September 19, 2024 • 20 mins
Have you ever found yourself repeating the same patterns or struggling in relationships without understanding why? The roots of these challenges might lie deeper than you think—possibly in childhood emotional neglect. In today’s episode of The Behavioral Blueprint Podcast, we’re diving deep into the impact of emotional neglect on our adult lives.
We start by clarifying what emotional neglect is and how it differs from physical or verbal abuse. You’ll learn how these early experiences shape our brains, self-esteem, and behavior patterns. We’ll then uncover the hidden costs of emotional neglect, including people-pleasing, codependency, and self-sabotage, and explore how these issues manifest in our adult lives.
Relationships can often feel complicated, and understanding your attachment style might reveal why. We’ll discuss how childhood experiences influence your current relationships and communication patterns.
But it's not all about the problem—it's about finding solutions. We’ll talk about practical steps for healing, including self-compassion, therapy, and mindfulness. Remember, healing from childhood wounds is a journey, but with the right tools and support, transformation is possible.
Join us as we explore these crucial topics and discover how to reclaim your life and relationships.
For more insights and updates, follow us on Instagram at @behavioralblueprintpod and @solananewton, and check out our other platforms for more content.
Let’s dive in and start this transformative journey together!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Yeah, I don't think something better. Have you ever found yourself repeating the same patterns
(00:05):
or struggling in relationships without understanding why? Knowing the roots and the challenges might lie
deeper than you think. Possibly in the childhood and the emotional neglect that we faced in past
years. We're going to talk about and delve in today's episode and the behavioral blueprint
podcast. Diving deep into the impact of the emotional neglect in our adult lives.
(00:26):
We're going to kick off by reflecting on personal experiences that we dealt with in our childhood
and also how emotional neglect can really influence how you affect your today life.
Emotional neglect personally affected me and how it can make me feel overlooked and misunderstood
on an everyday basis sometimes. It affects how deep and long lasting I deal with day-to-day
(00:50):
relationships. How I intervene with day-to-day choices and it also affects of course my long-term
mental health. In this episode we're going to of course uncover the hidden cost but then also
understand how the impact on the relationships and most importantly discovering the practical
steps to heal and thrive for the long term. So let's look at the true definition of emotional
(01:15):
neglect. Truly what it looks like is usually how it can differ from physical or verbal abuse
and whenever you're in the forms of neglects you really of course are in the space of lacking.
Neglect can be from all different sorts of reasons of why of course affects you and why is even
(01:35):
inflicted on you. Examples that I've always seen as emotional neglect of course is abandonment,
abandonment and validation. It always can always be a form of yeah ignoring or not being able to
be seen in the ways that people really need to be seen. Unresponsive parenting, unresponsive
(01:59):
friendships, unresponsive relationships. Of course lacking the emotional support with the person
that you really need. Sometimes we do need the reassurance, sometimes we do need the moments
where it's very clear and we have clarity in the relationships to know where this person stands
then also knowing that it's not really going to be shifted regardless of what I do.
(02:23):
How I've noticed impact on my development with growing up with emotional neglect because it
grows with you over time if it's not taken care of is it affects the child's brain. It affected
my brain to a amount where I realized that that had to be my normal when in reality I know of
course you're not supposed to have that as a normalcy. Then the ways that I reacted were
(02:49):
forms of truly like resenting the people that inflicted an emotional neglect upon me but then
I also truly did not want to live I guess the life that was inflicted upon me. It made me
understand that my development was different from other people's. My experiences were different from
(03:10):
other people's but then also how I dealt with regulation wasn't normal either because I didn't
have regulation and I would say the standard way of raising a child especially developing
habits and patterns that are going to be healthy for me long term because now I'm 20 and I'm
learning now finally what it really looks like for emotional regulation. I know things that soothe
(03:37):
myself but I also know even how I'm operating now is kind of still the baby beginning steps of
learning how to individualize my own regulation instead of thinking that it has to be other
people's form of self-care or self forms of making self making sure that I feel better.
Self-esteem has always been one of the bigger parts is knowing how much emotional neglect
(04:01):
impacts your self-worth and for myself I've noticed that self-esteem was never in my life until
I really grew around maybe like 19, 20 and I knew because I didn't really have it. I always
compared myself to others. I rooted myself in a relationship where how we were seen were two
(04:22):
completely different viewpoints and that made me realize how much I was even being valued
physically and that grew to making me feel like I had to be less than because of how I compared
myself into the relationship that I was in with my friend past friend but I realized over time
(04:43):
your self-worth has to be built. It can't be crafted because somebody else made it for you.
It has to be truly like made and sharpened and cared for it as if it was a child as if it was
something that you're birthing because self-esteem can be squished and crushed with certain things
and certain people in your life day to day. I think clear indicators that we all need to look out for
(05:08):
in emotional neglect is noticing how much we see it in children and adults and then also how it can
sometimes be difficult to express your emotions. It's normal for you to feel unseen. You're not
really being heard in moments where you need to be really listened to and valued and understood
and then lastly not truly being acknowledged the way that you would like. I would also say
(05:34):
usually the hidden costs with unpacking the consequences of your behavior has been
of course forms of people-pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage and you know obviously we talk
about these things on an often but the changes that we have to of course connect with is knowing
that because we do these things they have an effect with consequences. Whenever I do people-pleasing
(05:58):
I do it in the form of thinking that I have to be validated by somebody else and making sure that
they feel as comfortable as I'm trying to make myself feel in a stressor. Codependency comes
from the root of not having like I was saying earlier the form of lack and noticing how hey for
this example I'm in this situation where I'm over reliant on this person where I think that I need
(06:23):
to be like needed for them or they need to be needed for me for me to be seen as a whole person
and self-sabotage comes from the form of not of course being met with the things that you needed
for emotional parts and you self-inflict pain because you would rather have yourself do it
because you know what it feels like rather than somebody else doing it because it's more painful
(06:47):
coming from somebody else. Now let's talk about how this of course is being built into everyday
adulthood. Whenever you have to deal with the pain of being alone or being alone in a room
or dealing with patterns of the behavior like we were talking about that can be shown of course in
day-to-day relationships with work. People in corporate anything corporate America do all of
(07:12):
the three things because it has to be the normalcy. It's the normal to let go of the passive behavior.
It's the normal to people please into meetings and smiling and faking and also being codependent on the company
because we know that those things pay the bills. So many people I know are in day-to-day nine to fives
(07:36):
and it's completely brutal for them because they don't know how to deal or what to do and of course
that manifested into the forms of not being able to be happy when they go home and being able to
not show up for themselves in their own personal lives and then also to a personal standpoint
(07:56):
when you do all the three things like we were explaining with the patterns of behavior
you really lack form of sense of self because you dilute your own need and you dilute your own value
and your identity because you want to pour into the others of soothing others. Explaining how
you do the self-sabotage moments is because you want to make it difficult for yourself to succeed.
(08:21):
You want to believe that you are the problem. You want to believe that you aren't the value like you
needed to be and that's not true because of course who you were then isn't having to be the person
that you are today and you have to learn how to reclaim your power. Before we continue I want to
remind you that you have the power to reclaim your life and your relationships. Healing from the
(08:45):
emotional neglect involves you understanding and addressing the patterns with the right tools
and support. You can absolutely transform your life. Now let's get into segment three y'all.
Relationships and how the ripple effect plays into the relationships for today. Explaining how
your childhood to your friends and how you dealt with emotional neglect with your friends
(09:09):
is difficult. Explaining it to your family, explaining it to your relationships is not easy
and knowing and identifying the attachment styles that you have of course can save and even affect
the relationship in a better way but in long term you acknowledge those things but it doesn't mean
(09:30):
that it's permanent and stuck with you. The forms of childhood emotional neglect that we deal with
growing up isn't again the permanence of who you are. It's the thing that is kind of stuck with you
because your child like self is stuck with you and it's not a negative thing that it is but
(09:50):
it is a problem when the insecurities still rise up in today of who you are as an adult.
How that of course impacts your relationships is going through the diversity of your friendships,
relationships and family dynamics in day-to-day living. Knowing that you're in a space of knowing
(10:10):
that you have to accord yourself in different forms and as a people pleaser and as a past
people pleaser I've realized that I had to put on different masks to perform for different people
and sometimes you don't know how to change the mask. Sometimes you don't even know how to take
it off and that can be extremely exhausting because behind all those masks there are still
(10:33):
forms of yourself and if you lack the versions of yourself or if you lack the straight identity of
who you are and you don't merge those masks together to become one you will lose yourself.
You will completely destroy who you are. I don't mean to put fear into that but it's knowing who
you are is the true root of becoming the person that you want to be. Knowing who you are of course
(11:00):
fundamentally is knowing what you like, what you don't like but then on a deeper level where we
have to truly address is what you don't like but then also why you don't like the things that you
don't like and what you do like and why you like the things that you do like. Knowing how you have
communication challenges and how those can be struggles and those building in time and building
(11:25):
in hard relationships or through difficult conversations. Knowing that you have to express
the needs that you truly want because there will be a person one day that will truly want to give
you what you have been needing and deserving for your entire life. Then you also have to get over
the hurdle of fearing of rejection because you're truly not going to understand rejection when you
(11:48):
once you realize that rejection is the protection. Rejection is the blessing. There has been too many
no's in my life that I've cried over not even realizing that over the hill and over the mountain
there has been betterment with growing in the moment of the no's because they were forms of
making me believe that those no's were forms of nothing to me. They were to better explain it
(12:14):
those no's meant so much to me because it was so difficult to hear a no because a no for me
equalized to my value. The no meant no of all of who I was. I wanted to visualize and believe
that the value of who I was was the no and once you truly like get away from realizing
(12:39):
that your value in somebody else's decision is never equal you will truly know like not even if
I would say the cliche statement of who you are but you'll know that they are separate identities.
Your value of yourself has nothing to do with somebody else's control or support over something
(13:01):
that you are truly qualified for. Knowing that you have patterns in your love life and how different
and complex those things are in the day-to-day living. Like we were talking about with the
attachment styles you have to address how different your love life looks with the attachment style
and then also how it looks in your single life. Are you able to produce like and practice positive
(13:27):
relationships in that relationship? Are you able to address the problems whenever they are faced
front in front of you with no fear with no problem and with your chest held high because you feel
confident that you're able to not quote fix but you're able to address because long term you have
to truly know the childhood issues to know how to go against the relationship dynamics. They're not
(13:54):
against each other they're truly needing each other because the childhood issue is asking for
that thing to be validated but when you need that issue validated you can't just look for the other
person. You have to look at the fact that that thing is having an issue with not being enough
or needing more of or needing to beg for and that are always things of lack because you need
(14:19):
you don't need these things. You have to soothe and you have to figure out ways to truly heal
and weave in healing into the childhood wounded self into the childhood issues into the childhood
abandonment into the childhood neglect. Now let's find our way back. How I discuss the role of
(14:42):
having self-compassion for yourself is knowing how to heal from the emotional neglect like I was
saying. You've already gotten over the hump of realizing and acknowledging the pain that you've
endured in this episode but we also have to realize that the part of healing is past the
acknowledgement and actually in the form of action. Whenever you have to go into the
(15:04):
practical ways of compassion with yourself you have to notice how you have to be positive to
yourself. You have to notice how you have to soothe yourself whenever you deal with stressing
situations. Whenever I'm in the moment or I'm about to cry I'm like it's okay baby it's okay
I pinch on myself a little bit I scratch on myself because I know I have to be able to be present
(15:28):
enough to not let myself crash and not let myself fail and not let myself fall on my face because
I know I don't I don't need to deal with that and I can't afford that either. Knowing that I have to
find ways of affirming myself and having care routines for myself is a self-care mask. It's
(15:48):
going to therapy. That's a form of self-care for myself is being able to hold myself accountable
in the things that I need in my life. Even I would say forms of self-care for myself is arguing with
my boyfriend because we find like rooted issues in our relationship and in ourselves that are being
(16:09):
projected out in day-to-day conversations that we have because we're truly seeing what we do to
ourselves and we're seeing what we say to ourselves. I've also realized with the benefits of my therapy
I've had the time to address and help the healing of the emotional childhood neglect. I've realized
(16:31):
over time that having to have different types of therapy can be beneficial. Knowing the ways of
cognitive therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy will be the bigger parts of doing research on a
course first but knowing that your mind is always the thing that's racing. Even when you are
(16:54):
unconscious it has to have time to rebuild. It has to have time to recoup on the things that
you've done in 24 hours because there's a lot that goes on in 24 hours for yourself and your brain
and your brain takes so much because it's dealing with however old you are. It's dealing with the
(17:14):
past. It's dealing with what you were having at two years old. It's dealing with the even the future
self that you haven't even aged to yet because you you can't just wait for the dream. You can't just
wait for the thing to happen. You can't just wait to find that person when in reality the chasing is
never going to find you and never going to have you win that race because in the long run what
(17:38):
you're chasing for is you. What you're chasing for is needing yourself and needing how to grow with
yourself and needing to have love with yourself and emotional regulation and having self-awareness
and being firm with your decisions and how much you love yourself. Now let's go into how we can
(18:00):
do techniques. I always say being able to face yourself in the mirror, being able to soothe
yourself in the shower, having deep breath moments with yourself and being able to be present with
yourself and tell yourself who you are in the mirror and tell yourself who you are whenever you
have to deal with moments of stressors. When you have techniques like self-help and journaling and
(18:26):
medication and also meditation or even support groups those are all option ways for yourself
day to day for you to get better. You have to have hope for yourself. Lastly you have to have
support for yourself external and internal. We're building the endurance for yourself.
(18:50):
We're building that day today and we're building your self-esteem day to day because you have to
have it and you have to know that that additional emotional support and that additional self-esteem
support long term will build the identity of the course of who you are. Month to month we're shaving
all these different parts of who you are because you need those things and not because I say them
(19:15):
but because deep down you know that you've always needed to listen to this. As we wrap up today's
episode I want to remember and also remind you that healing from childhood emotional neglect is
always a journey. You have to involve your self-compassion, your reflection, and your growth.
Thank you for tuning in to the Behavioral Blueprint Podcast and if you found this episode
(19:38):
helpful at all share it with someone who might benefit from it. Don't forget to follow us on
Instagram and also on Behavioral Blueprint Pod and also of course my Instagram Solana Newton.
Check out our other platforms for more content and keep moving forward with your path with healing
and self-discovery and if you want to continue this transformative journey together go ahead
and give us a follow and download our episodes. I hope to see you soon. Bye!
Yeah, I don't think something better. Have you ever found yourself repeating the same patterns
(00:05):
or struggling in relationships without understanding why? Knowing the roots and the challenges might lie
deeper than you think. Possibly in the childhood and the emotional neglect that we faced in past
years. We're going to talk about and delve in today's episode and the behavioral blueprint
podcast. Diving deep into the impact of the emotional neglect in our adult lives.
(00:26):
We're going to kick off by reflecting on personal experiences that we dealt with in our childhood
and also how emotional neglect can really influence how you affect your today life.
Emotional neglect personally affected me and how it can make me feel overlooked and misunderstood
on an everyday basis sometimes. It affects how deep and long lasting I deal with day-to-day
(00:50):
relationships. How I intervene with day-to-day choices and it also affects of course my long-term
mental health. In this episode we're going to of course uncover the hidden cost but then also
understand how the impact on the relationships and most importantly discovering the practical
steps to heal and thrive for the long term. So let's look at the true definition of emotional
(01:15):
neglect. Truly what it looks like is usually how it can differ from physical or verbal abuse
and whenever you're in the forms of neglects you really of course are in the space of lacking.
Neglect can be from all different sorts of reasons of why of course affects you and why is even
(01:35):
inflicted on you. Examples that I've always seen as emotional neglect of course is abandonment,
abandonment and validation. It always can always be a form of yeah ignoring or not being able to
be seen in the ways that people really need to be seen. Unresponsive parenting, unresponsive
(01:59):
friendships, unresponsive relationships. Of course lacking the emotional support with the person
that you really need. Sometimes we do need the reassurance, sometimes we do need the moments
where it's very clear and we have clarity in the relationships to know where this person stands
then also knowing that it's not really going to be shifted regardless of what I do.
(02:23):
How I've noticed impact on my development with growing up with emotional neglect because it
grows with you over time if it's not taken care of is it affects the child's brain. It affected
my brain to a amount where I realized that that had to be my normal when in reality I know of
course you're not supposed to have that as a normalcy. Then the ways that I reacted were
(02:49):
forms of truly like resenting the people that inflicted an emotional neglect upon me but then
I also truly did not want to live I guess the life that was inflicted upon me. It made me
understand that my development was different from other people's. My experiences were different from
(03:10):
other people's but then also how I dealt with regulation wasn't normal either because I didn't
have regulation and I would say the standard way of raising a child especially developing
habits and patterns that are going to be healthy for me long term because now I'm 20 and I'm
learning now finally what it really looks like for emotional regulation. I know things that soothe
(03:37):
myself but I also know even how I'm operating now is kind of still the baby beginning steps of
learning how to individualize my own regulation instead of thinking that it has to be other
people's form of self-care or self forms of making self making sure that I feel better.
Self-esteem has always been one of the bigger parts is knowing how much emotional neglect
(04:01):
impacts your self-worth and for myself I've noticed that self-esteem was never in my life until
I really grew around maybe like 19, 20 and I knew because I didn't really have it. I always
compared myself to others. I rooted myself in a relationship where how we were seen were two
(04:22):
completely different viewpoints and that made me realize how much I was even being valued
physically and that grew to making me feel like I had to be less than because of how I compared
myself into the relationship that I was in with my friend past friend but I realized over time
(04:43):
your self-worth has to be built. It can't be crafted because somebody else made it for you.
It has to be truly like made and sharpened and cared for it as if it was a child as if it was
something that you're birthing because self-esteem can be squished and crushed with certain things
and certain people in your life day to day. I think clear indicators that we all need to look out for
(05:08):
in emotional neglect is noticing how much we see it in children and adults and then also how it can
sometimes be difficult to express your emotions. It's normal for you to feel unseen. You're not
really being heard in moments where you need to be really listened to and valued and understood
and then lastly not truly being acknowledged the way that you would like. I would also say
(05:34):
usually the hidden costs with unpacking the consequences of your behavior has been
of course forms of people-pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage and you know obviously we talk
about these things on an often but the changes that we have to of course connect with is knowing
that because we do these things they have an effect with consequences. Whenever I do people-pleasing
(05:58):
I do it in the form of thinking that I have to be validated by somebody else and making sure that
they feel as comfortable as I'm trying to make myself feel in a stressor. Codependency comes
from the root of not having like I was saying earlier the form of lack and noticing how hey for
this example I'm in this situation where I'm over reliant on this person where I think that I need
(06:23):
to be like needed for them or they need to be needed for me for me to be seen as a whole person
and self-sabotage comes from the form of not of course being met with the things that you needed
for emotional parts and you self-inflict pain because you would rather have yourself do it
because you know what it feels like rather than somebody else doing it because it's more painful
(06:47):
coming from somebody else. Now let's talk about how this of course is being built into everyday
adulthood. Whenever you have to deal with the pain of being alone or being alone in a room
or dealing with patterns of the behavior like we were talking about that can be shown of course in
day-to-day relationships with work. People in corporate anything corporate America do all of
(07:12):
the three things because it has to be the normalcy. It's the normal to let go of the passive behavior.
It's the normal to people please into meetings and smiling and faking and also being codependent on the company
because we know that those things pay the bills. So many people I know are in day-to-day nine to fives
(07:36):
and it's completely brutal for them because they don't know how to deal or what to do and of course
that manifested into the forms of not being able to be happy when they go home and being able to
not show up for themselves in their own personal lives and then also to a personal standpoint
(07:56):
when you do all the three things like we were explaining with the patterns of behavior
you really lack form of sense of self because you dilute your own need and you dilute your own value
and your identity because you want to pour into the others of soothing others. Explaining how
you do the self-sabotage moments is because you want to make it difficult for yourself to succeed.
(08:21):
You want to believe that you are the problem. You want to believe that you aren't the value like you
needed to be and that's not true because of course who you were then isn't having to be the person
that you are today and you have to learn how to reclaim your power. Before we continue I want to
remind you that you have the power to reclaim your life and your relationships. Healing from the
(08:45):
emotional neglect involves you understanding and addressing the patterns with the right tools
and support. You can absolutely transform your life. Now let's get into segment three y'all.
Relationships and how the ripple effect plays into the relationships for today. Explaining how
your childhood to your friends and how you dealt with emotional neglect with your friends
(09:09):
is difficult. Explaining it to your family, explaining it to your relationships is not easy
and knowing and identifying the attachment styles that you have of course can save and even affect
the relationship in a better way but in long term you acknowledge those things but it doesn't mean
(09:30):
that it's permanent and stuck with you. The forms of childhood emotional neglect that we deal with
growing up isn't again the permanence of who you are. It's the thing that is kind of stuck with you
because your child like self is stuck with you and it's not a negative thing that it is but
(09:50):
it is a problem when the insecurities still rise up in today of who you are as an adult.
How that of course impacts your relationships is going through the diversity of your friendships,
relationships and family dynamics in day-to-day living. Knowing that you're in a space of knowing
(10:10):
that you have to accord yourself in different forms and as a people pleaser and as a past
people pleaser I've realized that I had to put on different masks to perform for different people
and sometimes you don't know how to change the mask. Sometimes you don't even know how to take
it off and that can be extremely exhausting because behind all those masks there are still
(10:33):
forms of yourself and if you lack the versions of yourself or if you lack the straight identity of
who you are and you don't merge those masks together to become one you will lose yourself.
You will completely destroy who you are. I don't mean to put fear into that but it's knowing who
you are is the true root of becoming the person that you want to be. Knowing who you are of course
(11:00):
fundamentally is knowing what you like, what you don't like but then on a deeper level where we
have to truly address is what you don't like but then also why you don't like the things that you
don't like and what you do like and why you like the things that you do like. Knowing how you have
communication challenges and how those can be struggles and those building in time and building
(11:25):
in hard relationships or through difficult conversations. Knowing that you have to express
the needs that you truly want because there will be a person one day that will truly want to give
you what you have been needing and deserving for your entire life. Then you also have to get over
the hurdle of fearing of rejection because you're truly not going to understand rejection when you
(11:48):
once you realize that rejection is the protection. Rejection is the blessing. There has been too many
no's in my life that I've cried over not even realizing that over the hill and over the mountain
there has been betterment with growing in the moment of the no's because they were forms of
making me believe that those no's were forms of nothing to me. They were to better explain it
(12:14):
those no's meant so much to me because it was so difficult to hear a no because a no for me
equalized to my value. The no meant no of all of who I was. I wanted to visualize and believe
that the value of who I was was the no and once you truly like get away from realizing
(12:39):
that your value in somebody else's decision is never equal you will truly know like not even if
I would say the cliche statement of who you are but you'll know that they are separate identities.
Your value of yourself has nothing to do with somebody else's control or support over something
(13:01):
that you are truly qualified for. Knowing that you have patterns in your love life and how different
and complex those things are in the day-to-day living. Like we were talking about with the
attachment styles you have to address how different your love life looks with the attachment style
and then also how it looks in your single life. Are you able to produce like and practice positive
(13:27):
relationships in that relationship? Are you able to address the problems whenever they are faced
front in front of you with no fear with no problem and with your chest held high because you feel
confident that you're able to not quote fix but you're able to address because long term you have
to truly know the childhood issues to know how to go against the relationship dynamics. They're not
(13:54):
against each other they're truly needing each other because the childhood issue is asking for
that thing to be validated but when you need that issue validated you can't just look for the other
person. You have to look at the fact that that thing is having an issue with not being enough
or needing more of or needing to beg for and that are always things of lack because you need
(14:19):
you don't need these things. You have to soothe and you have to figure out ways to truly heal
and weave in healing into the childhood wounded self into the childhood issues into the childhood
abandonment into the childhood neglect. Now let's find our way back. How I discuss the role of
(14:42):
having self-compassion for yourself is knowing how to heal from the emotional neglect like I was
saying. You've already gotten over the hump of realizing and acknowledging the pain that you've
endured in this episode but we also have to realize that the part of healing is past the
acknowledgement and actually in the form of action. Whenever you have to go into the
(15:04):
practical ways of compassion with yourself you have to notice how you have to be positive to
yourself. You have to notice how you have to soothe yourself whenever you deal with stressing
situations. Whenever I'm in the moment or I'm about to cry I'm like it's okay baby it's okay
I pinch on myself a little bit I scratch on myself because I know I have to be able to be present
(15:28):
enough to not let myself crash and not let myself fail and not let myself fall on my face because
I know I don't I don't need to deal with that and I can't afford that either. Knowing that I have to
find ways of affirming myself and having care routines for myself is a self-care mask. It's
(15:48):
going to therapy. That's a form of self-care for myself is being able to hold myself accountable
in the things that I need in my life. Even I would say forms of self-care for myself is arguing with
my boyfriend because we find like rooted issues in our relationship and in ourselves that are being
(16:09):
projected out in day-to-day conversations that we have because we're truly seeing what we do to
ourselves and we're seeing what we say to ourselves. I've also realized with the benefits of my therapy
I've had the time to address and help the healing of the emotional childhood neglect. I've realized
(16:31):
over time that having to have different types of therapy can be beneficial. Knowing the ways of
cognitive therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy will be the bigger parts of doing research on a
course first but knowing that your mind is always the thing that's racing. Even when you are
(16:54):
unconscious it has to have time to rebuild. It has to have time to recoup on the things that
you've done in 24 hours because there's a lot that goes on in 24 hours for yourself and your brain
and your brain takes so much because it's dealing with however old you are. It's dealing with the
(17:14):
past. It's dealing with what you were having at two years old. It's dealing with the even the future
self that you haven't even aged to yet because you you can't just wait for the dream. You can't just
wait for the thing to happen. You can't just wait to find that person when in reality the chasing is
never going to find you and never going to have you win that race because in the long run what
(17:38):
you're chasing for is you. What you're chasing for is needing yourself and needing how to grow with
yourself and needing to have love with yourself and emotional regulation and having self-awareness
and being firm with your decisions and how much you love yourself. Now let's go into how we can
(18:00):
do techniques. I always say being able to face yourself in the mirror, being able to soothe
yourself in the shower, having deep breath moments with yourself and being able to be present with
yourself and tell yourself who you are in the mirror and tell yourself who you are whenever you
have to deal with moments of stressors. When you have techniques like self-help and journaling and
(18:26):
medication and also meditation or even support groups those are all option ways for yourself
day to day for you to get better. You have to have hope for yourself. Lastly you have to have
support for yourself external and internal. We're building the endurance for yourself.
(18:50):
We're building that day today and we're building your self-esteem day to day because you have to
have it and you have to know that that additional emotional support and that additional self-esteem
support long term will build the identity of the course of who you are. Month to month we're shaving
all these different parts of who you are because you need those things and not because I say them
(19:15):
but because deep down you know that you've always needed to listen to this. As we wrap up today's
episode I want to remember and also remind you that healing from childhood emotional neglect is
always a journey. You have to involve your self-compassion, your reflection, and your growth.
Thank you for tuning in to the Behavioral Blueprint Podcast and if you found this episode
(19:38):
helpful at all share it with someone who might benefit from it. Don't forget to follow us on
Instagram and also on Behavioral Blueprint Pod and also of course my Instagram Solana Newton.
Check out our other platforms for more content and keep moving forward with your path with healing
and self-discovery and if you want to continue this transformative journey together go ahead
and give us a follow and download our episodes. I hope to see you soon. Bye!
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