May 26, 2024 • 26 mins
Episode Overview:
In our fast-paced, image-driven world, idolization of celebrities, influencers, and even parental figures can be a common phenomenon. This episode explores the potential downsides of unhealthy idolization for our mental health and relationships. However, we don't stop there! We'll also discuss strategies for letting go of unhealthy idolization and fostering more balanced, authentic connections with others.
Key Segments:
The Allure of Perfection: Demystifying Idolization:
- Define idolization and its various forms (celebrity, hero, parental, etc.).
- Explore motivations behind idolization, such as a desire for validation or lack of self-esteem.
- Discuss the potential downsides of idolization, including disappointment, disillusionment, and feelings of inadequacy.
Beyond the Hype: Recognizing the Impact on Your Well-Being:
- Share personal stories or real-life examples of how idolization can negatively affect mental health and relationships.
- Discuss how idolization can hinder personal growth and prevent us from forming genuine connections.
- Explore how focusing on unrealistic ideals can lead to social comparison and low self-esteem.
From Idols to Inspiration: Finding Your Own Path:
- Offer practical strategies for letting go of unhealthy idolization.
- Discuss the importance of developing healthy self-esteem and self-acceptance.
- Promote finding inspiration from role models who encourage your own growth and authenticity.
Building Authentic Connections: The Power of "We" over "Me":
- Introduce the concept of "healthy influence" and how to find positive role models. These can be individuals who inspire you to be your best self without fostering dependence.
- Shift the focus from one-sided idolization to building reciprocal, supportive relationships.
- Offer tips for developing healthy communication, setting boundaries, and 4.
- Finding purpose, connection, and post-traumatic growth through lived experience and peer mentorship
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Behavioral Blueprint podcast,
(00:03):
where we will unlock the secrets of
human behavior and empower you to understand yourself and others.
Hi, everyone. I hope everybody's doing well.
This is week four,
and we're going to be talking about unmasking our idols and finding
your voice and building
authentic relationships with yourself and others.
(00:24):
This overview of this episode is going to be going over how we idolize
people and influencers and also content creators in today's society,
and how that can change us even with ourselves and how we view ourselves.
It can be a potential downside for all of us with understanding how
(00:44):
heavy and deep idolization can be for all of our relationships with each other,
but we will not be ending there.
We're going to also discuss the strategies of letting go of
the unhealthy idolization of others plus
also fostering how we can take care of ourselves
and building authentic relationships with others and ourselves.
(01:05):
But first things first,
let's talk about idolization and what
idolization means to each and every one of us.
Of course, the definition terms always give
away of giving us a textbook version,
but we really do have to dive deep of what we're doing to ourselves,
and then what we do to others when we look into
(01:27):
validating idolization from other people,
but then also what idolization from ourselves look like.
For me, I've looked into trying to understand it on a book by book term.
It doesn't always help when you try to break it down that way,
but I have noticed that going through
(01:47):
your own personal experiences has been the easiest,
but then also the most intense way that people can understand something of their own.
Idolization of its own can be very dark and it can be
very disturbing when you realize that it's trying to fill a void or
a form of self-esteem that hasn't been taken care of from the original standpoint of,
(02:09):
of course, where we root back into ourselves with child growth and who we are as kids.
I think that we have a connection with disappointing ourselves when we realize
our idols are just people and how we lead into even understanding
that the people that we care about or the people that we think that we care about,
because it can be completely one-sided,
(02:31):
are not who we honestly even think of who they are in our head.
We're trying to reach a form of looking into the people that we see on
this pedestal and make it seem as if they have to be the thing that we wish to be,
or we wish other people to be to fix ourselves,
and that's not going to help anybody at the end of the day.
(02:53):
Honestly, we might feel big forms of disappointment when we realize that the people
that are on the pedestal,
they actually are not who we think they are at all.
They have to be themselves and they have to be their own stories and
their own testimonies because that's what was created for them.
(03:15):
That was their journey, that was their step into this life.
It didn't have to be what our voids had to be, if that makes sense.
Sometimes we look into other people because we can't look into ourselves.
We have a fear of looking into ourselves.
Of course, being able to look into yourself is one of the forms of self-acceptance.
(03:37):
If somebody can't take that first step,
then how can they even take care of others or themselves?
Honestly, right now with how the world is looking at idolization,
it's completely disgusting and insane.
But again, to empathize with each other,
we're all human so we all don't, of course,
know every single one of each other's lives behind closed doors.
(04:00):
But right now to prove one of the points that I'm making,
we're looking into people's lives right now and people are being exposed as we
speak about their actions and their behaviors and sometimes that
doesn't come into the limelight until decades later or until years later or months later.
These people that we look up to or that have privilege or that have
(04:26):
different forms of absolute things that a lot of people in middle-class or lower-class don't have,
and that can absolutely change anybody's mental.
Because if you think that you are better than somebody and you don't have
enough integrity of your own or humbleness of your own,
you're going to be in some type of way exploiting people,
(04:49):
or even treating people negatively because of how you think that you're better than somebody else.
Of course, that has a long-term effect,
so don't be an asshole to people.
But we also have to discuss how idolization can hinder
your personal growth and prevent you from building genuine connections with people,
and how that can change how you can have progression in your life,
(05:12):
or how that can change how the authentic people are going to enter your life.
Because if you're not honest with yourself,
with how you can create a void with people or create a form of distance with people to have them
at an arm's length from you,
or even another example of not being able to be real with people and you're consistently lying,
(05:35):
it doesn't create a better version of yourself trying to be a version of yourself that's not real.
And I also believe that when you do create a form of being as honest as possible with your reality,
that will create a real authentic version of a reality of your own.
(05:56):
What you push out will be exactly what you give back.
And this is exactly what can be important for you to identify your own self.
Can you push into helping other people or even into helping yourself to know,
man, I'm putting this person on this pedestal.
I have to calm down or I have to discuss with myself or any person or friend
(06:22):
that I need to work on this with myself.
How can I do better with understanding that this person doesn't need to be here
because we're all just people at the end of the day?
Now, we also do have to explore how does that unrealistic pedestal create social comparison for everybody?
Nowadays, we can see 15 or we can see a whole bunch of celebrities have 15 to 100 million subscribers
(06:49):
or 100 million followers and they could be the most shallowest person on earth.
And those 15 million or 100 million followers will not go away because they have a form of a privilege
of having accessibility or being a creator with a form of reach of touching people's lives
that can unfortunately make them think that they have to create this reality where it's only just them
(07:15):
or it's only just how they will present their lives or they can continue to act the way that they act,
even with their privileges.
And in my personal belief, I genuinely do not think that that's real.
I don't think that is going to be something that is sufficient,
especially with how the world is changing and making people be impactful and be honest and be authentic.
(07:39):
I think that, of course, with your privileges or with what you think is going to work,
it's not going to obviously long-term work for your well-being and for your nervous system
or for your mental health.
Imagine being a person behind closed doors having to pretend to be an act.
(08:01):
You have to lie to yourself or you have to lie to others to be something that you're not.
And that can, of course, change everything of who you are.
If we have to look at the identity of the person that is creating the whole vortex of their own universe.
But going back to looking at the impact of the idolization from your perspective,
(08:26):
you really have to illustrate what that means to you.
And also illustrate how focusing on unrealistic expectations from people can hinder you at the end of the day.
OK, enough of the negatives.
We get to talk about how we get to break free from our chains, y'all.
This is my favorite part of this episode because this is the part that I'm actually at right now with myself
(08:52):
and building and teaching myself what it means to build my self-esteem and what it means to build my self-acceptance.
And I've also received flowers because of the fact that I use these practices.
And then I also use different types of forms that I'm about to explain to you guys.
So the role models that I have and also the role models that you use are playing a part of your life, your everyday life, every day.
(09:21):
So who do you consider your role models? Who do you consider the people that you look up to?
And yes, it is that serious when I say this. Who do you follow? Who do you interact with?
Who do you decide to scroll onto their story or like their TikTok or like their reels?
(09:42):
Who do you decide to interact with on a daily basis? Because that plays a part of who you are.
Yes, we do see millions of different people and millions of different personalities every day.
But what does that mean to you? How do you intentionally play a part with your social media and with your social control?
Do you talk to people? Do you create authentic connections when you talk to strangers?
(10:07):
Do you create a motivating life of your own where you don't have to connect with somebody else and creating a healthy influence of your own self?
Let's also talk about how we have a normalization of celebrities in our life, especially in the Western culture, especially in America.
We have this society where we think that celebrities have to exist. They do not have to exist in our lives.
(10:34):
There are generations of people that do not even care about celebrities and do not have a phone and do not have social media and don't even know the last update that Instagram has made for us.
Why? Because they just do not center themselves into what that is.
Now, specifically talking to Gen Z, I keep saying Gen V. This is crazy. Oh my God, everybody, if you can clip this, please clip every time I say Gen V.
(10:59):
But back to my point, Gen Z, especially the society of Gen Z, we were built in this time, but it doesn't change any of my belief with us moving the times and us shifting the times.
We've done it before and we can do it again, especially with being intentional with our healthy influences and who our positive role models are and also the individuals that we are inspired by and that we speak to and that we create authentic connections with.
(11:30):
We also have to shift the focus from being in one side with our idolization and creating a supportive community.
Our society today isn't really in a supportive community mindset because we have to build off of survival.
We have to think of ourselves and be selfish when in reality we don't need social media.
(11:51):
We just need community. And that's what we have been limiting ourselves from because, of course, capitalistic society, but then also because we think that we could do better by ourselves.
And one thing my grandmother taught me growing up was you have to realize that we have to be together, meaning when she was talking to me about this is my family.
(12:14):
And we're going to have different forms of families in our lives.
We're going to have different forms of people in our lives.
And the more healthy that you create the relationship with the we, the more healthy you create more people joining the we, joining the connections, joining the authentic relationships you build.
(12:35):
How honest are you with yourself when you create those relationships?
Are they idolized or are they actually like level ground and you guys are both seen as equals?
Because even from people that are in the social media constant creator, video creator mindset where they have the privilege, you also have to look at these people might not even look at people as equals either.
(13:00):
You know, they will think of you as lesser than in reality when that's not even true.
So you also have to remove the standard from the creator standpoint if you're listening in your creator.
But then you also have to remove it from the regular person standpoint.
This person isn't better than you because of a privilege that can be immediately removed the next day.
(13:22):
You know, so I always give that information in those tips offer healthy communication, set those boundaries, find purpose in your life and then also connect with those traumas.
But don't cling to them.
Be sure to identify them and have a space where you say, I cannot continue this and we have to be a part talking with those traumas as well.
(13:47):
I also do want to offer tips and strategies of letting go of the idolization forms that you can have.
So here we go.
Explore the importance of developing your healthy self-esteem, but then also your form of self-acceptance as well.
How do you look at what these things are?
Do you know how to better identify your self-esteem?
(14:09):
Do you have self-esteem issues?
Do you feel like you know how to better identify your self-acceptance?
And do you have self-acceptance issues through your mindfulness?
And then also how you can do practices like affirmations, meditation, guided meditations are really, really good.
I would recommend that for sure because it can help load the things in your brain, if that makes sense.
(14:33):
And then also try to explain to somebody, a friend, a therapist or whoever that you choose, the concept of how you find inspiration and then create it.
Instead of looking for a form of somebody else, of creating your dreams, why don't you create your dreams?
Why don't you create the thing that you love so much instead of just seeing somebody do the thing that you want?
(14:54):
You can't live vicariously through that person because that isn't healthy either.
So you could create the thing that you're afraid of.
Don't be afraid of your dreams.
And then lastly, how do you introduce the concept of healthy influences of your life?
How do you look at, again, like I was saying, the people that you follow, the people that you look towards or the people that you have as your role models?
(15:18):
Are they healthy? Do they live near you? Can you knock on their door?
Then in reality, if you can't, you really have to look at knowing that this is not your role model.
This is just somebody that you idolize and that you just look towards.
You don't really know who they are, so you can't have them as a role model for you or what your life can look like because you don't know their entirety of their life either.
(15:42):
Now, this is going to be our last part for this episode and how you can build authentic connections.
We really ought to ditch the one-sided idolization and focus on fostering the real relationships that we can have with other people.
How do you concept healthy influence?
Healthy role models or even healthy people in your life?
(16:03):
These positive people that can be in your life can inspire you without you thinking that you need to worship them.
We could, of course, discuss how to find these individuals, but then also promote them in a better sense where they are being seen without being idolized.
And then also, we can promote the sense of the we-over-me mentality that I explained earlier.
(16:26):
My question to you before we even get into this topic is going to be, how do you navigate your social media?
And then also, how do you navigate influencers, celebrities, and people that you admire?
Are the people that you look towards even following what your beliefs are?
Are they even looking towards what your beliefs are?
What are some of the signs that your admiration or admiration for people are going to be kind of seen as unhealthy?
(16:51):
Where do you put the limit or the boundary within yourself to tell yourself to stop following this person?
What strategies do you have around yourself that build healthy self-esteem and then also reduce the need of idolizing others?
And then before I get into this topic, promise, I promise, I promise you, because this is really important.
(17:13):
We have to touch on the most important part of today's episode and go ahead and add future Solana.
We all have those people that we admire, but sometimes that admiration can morph into something less healthy.
In today's episode, we explored the potential downsides of idolization and how that can impact our mental well-being and our relationships.
(17:37):
But fear not, we also dove into the strategies of letting go of the unhealthy idolization and fostering more balanced and authentic connections with others.
If you found this episode helpful at all, be sure to share it with your friends and family who also might benefit from an idol detox, aka everyone.
And then also, while you're at it, please leave us a review. We love hearing your thoughts and your feedback.
(18:01):
And for more insightful content regarding the behavioral blueprint, please subscribe wherever you go get your podcasts.
To better understand ourselves, we really have to look at what we can address in the present.
Addressing issues in the moment rather than dwelling on the past can further help you build additional boundaries with other people,
(18:23):
but then also with yourself with looking into your life, taking responsibility for your own actions and also trying not to blame others will help you further look into self accountability.
And looking at to other people as well when you try to control things, being willing to compromise with the things that are not able to be controlled.
(18:47):
Like I was saying earlier, healthy relationships are two way street, the finding solutions that work with both people in both parties.
But then also, last but not least, and my personal favorite, seek professional help.
If you're struggling to communicate effectively with people or also with yourself, also offer seeking professional help from a therapist or a counselor if possible.
(19:12):
I also recommend active listening, paying close attention to the person that you're talking to and what they're saying.
And both of you verbally and non verbally, if possible, can clarify the things that you need or want.
Instead of just saying I statements, go ahead and start saying when things are hard.
(19:32):
So you can say when we went through this situation, I begin with we because it makes it feel as if you are in the situation with unification with the other person.
Creating clear understanding with this person when you create the we for it feels like as if it's a team instead of feeling as if it has to be just you create empathy with other people.
(19:59):
Knowing that you have to understand the other person's perspective doesn't have to be the reality.
You get to choose to connect with somebody else's perspective.
Even if you disagree, you can create the space of knowing that person's perspective and what their beliefs are and also what yours are.
They don't have to blend to further alleviate the issue.
(20:21):
They don't have to blend to help the person feel better.
It can just exist as two different things.
And then also create a space for yourself where it's non judgmental.
But then also knowing that it can be honest for yourself and honest for the community that you're in.
If it's not something that you can be honest with, then you have to reevaluate what that relationship is and how healthy it is for your life.
(20:48):
Now, last but not least, let's talk about setting boundaries.
What behaviors do you know that are acceptable or unacceptable in your life that you tolerate?
Personally for myself, there's certain things that I know that I cannot do.
Like when people do things like messing with my time or commitment to time or when they invade my boundaries,
(21:11):
meaning my physical boundaries where they just touch me randomly.
Those are things that are physical or actual that we can identify.
But look into emotional.
How does that emotional boundaries, how strong are your emotional boundaries?
How weak are your emotional boundaries?
And I want you to do a practice that I actually figured out at my recent therapy session that I had last week,
(21:35):
where my therapist told me to communicate the boundaries that I have to myself in a mirror
and practice my boundaries in verbalizing my boundaries where I know that I get to rehearse them.
And then when I have to use them and practice my boundaries and verbally speaking to others,
I can calmly express how I feel.
(21:57):
Why?
Because sometimes it takes practice to know what your boundaries are and be firm and consistent with them.
If they ever have to change, you have to know that it comes with the price of you changing your boundaries.
And then also, you do have to respect other people's boundaries in knowing that it's okay for them to say no as well to you,
(22:20):
because you're not always in the need to be pleased.
It's not always about your way, but then also the consequences of respecting other people's boundaries.
Be prepared to walk away from a relationship if somebody repeatedly violates your boundaries
or if somebody repeatedly violates what your things are.
And sometimes we do also have to look at our boundaries can be very overextensive,
(22:46):
because we have to do a form of protecting ourselves with those boundaries, even if they're flawed or not.
But we also do have to take self-awareness and take self-accountability and know that those things existed for a reason
and they don't have to play a part of my current reality.
My additional tips that I always are always needing to tell everybody is that you're going to have to compromise,
(23:10):
but it doesn't mean you have to compromise in the face of that person.
Healthy relationships always are going to be important to you,
but you don't have to take every single thing somebody does to you.
Again, have consequences for that person or for that thing that doesn't respect your boundaries or who you are.
(23:30):
Now circling back to the main topic of our entire episode,
how can somebody else's boundaries with themselves play a part with social media?
If somebody is always over posting in extremely like unpleasing ways and it's not pleasing to your boundaries,
(23:51):
why do you continue to follow them?
And then also ask yourself, where do you even play a part with your limitations to the things that people are presenting into your life?
Because sometimes social media can show you some really graphic crap
and it can change how you even look into your life and your brain chemistry and all that crazy, crazy stuff.
(24:12):
But again, let's circle back.
We have to look at what these things can do for ourselves
and also the tips that I gave to you guys and how those play a part with idolization.
Because we have to humanize ourselves.
We have to look at ourselves as human beings because we are human beings.
(24:34):
And I do want to say that I appreciate everybody that was listening to this whole entire episode.
That really wraps all of my breakdowns and also all of my parts that I had for this episode.
I really enjoyed this episode.
It was kind of hard for me to even record, honestly speaking,
(24:55):
because I dealt with looking into my boundaries and looking into other people's boundaries recently.
And I learned that things don't have to always turn out the way that you think they have to.
Sometimes they are repurposed and rebuilt into the things that are best for the other person
(25:15):
and then also best for yourself.
And knowing that things are meant to happen for a reason
will further bring you out into betterment into the world.
Today, we explored the idolization and how sometimes those things can hold us back from
forming genuine relationships.
We also unpacked some actionable strategies to break free from that cycle.
(25:36):
Remember the power of we and how much more stronger that is than the pedestal of an idol
and one person in particular.
Let's focus on fostering the real connections, healthy communications, setting boundaries,
and then also to build a supportive community that can lift us or uplift us all.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with your friends and your family
(25:58):
who might also be navigating the world of admiration and inspiration.
And also, while you're at it, again, please leave us a review.
We love hearing your thoughts and helping us spread the word about healthy relationships
and the Behavioral Blueprint.
You can also find us on social media at the Behavioral Blueprint pod with no the,
(26:18):
so the Behavioral Blueprint pod.
And we love connecting with our listeners there too.
So please interact with all of our content and our stories.
And thank you again for listening.
Until next time, please take care of yourselves and remember to surround yourself with people
who inspire you to be your best self and not someone that you need to worship.
Bye.
Welcome to the Behavioral Blueprint podcast,
(00:03):
where we will unlock the secrets of
human behavior and empower you to understand yourself and others.
Hi, everyone. I hope everybody's doing well.
This is week four,
and we're going to be talking about unmasking our idols and finding
your voice and building
authentic relationships with yourself and others.
(00:24):
This overview of this episode is going to be going over how we idolize
people and influencers and also content creators in today's society,
and how that can change us even with ourselves and how we view ourselves.
It can be a potential downside for all of us with understanding how
(00:44):
heavy and deep idolization can be for all of our relationships with each other,
but we will not be ending there.
We're going to also discuss the strategies of letting go of
the unhealthy idolization of others plus
also fostering how we can take care of ourselves
and building authentic relationships with others and ourselves.
(01:05):
But first things first,
let's talk about idolization and what
idolization means to each and every one of us.
Of course, the definition terms always give
away of giving us a textbook version,
but we really do have to dive deep of what we're doing to ourselves,
and then what we do to others when we look into
(01:27):
validating idolization from other people,
but then also what idolization from ourselves look like.
For me, I've looked into trying to understand it on a book by book term.
It doesn't always help when you try to break it down that way,
but I have noticed that going through
(01:47):
your own personal experiences has been the easiest,
but then also the most intense way that people can understand something of their own.
Idolization of its own can be very dark and it can be
very disturbing when you realize that it's trying to fill a void or
a form of self-esteem that hasn't been taken care of from the original standpoint of,
(02:09):
of course, where we root back into ourselves with child growth and who we are as kids.
I think that we have a connection with disappointing ourselves when we realize
our idols are just people and how we lead into even understanding
that the people that we care about or the people that we think that we care about,
because it can be completely one-sided,
(02:31):
are not who we honestly even think of who they are in our head.
We're trying to reach a form of looking into the people that we see on
this pedestal and make it seem as if they have to be the thing that we wish to be,
or we wish other people to be to fix ourselves,
and that's not going to help anybody at the end of the day.
(02:53):
Honestly, we might feel big forms of disappointment when we realize that the people
that are on the pedestal,
they actually are not who we think they are at all.
They have to be themselves and they have to be their own stories and
their own testimonies because that's what was created for them.
(03:15):
That was their journey, that was their step into this life.
It didn't have to be what our voids had to be, if that makes sense.
Sometimes we look into other people because we can't look into ourselves.
We have a fear of looking into ourselves.
Of course, being able to look into yourself is one of the forms of self-acceptance.
(03:37):
If somebody can't take that first step,
then how can they even take care of others or themselves?
Honestly, right now with how the world is looking at idolization,
it's completely disgusting and insane.
But again, to empathize with each other,
we're all human so we all don't, of course,
know every single one of each other's lives behind closed doors.
(04:00):
But right now to prove one of the points that I'm making,
we're looking into people's lives right now and people are being exposed as we
speak about their actions and their behaviors and sometimes that
doesn't come into the limelight until decades later or until years later or months later.
These people that we look up to or that have privilege or that have
(04:26):
different forms of absolute things that a lot of people in middle-class or lower-class don't have,
and that can absolutely change anybody's mental.
Because if you think that you are better than somebody and you don't have
enough integrity of your own or humbleness of your own,
you're going to be in some type of way exploiting people,
(04:49):
or even treating people negatively because of how you think that you're better than somebody else.
Of course, that has a long-term effect,
so don't be an asshole to people.
But we also have to discuss how idolization can hinder
your personal growth and prevent you from building genuine connections with people,
and how that can change how you can have progression in your life,
(05:12):
or how that can change how the authentic people are going to enter your life.
Because if you're not honest with yourself,
with how you can create a void with people or create a form of distance with people to have them
at an arm's length from you,
or even another example of not being able to be real with people and you're consistently lying,
(05:35):
it doesn't create a better version of yourself trying to be a version of yourself that's not real.
And I also believe that when you do create a form of being as honest as possible with your reality,
that will create a real authentic version of a reality of your own.
(05:56):
What you push out will be exactly what you give back.
And this is exactly what can be important for you to identify your own self.
Can you push into helping other people or even into helping yourself to know,
man, I'm putting this person on this pedestal.
I have to calm down or I have to discuss with myself or any person or friend
(06:22):
that I need to work on this with myself.
How can I do better with understanding that this person doesn't need to be here
because we're all just people at the end of the day?
Now, we also do have to explore how does that unrealistic pedestal create social comparison for everybody?
Nowadays, we can see 15 or we can see a whole bunch of celebrities have 15 to 100 million subscribers
(06:49):
or 100 million followers and they could be the most shallowest person on earth.
And those 15 million or 100 million followers will not go away because they have a form of a privilege
of having accessibility or being a creator with a form of reach of touching people's lives
that can unfortunately make them think that they have to create this reality where it's only just them
(07:15):
or it's only just how they will present their lives or they can continue to act the way that they act,
even with their privileges.
And in my personal belief, I genuinely do not think that that's real.
I don't think that is going to be something that is sufficient,
especially with how the world is changing and making people be impactful and be honest and be authentic.
(07:39):
I think that, of course, with your privileges or with what you think is going to work,
it's not going to obviously long-term work for your well-being and for your nervous system
or for your mental health.
Imagine being a person behind closed doors having to pretend to be an act.
(08:01):
You have to lie to yourself or you have to lie to others to be something that you're not.
And that can, of course, change everything of who you are.
If we have to look at the identity of the person that is creating the whole vortex of their own universe.
But going back to looking at the impact of the idolization from your perspective,
(08:26):
you really have to illustrate what that means to you.
And also illustrate how focusing on unrealistic expectations from people can hinder you at the end of the day.
OK, enough of the negatives.
We get to talk about how we get to break free from our chains, y'all.
This is my favorite part of this episode because this is the part that I'm actually at right now with myself
(08:52):
and building and teaching myself what it means to build my self-esteem and what it means to build my self-acceptance.
And I've also received flowers because of the fact that I use these practices.
And then I also use different types of forms that I'm about to explain to you guys.
So the role models that I have and also the role models that you use are playing a part of your life, your everyday life, every day.
(09:21):
So who do you consider your role models? Who do you consider the people that you look up to?
And yes, it is that serious when I say this. Who do you follow? Who do you interact with?
Who do you decide to scroll onto their story or like their TikTok or like their reels?
(09:42):
Who do you decide to interact with on a daily basis? Because that plays a part of who you are.
Yes, we do see millions of different people and millions of different personalities every day.
But what does that mean to you? How do you intentionally play a part with your social media and with your social control?
Do you talk to people? Do you create authentic connections when you talk to strangers?
(10:07):
Do you create a motivating life of your own where you don't have to connect with somebody else and creating a healthy influence of your own self?
Let's also talk about how we have a normalization of celebrities in our life, especially in the Western culture, especially in America.
We have this society where we think that celebrities have to exist. They do not have to exist in our lives.
(10:34):
There are generations of people that do not even care about celebrities and do not have a phone and do not have social media and don't even know the last update that Instagram has made for us.
Why? Because they just do not center themselves into what that is.
Now, specifically talking to Gen Z, I keep saying Gen V. This is crazy. Oh my God, everybody, if you can clip this, please clip every time I say Gen V.
(10:59):
But back to my point, Gen Z, especially the society of Gen Z, we were built in this time, but it doesn't change any of my belief with us moving the times and us shifting the times.
We've done it before and we can do it again, especially with being intentional with our healthy influences and who our positive role models are and also the individuals that we are inspired by and that we speak to and that we create authentic connections with.
(11:30):
We also have to shift the focus from being in one side with our idolization and creating a supportive community.
Our society today isn't really in a supportive community mindset because we have to build off of survival.
We have to think of ourselves and be selfish when in reality we don't need social media.
(11:51):
We just need community. And that's what we have been limiting ourselves from because, of course, capitalistic society, but then also because we think that we could do better by ourselves.
And one thing my grandmother taught me growing up was you have to realize that we have to be together, meaning when she was talking to me about this is my family.
(12:14):
And we're going to have different forms of families in our lives.
We're going to have different forms of people in our lives.
And the more healthy that you create the relationship with the we, the more healthy you create more people joining the we, joining the connections, joining the authentic relationships you build.
(12:35):
How honest are you with yourself when you create those relationships?
Are they idolized or are they actually like level ground and you guys are both seen as equals?
Because even from people that are in the social media constant creator, video creator mindset where they have the privilege, you also have to look at these people might not even look at people as equals either.
(13:00):
You know, they will think of you as lesser than in reality when that's not even true.
So you also have to remove the standard from the creator standpoint if you're listening in your creator.
But then you also have to remove it from the regular person standpoint.
This person isn't better than you because of a privilege that can be immediately removed the next day.
(13:22):
You know, so I always give that information in those tips offer healthy communication, set those boundaries, find purpose in your life and then also connect with those traumas.
But don't cling to them.
Be sure to identify them and have a space where you say, I cannot continue this and we have to be a part talking with those traumas as well.
(13:47):
I also do want to offer tips and strategies of letting go of the idolization forms that you can have.
So here we go.
Explore the importance of developing your healthy self-esteem, but then also your form of self-acceptance as well.
How do you look at what these things are?
Do you know how to better identify your self-esteem?
(14:09):
Do you have self-esteem issues?
Do you feel like you know how to better identify your self-acceptance?
And do you have self-acceptance issues through your mindfulness?
And then also how you can do practices like affirmations, meditation, guided meditations are really, really good.
I would recommend that for sure because it can help load the things in your brain, if that makes sense.
(14:33):
And then also try to explain to somebody, a friend, a therapist or whoever that you choose, the concept of how you find inspiration and then create it.
Instead of looking for a form of somebody else, of creating your dreams, why don't you create your dreams?
Why don't you create the thing that you love so much instead of just seeing somebody do the thing that you want?
(14:54):
You can't live vicariously through that person because that isn't healthy either.
So you could create the thing that you're afraid of.
Don't be afraid of your dreams.
And then lastly, how do you introduce the concept of healthy influences of your life?
How do you look at, again, like I was saying, the people that you follow, the people that you look towards or the people that you have as your role models?
(15:18):
Are they healthy? Do they live near you? Can you knock on their door?
Then in reality, if you can't, you really have to look at knowing that this is not your role model.
This is just somebody that you idolize and that you just look towards.
You don't really know who they are, so you can't have them as a role model for you or what your life can look like because you don't know their entirety of their life either.
(15:42):
Now, this is going to be our last part for this episode and how you can build authentic connections.
We really ought to ditch the one-sided idolization and focus on fostering the real relationships that we can have with other people.
How do you concept healthy influence?
Healthy role models or even healthy people in your life?
(16:03):
These positive people that can be in your life can inspire you without you thinking that you need to worship them.
We could, of course, discuss how to find these individuals, but then also promote them in a better sense where they are being seen without being idolized.
And then also, we can promote the sense of the we-over-me mentality that I explained earlier.
(16:26):
My question to you before we even get into this topic is going to be, how do you navigate your social media?
And then also, how do you navigate influencers, celebrities, and people that you admire?
Are the people that you look towards even following what your beliefs are?
Are they even looking towards what your beliefs are?
What are some of the signs that your admiration or admiration for people are going to be kind of seen as unhealthy?
(16:51):
Where do you put the limit or the boundary within yourself to tell yourself to stop following this person?
What strategies do you have around yourself that build healthy self-esteem and then also reduce the need of idolizing others?
And then before I get into this topic, promise, I promise, I promise you, because this is really important.
(17:13):
We have to touch on the most important part of today's episode and go ahead and add future Solana.
We all have those people that we admire, but sometimes that admiration can morph into something less healthy.
In today's episode, we explored the potential downsides of idolization and how that can impact our mental well-being and our relationships.
(17:37):
But fear not, we also dove into the strategies of letting go of the unhealthy idolization and fostering more balanced and authentic connections with others.
If you found this episode helpful at all, be sure to share it with your friends and family who also might benefit from an idol detox, aka everyone.
And then also, while you're at it, please leave us a review. We love hearing your thoughts and your feedback.
(18:01):
And for more insightful content regarding the behavioral blueprint, please subscribe wherever you go get your podcasts.
To better understand ourselves, we really have to look at what we can address in the present.
Addressing issues in the moment rather than dwelling on the past can further help you build additional boundaries with other people,
(18:23):
but then also with yourself with looking into your life, taking responsibility for your own actions and also trying not to blame others will help you further look into self accountability.
And looking at to other people as well when you try to control things, being willing to compromise with the things that are not able to be controlled.
(18:47):
Like I was saying earlier, healthy relationships are two way street, the finding solutions that work with both people in both parties.
But then also, last but not least, and my personal favorite, seek professional help.
If you're struggling to communicate effectively with people or also with yourself, also offer seeking professional help from a therapist or a counselor if possible.
(19:12):
I also recommend active listening, paying close attention to the person that you're talking to and what they're saying.
And both of you verbally and non verbally, if possible, can clarify the things that you need or want.
Instead of just saying I statements, go ahead and start saying when things are hard.
(19:32):
So you can say when we went through this situation, I begin with we because it makes it feel as if you are in the situation with unification with the other person.
Creating clear understanding with this person when you create the we for it feels like as if it's a team instead of feeling as if it has to be just you create empathy with other people.
(19:59):
Knowing that you have to understand the other person's perspective doesn't have to be the reality.
You get to choose to connect with somebody else's perspective.
Even if you disagree, you can create the space of knowing that person's perspective and what their beliefs are and also what yours are.
They don't have to blend to further alleviate the issue.
(20:21):
They don't have to blend to help the person feel better.
It can just exist as two different things.
And then also create a space for yourself where it's non judgmental.
But then also knowing that it can be honest for yourself and honest for the community that you're in.
If it's not something that you can be honest with, then you have to reevaluate what that relationship is and how healthy it is for your life.
(20:48):
Now, last but not least, let's talk about setting boundaries.
What behaviors do you know that are acceptable or unacceptable in your life that you tolerate?
Personally for myself, there's certain things that I know that I cannot do.
Like when people do things like messing with my time or commitment to time or when they invade my boundaries,
(21:11):
meaning my physical boundaries where they just touch me randomly.
Those are things that are physical or actual that we can identify.
But look into emotional.
How does that emotional boundaries, how strong are your emotional boundaries?
How weak are your emotional boundaries?
And I want you to do a practice that I actually figured out at my recent therapy session that I had last week,
(21:35):
where my therapist told me to communicate the boundaries that I have to myself in a mirror
and practice my boundaries in verbalizing my boundaries where I know that I get to rehearse them.
And then when I have to use them and practice my boundaries and verbally speaking to others,
I can calmly express how I feel.
(21:57):
Why?
Because sometimes it takes practice to know what your boundaries are and be firm and consistent with them.
If they ever have to change, you have to know that it comes with the price of you changing your boundaries.
And then also, you do have to respect other people's boundaries in knowing that it's okay for them to say no as well to you,
(22:20):
because you're not always in the need to be pleased.
It's not always about your way, but then also the consequences of respecting other people's boundaries.
Be prepared to walk away from a relationship if somebody repeatedly violates your boundaries
or if somebody repeatedly violates what your things are.
And sometimes we do also have to look at our boundaries can be very overextensive,
(22:46):
because we have to do a form of protecting ourselves with those boundaries, even if they're flawed or not.
But we also do have to take self-awareness and take self-accountability and know that those things existed for a reason
and they don't have to play a part of my current reality.
My additional tips that I always are always needing to tell everybody is that you're going to have to compromise,
(23:10):
but it doesn't mean you have to compromise in the face of that person.
Healthy relationships always are going to be important to you,
but you don't have to take every single thing somebody does to you.
Again, have consequences for that person or for that thing that doesn't respect your boundaries or who you are.
(23:30):
Now circling back to the main topic of our entire episode,
how can somebody else's boundaries with themselves play a part with social media?
If somebody is always over posting in extremely like unpleasing ways and it's not pleasing to your boundaries,
(23:51):
why do you continue to follow them?
And then also ask yourself, where do you even play a part with your limitations to the things that people are presenting into your life?
Because sometimes social media can show you some really graphic crap
and it can change how you even look into your life and your brain chemistry and all that crazy, crazy stuff.
(24:12):
But again, let's circle back.
We have to look at what these things can do for ourselves
and also the tips that I gave to you guys and how those play a part with idolization.
Because we have to humanize ourselves.
We have to look at ourselves as human beings because we are human beings.
(24:34):
And I do want to say that I appreciate everybody that was listening to this whole entire episode.
That really wraps all of my breakdowns and also all of my parts that I had for this episode.
I really enjoyed this episode.
It was kind of hard for me to even record, honestly speaking,
(24:55):
because I dealt with looking into my boundaries and looking into other people's boundaries recently.
And I learned that things don't have to always turn out the way that you think they have to.
Sometimes they are repurposed and rebuilt into the things that are best for the other person
(25:15):
and then also best for yourself.
And knowing that things are meant to happen for a reason
will further bring you out into betterment into the world.
Today, we explored the idolization and how sometimes those things can hold us back from
forming genuine relationships.
We also unpacked some actionable strategies to break free from that cycle.
(25:36):
Remember the power of we and how much more stronger that is than the pedestal of an idol
and one person in particular.
Let's focus on fostering the real connections, healthy communications, setting boundaries,
and then also to build a supportive community that can lift us or uplift us all.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with your friends and your family
(25:58):
who might also be navigating the world of admiration and inspiration.
And also, while you're at it, again, please leave us a review.
We love hearing your thoughts and helping us spread the word about healthy relationships
and the Behavioral Blueprint.
You can also find us on social media at the Behavioral Blueprint pod with no the,
(26:18):
so the Behavioral Blueprint pod.
And we love connecting with our listeners there too.
So please interact with all of our content and our stories.
And thank you again for listening.
Until next time, please take care of yourselves and remember to surround yourself with people
who inspire you to be your best self and not someone that you need to worship.
Bye.
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