Sweat is Sin / 4.8 Debra's Workout

In an episode inspired by Season 4, Episode 8 of Everybody Loves Raymond, “Debra’s Workout,” Mike believes his good grades are somehow the work of Lynbrook University’s resident aerobics instructor, Nick Bronson.

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Episode Transcript

Mike (00:01):
Good morning students and faculty of Lynbrook University.
As you know, I, each week, you'rerequired to watch an episode
of Everybody Loves Raymond.
This week's episode is season four,episode eight, uh, Debra's Workout.
It's the one where Debra'sbeen, uh, very, uh, amorous with

(00:21):
Ray, and Ray doesn't know why.
He, he later learns that herdesire occurs after her workout.
So he goes to the gym andtries to see the guy and joins
the class and then wrecks it.
It's a great one.
You should really check it out.
Yeah, we, we recommend watching thatshow as soon as possible so you can
prepare for what you are about to see.
Uh, and you know, justan ongoing reminder.

(00:43):
If, uh, you guys could just avoid thescience hallway until the HVAC team
comes in and clears out the creation,that would be really appreciated.

Adam (00:54):
The HVAC team?
Not the hazmat team?

Alex (01:24):
Alright, students.
Before we dismiss you for the endof the day, I'd like to return
to you your exams from last week.
Uh, most of you, pretty,pretty shit job, honestly.
I expect at least 65s.
Most of these are 64s.

(01:45):
Oh, that's Uh Professor?

Adam (01:48):
Professor.

Alex (01:48):
Couple people did

Adam (01:50):
a what?
How many questions were there?
Because, depending on the number ofquestions, we can't possibly have,
have gotten 65s just from division.
I know this is a math class.
I figured, you know, you would haveworked, if that was your target,
you would have worked it out sothat we, we would all get it.
65 if we got x numberof qu I'm just saying.

(02:12):
Dammit

Alex (02:12):
Keith, there are a hundred questions.
Shit, I missed You need to get 65 right.
You better give me

Adam (02:21):
back my test because I think I only did the first page, professor.
I'm so sorry.
I thought there were only13 questions, my bad.

Alex (02:28):
Damn, well, somehow you got a 75, so that's actually pretty
Well, still, goddammit Keith.
Regardless, all right, let mejust, uh, yeah, there you go.
Trash, trash, trash, trash.
Sorry, question,

Adam (02:43):
professor.
How are we supposed to know whatwe individually got other than me?
Of course, if you're puttingthe failing tests in the trash
instead of handing them to us.

Alex (02:53):
Oh no, this is my lunch.
Trash.
Trash.
I'm throwing I'm throwing out, uh,my extra skittles one at a time.

Mike (03:02):
Doc, I'd really

Adam (03:03):
like to know my score.
Professor, professor, can you not usethe stack of tests to sort of make a
little slide for the skittles to go down?
I'm just worried, you know, theHVAC Team has not been attending
to, to this building so much withwhat's going on in the science hall.
So I was just, you know, with the heatand everything, whoever's on top of

(03:23):
the stack, you know, they're going tohave to taste the rainbow if they want
to find out what they got on the test.
It's going to be streaks.
And that's one week detention.
Oh, come on, man.

Alex (03:32):
All right, here we go.
All right.
Here's what yours back is.
Yours is yours.
Uh, Mike.
Yeah!
Pretty, uh, pretty good job, sport.
Keep up the good work.
I, holy shit!
Uh, let's see.
You did okay, you did okay.

Adam (03:51):
Aw, damn, I got the Skittles one.
At least this is better than the timeyou, you had all those Hershey kisses.
What'd you get, Zach?
I got an 84.
That's I missed 26 questions.

Mike (04:05):
That's pretty fucking good, actually.
Give

Adam (04:07):
it It's okay, my You know I'm here on a genius scholarship,
so this is gonna be wreck my 4 0.
I got

Mike (04:15):
a I got a 100.
I got a perfect score.
I got all of them right.

Adam (04:19):
What?
You got a hundred?
I mean, sorry, you got a hundred?

Mike (04:23):
Yeah.

Adam (04:24):
I don't want to insult you with my emphasis there, but

Mike (04:27):
You you you already did, so, you know, the damage is kind of done
already, but I Still, I Holy shit!
I didn't study for this at all!

Adam (04:36):
And didn't you get a 15 on the last test?
I did get a 15

Alex (04:41):
on the last test, yeah.
Alright, so, enough with the peanutgallery talk, uh, We'll meet up in two
days for our next class, where we willdiscuss the Pythagorean Theorem, because
apparently, A lot of you still don'tunderstand that 10th grade thingam.
Uh, oh, and Mike, uh, stay with me foran extra minute after everyone leaves.

Mike (05:01):
I mean, okay.

Adam (05:02):
Okay.
Hey Mike, you wanna quick lick ofthe skittles before I, you wanna
lick the skit before I, uh, hop?
I don't, I don't.
Go on.
Man, nobody licks the skit like you, Mike.
You're, you're a cool guy.
Alright.

Mike (05:18):
They call me the skit master.

Alex (05:20):
Damn, do girls know you lick skit that well?

Mike (05:23):
Doc, I really don't think that's an appropriate question for you to ask me.

Adam (05:29):
Believe me, Doc, it doesn't transfer.
Get the fuck out of here.

Mike (05:34):
Zach, I don't know you like that.

Adam (05:37):
I just know what I've heard.
Look, I gotta go.
I gotta get to my next class.

Mike (05:41):
Doc, I know what you're thinking.
He hasn't heard anything.
I've never slept with a woman.
What's your question?

Alex (05:48):
Uh, Mike, I know.
Uh, my question, well, what I wanted tosay is, well, I wanted to congratulate
you in private because, uh, you're the,not only are you the only person to, uh,
get a 100 on this test, uh, in this class,you're the only person to ever do it.
Uh, I make this test intentionallyvery difficult and I'm, I'm
impressed with your skill.

Mike (06:09):
I see that you put it as the D's all the way down, which
that, that was, that was the.
It's a tricky, tricky method there, sir.

Alex (06:17):
Uh, well, regardless, uh, you know, I, I think you did great.
I just want you to keep up the good work.
Uh, plenty of kids in there, in thisroom, who definitely need more help.
If, uh, if, you know, you could helpout, uh, some other kids if they
have any questions, that'd be great.
You

Mike (06:32):
want me to,

Alex (06:32):
you want me to help them?

Mike (06:34):
I've always been the kid to like, you know, get, get the help.
I've never, never been asked to tutorbefore, this is, this is an honor.

Alex (06:41):
Hey, unless you just filled in a bunch of D's randomly,
which I don't think you did.
No.
You got it.
Ah, shit, I'm late.
Uh, hey, I gotta run.
I will, uh, see you in class on Wednesday.
Good job, sport.
Go celebrate.
Yeah, I will, I will, I will.
As the professor runs out the door,Um, who we did not give a name,

(07:04):
Uh, a pamphlet falls from his bag.

Mike (07:08):
Oh, hey, hey, doc, you, uh, you dropped this.
The hell's this?
Huh.
Mike looks at the, uh, at the pamphlet.
We get an over the shoulder lookof a dramatic camera going up his
hair over Zooms in on the pamphlet.
It's a, uh, it's a pamphlet with a very,very, very muscular man, shredded to

(07:30):
all holy hell, clearly oiled up, uh,and, and on a, on a pump and everything.
And Mike's like, wow,this guy's good looking.
Nick Bronson?
He's got an aerobics class here?

Adam (07:45):
The camera continues to zoom into Nick Bronson's brochure until
it becomes three dimensional and wepass through the brochure into Nick
Bronson's, uh, aerobic studio at the gym.

Alex (08:01):
That's a really good

Mike (08:01):
transition.
Thank you.
But specifically, we transitionFrom the paper abs to the
actual abs and then zoom out.

Adam (08:10):
What?
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We zoom all the way in and it staysreally blurry and, and matte and kind of
like crinkly and then it fades into his.
Washboard abs, and zooms out from thereinto the aerobic studio where he's leading
a class, uh, that includes Adam and Alex.

(08:32):
Come on, work it folks, aroundthe world, let's go, come on!
Get up there!
Get up!
Shit.
Alex, this is going a lot I shouldnot have worn all this suede.
This is fucking crazy.
I didn't think it was gonna bethis Hey Adam, no suede, no gain.

(08:52):
I do wash my suede jacket in gain, so.
That resonates with me.
Clever bitch.
They really gotta fix the airconditioning in this fucking

Alex (09:01):
gym though.
It's so hot.
I know, it's so Oh, I was definitelygonna say hot, it's not cold.

Adam (09:08):
I am so still so suspicious about whether or not you are
cold blooded Alex, but shit we'redoing these Stairsteps that's

Alex (09:17):
always been a thing with me.
I like going up, but my favoritepart is going back down.
That's right.
It's You know gravity,you know, I'm alright

Adam (09:26):
sides to sides

Alex (09:28):
Lout first!
Ow!
Oh,

Adam (09:29):
fuck.
Oh, sorry, man.
Sorry.
God.
Ow!
This class is so popular,there's no room to make mistakes!

Alex (09:37):
Yeah, if there's one more person in here, I feel that
we're gonna have too many people.
Door

Adam (09:42):
bursts open from the back.

Alex (09:44):
Hey, everybody!

Adam (09:45):
Hey, hey, come on in, come on.
We're like 15 minutesinto the class already.
Come on, we gotta keep moving.
Get that heart rate up andhop right in, professor.
Good to see you again.

Alex (09:54):
The professor rips off his tear away pants.
He forgot to put on shorts,but he's just gotta pretend he
meant to, he meant to do that.
He's just going for it.
Luckily Still got the jacket on top.

Adam (10:08):
Yeah, just tearaway pants, not He is wearing a full classic
professor sweater vest with the suitand patches on the elbows over it.
Absolute elbow patches, I was gonna say.
Tweed.
Um.
And glasses, and thick white beard,and now we're all picturing the man.
Uh, and yeah, he tears away hispants, luckily his briefs are

(10:30):
very aerodynamic and breathable,so he's ready for everything.
Argyle socks that go upto mid calf, not so much.
Loafer's not so, uh, attuned to thistask, but he's ready, and he is, he
comes in taking the class by storm.
We see a montage of him doing allthe moves on the little stool step.
He, you know, gets up, holds himself upon one hand like a breakdancing move.

(10:54):
Does all these cool,like, spins and flips.
Uh, he's, you know, helping otherpeople with their form as he's doing
incredible things with his lower body.
He's really giving NickBronson a run for his money.

Alex (11:07):
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha!

Adam (11:09):
Whoa!

Alex (11:09):
I feel excellent.

Adam (11:10):
Professor, slow down!
Slow just focus on doingthe doing the moves.
We don't want to tire herout too fast, you know?
I know you're You're beencoming here for a while.
You really got it down, but youknow, we got some beginners in here.
So just, just slow it down.
Take it easy.
We're transitioning to a lower BPMhere on the, on the boom box folks.
Here we go.
All right.
Just cooling down, cooling down.

(11:31):
This has been a great class.
You all been doing such a great job.
I'm so proud of you, and just to see themen and women that you've become over
this 15 minutes has been just incredible.
I I really am so proud of you.
And As as Nick The kid in the

Alex (11:46):
front row breaks down in tears.
As as Nick Bronson is talking, weslowly pan past everyone actively
listening to one of the back windows,and we just see, uh, a concerned Mike
trying to peer in through the window.
How

Mike (12:00):
the what the did he just How do you not bring shorts?
Th th that doesn't make any sense.
How does this This professor'sbreaking all sorts of regulations here.
I don't I don't understand it.

Adam (12:15):
Um, sir, you We have a pretty we have a pretty strict
No, uh, creepily staring throughthe window policy at the gym, so.
Oh, I'm

Mike (12:25):
not, I'm not, I'm not creepily staring through the window, I'm, I'm
seductively You're sweating pretty

Adam (12:29):
hard, you're sweating pretty hard, sir. Yeah, it's,

Mike (12:32):
it's, it's hot as all hell, there's no, the, the, the air
conditioning is not working in here.

Adam (12:36):
Look, they're busy in the science hall.
We've called, we've put inso many maintenance requests.
Yeah, we're doing our best.
We put up the fans.
We got a box fan right there.
Go stand in front of it.
Cool yourself off.
Stop staring at the aerobics class, dude.

Mike (12:54):
If I can't, I, uh, dude, I,

Adam (12:56):
I, I, Don't, dude, stop trying to relate to me by also calling me dude.
What's your name?
My name is Tyrone, and I

Mike (13:10):
What's your last name, Tyrone?

Adam (13:14):
My name is Tyrone Barbells Johnson.
My nickname is Barbells becauseas you can see I only do arms.

Mike (13:23):
Yeah, no, I can, I can tell you got a real Dorito look,
uh, body look going on here.
Um.

Adam (13:30):
I think of it more as like, um, the space shuttle.
You know how the space shuttle hasthe big things on the sides but
it's kind of thin in the middle?
Yeah, that's what I'm going for.
You don't work out abs or legs.
I wanted my nickname to be SpaceShuttle, but it did not catch on.
And, you know, the criticalthinking skills in this gym

(13:54):
gets a lot of meatheads in it.
Pretty much just, you know, firstthought, best thought with those guys.
And they saw me on the barbells, theysaid, we're gonna call you barbells.
Anyway, you gotta stepaway from the window.

Alex (14:06):
As barbells is talking, a little kid sneaks up behind him.
And pushes him, uh, so that hestarts turtle shelling on his back.
Hey, hey, good luckgetting up now, barbells.
He uses

Adam (14:19):
his massive arms to sort of, like, lever himself up from the floor, sort of
like that Boston Dynamics robot dog does.
And, uh, puts himself backonto, sort of, steady footing.
That keeps happening, and it's the moreI, the more time I spend here talking
to you, the more time I'm not keepinga constant eye out for the, you know,

(14:43):
roving bands of children that come inthis gym to use the trampoline pit.
We got a trampoline pitwith the, you know, the foam
cubes in it, you know, dude.
I've seen you in there, right?
You,
you

Alex (15:03):
You

Adam (15:04):
hide in there when you're upset, right?
You crawl into, you crawl into thefoam cubes and sort of have like little
like sensory breakdown or something.

Mike (15:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You, you could say I frequent the pit.
Um, that, uh, that, that, that'sa, that's an accurate statement.

Adam (15:20):
Um, yeah.
So you're gonna have tostep a away from the window.
Um, you know,

Mike (15:24):
Bargo, I got a question for you.

Adam (15:26):
Um, can we, can I, can you ask me that over here, away
from, you know, where people are?
Yeah, working out and on display.
I personally, I was against installingthe picture window into the aerobics room.
You know, at the rear, soit's all, you know, ass.

Mike (15:45):
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm aware it's a weird setup.
I

Adam (15:51):
was overruled.
And it shouldn't, honestly,it shouldn't be one way glass.
I find that sort of problematic.
That they can't see.
I'm trying to unionize the gym, okay?
Don't tell anyone, because, you know, wehaven't gone through all the procedural
steps yet, but I am passing around unioncards to the other employees at the gym.

Mike (16:13):
Do you, do you work at the gym?
That was never established.
I thought you were justthe guy that came here.

Adam (16:18):
I think I mentioned making maintenance requests
about the air conditioning.
Uh, which it would be strange forme to do if I didn't work here.
That's real Karen behavior, I feel.

Mike (16:29):
I suppose so.
I suppose so.
Also,

Adam (16:30):
don't be careful, uh, if you're going to go and use the elliptical.
You know, Karen, because of herwide stance, does need all three of
the ones that she's straddling, so.
Yeah, I

Mike (16:42):
see that.
It's, it's actually quite impressivethat she's, that she's making it work.
She's got like.
She, her, her arm, she's not reallytouching the, uh, the, the pedals at all.
Her arms are just wrapped around the,or her, her legs are just wrapped
around the arm swinging parts.

Adam (16:59):
She, ever since she won the Guinness world record for
riding the world's widest horse.
It's been difficult for her tofit on to the standard machine.
Right.
So as you can imagine Whatdid you want to ask me?
Come here.
Okay, let's go to the smoothie bar.
Let's go to the you're moving me

Mike (17:17):
around a lot here All right

Adam (17:20):
And yes that we're only serving lukewarm smoothies right now just
because of you know The air conditioning.
The situation.
They're, they, they, theingredients are cold.
The ingredients arecold and well preserved.
The moment they get pulled outof the refrigerator, though,
the humidity hits and they are,you know, room temp. For sure.

(17:40):
So if you're fine with drinking warmyogurt, we can whip you up something.
Fantastic.
Great, yeah, I'll get it, yeah.
And the problem with the humidityis the, the whey is not dissolving,
so it, there is some grit.

Mike (17:55):
You know, Barbell, I don't know if you have the wisdom I'm looking for
here, I'm gonna be honest with you.
Well, just ask me the question.
Are you sure?
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
I was going to say.
You know, you know the, you know,doc, the, the, the math professor
that just, that just popped in?

Adam (18:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I, I'm in one of his, uh,advanced calculus classes.
You know, this is work study for me.
I'm not a full Yeah, full-timegym employee, but I understand.
Yes, I do know Hinton.

Mike (18:25):
Uh, okay.
He's a pretty toughgrader, wouldn't you say?

Adam (18:29):
Oh yeah, I am scraping by in that class.
Luckily, you know, all of the testsand quizzes are 100 questions,
so I know exactly where I stand.
But I mean, I'm getting 70s, 69s, which,I mean, is nice, but 68, 67, not so much.
Dude, check this out.
Eking, yeah?

Mike (18:50):
Mike takes out the paper.
The, his, his test paper.
100?!

Adam (18:55):
On one of Doc's quizzes?
Yeah.

Mike (18:59):
Shit,

Adam (19:00):
this is hard stuff.
This is Pythagorean.

Mike (19:02):
Barbos, look at me in the eyes.
Look at me in the eyes.
I'm looking.
Look deep into my eyes.
Yeah.
Is there any, like, iota ofintelligence behind these

Adam (19:14):
eyes?
I don't like to To, to, you know, makesweeping generalizations of people.
I'm sure you're really good.
I'm sure you're reallygood at like, you know.
I will push

Mike (19:28):
you over if I don't get a straight answer from you.

Adam (19:30):
No, I mean, obviously not.
You're not good at math, clearly.
I mean, everything about you justscreams that you don't know how to add.
And that if I need to tip at a restaurant,I Certainly shouldn't turn to you.

Mike (19:44):
Okay.
That's what I thought.
I was going to say like,

Adam (19:48):
but, but I was going to say, it looks like, you know, you might
be like, you might have the kind ofintelligence where you're like good
at judging distances or identifyingcolors that go well together.

Alex (19:58):
That's called spatial intelligence.
You walk.
Thank you.
Hey, hey, Greg.

Adam (20:04):
Greg is, uh, Greg comes in and provides sort of motivation
to some of our less motivated,uh, athletes that come in here.
Just calling out nice things about them,you know, their eyes, which obviously
when you came in, he did not do.
Um, you know, that sort of thing.
This is a very positive

Mike (20:25):
gist.
I don't think Greg said asingle nice thing to me,
actually, as I walked in here.
We

Adam (20:30):
cut back to, um, Mike walking into the gym 15 minutes ago.

Alex (20:36):
Uh, before Mike walks in, there's like a few other people
before him, like, Hi, nice to see you.
Oh, you have such beautiful eyes.
Oh, Oh, what a lovely, lovely hairdo.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, hey,

Mike (20:49):
Greg.
Alright.

Alex (20:54):
Mr. Jameson, come in.
Can I get your coat?

Adam (20:56):
Oh, of course, Greg.
You are always so kind.
Hey, what do you think of my mustache?
Curled it special for you.

Alex (21:04):
Oh, my goodness.
I died and went to hairy heaven.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Uh, no, I

Adam (21:10):
mean, uh, I'm sure he was just, you know, turned around.
He was looking at something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mike (21:15):
Just a Positive workspace, positive workspace.

Adam (21:17):
Partial, partial eclipse today.
So I think he was probablydistracted by that.

Mike (21:22):
Yeah, yeah.
So, here's the thing.
Doc isn't a friendly guy, butI notice he's smiling in that
aerobics class right there.
Oh yeah.

Adam (21:32):
I've been in there wiping up, uh, while that class is going on, and he
has, I've never seen as happy or virilea man as him when he tears his tearaway
pants off and works out in his suit.
Incredible.

Mike (21:49):
Does he often just go full Pooh Bear during his workouts?
Because he's doing that today.

Adam (21:55):
He's got briefs.
It's got briefs.
He's got like, mesh briefs.

Mike (21:59):
Okay.

Adam (22:00):
I mean, yeah, you can see.
It's a mesh, that's the problem.
It's a wide mesh, but it's there.
He has the support, and that'swhat's important in aerobics.
Right, right.
Um.
And I mean, the supportis not substantial.
But it keeps things roughly in place.
I mean, there is dangling.

Mike (22:20):
I, I don't know why you're saying so much.
I was, I was trying to pay very closeattention to the situation before
you rudely gave me warm yogurt.
So, I think that, I thinkthis is Well, I'm gonna

Adam (22:32):
take it back if you don't want it.
Jesus Christ.
I don't, I want it.
I want it.
No, no, no.
I'm gonna take it back.
I'm gonna leave it on thecounter here for the next person.
I'm not done.

Mike (22:42):
That's gonna, it's gonna curdle.
It's gonna be bad.

Adam (22:45):
I'll give it to you then.

Mike (22:47):
Give me my yogurt.

Adam (22:49):
What's in it for me?
Will you sign this union card?

Mike (22:55):
They don't work for your establishment.
They don't

Adam (22:59):
need to know that.
Come on, help me.
Help me form an illegal union.
Come on.
And then I'll give you your warm yogurt.
This is a classic prit quid pro yo.

Mike (23:15):
I'll help seize the means of production.
That's fine.
Fuck Alex.
That

Adam (23:19):
was the best workout I've had.
Uh, maybe in my entire life,I've never felt so fit.

Alex (23:27):
Top three for me.
Definitely.

Adam (23:29):
I would love to hear about the other two later.
Hey, is that Mike?

Alex (23:33):
Oh, sure.
No story time for Alex.
Oh, Hey, it is Mike.

Adam (23:38):
Hey, Mike, what's up?
What do you do?
I thought you don't exercise.
What are you doing here?

Mike (23:44):
Yeah, no, I am adamantly.
I think that God intended the sweatto stay in our bodies That's why
all the liquid the blood everythingshould stay inside at all times
I think you're missing a big one.
I think you're missing a big one there.
Oh, no, I'm a major one.
I'm aware also come that's why I Is that

(24:07):
how you were

Adam (24:09):
going for it?
Is that how you were going for it?
Tears?

Alex (24:17):
Oh, ps

Mike (24:19):
Yeah, that's right.
No, I, that's why my, I have, I, I'mparticipating in no piss January, so

Alex (24:27):
Wow.
Still

Mike (24:29):
It's April.
Yeah.
No, I think that I'll just,I'm just going strong here.

Adam (24:33):
If, if I go back to the dorm room and I can't find my
cork again, I'm gonna be pissed.
won't, no pun, pun

Mike (24:41):
intended.
You won't be, and I'll tell you why.
But that's, that's adifferent, come on man.

Adam (24:46):
That's different.
Every January you ruin all of my wines.
What's up with that?

Mike (24:52):
Yeah, I got it.
It's it's listen, I, I, Irespect your traditions.
You got to respect mine.

Adam (24:59):
I mean, I go out and I buy the big gallon jug of wine with its gigantic cork.
So also

Mike (25:06):
we're going to, we're going to step back for a second.
I really don't think wineshould be presented in gallons.
That's another moralline in the sand for me.
I I've been overlooking it for a while,but that's, it's kind of what I call

Adam (25:18):
it.
You might have a problem with the bottle.
You clearly don't havea problem with the cork.
No, according to the call.
The call I received from your urologistabout you refusing to remove it.
Refusing to remove it atthe end, on January 31st.

Mike (25:37):
Yeah, that's um, gotta remove you as my emergency contact.
Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
So what's, what are you

Alex (25:46):
doing here?
Yeah, what, uh, you don't work out.

Mike (25:50):
No, I don't, no, I actively, I actively refuse to.
Um, no, so, you see, you seethat guy right there with,
with the dick hanging out?
Technically not hanging out,technically it's mesh based.
It's not hanging

Adam (26:01):
out, that's, I mean it's a wide mesh, but it's there, it's support.
It's firmly packed.
Yeah.
Firmly packed is a greatway to describe it.
What about him?
He's been coming to all the classes.
We've seen him.

Mike (26:12):
What?
That's my professor.
That's your professor.
Yeah.

Adam (26:15):
Oh, okay.
I thought, but you're failing math, right?
No.
I heard you crying about it in theNot in the I, I could have sworn I
was walking past the trampoline pitand I heard you, you crying Adam,

Mike (26:28):
you will never, you will never, ever, ever find me partaking in
sinful, in sinful crying in the ballpit ever again, because look at this.
Look at this.
Look at this grade.
Look at this fucking grade right here.

Adam (26:41):
That's a mistake?
That like, line next to yourzeroes is like an errant mark?
No.
A 100.
You got a 100 on a math test.

Mike (26:51):
Yeah, and I know enough math to know that's pretty good.
Right, but there are there are

Adam (26:56):
triangles on here and you can barely I asked you to like subtract What
how many of us would be on the podcastif Alex left and you couldn't do that?
It's gotta be seven, right?

Alex (27:10):
I'm aware.
It's Something like that.
Uh, yeah, I I'm also not super like surehow this happened or why this happened
I mean here's so here's my thought

Mike (27:20):
here's

Alex (27:20):
my thought

Mike (27:21):
as he was

Alex (27:21):
leaving

Mike (27:22):
this fell out of his mesh pocket Right, that's our instructor.
That's Nick Bronson.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you see open it up.
What do you see inside?
Is he a hot guy?
A lot of hearts, right?
A lot of hearts.

Adam (27:37):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, there's all the different photos of Nick
Bronson, various muscly poses, and yeahYeah, there are hearts around them.
Are you sure that, I mean, that's thedesign of the brochure though, right?
Or no?
I

Mike (27:51):
think, no, I think the reason why he gave me a 100 is because
he Wants to fuck Nick Bronson

Adam (28:00):
Let me see that

Alex (28:01):
I yeah, there you go, I don't know if those dots
connect Mike Oh, no, I mean on

Adam (28:06):
the on the back.
It does Get a load of that drawing Alex.
I like a load.
Oh he did

Alex (28:12):
you do under you do understand like the like The
separation of logic here, right?
Like he wants to fuck Nick Bronson sho.
Yeah.
Whatever everybody does.
How does , how does, how doeshim giving you a hundred on your
test get him closer to that?

(28:32):
Is

Adam (28:32):
he goal, he, is he like giving everyone on the test hundreds?
Like no.
Or is it just you?
No,

Alex (28:38):
just me.
But like, why?
I don't like Do you thinkmaybe it just earned it?

Adam (28:44):
Yeah, I mean it sort of seems like you, you must have earned it because
if, if he's not giving it to everyoneThen he must not be, I'm making a leap
in logic myself that he's so hornythat he wants to give everyone hundreds
But it seems like, I mean, it's justyou man, like, it might just be you.

Mike (29:05):
I, I, I don't, okay All right, listen If you disagree
with me that strongly, then Adam,you can walk away, and Alex and
I can do this, just the 12 of us.

Adam (29:16):
Mike, that's a good callback to earlier, but I really, Alex and I are
actually going out for hot yogurt.
Uh, I'm sorry, I misspoke, hot yoga, butactually, hot yogurt sounds pretty good.
Alex, do you want togo to the smoothie bar?

Alex (29:31):
Uh, yeah, sure.
Hot yogurt can wait.

Adam (29:35):
All right, Mike, good luck with your, uh, side quest or whatever this is.
I mean, I could enjoy it.

Mike (29:41):
I could go for, I could go for a steamy gurt, but okay.

Alex (29:44):
Bye!
Congrats on the 100.
Yeah, congrats.
Hopefully it wasn't a derived plot byyour professor to fuck a much younger man.
Again.
Again.

Mike (29:57):
Thanks for

Adam (29:57):
your support, guys.
Uh, Mike, he arrives at the dormbuilding, um, Oh, hold the door.
Hold the door there.

Mike (30:06):
Oh, well, hey, oh, hello.

Adam (30:09):
Hey, thanks.
Hey, uh, Nick Bronson.
Nice to meet you.
I'm just, uh, meeting,meeting someone here.
Um,

Mike (30:17):
oh, Nick, I, uh, hi, I'm, I'm Mike.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Mike I, um, I, I'm sorry.
I'm a little bit starstruck.
I see you all the time at the gymdoing the aerobics class and, uh, you,
you, you seem to do such a great job.
I, uh, just wanted to say, yeah,yeah, never gone to it, never gone
to it, but I've, uh, I, I haven't

Adam (30:36):
seen you and I normally leave through the back.
So I'm not sure how you were ableto see me at the aerobics class.
Oh, oh well.
Oh,

Mike (30:44):
well, the, well, there's a one way window, um, at the, yeah, there's, there's
a one way window that was installed there.
And so I, I check it out.
It's, it's, it's great.
You do good work.
People really enjoy it.

Adam (30:57):
Alright, I mean, I guess, yeah, it's, it's, it's my passion.
I love physical fitness, andI love helping people get fit.
Uh, hey, I could give youa free class if you wanted.

Mike (31:08):
Oh, I'm morally opposed to exercise, but that's so kind of you.
You're one of those,

Adam (31:13):
huh?

Mike (31:14):
Yeah, yeah, this, this and they, they got me, they, what, what can I say?
They, uh, they, they,they make a compelling

Adam (31:20):
argument.
Okay, we flash back to someoneknocking on Mike's door.

Mike (31:25):
Hey, uh, Mike is, Mike is mid workout.
Hey, hey, how's it going?

Adam (31:32):
Hi, have you heard the good news?

Mike (31:35):
No, what's the, I'm, I'm, I got like ten minutes left
before I gotta do the next set.
What's, what's the matter?
Ten seconds left.
No,

Adam (31:42):
you don't.
What do you mean?
Jesus doesn't want you to.
Doesn't want me to exercise?
He doesn't want you.
Here's our

Alex (31:49):
pamphlet, Sweat is Sin.

Adam (31:51):
Here's our pamphlet, Sweat is Sin.
You don't need to exercise becauseJesus is strong enough to carry you.
Jesus is strong enough to carry you.
Sorry, I'm emotional.
Let me tell you,

Alex (32:03):
uh, let Let me tell you a story that you've never heard before.
So you're walking along a beach, right?
And we cut back.
This is

Adam (32:10):
from the Bible!

Mike (32:13):
Yeah,

Alex (32:13):
yeah, no,

Adam (32:14):
so Yeah, you wanna they gotcha, huh?
They've been going door to door.
They've really been I honestly,it was fine at first, pretty
innocuous, but I have noticed alittle dip in my attendance lately.
I mean, it's tough out

Mike (32:26):
there.
I can't blame people coming to Christ.
That's, uh, that's, that's great.
Um, but yeah, I mean, hey, you do you,you know, I'm not one of those that, you
know, I'm not one of those, hey, stop it.
But you know, I, uh, I'm, um, I thinkthat, you know, you do good work.
You make people happy.
There's, there's value to that.

Adam (32:45):
You do think I'm going to hell though, right?
Oh,

Mike (32:48):
a hundred percent.
Well, because where else do you sweat?
You sweat when you exercise.
You sweat in hell

Adam (32:53):
because it's

Mike (32:54):
hot.
It's hot as

Adam (32:55):
hell in this lobby.
For one thing.
Yeah, exactly.

Mike (33:00):
I'm pretty sure you just end up here when you die.
I mean, it's

Adam (33:03):
good and it's good in the gym because that's, you know, you shed a
ton of sweat, but right, which is what

Mike (33:10):
the devil wants.
Yeah,

Adam (33:12):
but yeah, so I'm, I'm waiting for someone, um,

Mike (33:17):
who, who are you waiting for?
If you don't want me asking,

Adam (33:20):
uh, you know, the, the professor who is also an RA in this dorm building
to get a little extra money on theside, uh, doc, you know, you know, doc.
I

Mike (33:29):
know Doc, Doc, Doc.
Yeah.

Adam (33:31):
Yeah, he, he booked a private session with me, so.
Oh, he did?
Yeah, he booked a private sessionwith me, so I'm just gonna come up to
his, uh, he's, he's gonna come downand get me, and I'm gonna help him
work out in his, uh, private room.

Alex (33:45):
He, uh, the, he, the stairs open, and, uh, Doc walks out, like,
in a bathrobe, like, Oh, Nick, hello.
Sorry, I just stepped out of the shower.
Oh, hey.
Oh, hello, Mike.

Mike (33:57):
Hey, um, Doc, I, hello, what's, I shouldn't ask, this is
none of my business, but it's goodto see you, it's good to see you.
It's not.
You're right, it is none of your

Alex (34:08):
business.

Adam (34:09):
It's really not.
I'm not, can we?

Alex (34:12):
I'm trying to stay fit, Mike, you know, it's just how it is, uh, and you
know, if you keep Getting, uh, letting,uh, suspicion, uh, you know, lead your
life, it's gonna lead to anger, and, uh, Imean, my brother has a huge anger problem.
We call him Grumpy.
So, you know.

(34:33):
Yeah,

Adam (34:33):
you were telling me about your six brothers.

Alex (34:35):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Um, you know, we, we, Everything changedfor us when I moved out, uh, You see
there was this girl we housed for alittle bit, they start walking away.
Yeah, tell me this storyagain, it's really interesting.

Mike (34:48):
I have a question about the, uh, the, the, the test
that, uh, uh, next week.

Alex (34:54):
The next test?
Yeah, what's that?
Yeah,

Mike (34:57):
yeah, yeah.
Um, what, what's gonna be on it?

Adam (35:01):
Math.

Mike (35:03):
Okay.
Can I get a hundred?

Adam (35:05):
Uh, uh, Nick?
Sort of puts his hand on the small ofDoc's back to, like, lead him towards
the stairs so he can get away from Mike.

Alex (35:18):
You can see, like, you see him talking to himself,
like, I can't change anything.
You know, Mike, you just try yourbest and I'm, I'm I I'm confident
that you're gonna do just fine.

Mike (35:33):
Alright.
Okay, doc.
You got it.

Alex (35:36):
As they walk away, Nick winks to Mike.
Ding!

Adam (35:42):
That'll be a sound effect.

Mike (35:44):
Validation!
Validation!
I knew it!
I knew it!

Adam (35:47):
Hey!
Shut Stop Stop yelling in the lobby.
It's too hot for that shit.

Mike (35:51):
Shut up, Jeff!
You don't know anything!

Adam (35:54):
Are you coming in or going out, Mike?
I'm going out.
I'm going out.
I'm gonna lock the doorcuz I gotta go on my break.
What?
Okay, so you can't get back in.
Just so you can't getback in for 30 minutes.

Mike (36:07):
Jeff, I actively don't give a shit about your schedule.
You're just being a dick right now.
So that's what I'm,that's what I'm saying.

Adam (36:13):
Mike, I know it's hot.
I know it's hot.
But let's not let ourtempers flare too much.
If you get one more violation,you're out on your ass, you know.
Okay.
I caught you with that candle.
Jeff.
I caught you with all those candles.
God, I've never seen so manycandles in the dorm room.
I'm gonna

Mike (36:30):
de I'm gonna de Okay, it was a Yankee candle sale.
Okay.
What was I supposed to do?
We're gonna deescalate.
We're gonna take it down a notch

Adam (36:38):
I should have known I saw you coming in with that cart full of
Yankee candles I should have puttwo and two together, but I didn't

Mike (36:44):
Jeff listen to me right now.
You ready?
You ready?
I don't know if you're ready.
Are you sure you're ready

Adam (36:50):
Mike?
I swear to God just say Jeff.
Fuck you
We flash forward

Mike (37:02):
To, like, running up at the hot yogurt, yogurt stand.
I will, oh, I'm sorry, I was goingto Alex and Adam, but if you want
to do something else, go ahead.

Adam (37:10):
Oh, we followed, camera fo okay, drone shot, aerial shot following
Mike as he sprints across the campus.
He is not fast, by the way, andhe does trip a couple times.
See, because he does not exercise ever.
Not even over anything, it's justlike, you know, when you sort of hit
the You're the ground weird with yoursneaker and you start a stutter step.

(37:33):
It's a lot of those.
It's more of those than youwould expect a person to have.
Um, and he, he's at the base ofthe great staircase and mentally,
you know, trying to work out.
You can see all this from the drone shot.
Work out whether or not he has the staminato go up the 49 steps that are there.
But Adam and Alex are walkingdown the steps at the same time.

Alex (37:55):
It's basically milk, right?
Like, it's just so hot, it'smelted all the, like, things,
and it's basically just milk.
It's like thick milk.

Adam (38:03):
Alex!
Hey, Mike.
Hey!
We stopped three steps above, Mike.
Hey,

Alex (38:12):
Mike.

Adam (38:12):
You're looking all sweaty.
Yeah, the top of your headlooks, uh, red and wet.

Mike (38:18):
Shit.
Shit.
I I'll deal with that later.
Guys, I got confirmation.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.

Adam (38:26):
Mike, we know you got confirmation.
You brag about it every nightwhen you're praying to Jesus.
No.

Mike (38:32):
Not that.
Not that confirmation.
I didn't get that.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I Plus, I think it was undonebecause I spilled the drop of sweat.
I I've I've gotta reGod, you and that cult.

Alex (38:44):
Yeah.
Hey man, shit happens.
I got you.
Did you just say cult?
Nevermind.
How many?
I've been in so

Mike (38:52):
many cults.
Oh my god.
Listen, the Church of theLazy Day Saints is not a cult.
It's not.
It's not a cult.
It's good.
It's great.
It's, it's, it's, it's a legitimateProtestant organization and I,
I, anyway, we'll talk later.
My point is, the professor is giving megood grades because he gets, he gets it.

(39:18):
In with fucking Nick.

Adam (39:22):
Uh, but like, why?
Like, does

Alex (39:26):
Nick owe you?
Like, I don't, like, do you know him?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Explain this to me in away that it makes sense.
I don't understand it.
It's making me mad.
I've watched

Mike (39:38):
his aerobics class.
Uh huh.
And I was, so he was walking upthe stairs with the professor.
That had just gotten out of theshower, also a sin by the way, but
he had just gotten out of the shower.
We

Adam (39:52):
know you feel that way, and we've begged you to not.
I lit the

Mike (39:55):
candles to get rid of the smell, okay?

Alex (39:58):
He

Adam (39:58):
did, he did.
Set my shower curtain on fire,shower curtain that I bought.
That's threshold, Mike.
That's a step above roomessentials from Target.

Mike (40:06):
If I, if I have the candles.
going, you don't need a shower too.
It's one or the other.
You don't, uh, other than that, you're,you're, you're doing full on aromatherapy,
which we know is a Satanist cult.
Anyway, that's, that's allof their, of their thing.
My point is, as they were walking up thestairs, Nick turned to me and he went.

(40:30):
Okay, but like.

Alex (40:33):
But why you

Adam (40:34):
is, I think, what Alex is getting

Alex (40:35):
at.
Why, like, what, what,what's happening here?
I don't know!
Does Nick want to fuck Doc?
Does Doc, like, what isNick getting out of this?

Mike (40:45):
He

Alex (40:46):
seemed into it.
Like, did he know you werehaving trouble in math?
Like, there are, there are partsof this story that are missing.

Mike (40:56):
I don't know why you're

Adam (40:56):
talking about me and you.
You've been showing us everyone your test.
Did you show him your test orwas that not did that not happen?

Mike (41:04):
Oh, I don't I don't know if that came up actually.
I don't know if I brought thatup to Nick when I spoke to him.
Mike,

Alex (41:11):
you're you're setting a very dangerous precedent here for four
long years of This, like, our liveshave made nothing but perfect sense.
Yeah.
And now, for the first time,something doesn't add up.
There's a logical

Adam (41:24):
hole in something that's happened to us, which is And I, I feel like you

Alex (41:27):
don't see the hole, which is kind of even more frustrating.
I don't.

Mike (41:32):
I, I needed a better grade.
Nick smashes Doc, andnow I got a good grade.
They're very, they'recorrelated, but I wouldn't lie.
That first link in the

Alex (41:42):
chain doesn't add up.
Does Nick know what he's doing?
Is it like He winked at me, he must know!
Like, why does Doc think giving you100s gets him la Or is it the other

Adam (41:58):
way around?
Like, we're not sure aboutthe directionality of it.
Are you getting 100s because theprofessor is fucking Nick Bronson?
Or is Nick Bronson fuckingthe professor because you're

Alex (42:14):
getting 100s?
And in which case, why would he do that?
And why would Doc give you a hundred?
I don't get it.

Mike (42:29):
I just know it's happening.
I just know that my grades are adirect result of the Frick Frack
that's happening up in the shower.

Adam (42:37):
You think that Wow, okay.
It didn't sound from your storylike you knew that they were
going to have sex in the shower.
I

Mike (42:45):
suppose I don't.
I suppose it might be aFrick Frack on the bed.
That also could be a possibility.
But I don't, I don't know.
I, I just, I don't know.

Alex (42:54):
Have you spoken to Nick before this?
No, I was, I was a fan.
Did he, did he know you existed?

Mike (43:01):
No, because it's a one way mirror.
It's not really a Then what

Alex (43:04):
the hell is happening?
I,
you guys raise some good
points.

Adam (43:11):
Okay, we cut to the basement of a church on the outskirts of Limbrook.
Okay, folks.
The, um, the, the meeting of the,of the Jehovah's Fitnesses is now,
uh, uh, assembled and, uh, we'rejust waiting for one more member
and then we will be able to, uh,to get down to the bus to business.

(43:35):
Um, has anyone seen.
Do we know if Nick is coming?
Has he, has he texted?
Do we think he's on a 5k run?
You know he likes to do those.
Yeah,

Mike (43:46):
I, uh, I think he's, uh, he's, he's, he's running a little, little behind.
He should be here in a second.

Alex (43:53):
I heard he was running into a behind.

Adam (43:55):
Whoa, okay, all right.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Dave.
Gossip is a sin, Dave.
You too, Doug.
It is so wonderfullycool in here, by the way.
It's so hot outside.
I love that our air conditioner works.
I love that we rerouted

Alex (44:10):
all of the air conditioning into this one room.
I was just going to say,

Adam (44:14):
if Nick, if Nick is running late, at least he's running at all, right?
Praise God.
Amen.
Praise

Alex (44:19):
God.
Praise God.

Adam (44:21):
A rep. Praise God.
Amen.
A rep. A rep, I guess?
Let's all do a curl, do a curl,everybody do Do two curls,
do two curls close together.
So very close, almost likeyou're doing prayer hands.
You follow?
I know this is new,this is new, this is new

Mike (44:39):
for the scripture.
It's a dual hammer curlthat's almost touching.
Yeah, I gotcha.
Oh, I gotcha, I get it.

Adam (44:45):
If you're not using, uh, dumbbells, which obviously we all are.
I mean, you're

Mike (44:51):
So many dumbbells, so many dumbbells.
I

Adam (44:53):
know.
But if you weren't, you could putyour hands together and do it.
So, it works.
I'm, I'm confident.
I know you guys think I'm making thisup as I go along, but God is telling
me, this is the regimen, this is, you'regonna see gains, and you're gonna, you
know, climb that Stairmaster to heaven.
Which, What did you guys think ofthe demo I sent around, Stairmaster

Mike (45:17):
to Heaven?
I think it's pretty solid.
I think, I think, honestly.
Good parody?
Good parody?
Yeah, good parody.
I think it was overrated.
I think, I don't really think it's alittle derivative if I'm being honest.

Adam (45:29):
You would, Jennifer.
Jennifer you would Jennifer you suck.

Mike (45:34):
I'm just you want a feedback.
I think that you're you're strong.
We

Adam (45:38):
know You toured with led zeppelin in the 60s.
We know before they were popular

Mike (45:45):
They remember my name that's all i'm saying they signed my yearbook
and everything They wrote theywrote a full sentence beyond hags.
Okay

Adam (45:59):
Have a great summer is hardly a full sentence beyond hags, Jennifer.
And, for the la if you bring upgoing to high school with Led
Zeppelin again, you gotta stop, okay?
That's not what this group is about.
Led was such a

Mike (46:12):
great guy, alright?
You know they're

Adam (46:15):
four guys!

Mike (46:18):
They're

Alex (46:18):
all great!
You know that!
It doesn't matter howthey identify these days.

Adam (46:23):
That's true.
The Jehovah's Fitnessesare very inclusive.
Oh, there's Nick.
Hey guys, sorry I'm late.
Uh, just, uh, heh, was taking care ofsome business, you know, private session.
Wink.

Alex (46:36):
Okay, we were just talking to, uh, your twin here.

Adam (46:39):
My brother?
Yeah.
Um, whose name would have to be Dick.
Yes, Dick is, uh, Or Rick.
Or Rick.
Sure.
I mean, same name.
Richard.
His name's Richard.
Or Schtick.
Richard Johnson.

Mike (46:53):
Richard Bronson.

Adam (46:54):
Richard Bronson.
Yeah, Dick is doing a Dick Bronson.
Yep.
Me, Nick Bronson, and my brotherDick Johnson are, uh, you know?
That's what the family group chat's for.
Uh, what did I miss?
What did I miss?
What's going on?

Mike (47:13):
Uh, we were just talking about his, his stair, stairmaster to heaven,
and I was saying it needs a little bitof work, if I'm being honest, if Led is
gonna be impressed at all, uh, y'know.

Adam (47:25):
You know, Jennifer, you would say that.
We know you went to high school, I, Iassume this has already been shouted
at you, so I won't belabor it toomuch, but, we know I'm just saying they

Mike (47:37):
wouldn't let Weird Al do it, I don't know if they're gonna let
you do it, that's all I need to say.

Adam (47:42):
If you bring up the fact that you went to high school with
Weird Al and Led Zeppelin onemore time, you're out of the game.
It was

Mike (47:49):
amazing.
Jimmy Page and Weird Al,like, they hated each other.
They were just going at each other'sthroats because Jimmy would do a
fun little strump and then WeirdAl would be like, Yeah, watch this.
And he would do a fun strump andlike, sarcastically, they hated it.
It was great.

Adam (48:05):
It's back when Weird Al was playing guitar instead of accordion.
We know.
We get it.
It's fine.

Mike (48:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adam (48:12):
Look, I got an update on the situation.
Ah.
If we want to all just take our seats,I'll pull down the, the slideshow here.
Okay.
So as you know, Operation VirginLoser is going fantastically.
We have identified, uh, we'lljust go through the major updates.
A couple months ago, we identifieda mark who's associated with

(48:35):
the Church of Lazy Day Saints.
We.
Uh, got me a job at the LynbrookUniversity gym where we know he
wouldn't frequent, thereby confusinghim when I eventually seduced his
professor and started banging himto make, to be able to, I'm working

(48:57):
it out folks, to be able to convincethe Mark that the reason he's getting
good grades in math Is, no, hold on.
I

Mike (49:07):
don't know if you thought this all the way through.
It

Alex (49:10):
sounds like you just wanted, like, you just wanted to get fucked.

Mike (49:14):
You just want to fuck with this kid?
Like, I mean, I thought that the overalllogic was that if we made him believe in
himself he'd actually start working out,but like, that doesn't seem to be working.

Adam (49:23):
Well, we have to break him first to build him up again.
This is classic.
Oh, okay.
Motivational stuff.
All right, here is the plan asclearly as I can explain it.
We find a kid on campuswho is not working out.
He's a member of theChurch of Lazy Day Saints.

Mike (49:39):
Lazy Day Saints.

Adam (49:41):
I get a job there.
I get benefits and health insurancefor the first time since I was 26.

Mike (49:47):
I have a question.

Adam (49:48):
Doug.

Mike (49:49):
Is, are you getting the job with the Lazy Day Saints?
No, that's, that's phase three.

Adam (49:54):
That's phase three.
I have to get a job atLynbrook University and beyond.
Oh, Lynbrook

Mike (49:58):
University.
Okay.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah,

Adam (50:01):
and be on the payroll for a while and get good, good
benefits so I can fix my teeth.
Then step phase three is gonnabe, is gonna be I actually
infiltrate the organization andchange, change it from the inside.
No, phase one, we're still in phase one.
I get a job at Limburg University.
I

(50:24):
seduce his professor, seduce a professorthat the, our Mark is taking a class from.
Following, I incept the idea that heshould give the Mark good grades in The
class, and then, I performatively tryto make the Mark think by strategically

(50:51):
leaving brochures around that I've markedup with hearts and crude drawings, make
him think that the reason that's happeningis because I'm fucking his professor.
Then, that realizationwill break him internally.
He will go leap into thetrampoline pit at the gym.

(51:15):
I will fish him out and be his savior.
I will pick him up and carry himlike Jesus Christ across the beach
into the class, get him to startworking out, get him away from
the Church of Lazy Day Saints.
Then he becomes an evangelist forus, starts a running club on campus.

(51:37):
We're golden, and I can keep my job.
So I can pay off my car.
Hey Paul, can I ask you a question?
Yes.

Mike (51:45):
You work at the university now, right?
Yeah.
Couldn't you just nowstart a running club?

Adam (51:52):
Well, yes.
Yes.
However

Alex (52:07):
You think you're too small, Johnny.
Oh, I'm

Adam (52:09):
sorry, I'm sorry.
My name's Doug.
Uh, I'm sorry.
This way.
It's not traceable to me, okay?
Cause I start a running club, Lazy DaySaints finds out, they know that the
Jehovah's Fitnesses are behind it, andthen, you know, the whole thing is blown.
Oh, it's a turf war, yeah.

(52:30):
suppressive person, Uh,I know this is more,
Um, Scientology?
Thiantology?
Our leg focused rival, but I think they,you know, they could be in cahoots.

(52:57):
There's a whole, you know, if we're gonnawin the holy war among fitness focused
religious cults, I mean, churches,then we're gonna have to, you know,
work smarter and operate on levels.
I think I got it,

Mike (53:13):
yeah.
I think so.
Okay.

Adam (53:16):
How would, if you had only heard, like, part of that plan and, and seen
the effects of it for, like, the past50 minutes, would you think that that
is a solid justification for everythingthat doesn't make somebody look crazy?
Or, no?
Can I

Mike (53:36):
be honest with you?
Can I be honest with you, Nick?
I think that's the stupidestshit I've ever heard in my life.
Cut back

Alex (53:41):
to Well, I guess we'll never know what the hell is going on here.
Yeah, we really don't

Adam (53:48):
follow, Mike, but, um I'm telling you,

Alex (53:51):
it's happening.
I'm telling you, it's making me angry.

Adam (53:54):
Okay.
It sounds like you might just beThe heat might be getting to you.
I think that might be it.
And when it cools down, maybeyou won't be crazy anymore.
Because right now You're crazy,and nobody believes you, and I

Mike (54:09):
feel like I'm communicating pretty good for the first time in
a while, but, let's do the episode!

Adam (54:16):
Okay, crazy.

Mike (54:19):
Let's, uh, let's, let's, let's go see if they got rid of the creature.
Let's go, let's go check it out.
Yeah, let's go in the science

Adam (54:24):
hall.
Uh, we cut to the science hall,we open the door, it looks kinda
like, um, Resident Evil, kind of?
Like, it's, there's like blood on thewalls and like mysterious substances.
There's a single light bulbhanging from the ceiling, swinging
back and forth and flickering.

(54:45):
Um, it looks very bad and, um,like something unspeakable happened
there, but it is 72 degrees.
Oh man, this feels amazing.
Okay, here.
Let's, uh, let's go intothis lab here and plug in.
There we go, and I'm recording.

(55:07):
Um, do you, do you want to sit on thestools, or what do you want to do?

Mike (55:11):
No, I want to, I want to sit on the, uh, on the, on the chair.
The, the bloody chair.
That, that looks really nice.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
Mike

Adam (55:17):
squishes into the bloody chair.
Okay.
Are you guys ready to break it down?

Mike (55:25):
Yeah, let's do it, baby.

Adam (55:27):
All right.
Break

Alex (55:28):
it

Adam (55:28):
down like a

Alex (55:28):
clown, Charlie.
B b b bro.
Okay.

Adam (55:31):
Welcome back to the Barone Zone.
We are talking about season four,episode eight, Deborah's workout.
Deborah, um, is horny from working out.
Um, fellas.

Mike (55:42):
Basically, that's basically it.
That's basically the gist of it.

Adam (55:46):
What'd you think of the episode?

Alex (55:50):
Okay.
Uh, hot, uh, okay.
Uh, I thought it was funny.
It was, it was a funny episode.
I wasn't happy to see attractive people.
Um, uh, you know, it's nice to seesome good old fashioned insane Rey.
Um, like very insecure, likeliterally this is like the most
beautiful thing for him, right?

(56:12):
Like, a lot of his personality isabout wife won't fuck me and then
whole episode wife is just so down sooften and Ray's just like, this is bad.
Yeah, I, you know, to give himcredit, he's not even like, this is
bad, like, you know, at some point,like, he was enjoying it at first.

(56:36):
Yeah, he was convincing himself thathe did something different, uh, and
then, of course, he found the, uh,the, the, the smoking gun and to be
honest, if I saw that, it would behard to not make the same conclusion.
It was one of

Mike (56:55):
the most logical leaps that he's made in the series.

Alex (57:01):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
So, you know, uh, like I get, I get whathe was, you know, thinking and doing
and stuff, but just, you know, the wayhe goes about, you know, everything
is just a freaking headache as usual.

Mike (57:16):
So I have, sorry, uh, Adam, do you have thoughts on the overall situation?

Adam (57:20):
I think It is a failure to communicate broadly that Debra did
not, the first time she came homefrom the workout, say, you know, that
workout made me feel really good aboutmyself, and that's why we had sex.
Um, I don't fully You know, agreethat it is a 100 percent logical

(57:45):
conclusion to jump to, you know,in a communicative relationship.
If Ray had said, when he discoveredthe brochure, Is this why you've
been coming home so horny lately?
Then Debra could have had the chanceto say, No, it's just because working

(58:08):
out makes me feel good about myself,and that makes me feel good about
other things, like she does at theend of the episode, after Ray destroys
their trash can in a fit of rage.
Heh heh heh.
So I think it's logical forRay to jump to that conclusion.
But it's an easily solvable, likemost conflicts on this show, it is

(58:29):
easily solvable by basic communicationand just not letting things fester.

Mike (58:37):
I'll be honest, there's probably a lot of different factors going into
the situation besides the fact thatthe writers wanted to make it happen.
But like, we were talking a littlebit off mic about like how Um, you
know, it's, it's shown if you startexercising regularly, you're going
to, it, it, increased sex drive issomething that is associated with that.

(58:58):
Um, you know.

Adam (58:59):
Yeah, you were yelling about that for.
I,

Mike (59:02):
it's a true.
Statement, which is why we shouldnot actually, anyway, I'm sorry.
I'm going off on my own, my owntangent here, but that's a different,
that's a different ball, uh, thinghere, but yeah, I think that there's,
that's a different ball, but, uh,yeah, I mean, overall, overall.
Ridiculous situation, hilarious situation.

(59:23):
Uh, Ray makes a huge ass of himself.
It, it, it's bad.
I, I cringed really hard during that scenewhere he's competing with the guy that.
But also at the same time, can we be inagreement that the aerobics instructor
touching Debra was deeply inappropriate?

Adam (59:45):
That felt it felt like a big leap from I'm standing at the front of the
class leaping into now I'm gonna sort ofput my hands on your waist and sort of
like kind of tickle you and yeah Gigglelike there there's There needs, if Debra's
comfortable with that, then great for her.

(01:00:06):
But I feel like we did notsee the necessary, um, sort
of like building up to that.
That it would then feel like 100percent consensual and normal.
But it seems weird.
Yeah, like the idea islike, right, that like, Ray

Alex (01:00:22):
is like, like in the wrong here.
Yeah.
Like to come by and like, you know,interrupt, uh, The, the, the show,
like he's overreacting and being like,uh, kind of like an asshole and like
that, that act right there kind of likegives some validation to his concerns.
He's got the right to beAnd that I don't like.

Mike (01:00:44):
Yeah, he's got the right to be upset by that thing, cause that, that,
even if that was like, even if theyhad the prior relationship, even if it
was really deeply inappropriate, I'mjust gonna Not okay, anyway, I'm sorry,
we're going off on a tangent here.
No, please.
Yeah, I have several otherminute thoughts to get to.

(01:01:06):
First of all, was this the firstexterior shot of Nemos that we got?

Adam (01:01:10):
I think there might have been one in, um, the first time we saw Nemos, um.
Yeah, I think

Mike (01:01:16):
we've gotten plenty.
Cause that, that block seemed new to me.
It could

Adam (01:01:22):
be a different shot, absolutely, but I remember in the first, uh, time
we saw Nemo's in season one, there wasdefinitely an exterior shot of it, because
I think it had like some other fakesign that was like Limbrook something or
other, like, as you know, because we're tobelieve that Nemo's is in Limbrook instead

(01:01:46):
of Queens where it was obviously So

Mike (01:01:50):
yeah,
I, I just wanted to bringthat up as a possibility.
I also wanted to say how, okay.
That scene was when, after the, afterthe whole, you know, Deborah gives
him the, gives him the whole kissof like, Oh, you got to go to golf.
Well then I guess you're gonna miss.
Like she gives him the kind of

(01:02:10):
thing,
exactly.
And then he goes and he meets up withRobert, with Andy and with, uh, with.
The other one whose nameI'm blanking on right now.
Gianni.
Is it?
Thank you, Gianni.
I knew it started with a G and Iknew it was Italian, but I, for some
reason, Giancarlo was in my head.
Um, so, um, and Gianni andthey're all upset with him.

(01:02:33):
Rightfully so, honestly,about him skipping golf.
I also had the thought, how long does Ray.
Last, that it's a full missedgolf situation, and not just a
late 10 or 15 minutes situation.

Alex (01:02:50):
Dude probably fell asleep

Adam (01:02:52):
afterwards.
At the end of the episode, when, uh,they say they have 15 minutes, Deborah
says, Oh good, we have time for anap then too, which could be gentle
ribbing, or could suggest that Raygets knocked out, uh, right after.
Gentle

Alex (01:03:07):
ribbing is also the kind of college, uh, condom they use.
Um, I think it was kind of shitty ofRay, obviously, to, uh, to just skip
out on golf because they will do that.
If you don't have your full four,they'll just not let you golf.
Um, but also like kind of like notcool of Deborah either to be like,

(01:03:31):
you know, like I get your horn,you got the horns, you know, it's
like, you know, your guy has plans.
And like, you know, obviously

Mike (01:03:42):
I got all these trumpets, what am I gonna do?

Alex (01:03:45):
I'm just saying, if, you know, It was the other way around, And, you know,
Rey was like, Oh, stay, make love to me.
Um, Tebra would be like, fuck off.

Adam (01:03:58):
I think A couple of factors at play.
I believe they have a telephoneright next to the kitchen entrance.
Yes.
Yes.
As they are going to, uh, fuck, whynot take half a second stop off,

(01:04:18):
presumably if they waited for himfor an hour, they maybe are not
Have not left their own houses yet,or did we already say he was late?
I don't remember There'sgot to be a way to get in.
I know it was 1999 And cellphones were not as commonplace.
They did exist but Yeah, there there wereways that he could have let them know I'm

(01:04:41):
not coming guys, you know, save them theactually I am I'm not coming with you.

Mike (01:04:49):
Like I said, though.
I'm about to get a

Adam (01:04:51):
hole in

Mike (01:04:51):
one Full hour good for him, man

Adam (01:04:54):
I don't think it was a full hour.

Mike (01:04:57):
I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt.
That's gonna knock him out a

Adam (01:04:59):
few points for me.
You have no reason to givehim the benefit of the doubt.
Based on everything we know about him.

Mike (01:05:06):
I suppose that's true, fair enough.

Adam (01:05:08):
I think, uh, it, uh, if Deborah was sufficiently ready to go, it
could have been 15 45 minute break.
No, sorry, that math doesn't work.
5. 50 minute break.
5.

Mike (01:05:25):
We do see later on that when Deborah, uh, gives him the come
hither at night, she agrees veryexcited because it's like, again?
Twice?
So I don't, I don't know if, Idon't know if it was wrapped or not.
Oh yeah, that does

Adam (01:05:38):
undercut that.
Um.
Yeah, the scene, well, yeah, and toacknowledge the, uh, inconvenience
that she causes Ray's friend, shedoes suggest that he should go
golfing tomorrow, and that, of course,undercuts the Roberts theory that she
only did it The original suspicion.

(01:05:58):
So that Ray wouldn't go golfing.
Right.
What do you think about Ray,just to go back to Nemo's,
oh, two things about Nemo's.
One, this is the last appearanceof, uh, Joseph V. Perry.
As Nemo, however, he will be recast inseason five, um, by a different actor who

(01:06:21):
will play Nemo and, um, no spoilers, but.
Needs to be there to facilitate thesale of Nemo's to, um, what's his face.
We'll get there.
Um, but yeah, that's it.
I think he died shortly afterthis or retired or something.

(01:06:42):
He's obviously no longer with us, butpoor one out for Joseph V. And also,
what do you think about Ray givinghis family's pizza to his friends?
I

Alex (01:06:53):
mean, if he's going to stay there for 20 minutes, he can order another
one and wait for it to cook while,uh, while they're eating that one.
Okay.
I don't think that, I, I, I seeno problem with that, right?
Unless, like, these kids werereally, really, really hungry.

Mike (01:07:08):
It's a little weird to delay your family meal.

Adam (01:07:10):
Yeah, that's what I was going to say, is that if they expected him to be
gone for 10 minutes to go and pick it upand come back, or however far away Nemo's
is, and then he's back in 40 minutes?
That's kind of I mean, like the pizzaitself is, is fungible or non fungible
or whatever the word is, but like itdoesn't matter what pizza he has, he can

(01:07:34):
bring a pizza back and be fine, but it'smore like the inconvenience and now his
family has to wait, uh, that I found tobe kind of a dick move just to make up
to his friends, and he didn't even giveAndy details, which he desperately wanted.
Um, what do you think about the theory?
Ray's theory, he pulleda muscle in his ribcage.

Alex (01:07:56):
I think that's stupid.
And, uh, it fits Ray perfectly.

Adam (01:08:02):
When it, the first half of the sentence,

Alex (01:08:04):
made

Adam (01:08:06):
me think, you know, the story about Marilyn Manson getting the rib removed.
I

Alex (01:08:14):
knew it wasn't going there, but Ray got his rib removed so Debra would
suck his dick, is what you're saying.

Adam (01:08:24):
I would never say that.
Neither would I. I'm just,that's just where my mind went.
Rib cage is such a specific choice.
Let me ask you a differentquestion about a different scene.
Ray finds the brochure.
From Debra's Gym.
Does it look to you, as it lookedto me, that Nick Bronson is wearing

(01:08:46):
jeans on the cover of the brochure?

Mike (01:08:49):
I thought I saw blue.
I

Adam (01:08:51):
wasn't sure.

Mike (01:08:51):
I didn't process it as jeans, but I was like, that's
an interesting gym choice.
It's

Adam (01:08:55):
probably blue, you know, track pants or shorts or
something, but it looks like jeans.
I'm gonna have to go look again,

Alex (01:09:04):
honestly.

Adam (01:09:05):
In which case, that

Mike (01:09:06):
stops being workout, that starts just being sex.
Yeah,

Adam (01:09:10):
that is, that's like, uh, not Chippendales.
That's like Magic Mikekind of business there.
Magic Nick Bronson.
All

Mike (01:09:19):
right.
I want to go to a differentscene if that's okay.
I want to, I want to specificallygo to the scene with Ray
and Robert and the family.
At the, uh, in the, in the parents house.
First of all, I love the, I wouldlike to put on some pants bit.
I thought that was a great line.
Um, I also am upset with Robert,cause what the fuck is wrong

(01:09:44):
with you telling your parentsabout your brother's sex life?
That seems like a huge boundary to cross.

Adam (01:09:50):
I know that's how he and Marie bond, is by gossiping about Ray, but
that is I mean, to be fair, they did,but, you know, four weeks ago, air all
of the sex talk amongst each other.
Like, now they know howoften Marie and Frank do it.
By the way, Ray says that threetimes in a week is a Barone record.

(01:10:12):
I think he means a Ray Barone record.
A Ray Barone record.
I agree.
Yeah, yeah.
Sounds like Frank has, youknow, bested that, for sure.

Alex (01:10:20):
Frank has easily gone, like, lucky seven, maybe.

Adam (01:10:27):
Um, yeah, but I really like the joke, How long is
the mirror in your apartment?
When he sees Robert pantsless.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a thinker, butit's a really good one.
But yeah, asking, telling yourparents that your brother is having
more sex than usual is weird.
It's very weird.

(01:10:47):
There's no justification forit other than that's weird.

Mike (01:10:54):
Um, I also liked the Ray go, uh, Frank going off
on how hot Nick Bronson was.
That was awesome.

Alex (01:11:01):
That's a handsome man.

Adam (01:11:03):
Yeah.

Alex (01:11:04):
You got to admit that's a handsome man, Robert.
It's like the one time Frank is likeopenly comfortable complimenting a man.
Complimenting a man.

Adam (01:11:12):
Um, I thought there were a couple of, uh, both Marie and Frank
have awful takes on this situation.
Sounds like somebody's trying to earn somejewelry, says Frank, which is horrible.
Um, and then Marie thinks Debrais compensating for not being
able to cook in the kitchen.
So she's cooking in the bedroom.

(01:11:33):
Yeah, both of them have, uh, I did,I did think it was funny that, um,
Frank calls her happy hips over there.
Frank's point of view hereis that Nick is helping out.
I have a feeling, I know your answers,but in a world where your wife is seeing
sexy people just in the world and thenthat gets her to, as Deborah says, that

(01:11:59):
gets her wanting to cheat on you withyou, then, I mean, that's fine to me.
I don't, I don't seeanything wrong with that.
How do you feel?

Mike (01:12:09):
I, I think you need to get a blindfold.
And, uh, make sure that she wearsit every time she leaves the house.
That's, that's my person.
If she wants you,

Adam (01:12:18):
she'll do it.
As Marie said, you must takeher out of that class right now.
As if Ray has any say in that at all.

Mike (01:12:25):
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, no, obviously, obviouslyit's, obviously it's stupid.
It's obviously this wholesituation is contrived and stupid.
Yeah.
And just like Like, like we, like wementioned before, only Ray could look at
any kind of situation where it's like,my wife wants to have sex with me more
and find a way to make it negative.
Yeah.

Alex (01:12:46):
Yeah, it's honestly a superpower at this point.
Like, dude, like, Ray could winthe lottery and he will give us
ten reasons why that's a bad thing.
Oh yeah.
The

Adam (01:12:55):
taxes.
One.

Mike (01:12:59):
Yeah, you still get money.
Uh, relative, relatives arecoming after you, you have to
go and fight for people with it.
You gotta hire a lawyer, uh,lottery lawyers are a thing.
Um, if you split the money, if youbought, if you would like had a
pool at work, you gotta like dealwith people that actually have it.
You gotta figure out a way to hide themoney so that people don't want it.

(01:13:19):
You gotta put it in your will,you just gotta make a new will,
and that's really annoying.
Uh, your wife is gonna divorce you becauseshe wants half of that cash for herself.
And, uh, I'm gonna say, um,Uh, uh, You're at eight.
I'm at eight?
Damn it.
Okay, um, I'm gonna, uh, I'llalso throw in that, um, you
know, I heard he said taxes.

(01:13:41):
I think that, um, Oh, you mentioned

Adam (01:13:43):
about, about five of these are hiding them from people, hiding
the money from people and taxes.
So you've covered that ground.
Oh,

Mike (01:13:53):
I got it.
I got it.
You got to figure out whereyou got to go on vacation.
That's a whole, that's a whole difficulty.
Okay.
And, uh, and, um, then you, uh, yougotta, you gotta figure out, um.
You gotta quit your job.
And that's like, you know,people are gonna cry.
That's, that's, that's kind of annoying.
Yeah, that's awkward.
That's an

Adam (01:14:11):
incredible way to frame quitting your job as how emotionally difficult it
is for the people you're leaving behind.

Alex (01:14:18):
Yeah.

Adam (01:14:19):
Lottery winners have like a really high rate of suicide also.
Um, so there's one.
Yeah,

Alex (01:14:24):
accidents happen.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, I guess

Mike (01:14:30):
so.

Adam (01:14:32):
Um, never, this is, after the cakes and this, you should be careful
about specifying a number of things.
Just in general.

Mike (01:14:42):
Well, to be clear, that was Alex that listed the ten reasons, but uh,
I'm glad I was able to fill in for that.
Oh, then Alex, keep

Adam (01:14:49):
doing it, and I'll keep asking Mike to name them.

Mike (01:14:53):
You make me pay for your numbers.
Love it.

Adam (01:14:56):
Well, you're good at math now, so you should be able to count up.

Mike (01:14:59):
Apparently, yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
Alright,

Adam (01:15:02):
um Thank God for

Mike (01:15:02):
Nick Bronson.

Alex (01:15:06):
Barometer time?

Adam (01:15:07):
Well, the newspaper that Robert's reading has an ad that says, elect
big savings at the Dodge presidentialevent, if that's important to you.
And then quickly important.
Mark Dobies plays Nick Bronson.
Um, he has actually been a personaltrainer since the late 2000s.
Isn't that funny?

(01:15:27):
He was acting from like thenineties through the, to like 2010,
and now he's a personal trainer.
So it was a self fulfilling prophecy.
He went back through his careerand he was like, what role did
I enjoy inhabiting the most?
Nick Bronson.
I'm going to be Nick Bronson.
Um, I found him on LinkedIn.

(01:15:47):
Should I send him a message?

Alex (01:15:49):
Just say, Hey, we're a big fan.
How fucking crazy wouldit be if we got him for

Mike (01:15:53):
this episode?
I have a feeling we could.
If Adam is able to get an interview withNick Bronson, include it right here.

Adam (01:16:02):
Um, and finally, Oh, Ray falling down and crushing
the boombox with his ass.
Has that

Mike (01:16:09):
Great funny moment.
Alex,

Adam (01:16:11):
has that ever happened to you?
And Mike, when did thatlast happen to you?

Alex (01:16:15):
Um, never broken a boombox with my ass.
A boombox with my ass.
Has broken my ass.
That's a whole different story.

Adam (01:16:28):
Do you want to know?
All right, we'll leave it for another day.

Alex (01:16:32):
Some, you know, you know, magic's in the mystery.
That's a

Adam (01:16:34):
Baroness right there.
How did Alex break his ass?
Yeah,

Mike (01:16:39):
don't do a deep dive on this if you don't have it already.
Do you know the name of the, ofthe, the last, the boombox company?
Oh, no, not the boombox company.
The, the, the guest in the, the cameoin the last, in the last hot clothes.

Adam (01:16:53):
I wouldn't call that a cameo, but I do She is listed on IMDb,
uh, it's probably Kimberly James asMonique, but no picture to confirm.
Uh, but she was best known for beingin the movie Mystery Men, which is
probably most notable for being, um,the, the music video for Uh, Smash

(01:17:16):
Mouth's All Star is a promotionalmusic video for the movie Mystery Men.
That is what that is from.
So, that's, there wego, got to Smash Mouth.

Mike (01:17:31):
Thank you.
She does not have a lot of other

Adam (01:17:33):
credits.
Does not have a lot of othercredits, she stopped working in 2000.
So she's not Uh, super, I mean I could,it's just too common a name to like, find
out if she is also a personal trainer.
I think she could do it.
She acted like one very well.
Um, Oh, also good to see Susan Verin backin this episode as Susie the waitress.

(01:17:58):
Yeah, that was funny.
I don't believe it's her last episode,at least it wasn't called out as such,
so hopefully we'll see her again.
Bringing Ray his family's pizza.
Anything else you wanted tocall out, or shall we pivot?

Mike (01:18:11):
I think that was the main bits, I just, the hot clothes was,
was pretty funny, I was kinda, Ithought it was, uh, I thought it
was a nice reversal, um, and yeah.

Adam (01:18:21):
Yeah, it's a great comic tag on the episode, um, obviously Rey staring
and grinning at this woman as she teachesthis class is weird, but hey, it gets
him exercising in his suede jacket,button up shirt, jeans, and boots.
So that's

Mike (01:18:41):
It's, it's very, it's very weird, it's a It's, it starts out as a bad thing.
The thing that sold me on it wasthe final line of, I feel really
good about myself right now.
That, uh, that, that got aslight chuckle out of me.
It was

Adam (01:18:53):
funny.
I like that he brought back a newboombox, but correct me if I'm wrong.
The woman brought her own boombox.
She did

Mike (01:19:02):
not use the boombox.
Yeah.

Adam (01:19:04):
It's a shame.
Um, okay, let's turn our attention.
Alex, anything else youwanted to talk about?
All right.
Let's turn our attention to ourpatented barometer, which is our, thank
God we're in the science building.
Cause you know, I've been petitioning forthem to let us do our science in here.
And they have said thatthis is not science and.

(01:19:26):
I disagree.
I think this is a completelyscientific endeavor where
we're rating Ray's performance.
Yeah, what are you talking about?

Alex (01:19:32):
We had that grant.

Adam (01:19:33):
We did have that grant.
I mean, we falsified alot of the application.
We did tell them we were researching.
We used the phrase, cancer moonshot,an awful lot for an application for
a grant that we could use to makeour Everybody Loves Raymond podcast.
But, we had it.
So it's science.
We're doing the science though, ofrating race performance as a husband,

(01:19:56):
brother, son, father, uh, exercise orfitness junkie, you know, a sex machine
on a scale from one to 10 with 10 beingthe great dads of sitcom history, Danny
Tanner, uncle Phil, Carl Winslow, andone being the bad men of television,
your Walter White's and Danny.

(01:20:16):
Trejo's misspoke, almost saidDanny, Danny, Danny Trejo.
I probably played a bad dad in something.
I don't know.
Um, first Danny I could thinkof, um, uh, Walter White, Don
Draper, and, uh, you know, menwho actively harm their families.

(01:20:40):
Alex, where's Ray comingin for you this time?

Alex (01:20:45):
Again, super, super classic Ray.
Um, There are definitely parts of thisepisode that I do not blame Ray for.
I think Marie and Frank gettinginvolved in this, uh, is completely
not his fault this time, all on Robert.
Um, I do blame him formissing his golf outing.

(01:21:07):
Uh, you know, like.
I, we get it.
Ray's horny and he takes what he can get.
Um, I don't know.
It's just, uh,
like what, what, what pisses me offabout that specifically is that like Ray,
like that was the third time in a week.
So it's like, dude, there's goingto be more, you know, she's going

(01:21:30):
to be like this when you get back,she's going to be down, you know,
I don't know, God damn it, Ray.
He needs better work life balance.
Did

Adam (01:21:41):
not mention doing anything that could be remotely categorized
as work in this episode.
He golfed and he fucked.
Screws wife three

Alex (01:21:48):
times.
So it's illegal to givehim lower than a three.
Okay.
So, plus three for screwing your wife.
Uh, I'm gonna give him like a straight,I'm gonna give him a straight five.

Adam (01:21:58):
Okay, straight five.
Mike?

Mike (01:22:01):
I'm not gonna be anywhere near as kind as that.
Oh my god.
Um, so first of all, you mentionedas a fitness junkie, he gets a zero.
Holy shit, he had terrible form.
He did not do the movements.
just all around dogshitaerobics performance.
Definitely low score for that.
But as a person, as a person, Idon't blame him necessarily for
Marie and Frank finding out becauseas Alex said, that's not his fault.

(01:22:24):
It's entirely appropriate to talk aboutthese kinds of things with your brother.
That's that's totally fine.
But, um, at the end ofthe day, he does just try.
He's so So, so deeply suspicious andmistrusting of, uh, of, um, Debra.
Debra.
His

Adam (01:22:41):
wife's name is Debra.

Mike (01:22:43):
Thank you.
I got stuck for a second there.
He also doesn't, uh, he also embarrassesher by going to this, this place
of workout, this exercise place.
You know what I mean?
This place of workout.

Adam (01:22:56):
I got my place of work and I got my place of workout.
One day I hope they are the samething like they are for Nick Bronson.

Mike (01:23:03):
Mm hmm.
Uh, yeah.
Um, but yeah, he, he straight upembarrasses her, breaks the fucking
poor guy's boombox, and I mean, hewas very, he didn't make Ray pay.
He should have made Ray pay.
He was just like, oh,you're here for the class?
Cool.
He didn't like, he didn't like, oh, yougotta check in with the guy at the front?
The guy was so nice to himand he destroyed his boombox

(01:23:23):
and ruined it for everybody.
That alone is such a dick move.
And then he gets home and immediatelystarts like, Kind of being a dick
and implying that that Deborahowes him when she walks in he's
like yeah Yeah, it was great.
You want to have sex?
I don't know didn't make didn't love it.
I'm giving him a three

Adam (01:23:43):
Okay, I'm more inclined to be at Mike's end of the spectrum here.
I think Yes, I can't blame him forMarie and Frank, I can't blame him
for telling Robert, I can't blamehim for feeling insecure about it.
I blame him for, um, I don't reallycare about him missing Yes, it
was inconsiderate as a friend,but I'm not gonna dock him too

(01:24:05):
much for missing the golf outing.
I'm really going to focus oninterrupting the class, being smug
about the class at the start, andthen flaming out and, you know, making
the class harder for other people bybumping into them, being an asshole,
falling over, breaking the boombox.
Dick move.

(01:24:25):
And yeah, like you said, Mike,Nick Bronson was so kind to him.
Yeah, to not make him pay for the boombox.
I'll give Ray a little bit of credit forthen proactively bringing a boombox in.
think it's weird.
I mean, it's not too, I get thesense that he was, you know, joking
about being excited about thewoman instructor, but I don't know.

(01:24:49):
The whole thing felt, I don't ever wantto see Ray in that aerobics studio again.
I did not like aerobics.
That's kind of too close to Arabic.
A ra bics.
A ra bics Ray.
Uh,
A ro bics Ray.
I didn't like that Ray.

(01:25:09):
I don't know if there'sanything else I can dock him to.
And then yeah, the scene of them comingback and him Yelling at Debra about
cheating on him with him, and the wholebit of like, whipping out the Nick Bronson
brochure, putting it in front of hisface, and like, Are you in the mood now?

(01:25:30):
Like, that whole thing came acrossas very aggressive and immature,
and then smashing the trash can.
I really Can't remember, maybe we have,I, I don't remember a lot of times we've
seen Ray get physically violent like that.
I mean, yes, it's towards Trashcan.
But still, that felt likea, a different level than we
usually see Ray's hysterics at.

(01:25:52):
So I, I am gonna give him a 2.
Because I'm really not I, I didn't thinkhe comported himself too well here.

Mike (01:26:00):
You guys hear that?

Adam (01:26:02):
Hm?
You guys hear that?
No, I don't, I don't hear anything.
No, there's

Mike (01:26:05):
like, there's like some creeping and crawling and tripping
in the back of the science lab.
Creeping and crawling and tripping?
Are you sure the creature got

Adam (01:26:12):
cleared out?
I mean, the air conditioning is working,so I assume, like, I mean, what, what,
are you saying that like, The creaturejust, you know, gained the ability,
like, evolved and gained the abilityto walk on, on four legs, like, and
crawled out of the air ducts and is now,like, crawling around the building, I
think that would be pretty ridiculous,but, uh, I think, that's probably just,

(01:26:37):
you know, old pipes and stuff, but Ithink What's the, what's the barometer?
Oh, sorry.

Mike (01:26:41):
Yeah.
Uh, that, that'll be drum roll, please.
It's going to be Ray's getting a 462.
43 for this episode.

Adam (01:26:54):
Um, can I see, can you, can you show your work?

Mike (01:26:59):
Uh, yeah, right here.
You see, Mike justwrote, uh, Mike wrote D,

Adam (01:27:04):
D, D, D, D down the side of a piece of paper.

Mike (01:27:09):
Yeah.

Adam (01:27:10):
Uh, I, I think, look, like, just estimating, I think
it's probably closer to like 3.
3, but if, if, Look, you got 100on a math quiz, what do I know?
I haven't taken math at all.

Mike (01:27:22):
You better put 400 in the barometer.
I'll put, I'll put 400 in my

Adam (01:27:26):
notebook here.
Okay.
Science!
She blind, blinded me with it, actually.
Did I tell you guys that story abouthow I got blinded with science?
Ooh, it's a good one, but we,I don't think we have time.
We should probably wrap up here and,uh, Mike, you've got your church group
later, so we should get you to that.

Mike (01:27:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
And I got, they're gonna be so madat me, cause they're gonna smell
the sweat coming from a mile away.
Oh, this is gonna be rough.

Adam (01:27:50):
Okay, good luck with that.
Well, uh, anything else that wewanna plug or shall we sign off?
I think just the Baroness Zonis, right?
I mean the monthly bonus episode.
Pay life, uh, pay once.
Pay what you want, once, for lifetimeaccess, uh, to the monthly bonus episode.
We just did Scruples.

(01:28:11):
Uh, we're back at the Scruplestable, it was a good one.
We're halfway through Bowlingfor Soup's discography.
You gotta listen to findout why that's important.
Or just look at the episode titles.
Um, but we are having fun overthere, so come check it out.
We're 22 episodes into the Baroness Zonis.
It's exciting.
Best value in podcasting.

(01:28:33):
Um, but other than that,oh, and go to postfun.
org.
slash donate to get that.
Otherwise, I think we're good to justwrap it up here with our classic sign off.
Right guys?

Mike (01:28:44):
I think you're right.
I think you're right.

Adam (01:28:46):
Everybody

Mike (01:28:47):
loves

Adam (01:28:48):
Raymond!

Mike (01:28:49):
And we
love you!
Bwaaaaaaah!