February 13, 2025 • 17 mins
Welcome, everyone! Today, we're exploring crucial themes related to our lives in the digital age.
We begin with The Cult of Curated Self, examining the psychological impact of idealized online personas on authenticity and self-worth. Next, we address FOMO and the insecurities driving compulsive social media use, highlighting how constant comparison affects body image and relationships.
We analyze the Performance Pressure Cooker created by societal expectations, leading to a relentless pursuit of validation and its mental health consequences. As we consider the Digital Disconnect, we explore how social media impacts our mood, attention, and relationships, particularly through Dopamine Nation and the effects of algorithms in creating Echo Chambers.
Additionally, we discuss the Loneliness Epidemic and its correlation with social media use, emphasizing how superficial online connections can undermine real-world relationships.
Shifting to Reclaiming Our Reality, we recognize the benefits of Digital Detoxification for mental clarity and deeper self-connection. Embracing Mindful Presence and cultivating Authentic Connection are vital for fostering genuine relationships in a digital world.
As we strive for a brighter future, we encourage moving from Comparison to Compassion by critically analyzing online content and challenging unrealistic beauty standards. Finally, we emphasize the importance of Digital Literacy and building a Supportive Community to drive positive change.
By engaging with these themes, we can foster meaningful discussions that resonate deeply with us all. Thank you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Do you remember back in the day when social media was supposed to connect everybody and
(00:13):
now all of the social media CEOs told us that it was meant to unify and make us feel amazing
whenever we reach out to our dear friends or dear family if we are 60 plus and on Facebook.
So sorry, let me not diss anyone here.
(00:35):
But it makes you feel more disconnected, more anxious, and I would even say more insecure
than ever before.
We have mental health issues on the rise on the daily for younger and younger people.
And we're really seeing, I would say, the ugly truth of what's happening in real life
that's kind of even happening online too.
(00:57):
Social media kind of warps itself into like the worth and the feeling comparisons and
trying to chase validation to get us to all chase towards nothingness because it's not
real.
It's all something from online.
But most importantly, most importantly, let me focus, is I think that we have to learn
(01:21):
how to gain back the control that we really have unconsciously taken away.
Welcome or welcome back to the Behavioral Blueprint podcast.
My name is Solana.
My name is Solana.
Yes, Solana.
And today's episode title is going to be the ugly truth about being online and how social
(01:42):
media is rewiring us and how social media is rewiring us truly from within.
I think the most important part of my conversation today is really going to be segment three,
the loneliness and how we deal with the digital disconnected people.
(02:04):
And also my favorite and first is really how we go right into what we look at when we deal
with being on social media.
If you already have not, go ahead and subscribe for us online and on our YouTube, of course,
again, subscribe.
(02:25):
And for our podcast platform, go ahead and give us a five star rating and go ahead and
give us a thumbs up if you can, regardless of the platform.
Oh, and also give us a follow as well.
Since we're going to go straight into it, I really want to tell everyone that this episode
is going to be very honest, if that makes sense.
(02:49):
We're going to look at more of the psychological impact of what the mind goes through when
we deal with social media from the beginning all the way to what it really looks like now.
So my biggest issue that I've dealt with growing up was comparing myself online to other people
(03:11):
that had really no extension of me except for the fact that they were this higher being
that I thought was most important and I wasn't important at all.
So I had like value issues when it came down to the pressure to like be aesthetic or be
this thing or get this thing or get this thing.
(03:32):
And I think a lot of girls deal with the weird feeling of having to compete with what the
trends really look like day to day.
And it can, of course, psychologically impact how we look at ourselves and how we kind of
even create self-doubt at a young age.
(03:53):
My forms of like performing were definitely in a lot of different stages of my life, but
I definitely know it got worse when social media really came around with what we really
had to do with comparing ourselves.
I definitely would say I wasn't in the lifestyle of getting new things every week or every
(04:16):
month even.
Like I was a big size plus size girl.
So what I really looked at was unfortunately like the opposite of what made the most sense
to myself.
I definitely would say it kind of messes with how you go into your future and how you go
(04:37):
into what is something that you like.
Is it real or is it just something that you liked for validation?
Like you have to go through that funneling path and sometimes it's a subconscious choice.
So whenever you ask yourself when you're listening is, this is the question that I wrote down.
How much of what we post is actually real or how much is what we post for validation?
(05:00):
For myself, I recently made a new account and I am kind of using it like a guinea pig
because right now I'm not even like getting huge interactions.
I'm posting every day and I'm doing really, I would say devotional content, faithful content
and just getting to know what I think my style type is when it comes down to creating content
(05:23):
on a daily.
I know that that actually is real because I used to have moments of performatism, if
that's how you say it, with noticing how much I did not really like make content about myself.
(05:43):
I used to make content really more towards what I thought other people liked when that's
really not the point of social media.
The point of social media is to show yourself.
You don't always have to like revolve everything around, of course, what you like because it
really should be more about you.
(06:06):
Talking about the choices that we really have to make between is it authentic or is it validation?
Coming into segment two, the performance pressure cooker.
How do we go through the pressure of being on social media day to day and also even like
the choices that we make with comments, what we decide to interact with and also what we
(06:31):
look at when we deal with seeing other people.
So for myself, I noticed that I used to be obsessed with commenting things.
Like I used to be obsessed with saying the funniest comments so I can get the most likes
on a TikTok or not posting anything again.
And then looking at like all these different types of tweets I see online that don't require
(06:57):
me to show my face.
Like there's weird little maneuvers that I used to do growing up that made me like not
really show my face.
And like saying this now, of course, definitely sounds, I would say, a little bit odd, but
it was just forms of me not knowing myself.
(07:17):
And of course, that's the first step to acknowledging who you are.
But I definitely would say you deal with these things being able to speak up about them and
then fixing them.
So what I also noticed about myself was being able to compare and then also have the burnout.
(07:39):
So partial of the reason why I had moments of not showing my face was I used to feel
like I fluctuated like with my weight all the time.
And it's like a mental cost of how I just said earlier, how I grew up as a chunky girl.
Like I grew up really plus size, really curvy.
(08:00):
And what I used to look at online was basically the comparison of younger or I'm sorry, not
younger girls, more skinnier girls and wishing that I was this thing.
When in reality, I was just fine the way that I was.
But how society makes myself look at myself was, of course, the bigger problem.
(08:25):
My point where I had to have that reality check was I would definitely say when I kept
going through this cycle over and over and over and over and over again, like this cycle
continued on for years where I kept having the dopamine, like where I was obsessed with
comments and then I kept going through the burnout.
And then also, I would even say like comparison and comparison culture, like how I was always
(08:51):
trying to perform to be another thing that wasn't real.
I talked about this on my last episode, but it isn't fair to yourself where you're not
the most authentic version of yourself.
Like I'm still today learning who I am and learning where I come from and where I have
to learn things because I'm not perfect.
(09:13):
I've hurt people before.
I've done like very terrible things.
And I'm also sometimes a little bit naive, but I've definitely learned from the situations
that I've gone through that make me realize like, hey, you really have to grow past this
negative cycle.
Now this is what happens whenever we build fake connections rather than actually building
(09:37):
real connections with people in real life.
I remember when I was a kid, it was so easy to go knock on my friend's door or my friend's
like house and go hang out with them for a couple hours and then get so tired and then
just go to sleep because we all lived in the same apartment complex versus me texting a
(10:00):
friend and they live like hours away or we just don't see each other in person anymore
because it's just of course easier to reach each other over the phone.
Sometimes we have a lot of relationships like that, but we have to realize like we lose
meaningful interactions with our friends, with our partners, with our families, even
(10:24):
whenever we don't really connect in the moments where I feel like we have to.
So I'm pro being able to reach out and be with your friends in person because it's a
shared gift in itself to be able to have shared time with your family and friends.
And then I would definitely say just combat it, like be able to know like, if you know
(10:46):
that friend is 15 minutes away, go pick them up and you're going to be just fine.
That is your friend.
Another issue I've noticed that has kind of like disconnected us as people is our attention
span is actually so shot and it's kind of an issue.
I'm more in my bag of like reading the Bible right now.
(11:09):
So I'm like gaining my attention span back when it comes down to me studying.
And then I also have other books that I'm into right now and it's building me back up
to like my attention span being better.
But I'm telling you, before this, I was cooked.
Like I used to like lose my mind when something was going past 15 minutes.
(11:32):
Or I used to hate like YouTube videos going past like the time frame of when I think a
natural ad should be.
But I definitely would say like these forms of attention span issues and like losing our
attention span is an issue because I feel like people should grow to be wise, grow to
(11:56):
be patient, grow to be understanding.
And us losing like I would say the most natural thing that we have as people that comes with
us as people, if of course we learn these types of things is important.
So I definitely would say being able to reclaim that back and choose what you're learning
(12:20):
and digesting every day is a form of self-love.
So this is the final chapter of how you really need to become more of the person that is
more present in the reality.
One, get off your phone, unfollow people, mute people, block people, cleanse your feed
(12:44):
of anything that does not serve you.
Anything that annoys you, irritates you, puts you in a bad mood, puts you in a negative
spirit, remove it.
Because the more you project that energy, the more it will come back until your life.
Like I'm not the one who makes the rules.
(13:05):
I'm the one that just has to go by them.
Step two, grow to have a compassionate heart with yourself and be able to be more present
with things that are I would say natural forms of like dopamine.
Like I'm learning or I used to train with basketball when I was in high school.
And my favorite part of practice was the piece that I had whenever I was doing jumping jacks.
(13:30):
And that's a form of course of me working out, but then that's also a form of like dopamine.
I'm able to get myself out of the house, get myself into a place where I'm in a space of
calm and do over a hundred jumping jacks.
And people think a hundred jumping jacks is difficult when in reality it's not that difficult.
(13:52):
It's really not that difficult.
My coach used to be strict on me.
He said, do a hundred jumping jacks, no mess ups.
But once you really learn how to get into that skill and that was like, I would say
five minutes apart of my practice, I realized that I need to be more intentional, more present
with my body.
Cause I loved that.
(14:13):
I loved it.
My favorite things I was saying right now in the gym, whenever I go to the gym, I need
to actually get my gym membership for 2025, but it definitely would be going back to be
present on the stair master cause the stair master, oh my God, that will laser you focus.
You're thinking you're on the stair master for 50 minutes.
(14:35):
It's three minutes on the stair master, but just focusing back to the point, like be able
to recognize like what social media has done to you, keeping you in that room, doom scrolling
and how you need to get out of that space, how you need to grow from where I would say
social media kind of pulls you into.
And then number three, just use social media with a purpose.
(14:58):
Know that it's not too deep, but then also know that it's a tool.
Know that you can like platform off of it.
You don't have to be become obsessed with it to be able to profit from it and know like
the people that you should have in your feed and in your, I would say little circle of
who you follow your little bubble or just people that inspire you, people that could
(15:20):
try to educate you or try to teach you about the things you interest in.
And then also like people that can uplift you.
So doing those, I would say monthly or like every three months, go ahead and like just
unfollow the people you know you don't like or that you just follow and you don't even
realize that you follow because that happens more times than not.
(15:41):
I definitely will tell you that.
So just be careful and be able to like go into the steps of what I told you, like be
able to rise up, be able to like get into that like understanding of what social media
could do to you, know what it has to your health, and then also just be able to find
(16:04):
a solution out of all of these different things.
So just know that 2025 is not going to let you just continue another year where you're
just stuck into a place like 2025 is going to pull you out of that.
You're not going to be just more in a space where you can't think that you're going to
survive out of this funk.
(16:25):
It's all a system and you have to just change your environment.
You have to change parts of who you are to be able to grow.
So I wish you nothing but the best and you have a wonderful rest of your day.
I appreciate you and thank you so much for listening.
Do you remember back in the day when social media was supposed to connect everybody and
(00:13):
now all of the social media CEOs told us that it was meant to unify and make us feel amazing
whenever we reach out to our dear friends or dear family if we are 60 plus and on Facebook.
So sorry, let me not diss anyone here.
(00:35):
But it makes you feel more disconnected, more anxious, and I would even say more insecure
than ever before.
We have mental health issues on the rise on the daily for younger and younger people.
And we're really seeing, I would say, the ugly truth of what's happening in real life
that's kind of even happening online too.
(00:57):
Social media kind of warps itself into like the worth and the feeling comparisons and
trying to chase validation to get us to all chase towards nothingness because it's not
real.
It's all something from online.
But most importantly, most importantly, let me focus, is I think that we have to learn
(01:21):
how to gain back the control that we really have unconsciously taken away.
Welcome or welcome back to the Behavioral Blueprint podcast.
My name is Solana.
My name is Solana.
Yes, Solana.
And today's episode title is going to be the ugly truth about being online and how social
(01:42):
media is rewiring us and how social media is rewiring us truly from within.
I think the most important part of my conversation today is really going to be segment three,
the loneliness and how we deal with the digital disconnected people.
(02:04):
And also my favorite and first is really how we go right into what we look at when we deal
with being on social media.
If you already have not, go ahead and subscribe for us online and on our YouTube, of course,
again, subscribe.
(02:25):
And for our podcast platform, go ahead and give us a five star rating and go ahead and
give us a thumbs up if you can, regardless of the platform.
Oh, and also give us a follow as well.
Since we're going to go straight into it, I really want to tell everyone that this episode
is going to be very honest, if that makes sense.
(02:49):
We're going to look at more of the psychological impact of what the mind goes through when
we deal with social media from the beginning all the way to what it really looks like now.
So my biggest issue that I've dealt with growing up was comparing myself online to other people
(03:11):
that had really no extension of me except for the fact that they were this higher being
that I thought was most important and I wasn't important at all.
So I had like value issues when it came down to the pressure to like be aesthetic or be
this thing or get this thing or get this thing.
(03:32):
And I think a lot of girls deal with the weird feeling of having to compete with what the
trends really look like day to day.
And it can, of course, psychologically impact how we look at ourselves and how we kind of
even create self-doubt at a young age.
(03:53):
My forms of like performing were definitely in a lot of different stages of my life, but
I definitely know it got worse when social media really came around with what we really
had to do with comparing ourselves.
I definitely would say I wasn't in the lifestyle of getting new things every week or every
(04:16):
month even.
Like I was a big size plus size girl.
So what I really looked at was unfortunately like the opposite of what made the most sense
to myself.
I definitely would say it kind of messes with how you go into your future and how you go
(04:37):
into what is something that you like.
Is it real or is it just something that you liked for validation?
Like you have to go through that funneling path and sometimes it's a subconscious choice.
So whenever you ask yourself when you're listening is, this is the question that I wrote down.
How much of what we post is actually real or how much is what we post for validation?
(05:00):
For myself, I recently made a new account and I am kind of using it like a guinea pig
because right now I'm not even like getting huge interactions.
I'm posting every day and I'm doing really, I would say devotional content, faithful content
and just getting to know what I think my style type is when it comes down to creating content
(05:23):
on a daily.
I know that that actually is real because I used to have moments of performatism, if
that's how you say it, with noticing how much I did not really like make content about myself.
(05:43):
I used to make content really more towards what I thought other people liked when that's
really not the point of social media.
The point of social media is to show yourself.
You don't always have to like revolve everything around, of course, what you like because it
really should be more about you.
(06:06):
Talking about the choices that we really have to make between is it authentic or is it validation?
Coming into segment two, the performance pressure cooker.
How do we go through the pressure of being on social media day to day and also even like
the choices that we make with comments, what we decide to interact with and also what we
(06:31):
look at when we deal with seeing other people.
So for myself, I noticed that I used to be obsessed with commenting things.
Like I used to be obsessed with saying the funniest comments so I can get the most likes
on a TikTok or not posting anything again.
And then looking at like all these different types of tweets I see online that don't require
(06:57):
me to show my face.
Like there's weird little maneuvers that I used to do growing up that made me like not
really show my face.
And like saying this now, of course, definitely sounds, I would say, a little bit odd, but
it was just forms of me not knowing myself.
(07:17):
And of course, that's the first step to acknowledging who you are.
But I definitely would say you deal with these things being able to speak up about them and
then fixing them.
So what I also noticed about myself was being able to compare and then also have the burnout.
(07:39):
So partial of the reason why I had moments of not showing my face was I used to feel
like I fluctuated like with my weight all the time.
And it's like a mental cost of how I just said earlier, how I grew up as a chunky girl.
Like I grew up really plus size, really curvy.
(08:00):
And what I used to look at online was basically the comparison of younger or I'm sorry, not
younger girls, more skinnier girls and wishing that I was this thing.
When in reality, I was just fine the way that I was.
But how society makes myself look at myself was, of course, the bigger problem.
(08:25):
My point where I had to have that reality check was I would definitely say when I kept
going through this cycle over and over and over and over and over again, like this cycle
continued on for years where I kept having the dopamine, like where I was obsessed with
comments and then I kept going through the burnout.
And then also, I would even say like comparison and comparison culture, like how I was always
(08:51):
trying to perform to be another thing that wasn't real.
I talked about this on my last episode, but it isn't fair to yourself where you're not
the most authentic version of yourself.
Like I'm still today learning who I am and learning where I come from and where I have
to learn things because I'm not perfect.
(09:13):
I've hurt people before.
I've done like very terrible things.
And I'm also sometimes a little bit naive, but I've definitely learned from the situations
that I've gone through that make me realize like, hey, you really have to grow past this
negative cycle.
Now this is what happens whenever we build fake connections rather than actually building
(09:37):
real connections with people in real life.
I remember when I was a kid, it was so easy to go knock on my friend's door or my friend's
like house and go hang out with them for a couple hours and then get so tired and then
just go to sleep because we all lived in the same apartment complex versus me texting a
(10:00):
friend and they live like hours away or we just don't see each other in person anymore
because it's just of course easier to reach each other over the phone.
Sometimes we have a lot of relationships like that, but we have to realize like we lose
meaningful interactions with our friends, with our partners, with our families, even
(10:24):
whenever we don't really connect in the moments where I feel like we have to.
So I'm pro being able to reach out and be with your friends in person because it's a
shared gift in itself to be able to have shared time with your family and friends.
And then I would definitely say just combat it, like be able to know like, if you know
(10:46):
that friend is 15 minutes away, go pick them up and you're going to be just fine.
That is your friend.
Another issue I've noticed that has kind of like disconnected us as people is our attention
span is actually so shot and it's kind of an issue.
I'm more in my bag of like reading the Bible right now.
(11:09):
So I'm like gaining my attention span back when it comes down to me studying.
And then I also have other books that I'm into right now and it's building me back up
to like my attention span being better.
But I'm telling you, before this, I was cooked.
Like I used to like lose my mind when something was going past 15 minutes.
(11:32):
Or I used to hate like YouTube videos going past like the time frame of when I think a
natural ad should be.
But I definitely would say like these forms of attention span issues and like losing our
attention span is an issue because I feel like people should grow to be wise, grow to
(11:56):
be patient, grow to be understanding.
And us losing like I would say the most natural thing that we have as people that comes with
us as people, if of course we learn these types of things is important.
So I definitely would say being able to reclaim that back and choose what you're learning
(12:20):
and digesting every day is a form of self-love.
So this is the final chapter of how you really need to become more of the person that is
more present in the reality.
One, get off your phone, unfollow people, mute people, block people, cleanse your feed
(12:44):
of anything that does not serve you.
Anything that annoys you, irritates you, puts you in a bad mood, puts you in a negative
spirit, remove it.
Because the more you project that energy, the more it will come back until your life.
Like I'm not the one who makes the rules.
(13:05):
I'm the one that just has to go by them.
Step two, grow to have a compassionate heart with yourself and be able to be more present
with things that are I would say natural forms of like dopamine.
Like I'm learning or I used to train with basketball when I was in high school.
And my favorite part of practice was the piece that I had whenever I was doing jumping jacks.
(13:30):
And that's a form of course of me working out, but then that's also a form of like dopamine.
I'm able to get myself out of the house, get myself into a place where I'm in a space of
calm and do over a hundred jumping jacks.
And people think a hundred jumping jacks is difficult when in reality it's not that difficult.
(13:52):
It's really not that difficult.
My coach used to be strict on me.
He said, do a hundred jumping jacks, no mess ups.
But once you really learn how to get into that skill and that was like, I would say
five minutes apart of my practice, I realized that I need to be more intentional, more present
with my body.
Cause I loved that.
(14:13):
I loved it.
My favorite things I was saying right now in the gym, whenever I go to the gym, I need
to actually get my gym membership for 2025, but it definitely would be going back to be
present on the stair master cause the stair master, oh my God, that will laser you focus.
You're thinking you're on the stair master for 50 minutes.
(14:35):
It's three minutes on the stair master, but just focusing back to the point, like be able
to recognize like what social media has done to you, keeping you in that room, doom scrolling
and how you need to get out of that space, how you need to grow from where I would say
social media kind of pulls you into.
And then number three, just use social media with a purpose.
(14:58):
Know that it's not too deep, but then also know that it's a tool.
Know that you can like platform off of it.
You don't have to be become obsessed with it to be able to profit from it and know like
the people that you should have in your feed and in your, I would say little circle of
who you follow your little bubble or just people that inspire you, people that could
(15:20):
try to educate you or try to teach you about the things you interest in.
And then also like people that can uplift you.
So doing those, I would say monthly or like every three months, go ahead and like just
unfollow the people you know you don't like or that you just follow and you don't even
realize that you follow because that happens more times than not.
(15:41):
I definitely will tell you that.
So just be careful and be able to like go into the steps of what I told you, like be
able to rise up, be able to like get into that like understanding of what social media
could do to you, know what it has to your health, and then also just be able to find
(16:04):
a solution out of all of these different things.
So just know that 2025 is not going to let you just continue another year where you're
just stuck into a place like 2025 is going to pull you out of that.
You're not going to be just more in a space where you can't think that you're going to
survive out of this funk.
(16:25):
It's all a system and you have to just change your environment.
You have to change parts of who you are to be able to grow.
So I wish you nothing but the best and you have a wonderful rest of your day.
I appreciate you and thank you so much for listening.
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