TARA CANNISTRACI: From Bronx Roots to Comedy That Heals | EPISODE 13

In this episode of The BASIC Show, stand-up comedian Tara Cannistraci joins host Viktorija Pashuta to share her journey from Bronx roots and Italian heritage to becoming a touring comic with a viral online following. With a background in counseling, Tara brings empathy and sharp instincts to the stage, showing that comedy can be both hilarious and healing.

From unfiltered stories about marriage and self-worth to insights on hecklers, social media hate, and the responsibility comedians carry — Tara opens up with honesty, humor, and heart.

You’ll learn:

·       Why comedians feel a responsibility to help audiences escape and heal through laughter

·       How Tara built her career from New York clubs to national tours in Tulsa, Atlanta, and beyond

·       The role empathy and intuition play in connecting with people on and off stage

·       Why self-respect (even in sweatpants) changes how the world treats you

·       What marriage has taught her about compromise, confidence, and being truly seen

·       How to turn pain, family struggles, and vulnerability into comedy that resonates

This episode blends unfiltered comedy, life lessons, and empowering conversation about resilience, relationships, and self-respect.

🎙️ The BASIC Show is hosted by Viktorija Pashuta — Editor-in-Chief of BASIC Magazine.
📍 Recorded at The Maybourne Beverly Hills

🔗 Follow Tara: @tarajokes
 🛒 Subscribe to the print edition of BASIC Magazine: https://buybasicmagazine.myshopify.com

🌸 Flower Arrangements by @itsjustdre_visionary @_flowers_everywhere

 

Send us a text

Support the show

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Comedy will always humble you.
I moved across the country to doa show in a furniture store.
Yes.
You think you're a star and thenyou struggle for 10 years.
My dad has been, is analcoholic.
And I made very surface leveljokes about it.

SPEAKER_02 (00:16):
And

SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
I never really dug deep.
I'm gonna wear the silk pajamasto bed.
And I'm gonna, every day is aspecial occasion.
Nobody's ever too busy to makeyou a product.
When they're really interestedin you.
When they're really into you.
You have to Pick somebody who'sgonna choose you, choose you
when you're ugly.
Do

SPEAKER_00 (00:33):
you believe that if you're not looking,

SPEAKER_01 (00:36):
you're gonna find something?
We're loud, we're passionate,we're funny in our own...
I'm like, all the haters thatare commenting, I'm like, you're
helping the video go further.
When I meet people who tell methey don't have social media,
I'm like, you are my idol.

SPEAKER_00 (00:50):
They say luxury is a lifestyle.
I say it's a mindset.
And this one comes with roomservice.
Here at the Mayborn, whereEuropean charm meets California
flair, I don't just check in, Ireset.
Because real power isn't loud.
It's knowing when to ghost thenoise and draft something far

(01:14):
more lasting behind the scenes.
The Mayborn, Beverly Hills.

SPEAKER_02 (01:20):
welcome

SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
to the basic show we have here tara Oh my god, yes!
Even

SPEAKER_01 (01:44):
with your accent, that was incredible! I have
doctors born here that can't saythat.
Thank

SPEAKER_00 (01:49):
you.
I'm going to practice, KennethTracy.
Okay, I love your last name.
It was just very sexy.
Thank

SPEAKER_01 (01:54):
you.
I hated it growing up, but

SPEAKER_00 (01:56):
now I like it.
Yeah, so I want to talk abouthow we actually met.
It's such a funny story.
I went to a comedy show by Don'tTell Comedy, which happened in
the furniture store.

SPEAKER_01 (02:09):
Comedy will always Please humble you.
I moved across the country to doa show in a furniture store.
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (02:17):
And then I was thinking about you.
I'm like, oh my God, this woman,she's like petite.
She's sexy.
She's super funny.
And she's against all this mancomedian.
And I was thinking you should beon the show.
And then all of a sudden,literally like two weeks ago,
I'm walking down Beverly Hills,down the street, getting into
the store.
And I'm literally seeing you inthe store.

(02:37):
I'm like, is this Tara?
And I even forgot your name.
I'm like, I know you.
I know you.
I know you.
I want you to be on the show.
That's what we met right in thestore.

SPEAKER_01 (02:44):
So it was just, it's one of those moments where I'll
never forget.
Like, first of all, I had beengetting my hair done in the
area.
And I had not felt well allweek.
And I looked like I should nothave been on Beverly Hills.
No, you were not.
You were really cute.
It was not my finest moment.
It was like sweatpants, nomakeup on.

(03:04):
And I was filming my special thefollowing week.
And I wanted to get a belt inthat store.
It's Le Jeans.
Mm-hmm.
And, well, I think that's howyou say it.
I don't even know what the nameof the store was.
And I was like, you know what?
The store's right here.
Let me just run in.
Nobody's going to know who I am.
And I go in the store and youcome over to me so eloquently

(03:26):
and so sweet.
And you're like, I know who youare.
And in my head, I was like, thispoor woman has mistaken me for
some washed up celebrity.
No, Angelina Jolie.
Yeah, Angelina, right.
And then you said...
I saw your show and I go oh mygod she really did like she
really knows who I am and thenyou go I saw your show in the

(03:48):
furniture store and just the wayit sounds which is not to say
don't tell comedies are soincredible but it just you
didn't say don't tell you said Isaw your show in the furniture
store and in my head it justlike comedy will humble you at
every second that it can becauseit's like it doesn't make a
difference if you're doing thecomedy store if you're
headlining all over the countrylike you still perform I still

(04:10):
say yes to performing everywhereand anywhere and you mentioned
the furniture store in themiddle of Beverly Hills while I
was in my sweatpants and I waslike this is where you are in
comedy this is comedy

SPEAKER_00 (04:22):
well the furniture store was actually in Beverly
Hills too it

SPEAKER_01 (04:24):
was

SPEAKER_00 (04:25):
so it was a fancy

SPEAKER_01 (04:26):
it was a fancy I couldn't afford any of the
furniture in that store so itwas definitely it was definitely
a high end I only perform inhigh end furniture stores so if
you want me don't come at meAshley Furniture or Bob's I am
only doing name brand

SPEAKER_00 (04:39):
furniture stores we need the finest stuff no that
was incredible and so funny howsynchronicity works because I
swear I kid you not I wasthinking about you I even looked
through Instagram like you wouldbe so perfect I really want to
talk to you because I would loveto talk people with interesting
stories and you have a reallyunique story you are I mean
let's start from the beginningyou are a female comedian and

(05:00):
heavily like male dominated youknow industry how did you come
about how did you even decidelike one day okay I'm gonna be a
comedian

SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
it was even I mean when I started it was even more
male dominated you think now isa really great time for women in
comedy.
But when I first started, I wasalways drawn to it.
I always wanted to do comedy.
I think a lot of times aschildren, we have these ideas,
what we think are grandioseideas of what we want to be.
And then we get older and wethink it's not real or it's not,

(05:28):
can't actually do it or make aliving out of it.
So I kind of suppressed it alittle bit and did little shows
here and there and then went toschool and got a regular job.
But just felt like...
In me, I always felt like Iwanted to do it and then a show
came on TV called The Last ComicStanding and I was so excited
because I had loved to watchstand-up comics and I would

(05:50):
watch the show and I would startgetting anxious or anxiety
around it and I'm like, whyaren't I enjoying the show?
And I realized it was justbecause I never started it.
So I put my big girl panties on,I wrote that first five minutes
and I gotta be honest, once youget that first laugh, you're
like, this is for me.

(06:13):
And then you think you're a starand then you struggle for 10
years and get stopped in BeverlyHills to be reminded of the
furniture store show you did.
And you're like, I haven't madeit yet.
But no, I just loved it.
And I said, this is what I wannado.
And I put everything else onhold to really be laser focused,

(06:34):
to get a little, to climb up alittle faster, up the ladder
because it was hard.
I had a few veteran comics, allmen, by the way.
Actually, one woman, Miss Pat,who helped me, who saw me and
believed in me and kind ofhelped me get the next
opportunity.

(06:54):
And here I am in LA with you.
So you're originally from Bronx,right?
I'm from the Bronx.
I was born and raised in NewYork my whole life.
I still have a home in New York.
So you're in between.
I come back and forth.
When I had first run into you,you asked me if I could do that
Saturday I was like I'm on thered eye tonight I

SPEAKER_00 (07:14):
can't but this is better yeah this is great our
theme of the show is secretgarden so we would like to know
all the secrets

SPEAKER_01 (07:20):
all the secrets all the safe words and I was told I
could wear pajamas I was likethis show is for me this show is
for me

SPEAKER_00 (07:26):
yes because the previous episodes we were like
wearing 90s suits and you knowall proper I thought you know
what let's get comfortable butin the fancy pajamas and I'm
here for the fancy pajamas youlook very extremely elegant and
extremely luxurious thank

SPEAKER_01 (07:39):
you

SPEAKER_00 (07:40):
so you offer from Bronx.
Let's talk about the audience,which audience or I guess which
city is the toughest for you toperform it?

SPEAKER_01 (07:48):
You know, it's so funny because I'm so specific,
like I'm so New York Italian.
I feel like I was at anadvantage being on the East
Coast with all these shows.
And then I was getting, Istarted getting, the bigger and
the more I grew on social media,I started getting requests and
my agent and managers wereputting me in markets I normally

(08:10):
would have never I never eventhought to perform in Tulsa,
Oklahoma, Irvine, California,Atlanta, and North Carolina.
I cannot even believe I'm gonnasay this, some of my favorite
audiences.
It was so validating.

(08:32):
I think Tulsa, Oklahoma was thebiggest one where I was like,
there's no other Italians here.
nobody else even really from NewYork.
And here I was on stage and itwas just a great show and the
audience was so receptive andthey all met with me after and I
had gotten the opportunity fromanother comic who believed in

(08:53):
me, this guy Josh Wolf and itwas just one of those defining
moments where I was like okay,this is like a real career.
I'm across the country now andthere's not one particular
audience I can say was not forme.
Now granted you have a heckleror there was a situation in
Baltimore last weekend where aguy was drunk and his phone rang

(09:15):
and I was like hand it over andI picked up the phone and I
spoke to his wife and we got iton camera and I told her how
rude her husband was and but allin good fun I hope it was his
wife well it was yeah no it wasit was definitely his wife or
that or what it went reallyviral right forget it I would
have been like the Coldplayconcert right right but uh but

(09:38):
it was it was his wife and shewas a sweetheart and a great
sport and So is he.
I think in all the years I'vebeen performing, I only had one
couple recently walked out inPhiladelphia.
He was a much older guy with amuch younger woman, and I easily
mistook her for his daughter.
And he couldn't recover from it.

(10:00):
And then once he left, I waslike, oh, it was past his
bedtime, and I made a wholebunch of other jokes.
I mean, if it affected him, itmeans something was wrong.
Because if it doesn't affectyou, it's nothing.
You're sitting front row in acomedy show.
show like don't expect not tonot be you know for me not to
talk to you I really meant it inan innocent way like I was like
oh that you're not a couple likeI said it you know I guess
without thinking and which iswhat comedy is sometimes yeah

(10:24):
the best comedy is when you'reunfiltered and he couldn't he
couldn't hack it but theaudience was phenomenal
everybody else in the audiencewas so great that it made it
work it made it fun

SPEAKER_00 (10:35):
I'll be so afraid to stand in the front row I did it
only one time and actually itwas a female I'm a female
comedian.
I came with my sister.
And I'm like, oh, God, they putus in the front row.
And the first comment she said,oh, these girls definitely don't
have to work.
I mean, look at my sister.
My sister's a pharmacist.
And I'm like working 24-7.
I'm like, girl, you're highlymistaken.

(10:56):
It

SPEAKER_01 (10:56):
was a compliment to say you're so beautiful you
don't have to work.
Was that the underlying

SPEAKER_00 (11:01):
concept maybe?
But we were not offended.
I mean, I hate that word.
But I was like, girl, I work alot.
I wish I don't have to work.
But...
People who are sitting in thefront row, they're scared as
hell.
What about from the comedianperspective, right?
Because you're on stage, you'rein the spotlight.
Are you actually nervous topicking on some people or it
just comes naturally to you?

SPEAKER_01 (11:22):
I think if I'm going to talk to somebody in the
audience, it happensorganically.
I don't aim to do it all thetime.
I think it also depends on theaudience.
I was in Baltimore at that showand I realized it was a really
rowdy crowd.
It was a late night show.
People had been drinking and Isaid they were a little
talkative during my opening actand I said you know what they

(11:43):
kind of I kind of reel them in Igot to make them part of this
experience so I think I have areally good barometer to know
when to talk to people and whento have them just be the
audience and I don't think I'mnervous I think that's the
easiest part for me like thecrowd work and because I love I
love people I find everybodyinteresting so I think having

(12:06):
conversations with people andfinding the humor almost
anything is like what I do sothat doesn't make me nervous
there are times especially inthe beginning where I'd be
really nervous to get on stageeven now I still sometimes get
like a butterfly and I love thatbecause I'm like wow that means
I still really care like I'm notimmune to how well I want to do
and not even do well for me Ithink and you could attest this

(12:30):
Victoria if you're going to acomedy show like you work a lot
right like we all have thingsgoing on in our lives people who
are sitting in those seats aretrying to escape something
they're trying to have a goodtime forget what's going and
just laugh.
So I feel that sense ofresponsibility.
It's like a weight on me.
It's like, I want to do my jobwell for them.

SPEAKER_00 (12:49):
You know, you're absolutely right.
Because going back to thefurniture store.

SPEAKER_01 (12:52):
This is never, this show is never going to, I'm
never going to live it down.
Thank you, Don't Tell Comedy.
I am now known as the furniturestore comedian.

SPEAKER_00 (13:04):
Going back to the fancy furniture store.
I remember I was like kind ofdepressed and I was so sad.
And I thought like, What's thething that will actually bring
me up and just set me in a goodmood?
And that was the first thing.
I want to see a comedy show.
And then you don't realize howmuch impact you have on ordinary
people's lives.
You think, okay, you may bestressed.
It's your livelihood.

(13:26):
But just from my perspective,no.
It's almost like a life-changingexperience.
You go there.
You feel so great.
You meet people.
And the furniture store willstay for the rest of my life
with me.
That experience, I mean...
I can never forget that.
It was a good show.
Yeah.
So in a sense, do you think you,I wanted to ask you about your

(13:46):
background because beingcomfortable in front of people
and also the ability to read theaudience, I would say it's
either you have to be a witch oryou have to be like a
psychiatrist.
I have

SPEAKER_01 (13:56):
a degree in counseling.

SPEAKER_00 (13:58):
I thought so, right?
I thought there would besomething.
I do

SPEAKER_01 (14:01):
have a degree in counseling.
I was actually a schoolcounselor at one point.
No way.
Can you imagine the advice thosekids got?
No.
The hard one.
Yeah, I'm a very I do have thatlike sixth sense about me.
Recently, a woman came to myshow and she was really excited
to meet me.
She ran into me beforehand andasked me if she could take a

(14:23):
picture.
But I noticed there wassomething off about her.
And she said, oh, can I get apicture with you?
My husband's coming.
Can you wait?
I said, relax.
I'm not in a rush.
The show's not going to startwithout me.
We'll wait for your husband.
We'll get a picture.
And I said to myself, somethinghas happened to this woman or
she's going through something.
like I just kind of knew it andthen after my show she came over

(14:44):
to me we took another pictureand she said I'm going to
message you on social media Ihad a great time I'm going to
message you and about three dayslater I got a message from her
and she said 13 years ago my sonpassed away and I have not
allowed myself the ability toenjoy life out of guilt and it's

(15:06):
been a real strain on mymarriage and my husband and I
found your comedy online and Iworked through with my therapist
coming to a live show and it wasone of our first nights out.
First of all, I'm like sobbing,right?
And it's really important to getthose stories and not that all
of them have to be tragic.
People have said to me, I hadthe worst day or my daughter's

(15:29):
engagement got broken up withand I was like, I'm never gonna
laugh again.
My daughter's heart is brokenand I came to your show and I
laughed.
It could be simple.
It doesn't have to be somethingso tragic but I think we do have
to find meaning in what we doAnd for me, being a counselor
and then going full-time intocomedy, I felt like the majority
of my job for so long is likesocial media.

(15:50):
And like Instagram is not asfulfilling as like helping
someone.
So when you find out you reallyare in your own way helping
people, it's like, okay, I coulddo this a little longer.
I could stay in this game if I'mreally doing something that's
like helping other people.

SPEAKER_00 (16:07):
Absolutely.
Have you ever thought...
did it ever cross your mind thatwhat you do might not be
important as other jobs?
In a sense, right?
It's like in the fashion world,the entertainment world, you do
something which you love, right?
Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 (16:21):
people think, I'm like, this is so self-centered.
This is so like, I'm on stagewith a mic and it's all about
me.
And I'm like, no, I swear it'sall about the audience.
I mean, I do feel fulfilleddoing it.
And of course, I want to befunny.
I want to know that other peoplethink I'm funny.
You told me, if somebody saidyou could have one compliment in
your whole life, you'rebeautiful, you're funny, I'd be

(16:42):
like, funny.
I wanna be known.
Even when I was single and guyswould come up to me after a show
and they would try and pick meup, I'd be like, what's your
favorite joke?
What was your favorite joke thatI said?
I cared more about what youthought of my comedy than my
physical appearance.
But a lot of times, I need thereto be meaning in what I do.
And fashion is so important tothe climate and culture of where

(17:05):
we come from or how we exist orpast times or how we feel good
about ourselves.
I feel better in these pajamas,you know, like.
But you look fabulous.
And I just did a video because Iwent through my closet soon
after I saw you.
I think the weekend I got backfrom seeing you in that fancy
Beverly Hills store and Iprobably put six big garbage

(17:27):
bags full of clothes and said,I'm not wearing the ripped
sweatpants anymore.
I'm not just hanging around in,I'm gonna wear the silk pajamas
to bed and I'm gonna, every dayis a special occasion.
Doesn't mean I have to be deckedto the nines, but I want to feel
good in my clothes.
And fashion is such an importantpart of feeling good about

(17:48):
ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 (17:49):
Not for somebody else, but for you.
For me.

SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
Listen, I realize this now, married and with my
husband for almost 10 years,they don't notice shit.
Can I say that?
They don't notice anything.
He doesn't notice if my manicurematches my toes.
He doesn't know if, you know, Icould be dressed to the nines
and he'd be like, you want tostay in tonight?
And I'd be like, no! Three hourspreparation.
my hair done and makeup on likebut I could have no makeup on

(18:15):
sweatpants my hair could bedirty and he's like let's go out
and I'm like no I don't I wantyou to showcase me the one the
one day a week I don't look likea complete mess they don't see
what we see and it also even ifthey do it's not as important
what you what matters the mostis what you see and for me it's
like I want to feel good in theclothes that I'm in I want to

(18:37):
feel good with my hair done acertain way I want to invest in
myself that way

SPEAKER_00 (18:42):
you know interesting you say that because once you
start treating yourself that wayyour surroundings will change
the attitude of other peopletowards you will change because
you respecting yourself youtreating yourself that way right
if you treat yourself okay i'mjust gonna wear sweatpants
that's fine you're comfortablebut don't expect to get you know
different treatment from peoplewhen you are dressed because it

(19:03):
all comes with within and

SPEAKER_01 (19:05):
listen even if it's sweatpants i want them to be
nice sweatpants i wanteverything i wear to feel nice
and and look good.
It doesn't mean a price tag.
You know, I found really qualityclothes at a great price point.
There are certain things I'mreally gonna splurge on because
I feel good in them.
And to me, that's reallyimportant.
So I think fashion is so big inmaking people feel good about

(19:26):
themselves.
So how would

SPEAKER_00 (19:28):
you

SPEAKER_01 (19:28):
spoil

SPEAKER_00 (19:28):
yourself or

SPEAKER_01 (19:28):
how do you spoil yourself?
For me, like my biggest thingsare like manicure, pedicure,
massage, facial, skincareproducts.
I'm a skincare junkie I haveevery cream ever made to man I
will try any treatment laserlike I I am obsessed with

(19:50):
skincare products getting myhair done that to me is my real
splurge and then now that I'vebasically thrown away all of my
clothes I gave them away becausethey had some really great
clothes in there that I I didthat like I don't want do I
really want to wear this well amI I held up every piece of
clothing like am I going to feelgood in this no

SPEAKER_00 (20:08):
maybe just emotionally some clothes you get
emotionally old, right?
Yes.
They may be good clothes, butemotionally you're not there
anymore.
And they may

SPEAKER_01 (20:15):
be emotionally good feeling for somebody else.
Somebody else who got thoseclothes may love the new clothes
that they have.

SPEAKER_00 (20:22):
It's just not you anymore.
It's just

SPEAKER_01 (20:24):
not me anymore.

SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
So what is Tara's style right now?
Oh,

SPEAKER_01 (20:27):
that story you found me in, I shopped.
She's a Tara too, the designer'sTara Rudan, I believe her name
is.
I love like the cute cropjackets.
I love the big pants, but I I'vealways loved that.
I'm not a real dress person.
Like even when I got married, Iwas like, can I get away with
wearing a jumpsuit?

SPEAKER_00 (20:47):
So speaking of your wedding, I researched, did you
get married in the Bronx Zoo?
I did.
We want to know all the details.
I did get married

SPEAKER_01 (20:56):
at the Bronx Zoo.
Did you postpone it like fivetimes or something?
I did postpone it five times.
Not because I had secondthoughts.
No, just kidding.
I postponed it because myoriginal wedding date was June
20, 2020.
And New York City...
was not having a 200 personwedding in any venue in 2020 or

(21:17):
2021.
So my initial date was June20th, 2020.
Then I think from there we wentto October 16th, 2020.
Then we went to June 27th, 2021.
Then we went to September 26th,2021.
And none of these dates equatedto me feeling comfortable enough
to bring everybody I know andlove into a room together when

(21:38):
we really still weren'tcompletely sure was going on and
there were too many guidelinesyou know people you know have to
have a dance like a marks on thedance floor where they can dance
it just wasn't so we waited thetwo years and had the party we
planned two years wow almost twoyears to the day yeah June 25th
we ended up doing it and it wasso I very proud to be from the

(22:01):
Bronx I feel like the Bronx hasa real negative stigma to it so
tell us more I've never been

SPEAKER_00 (22:07):
to Bronx where's your accent so I'm originally
from Latvia okay but my heritageis from Ukraine my parents are
Ukrainian but they immigrated toLatvia years ago during the
Soviet time so I was born inLatvia so I'm kind of like a
psychopath aren't we all I'msaying that I speak Russian but
I ethnically I'm Ukrainian but Iwas born and grew up in Latvia I

(22:28):
can say меня зовут Тара wow verygood очень хорошо

SPEAKER_01 (22:32):
I don't know what you said but yeah

SPEAKER_00 (22:34):
no you said your name is Тара I

SPEAKER_01 (22:36):
love that you have actually a perfect accent thank
you I took it in high school ohreally Everybody else got to
take Spanish.
They put me in Russian.
That's right.
And all I can say is my name is.
You could probably look a littlebit like, you know, Eastern
European.
Yeah, I could take Eastern.
I get Eastern European.
I can get that.
I get Persian sometimes.
I get asked Spanish.
I've gotten Jewish.

(22:56):
I've gotten, believe it or not,because of the New York
Italians, sometimes very

SPEAKER_00 (23:00):
similar.
So how would you describe Bronxborn American Italian?
What does it mean to you?
What is it?
It

SPEAKER_01 (23:10):
was.
It's the reason why I do, Imean, everything, my whole
personality was from myupbringing.
I was in a very Italian-Americanneighborhood.
I think we were also, there wereAlbanian at the time, was also
very similar in culture.
We lived together.
But my whole personality comesfrom being like this big mouth

(23:37):
New York Italian, which is whatwe are.
We're loud.
We're passionate.
We're funny in our own right.
Yeah, we do.
We have all these, you know, Ialways say I joke with my hands.
But I thought that was going tolike almost pigeonhole me in
comedy because I was like, andyou don't realize how many New
York Italians moved out of NewYork and live all over the

(23:59):
country and how many people sayto me now when they come to see
my shows and I'm like, I can'tbelieve there's this many
Italians in, you know, NorthCarolina or wherever I am,
Charlotte.
and it's how many people go youremind me of home and so I think
that instead of hindering mebeing a New York Italian is

(24:20):
probably the reason why I'mgaining

SPEAKER_00 (24:23):
success you know I'm a little bit jealous to be
honest with you because I feelyou have that community right
you have a community whosupports you for me being like a
cosmopolitan I don't see like ifI'm on the show like Latvia like
yeah she's from Latvia you knowit's like sometimes like damn
like I wish I could have like mycommunity like my people who
would be of the same culture andinstead me and cheer me up so I

(24:45):
think I mean I assume there mustbe a really great feeling to
have people who cheer you upbecause you're coming from the
same cultural you

SPEAKER_01 (24:52):
know what it is there is something about it that
people when people say thank youfor representing us I'm like us
right it's already a communityit's a community and I go wow I
it also added to theresponsibility I felt to not
mess up you know and to bereally funny it's like there are
people that feel I'mrepresenting them.
I never even thought of it thatway until people started telling

(25:16):
me that.

SPEAKER_00 (25:17):
Well, the only Italian comedian I know, and I
was a huge fan, is SebastianManiscalco.
He's like my dream stand-upcomedy guy.
He's hilarious, but in a waythat he's classy.
He's like, you know, I couldresonate with him.

SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
Which is what I love about him so much.
I equate his comedy to almostlike the movie My Big Fat Greek
Wedding.
Because people watched my BigFat Greek Wedding and as an
Italian, I was like, I totallyrelate to this.
And so I think he has arelatability factor to him.
And his physicality, the way hemoves is so relatable and funny.

(25:55):
Even if it's like completelyover the top and dramatic,
right?
It's not too over the top anddramatic where it's goofy.
It's almost like, oh my God, Iknow exactly what this guy is
talking about.
And so to me, I think like whenpeople say to me, which I I
think it's so funny because theyonly had they only pull from
Sebastian right that's the onlyreference we have of although

(26:17):
there's been other Italiancomedians he's so big now that
it's really just a referencepeople have they'll go you're
the female Sebastian which islike the biggest compliment but
at the same time I'm like feelbad for him that that's the
that's the comparison he gets nobut it's just we are so
different I guess in in comedybut I guess not I guess people
see and hear that and like youknow you know find it you

SPEAKER_00 (26:41):
know the attention to detail is like my sock take
this plane into the pacific yeahyes yes he's hilarious I'm like
yeah that's true you know it'snoticing the little things and
that's

SPEAKER_01 (26:52):
what comedy is

SPEAKER_00 (26:53):
right without being vulgar though right

SPEAKER_01 (26:55):
and it's just being observational I'm not really a
big you know I don't curse a lotI don't a lot of my comedy I
don't want to say I don't Idon't I don't like kind of I
have find the finally line ofwhere it goes too far I make
references that are funny aboutyou know maybe sex to a certain

(27:16):
degree but it's not like I'm nota dirty comment it's not gross
right I'm not I like that so Ithink and that's really probably
a big key to success in comedybecause a lot of people come to
see me now and they buy ticketsfor their parents or they buy
tickets for their kids which islike a really good thing if
you're making it a family affairI can't make it too awkward for
you right so it's like butthat's a great observation and

(27:41):
that's what we do comics observeevery

SPEAKER_00 (27:43):
day so that was actually my next question you
absolutely have to be you knowobsessed with little details do
you make how do you create yourjokes do you make little notes
do you pay attention do theycome to you like impromptu how
do you yeah

SPEAKER_01 (27:58):
like my first of all sometimes I'm like I have to get
better at writing these noteslike I looked at my notes in my
phone and they were like I haveno idea what I was trying to say
here like I'll just get like oneword to be like birds and yeah
birds, necrophilia.
I'm like, whoa, where was Igoing?
What was the idea here?
But, so I have to get better atthat.
But I do think pulling, whatpeople say, and I'll tell any

(28:21):
new comic who wants to start, isyou start with yourself.
Because that's the subject youknow the best.
And you dig really deep into whoyou are.
Because that's going to relateon other levels to other people.
Like, I wasn't talking aboutbeing a New York Italian.
And that ended up being, Ididn't do that until like, 10
years into comedy.

(28:41):
Meanwhile, that was the secretsauce the whole time.
No, no pun on sauce.
But like, that was really thatwas the key to becoming more
popular.
But how vulnerable are you readyto get for your jokes?
So that's funny that you saythat because my dad, but has
been is an alcoholic.
And I made very surface leveljokes about it.

(29:03):
And I never really dug deep.
I made it like everything'sokay.
Don't be too uncomfortable.
Everything's okay.
But I would make fun of him butI would do it in a way that was
like safe and now I'm kind ofgetting to the point in my
career where I'm not playing sosafe and I'm becoming a little
more vulnerable about who I amand where I come from still

(29:23):
making fun of it I don't wantanybody to leave a comedy show
being sad but I'm being a littlebit more honest about it and
that for some people is reallyrefreshing because some people
go oh I had a dad like that or Ihad a you know grandma I had I
had that similar

SPEAKER_00 (29:37):
experience but how much volume How vulnerable are
you willing to get for hype?
You know, for hype or for likes?
Do you believe the comedy showsshould be so open and honest and
raw just to get that attention?

SPEAKER_01 (29:52):
No, you better be funny.
And I think Jerry Seinfeld saidsomething like the more daring
or like, I forget the exact wordhe used, the funnier it better
be.
People are coming to a comedyshow.
People are coming to, like Isaid, escape.
So if I'm going to talk aboutsomething really raw and honest,

(30:13):
I'm going to do it in a way thatmakes you know I am okay and
this is funny.
I'm not into the, I'm not doinga spoken word performance.
I'm not doing poetry.
I'm not doing anything dramaticother than my mannerisms, which
may be a little extreme.
I do believe comedy should befunny.

(30:34):
And also not protective of ofcertain things.
I think there's a real fine linewith cancel culture, which I
think there's a real pushbacknow from it.
Because we realize we're allthere for the same reason, which
is to have a good time.
And any seasoned comic is gonnamake fun of somebody in the

(30:54):
right way.
So.
There's always gonna be somebodywho's gonna get offended by

SPEAKER_00 (30:58):
something.
Then don't come to a comedyshow.
Then don't come.
So is there

SPEAKER_01 (31:02):
anything that can offend you personally?
No, I think personally I getoffended when people make fun of
the or I think that ItalianAmericans are like the one
ethnicity that people reallydon't mind leaning in on and
making fun of and they they haveus look outlandish and sometimes
you know uneducated or they makefun of us like we're these

(31:25):
goombas which some of us areright like what is a goombas
like like like you know justlike kind of like a ratchet yeah
like just like you know like alower class like they have a car
loud mama saying like Sopranos.
Sopranos, so is it the BronxItalian mobs?
Well, that was Jersey Italian,but very similar.

(31:47):
Yeah, Sopranos was Belleville.
But, and everybody laughs aboutit.
You know, there was a footballplayer on the Giants who was
Italian and everybody was makingfun of him and, you know, and
it's okay.
But I think today, everybody'sso hypersensitive and so
protective about hurting anyother ethnicity's feelings that
they would never do it, youknow, publicly like that.

(32:09):
whereas Italians we're stillgreat sports about it and we
still aren't getting offended soeasily I

SPEAKER_00 (32:16):
feel like as humans we always need to be bitching
about something all the time Iused to joke and say if tomorrow
we announce that there will be awar between vegetarians and
carnivores there's gonna be aflag a team yeah people go hard
freaking rallies and things likethat so we have to be aware you
know things we hear and how itaffects us right

SPEAKER_01 (32:37):
and also like take a second before you're offended.
You know, like there's alwaystwo sides to a certain scenario.
Ask why actually defends you.
Why are you being why are you soupset by this?
You know, even somebody gotannoyed in the comments when I
answered the cell phone.
They're like, but if a malecomic did that to a woman in the
audience, it wouldn't be thesame.

(32:58):
And I was like, you'recomplaining about how offended
people get and you're beingoffended.
Like, just it's, it's I answeredthe guy's phone.
He was a great sport.
She was a great sport.
Why did you have to turn itaround?
and say, but if you were a manand the guy was a woman, that's
not what happened.
Why are you so offended by that?
So yeah, people will find a way.

(33:20):
I did, I'll leave you with this,I did a, also I talk really
fast.
Am I talking really fast?
No, no, you talk great.
I love this.
The

SPEAKER_00 (33:27):
speed is perfect.

SPEAKER_01 (33:28):
I did a video.
I was on my honeymoon in Sicilyand there was a beautiful golf
course in Sciacca, Sicily.
And my husband said, why don'tyou come I want to shoot a few
rounds.
I said, all right, I'll come.
It's my honeymoon, right?
I'll do what you know.
I'll drive over the cart withyou.
And it was beautiful.
I mean, there was wine.

(33:49):
There was pizza on the course.
There was things for me to do.
But I said, I'm going to take myphone out.
I said, and I'm going to make afew.
I'm going to video us doing it.
And I made simple observationsabout golf.
Are you familiar with golf?
Because I wasn't.
Yeah, a little bit.
But I would just say things tohim.
Old people sport.
Yeah, I was like, why are you?
I'd be like, why are you?

(34:09):
hitting so many balls or whycan't you just hit the ball
straight?
That's what she said.
But I would just state theselittle simple things.
This video went so viral.
I mean maybe now acrossplatforms maybe 20 million
views.
Like that's how crazy this videowent.
And people who loved comedy orloved that I was being like an
Italian wife on the golf coursewere like this is hilarious.

(34:31):
This is so funny.
And then PGA golf memes repostedit.
And the hate I got on this reelwhere you can clearly see I'm a
comedian.
My husband's hitting the ball inthe thing and I'm like,
two-pointer, foul ball.
I'm screaming completely idioticthings.

(34:53):
Other sports references, I'mcomplaining, I'm laying out on
the field trying to get the sun.
I'm like, where's the spot?
It said golf and spa.
And people in the comments werelike, I would rap it.
a nine iron around her forehead.
Her husband should drive thegolf cart off a cliff.

(35:15):
The comments were so visceral.
They were so mean.
And I

SPEAKER_00 (35:20):
was like...
But have you been on the otherside?
Have you actually ever in yourlife under fake profile tried to
comment something negative?
No.
So I tried under my profile andI remember I had a bad day.
I tried to type in.
I'm like, okay, come on, holdon.
I erased it.
I'm like, this is not what Iwant to put my energy into,
right?
Speaking of those haters, theyhave to question what they're

(35:42):
spending their lifetime minutes,precious minutes on.

SPEAKER_01 (35:45):
100%.
Like there are times peoplewrite like diatribes and I'm
like, you have so much time onyour hands.
Or I'll respond to people.
I'll correct their...
I'll like do...
I mess with people back a littlebit.
I should also ask myself why I'mgetting so offended by somebody
else being offended.
It has the algorithm.
It does.
I'm like, all the haters thatare commenting, I'm like, you're

(36:07):
helping the video go further.
Like, I don't know if...
I'll say that to some people.
I'll be like, thank you so muchfor all of these mean words.
They've helped the video gofurther.
Like, I don't even know ifthey're understanding what I'm
saying, but I just keep throwingit back.
I put hearts in the comments sothat the...
algorithm thinks I'm sayingsomething nice.

SPEAKER_00 (36:23):
And they'll see more of your content.
Yes, and I'm like, yes, I

SPEAKER_01 (36:26):
respond to everyone, good, bad, and ugly.
And I've really become lessoffended now.
Like when I see the meancomments, it's hard.
When you first, like you'revulnerable online.
People will make fun of the wayI look, the way I sound, but you
know, nobody's safe from it.
People will make fun of you anychance they get.
They will find the one thingthey think you're insecure about

(36:47):
and go for it.
I don't, it doesn't faze meanymore.
If I read too many a day I'll goI don't want this subconsciously
in my head so sometimes I'llsteer away from the comments but
for the most part I go rightback

SPEAKER_00 (37:00):
do you think by getting negative comments it
means you made it I mean it'skind of like you made it you
know if you are doing thingsthat nobody's interested about
nobody's gonna

SPEAKER_01 (37:11):
comment if I've created this much passion right
good or bad it's where

SPEAKER_00 (37:18):
something's working but I must I can't even imagine
Imagine being a public person.
And we're not robots, right?
Like, for example, recentcampaign with Sydney Sweeney,
right, the American genes, andso much like positive comments,
negative comments.
And then I saw she posted avideo crying saying, even though
she's a big star, it affectsher, right?
We're humans.

(37:38):
And I think it's important toreally spread the message that,
okay, you're sitting behind thescreen, right behind the phone,
nobody sees you.
But your words that you justtyped in, you know, and forgot
about them might influence andimpact somebody to the point
that, you know, they may commitsuicide.
or there were cases.
There has been.
Cyberbullying is

SPEAKER_01 (37:54):
a huge, so many, and especially young kids have
killed themselves throughcyberbullying.
And just because somebody's at acertain level of success or fame
doesn't mean they're immune tothat.
You know, I think even theactress in Light Lotus really
came down on SNL because of howthey made fun of her teeth and

(38:15):
her aesthetic.
Meanwhile, she's beautiful, butthat didn't stop her from being
upset about it.
It's like at the end of the day,before you hit those keywords,
remember you're speaking toanother human being with a
heart, with parents, with kids,whatever it may be.
I think we feel so safe and sonobody can touch me as I put

(38:39):
these things.
Some woman came at me reallyhard telling me that she hopes
that I can never have kids andthat if I did, a girl, that she
would die.
It was one of the worst messagesI'd ever seen.
I didn't really get upset, but Isaid, there's something really
wrong with her.
And unfortunately for her, herprofile had been made public,
and I contacted her employer.

(39:00):
I said, she works with, youknow, in an environment with
other people, and I think thatsomebody who, and I never, like,
the Italians never rat anybodyout.
She was very young, and I said,I don't think you should come
down, she's young, and I justthink that she should know that
anything she puts out there, Iused to tell this to my kids,
what you put on on social mediais gonna last with you forever.

(39:21):
Be careful with your picturesand your boyfriends that you
trust, that you do things with,that are videoing you.
What you do can live with youforever.
And in 20 years from now, youmay want to forget that you did
that.
And so I think it was just alesson for her that it's like,
you just can't come at peopleand go about your life posting

(39:41):
pictures of you at brunch withall the money you're making when
you're speaking to other peoplethe way you're speaking.
I don't know how they handledit, but they were like, we are
going to speak to her about thisbecause this

SPEAKER_00 (39:54):
is not a good look there's definitely some mental
issues have you heard about thecase where a young teenage girl
was bullied for a few years andat the end of the day she found
out it was her own mother I meansick

SPEAKER_01 (40:05):
I mean people have been catfished by their own
cousins like this social mediaas great as it is and as it's
the source of my income nowbecause I have to have my own
audience it it really there's afine line there from like really
sick and demented people toother people just trying to be

(40:25):
creative.

SPEAKER_00 (40:25):
So how do you protect yourself

SPEAKER_01 (40:28):
from that?
I mean, for me, I definitelyengage more than I should, but
I've got myself to a place whereI am no longer believing the
words that are there, right?
I know myself enough, but I'm a45-year-old woman.
30 years ago, if I was a15-year-old girl and those
comments were me, I wouldn'thave been able to handle it.

UNKNOWN (40:51):
So,

SPEAKER_01 (40:51):
So I think as parents, people have to be
really careful about what theylet their children do online.
And even adults who can't takeit, social media, with or
without it, it's not the end ofthe world.
When I go on vacation now and Iunplug, it is the happiest
times.
I mean, don't get me wrong, Ilove what I do, but being

(41:14):
unplugged sometimes is like thebest thing in the world.
When I meet people who tell methey don't have social media,
I'm like, you are my idol.
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (41:21):
this is my sister yeah she's in pharmacy i'm like
you're so lucky girl i feel likedigital detox it's like modern
luxury right you feel so freeit's an addiction yeah it is it
is especially for us people whoare in the entertainment
business right this is ourlivelihood like we communicate
with our audience it's our toolright we can't i mean we can't

(41:43):
really progress without it it'snot like you okay you remove
instagram and you know youremove instagram i'm done yeah
right you don't exist yeah

SPEAKER_01 (41:51):
It's crazy.
Yeah, I'm grateful for it in thesame, but I'm careful with it
now.

SPEAKER_00 (41:58):
So is there certain restrictions that you have in
your family?
Like, I don't know, phones, nophones at dinner?
I've been no

SPEAKER_01 (42:04):
phones at dinner now.
I've been no phones at dinner,no phones while driving, which
you think would be commonplaceor like common sense, but we
all, it's right there in the cupholder and I use it for my ways.
I use it for directions.
No, I won't pick it up now.
And after I want to get to theplace where after a certain time
at night I don't check it Ihaven't gotten to that place

(42:27):
because I've been doing somelate night posts but I want to
get to a place I would loveultimately I just spoke to a
girl this week I love engagingwith my audience people love
that I respond back to them somepeople go is this really you
responding back and I'm likeyeah it's me I'm responding back
you said something wonderful oryou've said something touching
and I want to make sure you knowI've seen you or I've heard you

(42:48):
but I would love to get to aplace where somebody else can
run it for me that's my dream mydream is to be so successful and
do all the furniture store showsthat I possibly can and you have
a clone who's gonna respond butthat I have somebody yes I wish
it could be a clone but in themeantime I'd love to hire

(43:08):
somebody to handle some of theother logistics of it for me

SPEAKER_00 (43:10):
because it could be draining it's draining to have
that much communication you know

SPEAKER_01 (43:15):
that's why when people come over to me and go
it's so meaningful what you do Igo oh thank god you know right
now I thought I was just arobot.
So what does your husband thinkabout what you do?
He's always been supportive.
He had to be.
There was no choice.
He met me.
I was a comedian.
Oh, I see.
So how did you meet guys?
I met him old school in arestaurant.
Wow.
Nobody meets that way anymore.

(43:36):
I can't believe that.
I know.
Everybody's so socially awkwardright now.
I know.
I met old school in arestaurant.
What do you think?
He asked me out and I was like,no.
Wait, so you were already out?
I was out with a friend.
Yeah.
She wanted to go out.
I was not, I was, she pulled mefrom my house.
I had jeans on, sneakers.
I was not like, you know, hairup.

(43:58):
I was like not, and we just wentearly to this restaurant at like
five o'clock.
Nobody was in there.
And by like seven o'clock, therestaurant was packed.
And he had owned the restaurantat the time.
And he had sent over dessert toour table.
And I was like, I'm notinterested in him.
And she's like, why?
I go, I'm just not, I'm notinterested in him.
And he, on the way out, Ithanked him for the dessert.

(44:19):
And he said, let me take you outsome time.
Why don't you go?
Why don't you stay?
Have a drink with me.
And I was like, I go, I go.
He goes, oh, you're a comedian.
I'll come to a show and heckleyou, which is like the worst
line you can say to a comic.
And I was like, I hate this guyalready.
Like, please don't.
He already thinks he's funny.
I'm like, oh, really?
Here's my card with no phonenumber.
It only had my email address onit.
I was like, never.

(44:39):
I'm not giving this guy mynumber.
And like 20 minutes later, I hadan email that said I left my
sunglasses there, which I had,which he thinks I did on purpose
to go back.
But I promise you I didn't.
And consciously and he had hehad like some awkward guy who
now I know is his best friendwith my sunglasses on at the bar
and he sent the picture and Isaid that's really funny and I

(44:59):
went back to get my glasses andI said okay I'll have one glass
of wine with you and

SPEAKER_00 (45:03):
that's how the love story started and that's how it
started so it's crazy do youbelieve that if you're not
looking you're gonna findsomething because obviously you
didn't prep you didn't likedress you didn't probably you
know thought you're gonna meetsomebody that definitely did not

SPEAKER_01 (45:18):
I mean listen I met you that way I've met him that
way from now on it's makeup no ijust said i was i was throwing
out all my old clothes i'm goingto get them back apparently i'm
only going to be successful infinding things when i have no
makeup on and sweatpants that'sthe best because they like you
at the worst condition

SPEAKER_00 (45:35):
you are so they see the real you you met me

SPEAKER_01 (45:37):
it was in this beverly hills i mean you look
freaking it was right on beverlyit was right in beverly there's
no makeup i promise you assureyou i was not looking my best in
a fashion store and you'retelling me you have a fashion
magazine in and I'm like what isshe is she I was like who is she
talking to right now that shewants to

SPEAKER_00 (45:57):
I recognize you right away and it's so I know

SPEAKER_01 (46:00):
who you are and I was like no she doesn't yes

SPEAKER_00 (46:03):
and I'm like the

SPEAKER_01 (46:04):
iconic and then I was almost insulted that she
recognized me looking like thatand I was like and then you said
furniture store and

SPEAKER_00 (46:10):
yeah he's like yep this is it it's gonna haunt me
forever this is and here we areyeah but it's it's interesting
because I feel maybeintentionally when we put too
much pressure we're forcedthings we kind of reject and
push the things that meant forus in a sense or maybe you just
were so comfortable you beingyourself right not pretentious

SPEAKER_01 (46:28):
I think I thought like it's a weekday at five
o'clock nobody you know like Ijust thought it was like not
gonna be anything and then Ithink too I was so I think I was
so comfortable in who I was andknew exactly what I wanted at
that point which is why I didn'tthink it was him that I was like

(46:49):
unfazed I was like I wasn't eventhough I was older and I didn't
have kids and all my friends hadbeen married the girl I was out
to dinner with was engaged Inever want it was never a goal
for me and I just figured it'sgoing to happen when it's
supposed to happen and when Imet him it was just one of those
things where I was like I hadplanned to go to a matchmaker

(47:10):
two months from when I met him Isaid I'm going to give myself
the rest of the spring and thenI do kind of want to meet
someone I it was the first timeI felt like I wanted to meet
someone and two months before Ithought I was gonna like plan
for it and like go see someoneand matchmaker and you know
pictures and fill out a profilethere it was eating lobster mac

(47:31):
and cheese

SPEAKER_00 (47:32):
wow so clearly it wasn't a love at first sight
right so what was the moment oractions or deeds that he did
that you like you know what it'slike it's it had a switch in
your mind that you actually likethis guy

SPEAKER_01 (47:45):
so the first date I thought he hated me and because
I he was just like he was, youknow, a good looking bachelor
who owns a restaurant.
And I was like, it's going to beso full of himself.
Right.
And I was like, I don't wantanything about this.
And I was just like, really, Iwas as raw as you can be, like
just myself.
Like he would say something Ididn't agree with.
And I'd be like, no, is thiswhat you say to women?

(48:05):
Because you think I was like aliterally like challenging.
I'm like, is this what you sayto girls?
Because they think you're achallenge and they want to
change you.
I don't want to change you.
I don't even like you.
Like I was just like, I don't.
This is a first date.
Like this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 (48:16):
That's why he wanted even more because he didn't
jump.
He went up.
He got up

SPEAKER_01 (48:19):
and went to the bathroom.
I texted my friends he hatesthat he's out with me whatever
this guy is probably dropping meoff right after this and he came
over to the table and I'll neverforget he kissed me on my
forehead he's like are youhaving as good a time as I am
and I was like oh nobody's everchallenged this guy before and
boy did he make a mistakebecause then I've challenged him
every day since for eight yearsbut he it was just one of those

(48:41):
things where it was like he wasso on board he was so receptive
to me being who I was and when Isaid to him there were things I
didn't like about his lifelifestyle or certain things I
said I'm never going to changethis guy's in his 40s it was he
said okay I'll make the changeslike this is when you want it
like when people come to me andsay I want to be with this guy

(49:03):
or I want to be with this womanbut this is in the way or
they're really busy right now orthey don't I'm like nobody is
too busy to pay attention Iliterally am on a I'm in LA by
myself and there's stillattention at home like there is
nobody's ever too busy to makeyou a priority when they're
really interested when they'rereally into you and I think my

(49:29):
husband had to change things andI had to change things and a lot
of times you know I would gookay this isn't a sacrifice this
is a compromise because inreturn I'm getting something and
that was kind of his mindset sowhen people go you know we can't
you know the person won't changethis or do that or I'm not
saying you have to change youridentity but like Yeah, it's

(49:51):
work and it's compromise.
It's the hardest thing I'llever...
I say it's harder than buildinga comedy career from the ground
up.
For me, being set in my ways, Iwas older when I met him.
He was older when he met me.
It's hard to change andcompromise and to share a life
with somebody.
It's the hardest thing you'reever going to do if you want a
healthy, successfulrelationship.

(50:12):
So for me, it's like there's noexcuse.
If you want it and they want it,you make it work.
There's no way you can't findthere's no way you can't find
the common ground like there'snothing there's no outside
factor that should and listenpeople have kids you know other
people have kids or blendedfamilies you want it to work

(50:34):
you'll find a way to make itwork

SPEAKER_00 (50:36):
do you believe how do how important guys looks are
to you do you believe in 610that a 10 girl always should be
with the guy who is a 6 andthat's for the research the
happiest relationship

SPEAKER_01 (50:49):
really yeah yeah well that's like me I'm a 10 and
my husband's a 6 but no if youask him he thinks he's the
better looking no I you're verybeautiful thank you but coming
from a beautiful woman that isvery nice to hear but you can't
say that because right I mean tome it's like I think appearance

(51:12):
and attraction to me is likethere's so many factors to it I
know aesthetically havingsomebody look a certain way I
was never of the mindset, andthis isn't to insult any former
boyfriend who may see this.
I never really went for like thebest looking guy.
You had to have an aura aboutyou.
You had to have like, you had tohave like, I don't know, an

(51:35):
energy of like charisma.
Like there needed to besomething about you that made me
go, oh my God, like this guy haslike, I don't know, I wanted to
feel like mesmerized almost bysomebody.
And sometimes the good lookingguys are so into themselves and
I'm like, Boring.
Because

SPEAKER_00 (51:50):
they don't have to put any effort to gain girls'
attention, right?
Usually a 10 and a 10, neverhappy.
You've never seen 10 and a 10.

SPEAKER_01 (51:57):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (51:57):
Happy relationship, right?
I

SPEAKER_01 (51:59):
feel like, you know, there are times when I've met
couples that I'm like, this isodd.
But then you speak to them andyou get to know somebody and
you're like, oh my God, thisperson is so attractive to me
right now.
Whether it be a man or a womanbecause of the way they carry
themselves or the way theydress.
I think today, especially withfashion, right?
You can make yourself you canmake a six look like a ten if

(52:22):
they're dressed right rightthat's right like there are so
many factors you're not uglyyou're just poor right oh and
here we get canceled sydneysweeney i'll be crying with you
very shortly after this episodeairs i'll be like i didn't mean
what i said i don't think petiteis pretty um i i mean i think
there's just i think everybodyhas something to them right and

SPEAKER_00 (52:45):
i don't know i think energy is so important even for
women right even if you ask theguy the most thing they would
say they're attracted to womenshe's nurturing she's charming
she has a sense of humor versusokay she's just beautiful doll
right you need to have apersonality and energy to you to
be attractive there has to

SPEAKER_01 (53:02):
be something more to you because at the end of the
day you have to sit across fromsomebody and have a conversation
you know majority especially nowand I hate when they portray
women as not sexual beings orthat it's always men want sex
that's not the case but I thinkthere's just so much more to
building a life with someone.

(53:22):
Like I saw this video the otherday and I sent it to my friend
who's dating a guy.
I don't even, she's not evendating him.
I don't know what she's doingwith him.
It's a situationship and it's sonot, it serves her zilch.
Like there's nothing that shegains from this.
And she'll say she wantssomething meaningful or like,

(53:42):
oh, I want what you have or Iwant what this person has.
And I saw this video the otherday and it's like the person you
marry may have to see youthrough the death of both of
your parents or they may have tobe there and speak for you when
you're too you know upset or youknow they may have to talk to a
doctor for you or they like pickwho like yes there's one thing

(54:03):
about attraction but like tosustain a relationship through
and grow with somebody there areso many other factors like I
have goosebumps the way you sayit it's you know you have to
pick a person who's just on yourteam at the end of the You have
to pick somebody who's going tochoose you, choose you when

(54:23):
you're ugly, because thatdoesn't just mean in ripped
sweatpants when you're having a,I get really bad PMDD, which is
like, you know, PMS on steroids.
You know, like I could be uglyin a lot of other ways other
than appearance, right?
It could be you at your worst,you sad, you upset, you know.
To me, it's like you have topick somebody that's still going

(54:45):
to say, I want what's best foryou.
I want what's best for us.
I choose you.
I choose you, I choose ourmarriage.
That's not easy to do everysingle day.
And if you're doing it withsomebody because you think
they're good looking, that'sgonna fade so quick.
That

SPEAKER_00 (55:01):
is gonna fade.
It makes you feel bad, you know,at the end of the day and makes
you value for yourself.
Like your self worth will be solow.
You wouldn't even want to, youknow, continue.
You listen,

SPEAKER_01 (55:14):
you need attraction.
I believe that.
If you're attracted to somebodywho the other the world doesn't
see, I brought home guys wherethey've been like, Like, oh,
him?
And I'm like, yeah, isn't hegreat?
And they're like, okay.
But I think

SPEAKER_00 (55:26):
confidence is what's more important in guys, right?
You can have the ugliest guy inthe room, but he'll be so
confident.
You're like, wow, this is it.
This

SPEAKER_01 (55:32):
guy.
Funny, confident.
Yes.
A little swag.
Oh, done.
I'm yours.
So to me, it's like...
There's just that's you have tobe attraction attraction has to
happen You have to be attractedto somebody that could be a
chemical thing so many otherfacets go into not just
appearance But like chemicallywe are drawn to certain people.

(55:55):
I've been in a room withsomebody I've been like, oh my
god, this guy right now is likeExuding and my friend next to me
could be like that guy You know,and I'm like, it's just a
chemical thing.
Mm-hmm.
There's you

SPEAKER_00 (56:08):
know, that's why I call it chemistry Was it like a
scientific research?
saying that a woman can pick aguy, know if that guy is for her
within the first seven seconds.
The pheromones or something.
The pheromones, the scent, thebody language.
That's what's saying before yougo on a date, actually do like a
phone call or FaceTime and youwill know right away.
I

SPEAKER_01 (56:26):
think women pick up on those things way more.
We're such a, sorry not to saythis, but we're such more
socially, emotionallyintelligent in those areas.
I think naturally, by nature weare.
So I think those are where...
is, you know, I think men firstsee just the

SPEAKER_00 (56:45):
physicality.
And I think sometimes,especially nowadays, I feel,
person, that women don't trusttheir instinct.
We get so distracted that whenwe have that ick, that feeling
like, you know, it's going to befine, which I think we should
listen to it more.
If you feel something is wrong,then probably something

SPEAKER_01 (57:01):
is wrong.
Trust your gut.
Every single time I met a personthat I didn't like immediately
and then gave them a secondchance, I almost always
regretted it.
was always like this personshowed me who they were or I got
that feeling like there would betimes where somebody be really
nice to me and be like I don'tlike this person in my in my gut

(57:22):
I knew it and then eventuallyI'd be like this is why I don't
like this person and I think nowas I get older because I'm wiser
and I'm so protective of likethe energy around me I've
limited access some people don'thave that I don't care how close
I was once was once with themeven if It's family.

(57:42):
I limit my access to people.
I limit their access to me, Ishould say, because I don't want
to be around toxicity.
I don't want to be aroundnegative energy.
I work so much that now when Ido have the time to be around
people, I want it to be reallyquality time and quality people.
And if you, of all people, areinvesting in your partner who's

(58:06):
not a quality person, the restof your life is miserable.
there's no happiness becauseyou're attracted to someone.
I'm like, grow up, grow up.
You're attracted to him.
He doesn't, he doesn't take you.
You haven't gone out to dinner.
What are you attracted to?
Guy hasn't come to your house.
You haven't been outside withhim.

(58:27):
Like, you know, find what'simportant to you.
That's the biggest thing.
Write down what, what the mostimportant things are to you.
And then if, if you findsomebody that can't share the
core values that you have, moveon unless you can use somebody
you know you can just you knowhow

SPEAKER_00 (58:48):
do they say I think there's a word for it it's
called pro-manning we were justtalking about it earlier
pro-manning it's like you kindof probing if you have the same
values long term to be in arelationship with that person so
you put attraction second butyou see if your values are alive
if your goals are aligned that

SPEAKER_01 (59:05):
should be the biggest thing trust your gut
have a feeling and attractionabsolutely but like not if you
want to long relationship noteven marriage even if you just
want like a healthy relationshipit should not be there should be
important like key factors thatmake you go okay I can move
forward with this person listenif you just want like a lot of

(59:27):
people say oh my 20s were forthis my early 30s I was like I
just want I don't want arelationship I want if I'm
attracted to somebody I'm goingto go off that feeling but
that's why I froze my eggs at 34because I was like I can't have
this idiot knock me up rightlike I I'm not with him for his
jeans.
So it's like, so I'm like, Idon't think this is going to

(59:48):
happen to me in my 30s.
I want a comedy career.
But yeah, no, I don't.
There's no dating foolishlyafter a certain point.

SPEAKER_00 (59:58):
So I want to test your gut.
Okay.
And I want to play a little gamesince we spoke about the gut.
And I want to test yourinstincts.
Okay, here we go.
A little game.
What we're going to do for thosewho cannot see us, we have a
blindfold that we're going touse and showcase you exotic

(01:00:19):
objects.
And you have to guess what thoseexotic objects.
Exotic, exotic objects.
Exotic objects because the themeis the secret garden.
The secret garden.
And speaking of femininity andthe instinct and your gut, we
want to see how well your gutworks for you.
All right, the secret garden.

(01:00:39):
All right, let's see.
Going

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:41):
back to the Adam and Eve day.
here guys

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:42):
this is the show time all right I mean

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:49):
you have this girl coming in this is I am a family
comic I don't know what you haveme doing here

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:54):
we're testing your basic instincts on the basic
show all right let's see I'mready it's good we're doing it
at the end of the show so not tomess up your beautiful makeup

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:09):
okay luckily this is my last podcast of the day so my
mascara can run all right so youcan go crazy all

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:15):
right so we have here we go he's gonna come
closer to you and he has a fewinteresting objects okay and
just you know relax um dive intoyour instinct your feminine
following my gut here followingyour gut so we're gonna show you
object number one what do youthink i'm not sure we're gonna

(01:01:36):
give it to you okay so what isit well

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:42):
My good girl instinct is going to say it's a
banana.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:46):
Wow.
Ten out of ten.
Look at you.
And it's matching your pajamas,by the way.
What's your

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:54):
name?
Amin.
Amin.
I was going to say it was yourfinger, but...
Your third leg.
Okay.
This is a leaf, a flower.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:05):
Yes.
It's a beautiful flower.
It's a flower.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:08):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:09):
Good.
Wow.
So far, your instinct Did notbetray you.
Let's see.
All right, let's get to a littlebit more complicated one.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:17):
What do you think that is?
I think this is...
See, I'm observational, right?
As a comedian, I'm always seeingthings.
So this to me is the sugarcookie that I saw in the plate.
Wow.
Was it shaped as a heel?
Close.
It's related to fashion.

(01:02:38):
Okay.
I know that it was definitelysomething as a sugar cookie the
shape um very close

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:50):
uh definitely fashion related i don't

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:54):
i

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:54):
don't look at you paying attention you could be a
spy i i i literally scan theroom i

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:00):
literally thought it was it's a blow dryer i actually

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:05):
could be if we didn't know what that is
actually you

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:07):
you you

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:08):
okay so it's a dress

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:10):
oh

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:10):
okay yeah it's a dress i wouldn't You were pretty
close.
I'm surprised to guess it's acookie.
Okay.
Well, I saw them.
Yeah.
Wow.
Look at the observation.
Okay.
That's the skill of the truecomedian, right?
To pay attention to details.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:22):
Okay.
Well,

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:25):
okay.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:26):
No.
Put your hand down and pet it.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:35):
Is this, is this you?
Yeah.
Is this a shoe?
It is a shoe.
Am I squeezing?

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:41):
Okay.
Wow.
Bravo.
Wow.
10 out of 10.
So you can take off yourblindfold now, Tara.
You did amazing with our veryextremely exotic object.
The cookie is the thing I'm themost proud of.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:54):
It's only because I haven't had lunch.
They don't feed me here at BasicMagazine.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:59):
Well, we have some desserts.
I'm going to have a cookie now.
I'm going to have a dresscookie.
And you deserved it so well.
Thank you.
Well, thank you.
so much of being on The BasicShow.
Thank you.
It turned out way better than Ianticipated.
I didn't even ask even onequestion.
Oh, no.
But I feel

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:14):
like we thought you were going to be a drag.
So I wrote all these questionsdown because we're like, this
girl looked unhoused in BeverlyHills when I saw her in a
fashion store.
Poor girl's doing comedy showsin furniture

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:26):
stores.
Let's just get her in here.
I feel bad for her.
You know what?
The questions I had were aboutdating related, but I feel we
went so much deeper on thedifferent and level that many
women, many people would relateto and go back into their own
experience and ask the rightquestions.
I feel it's important to knowwhich question to ask.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:45):
Yeah.
Well, that was great.
Honestly, I felt like theconversation flowed.
I'm like, did she look down onher paper or are we just
talking?

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:51):
No.
I mean, it's all

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:52):
here.
I mean, I couldn't even come upwith a better question.
I'm a fast talker too.
So if anybody has any questions,we're going to put subtitles in
what I've said.
Subtitles.
New York Italian.
We're just going to put

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:01):
words here.
Italian subtitles.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you did absolutely great.
It was such a pleasure.
Thank you.
Thank you for being on The BasicShow.
Thank you for having me.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
You too.
I'm going to keep the

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:09):
pajamas you gave me now.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:10):
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
You can.
It's actually a really beautifulbrand from Moldova.
So all the way shipped for thisshow specifically.
Thank you.
Well, bye.
Bye.