The Journey Between The Win and Beginning

The myth of constant happiness:Have you ever felt the pressure to always be positive, even when life throws you a curveball? I know I have. There was a time when I was going through a tough breakup and everyone seemed to be telling me to "just move on" or "keep your chin up." This unrealistic expectation only made me feel worse. It's important to remember that it's okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Embracing our emotions can actually help us build resilience.

The role of setbacks:Setbacks are a part of life, and it's how we respond to them that matters. I once applied to a dream job and was rejected. At first, I was devastated. But looking back, I realize that it was a blessing in disguise. The rejection led me to explore other opportunities that were even better suited for me. Viewing challenges as opportunities can shift our perspective and help us grow.

Building Resilience

Self-awareness:Have you ever found yourself spiraling into negative thoughts without realizing it? Self-reflection has been a game-changer for me. By paying attention to my emotions and thought patterns, I've been able to identify triggers and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Mindfulness and grounding techniques:A simple grounding exercise I like to do is to focus on my senses. I take a deep breath and notice what I can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. This helps me stay present in the moment and reduce stress.

Developing a support system:We can't do it alone. Having supportive friends and family can make a world of difference. When I was going through a difficult time, my best friend was always there to listen and offer encouragement.

Setting realistic goals:I used to set unrealistic goals for myself and get disappointed when I didn't achieve them. Now, I focus on setting small, achievable goals and celebrating my victories along the way. This helps me stay motivated and build confidence.

Resilience in the Face of Adversity

Overcoming obstacles:I've faced many challenges in my life, but one of the most significant was overcoming my fear of public speaking. To build resilience, I gradually exposed myself to public speaking situations and practiced speaking in front of small groups.

Learning from failures:Failure is a part of life. Instead of dwelling on my mistakes, I try to learn from them and use them as opportunities for growth.

Cultivating a growth mindset:Adopting a growth mindset has been instrumental in helping me overcome challenges. When faced with a setback, I remind myself that I have the ability to learn and improve.

Finding Your Center

Self-care practices:Taking care of myself is essential for my overall well-being. I love spending time in nature, practicing yoga, and reading.

Finding purpose:Having a sense of purpose gives me the motivation to overcome challenges. My work as a teacher gives me a sense of fulfillment and meaning.

Building inner strength:There have been times when I've had to rely solely on my inner strength. By developing self-confidence and self-worth, I've been able to navigate difficult times with greater resilience.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't get fired from my job two years ago.

(00:07):
I took that loss and I made it a win.
I want to tell you the story about how I made a journey of resilience into a win by letting
the story play out.
Welcome back to the Behavioral Boot Print Podcast with today, your host Solana.
Today we're going to dive into the world of wins and losses, exploring the intricate dance

(00:29):
between the triumph and the diversity.
Also we're going to examine how the power of your wins and the resilience of your losses
will create the art of balancing them both.
The segments that we're going to focus on today are the power of your wins, the resilience
of your losses, the balancing of your wins and losses, and also celebrating the wins

(00:51):
and accepting the losses.
Of course I always am going to give you guys a recap and also additional tips at the end
and make sure to stay until the end for those additional tips.
And of course as we continue, we'll learn how to create adversity through all the moments
of your changes in your life.
First, we have to identify to know what is a win and a form of success for all of the

(01:16):
things that we have in our life.
A win for me is going to be different from a win for you.
Knowing and indicating what is a win is of course what is a want or what is a need and
how do those wins make us feel whenever we achieve those things and have them.
My personal wins have always been, I would say, very small because I've dreamt very small.

(01:41):
And now that I'm continuing to learn bigger and dream bigger and have my stories and my
personal life become a bigger form of my identity, I've realized that my wins have recently become
of course to graduate high school, have my car.
I love my little Viper car, my baby, my baby, my baby.

(02:03):
And also my wins of being able to be in a relationship.
Now those things are wins because they're personal to me.
They mean a lot to me because those things are becoming who I am and they help me have
accessibility with my car, but then also accessibility with having a job.

(02:25):
Every single job that we of course know of asks for a high school diploma.
And on top of that, having a relationship shaped my journey with knowing myself more.
I didn't sit there and beg God and be like, okay, I need this relationship and how this
works and how this works.
But I did do the work of knowing that I needed to have myself and know of myself enough to

(02:47):
know if I can take the next step in journeying into a relationship.
Now of course the positive effects of knowing that you're going to have a win in your life
boost your self-esteem.
It makes your chest get bigger and it makes you realize, okay, I'm that bitch.
I'm really that girl.
I'm really that nigga.
A long term that of course helps you look at accolades back into your past of knowing

(03:09):
that you were able to succeed in something that you wanted.
Knowing that you're able to share the significant wins, even kind of flex them too, is something
that feels good to know that one, yes, of course the outside view, but then the inside
view of knowing that you were able to achieve what you wanted.
Now let's get to my favorite part.

(03:30):
Knowing the resilience of your losses.
How does a loss affect your life long term?
Because sometimes the wins are short and the losses are bigger and they're longer and they
make things more difficult for yourself.
Understanding that my personal form of loss has been not knowing myself, honestly costing

(03:52):
myself 20 years of a relationship with myself because I wasn't able to prioritize my own
needs.
I created a reality where I had to be basically made to give to others and it made me lose
what other forms of self I was.

(04:13):
I overcame those struggles because I realized that I had to defy against the things that
were holding me back.
I had a lot of control over things that I felt like I needed to have a wheel or a form
of steering on.
You also have to navigate knowing if you are in the space of knowing or controlling your
losses because there are things that are inevitable that you do have to process and that you do

(04:39):
need to navigate yourself through because they are challenges and build opportunities
for you to realize who you are about yourself.
Because yes you do realize how much you can value yourself in the wins but you do have
to value how much power and resilience you're supposed to have in the losses.
Now as a person that has dealt with lots of depression before and questioned how I can

(05:04):
get through the next day, I've realized that every day isn't perfect.
Every moment isn't perfect.
Every chance where you get to have the moment to stand up for yourself isn't perfect either.
Knowing that you can reflect on those things that truly have challenged you but then also
knowing that they aren't the reality and the chance that you have today.

(05:28):
Knowing that depression is truly a word.
It is truly a feeling that is indescribable but it is a form of an object that holds you
back from the potential of who you are.
I'm not saying that your future self doesn't have depression.
I'm saying that your future self knows how to combat the depression in knowing that it's

(05:49):
not the long term of day or the long term effect of who you are as a person.
The true impact of losses are difficult because how do you navigate the thing that you lost?
Not being able to reflect upon it again and look back at it and touch it with your own
two hands or concept it as if it was your own because it's not with you anymore.

(06:14):
How do you have a relationship with something that doesn't have a form of being of you anymore?
How do you build self-worth or self-respect with something that you know that you thought
you needed?
How do you get through those things?
How do you get past those things?
And I'm going to teach you because balancing the losses and the wins are completely life

(06:37):
written and they're put into your life of course to build emotional endurance, emotional
strength and emotional long lasting for yourself.
Now I want to remind you as you go about your day take a moment to reflect on your recent
wins and also your losses.
Celebrate your achievements.

(06:58):
Learn from your setbacks.
Create a sense of gratitude for yourself and remember that your life is a journey filled
with both trials and challenges.
It's your ability to navigate through them and with grace and resilience that truly defines
us in the long term.
How do you find perspective and balance in both wins and losses?

(07:20):
You learn.
You understand that you're a student to life and that at these ages and stages that you're
at they build adversity.
In moments where I got knocked down for my first job it was my first job outside of high
school.
I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
I didn't know how to sell apartments.
I didn't know how to learn the corporate world or even put a form of a fake smile on my face

(07:48):
because I had to do that for so long that I thought that I didn't have to do that whenever
I left the world that I was living in.
Being in school you still have to deal with the forms of performing and the forms of thinking
that you have to be this thing or this thing or this thing and I didn't want to experience
that anymore but I was faced with an example, a lesson and a form of learning that these

(08:13):
things still exist and sometimes it's difficult because you have to know how to truly know
when to put the mask down.
Know when to walk away or know when to build resilience with yourself in the moments of
adversity.
Knowing how to discuss the strategies for yourself to build the resilience like I was

(08:33):
talking about but resilience is not just getting through a situation.
Resilience is knowing and identifying the situation and knowing that you're already
past it.
Whenever you're literally face to face with it you have to know that you're past it because
you're already through the experience.

(08:54):
If you got fired today you're already through the experience because it already happened
to you and if you stay stuck in the place where you were supposed to be or that you
were long term it will make you stuck into the reality of thinking that that's your cycle
and that's your entire life.
Then it stops you from looking at job postings, job listings, opportunities in your future

(09:19):
and all of these things that stop you from actually having the wins and the next wins.
Now let's go into celebrating the wins and accepting the losses.
Celebrating the wins because you know that they're short.
Celebrating the wins because you know they're important.
Celebrating the wins because you acknowledge your achievements of the adversity that you
have because you can't get to the win if you can't even get through the losses.

(09:44):
You can't get to the win if you can't understand what that loss looks like and what that pain
looks like and what that moment of being frugal looks like and what that moment of truly not
knowing where you're at bottom barrel because that gives you nothing but an option to know
that you're going up.
People say that so often but it's so cliche.

(10:05):
Whenever you say only it's going up from here it's going to change for you, it's going to
be this for you, it's going to become a better moment for you.
How?
Whenever you're at the bottom grain and you don't want to believe any type of self encouragement
speech that somebody's making online.
How do I get past that?
How do I know that my next win is going to be tomorrow?
How do I know you're breathing?

(10:28):
You have a heartbeat.
You have a chance to breathe.
You have a moment of consciousness.
You have a moment of actually existing with the moment of consciousness and with the form
of act and free will.
You have a lot of options to know when you can discuss the benefits of changing and discussing
the benefits of growing and discussing the benefits of accepting because a lot of us

(10:52):
are stuck at the moment where we can't even accept the things that we haven't dealt with
in forever.
We have to discuss the importance of celebrating those wins and those achievements but we also
have to accept those losses and exploring strategies to accept and explain those losses
to ourselves.
A lot of us are stuck with not even moving forward because we think that the losses are

(11:13):
identity.
The loss is the failure.
The loss is the nose.
The loss is the pain because how can I deal with the pain?
How can I deal with this?
I've already dealt with so many other things.
I'm too stressed.
I'm too done.
Are you?
Again, you're still breathing.
You have another chance to do it again every single waking moment that you have.

(11:35):
Kind of got crazy in that a little bit but I do want to truly explain finding gratitude
and benefits with yourself with the wins and losses because they're character building,
they're character facing.
How are you going to respond in those moments of failure?
How are you going to respond in those moments of pain?
Now just to recap, we have to of course understand the wins and losses but we also have to identify

(12:01):
what the losses mean and what the winning means and having resilience within them both
because both hold power within your future.
As you continue your journey, I want to encourage you about your wins and you have to learn
from your losses and you have to embrace all of those highlights of the highs and lows.
Discover a deep sense of self with building resilience, with building fulfillment and

(12:27):
knowing that the bigger parts of who you are isn't your losses and isn't your wins.
Everything that you of course endure is of course building you for the person that you
are, the person when you're 27, the person when you're 36, the person when you're 42,
the person when you're 59, the person when you're 63.

(12:49):
Those versions of you are evolutionary if that's a word but you build and you of course
evolve in the losses that I face this week or last week.
They're nothing compared to the things that I endured two years ago because I knew that
I had to get through those.
They were the hardest points of my life but then I realized that I had to become and I

(13:14):
had to build.
I want to thank you for joining me today at the Behavioral Blueprint podcast but I also
want to of course thank you for staying with us and staying with our inspiring content.
Until next time, keep striving, keep learning and keep growing.
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(13:35):
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(13:58):
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