March 13, 2024 • 55 mins
In this episode of The Beautiful Side of Grief we are exploring war-torn Bagdad to the sunny caribbean, and many countries in between through the eyes of a diplomat's wife, who had to struggle with infertility, pregnancy loss, parental loss, and fast exits - all the while re-adapting to strange new lands, & dealing with a complex chronic condition. Yep, that sounds a pretty heavy load - though in the midst of this, Vashti Kanahele also discovered fabulous new cultures, places off the beaten track, and a resilience and strength to take control of her health. Vashti takes us into this world that she rediscovered through the writing of her book Passports and Parasites.
We discuss...
- the value of community when living far away from family and loved ones
- having serious health concerns in foreign countries
- how life can take it's toll without you realising
- and finding your way through chronic conditions back to health through fnctional medicine
This is a fabulous episode that you won't want to miss!
Vashti's Bio
My life story encompasses adventure, living abroad, resilience, and healing from complex chronic illness. Listeners who love or are interested in adventure, international living, and travel would find my interview interesting. My story also speaks to those looking for hope in their fertility journey and healing from complex chronic illnesses, specifically Lyme disease and Hashimoto's, and my journey to functional medicine. Listeners interested in diplomatic life will find my story appealing since I have spent the last 15 years married to a diplomat.
Quote:
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And so it really takes off in Baghdad,and you find me, you know, flying on
(00:04):
a helicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it could be one parttravel, adventure story, but I've really
wove my life our life into it and itbecame the story of me of us my family and
You know is also like the story of me andmy best friend who have not lived close
(00:25):
together in decades really but that Thatfriendship, and so If you love travel
adventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointedand if you're looking for the hope
and inspiration in your own life andhealing journey I cover that as well.
(00:48):
It really is a book that Ithink can touch a lot of people
on a lot of different levels
Today on The Beautiful Side of Grief, weare exploring a journey from wall torn
(01:08):
Baghdad to the sunny Caribbean and manycountries in between through the eyes of
a diplomat's wife, who during all of thisstruggled with infertility, pregnancy
loss, parental loss, and so much more.
All the while re adapting tostrange new lands and dealing
with a complex chronic condition.
(01:29):
Yep, that sounds like a pretty heavy load.
Though in the midst of this, VashtiKanahili also discovered fabulous
new cultures, places off the beatentrack, and a resilience and strength
to take control of her health.
She has just released abook , Passports and Parasites.
Don't you just love that title?
(01:49):
It takes you from the exotic to thegrassroots of life, literally, which is
receiving fabulous reviews and in thepast few years has become a functional
medicine coach and now resides in Virginiawith her husband and two gorgeous girls.
So I am excited to explore allthis and more with her today.
(02:11):
So a very warm welcome to TheBeautiful Side of Grief, Vashti.
Thank you so much forhaving me on today, Helen.
The pleasure to be here.
Hello everyone.
First up, they say that we always findanother country that feels like home from
the moment that you arrive, and that wascertainly the case for me when I traveled.
Did you find such acountry on your travels?
(02:35):
So many different places, and I wouldsay that one that really feels like
home to me to this day, uh, is Lebanon.
Oh, what made you feel that way?
What was it about that place?
Um, I just loved the, the culture,the people, the history there.
Uh, it's a gorgeouscountry, delicious food.
(02:56):
And so I just always felt.
Like home and that is, kind ofstepping in front of our story here.
It is where I was able to,conceive my, my first child.
So it's, it has a specialplace in my heart.
oh yes, because that'sa journey in itself.
So just before we get into all of that,just share with us your background and
(03:18):
just so we can get a better understandingof who you are and what your journey has
been, because it's pretty fascinating.
Thank you.
Um, sure.
I am, uh, the spouse of a diplomat.
My husband is a diplomat inthe U S diplomatic corps.
And, um, we have been overseasfor most of the last 15 years.
(03:41):
Um, I was working in internationaldevelopment, um, during
those early years together.
And then, um, through my story and gettingsick with Lyme disease and infertility
and having all of these different thingshappen to me, I switched paths and became
a functional medicine coach, um, workingclosely with a naturopathic doctor.
(04:03):
And um, really if you want to goway back, I'm, it's funny because
I'm just really a small town girl.
from pretty rural America andliving this whole other life
that I never saw myself living.
I know because, oh my gosh, it justsounds like when we hear diplomat's
wife, we just imagine you just livingthe life of luxury, going to all
(04:27):
these exotic places and doing all ofthose wonderful things, experiencing
new cultures, all that sort of thing.
But I'd love to have you share with uswhat it was like experiencing fertility
issues in a country that isn't home.
How do you just navigate that, you know,culturally and with their medical system?
(04:52):
Yeah, you know, we had had a miscarriagein early in our marriage in 2008 when
we were living in the United States.
And that was one of those things whereit was like, Oh, there's no heartbeat.
You know, you've hada miscarriage go home.
We're sorry.
And, you know, sort of that sort ofJust your in and out in the emergency
care system and that was in the US.
And we moved to We're in Beirut,Lebanon we had been trying to have
(05:16):
children and we had suffered anothermiscarriage and it was honestly a I
felt more taken care of there than Idid in my own home, healthcare system.
Um, the doctor there immediately startedrunning tests to see what was going on.
Whereas in the U S they, I have friendswho've had many, many miscarriages
(05:37):
and no one really ever checkedit out except for say, sorry, you
know, try again and, keep going.
And so it was hard in the aspect thatI was far away from my, family, and
sometimes you really just want yourmom or your best friend, and, but I
was lucky to have a really wonderfulcommunity, at our embassy there.
(05:58):
And as well as having Lebanese friendsand everyone really rallied behind
us in that, initial miscarriage.
And, but it was still this.
A totally different healthcare system.
So really navigating that, um,and just trying to find your way
when you're so far away from home.
(06:18):
I know what to expect in the U Shealthcare system for better or worse.
And then, there, it was justlike, okay, we're going to do this.
We, I had, um, a Lebanese nursethat worked at the embassy
that helped me get set up with.
A reproductive endocrinologist thatwas highly regarded in the Lebanese and
an international community in Beirut.
(06:40):
And so seeing him wasreally, really helpful.
I actually really, he's thereason that we have kids today.
I truly believe that.
And then it was, okay, youhave a blood clotting disorder.
What are we going to do with this?
And, you know, having to themedication that's not necessarily
available on the local market.
(07:00):
And Just Hoping everything, wouldwork out, um, but really having
that community help me getthrough those really tough times.
Because we were having the miscarriageand at the same time, the Arab uprising,
if you remember what's going on atthat time, where across the Arab world,
(07:23):
There were in the, in the whole, thatwhole region, there were uprisings,
you know, and wanting a more democraticgovernment and things like that.
And so we were, we were verymuch wondering what was going on.
So there was that, that personal stressof, okay, we're trying to have a baby.
It's not working.
We're going through allof these different tests.
And then, oh, goodness, what is happeningright here regionally around us?
(07:46):
And how is that going to affect us?
And then my husband hadto leave and go to Syria.
And there was a very, very trying,um, Situation when he was in Syria.
And this was like immediately on theheels of having, the miscarriage.
And I just had to drop like sort ofthose feelings that I, the grief.
We, you talk about this in yourpodcast all the time and we, I just
(08:09):
never was able to fully grieve thatmiscarriage until I wrote the book.
I realized this when Iwas writing the book.
You know, I had just moved on to thisnext thing that was right in front of me.
And never sitting with thatgrief and processing it.
Until like a decade later.
Literally.
Yeah, let's talk about thatbecause, you know, I believe
(08:32):
miscarriage is such a hidden grief.
Like people just do not talk aboutit, are not able to freely share it
and, and process it in a healthy way.
You had lots of other things goingon, but nonetheless, like you said,
when you were in the States, youknow of many people that have had.
Multiple miscarriages, sorry, go home.
(08:54):
But, going through each and every oneof those is devastating on your system.
Hormonally, emotionally, physically,in so many different ways and you're
supposed to just get on with it.
So, yeah, that's, that's,that's such a tough thing.
So, it was writing about it, writingabout it in your book that actually
(09:17):
triggered you just to then process that.
How did that look like for you?
I was writing and I thought,okay, I'm going to write this
part about the miscarriage.
This is coming up.
And I thought, okay.
And I cried so much.
It was the most healing thing I couldhave done for myself was to write
(09:38):
this book on many levels, besidesbeing a journey of self discovery,
I was like, I was able to truly healin ways that I hadn't allowed myself.
To do because I was in that you'rewriting this down and you're reliving
it and you can feel it, you know,emotionally physically you all of it.
It's just surrounding you again And thenyou go back through and you edit the
(10:03):
book and you're you're doing that againSo multiple times I was reliving these
moments and while it was really hard.
It was so therapeutic
Yeah, yeah, it's just getting it outof your system and you don't realize
and just how much you just stuffaway, tuck away to deal with it at
another time and yeah, and that allimpacts on your health overall as well.
(10:27):
Oh,
Yeah, you mentioned about the power ofcommunity surrounding you and helping
you during that time in Lebanon.
Just share with us some more about thatbecause I think this is another thing
that in many countries we've lost.
I know here in New Zealand, we usedto have very powerful communities,
(10:50):
and now we just see more individuals.
And so just share with us a value ofhaving a community wrap around you.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's something that we're missingin the United States as well
on so many different levels.
And when it comes to something likehaving a miscarriage and being able to
(11:11):
have that community around you, youknow, it was just people stopping by.
We lived on a compound, so we alllived and worked in the same place.
So it was very, much sort of like,you know, A college sort of situation,
um, where everyone's living closetogether, but people just stopping
by, how are you doing people bringingme food or, just sitting with me
(11:35):
while I slept or whatever, you know?
And then my husband had to leave.
So just knowing that there were otherpeople there with me, that I wasn't alone.
And I think so often people are alone.
It's something that isuniversally a problem.
You know a real tragedy now Um thatwas really highlighted I think by
(11:55):
the pandemic, is this aloneness and Ithink it's really important as a global
community to find community again
Yeah.
because as one you're not, weare, we're stronger together, you
know, to use that adage, we arereally just stronger together and
(12:15):
we can help lift each other up.
And there are times, you know, whereyou're the one that needs to be lifted up.
And then there's the times where youcan be the one doing that lifting.
And it's been something that I'vetaken through all of our travels.
We've moved seven times internationallyand it's finding that community
because your life happens regardlessof where you are in the world.
(12:38):
Yeah.
You're right there and I just feel like,we have so many elderly people who really
paved the way for us in so many differentways who, like you say, are sitting
in homes by themselves without thatbeautiful community wrapped around them.
And, to me, that's justsuch a tragedy, isn't it?
(12:59):
And then I see so many young people whoare leaving home and again are out on
their own trying to fend for themselves.
So yeah, that's somethingvery, very dear to my heart.
And, uh, you know, it does worry me.
So I hope we're moving more back intothat let's, yeah, let's be a community.
(13:21):
Let's help each otherin whatever way we can.
Yeah, you also experienced that withyour father in law, didn't you, when
he passed away while you were overseas?
Mm hmm.
Yeah, you know, the community reallyrallied around us because we were far
away, and my husband, Found out that hisfather was ill and he traveled quickly and
(13:42):
then he came back, um, down to Curacao andwe were in the Southern Caribbean then.
And, when his dad did pass away, ourcommunity was there, like, just, every
day, all the meals bringing brought to us,you know, so we didn't have to think about
these, all the little things of life, andit helped me be able to support my husband
more as well, because of the support thatwas being brought in by the community.
(14:06):
And, you know, that was wonderful.
We had a situation in when we lived inCambodia, where my daughter got very ill.
And we had to leave andagain the community.
Was right there too.
We had guests and they came and tookcare of our guests and we got on a
plane and went to Singapore to, to getmy daughter the help that she needed.
And, and, you know, people werejust there to take care of us.
(14:29):
yeah, special, isn't it?
Yeah, beautiful.
So what is it about loss thathas made your family stronger?
How do you feel like you as afamily have grown from that?
I think we've had a lot ofloss in the last few years,
collectively and as a family.
And I think that, you know, it hasbrought us to this point where we are
(14:52):
just closer and I don't really knowhow to describe how, but we, through
that, we became a much stronger unit.
And I think part of that was writingthe book and sort of going through
these things with my husband again, andtalking about them brought us closer
together, experiencing the, even beingfar away from other communities, we had
(15:16):
to rely on ourselves, even though we hadour community, certainly, but we didn't
have our parents with us or our bestfriends or, you know, anything like that.
So just finding that way together.
Through those difficult times hasreally brought us closer together.
(15:36):
It's also just being ableto step back, isn't it?
And just being able to see, likeyou say, everything that you've gone
through and how incredibly strongand resilient you are to be able
to have got through all of that.
Because sometimes we forget to do that.
And we forget, we, with sort ofthinking, focusing on the things
that we're not perhaps so great atand forgetting to acknowledge those.
(16:00):
incredible times that we've just,you know, knuckled down and done what
we needed to, to get through them.
I think that's a very important to do.
Also.
so right on that.
So right.
Helen, because I, I often will do that.
Well, I didn't do this.
I haven't accomplished that or whatever.
And then I, again, I keep going backto writing the book, but it was this
(16:20):
very therapeutic thing and it made merealize, I was like, there's been a
whole lot, a whole lot that's happened.
Yeah, when you put it down onpaper and you go, holy heck.
Yeah
Hey, look, I imagine Vashti, beinga diplomat's wife, people perceive
(16:42):
you as strong and capable and able tonavigate anything that comes your way.
So how was it for you having a chronicillness and all that that entails,
were you able to be open with peoplestraight off the bat about what
you were facing or was it somethingthat you sort of kept quite, uh, to
(17:05):
yourself about just within your family?
Because I think it's about relationships.
Often you have to develop therelationships and the trust to be
able to open up and share, don't you?
So how was that for you?
Yeah, absolutely.
That's a really good question becauseI was diagnosed with Lyme disease in
2015 when we had just moved back tothe US for a tour in the in the US.
(17:30):
And You know, I didn't tell a lot ofpeople because with invisible illness I
It's really hard for people to understand.
You know, like, oh, I don't, I don'thave the energy to do this today, or I,
I'm sorry, you know, you're cancellingall the time, you're feeling kind of
bad about a lot of different things,and, and people don't necessarily
(17:52):
understand that because they can't see it.
No, but you look good,
Uh, many years of healing.
Thank you.
but you know, also did,
you don't look sick.
yes, exactly.
And that was the point I wasmaking, because that is what
I had in my journey a lot.
(18:12):
Oh, you don't look sick.
Exactly.
You know, you're, Oh, wow.
Okay.
Well, I, you're right.
Like, you don't look sick.
So they don't understand andthey just kind of give you this
look and then kind of move on.
Right.
And they think that the nexttime you're going to be fine.
You know, the next time they askyou to do something or, just
(18:32):
why you're not feeling well.
Um, so that was really hard.
And I didn't tell a lot ofpeople, when we moved, we had to
live in Texas for a little while.
And I was away from my care providers,which was also really difficult, uh, to,
to, to navigate living far away from thepeople that you really need help from.
And then when we moved to Nigeria,I really, really struggled.
(18:53):
I was, Um, I was telling myself thatI wasn't as sick as I really was, and
really just trying to be strong.
Like you said, you know, Oh,you're a diplomat's wife.
You can just go on.
You're strong.
You can navigate this next, thisnext thing, this next big move.
And I didn't do very well at that.
Honestly, I was really struggling mentallyand physically when we moved there.
(19:15):
And so then it was about like,okay, now I've moved to this new
place and I'm the sick person.
And I don't really want to tell peoplethat I'm the sick person, but I kind of
have to, but I don't know any of thesepeople, so who do I trust with that?
Because it's a big thing, andso it was really challenging.
(19:38):
I struggled a lot, and eventually Imade a really good group of friends
who did know, um, but not, certainly Ididn't share it widely, I wouldn't say.
Yeah.
How stressful is itbeing a diplomat's wife?
Like you say, we have this perception, butis there a lot of stress wrapped in there?
(20:01):
I would say so.
I mean, people think, oh, you're adiplomat's wife, you're going to parties
and leading, you know, the high lifeand it's all of these lovely things.
And certainly there areelements to that sometimes.
But we've also lived in, in a lotof different places that aren't
necessarily the easiest places to live.
(20:22):
And they all have wonderful things aboutthem, but they had their own stressors.
Living in a war zone in Baghdadcertainly was not like parties and
sipping champagne all the time.
You know, you have incomingrocket fire and, and, and.
People trying to hurt youon, on a regular basis.
And Lebanon was also that we hada lot of really stressful regional
(20:46):
things happening while we live there.
Um, besides our own things happening.
And then, no, so I say, yeah, there'sa lot of stress because I'm always
moving every two to three years.
So you're making friends, you're puttingthe effort out there, knowing that
you're building this community that isin many ways, transient and, thankfully,
due to amazing technology, we cankeep in touch much easier nowadays.
(21:10):
So these have become lifelong friends,but it's that reinventing yourself every
couple of years gets very, very tiring.
Yeah, I can't even imaginewhat that must be like.
Yeah, it's like puttingon a mask, isn't it?
And you know, and just,uh, yeah, that's tough.
How do you feel that impacted your health?
(21:30):
Having to do that oversuch a long period of time?
I think it didn't help.
.Like I said, I made great friends.
I think that the really big playerin my health was living in really
high stress And so, I've been inthis situation for many, many years.
And that, as we know,stress drives disease.
I was already set up, yeah, for sure.
(21:52):
And I was already set up tohave, autoimmune issues just,
environmental factors, genetic factors,all of those things that play into it.
I already had sort ofset the stage for that.
And then when I was diagnosed with Lymedisease and reactivated Epstein Barr
virus, which is like mono, um, you know,it's no surprise when you look back at
(22:13):
my story, like, of course I got sick, Iwas really like stressed all the time.
Um, but I also thrive in thatenvironment, which is something
that I've had to really work on.
I get that because, you know, Iwas considered like, you know.
(22:33):
type high achiever, youknow, go, go, go, go, go.
Yeah.
Uh, you know, I paid a price for that.
I would hit the wall and just crash.
And in New Zealand, youmentioned Lyme's disease.
Yeah.
That's not routinely testedfor here because we don't
really have that tech here.
So I actually only see.
where I'm living now, years agostumbled across a, functional medicine
(22:57):
doctor who actually tested for that.
And then that's how I knew thatI had been exposed to that.
But before that, everybody just thoughtI was a little bit kooky because I
just rollercoasted from one thingto another and never said a word.
It seemed healthy and I was like,so what led you into functional
(23:17):
medicine, which you're doing now?
Tell us about that journeybecause that's pretty special.
Yeah.
So once I was diagnosed with Lyme andABV and then the, like two years later
Hashimoto's autoimmune thyroiditis, I hadhad my two kids by that point and I was
like, I'm going to make a change and Iwant to help people on a different level.
(23:38):
I had been working in internationaldevelopment, so definitely working on
that macro level of, of helping others.
But I thought I really want to help otherpeople like me, because like you said,
there's so many people who are sick, butcan't get the answers that they need.
One, because people don't believethat, that the Lyme is a thing,
or they don't test for it orlike, Oh, it doesn't occur here.
(23:58):
Just using Lyme as an example, it can
Hmm.
Hmm.
illness.
Um, and so that I started,working as a health coach.
I got my certification and it was duringmy trip back to the U S from Nigeria
when I was really struggling with myhealth that I met a doctor, um, Dr.
Fox, who had joined my doctor's practice.
(24:22):
And we started talking and we had such asimilar mindset and I started to see my
healing mindset shift because I had beensick for a couple of years at that point
and I thought, I'm never getting better.
You know how it is, right?
Like
You're in the midst of it.
you're in the midst of it.
You're feeling terrible all the time.
You take care five steps forwardand 12 steps back, you know,
(24:45):
and it just isn't working.
And so I thought I, Iwas working with Dr.
Fox at that point.
And I thought I can get better.
You know, it was having somebodywho really wasn't just there to
help me because my Lyme doctor hadcertainly helped me start making
those steps to getting better.
But it was this.
hearing me and listening tome and saying, you've got this
(25:10):
and the hope you nailed it.
The hope that is therethat I can get better.
And so then I just kept goingwith I'm, I'm a chronic learner,
Yeah, I understand that.
of all things.
And so I was like, I'm just going tocontinue, and be, I would've loved to
gone to like naturopathic school, but withour lifestyle that didn't really work out.
(25:34):
And so, I found the program throughSchool of Applied Functional Medicine.
I thought, this is wonderful.
I can help people at a, at adeeper level and so many people
want to just know that there's hope whilethey're moving forward in their journey,
which is where I think the coachingAspect is so special to be with that
person through the journey through betweenthe doctor's visits and really helping
(25:58):
them Navigate it every step of the way.
That's the thing too, because you'reoften so exhausted and your mind's in
a fog and you're just, when you've beenchronically unwell for multiple years,
it's very difficult to be a really strong,active person advocate for yourself,
and so that's the benefit of havingsomebody walk alongside of you, isn't it?
(26:21):
And actually hear you and believe you and,and, and guide you towards that light.
Yeah,
absolutely, because when you'rein it, you can't get out of it.
And so it's really important tohave that person that can help you.
And that's where I now work with Dr.
(26:42):
Fox in this model where he, he's a, areally, good Lyme chronic illness doctor.
And so he sees the patients and then inbetween, I'm seeing them in between their
visits with him and we're finding suchgood success that way, because people
are having that hand, they're handheld byme, to, to help them walk that journey.
(27:06):
And I get the journey so often, Idon't have to have the same illness as
everybody, but I understand how you canjust be mired down in the thick of it.
There's a grief in that too, that alot of people don't realize they're
experiencing and it's the grief of notbeing able to live a normal healthy life
(27:27):
and do all the things that you want todo, that your mind says you can do, but
your body just absolutely says no way.
And then you go down awhole really mental health
Mmm.
Spiral as well, because when you'renot well, it doesn't affect you just
physically, it affects every aspect ofyour body, in your mind, in your being.
(27:49):
And so, yeah, just, I, I find such, it'swhat I'm supposed to be doing is helping
other people, advocating for other people.
And then when I wrote the book, Ithought this is another way to reach
even more people and to provide thathope and inspiration that you can
come through this on the other side.
(28:10):
And that's so valuable.
I think so many people, need, needthose really grassroots stories
where, you don't hold back.
You share because you know that insharing your warts and all that,
that's going to help somebody else knowthat, they can get through it also.
It's such a valuable thing.
(28:31):
Are you feeling lost, anxious,unsure of how to navigate the
loss of your beautiful loved one.
I don't know where to head next.
Yeah, I get that.
Then you may be interested inthe new offering I've developed
A Letter of Hope and Aroha.
To help you find out whoyou are right here and now.
And how you can navigate that withoutbeing on that emotional roller
(28:54):
coaster feeling out of control.
That's a feeling I really dislikedafter Tahl and then Adrian died.
So I've developed an eight weeksupport program where each week you
get an email of what worked for me.
As well as other tried and true toolsto help with grief, it's a beautiful
calming, mean healing resource thatI think you're really going to like.
(29:19):
And that you can use in youreveryday life to find out what
works for you and what doesn't.
And the great thing is you findyourself feeling stronger and more in
control, so you can work out what youwant life to look like going forward.
So with this sounds like somethingyou would like to check out, head
over to my website, or check out thelink in the episode notes, you're
(29:42):
looking for A Letter of Hope & Aroha.
For those listeners who don't understandwhat functional medicine is, can you just
explain for us now how that all works?
Yeah, so really when functionalmedicine, we're looking at the root
cause of what is causing your illnessIn the health care system, especially
(30:06):
in the US health care system.
I'm going to speak to thatIs there's so much that is
a band aid
Hmm.
Right?
So they don't really dig in.
So I am like a health detective, right?
We're going to figure out whatis going on with your health.
(30:29):
And that might be using specializedtesting outside of what you
would find at your regular lab.
We do different kinds of tests.
Uh, functional tests, but it'sreally continuing to work on your
case as we look for the root cause.
And that might be that we'reuncovering layers of things.
This often happens where you think thatyou've gotten to one thing, but you
(30:52):
come to another layer and another layer.
And so it's continuing to workthrough that so that we can
help you create optimal health.
A lot of experiences are exactly that,embedding themselves as layers and,
and that could have been happeningfrom, you know, such a young age,
(31:13):
very early in your childhood,and you just go on and on and on.
Right.
What do you see as some ofthe main root causes that are
showing up over and over again?
Hmm.
Stress.
Um, over and over.
Of course, there's genetic factors,but those are, you can be born with
(31:34):
any sort of set of genetic factors,but it doesn't have to be expressed.
We, they are expressed when weturn them on with things like
stress, environmental things.
That can be poor air qualitythat could be living in a really,
unhealthy environment, with, uh,with in a spouse or partner sort of
(31:55):
environment, it can be poor air quality.
When I lived in Lagos, itwas terrible air quality.
I was sick all the time.
That was definitely helping,not helping me, uh, get better.
So I would say, and then loneliness.
Is another driver of disease, whichwe talked about not having community.
(32:15):
People get sick too, they dowithdraw, especially when they're
being told over and over again.
It's just in your mind.
Nobody's believing them.
Nobody's understandingwhat's going on with them.
And so, yeah, they can just withdraw into
they withdraw and then they justget sicker because they don't
have anyone there supporting them.
(32:37):
Um, so those are like sort of the, the,those broader things that we see as root
cause more and more everyone is complex.
That is what we're seeing.
So, Yeah.
It could be that you have hormoneimbalance that is a root cause of
something, but at that you're, that's notthe root cause because there's something
(32:59):
that's causing your hormone imbalance.
And a lot of that goesback to your gut health.
And when we live in the society thatwe do, our gut health takes a huge
Hit.
turn for the worse, right?
Because it's impacted by everythingfrom what we're consuming food wise,
what we're consuming visually, ourconversations with people and
(33:24):
it's where our immune system sits.
So, it's often it goes back to the gut.
Yeah.
then those other environmental factors.
Yeah.
Just, um, Just on the topic of stress,I remember when I was doing a before
school check program where we didthis massive screening for four year
(33:44):
olds just to ensure they could startschool in the best possible health.
Part of that we were doing, educatingpeople on the stress associated with
Domestic violence and, even, withsomebody carrying a baby and being
in a violent situation and the stressacted as cortisol, destroying the
(34:06):
brain cells in these little babies.
And so right from the get go, they wereon the back foot and it was like really
good for a lot of our men to understand.
But women as well, but also men tounderstand the effects of, of, of yelling
(34:26):
and treating somebody in such a way andhow that was affecting their partner
and also their, their unborn children.
Yeah.
Everything now we're seeing thatis happening in utero is really
shocking, all the toxins thatwe're finding in the umbilical cord.
(34:47):
Now that is setting up generationsof children for chronic illness.
You've already set the stagefor that along with things like
you're saying, domestic violence,all of these things play into
setting up a society that will be.
Chronically ill.
(35:07):
So what's the solution?
Small question.
Community.
Absolutely
If only it was that easy though, right?
I mean, I think it is stress reduction.
I think it's community.
I, I think it is getting away from thismindset of, I must do everything on my
(35:29):
own and being okay with asking for help.
We are not taught to ask for help.
I also, this person.
can see my reaction here, can't you?
Cause that's taken me many, many years.
Like I'm nearly 60 and I wouldjust say now I'm only comfortable
now asking people for help.
(35:50):
Yeah, it's something that we were nottaught to do, and so there are just,
there are layers to, to getting to ahealthier society, stopping using all
the pesticides and the herbicides,but those are huge issues that we Um,
personally cannot probably take on.
(36:11):
Right?
You know, you can educate around it.
You can definitely reduce your toxicburden, but we're just so ensnared
in this toxicity that's aroundus all the time now, on varying
levels, reducing your screen time.
Another thing that, is hugelybeneficial for your health.
(36:32):
But I think as individuals it's it'slooking at like how can I help others?
How can I be of service?
I
How can I create a better world?
In my part of the world.
You know, cause it starts with us.
It starts with individuals.
I share with people, with listeners,something that's very, key to my life is
(36:55):
that, especially after when my daughterdied, being able to go out and help others
actually was so healing for me becauseit gave me a break from grief But it
also enabled me to be helping people thatweren't so fortunate in another area.
I was helping youth get to and frompractices because they didn't have
(37:18):
transport or supportive familiesand we were feeding them at the
practice and that sort of thing.
And honestly, the benefits from justdoing something as simple as that, Oh,
it used to just fill my heart everysingle time and, and now I still do it,
my highlight of my week is when I goout and I just say, no, how can I help?
(37:42):
Yeah.
use me.
Yeah.
So yeah, I agree with you.
That's so healing.
And I think.
If we encourage more people to dothat, because often they think, Oh,
I'm so sick, I can't go and do that.
But there's always something somebodycan do, even if it's just for one hour.
For sure.
It, we don't know the impact we're havingon other people, You know, and how we're
(38:07):
helping or, and, and how that helps us.
Like we've, we've just been saying, itis, it's bene it's mutually beneficial.
And it's just something I think thatwe can do to make our world better,
Hmm.
you know, not just our health, butour world is, is by helping those
that, like you said, might not be asfortunate or have their own issues.
(38:28):
It doesn't have to mirror thesame issue that you're facing.
But it's just putting yourselfout there in that way.
Yeah, I agree with you first time andI think we do have groups of people now
shifting and being aware of the importanceof this and I think that started with the
(38:50):
pandemic and people having to take stockof their life and was it really important
to think you know, allowing them to behappy, especially when they got to spend
more time at home with their family again.
And, for some peoplethat never, ever had that.
And just the joy of just being able tojust, hang out with your kids and your
(39:12):
spouse and quality time without therealways being something to rush onto.
So I think that was,very, very important.
Yeah.
That's how you share.
Yeah, share with us about your book now.
Just tell us what your book is aboutbecause it's a, it's a book like
I said on so many different levelsand, and I'm sure people reading
(39:35):
this are going to just love it.
So what, what
Yeah, it kind of it reaches across somany spectrums of the human experience.
And so I hope it reallytouches so many people.
So the name of my book is Passportsand Parasites and it's my memoir
of the last 15 years of my life, Icould probably write a whole other
(39:57):
memoir in my childhood, but thatwould have been a whole nother book.
And so it really takes off in Baghdad,and you, you find me, you know, flying
on a helicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it, it, it could beone part travel, adventure story,
but I've really wove my life our lifeinto it and it became the story of
(40:20):
me of us my family and you You knowis also like the story of me and my
best friend who have not lived closetogether in decades really but that That
friendship, and so If you love traveladventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointedand if you're looking for the hope
(40:44):
and inspiration in your own life andhealing journey I cover that as well.
It really is a book that I think cantouch a lot of people on a lot of
different levels And so it reallytakes off in Baghdad, and you,
you find me, you know, flying on ahelicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it, it, it could beone part travel, adventure story,
(41:09):
but I've really wove my life our lifeinto it and it became the story of
me of us my family and you You knowis also like the story of me and my
best friend who have not lived closetogether in decades really but that That
(41:30):
friendship, and so If you love traveladventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointedand if you're looking for the hope
and inspiration in your own life andhealing journey I cover that as well.
It really is a book that Ithink can touch a lot of people
(41:51):
on a lot of different levels
What were your greatestlearnings from writing this book?
Yeah,
That I had a lot of healingthat I still needed to do, I
thought, oh, I'm I'm in remission.
I'm good, you know, and then I thought wowI I had so much to work through Knowing
(42:17):
I found myself thinking wow, I reallylove this stressful environment I could do
this writing the book was a whole notherstressful environment, you know that I
pushed myself right to the edge again Andi'm like, okay Take stock of this, Vashti.
Like, this is something thatyou can continue to work on.
It's how you are taking care of yourself.
(42:39):
I help other people takecare of themselves every day.
But continuing to do that work forme, the power of friendship, the power
of community, that's something that Ihadn't Really, Helen, I had known and
had been paramount in my life, but I hadnever realized the importance of it in
my own journey until I wrote the book.
(43:01):
And I was like, well, there it is.
This is the theme of the book.
It's community.
and actually it's unravelling life, isn'tit, and taking it back down to keeping
things simple as to what is important.
Yeah.
We really learned with the pandemic, Ithink as well, you know, very difficult
(43:23):
time, but there are a lot of realtakeaways to, to this and, and that's,
the book came out of after the pandemic.
Um, and you read about the pandemicpart of the book in the book as well.
And, you know, it's.
you were, where wereyou when that broke out?
You were in Nigeria,
are in Nigeria and we, thestate department went on what
(43:44):
is called authorized departure.
They will, they authorize youto leave post and they pay for
you to go to your home country.
And usually that is when civilunrest or, a huge natural disaster
has happened or something that,country by country that may happen.
And this was the first time it was global.
So like everywhere that we haveembassies and consulates in the
(44:05):
world, we're on authorized departure.
And we had wanted to stay,but, we weren't sure how it
was going to go down there.
And the medical care in Nigeria is, is notoptimal by any stretch of the imagination.
And we decided, for my healthspecifically, it would probably
(44:27):
be beneficial to leave becausewe didn't know if something
happened, would we be able to be.
Meta fact or evacuated out, right?
There was everybody was trying to beevacuated across the world, right?
There was no safer place than one placethan the other So, you know It was like
what do I do and I really we went aroundand around as a family about what to
(44:48):
do because we wanted to stay together,but ultimately I made the decision
to leave with our, our two daughtersand go to the Seattle area while my
husband stayed behind, because he'sessential staff and he couldn't leave.
I
Oh, really?
So you were separated?
Yeah, we were separated, and thatwas a really difficult decision, and
(45:09):
I went home to Seattle, home ish.
I don't really have a home, but, andit was wonderful there because Dr.
Fox is in Seattle, my mom, my best friend.
So there were people that were there,not that we were seeing everybody,
but it was still nice to be there.
And that's where I really hada complete breakdown, though.
I was like the safest Ishould have ever been.
And that's where I completely, well,I was, I was diagnosed with PTSD.
(45:34):
It was all the years of the things thathad happened, not dealing with them.
Wow.
in this quarantine house thatI was in with my daughters.
So then long, long story short.
Several months went by, my husband'stour in Nigeria ended, he came to the U.
(45:54):
S.
and then we went down to Curaçao inthe Dutch Caribbean, just off the
coast of Venezuela and Colombia.
And that's where we wereduring the pandemic.
From 2020 until the 2023.
So
to be, is it?
Yeah.
there, there were no cases on the island.
But they also weren't allowing anycommercial airlines in and that
(46:17):
works well for an island for a point.
Right.
And then, because it was anisland and it's warm all the
time, we were able to be outside.
And that was really when we found wefell in love with mountain biking.
You were saying, you know, youfinding these things that you're
doing as a family and you're so right.
We We really came together as family,spending so much time together, being
(46:39):
able to go out and we got the lastcouple of bikes that were being sold
at the bike store on the island,you know, and we're just like, okay,
we're going to go ride our bikes now.
And, and, so it was a nice place.
The weather was always,lovely for the most part.
So lots of outdoor time.
We, we really were able to.
Go on with life for the most part as ifit was normal, there were a few times that
(47:05):
the kids were in school when the numberswould get too high or whatever, because
the hospital would get overwhelmed.
And so they would then, put restrictionsin place, for the population of the
Island because they just couldn't,where are you going to send people?
the, the hospital wascompletely overwhelmed.
But overall it was, you you know,but, It's really an excellent
(47:27):
place to be during COVID.
And one of my favorite thingsduring that time was just walking.
I was lucky.
I lived in a rural area thatwas very close to a town,
so, I had the best of both.
But I could just walk these beaches.
Back country roads and there was notraffic and there was nobody on them
(47:50):
and I would just walk and and I'd finda different way to walk each time and
so I would be discovering new thingsbut it was just, it was magical.
I
was.
treasure, treasure, treasure that time.
And, and not having all the.
I mean, there was plenty of stress,but not having the Go, go, go.
I think was hugely beneficial.
(48:12):
And now I find myself as we'reobviously back in this go, go, go.
And I'm like, I don't want to do this.
And it's good to recognize that becausethat's what we were not recognizing.
We just thought that waslife, get on, deal with it.
But now we know that it can be different.
So we, can try and chooseto do things differently.
(48:33):
Vashti, what does your lifelook like for you now, today?
Today, it's we're backin the United States.
We live in the DC area for acouple of years, and it's it's
pretty much just right now.
It's promoting the book.
It's people asking me ifI'm writing another book.
It's getting, great reviews,which is just exciting.
(48:55):
And all you can ask for as an authoris to, to touch other people's lives.
And you know, I'm just a momand a business owner and a wife.
And in my, my, my day to day ispretty much like everybody else.
Never just.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Never just exactly.
But yeah, I mean, it's, it's pretty muchlike every day, every day life right now.
(49:21):
And it's a, it's interesting to come back.
After being away for, wewere gone for 6 years.
And.
I don't know.
There's so much to take away fromwhen you live in other places
and then incorporating that intohow you, you live your life.
Yeah, absolutely.
(49:43):
Yeah.
So I always finish up our interviewswith a couple of questions.
So the first question to you is, what isthe best thing that has happened to you
so far today, right here, now, today?
Today.
My husband had the day offand we were able to just spend
some extra time together, whichhas been really, really nice.
(50:03):
So that is probably been thebest thing to happen today.
And then, and, and talkingto you, this has been lovely.
Oh, great.
I was just going to say, andhere I am interrupting your time
No, he has gone off.
He's gone off to get the kids.
But, no, it was, it's just nice when youhave these sort of unexpected moments,
(50:25):
you know, um, together and, and somethingthat we've really learned to value
Oh, that's lovely.
I like that.
What is something thatyou are most grateful for?
this life that I never saw living.
It has been filled with ups and downs.
And, lots of different stressors, butit's, it's been magical in so many ways
(50:49):
or is, I wouldn't change it for anything.
I know, to be in the point you aretoday, being able to serve others,
help others on their own journey,you couldn't have done that unless
you went through that whole process.
Journey yourself and yeah, yeah.
So sometimes we have tojust wear it all, don't we?
To get to the, what wereally need to be doing.
(51:12):
Yeah, I feel that too.
When you have moments in yourday that are not going so
well and they turn to custard.
What is your go to to pivot out of that?
Oh, that's a really good question.
Um, oftentimes I really tryto just recenter myself.
I'm a big fan of breathingexercises and just really trying to
(51:34):
recenter myself and knowing that.
Things are going to be okay or whatever.
Isn't my fault or whatever, you know?
So I would say breathing exercisesand getting outside and, and take it
a few minutes to go for a walk andjust breathe some fresh air and just
separate myself from, from whateverit might be going on, you know,
(51:55):
Yeah, great.
What would you like toleave our listeners with?
What parting comments?
If you're in the thick of it,there is, really there's hope and.
At the end of the tunnel,you can, get through this.
There are other people out there like you.
I think it's so important toknow that you're not alone.
Oh, great.
I like this.
(52:15):
my message for people isthat they are not alone.
Yeah, that's a good message.
So I will have the links in theepisode notes to your fabulous book,
which is Passports and Parasites.
And I've, I've downloaded it toread because like I was, I was
reading all these reviews andgoing, Oh, I have to read this.
Oh,
(52:35):
And I'm sorry I didn't get toit before I interviewed you.
So, you know, like I have.
Yeah.
I often have so many books toread and then I think, oh man,
I can completely understand.
I hope you love it.
You know, it is everything.
And so I just, I, I've been overwhelmedwith the reviews and the response.
(52:58):
It's been more than I ever dreamed of.
So I, I really hope you love it.
yeah, I think I will because those,those reviews are incredible and
very deserving by the sounds of it.
So I can't wait and I'll letyou know, I'll let you know,
yes, please do.
share with our listeners howthey can reach you if they want
to right now before the, yeah.
(53:18):
Great.
You can find me at mywebsite, VashtaiConahaley.
com.
That's where you will learnabout the work I do with other
people, how I serve other people.
You can also find your freechapter to the book there.
If you want to, buy thebook, you can go on Amazon.
It's available across allAmazon platforms, soon to
be on other booksellers.
(53:40):
And, you can also find me onInstagram at VashtaiConahaley.
Great.
And you're going to do an audio version.
I am.
That is coming up.
So you, yes, multiple people have askedme about that and I really wanted to get
it done, but I'm hoping by the springthat we'll have that audible version out.
Fantastic.
Vashti, I really appreciate yousharing your incredible experiences
(54:04):
with us and that journey that's ledyou to doing what you're doing now in
functional medicine and, and coachingothers through that journey themselves.
And you know, I'm sure there's a lotof people who are going to be listening
that can really relate to the informationthat you've shared today and you've
just given us all so much hope, so muchinspiration and I'm really, really
(54:27):
grateful for that and for your time today.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for having me on.
It's been such a pleasure.
And so it really takes off in Baghdad,and you find me, you know, flying on
(00:04):
a helicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it could be one parttravel, adventure story, but I've really
wove my life our life into it and itbecame the story of me of us my family and
You know is also like the story of me andmy best friend who have not lived close
(00:25):
together in decades really but that Thatfriendship, and so If you love travel
adventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointedand if you're looking for the hope
and inspiration in your own life andhealing journey I cover that as well.
(00:48):
It really is a book that Ithink can touch a lot of people
on a lot of different levels
Today on The Beautiful Side of Grief, weare exploring a journey from wall torn
(01:08):
Baghdad to the sunny Caribbean and manycountries in between through the eyes of
a diplomat's wife, who during all of thisstruggled with infertility, pregnancy
loss, parental loss, and so much more.
All the while re adapting tostrange new lands and dealing
with a complex chronic condition.
(01:29):
Yep, that sounds like a pretty heavy load.
Though in the midst of this, VashtiKanahili also discovered fabulous
new cultures, places off the beatentrack, and a resilience and strength
to take control of her health.
She has just released abook , Passports and Parasites.
Don't you just love that title?
(01:49):
It takes you from the exotic to thegrassroots of life, literally, which is
receiving fabulous reviews and in thepast few years has become a functional
medicine coach and now resides in Virginiawith her husband and two gorgeous girls.
So I am excited to explore allthis and more with her today.
(02:11):
So a very warm welcome to TheBeautiful Side of Grief, Vashti.
Thank you so much forhaving me on today, Helen.
The pleasure to be here.
Hello everyone.
First up, they say that we always findanother country that feels like home from
the moment that you arrive, and that wascertainly the case for me when I traveled.
Did you find such acountry on your travels?
(02:35):
So many different places, and I wouldsay that one that really feels like
home to me to this day, uh, is Lebanon.
Oh, what made you feel that way?
What was it about that place?
Um, I just loved the, the culture,the people, the history there.
Uh, it's a gorgeouscountry, delicious food.
(02:56):
And so I just always felt.
Like home and that is, kind ofstepping in front of our story here.
It is where I was able to,conceive my, my first child.
So it's, it has a specialplace in my heart.
oh yes, because that'sa journey in itself.
So just before we get into all of that,just share with us your background and
(03:18):
just so we can get a better understandingof who you are and what your journey has
been, because it's pretty fascinating.
Thank you.
Um, sure.
I am, uh, the spouse of a diplomat.
My husband is a diplomat inthe U S diplomatic corps.
And, um, we have been overseasfor most of the last 15 years.
(03:41):
Um, I was working in internationaldevelopment, um, during
those early years together.
And then, um, through my story and gettingsick with Lyme disease and infertility
and having all of these different thingshappen to me, I switched paths and became
a functional medicine coach, um, workingclosely with a naturopathic doctor.
(04:03):
And um, really if you want to goway back, I'm, it's funny because
I'm just really a small town girl.
from pretty rural America andliving this whole other life
that I never saw myself living.
I know because, oh my gosh, it justsounds like when we hear diplomat's
wife, we just imagine you just livingthe life of luxury, going to all
(04:27):
these exotic places and doing all ofthose wonderful things, experiencing
new cultures, all that sort of thing.
But I'd love to have you share with uswhat it was like experiencing fertility
issues in a country that isn't home.
How do you just navigate that, you know,culturally and with their medical system?
(04:52):
Yeah, you know, we had had a miscarriagein early in our marriage in 2008 when
we were living in the United States.
And that was one of those things whereit was like, Oh, there's no heartbeat.
You know, you've hada miscarriage go home.
We're sorry.
And, you know, sort of that sort ofJust your in and out in the emergency
care system and that was in the US.
And we moved to We're in Beirut,Lebanon we had been trying to have
(05:16):
children and we had suffered anothermiscarriage and it was honestly a I
felt more taken care of there than Idid in my own home, healthcare system.
Um, the doctor there immediately startedrunning tests to see what was going on.
Whereas in the U S they, I have friendswho've had many, many miscarriages
(05:37):
and no one really ever checkedit out except for say, sorry, you
know, try again and, keep going.
And so it was hard in the aspect thatI was far away from my, family, and
sometimes you really just want yourmom or your best friend, and, but I
was lucky to have a really wonderfulcommunity, at our embassy there.
(05:58):
And as well as having Lebanese friendsand everyone really rallied behind
us in that, initial miscarriage.
And, but it was still this.
A totally different healthcare system.
So really navigating that, um,and just trying to find your way
when you're so far away from home.
(06:18):
I know what to expect in the U Shealthcare system for better or worse.
And then, there, it was justlike, okay, we're going to do this.
We, I had, um, a Lebanese nursethat worked at the embassy
that helped me get set up with.
A reproductive endocrinologist thatwas highly regarded in the Lebanese and
an international community in Beirut.
(06:40):
And so seeing him wasreally, really helpful.
I actually really, he's thereason that we have kids today.
I truly believe that.
And then it was, okay, youhave a blood clotting disorder.
What are we going to do with this?
And, you know, having to themedication that's not necessarily
available on the local market.
(07:00):
And Just Hoping everything, wouldwork out, um, but really having
that community help me getthrough those really tough times.
Because we were having the miscarriageand at the same time, the Arab uprising,
if you remember what's going on atthat time, where across the Arab world,
(07:23):
There were in the, in the whole, thatwhole region, there were uprisings,
you know, and wanting a more democraticgovernment and things like that.
And so we were, we were verymuch wondering what was going on.
So there was that, that personal stressof, okay, we're trying to have a baby.
It's not working.
We're going through allof these different tests.
And then, oh, goodness, what is happeningright here regionally around us?
(07:46):
And how is that going to affect us?
And then my husband hadto leave and go to Syria.
And there was a very, very trying,um, Situation when he was in Syria.
And this was like immediately on theheels of having, the miscarriage.
And I just had to drop like sort ofthose feelings that I, the grief.
We, you talk about this in yourpodcast all the time and we, I just
(08:09):
never was able to fully grieve thatmiscarriage until I wrote the book.
I realized this when Iwas writing the book.
You know, I had just moved on to thisnext thing that was right in front of me.
And never sitting with thatgrief and processing it.
Until like a decade later.
Literally.
Yeah, let's talk about thatbecause, you know, I believe
(08:32):
miscarriage is such a hidden grief.
Like people just do not talk aboutit, are not able to freely share it
and, and process it in a healthy way.
You had lots of other things goingon, but nonetheless, like you said,
when you were in the States, youknow of many people that have had.
Multiple miscarriages, sorry, go home.
(08:54):
But, going through each and every oneof those is devastating on your system.
Hormonally, emotionally, physically,in so many different ways and you're
supposed to just get on with it.
So, yeah, that's, that's,that's such a tough thing.
So, it was writing about it, writingabout it in your book that actually
(09:17):
triggered you just to then process that.
How did that look like for you?
I was writing and I thought,okay, I'm going to write this
part about the miscarriage.
This is coming up.
And I thought, okay.
And I cried so much.
It was the most healing thing I couldhave done for myself was to write
(09:38):
this book on many levels, besidesbeing a journey of self discovery,
I was like, I was able to truly healin ways that I hadn't allowed myself.
To do because I was in that you'rewriting this down and you're reliving
it and you can feel it, you know,emotionally physically you all of it.
It's just surrounding you again And thenyou go back through and you edit the
(10:03):
book and you're you're doing that againSo multiple times I was reliving these
moments and while it was really hard.
It was so therapeutic
Yeah, yeah, it's just getting it outof your system and you don't realize
and just how much you just stuffaway, tuck away to deal with it at
another time and yeah, and that allimpacts on your health overall as well.
(10:27):
Oh,
Yeah, you mentioned about the power ofcommunity surrounding you and helping
you during that time in Lebanon.
Just share with us some more about thatbecause I think this is another thing
that in many countries we've lost.
I know here in New Zealand, we usedto have very powerful communities,
(10:50):
and now we just see more individuals.
And so just share with us a value ofhaving a community wrap around you.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's something that we're missingin the United States as well
on so many different levels.
And when it comes to something likehaving a miscarriage and being able to
(11:11):
have that community around you, youknow, it was just people stopping by.
We lived on a compound, so we alllived and worked in the same place.
So it was very, much sort of like,you know, A college sort of situation,
um, where everyone's living closetogether, but people just stopping
by, how are you doing people bringingme food or, just sitting with me
(11:35):
while I slept or whatever, you know?
And then my husband had to leave.
So just knowing that there were otherpeople there with me, that I wasn't alone.
And I think so often people are alone.
It's something that isuniversally a problem.
You know a real tragedy now Um thatwas really highlighted I think by
(11:55):
the pandemic, is this aloneness and Ithink it's really important as a global
community to find community again
Yeah.
because as one you're not, weare, we're stronger together, you
know, to use that adage, we arereally just stronger together and
(12:15):
we can help lift each other up.
And there are times, you know, whereyou're the one that needs to be lifted up.
And then there's the times where youcan be the one doing that lifting.
And it's been something that I'vetaken through all of our travels.
We've moved seven times internationallyand it's finding that community
because your life happens regardlessof where you are in the world.
(12:38):
Yeah.
You're right there and I just feel like,we have so many elderly people who really
paved the way for us in so many differentways who, like you say, are sitting
in homes by themselves without thatbeautiful community wrapped around them.
And, to me, that's justsuch a tragedy, isn't it?
(12:59):
And then I see so many young people whoare leaving home and again are out on
their own trying to fend for themselves.
So yeah, that's somethingvery, very dear to my heart.
And, uh, you know, it does worry me.
So I hope we're moving more back intothat let's, yeah, let's be a community.
(13:21):
Let's help each otherin whatever way we can.
Yeah, you also experienced that withyour father in law, didn't you, when
he passed away while you were overseas?
Mm hmm.
Yeah, you know, the community reallyrallied around us because we were far
away, and my husband, Found out that hisfather was ill and he traveled quickly and
(13:42):
then he came back, um, down to Curacao andwe were in the Southern Caribbean then.
And, when his dad did pass away, ourcommunity was there, like, just, every
day, all the meals bringing brought to us,you know, so we didn't have to think about
these, all the little things of life, andit helped me be able to support my husband
more as well, because of the support thatwas being brought in by the community.
(14:06):
And, you know, that was wonderful.
We had a situation in when we lived inCambodia, where my daughter got very ill.
And we had to leave andagain the community.
Was right there too.
We had guests and they came and tookcare of our guests and we got on a
plane and went to Singapore to, to getmy daughter the help that she needed.
And, and, you know, people werejust there to take care of us.
(14:29):
yeah, special, isn't it?
Yeah, beautiful.
So what is it about loss thathas made your family stronger?
How do you feel like you as afamily have grown from that?
I think we've had a lot ofloss in the last few years,
collectively and as a family.
And I think that, you know, it hasbrought us to this point where we are
(14:52):
just closer and I don't really knowhow to describe how, but we, through
that, we became a much stronger unit.
And I think part of that was writingthe book and sort of going through
these things with my husband again, andtalking about them brought us closer
together, experiencing the, even beingfar away from other communities, we had
(15:16):
to rely on ourselves, even though we hadour community, certainly, but we didn't
have our parents with us or our bestfriends or, you know, anything like that.
So just finding that way together.
Through those difficult times hasreally brought us closer together.
(15:36):
It's also just being ableto step back, isn't it?
And just being able to see, likeyou say, everything that you've gone
through and how incredibly strongand resilient you are to be able
to have got through all of that.
Because sometimes we forget to do that.
And we forget, we, with sort ofthinking, focusing on the things
that we're not perhaps so great atand forgetting to acknowledge those.
(16:00):
incredible times that we've just,you know, knuckled down and done what
we needed to, to get through them.
I think that's a very important to do.
Also.
so right on that.
So right.
Helen, because I, I often will do that.
Well, I didn't do this.
I haven't accomplished that or whatever.
And then I, again, I keep going backto writing the book, but it was this
(16:20):
very therapeutic thing and it made merealize, I was like, there's been a
whole lot, a whole lot that's happened.
Yeah, when you put it down onpaper and you go, holy heck.
Yeah
Hey, look, I imagine Vashti, beinga diplomat's wife, people perceive
(16:42):
you as strong and capable and able tonavigate anything that comes your way.
So how was it for you having a chronicillness and all that that entails,
were you able to be open with peoplestraight off the bat about what
you were facing or was it somethingthat you sort of kept quite, uh, to
(17:05):
yourself about just within your family?
Because I think it's about relationships.
Often you have to develop therelationships and the trust to be
able to open up and share, don't you?
So how was that for you?
Yeah, absolutely.
That's a really good question becauseI was diagnosed with Lyme disease in
2015 when we had just moved back tothe US for a tour in the in the US.
(17:30):
And You know, I didn't tell a lot ofpeople because with invisible illness I
It's really hard for people to understand.
You know, like, oh, I don't, I don'thave the energy to do this today, or I,
I'm sorry, you know, you're cancellingall the time, you're feeling kind of
bad about a lot of different things,and, and people don't necessarily
(17:52):
understand that because they can't see it.
No, but you look good,
Uh, many years of healing.
Thank you.
but you know, also did,
you don't look sick.
yes, exactly.
And that was the point I wasmaking, because that is what
I had in my journey a lot.
(18:12):
Oh, you don't look sick.
Exactly.
You know, you're, Oh, wow.
Okay.
Well, I, you're right.
Like, you don't look sick.
So they don't understand andthey just kind of give you this
look and then kind of move on.
Right.
And they think that the nexttime you're going to be fine.
You know, the next time they askyou to do something or, just
(18:32):
why you're not feeling well.
Um, so that was really hard.
And I didn't tell a lot ofpeople, when we moved, we had to
live in Texas for a little while.
And I was away from my care providers,which was also really difficult, uh, to,
to, to navigate living far away from thepeople that you really need help from.
And then when we moved to Nigeria,I really, really struggled.
(18:53):
I was, Um, I was telling myself thatI wasn't as sick as I really was, and
really just trying to be strong.
Like you said, you know, Oh,you're a diplomat's wife.
You can just go on.
You're strong.
You can navigate this next, thisnext thing, this next big move.
And I didn't do very well at that.
Honestly, I was really struggling mentallyand physically when we moved there.
(19:15):
And so then it was about like,okay, now I've moved to this new
place and I'm the sick person.
And I don't really want to tell peoplethat I'm the sick person, but I kind of
have to, but I don't know any of thesepeople, so who do I trust with that?
Because it's a big thing, andso it was really challenging.
(19:38):
I struggled a lot, and eventually Imade a really good group of friends
who did know, um, but not, certainly Ididn't share it widely, I wouldn't say.
Yeah.
How stressful is itbeing a diplomat's wife?
Like you say, we have this perception, butis there a lot of stress wrapped in there?
(20:01):
I would say so.
I mean, people think, oh, you're adiplomat's wife, you're going to parties
and leading, you know, the high lifeand it's all of these lovely things.
And certainly there areelements to that sometimes.
But we've also lived in, in a lotof different places that aren't
necessarily the easiest places to live.
(20:22):
And they all have wonderful things aboutthem, but they had their own stressors.
Living in a war zone in Baghdadcertainly was not like parties and
sipping champagne all the time.
You know, you have incomingrocket fire and, and, and.
People trying to hurt youon, on a regular basis.
And Lebanon was also that we hada lot of really stressful regional
(20:46):
things happening while we live there.
Um, besides our own things happening.
And then, no, so I say, yeah, there'sa lot of stress because I'm always
moving every two to three years.
So you're making friends, you're puttingthe effort out there, knowing that
you're building this community that isin many ways, transient and, thankfully,
due to amazing technology, we cankeep in touch much easier nowadays.
(21:10):
So these have become lifelong friends,but it's that reinventing yourself every
couple of years gets very, very tiring.
Yeah, I can't even imaginewhat that must be like.
Yeah, it's like puttingon a mask, isn't it?
And you know, and just,uh, yeah, that's tough.
How do you feel that impacted your health?
(21:30):
Having to do that oversuch a long period of time?
I think it didn't help.
.Like I said, I made great friends.
I think that the really big playerin my health was living in really
high stress And so, I've been inthis situation for many, many years.
And that, as we know,stress drives disease.
I was already set up, yeah, for sure.
(21:52):
And I was already set up tohave, autoimmune issues just,
environmental factors, genetic factors,all of those things that play into it.
I already had sort ofset the stage for that.
And then when I was diagnosed with Lymedisease and reactivated Epstein Barr
virus, which is like mono, um, you know,it's no surprise when you look back at
(22:13):
my story, like, of course I got sick, Iwas really like stressed all the time.
Um, but I also thrive in thatenvironment, which is something
that I've had to really work on.
I get that because, you know, Iwas considered like, you know.
(22:33):
type high achiever, youknow, go, go, go, go, go.
Yeah.
Uh, you know, I paid a price for that.
I would hit the wall and just crash.
And in New Zealand, youmentioned Lyme's disease.
Yeah.
That's not routinely testedfor here because we don't
really have that tech here.
So I actually only see.
where I'm living now, years agostumbled across a, functional medicine
(22:57):
doctor who actually tested for that.
And then that's how I knew thatI had been exposed to that.
But before that, everybody just thoughtI was a little bit kooky because I
just rollercoasted from one thingto another and never said a word.
It seemed healthy and I was like,so what led you into functional
(23:17):
medicine, which you're doing now?
Tell us about that journeybecause that's pretty special.
Yeah.
So once I was diagnosed with Lyme andABV and then the, like two years later
Hashimoto's autoimmune thyroiditis, I hadhad my two kids by that point and I was
like, I'm going to make a change and Iwant to help people on a different level.
(23:38):
I had been working in internationaldevelopment, so definitely working on
that macro level of, of helping others.
But I thought I really want to help otherpeople like me, because like you said,
there's so many people who are sick, butcan't get the answers that they need.
One, because people don't believethat, that the Lyme is a thing,
or they don't test for it orlike, Oh, it doesn't occur here.
(23:58):
Just using Lyme as an example, it can
Hmm.
Hmm.
illness.
Um, and so that I started,working as a health coach.
I got my certification and it was duringmy trip back to the U S from Nigeria
when I was really struggling with myhealth that I met a doctor, um, Dr.
Fox, who had joined my doctor's practice.
(24:22):
And we started talking and we had such asimilar mindset and I started to see my
healing mindset shift because I had beensick for a couple of years at that point
and I thought, I'm never getting better.
You know how it is, right?
Like
You're in the midst of it.
you're in the midst of it.
You're feeling terrible all the time.
You take care five steps forwardand 12 steps back, you know,
(24:45):
and it just isn't working.
And so I thought I, Iwas working with Dr.
Fox at that point.
And I thought I can get better.
You know, it was having somebodywho really wasn't just there to
help me because my Lyme doctor hadcertainly helped me start making
those steps to getting better.
But it was this.
hearing me and listening tome and saying, you've got this
(25:10):
and the hope you nailed it.
The hope that is therethat I can get better.
And so then I just kept goingwith I'm, I'm a chronic learner,
Yeah, I understand that.
of all things.
And so I was like, I'm just going tocontinue, and be, I would've loved to
gone to like naturopathic school, but withour lifestyle that didn't really work out.
(25:34):
And so, I found the program throughSchool of Applied Functional Medicine.
I thought, this is wonderful.
I can help people at a, at adeeper level and so many people
want to just know that there's hope whilethey're moving forward in their journey,
which is where I think the coachingAspect is so special to be with that
person through the journey through betweenthe doctor's visits and really helping
(25:58):
them Navigate it every step of the way.
That's the thing too, because you'reoften so exhausted and your mind's in
a fog and you're just, when you've beenchronically unwell for multiple years,
it's very difficult to be a really strong,active person advocate for yourself,
and so that's the benefit of havingsomebody walk alongside of you, isn't it?
(26:21):
And actually hear you and believe you and,and, and guide you towards that light.
Yeah,
absolutely, because when you'rein it, you can't get out of it.
And so it's really important tohave that person that can help you.
And that's where I now work with Dr.
(26:42):
Fox in this model where he, he's a, areally, good Lyme chronic illness doctor.
And so he sees the patients and then inbetween, I'm seeing them in between their
visits with him and we're finding suchgood success that way, because people
are having that hand, they're handheld byme, to, to help them walk that journey.
(27:06):
And I get the journey so often, Idon't have to have the same illness as
everybody, but I understand how you canjust be mired down in the thick of it.
There's a grief in that too, that alot of people don't realize they're
experiencing and it's the grief of notbeing able to live a normal healthy life
(27:27):
and do all the things that you want todo, that your mind says you can do, but
your body just absolutely says no way.
And then you go down awhole really mental health
Mmm.
Spiral as well, because when you'renot well, it doesn't affect you just
physically, it affects every aspect ofyour body, in your mind, in your being.
(27:49):
And so, yeah, just, I, I find such, it'swhat I'm supposed to be doing is helping
other people, advocating for other people.
And then when I wrote the book, Ithought this is another way to reach
even more people and to provide thathope and inspiration that you can
come through this on the other side.
(28:10):
And that's so valuable.
I think so many people, need, needthose really grassroots stories
where, you don't hold back.
You share because you know that insharing your warts and all that,
that's going to help somebody else knowthat, they can get through it also.
It's such a valuable thing.
(28:31):
Are you feeling lost, anxious,unsure of how to navigate the
loss of your beautiful loved one.
I don't know where to head next.
Yeah, I get that.
Then you may be interested inthe new offering I've developed
A Letter of Hope and Aroha.
To help you find out whoyou are right here and now.
And how you can navigate that withoutbeing on that emotional roller
(28:54):
coaster feeling out of control.
That's a feeling I really dislikedafter Tahl and then Adrian died.
So I've developed an eight weeksupport program where each week you
get an email of what worked for me.
As well as other tried and true toolsto help with grief, it's a beautiful
calming, mean healing resource thatI think you're really going to like.
(29:19):
And that you can use in youreveryday life to find out what
works for you and what doesn't.
And the great thing is you findyourself feeling stronger and more in
control, so you can work out what youwant life to look like going forward.
So with this sounds like somethingyou would like to check out, head
over to my website, or check out thelink in the episode notes, you're
(29:42):
looking for A Letter of Hope & Aroha.
For those listeners who don't understandwhat functional medicine is, can you just
explain for us now how that all works?
Yeah, so really when functionalmedicine, we're looking at the root
cause of what is causing your illnessIn the health care system, especially
(30:06):
in the US health care system.
I'm going to speak to thatIs there's so much that is
a band aid
Hmm.
Right?
So they don't really dig in.
So I am like a health detective, right?
We're going to figure out whatis going on with your health.
(30:29):
And that might be using specializedtesting outside of what you
would find at your regular lab.
We do different kinds of tests.
Uh, functional tests, but it'sreally continuing to work on your
case as we look for the root cause.
And that might be that we'reuncovering layers of things.
This often happens where you think thatyou've gotten to one thing, but you
(30:52):
come to another layer and another layer.
And so it's continuing to workthrough that so that we can
help you create optimal health.
A lot of experiences are exactly that,embedding themselves as layers and,
and that could have been happeningfrom, you know, such a young age,
(31:13):
very early in your childhood,and you just go on and on and on.
Right.
What do you see as some ofthe main root causes that are
showing up over and over again?
Hmm.
Stress.
Um, over and over.
Of course, there's genetic factors,but those are, you can be born with
(31:34):
any sort of set of genetic factors,but it doesn't have to be expressed.
We, they are expressed when weturn them on with things like
stress, environmental things.
That can be poor air qualitythat could be living in a really,
unhealthy environment, with, uh,with in a spouse or partner sort of
(31:55):
environment, it can be poor air quality.
When I lived in Lagos, itwas terrible air quality.
I was sick all the time.
That was definitely helping,not helping me, uh, get better.
So I would say, and then loneliness.
Is another driver of disease, whichwe talked about not having community.
(32:15):
People get sick too, they dowithdraw, especially when they're
being told over and over again.
It's just in your mind.
Nobody's believing them.
Nobody's understandingwhat's going on with them.
And so, yeah, they can just withdraw into
they withdraw and then they justget sicker because they don't
have anyone there supporting them.
(32:37):
Um, so those are like sort of the, the,those broader things that we see as root
cause more and more everyone is complex.
That is what we're seeing.
So, Yeah.
It could be that you have hormoneimbalance that is a root cause of
something, but at that you're, that's notthe root cause because there's something
(32:59):
that's causing your hormone imbalance.
And a lot of that goesback to your gut health.
And when we live in the society thatwe do, our gut health takes a huge
Hit.
turn for the worse, right?
Because it's impacted by everythingfrom what we're consuming food wise,
what we're consuming visually, ourconversations with people and
(33:24):
it's where our immune system sits.
So, it's often it goes back to the gut.
Yeah.
then those other environmental factors.
Yeah.
Just, um, Just on the topic of stress,I remember when I was doing a before
school check program where we didthis massive screening for four year
(33:44):
olds just to ensure they could startschool in the best possible health.
Part of that we were doing, educatingpeople on the stress associated with
Domestic violence and, even, withsomebody carrying a baby and being
in a violent situation and the stressacted as cortisol, destroying the
(34:06):
brain cells in these little babies.
And so right from the get go, they wereon the back foot and it was like really
good for a lot of our men to understand.
But women as well, but also men tounderstand the effects of, of, of yelling
(34:26):
and treating somebody in such a way andhow that was affecting their partner
and also their, their unborn children.
Yeah.
Everything now we're seeing thatis happening in utero is really
shocking, all the toxins thatwe're finding in the umbilical cord.
(34:47):
Now that is setting up generationsof children for chronic illness.
You've already set the stagefor that along with things like
you're saying, domestic violence,all of these things play into
setting up a society that will be.
Chronically ill.
(35:07):
So what's the solution?
Small question.
Community.
Absolutely
If only it was that easy though, right?
I mean, I think it is stress reduction.
I think it's community.
I, I think it is getting away from thismindset of, I must do everything on my
(35:29):
own and being okay with asking for help.
We are not taught to ask for help.
I also, this person.
can see my reaction here, can't you?
Cause that's taken me many, many years.
Like I'm nearly 60 and I wouldjust say now I'm only comfortable
now asking people for help.
(35:50):
Yeah, it's something that we were nottaught to do, and so there are just,
there are layers to, to getting to ahealthier society, stopping using all
the pesticides and the herbicides,but those are huge issues that we Um,
personally cannot probably take on.
(36:11):
Right?
You know, you can educate around it.
You can definitely reduce your toxicburden, but we're just so ensnared
in this toxicity that's aroundus all the time now, on varying
levels, reducing your screen time.
Another thing that, is hugelybeneficial for your health.
(36:32):
But I think as individuals it's it'slooking at like how can I help others?
How can I be of service?
I
How can I create a better world?
In my part of the world.
You know, cause it starts with us.
It starts with individuals.
I share with people, with listeners,something that's very, key to my life is
(36:55):
that, especially after when my daughterdied, being able to go out and help others
actually was so healing for me becauseit gave me a break from grief But it
also enabled me to be helping people thatweren't so fortunate in another area.
I was helping youth get to and frompractices because they didn't have
(37:18):
transport or supportive familiesand we were feeding them at the
practice and that sort of thing.
And honestly, the benefits from justdoing something as simple as that, Oh,
it used to just fill my heart everysingle time and, and now I still do it,
my highlight of my week is when I goout and I just say, no, how can I help?
(37:42):
Yeah.
use me.
Yeah.
So yeah, I agree with you.
That's so healing.
And I think.
If we encourage more people to dothat, because often they think, Oh,
I'm so sick, I can't go and do that.
But there's always something somebodycan do, even if it's just for one hour.
For sure.
It, we don't know the impact we're havingon other people, You know, and how we're
(38:07):
helping or, and, and how that helps us.
Like we've, we've just been saying, itis, it's bene it's mutually beneficial.
And it's just something I think thatwe can do to make our world better,
Hmm.
you know, not just our health, butour world is, is by helping those
that, like you said, might not be asfortunate or have their own issues.
(38:28):
It doesn't have to mirror thesame issue that you're facing.
But it's just putting yourselfout there in that way.
Yeah, I agree with you first time andI think we do have groups of people now
shifting and being aware of the importanceof this and I think that started with the
(38:50):
pandemic and people having to take stockof their life and was it really important
to think you know, allowing them to behappy, especially when they got to spend
more time at home with their family again.
And, for some peoplethat never, ever had that.
And just the joy of just being able tojust, hang out with your kids and your
(39:12):
spouse and quality time without therealways being something to rush onto.
So I think that was,very, very important.
Yeah.
That's how you share.
Yeah, share with us about your book now.
Just tell us what your book is aboutbecause it's a, it's a book like
I said on so many different levelsand, and I'm sure people reading
(39:35):
this are going to just love it.
So what, what
Yeah, it kind of it reaches across somany spectrums of the human experience.
And so I hope it reallytouches so many people.
So the name of my book is Passportsand Parasites and it's my memoir
of the last 15 years of my life, Icould probably write a whole other
(39:57):
memoir in my childhood, but thatwould have been a whole nother book.
And so it really takes off in Baghdad,and you, you find me, you know, flying
on a helicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it, it, it could beone part travel, adventure story,
but I've really wove my life our lifeinto it and it became the story of
(40:20):
me of us my family and you You knowis also like the story of me and my
best friend who have not lived closetogether in decades really but that That
friendship, and so If you love traveladventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointedand if you're looking for the hope
(40:44):
and inspiration in your own life andhealing journey I cover that as well.
It really is a book that I think cantouch a lot of people on a lot of
different levels And so it reallytakes off in Baghdad, and you,
you find me, you know, flying on ahelicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it, it, it could beone part travel, adventure story,
(41:09):
but I've really wove my life our lifeinto it and it became the story of
me of us my family and you You knowis also like the story of me and my
best friend who have not lived closetogether in decades really but that That
(41:30):
friendship, and so If you love traveladventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointedand if you're looking for the hope
and inspiration in your own life andhealing journey I cover that as well.
It really is a book that Ithink can touch a lot of people
(41:51):
on a lot of different levels
What were your greatestlearnings from writing this book?
Yeah,
That I had a lot of healingthat I still needed to do, I
thought, oh, I'm I'm in remission.
I'm good, you know, and then I thought wowI I had so much to work through Knowing
(42:17):
I found myself thinking wow, I reallylove this stressful environment I could do
this writing the book was a whole notherstressful environment, you know that I
pushed myself right to the edge again Andi'm like, okay Take stock of this, Vashti.
Like, this is something thatyou can continue to work on.
It's how you are taking care of yourself.
(42:39):
I help other people takecare of themselves every day.
But continuing to do that work forme, the power of friendship, the power
of community, that's something that Ihadn't Really, Helen, I had known and
had been paramount in my life, but I hadnever realized the importance of it in
my own journey until I wrote the book.
(43:01):
And I was like, well, there it is.
This is the theme of the book.
It's community.
and actually it's unravelling life, isn'tit, and taking it back down to keeping
things simple as to what is important.
Yeah.
We really learned with the pandemic, Ithink as well, you know, very difficult
(43:23):
time, but there are a lot of realtakeaways to, to this and, and that's,
the book came out of after the pandemic.
Um, and you read about the pandemicpart of the book in the book as well.
And, you know, it's.
you were, where wereyou when that broke out?
You were in Nigeria,
are in Nigeria and we, thestate department went on what
(43:44):
is called authorized departure.
They will, they authorize youto leave post and they pay for
you to go to your home country.
And usually that is when civilunrest or, a huge natural disaster
has happened or something that,country by country that may happen.
And this was the first time it was global.
So like everywhere that we haveembassies and consulates in the
(44:05):
world, we're on authorized departure.
And we had wanted to stay,but, we weren't sure how it
was going to go down there.
And the medical care in Nigeria is, is notoptimal by any stretch of the imagination.
And we decided, for my healthspecifically, it would probably
(44:27):
be beneficial to leave becausewe didn't know if something
happened, would we be able to be.
Meta fact or evacuated out, right?
There was everybody was trying to beevacuated across the world, right?
There was no safer place than one placethan the other So, you know It was like
what do I do and I really we went aroundand around as a family about what to
(44:48):
do because we wanted to stay together,but ultimately I made the decision
to leave with our, our two daughtersand go to the Seattle area while my
husband stayed behind, because he'sessential staff and he couldn't leave.
I
Oh, really?
So you were separated?
Yeah, we were separated, and thatwas a really difficult decision, and
(45:09):
I went home to Seattle, home ish.
I don't really have a home, but, andit was wonderful there because Dr.
Fox is in Seattle, my mom, my best friend.
So there were people that were there,not that we were seeing everybody,
but it was still nice to be there.
And that's where I really hada complete breakdown, though.
I was like the safest Ishould have ever been.
And that's where I completely, well,I was, I was diagnosed with PTSD.
(45:34):
It was all the years of the things thathad happened, not dealing with them.
Wow.
in this quarantine house thatI was in with my daughters.
So then long, long story short.
Several months went by, my husband'stour in Nigeria ended, he came to the U.
(45:54):
S.
and then we went down to Curaçao inthe Dutch Caribbean, just off the
coast of Venezuela and Colombia.
And that's where we wereduring the pandemic.
From 2020 until the 2023.
So
to be, is it?
Yeah.
there, there were no cases on the island.
But they also weren't allowing anycommercial airlines in and that
(46:17):
works well for an island for a point.
Right.
And then, because it was anisland and it's warm all the
time, we were able to be outside.
And that was really when we found wefell in love with mountain biking.
You were saying, you know, youfinding these things that you're
doing as a family and you're so right.
We We really came together as family,spending so much time together, being
(46:39):
able to go out and we got the lastcouple of bikes that were being sold
at the bike store on the island,you know, and we're just like, okay,
we're going to go ride our bikes now.
And, and, so it was a nice place.
The weather was always,lovely for the most part.
So lots of outdoor time.
We, we really were able to.
Go on with life for the most part as ifit was normal, there were a few times that
(47:05):
the kids were in school when the numberswould get too high or whatever, because
the hospital would get overwhelmed.
And so they would then, put restrictionsin place, for the population of the
Island because they just couldn't,where are you going to send people?
the, the hospital wascompletely overwhelmed.
But overall it was, you you know,but, It's really an excellent
(47:27):
place to be during COVID.
And one of my favorite thingsduring that time was just walking.
I was lucky.
I lived in a rural area thatwas very close to a town,
so, I had the best of both.
But I could just walk these beaches.
Back country roads and there was notraffic and there was nobody on them
(47:50):
and I would just walk and and I'd finda different way to walk each time and
so I would be discovering new thingsbut it was just, it was magical.
I
was.
treasure, treasure, treasure that time.
And, and not having all the.
I mean, there was plenty of stress,but not having the Go, go, go.
I think was hugely beneficial.
(48:12):
And now I find myself as we'reobviously back in this go, go, go.
And I'm like, I don't want to do this.
And it's good to recognize that becausethat's what we were not recognizing.
We just thought that waslife, get on, deal with it.
But now we know that it can be different.
So we, can try and chooseto do things differently.
(48:33):
Vashti, what does your lifelook like for you now, today?
Today, it's we're backin the United States.
We live in the DC area for acouple of years, and it's it's
pretty much just right now.
It's promoting the book.
It's people asking me ifI'm writing another book.
It's getting, great reviews,which is just exciting.
(48:55):
And all you can ask for as an authoris to, to touch other people's lives.
And you know, I'm just a momand a business owner and a wife.
And in my, my, my day to day ispretty much like everybody else.
Never just.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Never just exactly.
But yeah, I mean, it's, it's pretty muchlike every day, every day life right now.
(49:21):
And it's a, it's interesting to come back.
After being away for, wewere gone for 6 years.
And.
I don't know.
There's so much to take away fromwhen you live in other places
and then incorporating that intohow you, you live your life.
Yeah, absolutely.
(49:43):
Yeah.
So I always finish up our interviewswith a couple of questions.
So the first question to you is, what isthe best thing that has happened to you
so far today, right here, now, today?
Today.
My husband had the day offand we were able to just spend
some extra time together, whichhas been really, really nice.
(50:03):
So that is probably been thebest thing to happen today.
And then, and, and talkingto you, this has been lovely.
Oh, great.
I was just going to say, andhere I am interrupting your time
No, he has gone off.
He's gone off to get the kids.
But, no, it was, it's just nice when youhave these sort of unexpected moments,
(50:25):
you know, um, together and, and somethingthat we've really learned to value
Oh, that's lovely.
I like that.
What is something thatyou are most grateful for?
this life that I never saw living.
It has been filled with ups and downs.
And, lots of different stressors, butit's, it's been magical in so many ways
(50:49):
or is, I wouldn't change it for anything.
I know, to be in the point you aretoday, being able to serve others,
help others on their own journey,you couldn't have done that unless
you went through that whole process.
Journey yourself and yeah, yeah.
So sometimes we have tojust wear it all, don't we?
To get to the, what wereally need to be doing.
(51:12):
Yeah, I feel that too.
When you have moments in yourday that are not going so
well and they turn to custard.
What is your go to to pivot out of that?
Oh, that's a really good question.
Um, oftentimes I really tryto just recenter myself.
I'm a big fan of breathingexercises and just really trying to
(51:34):
recenter myself and knowing that.
Things are going to be okay or whatever.
Isn't my fault or whatever, you know?
So I would say breathing exercisesand getting outside and, and take it
a few minutes to go for a walk andjust breathe some fresh air and just
separate myself from, from whateverit might be going on, you know,
(51:55):
Yeah, great.
What would you like toleave our listeners with?
What parting comments?
If you're in the thick of it,there is, really there's hope and.
At the end of the tunnel,you can, get through this.
There are other people out there like you.
I think it's so important toknow that you're not alone.
Oh, great.
I like this.
(52:15):
my message for people isthat they are not alone.
Yeah, that's a good message.
So I will have the links in theepisode notes to your fabulous book,
which is Passports and Parasites.
And I've, I've downloaded it toread because like I was, I was
reading all these reviews andgoing, Oh, I have to read this.
Oh,
(52:35):
And I'm sorry I didn't get toit before I interviewed you.
So, you know, like I have.
Yeah.
I often have so many books toread and then I think, oh man,
I can completely understand.
I hope you love it.
You know, it is everything.
And so I just, I, I've been overwhelmedwith the reviews and the response.
(52:58):
It's been more than I ever dreamed of.
So I, I really hope you love it.
yeah, I think I will because those,those reviews are incredible and
very deserving by the sounds of it.
So I can't wait and I'll letyou know, I'll let you know,
yes, please do.
share with our listeners howthey can reach you if they want
to right now before the, yeah.
(53:18):
Great.
You can find me at mywebsite, VashtaiConahaley.
com.
That's where you will learnabout the work I do with other
people, how I serve other people.
You can also find your freechapter to the book there.
If you want to, buy thebook, you can go on Amazon.
It's available across allAmazon platforms, soon to
be on other booksellers.
(53:40):
And, you can also find me onInstagram at VashtaiConahaley.
Great.
And you're going to do an audio version.
I am.
That is coming up.
So you, yes, multiple people have askedme about that and I really wanted to get
it done, but I'm hoping by the springthat we'll have that audible version out.
Fantastic.
Vashti, I really appreciate yousharing your incredible experiences
(54:04):
with us and that journey that's ledyou to doing what you're doing now in
functional medicine and, and coachingothers through that journey themselves.
And you know, I'm sure there's a lotof people who are going to be listening
that can really relate to the informationthat you've shared today and you've
just given us all so much hope, so muchinspiration and I'm really, really
(54:27):
grateful for that and for your time today.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for having me on.
It's been such a pleasure.
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