talking about Jerry Toobin who's alocal newscaster here who got busted
for touching his dick on a Zoom call.
Not to be confused with the other Toobin.
Um, yes,
so, stop Toobin in the graveyard.

(58:27):
I gotta.
If we put that on a t shirt, willwe get sued by Jeffrey Toobin?

Mike (58:33):
Probably.

Adam (58:34):
Okay.
Okay, sit down, stop touching your I've

Mike (58:41):
stopped touching it three times already.

Adam (58:44):
The great thing is all of the podcasters who died today
insisted on their headstonesbeing functioning microphones.
So we can just plug in our recorderhere and we can get down to work.
Okay.
Ready?
Ready.
Welcome back to the Barones.
Ready?

(59:06):
Welcome
Well, I don't know if that wasa delay or just a well timed
Welcome back to the barone zone.
It's time to talk about season 4 episode5 the will in which Ray and Deborah
decide that if they both Pass away.

(59:27):
They want Bernie andLinda to adopt their kids.
What an episode.
I remembered this episode.
This rang bells for me.
It did not

Alex (59:35):
ring any bells for me, but I thought it was a very funny.
It also did not ring too many bellsfor me, but I really enjoyed it.

Adam (59:42):
Well, I only really remembered the hot clothes because I remember
them talking about cold callingpeople to take their kids.
Um, I did not remember the specifics, youknow, uh, different cake every Friday.
Uh, you know, the 800,000 life insurance policy.
Frittatas.
Uh,

Mike (01:00:03):
800k seems like a lot, right?
It's not just me?

Adam (01:00:05):
Radical transparency?
That's more than mywife will get if I die.

Alex (01:00:10):
And I mean, this is also like 20 plus years ago.
And that's before inflation.

Adam (01:00:14):
Oh yeah, well how much is that in inflation?
And Rea is like established

Alex (01:00:18):
to be like a pretty Not famous, but like, well off guy who's like,
well known, it's like, Yeah, that'sstill a lot of, still a lot of dough.
I mean, good

Mike (01:00:27):
for Debra.
Honestly, I would've killed him already.
Um, I, we now have, uh, thisall in the back of our mind,
I think, or at least for me.
Every time Ray screws up, every time Ray'sa jerk, I'm gonna think in the back of my
mind, Why is Debra putting up with this?
She could have 800k in like, a heartbeat.
But yeah.

Adam (01:00:49):
$800,000 in October, 1999.
Has the same buyingpower as you wanna guess.

Mike (01:00:56):
I'm gonna say 1.5 mil,

Adam (01:00:58):
Alex?
Uh, I'm gonna say little over three mil.
Okay.
Mike was closest.
It was $1.49 million.
Oh, okay.
I overestimated.
So that sounds like 800,000.
Sounds like a lot.
Putting it in today'sdollars it sounds like.

(01:01:19):
A shitload.

Mike (01:01:20):
It sounds like more.
That's how it works.

Adam (01:01:22):
Sounds like, it sounds like, you know, maybe baseball
accidentally hits Ray next time.
Kind of money.

Mike (01:01:29):
So can I be

Adam (01:01:30):
Maybe Debra's at bat for the Mets.
There you go.

Mike (01:01:35):
I would love it.

Adam (01:01:36):
Love that conspiracy.
That's how the series ends.
Honest.
Haha.
Robert pitches to Debra,100 mile an hour fastball.
Debra whacks it.
Ray's up there eating chocolate cakein the booth, bam, right through the
skull, head explodes all over Andy.
Right before impact, actuallyrewrite right before impact.

(01:01:58):
Smash cut to black.
Don't stop, believe.

Mike (01:02:02):
I love it.
That's how you end a series, baby.
They did recently actually put, uh,nets in base in, uh, farther along
the foul lines because people keptgetting hit in the heads with baseballs
and doing, like, serious damage tothem while watching baseball games.
So they, uh, it's not a problemanymore, but I could see this being
a real problem back in the 90s.

(01:02:23):
I As funny as it is, how nonsensical itis, it actually could have been dangerous.
So hey, good on Ray for being worried.

Adam (01:02:32):
Did this happen to you?
M

Mike (01:02:35):
Maybe.

Adam (01:02:36):
The reason you, the, the, reason you bring it up, like, you
know, that we should be sensitiveto the fact that You know, this
caused a lot of problems for people.
Did you, were you sitting in the stands?

Mike (01:02:48):
Legally?
I can't comment.

Adam (01:02:49):
You were eating a big sandwich and the ball went in between the bread
and knocked all of the sandwich meat andcheese out and you were eating a ball.
I choked on

Mike (01:03:04):
the ball.
That was the big issue.

Adam (01:03:07):
You took a big bite in a foul ball sandwich in the late 90s.
Yeah, that's

Mike (01:03:10):
it.
Yeah, you got it.
You got my backstory.
You happy?
Now everybody knows.
Now I need to change my last name again.

Adam (01:03:18):
Explains your teeth.
Um.
Ouch.
Yeah, it's, it's, uh, a roughsituation, but it does really
feel like champagne problems.
I'm surprised, I'm surprised I didn'thave champagne up in the press box.
Different cake every day.
Every Friday.
It's hard to be, uh, that's, ohyeah, that would be unreasonable.

(01:03:38):
Yeah.
Different cake every day.
Um, are there enough, how many,Mike, how many seas, uh, how many
weeks is the baseball season?

Mike (01:03:46):
162 games, uh, April to beginning October.
So it's at 6 months, 6 times4, roughly 24, 25 weeks.

Adam (01:03:58):
Can you name 24, 25 different cakes?

Mike (01:04:01):
Carrot, chocolate, red velvet, triple layer, um, birthday.
Uh,

Adam (01:04:07):
we'll count that as three.
Birthday, seven.

Mike (01:04:11):
Uh, ice cream, uh, devil's food.
Cup.

Adam (01:04:16):
Nine.

Mike (01:04:18):
Um.
Ten.
Um, um, uh, cheese.
Pfft.
Eleven.
Um, um, um, I'm out.
Um.
Pineapple upside down.

Adam (01:04:33):
Um.

Mike (01:04:34):
Vanilla.
Pineapple upside down.
Ok.

Adam (01:04:38):
Twelve, thirteen.
Um, fruit.

Mike (01:04:42):
There you go.
That's good.

Adam (01:04:43):
That's fourteen.

Mike (01:04:45):
Lasagna.
Count it.
Yep.
You Lasagna is a cake.
I hate you.
That's okay.
Um,

Adam (01:04:55):
15.

Mike (01:04:56):
I got it.
I heard the number,
but,

Adam (01:05:02):
uh, Pardon?

Mike (01:05:04):
But, kids call that

Adam (01:05:05):
cake.
Oh, bund.
Yeah.
Um.
Um, I mean, we've got the euphemism cake.
Cake, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Colloquial, that's 17.
We've got the band, Cake 18.
Yep, yep.
They came in and played in the press box.
Oh,

Mike (01:05:23):
By the Ocean, that's a song.

Adam (01:05:26):
Sure.
What, the Jennifer Aniston movie, Cake?
Cake.
Uh, we're at 20.
We're at 20.
Um, I mean, Let Them Eat.
Cake.
We don't know which oneshe was referring to.
You dunno what she was referring to.
Mm-hmm . That's true.
We're gonna count that as something.
Um,
there's gotta be four more.
There's so many more that like, there'sgotta be four more types of cake tier.

(01:05:48):
Masu.
Um, yes.
Uh, pop cake.
Pop.
Oh yeah.
Cake pop.
Cake pop.
Yep.
Cake cake.
Pop.
Coffee.
Coffee cake.

Mike (01:06:00):
Yeah.
How are we?
How?

Adam (01:06:01):
24.
Can we get one more?
Can we get one more?
Oh.
And it should be, and it should be funny.
Crumb.
Yeah, yeah,
not very funny.
We'll move some of the orderof us seeing those around.
No, no, no, we'll keep it.
We'll keep it.

Mike (01:06:16):
Yeah, we, listen, we just made these people listen to 25
different kinds of questionable cake.
We did it.
Oh, frittatas!
Frittatas are a cake.
How?
Yeah, that's a thing.

Adam (01:06:26):
Yeah, so there's more than 25 and we know all of them.
Yeah, we know.
Okay.
Alright, um.
Even if one of them was the band Cake.
Um.
The other

Mike (01:06:34):
one was the song Cake by the Ocean, but that's okay.

Adam (01:06:39):
All right, anyway, what if if cake were to play the the halftime
show at the Super Bowl, whatwould you want to hear distance?

Mike (01:06:45):
I don't know a single cake song.
I will be a hundred percent.

Adam (01:06:49):
You know the distance, you know the distance You know short skirt long jacket.
You might know
Shadow stabbing

Mike (01:06:59):
you're getting off topic
Okay, so I

Adam (01:07:06):
could name 25 cake songs right now I believe you Can I

Mike (01:07:10):
bring up the elephant in the room here?
The main debate of this episode.
I think I understand Deborah's concernabout Frank and Marie raising Allie,
Jeffrey and Michael, but their primary herprimary concern being they're annoying.

(01:07:30):
I don't like them.
They're rude.
There's okay.

Alex (01:07:33):
Yeah,

Mike (01:07:34):
they're still the natural caregivers.
If you're not choosing Deborah orFrank, You are going to need some model
citizens and that you are close to tojustify doing something else, and I
gotta be honest, I don't think, uh,Linda and, uh, Bernie meet that criteria.

(01:07:55):
I think they were crazy to wantto make it, uh, Linda and Bernie.
I really do.
To be fair, they did just have a kid.
Okay, yeah, but they're notexpert parents or anything, right?
Like, A newborn versus three, um, youknow, young children is different.
You're going from a family ofthree to a family of seven.

(01:08:15):
That's insane.

Adam (01:08:17):
Oof.

Alex (01:08:17):
Six.
Do that math one more time.
There you go.

Adam (01:08:20):
Yeah, that's why I was oofing.
The bad math.

Alex (01:08:22):
Okay.

Mike (01:08:23):
Yeah, sorry.

Adam (01:08:24):
Um, I think you got four natural choices, or two.
Marie and Frank, Warren and Lois.
Then you've got Robert.
You

Mike (01:08:33):
could justify Robert.
If they chose Robert, nobody's fighting.

Alex (01:08:37):
You could spin Robert.

Mike (01:08:38):
Yeah.

Alex (01:08:39):
They actually made a really good, uh, case for why Robert shouldn't be
the, uh, provider, with him being singleand also having a dangerous profession.
Dude could like, like the kids couldend up getting moved out again.
If anyone's dying, it's him.
Well said, well said.

Adam (01:08:59):
So it, does that, does this confirm that after the, after Robert's
entire apartment complex saw Amylose her virginity, they broke up?

Mike (01:09:10):
Nope.
Because

Adam (01:09:10):
that was ambiguous up to this point.
No,

Mike (01:09:12):
no, no, they mentioned Robert dating Amy, I forget if it was last
episode or the episode before, butthey mentioned Robert dating Amy.
Oh yeah, you're right.
No, but like, There's a differencebetween dating someone and
being married to someone.
You're still technically legallysingle if you have a girlfriend.
You need to be married inorder Like that's And I think
that's a legitimate thing.
Common law?
Common

Adam (01:09:33):
Common

Mike (01:09:33):
law.
They're not living together yet.
Get out of here.
Come on.
Um.
Just don't disrespect common

Adam (01:09:40):
law, okay?

Mike (01:09:40):
I I will disrespect any law that exists.
Bold stance.

Adam (01:09:48):
Common or

Mike (01:09:48):
otherwise.

Adam (01:09:50):
Common, or the other one.

Mike (01:09:53):
Or, or the other kind of law.
Yeah, I'll, that doesn't matter.
I'll, I'll disrespect you.

Adam (01:09:58):
Just don't disrespect Common.
The rapper.

Mike (01:10:02):
Oh, Common, Common's a good guy.
I would never disrespect Common.

Adam (01:10:05):
Yeah.
Um, I think, yeah.
I think, uh, you bringup a good point, Alex.
If anyone's gonna be murdered onthe job, on a day to day basis,
the person with the highest chanceof being murdered is Robert.
It's indeed Robert.
Um.
So that, that should knockhim out as a top contender.

(01:10:27):
But even still, don't they knowany more, um, normal people?
Does, you know, do theynot have other relatives?
What about Uncle Mel?
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no,

Mike (01:10:42):
no, no, no.
Not Uncle Mel!
Bernie and Linda arebetter than Uncle Mel.
Yeah, come on.
Oh, you know who they should do?
They should ship them off toItaly with, um, To Anserina?
Anserina!
That would be the, that's the best option.
That's what they should have done.

Adam (01:10:58):
Yeah.
If only she had actually been relatedto them, because I think, Kurt, you can,
you know common law better than I do.
Is that not child trafficking?
To ship them off.
It's, it's a gray area.
It's a gray area.
That is a gray area, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess there's no perfect solution.

(01:11:19):
Ideally, they wouldn'tdie at the same time.
Ideally, you know, and I thinkthis comes Ideally, they'd

Mike (01:11:25):
wait for Robert and Amy to get married.
I think they're the natural

Adam (01:11:29):
next step.
Before, before what?
Killing themselves?
Oh

Mike (01:11:32):
yeah, before they, before they eat it.
Yeah, exactly.
Before they go belly up, you know.

Adam (01:11:38):
Your choice of wait implies that they have some
That they are planning to leave.
Decision making.

Mike (01:11:44):
Yeah, exactly.

Adam (01:11:46):
Um, yeah, that's that I think as we see down the line in this series,
obviously, yeah, there'll be safe leaving.
Them with Robert and Amy.
Isn't there an episode, um, in alittle bit or at some point in the next
several seasons where they talk aboutthe possibility of Ray dying separately

(01:12:06):
from Debra and then like her shackingup with Robert, am I making this up?
Does that sound familiar to you guys?

Mike (01:12:13):
It sounds familiar, but there's also in the last episode of the show, spoiler
alert, Ray has a near death experiencewhere he's in a coma for a while.
So I don't know if it's like soon orif it's like at the end of the show.

Adam (01:12:29):
I think I remember that because I think even seeing that, however
many years ago, I was like, that is aweird conversation and belief to hold.
Um, I thought Ray's reasoning for notfor disqualifying Deborah's parents.
So pointy metal sculptures andalcoholism that, I mean, Lois

(01:12:53):
sounds like she would be fine.
I mean, Warren, it sounds like is thedrunk, although we do know that Lois
has been cold to Debra her entire life.
Touched on that on an earlier episode.

Mike (01:13:09):
I can understand not wanting to move them to Connecticut, um, but
again, I think they're the naturalsecond choice after Frank and Marie.
Or wait!
Wait, hold on, Debra has a sister.
It hasn't been announced yet,but she does have a sister.
Why isn't that brought up?

(01:13:31):
She hasn't, the characterhasn't been written yet.
Well, clearly

Alex (01:13:33):
it was not established canonically yet.

Adam (01:13:36):
Yeah, and they decided, they wrote this episode, and they didn't want to put
in a line addressing the sister, so theyput this episode before that episode.
Because I think, if that episode iscalled The Sister, And that's the
next episode that we're going to

Mike (01:13:55):
watch.

Adam (01:13:56):
Yes.
Um, to go back to like the original, likethe main issue, Marie and Frank, Yeah,
her reasoning is that they're annoying.
And I guess you couldextrapolate, you know, look
what they did to Ray and Robert.
It really does seem likethey're the best choice, no?
Mm hmm.

(01:14:17):
Like all things considered.

Mike (01:14:19):
It does.
There's no way around it.
It absolutely does.
Um, so I mean, hey, funny can see itfor an episode, but I do think Marie
overreacted, Robert overreacted, Frankunderreacted, Robert took it hard, yeah,
um, but with all that being said, theyhave a legitimate gripe, especially

(01:14:42):
Frank and Marie, they, they can be,they, they have a reason to be a little
bit upset, I think, not the extent theydid, but a little bit, it's a little

Adam (01:14:53):
dismissive on, on Ray and Deborah's part to just not even, Put them in the
running or to literally put them insecond place behind Bernie and Linda.
Bernie Gruenfelder, the chubby jetski salesman, which Robert says in a
way I used to bring Weight into it.
They

Alex (01:15:11):
mentioned the jet ski thing again.
Yeah

Adam (01:15:14):
Oh, we haven't seen or heard from Bernie and Linda in quite some time.
We've heard Linda has been around Uh,but Bernie has actually not appeared
on the show since season one Timelinewise he appeared in the wedding The
flashback to Ray and Deborah's wedding,but canonically, you know, following

(01:15:34):
the timeline of the show, we've notseen Bernie since early season one.
So it seems pretty random to bringthem back at this point, but I
know that they, you know, theyhave a lot more episodes coming up.

Mike (01:15:49):
I, I liked him a lot.
I liked the, as much as it was petty, Idid deeply like the whole, um, You're not
real parents because you don't know whatto do with the cocoa puff up the nose.
Hilarious bit.
Hilarious.
Crunch and blow.
Crunch and blow.
Oh, oh my god.
What a great line.

(01:16:10):
I, I, I loved it.

Adam (01:16:11):
Robert gave me the vibes in that scene of somebody who is You know, a
reply guy, uh, like, you know, womanpost something online and Roberts in the
comments, like, Oh yeah, well, how wouldyou get a cocoa puff out of their nose?
And, Oh, I don't think so.

(01:16:33):
Hmm.
Not quite like, I don't know that.
I know he was hurt, but don'ttake it out on Bernie and Linda.
They don't even know whatthe fuck is going on.

Alex (01:16:43):
Right.

Adam (01:16:44):
So if, if we were, and they said

Alex (01:16:45):
no anyway.
Yeah.
Which is hilarious.
That was

Adam (01:16:48):
hilarious.
I thought that was really funny.
Um, the reason being they don'twanna deal with the barones.
Uh, I thought pretty funny.
Yeah.
They also don't want.
You know, perfect to raise thekids around Marie and Frank.
Um, the long, awkward silence beforethey hurriedly get up and leave.

(01:17:09):
Um, I appreciate the show, liketaking, like, what was that?
Like 30 seconds, like a reallong silence with physical
touches, but not like, you know.
Very, like, grounded humor in that.

Mike (01:17:25):
I, this was a funny episode through and through.
I really did enjoy it.
Um, physically, you're absolutely right.
But I, I thought the lines inthis show were, this episode
were really, really strong.
Um, oh, I had one and it justjumped right out of my head.
I'm sorry.

Adam (01:17:42):
While you're thinking of that, I noticed in the cold open, Wishbone
Italian dressing on the table.

Mike (01:17:50):
New, uh, new sponsor?

Adam (01:17:53):
New, well, no, it was the label was turned away from the camera, but
I would recognize that bottle anyway.
That was a real blastfrom the past for me.
Oh, Adam.
You guys, by, How are you doing onrecalling what you were gonna say?
Because I can talk more aboutsalad dressing if you Don't

Mike (01:18:11):
talk more about salad dressing.
Please, Mike, remember.
Oh, the, the line when they're leavingafter that very awkward moment.
First of all, the one of the mostawkward, like silent moments that has
happened on Everybody Loves Raymond ina while when after the denial and it's
just a solid 30 seconds of nothing.

(01:18:33):
And then they get up to leave and thenFrank comes in just like, Hey, congrats.
You won the kids.
I don't know that just that highlighting.
It was just great timing.
It was, it was awesome.

Adam (01:18:44):
I liked Frank a lot in this episode.
It clearly not really giving a shit aboutwhere his grandchildren are going to go.
Um, I just thought that was verylike a nice way to play Frank's
character, especially after acouple of recent episodes where
you've seen him be like an asshole.

(01:19:04):
Now he's just like, dick.
Yeah.
You know, he just doesn't care.
Yeah.

Mike (01:19:11):
Well, that's kind of the way these things go.
If Marie is upset about something, Frankis always doing the exact opposite.
Uh, Frank is always apathetic untilMarie doesn't care about something.
And then Frank gives somuch of a shit about it.

Adam (01:19:25):
Yeah, um, yeah, I mean, what else can we talk about here?
Not a ton happens, right?
It's just the argument, which is

Mike (01:19:34):
kind of nice.
The

Adam (01:19:36):
central conflict.
It's a very focused episode.
I love the

Mike (01:19:39):
moment when Marie walks in and starts playing with the baby.

Adam (01:19:43):
Marie just kind of appearing in the living room
while they're talking to Robert.
Um, I thought it was very funny.
And then they both sort of likegasp like it's a jump scare.

Mike (01:19:52):
The book parents, the comments on the book parenting.
I thought it was very funny.
That felt so

Adam (01:19:57):
90s to me.
Sitcom writers in the 90s thought draggingparenting books was the funniest thing.
I feel like Friends did it.
This show did it.
Now

Alex (01:20:11):
it's TikTok parents.
TikTok parents,

Adam (01:20:13):
am I right?

Alex (01:20:14):
Yep.
Yes.

Adam (01:20:17):
What's All right.
Well, go on Alex.
Do your, you've got five minuteson TikTok parents, right?

Mike (01:20:22):
Give me a tight, give me a tight thought.

Adam (01:20:24):
Yeah.

Alex (01:20:26):
So, get this right.
Uh, parents, they'll go on TikTokjust to get info about their kids, you
know, get, uh, Your recommendationsfor what to do with their kids.
They'll upload videos of theirkids and then they'll get
comments about their kids.
Like, hey, your kid is, you know, doleaning to the left when he walks,
which means you got to use the oldcrank and shift him up so he doesn't

(01:20:47):
grow sideways like a bad tree.
You know, they got toroot him into the ground.
Uh, so, you know, then you go on TikTokand you, you, you just, instead of doing
that because you're a lazy asshole,you just turn your phone a little bit
when you record your kid next time.
Uh, and you know what, when all thatdoesn't work out, Uh, you just rename
him Eileen and, uh, you know, eventuallyEileen grows to resent you but you take

(01:21:10):
him to, uh, the Leaning Tower of Pisa inItaly and he kind of realizes that he's
not alone in the world and that kindof what makes him special is the fact
that he's leaning so much so he stopsturning his phone 45 degrees when, you
know, he records his TikToks and then,uh, you know, he's gonna Yeah, he kind of
shows the world who he really is, right?
And then he gets a lot of loveand support on Tik Tok, but then

(01:21:32):
he gets canceled because everyonefound out he molested a kid.

Mike (01:21:35):
Come

Alex (01:21:38):
on, Eileen.
That's the, what?
That's what happened.

Adam (01:21:45):
Spotlight.
I was with you.
Up until the very end.

Mike (01:21:53):
The very last two words, actually.
Three words, I think.
And then you

Adam (01:21:57):
lost the room.

Mike (01:21:59):
Um, alright.

Adam (01:22:00):
I don't know how, I don't know why a crowd has been slowly gathering around
us in the graveyard, but they left.
You walked the room with that one.
They all left.
People are demanding their moneyback, which I don't know who they're
trying to get money back from.
We didn't charge them.

Alex (01:22:17):
That's not a story, I was just reading the news, guys.
Like, what's up?
Like, you know.

Adam (01:22:22):
Where'd you get that news, Alex?
Oh,

Alex (01:22:24):
TikTok.

Adam (01:22:25):
Oh, I thought so.

Mike (01:22:26):
Yeah.

Adam (01:22:27):
Excellent.

Mike (01:22:28):
Alright, um, if we have nothing else specific to shout out,
let's just go to the barometer.

Adam (01:22:32):
Yeah, oh, there's one else specific to shout out, which is
Gary Grossman, who plays the lawyer.
The lawyer.
Oh, what a

Mike (01:22:38):
terrible name.

Adam (01:22:40):
Hey.

Mike (01:22:42):
His last name is literally Grossman.

Adam (01:22:45):
Give him a break.
He hasn't worked in 14 years since he wasin Earth Ring in 2010, which is a short.
He played Davis.
Cause he's

Alex (01:22:53):
gross, man.
Well said Alex.

Adam (01:22:55):
Gary Grossman's character in this episode was never said, but his name was.
You know it?
You know it?

Mike (01:23:06):
You told me earlier and I forgot.

Adam (01:23:08):
David Atkins.
Remember in the episode where he walkedin and he said, Hello, I'm David Atkins.
No, I be your estate lawyer.
Um, or at the end when he was leavingand, uh, Ray said Okay, bye David.
What was your last name again?
Atkins, David Atkins, and he looked rightdown the barrel of the camera and he

(01:23:30):
said, My name is David Atkins, Esquire.

Mike (01:23:34):
Believe it or not, I don't remember that, Adam.

Adam (01:23:36):
Because it didn't happen, so I don't know where this information came from.
I don't know if Gary Grossman,2010, You know, gets off the set
of earth ring logs onto IMDB.
He's like, Oh, I remember I did my owncharacter backstory for the lawyer on
my episode of everybody loves Raymond.

(01:23:56):
And I had him named David Atkins andmost people call him Dave, but he doesn't
use Dave in the professional setting.
And he was.
David Johnson, but then he took his wife'sname when they got married, but then his
wife divorced him, but he kept the name.
So, he sort of is living with that pain,that's why you sort of see him, and he

(01:24:16):
really played that in the character, yousort of see him sort of hunched over, and
like a defeated man, he, he, he recognizesa squabble between Ray and Deborah, and
it reminds him of his own contentiousdivorce, and he sort of slinks out of
there like a scared rabbit, you know?

Mike (01:24:37):
Yeah, I did notice that.

Adam (01:24:38):
Did you pick that up?

Mike (01:24:40):
Yeah, I got that, yeah.

Adam (01:24:42):
He played Lacey in Mr. P's Dancing Sushi Bar.
He played the Sheriff inPerversions of Science.
He played Harold in Leprechaun 4 in space.
And So quite, quite the career.

Mike (01:24:57):
They put a leprechaun in

Adam (01:24:58):
space.
Well, they'd already done, you know,uh, Oh, which one was in the hood?
The Leprechaun Series.

Mike (01:25:05):
We're done.
We're moving on.
Alright.
So with that in mind, let'sgo to our patented barometer.
Uh, I'm stealing your linesunless you object, Adam.
Uh, we're going to our patentedbarometer where we rate Ray on
his performance as a husband.
Uh, brother, son, et cetera.

(01:25:29):
Uh, on a scale of one to 10, one beingthe terrible men of sitcom history,
holy Spirit, that being Walter White,Don Draper, et cetera, uh, and, uh,
the 10 being the best parents insitcom history, being specifically
Danny Tanner, uh, uncle Phil and Adam.

(01:25:49):
Give me another goodparent in sitcom history.

Adam (01:25:53):
I'm going to take a page out of your book and say, et cetera,

Mike (01:25:57):
et cetera.
No, no, no, that's not a character.
No, you can't bail yourway out of this one.
You put us on the spot for too long.
Give me one.
Well,

Adam (01:26:03):
what are you looking for?
Are you looking for like atough, but fair kind of dad?
Are you looking for like I

Mike (01:26:08):
want in your eyes specifically.
In Adam Rudy's eyes, what isa 10 out of 10 sitcom father?

Adam (01:26:15):
As I've said 78 times, Danny Tanner or Uncle Phil or Carl Winslow.

Mike (01:26:22):
Fair enough, fair enough.
Alright, in that case, we'lljust go right to the barometer.
You guys get the gist at this point.
So Adam, where is Ray falling foryou on the scale of 1 to 10 today?

Adam (01:26:34):
I actually think Ray did a good job.
He
As a husband, Debra said you gottaget a will, he got him a will.
He sat down with the lawyer,made the lawyer uncomfortable,
but he got that will done.

(01:26:55):
He apparently has signed up for, I don'tknow if this was his decision, but really
a quite generous life insurance policy.
Um, so, a lot of Ray's like, maritalresponsibilities kind of came into
the, into view in this episode,and I thought they showed that.
For all of his whining and, uh, youknow, complaining, he actually is

(01:27:20):
not completely hopeless, you know,barring the checkbook incident.
It seems like he is atleast a functioning adult.
Who can, you know, take care of his familyin the event of his untimely passing.
Um, so I felt okay about that.
I don't hold it too much against himfor not wanting to give Marie and Frank

(01:27:42):
his kids in the event that he and Debradie, but also, it's like, come on.
You, we, everyone knows that that'syour best option and there's no
sense in hurting them over it.
Um, I thought he handledthat as well as he could.
Um, I kind of want to give him,

(01:28:03):
is this too high, a seven, no, asix, because he makes fun of, he
makes fun of Warren's alcoholismand knock him down for that.
Six.

Mike (01:28:14):
Okay.
Adam has Ray coming in as a six, Alex,

Alex (01:28:19):
how about you?
Uh, I'm kind of in a similar ballpark.
I don't particularly think Ray wassuper impactful on this episode.
I think this is more of a Debra focusedepisode, um, but I do think he supported
her and her decisions throughout it.
Um, Yeah, he does some, you know,shitty alcoholism jokes, and,
uh, overall does not do the wholeinterviewing a person well for, uh,

(01:28:43):
you know, uh, becoming a godparent.
Uh, I think six is a little mean,but I agree he doesn't get a seven.
I'm gonna give him a six and a half.

Mike (01:28:52):
Okay, I'm gonna be the guy that gives him a seven.
I think that Ray did fine.
I didn't even process Adam'sconcerns about the alcoholic jokes.
I thought he was just shitting on Warren.
I like when characters make fun of Warren.
I do not like that character.
So in my mind, that was A OK.

(01:29:14):
Um, so Yeah, I think that he supportedhis wife, he did what he had to do,
he didn't go against his back and say,well, Ma, it was Debra's idea, though,
um, yeah, I don't know, I think he didokay, um, I'm not giving him higher than
a 7, even though I'm kind of temptedto, because I don't think he did a

(01:29:34):
particularly great job, but I do thinkthat he did a decent job, I'm giving
him a 7, uh, which rounds us out to a 6.
5 average, For the three of us.

Adam (01:29:47):
Wow.
Wow.
That sounds Pretty right to me, actually.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think we can get that down.
Let me just, I'm going to lean againstthis headstone and sort of like, I got
my notebook here and, you know, obviouslyit's got, you can see it's got like, you
know, pentagrams and crows drawn on it.

(01:30:08):
I'm kind of going through it a little bitafter we saw, um, you know, 10 people die
right in front of us today and, you know,we lost two other people in our lives and.
Saw a lot of Italian grandmothersweeping, which filled me with a
sense of ennui and sort of dread.
So I'm going to write down thebarometer score and then I'm

(01:30:29):
also going to write a poem.
Um, but I can walk in and do thatif we want to head back to the dorm.
Yeah, yeah, let's start

Mike (01:30:36):
walking.
Let's start walking.

Adam (01:30:37):
Okay.

Mike (01:30:37):
Um, yeah.
I guess the only thing that's left, uh,is to talk about the Baroness Zonis.
If you guys like hearing from theBaron boys and want to hear more.
We have a link in the description for youto sign up, uh, about your, uh, you know,
pay one time, what you want, your personaldonation, uh, and you get lifetime

(01:30:58):
access to all extra Barone Boys content.
One extra episode a month, uh, and aswell as, you know, you get access to
all the ones that we did before that.
Highly, uh, encourage you all to sign on.
And, uh,

Adam (01:31:13):
Mike, Mike, what are you, what are you doing?
Why do you, you're acting likeyou suddenly care about the,
the Baroness Zonis and thestructure and flow of the show.
If

Mike (01:31:26):
I gotta, if I gotta be honest here, I bet all my money on Fuller House.
eating it before the bing boys didand now i need to pay my bookie and
i'm not able to do that without you

Adam (01:31:45):
were in a dead pool

Mike (01:31:46):
i was in a death pool yes that's a dead pod i was in a dead pod yeah

Adam (01:31:51):
a death pod or a dead pod um well dead pod is uh Obviously
about Jerry and the rest, um,you know, the dead rest in power.
Jerry Garcia.
Yes.
King.
We Stan, um,

Mike (01:32:11):
Jerry Garcia is still alive.

Adam (01:32:12):
Nope, he's been dead for about 30 years.
Just to make sure.
Died before we were born.
Got it, got it, okay.
Maybe not, maybe not, but he'sbeen dead for a very long time.
Um, you did also lose all of your moneylast week, so I know how hard it was
for you to get any money back at all.
back, and then immediately.
Wait, wait, did you put any money on us?

(01:32:35):
In the death pool?

Mike (01:32:37):
Um, yes, I did.
Because it was plus 400, so I hadto, I had to throw it in there.

Adam (01:32:42):
Did you bet on yourself?

Mike (01:32:44):
Yeah, obviously.

Adam (01:32:46):
What did you, what did you, what did you bet?
Because it's

Mike (01:32:48):
like, it's like when you bet against your favorite team to win, because that
way, when you're, when the Mets loseinevitably, you say, huh, Mets lost.
Well, at least I made some money.
It's kind of like

Adam (01:33:00):
that.
And you've got your will in place.
So you know where thatmoney is going to be going.
Absolutely.
If you do win.
If you win big and die.

Mike (01:33:10):
You know it.
It's going right back to me, baby.

Adam (01:33:14):
You're going to be buried with your winnings from betting
on yourself in the death pool.

Mike (01:33:18):
It says in my will, all money will be transferred to the afterlife.
So guess who is taking it with him?
Ya boy.

Adam (01:33:27):
You got the pharaoh deal.

Mike (01:33:29):
I got the pharaoh deal.

Adam (01:33:31):
By the way, I saw your sketches for your pyramid.
That's not what it'ssupposed to look like.
It's too, it's too long.
It's long and short.

Mike (01:33:39):
Yeah, I figure that's a good monument to me.

Adam (01:33:44):
You, you being buried with money that you won by betting on
your own death is pretty on brand.
That's

Alex (01:33:52):
perfect.

Adam (01:33:53):
Are you allowed to if you bet on yourself in the death boy, you're
allowed to kill yourself on the day?

Mike (01:34:00):
There is a, uh, there is a Or do they have,

Adam (01:34:03):
when it's your day, do they have, like, the guy from Guinness follow
you around with the clipboard to makesure you're playing by the rules?

Mike (01:34:09):
There is an insurance, uh, thing to it, but he, he, the Guinness guy
pays attention, but I mean, honestlyHe's very primable, so it's not
really, it's not really worth it.
Well, I've

Adam (01:34:20):
heard, I've heard that people who've done it before, they've been,
like, using the Guinness guy to help them.
Like, they'll smoke 500 cigarettes atonce, or, you know, they'll try to,
uh, why can I never think of any otherworld records but the cigarettes?

Mike (01:34:37):
I don't know.

Adam (01:34:38):
I don't know.
I saw that one time.
They'll grow really longfingernails, and that will kill them.

Mike (01:34:46):
Yeah, exactly.
Well, with that, There'sonly one last thing to do.
That's our classic sign off.
Everybody loves

Alex (01:34:57):
Raymond, and we love you!