Lee's Chunky / 4.18 Debra Makes Something Good

In an episode inspired by Season 4, Episode 18 of Everybody Loves Raymond, “Debra Makes Something Good,” Alex does something out of character, earning Adam’s admiration. Meanwhile, Mike is recruited by a modeling agent.

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Episode Transcript

mike (00:00):
Good morning students and faculty of Lynbrook University.
As you know, each week you arerequired to watch an episode
of Everybody Loves Raymond.
This week's episode isseason four, episode 18.
Debra makes something good,uh, for once Debra makes a good
meal, but it drives Marie crazy.
We recommend watching this show assoon as possible in order to prepare

(00:21):
for what you are about to hear.
Also, announcements.
Our weekly meeting of the chess datingteam is, uh, meeting this Thursday.
We're looking for Queen to our Kings.
Also, we're having a guestappearance by the bishops.
I. They're here and they're horny.

Adam (01:00):
Woo.
That was a good one.
That was like my favorite.
That was a great time, uh, thingthat we did in the town hall.
That was hilarious.
Do you guys remember, Alex,do you remember when you
were the mayor of Lynbrook?
Obviously.
Of

Alex (01:13):
course.
I remember that was like a whole season.
I know.

Adam (01:15):
And that's what we've been talking about, but I
just, I like to set the scene.
Remember you were the mayor ofLinbrook and back in the town
hall, and this was hilarious.

mike (01:25):
Hey Alex.
We got the bill from your, uh, fromyour bribe from the casinos, they that
are taking over the retirement home.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, they say Mrs. Henderson isnot leaving and she has a gun.
Should I send in thecops to take care of her?

Adam (01:38):
Alex, do you, I see you eyeing the gun.
You wanna do this one?
You want to go bus her?
You wanna go bust Mrs. Anderson?

Alex (01:44):
Yeah, I, I've been itching to play some Russian roulette.
Anyway.
That was great.
That was one of my favorite, that was

Adam (01:51):
misadventures that we had.
Yeah, that really, thatwas just like a normal day.
I know.
Yeah.
But it's the little things like do youremember the time also where Alex, this is
the family, um, whose son died in the war.
Okay.

(02:12):
And they were so mad at you.
That was, remember the,remember the grandma?
She was like, I never thoughtI'd outlive my grandson.
That was hilarious.
I can't, I can't believe

mike (02:24):
it.
You were a terrible

Adam (02:25):
person.
Thank you for coming to The Hague.
Um, we normally don't letalleged war criminals.
We normally don't let themdo five minutes of standup.
Um, I don't know if you'refamiliar with what we do here,
but Did you need more standup?
I have like a half hour of material.

(02:45):
Uh, no.
We're, we're giving you the light.
We real, we really need to getto the human rights violations.
Okay.
I have a half hour of material for

mike (02:52):
that too.
The human lefts violations.
Belgium.
Belgium, please don't please.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Yeah, no, please.
My apologies.
My apologies.
Yeah, we, we, we apologize for the Congo.

Adam (03:04):
Do a little bit of it.
Do one one bit.
Do one bit.
Right now you're talking to Belgiumor I am never talking to you Belgium.

mike (03:12):
Sorry, sorry.

Alex (03:14):
Okay.
I have one, but it's not very acceptablein today's climate if that's okay.

Adam (03:20):
Hey, you are being accused of crimes against humanity.
It can't be that bad.

mike (03:25):
And it was, it was so bad.
I can't believe you said that.

Alex (03:28):
Uh, yeah.
No, that's, yeah.
I'm not allowed back there anymore.
Ha ha.

mike (03:32):
No, you got kicked out of the Hague.
Do you know how hard that is?
It was impressive.
It was

Adam (03:37):
pretty like, you know, the United States is not a signatory to the Rome,
uh, convention that, you know, establishedthe international criminal court, but we
gave you up like the United States gaveyou up to the international criminal
court, which they never do in a heartbeat.
And

Alex (03:53):
you guys remember that time when that old guy cut me in line at the deli?

mike (03:59):
Oh.
Take him out.

Alex (04:03):
Yeah, that sandwich was good.
Uh, they forgot

Adam (04:05):
your

Alex (04:05):
mayo though,

Adam (04:06):
didn't they?

Alex (04:07):
Yeah.
Like it's a funny thing.
I, I would've been the 100th customerof the day if I didn't do that.
So lesson learned.
Mike, you look like you'reremembering something.

mike (04:17):
I am.
I'm remembering.
Oh yeah.
What?
Remember that time, remember thetime the Mayor Rockville Center
really needed to get to that meeting.

Adam (04:23):
You want me to raise the bridge between Lynbrook and Rockville Center?
It's not a draw bridge you want?
What do you want us to do, Mr. Mayor?

Alex (04:30):
No, I said draw a bridge.
I'm playing Pictionary and Mikeis being a. Fucking dumbass.
I

mike (04:36):
don't get it.
Is it a penis?
What the hell is that?
Chris Christie took a biginterest in it though.
It was pretty, pretty crazy.

Adam (04:43):
Yeah, it's crazy that Chris Christie was trying to get
between Brook and Rockville Centerand he was, he was very mad.
Remember that other time we ran into

mike (04:52):
Kris Christie, though?

Adam (04:54):
Uh, yeah.
I like, uh, uh, Turkey on provolone.

Alex (04:57):
Take 'em out.

mike (04:58):
Oh, I'm the hundred customer.

Alex (05:00):
Hi.
I'm the hundred customer.
I want a i I want a Turkey club.

Adam (05:04):
Okay.
Okay.
Here you go, Mr. Mayor.

Alex (05:08):
Thank you.
Uh, that is sir. Mayor, take him out.

Adam (05:12):
Uh, will you accept this rose?
The mayor would like to take you out.
Uh, sure.
Uh, I do fuck on the first date though.
Is that gonna be a problem?
Okay.
And I

Alex (05:24):
do, I mean, you're not really my type of fuck it.
I have to warn you,

Adam (05:28):
it's a foot long.

Alex (05:30):
Like you're gonna be doing the

Adam (05:31):
fucking, and that's, that's a normal Tuesday.
And they had it on the frontpage that the mayor's atop.
Like we all know that.
We all know that.
Ah, ah, Alex, I'm s You were a, uh,you were a hell of a mayor and I mean,
like, you put this town through hell.
Like through

Alex (05:51):
hell yeah.
Okay.
First of all, I resent that.
I think I'm just, I was likea pretty, like on scale of
like all politicians ever.
I'd say I was prettycomfortably in the middle.

Adam (06:01):
Oh, and remember that time.
Is this Alex?
This is Carlos danger.

Alex (06:11):
Ooh, Carlos.
Danger.
Do you

Adam (06:13):
want to see my foot long?
Am

Alex (06:16):
I the 100th customer?
Unfortunately,

mike (06:20):
yes.
Take him out.

Adam (06:27):
That was the best.
You busted Anthony Wiener.
I can.
I mean, what a, what a time.
Alex is the mayor.
So much shit happened.
Speaking of

Alex (06:37):
which, uh, I

Adam (06:38):
have to

Alex (06:39):
go to class where I am.
Uh.
Noticeably not in charge,which is a bummer.
Uh, I'm gonna go do that.
You guys keep laughing about all themisfortune I caused in the past, okay?
It makes me happy.
Have

Adam (06:50):
a good time, Alex.
Enjoy your class.
Mike.
Remember, remember second, nine 11.

mike (06:55):
Oh, thank God I was, I couldn't believe it.
Nine 11 too.
They missed.
They

Adam (07:03):
missed.
I missed World Trade Center and hit.
Al-Qaeda back, baby.
Uh, we follow Alex across campus.
He walks from the dorm up the greatstaircase, across the Great Lawn, and
into Peter Boyle Memorial Auditorium,where very large classes taking place.

(07:30):
Uh, I guess

Alex (07:30):
I'll, I'll sneak you in the back.

Adam (07:35):
Alright, students, I'm sick.
Uh, quiet down.
Um, this is intro toChemistry and, uh, hey.

Alex (07:41):
Said quiet.

mike (07:43):
Oh,

Adam (07:44):
thank you young man in the back.
I appreciate that.
So today, uh, intro to chemistry, we'regonna be talking about the periodic
table of elements and uh, we're justgonna go through 'em one by one.
I'm gonna read thestats, um, and that's it.
And then you're gonna go home, okay?
And, you know, holdquestions until the end.

(08:04):
Oh, alright.
All right.
Yeah, number.
Okay,
number one with a bullet.
Carbon.
We're talking about carbon.
Ugh.
Why am I even in this?

Alex (08:13):
What about, what about lithium?

Adam (08:14):
I said hold question till the end.

Alex (08:16):
Oh, sorry.
Can you not listen?
Geez.
Okay.
Carbon.
Oh, dude, I just, number

Adam (08:22):
one atomic map.
The symbol is C. It willfade out carbon C number one.

mike (08:29):
Hey, Hey.
I thought

Adam (08:30):
carbon was

mike (08:31):
number eight.

Adam (08:32):
Hey, can I copy off you?
Hey, I forgot my notebookare, are you talking to me?
Yeah, I'm sitting next to you, aren't I?
I'm touching your leg.
Aren't I sitting?
Yeah, I guess

Alex (08:40):
so.
Yeah, it's kind of sitting.
These are nice jeans.
What are these?
Diesel?

Adam (08:45):
Nah, regular.

Alex (08:47):
Yeah,

Adam (08:49):
unleaded.

Alex (08:51):
Yeah.
No, that's, uh, that's funny.
That's funny.
Yeah.
I'm really just uncomfortable.
Now look, I'm, I'm tryingto take notes, you know.

mike (08:59):
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey,

Alex (09:01):
what's up?

mike (09:01):
Can I, can I copy off of him copying off of you?
Why are you copy?
Do you mind if I just, this is alecture if I just, just pay attention.

Adam (09:08):
Uh uh, Tyler, I'm gonna just take a picture of his notes.
Okay?
I'm gonna hold my, do you mind ifI hold my phone above your notes
and just record the whole time?
I'm saying no, I'm using fourKI am saying, are these sheets?

Alex (09:21):
I'm saying no way.
Unlimited.

mike (09:23):
Unlimited.

Alex (09:25):
Now I think Alex closes his notebook.
Hey.
Hey, we, what the hell?
What the hell, man?
Come on,
man.
First of all, don't I wanna say,first of all, I wanna say I'm
very appreciative that you wouldchoose me to copy notes off of.
Secondly, I feel like I don'tunderstand your motive here.
Uh, frankly, this is not, it'snot like a test, you know,
he's got it all on the screen.

Adam (09:47):
But we, we cheat.
That's, that's what we do.
We cheat on school.
Um, yeah, because, uh, anyone who doesn'tcheat we got is a fucking loser, so, yeah.
Yeah.
Listen man, well let me,

Alex (09:58):
let me give you a lesson my friend, friends, we're not
friends, that's the point.

Adam (10:05):
Oh, cheating.
I thought we, I thought we had somethinggoing with these cheat cheating gets you

Alex (10:08):
nowhere in life.
I, I didn't cheat.
And you know where it got me?
It got me into the office of the mayor andthen I did cheat and then it got me here.
Buddy buddy.
Hey, listen, I'm here with you.
Stop.
Stop izing.

mike (10:21):
Yeah.
I'll tell you this.
If you open your notebooks right now,I will personally give you $100,000.
If you open your notebook

Adam (10:28):
right now, that's a lie.
I can tell it.
I will double it.
No, right here,

mike (10:32):
you see, uh, the Tyler takes, uh, reaches into his back pocket, takes
out a huge stack of a hundred dollarsbills and smacks it on the table.
Yeah, my

Alex (10:40):
be offering me

Adam (10:40):
fire

Alex (10:41):
ants,

Adam (10:41):
bro.
You know, I see hishundred and I raise it.
200, 300 right there on the table.
Open your goddamn notebook.
Open your guys, you

mike (10:49):
open my notebook, buddy.
I'll give you buddy.
Buddy.
Open your, open

Adam (10:53):
your meeting.
Five star buddy.
I'll your leg man.
You're barking.
I'm touching his, I'm

mike (11:00):
touching both of his legs down.
You're touching his leg.
I'll touch his leg minus somewhere else.

Adam (11:06):
Camera pulls way back to see that these guys are screaming at Alex's face.
E everyone is lookingat the three of us neon.
Okay.
Number 13, I think.
Hold on.
Lemme check that.

mike (11:20):
Go on, gimme the look.
Gimme the, gimme the God.

Adam (11:22):
He's just saying number.
Gimme the look.
I will give you 500 American foryour notebook for also to the jeans.
I I want the jeans now.

mike (11:33):
I'll suck your dick.

Alex (11:35):
I'll give you the jeans.
But the note copying is justmore just gonna ignore him.

Adam (11:39):
Offering to suck your dick.
Good, good.
I'm, I have an advantage.
Okay.

Alex (11:43):
I, I'm sorry.
Just I get that offer twice a day.
Oh, uh, what, so yougot one more to go then?

mike (11:49):
Yeah.

Alex (11:50):
Uh, no, I'm actually too over the norm.
Wait a second.

mike (11:54):
Holy shit, dude.

Alex (11:56):
Yeah.
It's been a long day.
My, my friend Mike was feelinga little frisky this morning.
Uh, regardless.
Uh, it's a no from me dog.
Uh, like final offer.

Adam (12:06):
Final offer.

Alex (12:07):
Okay.

Adam (12:09):
I will give you 10% of my company.
For

Alex (12:13):
what company do you have?

Adam (12:14):
Okay.
So it's, you know, sponges.
This is a sponge.
Yeah.
That you put on the bottom of yourshoes and you can mop the floor with it.

Alex (12:23):
Teacher, they're trying to tea, cheat.

mike (12:25):
Wait.
No.
No, we're not.
No, we're not.
We not.
Does this mean you're out?

Alex (12:28):
I will buy your product with hard work, hard earned American cash.
I don't accept from shady deals.
You know, there's many things.
I am nothing shady, but what Iam not is a cheater and I'm not
involved in risky trades as of today.
And I am just all around a standupguy who is gonna make sure that

(12:49):
you guys get your McMuffins.
Here you go.
I don't like muffins too bad.
Eat 'em of the

mike (12:55):
come variety of Why is theirum on this muffin?

Alex (12:58):
Uh, you remember when someone told me they wanted to suck my dad?

Adam (13:03):
That was the muffin.

Alex (13:04):
That was the muffin man.

Adam (13:06):
Oh, joking.
You do know the muffin.
Wait, you know the muffin man.
Oh, the muffin man knows me.
You fucked the muffin man inthe alley on dreary lane, right?
We're talk, we're getting off topic.
So listen.
Open your goddamn notebook.
Let us cheat on you and hey,don't fucking snitch on us, okay?
We've been doing this a long time.

(13:26):
What?
Don't fucking snitch on us.
I have

Alex (13:28):
snitched on you twice already.
I don't think the professor heard

Adam (13:31):
have a third.

Alex (13:32):
I don't.
Don't need to.
People in this room, theyare all looking at you.
He up.
Look, there's a guy I don'tcare about to your right.
There's a guy on the other sideof you who is literally sliding
his notebook towards you.
Hey, hey buddy.

mike (13:46):
Fuck off.
I don't want your notebook.
I want his notebook.
Yeah, this shit

Alex (13:48):
this.
Why do you want my notebook Store brand?
What's so special about my notes?
It's Mead five

Adam (13:52):
star.
That's quality Notebook.
Okay.
That's name brand Mead.
Also, his jeans are madeof renewable resources.
Yeah.
Look at this guy withhis fucking paper jeans.
That's true.
There's our stupid jeans.
Wait, he's right.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
Tyler, he's writinghis notes on his jeans.
That's the best of both worlds.
You know what, dude?

(14:13):
Fuck you, buddy.
Hey, hold on.
Alex, shut the fuck up.
Don't snitch.
By the way, don't tell anyonewe tried to cheat on you, okay?
Don't fucking snitch on us.
Don't it?
Or we'll stab you.
Don't do it in the dick.

Alex (14:24):
I knew you were gonna say Dick, because again, I received
that threat three times a day.
Listen, uh, you're an interesting

Adam (14:31):
fella.
Hold, hold your fuckingand a fart, smeller.
Hold your fucking horses.
We are going to, what's your name, friend.
I'm Bobby.
Bobby.
I'll give you 500 American for your jeans.
I'm gonna start, Bobby,take off your pants.
I'm gonna pay attention again.
Hydrogen is hydrogen.
One of the good

Alex (14:52):
ones.

mike (14:52):
I'm serious.
Take off your pants.

Alex (14:55):
Alex opens his notebook, but like tilted so they can't see it.
And he's not even taking notes.
He's just playing tictac toe with himself.

Adam (15:03):
And finally,
uh, xenon, xenon.
One of the noble gases.
Now I know I went outta order there.
Everyone on the test.

mike (15:14):
Professor, I have a question.

Adam (15:16):
Yeah, sure.

mike (15:17):
You said there were questions out there, but what?
Yeah, first of all.
Uh, you said the first element wascarbon, isn't it like hydrogen?
And also you didn't name any stats.
You just listed the names of the things.
I I don't know what we weresupposed to get from this lecture.
Actually,

Adam (15:38):
let me tell you.
I, I was about to say,I did them out of order.
The test is going to be, you have to putthem in order and list all the stats.
Oh.
I have provided you with the names ofthe elements that you need to learn and
I will not help you any more than that.
You have the textbook?
Yes.
In the back.

mike (15:57):
Hey professor, what about on the stadium?
You gonna tell us about that?

Adam (16:03):
Look, I made a lot of movies.
Okay.
Terminator.
Avatar, of course.
Avatar the way of water?
Yes.
Is it?
If this is about my subsubmersible, I swear to God I
said I'm not gonna answer that.
I'm not gonna answerany Titanic questions.
Oh my God, I didn't really,is that M Night Shalon?

(16:29):
Here's the twist.
Okay, this is biology, so youall just wasted three hours.
I'm out.
Goodbye.
Don't follow me.

Alex (16:38):
That's so smart.
'cause now if we watch the lecture overagain, it's gonna be totally different.
It's gonna make so much sense.
It's gonna make so, so much more sense.
Wow.
I guess all these notes were, no,we're completely useless now, but
I'm still not gonna show 'em to you.
What?

Adam (16:56):
But hey, what the fuck?
Wait, are you taking some kindof principled stand or something
and just like, not cheating, eventhough like it's not even that
important that, that you're like lowstakes, taking a principled stand.

Alex (17:12):
Who I are.
What are you?
Some kind of good person or something?

Adam (17:15):
Oh, we went different directions, Tyler.

Alex (17:18):
Well, I mean, we

mike (17:19):
we're not locked in Max.
I'm sorry.

Alex (17:21):
Trust me.
Not all virgins are good people.
I know.
Wait,

Adam (17:24):
you're friends with Mike K, right?

Alex (17:27):
Yeah.
He's a virgin.
Hard, hard agree.
Yeah.

Adam (17:29):
Yeah.
No, that doesn't terrible.
We tried to take Terrible.
Take that guy's pants and you'llnever believe what happened.
Hey buddy.

mike (17:35):
Hey.
Hey.
What's up?
Give us your pants.
Give us your pants.

Adam (17:39):
What?
This is my friend Carl.
My name is Max.
All right.
I wasn't in the last scene.
Nice to

mike (17:44):
meet you, max.
Um, he wasn't in the I scene,

Adam (17:47):
but he's part of my little gang.
Yeah, I'm here.
I don't,

mike (17:50):
I wasn't in the last scene.
I don't, I don't understand.
Um, he's onto this.
Give us your fucking pants.
Let's, we're gonna take his pants.
I would like to leave now.
Actively.
Take your pants.
Take your pants off.
No, I don't want take my pants.
Hey, stop, grab.
What are doing?
What do you, whatcha you doing?
Oh, whoa.

Adam (18:04):
Oh, it's, did you just.
Did you

Alex (18:08):
just come?
I'm sorry.
I don't, I don't get touched a lot.
I guess he is not a virgin.

Adam (18:13):
No, that doesn't, no, that doesn't count.
The genes don't count.
Mike, the forgive me father.
The genes don't count.
What?
Yeah, the genes don't, thisdoesn't count as premarital sex.
The genes don't count.
Oh, here's the bases.
Okay.
There are three bases.
Yeah.
Think of it like theFather, son, holy Ghost.

(18:35):
Okay.

mike (18:36):
That seems incredibly disrespectful.
Well, the thing is, it'smake this comparison.
It's three bases.

Adam (18:40):
One.
Person, you know it's tripartite that,that also t. See there are three bases

Alex (18:47):
living inside of you.

mike (18:48):
Who the fuck are you?

Adam (18:50):
Sorry he's cheating off of

Alex (18:51):
me.
We have a test later.
I'm copying his notes.
Sorry.
This is my first confessional.
Does he

mike (18:58):
also have the seal of confession?
Because like that's the onlyreason I'm talking to you.
No, we're taking, I'malso not wearing pants.
We're taking, neither amI. We're wearing those.
Wait, think you're not wearing pants.
Oh, we're wearing

Adam (19:06):
those sexy priest robes.

mike (19:09):
You got this France?
No, that, that's okay.
You're supposed to wear stuff under that.
I wanna, that's, that's pretty sure.
It's

Adam (19:16):
Scotland rules, buddy.

mike (19:18):
It's not Scotland.
Scotland.
No.
Look, the point is, Mike,

Adam (19:21):
if you were wearing one of these, it would've counted jeans.
No, definitely not.
Your chunky Lee's, by the way, Lee'schunky fit not, does not count as sex.

mike (19:32):
So I just wanna make it clear.
In this confessional, we do havethe black screen between us.
Yes.
How do you,

Adam (19:38):
how are you able to see my, my, my Lees?
They make a very distinctive sound.
Mike, is this a,
it's kind of a slosh,
so I'm good.
Yeah, I mean, for this, youhave not sinned in this with

(19:59):
this, this is not a sin ever.
Yeah.

mike (20:01):
For, for the record, I know this is the Catholic church and we're bad
with reporting these kinds of things,but this feels very, this doesn't count.
Nope.
This is not,

Adam (20:07):
that Don't call Spotlight.
This is not that.

mike (20:09):
Okay.

Adam (20:10):
Are you sure?
Pretty sure happens all the time.
You know what?
Just to be safe, I'm gonnareassign us to another parish.
Um, but yeah.
Good, good flag.
But, all right.
I liked you Father Jeff.
I love you too, Mike.
I mean, shit.
Fuck.
I didn't say anything.
Now I'm, now it's all,it's a slippery slope.
It's all falling apart.
Now why don't you come into this side ofthe, well, let's just get it over with
into this side of the Bye professional.

(20:30):
So that's what happened when we met Mike.

Alex (20:33):
Alright.
We, yeah, that sounds about right.
I feel like he should have mentionedthat, but I mean, I feel like things
like that happen to him all the time.

mike (20:40):
Hey, can I have my, Hey, can I have my pants back?
Shut the fuck up.
Bobby.
Tyler stabs Bobby in the dick.
Strong.

Alex (20:47):
Strong.
You.
You guys are very violent.

Adam (20:49):
What?
You seem to have a problem.
Are you not aware of us?
We are generalized sort of bad, bad boys.
We're bad boys.
We cheat on tests.
Sounds like you're

Alex (21:01):
bad at being bad boys.
Well, look the, and I wouldknow I was the baddest boy.
I caused nine 11 too.
Oh, I heard about that.
That was me.
I lost my father in that.

Adam (21:11):
How'd you do that?
They missed when the planecrashed into Catalpa,
you know, and it kind of scooped it out.
Catalpa Avenue.
Uhhuh.
Keep going.
My dad was playing.
He was.
You ever seen like a movie for likean air bud where a kid is like playing
hockey by themselves in the streetbecause they don't have any friends?

(21:36):
That's what my dad was doing.
'cause he didn't have any friends.
So he was playing streethockey with himself
and he finally scored andthat's when the plane hit him.
He was the only casualty.
Anyway.
Basically, we're bad boys.
We cheats.

mike (21:52):
You betrayed the little gangs of linbrook, you're gonna get fucked one day.
We're gonna fuck you up.

Alex (21:58):
I get fucked every day.
Queen.

Adam (22:01):
We follow Alex out of Peter Boyle auditorium, uh, into the
um, uh, Andy Kindler memorial.
Um, pagoda.
Adam and Mike are laying on a picnicblanket, uh, eating sandwiches in the sun.
This is idyllic.

Alex (22:20):
Oh, hey Alex.
Oh, hi guys.
Hey Alex.
Hey.
What a beautiful, sunnyday it is, isn't it?

mike (22:27):
Yeah.
Hey, Alex.
Hey, Alex, I got a question for you.
What's up?
What's up?
Have you given any more thought to me?
Sucking your dick.
It turns out that when you'rewearing jeans, it doesn't count.

Alex (22:36):
Yeah.
Apparently these arereally nice jeans on me.
Yeah, no, they're great.
Right?
Yeah.
I'm like, double, doublemy daily quota today.
You know, Mike, um, I'm gonna respectfullypass because again, I couldn't
make fun of you for being a virgin.
If I give you any leeway on this

mike (22:51):
No, it doesn't count if I'm wearing jeans

Alex (22:53):
and I No, don't think that was the lesson.
That's not the lesson youshould have taken away.

mike (22:56):
No, no.
That's it.
I don't think that was, it's in the Bible.
No.
If you're wearing jeans, it's fine.

Adam (23:02):
Hey, Jesus.
Question from the back.
Yeah.
Um, yeah,

mike (23:06):
absolutely.
What are genes.
You, you will learn in do time.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
There, there's going, there'sgonna be someone from the tribe of
Levi and he's going to you, he'sgonna make something real quick.

Adam (23:19):
Wait, Levi, that guy from the, the, the prequel to this?

mike (23:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's back.
The prequel you mean?
You mean history?
Yeah.
No, like the Levis arere they're over there.
There's a group called the Levis,and you know they're gonna Wait.

Alex (23:32):
I, I'm confused.
When does Mr. Abercrombieand Mr. Fitch come in?
Yeah.
What

mike (23:38):
are these?
No, those guys are demons.
Put them You should, youshould get rid of those guys.
We're only talkingstrictly Levis and leads.
I had a

Adam (23:45):
vision that, um, I was supposed to invent something called Lee Chunkies.
Do you, can you help me with that?
Jesus.
What does that mean?
Yeah, there tho those are the things thatare gonna make some weird noises, right?
Uh, yeah.
I think God was telling me thatthey were supposed to slosh.
Is that normal?

mike (24:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, we gotta, we gotta stop topremarital sex somehow, so we Is that out?
Oh, is that what it's for?
Oh yeah.

Adam (24:06):
Okay, I will work on that.
Jesus, I love you.
Goodbye.

mike (24:10):
Thank you.
Anyway,

Adam (24:11):
back

mike (24:11):
to the fishes.

Adam (24:12):
Alex, how was your class?

Alex (24:14):
Uh, boring as hell.
Uh, the another, another twistending with, uh, you know,
the class didn't even matter.
Oh,

Adam (24:22):
professor Shalon.

Alex (24:23):
Yep.
Um, and then, uh, these twoguys wouldn't leave me alone.
They were being real dick bagskinda reminded me of Mike.

mike (24:31):
Oh yeah.
Those guys tried to, tried to stab me.

Adam (24:34):
I'm trying to join them.
I think those guys are really cool.
They're bad boys.
They cheat in class.
They slash tires.
They smoke cigarettes.
Yeah.
Alex, you would, Adam.
None

Alex (24:44):
of that stuff is cool.
What?
That's not cool.

Adam (24:48):
You wait.
I don't know.
The feels right up your alley,Alex, you're kind of famously
like you will lie and cheat andsteal to get whatever you want.
And like stand

mike (24:58):
power and like, I mean.
Tyler is Tyler Cook.
He's like Tim Cook's son.
He's he's loaded.
Yeah.
He's, uh, yeah.
Did he not offer you like a lotof money to like cheat off you?

Alex (25:11):
Uh, a little bit, but you know, like it's, it's the, it's the manner
of, uh, you know, it's, it's theupholding of the principle principles.
Alex, did you, and, and again,his principles, he got principles,
his strategy made no sense.
This was not a test.
He could just, could have looked forwardto take the, I don't understand his
logic here, but that's besides the point.

(25:33):
It was wrong of him toask to copy my notes.

mike (25:36):
Alex, did you, did you do something good?

Adam (25:40):
Wait, and you didn't like, you didn't like tell on them, right?
Well, I, no, but I tried to.
You tried to tell on you tried to snitch.
Yeah.

Alex (25:49):
And look, I, I don't even have stitches.

Adam (25:51):
Oh my God.
But Alex, remember what you did toall of the, you know, quote unquote
whistleblowers from the town hall?
Yeah.
I gave them stitches.
We see a montage of yakketysacks under it of like, you know,
various methods of execution.
Actually, we cut back.

mike (26:09):
Yeah.
Oh my god.
You, you id the terrible That one guythat's, no, that was Vlad the Impaler.
Vlad the impaler is whatI'm thinking of you,

Adam (26:17):
Vlad, the impaled.
That guy.

Alex (26:19):
Yeah.
A guy got killed.
So I draw the line at test cheaters.
I'm not a monster.

mike (26:26):
Alex, this is huge for you.
I, I freaking love this.
This is great.
This is good.

Adam (26:30):
Yeah.
No, I'm, this is so good.
I'm weirdly proud of you.
I know we've kind of like, you know,we've become so desensitized to
all the crime and corruption thatyou've committed over the years, but
I like this new, this new Alex with

mike (26:44):
principles moral Alex.
Yeah.

Alex (26:46):
I don't know what you guys are talking about.
Just the same old me.

mike (26:50):
Yeah.
You keep thinking that, bud.
This is awesome.
Yeah, this is great.
Know you, pat yourself on the back.

Alex (26:54):
I don't know what you're talking about.
Nothing's changed.
Oh, shit.
Uh, yeah.
I'm late for my volunteering hours.
I gotta go

Adam (27:01):
volunteering.
Uh, uh, Mike, I'm, I'mgonna go follow Alex.
Uh, and, and you know, maybe like, seeif I can learn some things from him.
I don't know.
He's just so cool.
Oh my God.
Principal.
I, I don't know.
Hey, Alex, wait up.

mike (27:15):
Wow.
Adam follows this.
Alex, uh, I'm gonna, I'mgonna go do my own thing.
I guess I got a solo adventure.
I guess I'm gonna like.
Go back to the dorm and hang out.
Off go.

Adam (27:32):
A cool and stylish young woman approaches.
Mike.
Hey.

mike (27:42):
Hey,
hey.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
How you

Adam (27:48):
doing?
Sorry, it's, I I seemed like you couldn'thear me over your, are those Lee Chunkies?
Yeah, they are.
You like them?
You look good.
Have you ever thought about modeling?

mike (28:01):
I, no.
No one's ever shown an interest in, youknow, looking at me, so I waist down.
At least

Adam (28:09):
You look good.
Do I?
Here's a, my business card.
Thank you, Shelly.
Yeah, I'll, I'll give you a call.
Gimme a call and then come by.
There's a, um.
A couple pictures I want to take of you.

mike (28:24):
Yeah.
Okay, great.
You, I got nothing going on.
That's, yeah, definitely.

Adam (28:28):
Yeah, sure.
I don't know why you're, like,nagging yourself in front of

mike (28:32):
me.
You wanna go now?
I, I don't, I just, I'm not usedto people giving me compliments.

Adam (28:35):
Oh no.
Okay.
It's fine.
I mean, you're coming acrossas little, a little desperate.
Um, but that's okay.
You look so good in those jeans.
I'm willing to overlookyour obvious personal flaws.

mike (28:45):
Oh, I appreciate that.

Adam (28:47):
Let's go to my basement.

mike (28:49):
We don't have anything in common.
Alright.

Adam (28:52):
So, so Alex, um, do you think that, uh, we should use this type of
mulch for the trees or use this one?
I, I just think planting these trees,we gotta make 'em look good, you know?
Right.
That's what you think, right?
Oh yeah.
Absolutely.
I mean, look,

Alex (29:08):
this mulch kinda like, like, look, this, this mulch comes from, uh.
From a more environmentallyquestionable location.
Look, you see how like it has like allthese like little ingredient lists on it.
You know how mulch hasingredients listed on it?
Yeah.

Adam (29:24):
And looking at the nutrition facts right now.
Wow.
You're so smart, Alex, to always look forthe details and like understand things.
Yeah.
You wanna

Alex (29:30):
go with the organic manu like manure that just the only
ingredient should be cow shit.

Adam (29:36):
So not mulch, manure.

Alex (29:38):
Yeah.

Adam (29:39):
Got it.
Okay.

Alex (29:40):
To be honest, I didn't realize they were different things.
Let me

Adam (29:43):
go ask Denise if they have any manure on the, on the truck,
but if they don't I will go.
Um, if you want, I will go and geta cow and you know, make it shit.

Alex (29:55):
Look my friend, I. Would be more than happy to, uh, ask milk that cow

Adam (30:01):
myself, Alex, that is such a great phrase that you just coined.
I, that is so cool.
That's so, you're so funny.
Alex, I think you're great.
Thanks.

mike (30:12):
Hey, gentlemen, what's going on here, Denise, how you doing, Alex?
Hey, what's up?

Adam (30:16):
Alex needs manure right now.

mike (30:20):
Oh, Alex Adam's been telling me so much about you.
This is the, uh, this is the nanny,nanny no good goodie two shoes that
you, uh, were telling me about.
No,

Adam (30:28):
no, no.
That was the old Alex.
This is the new Alex who's supercool and principled and has things
he believes in instead of justbeing like an amoral agent of chaos.

mike (30:38):
Are you sure?
Because I read your Twitteraccount and you, you tweeted
out, no, no, I'm deleting all.
Oh my God.
I'm

Adam (30:43):
deleting all of those.
Don't worry.
I'm deleting all of them.

Alex (30:45):
I, I've, I've, I've, I've seen them all already.
I just, what?
Sorry.
What is you were means what?

Adam (30:52):
I don't see any cow shit in your hands.
Denise.
Alex needs cow shit right now.
Okay?
So I need you to go and get some for it.
I need you to move it.

mike (31:05):
That's hilarious, Alex.
No, that's fucking offensive.
How the fuck you come to my mulchfarm and you insult me like this?
Back off.
Kidding me, Denise, back off.
No, you know what?
No, you know what?
You were right, Adam,Alex, it's a piece of shit.
Wow.
And Denise walks by,take her out and another

Alex (31:23):
Adam.
We don't do that anymore.
That was wrong.

mike (31:27):
Oh my God.
He shot Denise.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.

Alex (31:30):
Look, I will clean up this mess, but just let you, I'm just
letting you know I don't approve.
Take that guy out too, just so as he saw.
Alright.
Damn.
Here, take this back.
We're gonna take out thebatteries and the sim card.
We're gonna break this in half.
We're gonna grab the cow,we're gonna grab the manure.
We're gonna plant the trees 'causethat's what we came here to do.

(31:51):
Then we're gonna go home, craft an alibi.
Just, uh, you know, we werehelping Mike stay a virgin.
That's our alibi.
That's always a good one.
Yeah.
But Adam, you can't justlike, call in assassinations.

Adam (32:04):
That's wrong.
Wow.
This is a completely new leaf for you.
I, I'm learning so much about, youknow, you've been my role model for the
longest time and, um, I'm learning, oh

Alex (32:15):
God, have, you've been learning from me.
I've

Adam (32:17):
been learning exclusively from you.
That's why I've steadily been gettingworse over the past four seasons.
Wow.
That makes me upset.
But now, now that you've turnedover a new leaf, I have a newfound
respect and admiration for you.
And, um, I kind of think,do you wanna adopt me?

(32:37):
Can you please adopt?
Please.
We cut back to Mike.
Just, just like this.
Just like as out.
Yeah.
No, that's perfect.
That's perfect.
Ass out.
Legs up.
Do the, yeah.
Yes.
Handstand.
Exactly.
Let the, oh yeah, no, I got it.
Jeans.
And you know, the jeans, becausethey're late junkies will fall so
slowly that I can take the pictures,um, before they even hit your knees.

mike (32:59):
Shelly.
I gotta be honest.
This is great.
I appreciate this.
This is not as professionalstudio as I would anticipate.

Adam (33:06):
Well, I'm just getting started as a modeling agent, you know?
Oh, okay.
Sure.
I only have a lamp.
I don't have the big fancylights, but I think you look
damn good in a warm incandescent.
Tough.
Well, I mean, that's what all theladies tell me, so I believe it.
As long as you're wearingthose Lee Chunkies.

(33:28):
Whew.
You really are into the Lee Chunkies.
Huh?
Shelly?
Very much so.
Mike.
Why don't we lose the shirt?
The shirt?
Yeah, take your shirt off.

mike (33:39):
But what's, what's the problem with my shirt?
There's, there's nothingwrong with your shirt, Mike.
It says, it says name the triangles andthen there's various triangles, and then
on the line it says Jeffrey and Timothy.
It's, it's common.
It's, it's come.
It's funny, it's funny.
I like my shirt.
It's funny, right?
'cause you want it to be is OESor obtuse or something like that.

(33:59):
But it says Jeffrey, shut up.

Adam (34:03):
That's not funny.
That's

mike (34:05):
really funny.

Adam (34:07):
Mike, what I want you to do is take your shirt off.
We're gonna take some sexy,black and white Calvin Klein
styles except wearing jeans.
And I think this is, we're just gonnasend these in and I think I can get
you on the Times Square billboard,

mike (34:25):
Shelly, I gotta be honest, the last time I took my shirt
off in front of somebody.
They screamed out my eyesand they, they, they plucked
their eyes out of their skull.
Are you sure you can handle it?

Adam (34:36):
What are the mechanics of that?
Like they

mike (34:37):
use like a fork

Adam (34:38):
and

mike (34:38):
like, no.
Fully, fully hand into eyeball.
Fully hand.

Adam (34:43):
Yeah.

mike (34:43):
Yeah.

Adam (34:45):
No, they were not happy with

mike (34:46):
it.

Adam (34:47):
You know what, Mike, if you take your shirt off, I think I will be
putting fully hand into something else.
Oh, that's Leon.
My assistant, oh,

Alex (35:00):
sorry.

Adam (35:01):
Don't mind me.
I'll just be quiet in the corner.
Okay.
He's just behind the, you know,he's taking the, the film.
He's just filming.
Okay.
I'm taking stills.
He's taking video.

mike (35:10):
Mike slowly takes his shirt off.
Uh, a great blinding lightpasses through as Mike lifts

Adam (35:17):
his shirt.
It, um, you know, refracts the light.
It's kinda like, uh, the,um, arc of the covenant.

mike (35:25):
That's exactly what I was gonna, it's Raiders of the most arc.

Adam (35:30):
We pan over to Leon behind the camera and his face
melts and he is just a, oh

mike (35:35):
God, I killed

Adam (35:35):
Leon and Shelly's kind of like mesmerized by it.
So Mike, I understand your last priestwas not, um, totally professional,
but I want you to just trust that notall Catholic priests are like that.
We are not all dirt bags aregonna screw you over, you

mike (35:52):
know?
No, of course I wouldn't.
You're, you're a, a wide group of people.
It only makes sense thatyou would have a variety of

Adam (35:58):
individuals in there.
Are you, are you calling me fat?
What?
Are you calling me fat?
I didn't, you said I'm wide.
No.
Okay.
Jesus curse.
You're the Ark of the Covenant now.
Fuck you get outta here.
No, no.
Um, we cut back to the basement.
Uh, the entire, like the walls of thebasement have been stripped of all paint.

(36:19):
And like stu, it's completely desolate.
Um, oh my God, Mike, I can'tbelieve that is incredible.

mike (36:31):
Can I, can I put my funny math t-shirt back on?

Adam (36:35):
Mike, you're never putting your funny math t-shirt on again.

mike (36:39):
I, I murdered a man.
I don't think this is a good idea.
Put your leg

Adam (36:44):
up on the chair.
But I, okay.
Alright.
Big Slosh from the Chunkies.
Alex and Adam are at Lynbrook Town Hallat the, um, like name change office.
Um, and as we pass in front ofthe town hall, you know, Lynbrook

(37:04):
has, uh, its own kind of time.
It has its times triangle, um,where there's a giant billboard,
a giant billboard with Mike.
Um, but it's only from the waist down.
Hmm.
Does that look familiar to you, Alex?

Alex (37:25):
You know.
I kind of feel like I've seenthat like small dick before.
Like, it, it, it looks like my, likemy 2:00 AM sleep paralysis demon.
You know, when I wake up in themiddle of the night and I turn over
and I look and I see exactly thatstanding at the edge of my bed.
Yeah.

Adam (37:43):
And that's like a nightmare.
And that's not real.
Like no one's actually standing.
That's not real.
I've learned that.
Like one of your roommates, my

Alex (37:50):
therapist has explained it to me.
So there is nothing in theplanet earth that could possibly
actually look like that.

Adam (37:59):
Okay.
Let's go inside.
Um, this is great.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you so much for this.
You know, I lost my parents innine 11 too, so I think it's,
it's gonna really complete meto, uh, totally freak accident.

Alex (38:12):
Yeah.
I, you know, it, it's an honor.
It's the greatest honor of, of my weekto, uh, to name you, uh, Adam, Jr.

Adam (38:25):
That is so kind.
Changing my last name to junior.
Yep.

mike (38:31):
Adoption office.
How can I help you?

Alex (38:34):
I, this man wants to become my son.
I don't know why and I'mnot asking questions.
It's

Adam (38:38):
because he's turned over a new leaf and I admire him now.

mike (38:42):
That's wonderful.
Can I get the name of the adoptee?
The adopter

Alex (38:48):
dad and son?

mike (38:51):
No, that's not, no, I need like your social security numbers.
I need, unless you want tolegally changed your name.
Look, look.
It's fine.
Dad, son.
We can do that.
Nothing's permanent.
I got one guy that comes inhere every week and just changes
his last name by lettuce.
It's not, it's not that Dave.
It's not permanent.

Adam (39:13):
Yeah, I know that guy.

mike (39:14):
Um, you know, yeah.
Oh, that guy's a fucking nutcase.

Adam (39:17):
I saw his fucking nutcase out on that billboard.
I mean, his pants.
Oh God.

mike (39:22):
Is that him?

Adam (39:24):
Listen, I want, yeah, I'm, I'm listening.
My name is, what's your name by the way,

Alex (39:32):
Roz?
You don't have to ask thename of everyone we meet Adam.

Adam (39:37):
I,

Alex (39:37):
you know, son, if we're gonna do this.
Alex, you gotta learn to bea little more personable.

Adam (39:43):
Alex.
I'm not really, um, I don't respondwell to that type of criticism.
So like, okay.
Sorry.
We're just testing the lines.
Just don't, no, I mean, like, don'tlike reprimand me in front of Roz.
It's like she is, youknow, a professional.
She's doing her job and, uh,I don't really appreciate you
talking down to me like that.

mike (40:05):
Gentlemen, I'm holding up the line.
Are you becoming a family or not?
You gotta make a choice here.

Adam (40:10):
Nope.
What changed my mind?
Nope.
What happened?
Alex was an asshole to me.

mike (40:15):
I do agree that guy was an asshole to you, which is the most bodily thing.
But now you've wasted my time.
You've wasted your time and the familybehind you, you wasted their time as well.
Wait, wait.
So I'm, we

Adam (40:26):
came to this realization, wait, Roz, did we, do we screw
something up at Linbrook Town Hall?
What do you mean?
This is deja vu.
This is, this is, uh, thisis ringing a bell for me.
I mean, the

mike (40:39):
previous, previous mayoral administration
really screwed up everything.
They were really bad at record keeping.

Alex (40:45):
Well, I heard they had, he had bad assistance.
Um, you know, I learned something today.

mike (40:52):
Oh,

Alex (40:52):
good.

mike (40:53):
Good for you.
Can I get the next in

Alex (40:55):
line?
What I learned was.
That the, that the foxfrom Zootopia was right.
If the world's only ever gonnasee a conniving asshole, you
might as well just be that.

mike (41:11):
I don't know.
You, you just told it up a lie.
So I learned my

Alex (41:14):
lesson.

mike (41:15):
I How did you get that?
Self-improvement

Alex (41:17):
is for suckers.

mike (41:19):
That's not at all what I'm gonna saying.
I'm gonna tell you

Alex (41:21):
what Roz, I'm

mike (41:22):
just saying.
I wanted to like come up.
I'm going into my lunch break here.
You know I, yeah.

Alex (41:27):
Oh, take her out.

mike (41:29):
What?

Alex (41:32):
Great character growth.
Goodnight everyone.
I'm going home.
Come on, son.
No,

Adam (41:37):
no, no.
I said come on.
You just reminded me thatI do not wanna be your son.
I'm sitting right here onthis curb in Times Triangle.
And I'm not moving until you get thefuck outta here and leave me alone.
Um, hi, um, my name is Shelly Shell Lee.
Um, this is my new husband, Mike.

(41:57):
And, um, hi.
We're here to change his name and becausewhen we got married in a, uh, kind of
unorthodox way, I, the only way forus to do that is for me to adopt him.
So he would like to be Mike Lee.

mike (42:12):
Oh, our name change person just got assassinated.
We don't really have theability to, Hey, I'm here.

Alex (42:17):
Here, I'm here.
I'm your replacement.
I got, sorry.
Alright.
Alright.
Hi, I'm Baz.

Adam (42:24):
Hi Baz.
Um, hi.
Hi Baz.
My name's Shell.
I don't know if you recognize me.
I'm the heirs to the Lee Fortune.
No.
This sexy hunk of man andwalking advertisement for my
products, um, is my new husband.
I would like to adopt him andlegally change his name to Mike Lee.

mike (42:44):
I don't have a, uh, paperwork or ID or anything.

Alex (42:48):
Oh, I know you, you're in here every other week.
Yeah.
We have your stuff on file.

mike (42:53):
Oh,

Alex (42:53):
boop Mike.
What about as soon

mike (42:55):
as this gets processed?
Oh, here's

Alex (42:56):
your punch card.
You get a free sandwich.

mike (42:59):
Oh, yay.
Hey, I got a sandwich.
Foot long.
It's a foot.
It's a foot

Adam (43:02):
long.
It's a foot long.
Great.
We've

Alex (43:04):
come full circle,

Adam (43:05):
Mike.
As soon as this gets processed,you and I are gonna have sex.
Shelly reaches down oh cups, Mikein the dick through the jeans.

mike (43:18):
Father.
Is it still okay if it's over the jeans?
What do you mean?
Okay, Mike, it's like, is the sin.
Were you married?
She says we were, but Ididn't, I didn't sign anything.
Mike.
I might be in a deeply problematicrelationship, but I don't really, I don't
really know how I got myself into this.
After you cursed me with the arc of thecovenant, I actually killed a few guys.

(43:42):
And, uh, then I, okay, you don't, you're

Adam (43:45):
oversharing, or I don't need to know this.
Why, why are you, oh, you, why areyou telling me all of this stuff?

mike (43:50):
I mean, it's confession.
I thought that you might, you know, likethe point is to say, wait, wait, sorry.
Is this

Adam (43:56):
the, this is the Catholic church.
Yeah.
Catholic church.
Shit.
Oh shit.
I'm a rabbi.
I gotta go.

mike (44:02):
Oh, wait, wait.
Don't, don't tell anybody.
No.

Adam (44:06):
I'm so excited to be giving expert testimony here at The Hague.
Um, but first I gottatell you about this guy.
Okay?
So he is these fucking huge genes.
Okay?
I love this one.
I love this one.
Belgium, shut the fuck up.

mike (44:19):
No, I don't.
No, but, but it's fun.
I'm sorry.

Adam (44:22):
So anyway, this guy's got these huge jeans and this tiny dick.
No, don't give him the light yet.
Don't give him the light yet.
This is good stuff.
Give him 30 As, uh, as,uh, what's her name?
Shell, uh, cups his dick, MikeManix and runs out of the town hall.

(44:46):
Mike runs out of the double doors atthe entrance to town hall and runs
past Adam, uh, in Times Triangle.
Mike.
Hey, hey, hey.
Oh, check this out.
This is really cool.
The billboard up there.
And that's you, right?
Oh,

mike (45:01):
no.
Yeah, that's me.

Adam (45:03):
What's super cool about it, it looks like it's just a picture,
but it's actually a video andthere's a countdown on the belt and
I think he's gonna lift his shirt.
He's reaching down realslow, like to lift his shirt.
Adam, I

mike (45:14):
need you to look away real

Adam (45:15):
quick.
Oh look, it's going down.
Okay, everybody, everybodygather around 3, 2, 1.

mike (45:22):
Mike tackles Adam.

Adam (45:26):
So Mike grabs Adam and they turn away so that they're very Indiana Jones.
Um, as all of the, and for some reasonI guess the Nazis were in town and they
all completely, so Alex, they're callingit 9 11 3, but it's good this time.
Isn't that crazy?

Alex (45:44):
Wow, that's amazing.
And it's all because ofMike, you did amazing.

Adam (45:47):
Mike's, what is wrong with you?
Again?
We don't have time toget into it, but man, I

mike (45:51):
got cursed by a think a rabbi pretending to be a
con confess, which is weird.
He was confused, but it's weird becauseI don't think rabbis do confession.
So it's uh, it's, it's strange.
Oh God, I really have to, shit.
Oh, this, this is gotta be the

Adam (46:05):
bathroom, right?
There's two stalls.
Okay,

mike (46:07):
here we go.
Father, forgive me for I have sinned.

Adam (46:11):
Uh, yeah, man.
Crazy day.
I thought Alex was a good guy.
And then I remembered that Alex was abad guy and I kinda lost interest in him.
Mike had a whole thing.

mike (46:23):
I think I'm technically married to my adopted mother.
That's on brand for you.
Yeah.

Adam (46:28):
That, that feels right.
And you have to, you said you haveto wear those jeans all the time now.
Forever.

mike (46:35):
Yeah.
No, that was part of the contractthat I unwittingly signed.
I don't know how I got forced into this.

Alex (46:39):
Sounds like you were hoisted by her own pitard yet again.
Michael.

Adam (46:43):
Mike did.
I think I know what happened.
Did somebody give you a compliment?
Yeah.
Okay.
That'll do it.
That'll, that'll take it out.
Yep.
So what did we all, this is a long day.
We kind of, we, Alex and I went toa mulch farm to plant trees, which
doesn't seem like a charity thingafter all, but, um, and then some other

(47:05):
stuff happened and now we're here.
Um, I think I learned that doing one goodthing doesn't actually make somebody very
good at something and you shouldn't like,you know, give them any kind, like you
shouldn't like them more because of that.

mike (47:21):
I don't know.
What did you learn, Mike?
I learned to not take my shirt off.

Adam (47:28):
It's a good lesson.
Good, good lesson.

Alex (47:30):
Good.
Alex, learn anything?
Uh, I kinda already gave my bigspiel, uh, earlier, but uh, overall
I'm just going to stop trying.
Um, that's kind of what I learned.
I. And until someone tells meotherwise, I'm gonna keep moving
forward with full confidence.

Adam (47:48):
Alright, so let's, uh, go ahead and record the podcast then.
Welcome back to the Barone Zone.
We're talking aboutseason four, episode 18.
Debra makes something good.
Uh, de makes something, I mean,it's right there in the title, guys.
A cla another classicepisode, don't you think?

(48:08):
This is, yeah.
I'll give a fun fact.
This is the eighth highest ratedepisode on IMDB number eight out
of 210, and the only one that'sin the top 10 before season five.
Really?
Oh, really?
Yes.
This is apparently where it starts toget good according to, I mean, yes,

mike (48:29):
I did think this was a phenomenal episode.
I thought that I really enjoyed it.
Yeah.
The, the scene with the five, uh,main characters in the kitchen.
And the, the sauce all over Raymond'span pants and all that stuff.
I fully thought that that wasjust working at its absolute best.
I loved it.
I thought it was, it felt like acomedy troupe at its at its highest

(48:50):
performance, very strong ensemble work.
Yeah.
That being said, I don't think ifI, I would agree that this is the
funniest episode we've seen so far.

Adam (48:58):
Um, no, I, I'm not saying that either.
I actually didn't think it was very,like, there were very few laughs um.
I think what people are probablyresponding to is what you're
talking about, of like thetightness of the ensemble.
The like premise of this episode, uh, isvery strong, I think of like, for sure.

(49:20):
You know, we have established overalmost five seasons that Deborah is
a terrible cook, therefore we flop,you know, flip that and ev everything
kind of unravels from their world, so.
Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.
It's a really good, uh, incitingaction for this episode.

mike (49:38):
This is another one where we talked about towards the beginning
of this podcast, how, like even atthe beginning, even a couple episodes
in, they started doing work that likerewarded routine viewing of the, uh, show.
This is one that would never land, I thinkin the first season because it's just,
you've established the character so much.
The moment when.

(49:59):
Frank suggested, uh, Hey Marie, youshould get this recipe from Deborah.
The crowd goes just,

Alex (50:06):
yeah.
Like, yeah.
The crowd, the crowdunderstands what's coming.
Yeah.
This crowd was, this crowdknows throughout this cast.

mike (50:13):
Yeah.
Without, but like before Marie evenreally got a chance to react, they
knew that that was not gonna fly.
Yeah.
You would never get that inthe first season of anything.
And I thought that that was atestament to how well the characters
had been established throughoutthe first four and a half seasons.
Mm-hmm.
I think so

Adam (50:31):
Alex, overall thoughts on the episode?

Alex (50:33):
Uh, yeah, it's, it, it was enjoyable.
I liked how simple the premise is.
It really shows the, i, I think thestrength of these characters where you can
put them in just like a simple situation.
I think, again, the Barone formulais basically unchanged here.
Um, but I, I, again, I'm notreally getting tired of it yet.

(50:56):
I, I think it fits Yeah, nicely.
Uh, you know, you see where theepisode's going a million miles away.
I. It did kind of catch me off guard howhalfway through the episode it turned into
kind of like Ray, not respecting Deborah,which I think is a good conversation to
have and I'm curious to see if it sticks.
I doubt it will becauseit's a sitcom of course.

(51:16):
Um, but, um, yeah, I, I was expectingthis to be a way more Marie Centrist
episode than it turned out being.

Adam (51:24):
Yeah.
I was surprised how Ray's trajectoryin this episode changed of.
Like it is definitely a left turnfrom like, oh, Ray is excited that
Deborah is making something good,and how does that affect his life,
not the direction that they did go.

(51:44):
Uh, of Ray is excited that Deborahmade something good, but it's undercut.
When she finds out that he's beenmaking fun of her cooking for years.

mike (51:55):
Yeah.
So I also will say even the synopsis ofthis episode, which is just Deborah makes
a good meal and it drives Marie crazy.
Doesn't really get the full picture.
No.
This is much more, this is, thiskind of turns into an analysis of
what are wife jokes and why arethey like accepted than it is.
Uh, anything else?

Adam (52:12):
This is really building on, I think from Hacked, do the sort of
theme of race, kind of maladaptive,toxic masculinity traits of um, sort of
getting, trying to get along with othermen and make connections with other men.
Mm-hmm.
For Ray seems to, he'sinternalized that it is.

(52:35):
You do that by puttingwomen down basically.
Yeah.
This, this continuous

Alex (52:40):
introspective has been appreciated by the show or by me from the show.

Adam (52:45):
This is, I think, why the show gets praised for being like very grounded.
Um, because instead of doing awacky and they do wacky episodes,
but centering their relationshipand their dynamic in it mm-hmm.
Is much more grounded and Yeah.
I, I, I like Yeah.
Yeah.
Treats them

Alex (53:05):
like full characters.
I like that.
It always comes back to the characters.
They just like, they give you them a newsituation and then they basically, the
entire episode is always, usually written,like, how do they respond to this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I, I do love that Ray's first responseto trying some of Deborah's food and it
being insane is him just running overto his parents' house to be like, yeah,

(53:28):
you guys try, you guys gotta try this.

Adam (53:31):
So let's, let's break it down.
Cold, open.
Debra made Braul, um, which is essentiallyany, it's, it's vague, but it's braised.
Italian meat of, ofsome kind, uh, in sauce.
Um, and I'm sure anyone,Hey, we want engagement.

(53:51):
Email us with your Brazo recipe.
Um, but do a baroni

Alex (53:55):
where we taste test them.

Adam (53:57):
That's good.
You know, podcast, podcast.
That's actually not a bad idea.
I like that.
Cooking podcast is, ismouth sounds people love.
Mouth sounds.
Mm-hmm.
What if we stop doing this show and just we pivot into a SMR?
I think we'd somehow lose money.
I'd say it's

Alex (54:13):
about time I, I feel like we'd lose like 20 people and gain a couple thousand.

Adam (54:21):
I think it would make us more popular.
I think people wouldn't like the improv.

Alex (54:27):
That seems to be an ongoing theme.
We got

mike (54:30):
two Mike outside of the church and he's shit himself again.
Oh God.
No.
I shit myself.
Oh no.
God uh.
Hey, father Jeff.
Father Jeff.
I shit myself.
It's not a sin.
No, I shit myself too.
You shit Myself too.
I also shit myself.
I'm good.

(54:50):
I'm just, I'm walking past, hey shit.
We're here on Catalpa.
Yeah.
Shit.
Myself on my shit.
Myself on Catalpa.
Mike shits himself.
Mike shits himself.
We see Mike shit himself.
It's awesome.

Alex (55:07):
Goes everywhere.

mike (55:08):
The reviews are, the reviews of this podcast are all love the mouth sounds,
what the fuck are they trying to do?
Who this for?
What is shit for this for?

Adam (55:25):
Um, yes.
So Deborah made bra.
Joel Ray is hesitant totry it, but he likes it.
Debra's thrill, she smacks his ass.
And then, yeah, as soon as Deborah goesto help Allie, uh, Ray looks around and
then goes out the back door with hisplate over to Frank and Marie's assets.

(55:46):
Hey, uh, can, can I

Alex (55:48):
say I, I think Ray really fucked up here.
Uh, like this is just like,this is just like the most like.
Concrete example to me about how positivereinforcement does not work on Ray at all.
Dude's wife slaps his ass because hecomplimented her cooking and then he's

(56:08):
like, the next day he is like, Hmm, Ithink I'm gonna shit on my wife some more.
It's like, dude, youjust learned the secret.
Yeah.

mike (56:18):
I also just think he went over to Frank and Marie to like be
like, Hey, Debra did something good.
Now don't get me wrong, that's notactually what he said, but that was at
least the, the, that's kind of the vibe.
He was like, yeah, itwouldn't have been a big

Alex (56:33):
deal if he was, if, if, if he was always, he, if he
always enjoyed her cooking or wasalways respecting of her cooking.
Right.

Adam (56:42):
This is notable, suck it, you know, is kind of the energy
that he goes over there with.
Mm-hmm.
Right, right.
Um.
Frank Marine Robert areplaying Clue, uh, plug

mike (56:53):
for clue.
Product placement.
Maybe

Adam (56:55):
Frank, I'd like to call on Mrs. Peacock with the lead pipe.
Um, I'm surprised that Frank sayingtough crap Peacock doesn't make
like the peacock sizzle reel ads.
You know, they have like the officewhere it's like, oh man, this is great.

(57:17):
And like, stuff like, ohwow, peacock's awesome.
Why don't they have Frank like, you know,uh, man, peacock should, I don't know.
It's kind of a double negative, butlike, oh man, I hope Peacock sucks.
And then Frank is like, tough crap.
Peacock.
I don't know.
Peacock, what do you got?
Punch.
Punch it up.

mike (57:35):
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Uh, what if, what if they're like,uh, they, they, they're like, Hey, uh.

Adam (57:44):
I guess we're, we're re we're realizing why it hasn't been
included in the peacock siz yet.
Well, I mean

Alex (57:49):
it, how about, it's like other o other streaming services are like
soft cocaine, but tough crack peacock.

mike (57:59):
What if they just clipped out Peacock.
Kept out Peacock.

Adam (58:03):
What if they just crap?
What if it's, I'd like to callon Peacock with the peacock.

mike (58:13):
What's your, Hey Frank, what's your favorite streaming service?
Peacock.
Peacock.

Alex (58:18):
But yeah, the episode's good.

mike (58:20):
Yes, the episode is good.
Yeah, that's the point.

Adam (58:23):
Uh, okay, so he brings the brazo over Frank.
Everyone's hesitant to try it.
Robert does it because he'sfilled with antibiotics from the
bull going on three episodes ofcontinuity that, Hey, I love it.
I love the art.
That wasn't even the only call out.
I know.
Yeah.
Uh, and we had Marie being like,this is good practice for Robert when

(58:44):
he becomes a police officer again.
Um, but Frank, a lot ofcandle stick murders.
Frank

mike (58:50):
can, good

Adam (58:51):
Frank tries the EO and makes this, um, what can only be
described as orgasmic moaning.
And, uh, he is, he fallsin love with it basically.
Um, I liked Robert's line, so Deborahcan now cook the missing color and the
Raymond Rainbow, and then Ray, likeputting his hands over his head, like, uh,

Alex (59:13):
Garvin, here's a question for you guys.
When he said the missing color inthe Raymond Rainbow, what color
did you imagine was just added?
Oh, that's interest.
I had a very specific color that justfor some reason popped into my head.

Adam (59:28):
I guess my first instinct is red.
I don't know if that's'cause of the literation.
'cause the color of the sauce.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, well I was just thinking RaymondRainbow Red, but Oh, Alex, what is this?
Uh uh, for

Alex (59:39):
me it just was green for some reason.
I don't know.
I don't have even like any logicalexplanation, but just I heard that and
just I saw in my head just a rainbow,get like a little greed stripe.

mike (59:51):
That's beautiful.
That's a great, wow.
That's a quick visualization too.
Wow.

Adam (59:55):
Yeah.
And Mike, you have dog vision, so you canonly see yellow and blue in a rainbow,

mike (59:59):
or, that's right.
I can only see yellow and blue, butit looks pretty anyway, so I like it.
That's nice.
And

Adam (01:00:05):
the shades of

mike (01:00:06):
gray.
Yeah.
Gray.

Adam (01:00:08):
Oh, gray

mike (01:00:11):
g ray.
That's, that's the one.
The gray, the the gray grain bone.
The gray grain bone.
Anyway, let's get backto the actual episodes.
So yes.
So yeah, basically they allstart obsessing over this, right?
And then Marie said they, Franksays to Marie, the line we talked
about earlier of Marie, youshould ask Debra how to make this.
And Marie, you could seemurder pass over her eyes.

Adam (01:00:31):
The audience, this audience is keyed up.
They popped off at this.
We got the big O. Um, and thenthere's some later scenes where they
have some very strong reactions.
Um, Marie tries the bra, Jo tossesthe fork down on the clue board.
Amazing.
Walks away, storms

mike (01:00:47):
out.
Amazing performance by DorisRoberts here, just like I loved it.

Alex (01:00:51):
E Ex everything what, what you needed to see because like, you
know, the joke is that it's good.
So the delivery has to be, mm-hmm.
Excellent.

Adam (01:01:00):
Yeah, it was awesome.
Um, Frank, this food has magical powers.
I should wear it around my neck.
Um, you know, vampire joke.
Loved it.
Okay.
Then we have Andy entering the kitchen.
Deborah offers him this eo,which he's making again.
Um, hey, when you find somethingthat works, you stick with it.
Um, can I just throw something

mike (01:01:21):
out here for a second?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How common is it for people's friends tounannounced walk into the room without
their, like, walk into the house?
No.
Knock a nok, knock of theirfriend, but the friend there,
no Knock Andy isn't there.
No, knock Andy friend's not there.
Wait, like, don't get me wrong.
Alex and I are very close.

(01:01:41):
I don't think I would ever walkinto his house without knocking.

Alex (01:01:44):
No.
I text Mike here and then I wait for himto open the door and come out to the car
and get me and walk me back to his home.

mike (01:01:50):
Yeah.
No, I have to escort him.
Well, which is fair.
'cause he will get lostif I don't do that.

Adam (01:01:55):
That's true.
I'm sorry.
I was under the impressionthat you two lived in the set.
You know, like the boy meets worldsetup where his backyard runs into your
backyard, there's some fence, Adam,that's DM and you give him advice.
We're getting there.

mike (01:02:11):
We, yeah.
No, we're not that, that there was,so when we were growing up, there
were two backyards in between.
But what we would do is, I do remember,I would look out the window and
Alex had a trampoline and he wouldbounce on the trampoline and we'd
yell at each other, Hey, come over.
And that would be, thatwould be how we hung out.

Adam (01:02:27):
Yeah.
I feel so bad for your neighbors.
Good times.
Yeah, I know.
You should be.
It was annoying.

mike (01:02:31):
Yeah, we were, we were bad neighbors.
We were terrible.
Um, oh, we had fun.
This was of course, before weall shared a, a dorm together.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is in the past.
Yeah.
We were

Adam (01:02:39):
kids.
Did you ever, Mike, it soundslike you were doing a lot
of looking out your window.
What,
what, yeah.
Which of your neighbor's windows was parallel, like
was visible from your window?
A and B?
Did you ever see them doinganything interesting in there?

mike (01:03:00):
I don't remember their last name, but I remember they, that
was neither of the questions.
They, I remember one ofthe kids was named Max.
And I remember looking at my window.
I remember that kid during a birthdayparty that I was not invited to, and

Alex (01:03:16):
that's very on brand.
I remember that birthday party.
That was fun.

mike (01:03:20):
Wait,

Adam (01:03:20):
this was last week

mike (01:03:21):
or?
Yeah, this was, no, no, no.
This was, this was a while ago, but Iremember, I remember looking out, the
window just happened to be watching,just hanging out, watching Wistfully,
imagining this, a fight broke outbetween the kid and his parents.
And it was very awkward and so awkwardthat I felt it from that window.

Adam (01:03:41):
Wait, this was in their window or was in the backyard and you could see?
No, it was

mike (01:03:45):
in their backyard.
And I was like looking out to seeif Alex was on the trampoline.
No, he was at the party, but,but um, you see this shit?

Alex (01:03:55):
Yeah, it's crazy.
We're talking to eachother, like over the party.

mike (01:03:59):
That's, that's typically how we would do it, but we did
do it that time and, uh, yeah.
It's so

Adam (01:04:03):
bad

Alex (01:04:04):
for your

mike (01:04:04):
neighbors.

Adam (01:04:05):
Yeah.
Would your neighbors, what kind ofactivities would they do in their
yards besides birthday parties thatyou would wistfully look out at?

mike (01:04:14):
So the adults were boring because the only time I ever saw the adults
outside was when they were like mowingthe lawn or doing lawn care and, which
is a waste tip of a yard if you ask me.
Uh, but there's,

Adam (01:04:24):
what do you mean

mike (01:04:26):
if the only thing that this, that the purpose of the yard is for is to
Oh, rake Is to rake and mow the lawn.
Then you're thought you're not using it.

Adam (01:04:34):
Right.
Thought you were, I thoughtyou were anti mowing.
Go on.

mike (01:04:36):
I am anti mowing because it kills the biodiversity of the,
of, of, uh, suburban populace.
But that's a different scope.
You, you are covered in

Adam (01:04:44):
butterflies right now?
Yes.
Got it.
Go on.
I keep

mike (01:04:48):
them.
In my chunky jeans.
Um,

Adam (01:04:53):
and you're trying to get enough to lift you off the ground
and you fly through the air, right?

mike (01:04:57):
Um, I feel like I must be getting close 'cause I can't
fit that many more in here.

Adam (01:05:02):
You got about 700 or Yeah, we're cl we're, we're approaching a thousand.

mike (01:05:06):
That's good.
Yeah, that's good.
Go on.
Oh, I just remember there on the otherside of my, uh, house, there was this,
there was another kid that was a littleyounger than me, but occasionally when
I was wistfully looking out my window,we would lock eyes and we'd yell at
each other, let's have a ball war.
And that would mean we'd run outside,grab a bunch of baseballs and footballs

(01:05:29):
and just throw 'em at each other.
It was a good time.
I

Alex (01:05:31):
remember that kid.
I took part in one of those.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was fun.
I was over one day.
How

Adam (01:05:36):
many casualties in the ball war?
Just one, uh, two windows.
Two Windows two.
All right, let's get back to the episode.
Okay.
Andy comes into the kitchen.
I, the purpose as we find out, is he'sdropping stats off for Ray Baseball
stats, but Debra offers him the bra.
He doesn't want to eat it.
'cause Debra's bad at cooking.

(01:05:56):
He claims he's in trainingfor a running thing.
And when Kosher, he'sin a Jewish marathon.
I thought that was funny.
That is funny.
Um, he tries, it goes nuts for it says,I don't know what Ray's talking about.
And then reveals that Ray wastrying to be funny at work.
Said that Ol was Italian for roadkill.
Always makes fun of Deborah's cooking.
Deborah's furious.

(01:06:16):
Ray comes home, Andy runs away.
Ray has the line.
Are you sleeping with Andybecause you could do better?
Uh, which is pretty funny.
And then because he finds outthat she has made Bjo again.
Sings a parody of, tell Me somethingGood called Deborah Made something good.
And what was funny about this wasthat it went on for very long, much

(01:06:41):
longer than I thought it was going to.
Um, tell me something good from, sorry.
Tell me something good from the 1974album, rags to Rufuss by Rufuss and
Chaka Khan, written by Stevie Wonder,uh, who probably didn't see this episode.
Oh, of course he didn't see it.

Alex (01:07:02):
Yeah.
You know, Adam, I'm glad I'll let youfinish because that was very important.
Yeah, go on.
I wanna say, uh, obviously Ray wasbeing a piece of shit, saying that
stuff, but also Andy Classic bad friend,

mike (01:07:19):
and Andy was a bad friend.
Andy not a good dude, dude.
What

Adam (01:07:22):
if, what if Andy was being a good friend to Deborah in that moment?
Clearly wasn't.
They have rapport.

mike (01:07:28):
He wasn't.
No, you, you can you keep yourmouth shut about all that?
I don't

Alex (01:07:32):
know.
Look in, in, in my opinion, I mean, thebiggest mistake Ray made was just like,
when, when you're with someone, youdon't, you never say anything about them
that you would not say to their face.
And in that sense, Frankis absolutely correct.
Yeah, I think so.
Um, I feel like anything you wouldsay about your significant other,

(01:07:55):
you could say directly to them, um.

Adam (01:07:59):
Yeah, I think, and I, I think if you have, uh, an issue at home, the way
to work it out is to communicate and,um, not, you know, badmouth them to
your friends so that you can, uh, gainacceptance among your men, men friends.

mike (01:08:18):
So obviously, obviously this is for idealized relatively good relationships.
This is, it's kind of hardto do in a very toxic one.
Oh, well, Ray is of course a coward.
Yeah.
I'm not implying that, um, thatRaymond has any excuse whatsoever.
I'm saying.
I I just mean to say that sometimes incertain relationship situations, some
communications can be, can be tough.

Adam (01:08:40):
How's your, you got your, what is your situation again?
It's complicated with

mike (01:08:45):
Michelle.
Yeah.
Um, she forged my signatureon the marriage document and
also the adoption document.
So, um, what's there to explain?
She's his

Adam (01:08:56):
mommy wife owner.
Just to be clear, it was apet adoption document, right?
It wasn't a human one.

mike (01:09:03):
I would hope so.
'cause otherwise she just thinksmy signature is a paw print,

Adam (01:09:09):
which to be fair, pretty close.
It is pretty close.
Because you got when that dogmurdered all those people.

mike (01:09:18):
Yeah, I got booked for it.
Got booked for it.
You actually

Adam (01:09:20):
stood trial, right?
But you were acquitted?

mike (01:09:22):
Yeah, that's why I had to change my name from Mike Bow.
Wow.

Adam (01:09:27):
That was the second time you were a bee.
'cause I think it wasBucatini at some point.
It was what?
You don't remember whenyou, you were no Italian?

Alex (01:09:41):
I don't remember that either.
To be fair.

Adam (01:09:42):
You used to be, I found some old photographs of you from like the
war and, uh, it said Mike Braul on it.
Was that your name at one point?
Would you Uh, it, they all start.

mike (01:09:54):
I, I I was stuck on b for a while here.

Adam (01:09:57):
Your name, because I saw in those photographs, you, you used
to like work for Mussolini, right?

mike (01:10:05):
He, he was a good guy.
He had the trains on time.

Adam (01:10:07):
Yeah, you were, you were on trains.
I was,

mike (01:10:09):
I was the train conductor.
Anyway,

Adam (01:10:13):
anyway, um, the, so by the way, this, this scene made the
Wikipedia page for Tell Me Something.
Good.
Ray Romano's character sings a variationof the song while eating his wife's braul
in, uh, the, everybody loves Ray Roman.
That's four episode eight.
That's actually funny.

mike (01:10:29):
Uh, yes it is.
I will, I will say that I loved, uh, Iloved Deborah's way of cutting him off
too by just pouring the sauce on him.
Yeah, that got a big applausebreak, and I think it deserved it.
I thought that was very, very funny.

Adam (01:10:41):
Right on the dick,

mike (01:10:43):
right on the dick.

Adam (01:10:44):
Now can I point out a, um, IMDB for you?
Um, about that?
Yeah.
Leading into the next scene, of course.
Um, but under goofs, somebody says Deborahgets angry and pours sauce into Ray's
lap, leaves the kitchen, Marie comes over.
Ray reenters the room, stillwith sauce stains on his pants.
However, when Marie makes Ray takehis pants off to wash them, his boxer

(01:11:08):
shorts underneath are completely clean.
Yes, the tomato sauce should,should, should have soaked
through and stained them as well.
Apparently when Raymond went off stage,he changed into clean boxer shorts.
10 helpful.
Four unhelpful.
If I was logged into IMDB it wouldbe five because we do not know

(01:11:29):
what pants Ray is working with.
Mike.
He's wearing

mike (01:11:32):
Lee's chunkies.
You

Adam (01:11:33):
can, you can attest.
Mm-hmm.
Nothing.
And I mean, nothing getsthrough Lee's Chunkies.
Nothing does.
Nothing.
Right?
Because you got shotright over the weekend.

mike (01:11:48):
The bullets bounced right off.
I'm attributing it to the butterfliesin the pants, but, uh, it could
just be And how many of themdid you lose in this incident?
I only lost about

Adam (01:11:55):
20.
They're good.

mike (01:11:56):
They're

Adam (01:11:56):
good butterflies.
That's, they're resilient.
Um, so I, I think, whatdo you think about that?
I should, should raise box?
Oh no, the person's completely right.
The person's is

mike (01:12:09):
completely right.
Yeah, no, like the, like thethick sauce goes through the pan.
I don't think that they're madeto be sauce repellent pants,
so I don't think Yeah, no,

Adam (01:12:17):
no.
I don't know.
I mean, you get some pants witha, a thick coating, so, okay.
Kills the song, poursauce all over his dick.
Um, she confronts him for making funof her at work and the audience feels
very sorry for Ray when he stands upand he's got sauce all over his pants.

(01:12:38):
There were a few peoplein the mix going Aw.
Which I don't think is justified.
I mean, I don't feel badfor Ray in this scene.
He's badmouthing Deborah and,you know, talking shit about her.
I think a little sauce tothe crotch is perfectly fair.

mike (01:12:57):
No Debra's entirely in the right this entire episode.
Yeah, I think that, I

Adam (01:13:00):
don't think any of of us would disagree with that.
Yeah, the audience gets won.
Uh, won over though later whenRay takes these pants off.
Oh, I mean, this audienceis horny for Raymond.

mike (01:13:14):
They're whooping and yelling and cat calling and holler and it's crazy.

Adam (01:13:18):
He's wearing those revealing knee length boxer shorts.
Mm-hmm.
And they cannot handle it.
And you can see

Alex (01:13:25):
everything through those imprints.

mike (01:13:28):
So, but no sauce.
I, so here's, here'swhat bothered me though.
Okay.
So first of all, at this point,Frank comes over bringing flowers.
Great bit.
Frank is just in love withDeborah because of her, her beil
love woke up thinking about it.
I loved this bit.
Here's what upset.
Very good bit.
Raymond leaves the room because hegot sauce all over himself, right?

(01:13:48):
So, or Deborah got sauce on him.
He leaves the room pants in a way.
He got sauce all over himself, right?
Karmically, I mean, pants dripping withsauce, dripping with the sauce all over.
Little bit on his shirt,not a ton on his shirt.
He leaves the room, comes back, he'swearing a different shirt, same pants.
What the hell?
So he takes

Adam (01:14:06):
the shirt off first before he takes the pants off.
Even though the pants are, and thisis, I think your point, even though
the pants are in a much more diresituation, correct, Ray is So it
must just be like automatic forhim that shirt off, then pants off.
Because in a normal situation,I don't think most people

(01:14:29):
take the pants off first.
I don't know.
Unless they're gonna wear the same shirt.
Mm-hmm.
Intentionally.

Alex (01:14:36):
Maybe.
Maybe.
Sure.
I don't really thinkabout it like that though.

Adam (01:14:39):
How do you think about it Alex?

Alex (01:14:41):
I mean like I feel like I take my pants off first

Adam (01:14:46):
and then you take your shirt off.

Alex (01:14:48):
Yeah.
But I think that's just'cause pants are tight.
Yeah, no,

mike (01:14:51):
he fully poo bears it as soon as he gets home to the dorm.
Little red shirt

Alex (01:14:55):
that goes down to my belly button.
Nothing on else.
I got a bucket full of honey.
Oh, father,

mike (01:15:05):
save that for the asthma reel.

Adam (01:15:10):
Uh, yeah.
Alex doing poo bear A SMR for five hours?
We would, that would,honestly, that would do

mike (01:15:17):
numbers.

Adam (01:15:18):
That would do so much better than the baroni.
So.
So Frank says, anyone who can make braJo like that deserves a whole hillside of
heavenly scented marigolds and daffodils.
Amazing line.
Um, Frank being very kind to her, shereveals that the secret to the her bril
is she uses currents instead of raisins.

(01:15:39):
And because I'm still not fully, uh,appraised of what Brizo is, uh, I am
not sure where the fruits are cominginto it, but it sounds exciting.
I don't know.

Alex (01:15:50):
Yeah, I, I was picturing something else, but yeah, a
little bit of like occurrence.
Little bit of sweet there.
That's weird.

Adam (01:15:55):
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Marie enters the room, ominously Frank.
He thought she was taking a bath.
It's very tense.
Uh, and then she revealsthat Frank drew her the bath.
I love this move from Frank.
He's so obsessed with this braulthat he draws his wife a bath for
the first time in decades so he cansneak out of the house and go and get
some bra, visit his daughter-in-law.

(01:16:20):
Marie says to Deborah, what have I donethat you feel the need to destroy me?
An iconic Marie line, for sure.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, reveals that the brailwas the first thing she ever
cooked for Frank back in 1955.
He tasted it and said, be my bride.
But now she accuses him ofgoing to any girl with a pot

Alex (01:16:37):
I call bullshit

Adam (01:16:38):
on

Alex (01:16:39):
this.
Marie would've actedthis way no matter what.
Deborah cooked if it was good.
Yeah,

Adam (01:16:45):
I don't know.
Uh, probably, probably.
But I bet it stung.
It seems to have stung extra with the um.
The bridge.

Alex (01:16:56):
Sure.

Adam (01:16:56):
Did.
We, we already sawMarie's meatballs, right?
Where she teaches Debra how to makemeatballs and then sabotages her by
giving her the wrong spice, I believe.
Did, yes.
Yeah.
So I mean, that just, that isdefinitely evidence for what you're
saying, Alex, that she does notwant Deborah to cook because then,
you know, that's something that shedoesn't do for Raymond place to eat
food.
Yep.

(01:17:17):
Um, so definitely I think, uh, goofFrank claims he's 64, however, he
turned 20, uh, he turned 25, heturned 65 in season two, episode nine.
The gift, that's an IMDB eight helpful.
Two unhelpful.
I don't know who would find that.
Unhelpful.
I guess that's very helpful.
People who are just fansof discontinuity, but

mike (01:17:39):
yeah, I, I will say that I, I also, when he, he said 64, I
was like, that doesn't seem right.

Adam (01:17:45):
Well, people looked older back then, too.
That's true.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Famously, uh, what's his face?
Uh, Wilford Brimley was like 40when he looked like that, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
And Mike, how old are you again?
Old

Alex (01:17:58):
enough.

Adam (01:17:59):
Hm.

Alex (01:18:00):
Nice.
Damn right.
He is.
He wanted to suck my dick earlier.
I know.
You better be old enough.

Adam (01:18:10):
Marie claims she doesn't cook anymore.
Classic Marie Overreaction.
It's on par with, well, whydon't I just kill myself?
Um, Deborah demands to know of Roberthow much Ray makes fun of her cooking.
Uh, and Robert Dodges thequestion, but the Marie Gleefully.
Leans in and says all the time,he makes fun of it all the time.

(01:18:30):
Yeah, Ray, that's not true.
That's not completely true.
Deborah, I love your bra and I am notlying Today is, that's like Ray in
the nutshell, that line is like, heknows what he's not supposed to be
doing, but he just can't own up to it.
It's very Ray.

mike (01:18:50):
I I don't have a lot to chime in on during the scene besides,
like, chef's kiss, the, the ensemblecomedy work here is phenomenal.
Yeah.
The writing is phenomenal.
Ray's delivery of that line is so good.
The way that he says it, like he caughthimself mid-sentence saying, I gotta throw
today on the end is so, so freaking great.

(01:19:11):
I, I, this is, this is a great scene.
Absolutely.
It's really

Adam (01:19:14):
good.
That's like the best, this scene isthe best part of the episode for sure.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
Ray says wife jokes.
That's all.
It's something you dowhen you're with the guys.
Frank.
I never, first of all, if Ihave something to say to your
mother, I say it to her face.
Second of all, those are not jokes.
Um, which is a good, that's agood frank burn I feel like.

(01:19:35):
I mean, he delivered it.
Well, it's a good one.
Agains, and

Alex (01:19:39):
this is what I was talking about earlier where I do think he is right in
a sense here where it's, you shouldn'tkeep anything from your significant other.
If you say something about them, youshould be able to say it to their face.
I do not think you should sit, talkabout your loved ones as Frank does,
but I do think you should be ableto say whatever you would normally

(01:20:01):
say about them to their face.

Adam (01:20:03):
I think so, and I think, I think we're meant to take away from
Frank's roasts that, um, speakingof eo, I don't actually know if it's
roasted or not, but Frank's roast we'resupposed to take away that it's like
a thing that they do that like they,you know, this is banter for them.

(01:20:24):
Um, I don't know how convincinglythat's sold every time.
We do know that they stillfuck three times a week.
So clearly there's some,so they like each other.
They got something going on.
There's

Alex (01:20:35):
some passion there.

Adam (01:20:37):
Robert says, I've often found that men use the wife joke to form bonds and
share common experiences as he, this istrue and profound as he sits in the sauce.
Um.
Did I just sit in sauce?
I was afraid I popped a stitch.

mike (01:20:51):
Also a great line.
Yeah.
Very funny that

Adam (01:20:54):
Marie makes him take off his pants too.
Yeah.
Um, I would've loved a thirdbeat of that joke with we do
with Frank taking his pants off.
But I think, I don't know, I wasn'tcrazy about the way that they
did the third beat, but I dunno.

mike (01:21:09):
Of Raymond trying to get on.
Yeah.

Adam (01:21:11):
Yeah.
How about you take or youwanna take your pants off?
Um, so in this Deante, aftereveryone leaves, they kick him out.
Um, de asks, hi, Debra asks Ray whyhe has to make wife, wife jokes.
And he says he turns it, of course, asRaymond does, turns it back on her that,

(01:21:31):
uh, she makes fun of him to Amy and Linda.
But in fact she saysshe does the opposite.
Linda thinks you have a master's.
Degree, degree, master's degree.
Um, that was funny.
He says, that's who I am.
I make fun of my wife.
I make fun of the wife a little.
That's his, his way toget, uh, men to like him.

(01:21:53):
Um, and then in a kind of,yeah, he lets his guard.
He really wants the men to like

Alex (01:21:57):
him.

Adam (01:21:57):
He really does.
He lets his guard down a little bit,says he uses wife jokes to justify
why Deborah, who is the good one, who,you know, clearly settled for him.
Why she likes him, or why she'swith him because she has flaws.
Like not being able to cook.
I don't know if I agree with that.
Oh no, I don't.

mike (01:22:18):
It's entire, it's entire bullshit.
Yeah.

Adam (01:22:19):
Uh, but it makes sense as a rationale for Ray's character because
of how insecure we know he is.
So.
Uh, it's just, yeah, that's notgonna help him on the barometer,
I can tell you that much.
But it does make sense.
Deborah doesn't care what theother guys think about their
relationship or about her.
She cares what Ray thinks.
Ray agrees to stop making the jokes.

(01:22:42):
Uh, and then we get the sort of,they resolve this and he says,
you wanna take your pants off?
And, uh, presumably they go,fuck, they have good old sex.
Which is like,

mike (01:22:54):
it's, it's weird that it ended like that, like that kind of ended

Adam (01:22:58):
with a fizzle, didn't it?
Yeah.

Alex (01:22:59):
Yeah.
I, it, I have to tough to land this plane.
I had to say, I have to say, I, I sofelt like she was like, oh, you promised,
like, I was so sure Ray was gonna endon a joke, and I'm so happy he didn't.

Adam (01:23:12):
Yeah.
It seemed like we got a, a sincerepromise to give it an air of

Alex (01:23:15):
like sincerity to it.
Yeah.
That I

Adam (01:23:18):
really

Alex (01:23:18):
liked.

Adam (01:23:19):
I think it was, is just maybe too sharp a transition from Sure.
The yelling about, youknow, that's who I am.
I make fun of the wife alittle to the sincerity.
Like, I feel like thereneeded to be like a, mm-hmm.
I dunno.
But, uh, that's a fair critique.
Yeah.
It was good though.
I think for this week we know that Raywill stop making jokes about Deborah.

(01:23:44):
Yeah.
Hot clothes though.
Marie and Frank's kitchen, thisis clearly a different day.
Marie sitting at the table sipping tea,very passive aggressively by herself.
Uh, Frank comes back, says, uh,you didn't, did you make dinner?
And she says, I didtea, um, tea for dinner.

(01:24:05):
Can you imagine?
I mean, what is this?
England?

mike (01:24:10):
Uh, ha ha ha.
What?
Yeah,

Adam (01:24:13):
that was good.
She says, what did Deborah make?
And Frank says, very defeated.
Lasagna.
It's over.
It's over.
It's over.
Then they have this like veryromantic, like I'm romantic as in
like passionate, uh, bearing ofthe soul where Frank is like, I

(01:24:34):
learned a man needs more than Bra Jo.
He needs chicken, veal,eggplant, a Parmesan.
It didn't seem like they were puttinga little extra Italian on these,
a little bit eggplant Parmesan.

mike (01:24:49):
No, I felt like this was like a, uh, like I, I almost got like a goodfellas
kind of vibe to, it was like kind of

Adam (01:24:55):
sopranos, like, it was like, yeah, that's what

mike (01:24:58):
I'm going for.
Yeah.

Adam (01:24:59):
It was a little heightened.
Um, when they don't normally, especiallyFrank, I feel like, doesn't normally have
like any kind of Italian American accent.
Um, but then, uh, Maria's likemanicotti, which of course in the
Italian American accent, uh, is man got.
Um, and then he's like, oh yeah, baby.

(01:25:21):
And then they, they fuck, Iassume they have good old sex
for the third time that week.
Yeah.
Yeah.

mike (01:25:26):
Oh, this was, this was a phenomenal button.
Yeah.
I thought this was a greatbutton on the, on the episode.
Uh, kept the return to status quo.
Sure.
But acknowledged everything.
It wrapped up that frankarc in a natural way.
I was, I was here for it.

Alex (01:25:42):
Absolutely.

Adam (01:25:43):
I think everyone kind of got their emotional arc wrapped up.
I, uh, except Robert, we, wewill never know, um, about
pants, I guess About his pants.
Yeah.
We won't know.
Hopefully they get jeans now.
Robert was wearing, hold on.
Robert was wearing jeans.
He was, so do you think his boxer shortswere covered in sauce or should have been?

(01:26:06):
'cause a gene, actually, as you wellknow, Mike, a gene is a durable material

mike (01:26:10):
repellent.
I think that his pa hisboxers would've been fine.
His stitching actually, no, his stitchingprobably would've been fine too.

Adam (01:26:18):
Let's pivot, barometer, uh, Alex, where is Ray coming in for you
as a husband, son, brother, father,um, diner and a comedian, I guess.
Uh, I guess he was kind of funny.

Alex (01:26:35):
Um, look, I think realistically.
Ray again, I, I'd say he onlymade one mistake this episode that
then compounded into him makinga million other smaller mistakes.
Again, it's hard to judge himon stuff like this because

(01:26:55):
stuff like this keeps happening.
And yet at the end of each episode I'mlike, well, he is learned his lesson now.
Um, and I gotta stop kindof thinking like that.
Um, obviously the big thing is that heinsults his wife's cooking and like, it,
it, it, I think the insult the injuryis like, it's not even like he insulted
her cooking because he doesn't like it.

(01:27:17):
It's just like he insulted hiscooking because he is like,
making fun of your wife is cool.
And even though she literallycould not have done a better job at
being an amazing, uh, uh, spouse,dude still just wrecked into her.
Um, just 'cause he caved to peer pressure.
Uh, and he got caught and oh boy.

(01:27:39):
Yeah.
Bad job.
But I liked him showingoff Deborah's food.
Even though, again, I think itwas because a, not like, Hey,
look at how great my wife is.
More like, Hey, she did somethingright for once type of attitude.
Yeah.
The more I talk about it, the more I justwant to give him like a three and a half.

Adam (01:27:57):
I think that's fair.
Yeah.

mike (01:27:59):
Mike, I'm gonna give him a three.
I I won't bury the lead on this one.
He, uh, I think that, don't get mewrong, he appreciated his wife's cooking.
He, when he was home, when he was home,he, uh, he said all the right things.
He made her feel good.
But also, man, I don't know.
I feel like, look, life jokes arenever okay, but especially to like,

(01:28:21):
you finally have something good.
You have a as shitty a friend asAndy, and you're gonna talk shit
about your wife's good cooking.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I, I don't know.
I feel like there would, there was anice easy opportunity for him to be
like, Hey, Debra did something good.
She cooks something good.
The bridge is great.
I think that that would've been better.
Um, also the line about the bridgebeing roadkill, not even that funny.

(01:28:45):
Five outta 10 funny.
Yeah, five outta 10.
Funny.
Like, it's not bad.
It's, it's structurally sound,but it's just not cliche though.
It's, it's not original.
I'm going three.
I think that he, uh, he alsojust, he tries to get out of it.
I respect the attempt,but yeah, I'm not, uh.
Three might be too harsh, but fuck it.
I'm sticking with it.

Adam (01:29:05):
I'm actually going to go lower than that.
I'm gonna give him a 2.5.
I find it difficult to identify anythingredeeming about Ray in this episode.
Mm-hmm.
He receives his wife's cooking, hetakes it over to his parents' house
to gloat or to remark on the wonderof, wow, Deborah did something good.

(01:29:28):
Um, and then goes andgives his opposite opinion.
The bra is good.
He says it's roadkill at work to gainthe sort of, you know, dysfunctional
respect of his male colleagues,um, by shitting on his wife.

(01:29:49):
Um, then comes home, uh, iscaught for doing this and.
Does not until the very, veryend even admit that he does this.
Take responsibility or commit to change.
Only after upsetting everyone in hisfamily, making his brother sit in sauce.

(01:30:11):
Not just sauce, but used sauce.
Sauce that has alreadybeen in someone's ass.

Alex (01:30:17):
Mm-hmm.
Well, on someone's dick.

Adam (01:30:19):
Yeah.
And you know, actually I guess the onlygood thing he did was give Frank A.
Little, like a little boost.
So that's where the 2.5 is coming from,is him giving Frank, you know, something
to get excited about for the day.
Um, but everyone else, hereally does not do well.

(01:30:41):
Four.
He fucks pretty much everyone over insome way and commits to change, but I
don't think he's really gonna change.
So I, I cannot give him more than 2.5.
Mike, 2.5, 3.5 and three.

mike (01:30:55):
France this out to an average of three for this episode of everybody lives.
Raymond.

Adam (01:31:00):
Got it.
Well that's another one in the books.
You know, Ray has actuallybeen doing pretty well recently
and yeah, it's about time we

mike (01:31:07):
had a tanky one.

Adam (01:31:08):
He completely tanked.
Totally fucked.
He completely tanked.
But that's it for this week.
We'll be talking about seasonfour, episode 19, next time,
whatever that's called.
Before we say goodbye.
Is there any,
Hmm,
Mike, I know you've been doing a lot of like, soul searching and Yeah.
Alex, I know you've also beenon a bit of a spiritual journey,

(01:31:31):
um, just in the past week or so.
So I don't know, do either of youhave anything, uh, inspirational that
you wanna share with the listeners?
And guys, what we'll do is,you know, what kind of a be it?
And then I, I'll use the one thatyou know, kind of, we'll see which

(01:31:51):
tests better, and I'll use that one.
I'll cut out the other one anddelete it and throw it away.
Does that make sense?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, absolutely.
Of course.
Okay.
So Alex, is there anything that you wouldlike to share with the listener this week?

Alex (01:32:03):
Yeah, of course.
Um, you know, uh, upon this, uh, weekof reflecting and just, uh, kind of
engaging, I, I've been looking to those,uh, who, uh, are, uh, marginalized in
our society, uh, who, who are reallytreated poorly, uh, people in the LGBT

(01:32:24):
community, the, um, uh, minorities, um,people who are, uh, less like, like, like
who struggle with, uh, discrimination.
And, um, I just want to say that I amwith you all the way, and if this message
is not out there, it means that my, uh,upper management, uh, disagrees with me.

Adam (01:32:50):
That's good.
That's great, Alex.
Okay, good.
We got that clean.
Um, I wasn't actually listening.
Well, should I repeat myself?
No, no, no, no.
I'll just, I'll send youthis transcript right now.
I'll just listen back.
I'll just listen back.
Okay.
Okay, Mike, we'll do yours now.
Um, and we'll just leave a little bit ofroom tone so we can get it clean, Mike?

(01:33:14):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
What do you have that you'd like toshare with the listeners this week?

mike (01:33:19):
Well, I'd like to acknowledge, actually something that I think, uh,
we don't get enough acknowledgementabout, and that's white men.
I would love to talk specifically aboutwhite men, something created by white
men, for white men, and for everybody.

Adam (01:33:39):
Mike, I'm gonna stop you.
Just because look, Iknow our listenership.
I know they're white losers like us.
Yeah,

mike (01:33:54):
of course.

Adam (01:33:55):
I am worried that what you are about to say violates
the content policy of Oh, okay.
Most major podcast platforms.
Oh,

Alex (01:34:04):
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Let's rephrase this.
Okay.

Adam (01:34:10):
Okay.
Just, just I know you'vegot a bunch in the tank.
Right, right, right.
Recalibrate.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I'm glad that that's your spiritualjourney that you've been on this week.
Is thinking about white

mike (01:34:20):
then don't get enough attention.
I mean okay.
But I understand.
I understand.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So I just, so fine.
If people who listento Third Eye Blind and,
and wear sunscreen, you know,
well
that group of people, um, if they.

(01:34:43):
Need some inspiration.
I suggest they startlistening to the Barona Sonus.
'cause that's worked for me.
It's worked for me as you know, I, I,I am one that I think is, uh, is great.
The Baroni Sonus, of course,is, uh, this, I'm sorry.
Great service.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.

Adam (01:34:57):
Uh, and I'll You are one that you think is great.
What does that mean?

mike (01:35:03):
Yeah, correct.
Uh, okay.
I, what, what I mean is I,I, this has worked for me.
I think this service is great.
It's called the Baroni Zones.
It's, you pay one time,you pay anything you want.
And, uh, you get lifetime accessto, uh, some great new podcasts.
One new episode of, uh, with theBarone Boys every single month.
And, uh, yeah, it's,it's, it's phenomenal.

(01:35:24):
We have some great, uh, content outthere playing scruples play, uh,
reviewing King of Queens, the nanny.
Uh, I highly encourage everybodyto, uh, to join it, especially
if you get particularly excitedwhen Mr. Brett, I plays it away.

Adam (01:35:39):
At a wedding.
At a wedding, yeah.
I've seen clips of them, butthen it's very unpleasant.
Okay.
So you know, with some editing, Alex, Ithink Mike's is really gonna play this
week and I will cut out the stuff about

Alex (01:35:58):
white people.
I'm gonna take this as a win 'cause youhad to stop and think about it for a sec.

Adam (01:36:05):
This is, and I know that, you know, it's been a while
since we've used one of yours.
I haven't exactly been tracking it,but I, I feel like Mike's gotten
the last couple maybe, but just thistime, I think with some editing.
Mike's is probably gonna play better.

(01:36:25):
I think we, I think I'll just use Mike'sand delete yours and throw it away.
I understand.
And again, I didn't hear it so Idon't know what the context was.
I was looking at the ground, therewas something on the ground and I
didn't hear what you were saying.
So no judgment on the content,just I know that Mike's with
some editing would be killer.

mike (01:36:46):
And you know what?
I think the population of people thatthink General SOS chicken is just too
spicy is gonna really appreciate Adam.
There are plenty of people, people in our

Alex (01:36:53):
society who just didn't hear what I said, you know?
Well, no one's gonna hear expectingto be someone who didn't hear it.

Adam (01:37:00):
Alex, no one's going to hear any of this because I'm gonna cut
it all out except for Mike's greatinspirational message edited.
So that's great, Mike.
I think that's really gonna helpour listeners in their busy weeks.
Join us next time for the nextepisode of The Barone Zone.

(01:37:21):
And I think there's only one last thingto say, which is our classic sign off.
Everybody

Alex (01:37:27):
loves Raymond and we love

Adam (01:37:32):
you.