Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey there, welcome
into the Ben Maynard program.
Thanks for being here.
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(00:30):
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(01:13):
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(01:36):
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And, as you can see, thismorning we have a guest, and my
guest this morning is RandyLatzman.
(01:58):
She is the creator of theSurviving Mom blog, so welcome
in, randy.
Thanks for being here.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Thank you for having
me.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Oh, it's my pleasure.
Before we really dive intoanything, why don't you kind of
if you could just take usthrough the genesis of Surviving
Mom blog?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
the genesis of
Surviving Mom blog.
Sure, so it started in around2020.
It was during the pandemic.
I watched some show on TV thatI cannot recall the name of it
and it was about this guy thatwent to law school.
Long story short, he decided,instead of going to this, to
work for this big law firm andmake lots of money.
He was going to do pro bono andhelp a little guy and for some
reason, watching that show, Iturned to my husband and I said
(02:50):
I want to do something to helppeople and he said that's great,
what do you want to do?
I always loved writing.
I went to a special school backin the day in junior high for
creative writing.
It's always been an outlet ofmine, it's been a hobby of mine.
Never thought I can do anythingwith it and I decided that we
use my love of writing and startreaching out to different
(03:13):
organizations, differentfoundations, and share my own
story of childhood abuse.
And I reached out to differentorganizations and started
sharing my story, thinking thatwould kind of be it, and started
getting some feedback, startedhearing from people that my
words resonated with them, thatit helped them, and I did
something I never thought Iwould do.
(03:34):
I started a website, and bythat I mean I had my husband put
together the website.
Yeah, okay.
I did the writing and it kind ofjust took off from there.
So surviving mom blog is aboutmy own story.
It's kind of a double meaningsurviving my own mother and
surviving being a mother and thetrials and tribulations of
(03:57):
motherhood.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So is the.
So the website more is gearedtowards helping mothers who are
maybe currently raising children, or does it even go beyond that
?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
So it's.
I mean, if you go through it,there's a lot of my backstory in
there.
There's a lot of support there,whether it's codependency,
addiction, special needs, like Italk about a lot of different
topics there, especially in 2020, where I was trying to figure
out my own path and what it is Iwanted to do with my writing.
So you get a lot of thatsupport there from others that
(04:37):
just in terms of mental healthsupport, and I get a lot of
people till this day that willreach out to me and say that
they saw a post from 2020 aboutabuse or about addiction or
something and how it helped them.
But more nowadays, it's moreabout my own journey as a mother
and how my past does not haveto define who I am today as a
person, as a mother, my ownmotherhood struggles, the ups,
(05:01):
the downs, the highs, the lowsof motherhood and the poems that
I write about it.
So current time, it's mostlypoetry that you'll see on there,
but you can go back and you cansee lots of blog posts that
cover a myriad of topics.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Right, you said
something there.
You touched on something.
I think it's really importantthat our past doesn't have to
define who we are, and I reallyhonestly believe that it's so
key and it's so important forpeople to recognize and to lean
(05:38):
into that.
I don't even know if you haveto lean into it.
To me, honestly, I think it'sjust more common sense than
anything else.
But, okay, let to lean into it.
I think to me, honestly, Ithink it's just more common
sense than anything else.
But, okay, let's lean into it.
Because there's so many people,whether it's in your life, my
life or just in general, thatuse their past, their childhood
(06:09):
past, their childhood, theirupbringing, as an excuse for the
way they behave in their adultlife, for the decisions that
they make in their adult life.
And I think it's exactly whatit is.
It's an excuse.
Our past doesn't define who weare.
We can make it a part of us,because that's just what it is.
It's a part of our life and itdoesn't have to be negative.
(06:32):
And so many people use it as ina negative sense and say, well,
I'm this way because of this.
Here.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yes, I think that a
big part of my own journey was
accepting what had happened tome.
This is who I am at that period.
This is what I went through.
I'm a child abuse survivor.
I had to recognize that I wasabused to stop the cycle.
And once you recognize what'shappened to you, you're able to
then move past it.
I think that a lot of peoplefrom my own experience if you're
(07:03):
specifically with my mother,who was also abused if you're
not willing to accept whathappened to you, how do you stop
it?
So I think there's thatcomponent to it also the
inability to recognize whathappened to you.
I also think a lot of peopleget stuck in it and they don't
know how to get past it, and Ithink that being willing to
(07:24):
accept it, tell your story, sayit was my past, it doesn't have
to be my future, and I literallyI had someone reach out to me a
couple of weeks ago fromInstagram who said he read one
of my posts about it and hedidn't think he could do
anything with his life.
He had been brought up with hisparents telling him that he
didn't matter he had.
(07:44):
It was a very sad story and Ibasically just wrote back to him
and I realized at some point Ihad to take a step back because
he had to come to theserealizations on his own.
But that who you are, you get todecide that.
You get to decide who you arenot.
You get to decide what yourfuture is going to be.
You get to write the nextchapter of your life.
You didn't get to write thatchapter in your past.
(08:06):
Your parents kind of wrote thatchapter for you and made those
decisions for you.
But you get to make thosedecisions now.
When you get to decide what todo with your life and the person
that you want to become, theydon't get to decide that for you
.
And when you let other peoplemake those decisions for you,
you're giving away all yourpower.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Don't do that.
Yeah, no, I agree with youwholeheartedly in that and it
well, yes, you're absolutelyright.
Can you expound a little bit onyour upbringing, your childhood
, kind of what brought you to,to your writing stage, where you
(08:47):
began with that and then, ofcourse, getting into, uh, your
website?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
All right so.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I was brought up.
I I have a sister, um, I havetwo parents that were constantly
fighting, constantly fighting.
They were either fighting orthey were not speaking.
It was a very tumultuoushousehold.
My mom, like I said, she was achild abuse survivor herself
(09:19):
Right in turn started doingthings to me when I was eight.
She started throwing me out ofthe house and saw nothing wrong
with that, and when I tried toarticulate to her that that was
wrong even as a young child Iknew that was wrong I was told
that if I behaved differentlyshe wouldn't have to do it.
So I was being blamed for whatshe was doing.
(09:40):
My dad went along with it.
It constant fighting, constantfighting.
Just growing up feeling veryunsafe.
My entire life I was conditionedto see the world as a very,
very scary place.
Because the world to me was avery scary place.
As the eldest I got most of it.
I tried to shield my sister asbest as I could from it and I
(10:04):
just remember most of the timemy parents were verbal fighting
and I tried to shield my sisteras best as I could from it.
And I just remember I mean mostof the time my parents were, it
was verbal fighting.
There were a couple of times itwas more physical, and I
remember covering my sister'seyes at one point trying to
prevent her from seeing anything.
Just a lot of really terriblethings.
And as a child I knew somethingwas wrong wrong, but I didn't
(10:25):
know how wrong it was.
And as I grew up I always vowedI was not going to do that to
my own children.
Um had my daughter and when Ihad my daughter it was even more
of a profound realization likehow can you have this child and
I loved her so completely thathow could you ever hurt your
(10:47):
child?
It just I couldn't fathom it.
I couldn't understand how thatwas possible.
And, like I said, going back to2020, when I saw I thought about
all those people who didn'thave support.
I saw all those people whodidn't have anyone because of
quarantining and isolation andeverything.
And I thought about people thatmaybe't have anyone because of
(11:07):
quarantining and isolation andeverything.
And I thought about people thatmaybe hadn't come to those
realizations or didn'tunderstand or thought they were
all alone.
And I remember growing upfeeling so alone and feeling
like I had no one I can talk toabout this and feeling so much
shame about my past and what hadhappened to me, and I just
wanted other people to know thatthey weren't alone with their
suffering, with their pain, withtheir story.
I wanted to encourage people totell their story and to not
(11:28):
feel shame about it, and sothat's when I started writing
and eventually started writingon my blog.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Can I ask you a
little bit of a excuse me, a
little bit of a personalquestion?
As a man, you're never supposedto ask a woman her age, but can
I ask you how old you are,randy?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I just turned 42.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
42.
Okay All right.
Yes, wow, my middle child isclose to your age.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
April 29th was my
birthday, so, yes, I just turned
22.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I'm sorry.
Wait, wait, when was yourbirthday?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
April 29th.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
April 29th.
Well, happy birthday to you.
That's great.
That was just a couple of daysago, that's awesome.
So was there, and you'll seewhere I'm going with this.
Was there any other?
You said there was a little bitof physical abuse in the
(12:29):
household.
Was it?
Was it just between yourparents, or did it?
Did it happen to you and yoursister as well, and was there
any type of drugs or alcoholinvolved in in in that as well
which caused your parents to tobe at each other's throats
constantly?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
No, they were not.
There were no drugs and alcohol.
So but there was, yes, therewas physical abuse.
It was to me.
I mean, yes, there was physicalabuse.
It's funny because when I talkabout my own story, I say it was
more of emotional andpsychological right, but there
were absolute incidences, whereI remember being dragged by my
hair across the hallway, um, Imean, I remember, remember being
(13:03):
whacked across the face ofthings.
But also I know that back whenI was a kid I mean I talked to
my husband about it Like peoplegetting hit was much more
commonplace than it is now.
Now it's a big no-no.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Back then, it's still
not a no-no for me.
I still believe a good swat onthe behind is okay, but I think
there's a difference betweendiscipline and abuse.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
It was.
It was like dragging me acrossmy head.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Yeah, that's kind of
not normal.
So, and the reason why I ask isand we touched on it a little
bit earlier before, before westarted is, you know, I, I came
from a very similar backgroundand an upbringing.
I was the oldest.
Well, let me put it this waythere's a whole slew of siblings
(13:52):
that I have, both older than meand younger than me, and at
this point, my parents' marriagewas my mom's first.
She was very, very young and mydad was much older than than my
mother and um, it was hissecond marriage, um and but, but
(14:12):
you know, he had children frommultiple, from multiple women.
So I, I mean, I always say mydad is the father of our country
and um, but but in my, in my,my older brother and I, I'm the
old, like I said, I'm the oldestwith my parents, from my mother
, I am, and then my olderbrother, he's the oldest from
(14:35):
dad and his mother.
So we, you know, we're stillvery close, him and I are, and
we talk all the time and weshare our, our common
experiences growing up.
And um, you know where oursituation came from.
(14:56):
Is is, our dad was a, uh, aworld war two veteran, and he,
you know, he fought in thePacific on a destroyer, but I
don't know if it was hisupbringing or if it was his war
experience that he really turnedto alcohol.
And I I don't know if it washis upbringing or if it was his
war experience that he reallyturned to alcohol, and I don't
know.
I don't, I think about it now,but but he sometimes, I think
that he was using that to numbhis pain from his wartime
(15:18):
experience.
I can't say for sure because henever really, he never really
talked about it and I can't askhim now.
He passed away 27 years ago but, um, but but he never.
He just rarely, rarely evertalked about, you know, his time
in in the service and, uh, Iknow, for me, uh, around the
(15:41):
house growing up, it was very,it was just, it was, it was.
Things were volatile, to say theleast, and, and to what you
were saying, screaming andhollering was a constant in in
in my house.
You know my dad was a businessowner, had his own business and
(16:03):
you know the one thing that I,the one great, actually great
positive thing that I can sayabout my father is that he had a
tremendous work ethic.
So he showed up to do his thingsix days a week, sometimes
seven days a week, but at theend of the day he'd come home
and he'd been drinking alreadyand he would come home and he
(16:26):
would fight with my mom.
Most of the time it was a lotof screaming and hollering.
There were several occasionswhere it got physical that I
witnessed and you know, it justwas one of those things.
He would pass out on the livingroom floor, on the couch, and
or sometimes even at the diningroom table, on the living room
floor, on the couch, orsometimes even at the dining
(16:46):
room table.
But he'd be up the next morningat 4 o'clock, 4.30, making his
coffee, taking a shower, shaving, getting himself ready.
He'd be at the shop at 5.30,opening by 6, six days a week,
sometimes seven.
So it's just one of thosethings, but it was a cycle and
(17:08):
it was a thing that when it wasnwasn't happening, when there
wasn't the screaming, thehollering, the arguing, uh,
those types of things it was.
It was like a rarity and it tookfor me and our friends and I
say ours meaning my youngerbrother and I.
We had we.
He was only two and a halfyears younger than I, and so we
grew up with the same friendsand we hung out with all the
(17:30):
same people and so when ourfriends would come over, it was
like what are we going to get?
And there were times I mean, Ishouldn't say there were times,
it was constant where we couldbe out across the street and
still hear our mom and dadyelling at each other.
Nothing more embarrassing for a10, 11, 12 year old kid to have
to deal with that, and it can,you know, it can lead you down a
(18:00):
very bad road.
But even at that age I knew, Imade a determination that this
was not going to be my lifemoving forward.
This wasn't going to be my lifeas I grew up, the way that we
were treated at home.
We didn't have hugs, we didn'thave I love you's going around
the house that type of thing.
(18:21):
I knew that, probably verysimilar to you, I knew that I
was going to be loving on mykids, and I mean so much so that
gosh, they hate it.
I've fawned on them so much.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, I get it.
You love me, I get it.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I've fawned on them
so much and I, I you know, as,
as they were growing up and ofcourse, like this said, they're
all adults now, all three ofthem.
But but but I mean, to this dayI still try to embarrass them
in front of family and friendsjust with hugs and try to kiss
them on the cheek and all thatkind of stuff.
And they hate it.
(19:12):
But but I want them to reallyunderstand.
No, this is I love you.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
You know I want you
to, I want you to have something
that I never had, and I wantyou to enjoy it, you know.
So I have a question for you.
So one of the things that Inoticed and I actually wrote
something on my Facebookyesterday about this is that
raising my daughter in many wayshas healed me.
It's I've gotten to have like asecond childhood.
I've gotten to see like throughher eyes and everything but at
the same time.
There's a lot of grievinginvolved because she has all the
(19:35):
things.
She knows what it is to have amother that loves her.
She knows what it is to have afather who loves her.
She never has to question that.
And then there's always thispart of me that that child,
within that you know you still,no matter how old you get, you
still want, you, still yearn forthat, and so I guess my
question to you is how do you,how do you deal with that?
Because that's, that'ssomething that I don't think you
(19:57):
ever fully get over.
You never get over not havingthat.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Um, well, I think for
me personally, never getting
over not having that love andaffection.
Growing up, I've taken it intomy adult life and in my marriage
(20:23):
my wife knows how I mean she isthe absolute greatest thing.
She is my I always.
You know, I say this publicly,I say it privately she is my
gold, she is the pot of gold atthe end of my rainbow and that
is the absolute truth.
I don't say that just to say it.
(20:45):
Um, but for me, I know that I am, I'm not a, I'm not a jealous
guy, I am not an insecure guy.
I'm very secure with who I am.
I do have insecurities in loveand I always need to be
(21:10):
reassured that somebody loves me, and I do.
I recognize that and I knowthat.
And sometimes I have toapologize to my wife Catherine
about that, because you knowit's like I just look.
I know that she loves mecompletely, but I want to hear
(21:32):
it.
And so I'll make comments toher and she'll say you know I
love you and I said but I needto hear it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
I need to hear you
say that I need to.
I need to have you grab my handor give me a hug or just
reassure me, and that's justjust reassure me and that's just
.
But that's me.
I think that is, and I do thinkthat that comes from that.
Insecurity comes from nothaving that as a child.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Because so many kids
have that and they grow up with
that knowledge and with thatfoundation, and so I think when
you grow up without that,there's a piece of you that's
just.
It wasn't fulfilled as a child,you didn't get that, and so it
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, and you're, and
you're constantly, at least for
me, I mean, I'm constantlyyearning for it, you know, and
thirsting for it, and and youknow, look, I'll be 60 in August
.
So it's like, ok, at some pointam I ever going to get past it?
No, I don't think so.
I don't think so, but, but, butI recognize that, though, and,
(22:39):
and I don't let it, I don't letit get in the way or cause any
issues, and I, and I don't letmy, I have never let my, my, my
childhood, you know, dictate howI behave in my adult life.
You know, I, I'm not analcoholic.
(23:01):
I did, I don't, I don't lean onon alcohol, I don't.
I've never done drugs and allthat kind of stuff.
You know, I'm just, I'm asquare, I really am, I really
I'm just I am, I'm a, I'm a dork.
But um, that's just what Ichose and I knew that, okay,
(23:21):
this wasn't, this wasn't what Iwanted.
You know, if I didn't want itas a child, how would I want it
as an adult?
So, this wasn't what I wanted.
So I would make, uh, you know,a 180 from that.
And I think that inside, most,most people growing up as
they're getting into their teenyears and their young adult
(23:43):
years.
They know it but don'tnecessarily act on it right.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
I also think, coming
to the realization that your
parents failed you, your parentsdidn't give you what you needed
.
I think, more than anything,kids want to believe the best in
their parents and they want tosee the good in their parents
and, I think, realizing whoa,this was not good, they did not
do right by us, they did not dothe right thing, they were not
(24:09):
good parents.
Like that's a hard pill toswallow, that's not an easy
thing for a child to acceptabout a parent and that's at any
age Like that's just a hardthing to accept and I think that
once you realize I didn'taccept that I think that gives
you the freedom to then moveforward and make better choices.
But it's a hard thing for a lotof people to accept.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Because you want to
see the best in them.
They're your parents, no matterwhat, no matter what they've
done to you.
At the end of the day, they areyour parents.
But at the same time, thatdoesn't justify anything and I'm
estranged from my mother.
I've been estranged from hersince my daughter is four, I
think is when I, so she, mydaughter's now 12.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
So it's been eight
years.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And my mother started
doing.
My mom is very hot and cold, sowhen things were great, the sun
was shining and she would just,you would feel like the best,
the most incredible person inthe world.
She had that personality, andwhen things were bad, you were
shunned, you were nothing to her.
It was very hot and cold, andso she would go periods without
talking to me, and when shestarted doing it to my daughter,
(25:13):
I said that's it, Absolutelynot.
You're not going to do a thing.
I'm not going to have mydaughter growing up and
questioning love.
Nope, no, no no.
The last time that happens andafter I had warned her that if
this happens again, that's it.
That was it.
I just it was the hardest thingI've ever done, but the best
(25:33):
thing I've ever done, and I saidyou know, you can't be in my
life any longer, you can't be inmy daughter's life any longer.
And it's been really hard,especially as my mom gets older.
My sister still has arelationship with my mother,
which makes it even harder.
Older, my sister still has arelationship with my mother,
which makes it even harder.
So, being the one that says I'mgoing to stop it, I'm not going
(25:54):
to allow it.
It's not just hard for you, it'shard.
You don't always get thesupport of the people around you
.
They don't always understand orwant to understand why you're
not accepting it.
Because it's easier for them tojust go along with it.
Just make up, just figure itout.
It's easier for them to justjust go along with it.
Just just make up, just figureit out.
It's easier for them.
It's not easier for you andit's not the right thing for you
(26:15):
and it's not the right thing.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
No, you're absolutely
right.
And yeah, I mean, I look atthings this way.
Look, I mean I'm, I'm a, I'm aChristian guy.
Okay, I really am, I, I, youknow, I, I, I try to, I'm.
I'm in church every Sunday.
I'm teaching, you know, sundayschool to third and fourth
(26:40):
graders on Sunday morning.
So you know, I, I am at thispoint, I am absolutely living my
best life, but it doesn't meanthat there haven't been painful
experiences in the past and, asa Christian, I have learned to
forgive.
But I don't know if it's theright approach, but I say, okay,
(27:02):
I forgive your transgressions,I forgive you for hurting me
this way or doing this or that,but because I forgive you, it
doesn't mean that I need to hangout with you, it doesn't mean
that I need to be with you.
(27:22):
I'm not at that point.
I forgive you.
Everything's good, but I thinkyou know we have to keep our
distance.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, a hundred
percent, you can forgive.
It doesn't mean you forget, itdoesn't mean you get amnesia.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
No, I never forget.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Nobody ever forgets,
never forget and you have to
forgive for yourself, Like Ilearned that, like you don't
forgive for the other person, Iforgave because I was harboring
so much anger and hurt and painabout it that the best thing I
can do for myself was to let goof that and to say she did the
best she could.
She did.
It doesn't mean I condone it,it doesn't mean it's okay, but
(27:56):
she did do the best she could.
I know she did and it wasn'tenough.
I'm not mad at her anymore, andit took a long time to get to
that point where I'm not angryanymore about it mad at her
anymore, and it took a long timeto get to that point where I'm
not angry anymore about it, andanger is a hard thing to hang on
to, because not only your angertowards somebody else, it
(28:17):
doesn't.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
it doesn't affect
them at all, but it eats away at
you, yeah, so that's the thing.
So when you recognize that andyou go through your forgiveness
and you just let everything go,you're so much more at peace yes
, 100.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I mean, one of the
things I had to stop was that.
You know my growing up, like we, in a household filled with
screaming all the time.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I I, that was my
normal.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
And so when I married
my husband and they all they
don't raise their voices, theydon't do those things and I was.
I would yell, I would raise myvoice, I would get upset, I
would do all those things and Ihad to recognize, okay, when I
do those things, I'm turninginto someone I don't want to be
(29:02):
Like that anger that I had ismaking me someone I don't want
to be.
I don't want to be angry allthe time.
My mother is angry all the time.
I me someone I don't want to be.
I don't want to be angry allthe time.
My mother is angry all the time.
I don't want to be angry allthe time.
I don't want my daughtergrowing up and seeing a mother
that's angry all the time.
I need to figure out ways to letthat go, and so it's a work in
progress.
Like we're human, we're goingto get upset.
Obviously, we're going to getdays that we're going to lose
(29:22):
our cool.
But I'm not.
I don't do that anymore.
I've let that go, and that wasone of the.
That was a really hard thing todo.
That was a hard thing to dobecause it's ingrained in you.
Like you grow up and you hearyelling all the time and you're
all just yelling at each other.
That's how you communicate,sadly, and so learning to redo
it and not have healthycommunication not yelling at
(29:44):
each other in forms ofcommunication, but talking and
listening and reacting, givingyourself a moment to respond
rather than react is somethingthat I really worked on,
especially over the last fewyears, and I'm happy to say that
I'm not in that place anymore.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Yeah, you know it's,
it's, it's such a simple term
and it's kind of dopey, but butyou know, I always, I always say
you attract more bees withhoney than vinegar and and and
yeah to to be sour, to be bitter, be angry.
You're not attracting anyone,you know, but I'll bet you're a
(30:32):
great mom, aren't you?
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I try, I try.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
It's okay, listen,
it's okay to boast.
Okay, I don't want to say no,no, because that's not right.
To boast and be braggadociousis not great, but it's okay to
admit if you're a great parent.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It really is.
I, without a doubt, do my verybest.
I cannot, and I love her withall my heart, and so I always
tell other moms that if you lovewith all your heart and you try
your best, that you're a goodmom.
So, yes, I am a good mom.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
And that's with
anything, if the effort.
I always tell my kids in Sundayschool I said look, I'm really
old kids.
I said when I was in school,when I was your age, we got two
grades.
We got our letter grade persubject and then we got our
citizenship grade, which eitherwas an S for satisfactory, an O
(31:27):
for outstanding, or it was a Ufor unsatisfactory.
You know, I said so.
That's where you need to look.
Is your effort Okay, always,you know, always.
Strive for the best effort.
You know when you're trying,when you're trying your best,
that's you know.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
And that's what I
tell my daughter, because
growing up I was very much.
My mother wanted me to beperfect.
I needed to get perfect grades.
She would whip up my as youngas two.
She was drilling me with mynumbers.
I had to know numbers one, twoand three and they would go up
telling it like it was funny.
But she would literally likestart screaming and freaking out
if I was like an 18 month oldchild and didn't know my numbers
(32:06):
.
Um, so she just I wouldrehearse.
I would be five years old andrehearsing things.
She'd rip up my homework andhave me redo it over and over.
So I grew up very much aperfectionist, very much a
perfectionist, and I my and Isaid to my daughter I say to her
I don't want you to be.
(32:28):
There's no such thing as perfect.
You're not perfect.
No one's perfect.
Do your best.
I don't care what your grade is.
If you tried your best, you putin everything you had into it.
I'm going to be so proud of you, no matter what you get, as
long as I know you're tryingyour best, because that's what
it is in life.
We can't, we're not going to begreat at everything.
Just we have to try, we have totry, we have to learn from our
(32:49):
mistakes.
We have to strive to do better,and that's it.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I just said this to
the guest I had on last week.
You know, there's a line that Icoached baseball for many, many
, many years and one of my goodfriends, who also coached
alongside with me, would tellthe kids and this is stuck since
I don't know, this has stuckwith me for the last, I don't
(33:15):
know, 35 years or so.
You never know what you can dounless you try.
And it rings true for anythingand everything.
And it's all about the effort,because if you're making making
the effort, then well, let me,let me, let me change that.
If you're not putting forth theeffort, all you're full of is
(33:36):
excuses whenever you fail, andand that's all you're looking to
are the excuses as to why itdidn't happen.
But when you are putting forthyour best effort in anything, if
you fail, it's okay, youunderstand it.
You just pick yourself rightback up, you dust yourself off
and you get after it again.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
That's right, that's
right.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
And and you know, and
that's the one thing about
about being a parent is you'renever going to get it right 100%
of the time, but that doesn'tmean you can't be great at it.
It's recognizing when you slipup, which is very, very hard to
(34:20):
do at times and I think I gotbetter as I got older but it's
very hard to do because nobodywants to admit when they're
wrong.
That's one of the hardestthings to do is admit when
you're wrong at something, andespecially when you're the
parent and they're a child, youknow.
(34:41):
The parent's always supposed tobe right.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Right.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
And sometimes you're
right.
Just because you're a parent,I'll say it I'm the parent.
You do it because you're aparent.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I'll say it I'm the
parent.
You do it because you're theparent.
It doesn't matter if I'm doingthe opposite.
You have to do it because I'mthe parent.
That's right, and that's one ofthe biggest things I grew up,
where I never heard I'm sorry.
It was always she did it, itwas my fault, I did it.
It was my fault.
It it was always she did it, itwas my fault, I did it, it was
my fault, it was fine.
So, growing up, one of thebiggest things I do with my
(35:11):
daughter is and you do have toeat a big slice of humble pie is
you do have to be able to, whenyou do something wrong, like
I'm sorry that I did this, Imade a mistake, and it's like.
You know.
What I learned from that isthat it's teaching, giving them
the tools to own up to theirmistakes and to learn that it's
okay.
We're human, we're imperfectcreatures.
We're all going to makemistakes, we're all going to
(35:33):
have flaws.
Owning up to it, apologizing andnot just apologizing, but
learning from it and trying todo better and grow from it.
That's the takeaway from it.
And if you can take somethingwhere you made a mistake and
learn from it and do better,then that's a success.
And if you can take somethingwhere you made a mistake and
learn from it and do better,then that's a success.
And so I really try to do thatwith my daughter, when I say the
(35:54):
wrong thing and I do the wrongthing about 5,000 times a day
and I go over to her and I sayI'm really sorry that I handled
it this way.
Can we try again?
And just trying to teach herthat it's okay, there's no
reason to feel shame with makingmistakes.
We all make mistakes, it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
It's hard enough.
It's hard enough to do that inan adult relationship.
And then imagine having to dothat with your kids.
It's hard.
It's hard and and and andhumble pies.
It's hard, and and and andhumble pie is nasty.
Um, you know, I pulled.
(36:35):
I pulled a.
Um.
I printed off a copy of a poemthat you had on your website.
Um, it's called holding on andum.
Do you feel comfortable readingit or would you like me to read
it?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
I can actually read
it.
I knew what page it was in mybook.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I'm not trying to put
any pressure on you or anything
.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
No, no, no, no, no.
I have no problem reading it.
So my book, it's so funny.
When I had my book, I said Iwanted a table of contents and
they said, oh, that's going tobe.
There's so funny.
When I had my book, I said Iwanted a table of contents and
they said oh, that's going to be.
There's so many poems in there,there's like 200 poems that
you're just crazy, wow.
So the problem with that,though, is that when I'm asked
to read a poem, I don't knowwhat page it's on.
(37:24):
Oh bear with me Well see?
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yeah, Well, I, I have
my.
I have my iPad open up here onthe table too, so I'm open to
your website.
I printed it off so that it wasnice and large, so I could see
it even with my glasses on.
You know that kind of thing.
But while you're, while you'retrying to find, oh you did, Okay
, All right, Okay, I want you to.
(37:50):
And look, I'm sorry, I didn'tmean to, I didn't mean to to, to
, to just hit you with this,because I would have been more
more than comfortable reading it.
But you wrote it, it's your,these are your words and and
this is your expression too.
And then I kind of want to tryto give you my um, kind of give
you my thoughts on, or I shouldsay, cause I read it and I
(38:11):
thought when I first startedreading it, I saw it from one
perspective.
And then when I finished, or asI got further probably about
80% through, I was like oh no,no, no, no, no, this is from.
This is a different perspective.
Okay, so anyway.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Okay, I know I have
to let you go as you get older,
but I'm focusing on holding on.
Holding on to being yourbiggest fan and cheerleader.
Holding on to the warmth ofyour smile and the sound of your
laughter.
Holding on to feeling so deeply, no matter your age.
Holding on to how grateful I amto be your mom.
Holding on to the twinkle inyour eyes when I tell you that I
(38:49):
love you.
Holding on to the promise thatI will always offer you guidance
, advice and support.
Holding on to carrying you inmy heart wherever you may go.
Holding on to the beauty of thepast, the gift of the present
and the joy of the future.
Holding on to the feeling ofyour head gently resting on my
shoulder.
Holding on to the unconditionallove between a mother and a
(39:09):
child.
Holding on to the privilege ofraising an amazing person.
Holding on to the reality thatletting you go doesn't mean that
I can't hold on to all of thesethings.
So I can let go, but no, I willalways be there holding on.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I think those are
great words and I think, when I
saw the first, I think those aregreat words.
And I think when I saw thefirst, I'll tell you what when I
, when I read the first, when Iread the first two lines I know
I have to let go as you getolder, but I'm focusing on
(39:47):
holding on I I thought that wasan, a daughter speaking to her
mother, and, and, and coming,certainly especially coming from
where you have come from, and Isaw that and I thought, okay,
this sounds like it could belike you know, older, her later
(40:08):
years, maybe even her last fewdays, or something like that,
you know, and I thought, wow,this is about forgiveness, and
and then and then, you know, asI, as I started to to read on
further, um, then I realized, no, this, this is a mother
speaking to her daughter, andnot only speaking to her, but it
(40:31):
could be just an infant or ateenager, it fits everything.
And I think they're great words, they're beautiful words.
So, yeah, no, thank you forsharing that.
That's great.
(40:51):
And you touched on your book, sotalk about your book.
Oh so we were supposed to do ita little bit earlier and then
hit it again.
Whatever we're gonna do, we'llhit it again, but talk about it
right now.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
So the name of the
book is From the Heart of a
Mother.
Excuse the tabs on the book.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
No, no, just hold it
up to the camera so we can see
it really well.
Yeah, it's called From theHeart of a Mother.
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
So, yes, it's poetry
and words of inspiration for all
stages of motherhood.
So, as I mentioned, my daughteris 12.
And I wanted to.
There are a lot of books outthere about early motherhood and
early childhood and mydaughter's 12.
And I wanted to write a bookthat kind of touched upon all
stages, because I remembervividly her being a newborn, I
(41:33):
remember her vividly being atoddler, I remember vividly her
first day of school and nowshe's 12.
And some things never change thelove never changes, the effort
never changes, the bond neverchanges, the need never changes.
There's so many constantsthroughout motherhood and I
wanted to express that.
I wanted a book that a new momcould open up and say oh, I find
I see myself here.
(41:54):
I wanted a book where a momwith a 14 year old child could
open up the book and say I seemyself here.
I wanted a book where agrandmother could open it up and
say I see myself here.
And so I have three sections ofthe book.
The first section is for early,the early days of motherhood,
talking about the loneliness.
I also wanted to talk about thehighs and lows, not just paint
(42:16):
a rosy, beautiful picture thatmotherhood is sunshine and
rainbows, because motherhood iswonderful and amazing, but it is
hard, it is hard.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
It's a full-time job.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Full-time job and a
half, and I wanted a book that
spoke.
When I first became a mother, Iwas a mess.
I was a mess.
I didn't have my own mother tocome to for help and I didn't
know what I was doing.
I felt like I was failing.
I was lonely and I remembercalling up my father-in-law like
(42:49):
in a panic, like hystericallycrying.
My husband had to go back towork one week after I had my
daughter and I was just like amess, hysterically crying.
And he said to me you know,these feelings are normal.
Like your mother-in-law wentthrough this too and like a
light bulb went off.
You mean, this is normal.
Like I'm not like the worstmother in the world for not
knowing what I'm doing and justlike wanting to go in a corner
(43:11):
and cry and just like I don'tknow what to do.
And I don't.
I feel like I'm doingeverything wrong.
And so I wanted a book that notonly talked about the beauty of
motherhood, but the difficultyof motherhood, the loneliness,
guilt, the worry, all of thehighs and the lows that
encompass motherhood.
And so the second section ofthe book is all about trials and
(43:32):
tribulations.
And then the third section isabout for mothers of older kids
and I really I just put my heartand soul into it and I really
wanted mothers everywhere tofeel seen and understood, no
matter where they are in theirjourney everywhere to feel seen
and understood, no matter wherethey are in their journey.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
So it so, rather than
trying to, rather than trying
to write, what would more belike a, an advice book, or I
don't want to say a self-helpbook, but in that, in that vein,
yes, you want to take thatapproach through poetry instead?
(44:13):
Yes, okay, and and speak toyour experiences and what
another mother will or could orshould experience through poetry
.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yes, I mean, and I
say this right at the beginning
If you're looking for a how-tomanual, you're looking at the
wrong book.
Like I don't have all theanswers.
I am as clueless as the rest ofyou.
We all.
Every day is the first dayraising a child of this age, so
I can.
Every time I'm like raising achild of this age, so I can.
Every time I'm like, okay, Ifigured it out, like I know what
I'm doing, I'm in the groove, Ifigured out what's going on,
(44:49):
and then she does somethingdifferent and she's in a new
season of it and I don't knowwhat I'm doing and I'm starting
all over again.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Let me ask you, let
me ask you a question, Randy
when does your daughter, when'sher birthday?
Speaker 2 (44:59):
Her birthday is
August 3rd and she'll be 13.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
She's a Leo.
Yes, that's my girl.
I'm going to tell you what,right now.
You better enjoy the nextcouple of months, because once
she turns 13, forget about it,man she's going to know
everything and you're going toknow nothing.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
She's been like that
since she was six years old.
I mean, that's what it is today.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
I don't know what it
is.
13 is the magic number.
It's going to get worse, ohgosh, oh no, yeah, it'll carry
on until probably graduation dayof high school, you know, and
then.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
The hormones and
everything like those started
kicking in when she was 10.
And I was like wait, what isgoing on here?
You're 10.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Like, I don't
understand.
So yeah, it's, it's those LeosLike they give you a run for
your money Right and she's a Leo, so that that, like that,
doubles up on everything, Causeyou know we're let me see we're
unfortunately, we're prideful,we're boisterous, let's see we
(46:07):
are, we're know-it-alls and Idon't know.
It's all about us too.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
So, yep, yep, all of
the above.
She is strong-willed, she keepsme on my toes.
She's aged me 20 years, but Ilove her to death.
It was never a dull moment withher.
And, yes, she is something, andI mean that in the best way
possible.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Well, okay, so she's
12 now.
I think I already know theanswer to this, but I'll ask it
anyway.
Are there any thoughts of morekids?
One's enough, but.
But you know what Kids are?
Just the kids are the best,though.
They really are.
They really are, and no matterwhat, no matter how much they
(46:56):
get in your, in your hair, nomatter how much trouble they
cause, no matter how many messesthey make and never clean up
all that stuff, kids are stillthe best.
They bring us so much joy asparents.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Me too, and for me
especially.
She healed the parts of me thatI could have gone to all the
therapists in the world, and Idid go to there.
There's something about raisinga child that just cracks you
open and then just brings youback together again and puts the
pieces together in a just amore beautiful way than they had
been before.
It's just she.
(47:32):
She held up a mirror to theparts of me that needed fixing
and allowed me to truly see themand work on them and come out
the other side better than I hadbeen before.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
And none of that
would have happened if it wasn't
for her?
Speaker 2 (47:45):
I think it's 100%.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
But you recognized it
, though, and some people,
unfortunately, whether it'smothers or fathers, because that
scenario is there for all of us, absolutely, it's there for all
of us, absolutely, it's therefor all of us.
It's whether it's that wholething.
Are you, are you?
Do you see the signs?
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
You know that kind of
thing, you have to recognize it
and you have to understand.
You have to understand that.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Understand that, and
then you have to also understand
your responsibility once youbring a child into this world.
Yes, it is such an enormousresponsibility.
It is something that I take soincredibly seriously.
That, and what hurts me themost, though, is when I'll get,
when I'll see feedback frompeople who, they were abused and
they'll say, well, I'm scaredto have a child because I was
abused, and that just makes myheart so sad, because, like we
talked about and we've talkedabout, that is not, does not
(48:49):
mean in any shape or form, thatyou cannot be a wonderful,
remarkable, amazing parent.
Like you can do everythingdifferently than what was done
to you.
You have two choices you cancontinue or you can stop and
change it.
And that's entirely up to you.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
And that's for
anything.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
I mean even kids who
weren't abused.
You have parents no, parentsare perfect and you see things
that you grow up and you're like, well, I don't really like the
way they did, that I'm going tonot do things differently.
You have that choice and so it.
Just when I see that, I kind ofwant to shake my computer and
say no, no, no, you could.
That's not the reason, it's not, it doesn't have to be it
(49:26):
doesn't know.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
You're absolutely
right, because life in itself,
life is a series of decisions.
It's it's all one road, and and, and.
We get to a fork in the roadand we can go this way or we can
go this way, and we know theroute we should take.
But do we take it and and it?
(49:50):
And I, I, I told, I told mykids, I told, I told them all
multiple times, but I startedwhen they were probably in their
teen years and I said everydecision you make in your life,
moving forward, will have aneffect on your life at some
point.
It may not be tomorrow, nextweek, next month, even next year
, but at some point the decisionyou make on this here will come
(50:14):
back on you.
It's going to be positive ornegative.
One way or the other.
You have to decide, and that'swhat life is and that's what,
that's what, what, what, what,um.
You know, deciding to bringchildren into the world is all
about being a parent.
It's all decisions.
Look, it's not a bad thing tobring kids into the world, no
(50:36):
matter what kind of backgroundwe have.
That's why men and women wereput on earth and that's to
procreate.
You know, and and um, you, yeah, you can't be afraid of that.
And for somebody in yourposition, I, I, I understand you
.
Just you kind of want to, afteryou're done shaking your
(50:57):
computer, you kind of want tojust throw your arms around him.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
I do, I do.
It breaks my heart.
It really, it truly does.
And that's like when I said Ispoke to that guy, I spent like
an hour, that guy who reachedout to me about his childhood,
like just talking to him and Ijust I want to hug them all.
I want to hug them all, I wantto talk to them all.
I want to hug them all, I wantto talk to them all.
(51:32):
I want to, and that's why Iwrite.
That is, at the end of the day,why I write, why I share my
story, why I started my Facebookpage, which I never, ever
someone feel a little bit moreunderstood, and so that's that's
why I do what I do, in hopes ofmaybe making someone else's
pain a little bit moremanageable.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
When, when you were
growing up or even before, you
decided to, to, to, to take this, um, to take this route with
your excuse me with your blogand your book and all that did
you find yourself to be more ofan introverted person yes, okay,
yes, when I was little, when Iwas very, very little, like the
(52:08):
first three years of my lifebefore, um, my sister was born I
was very much an extrovert.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
I would hear stories
that I would go over to all the
kids.
I was just like, very hi, I'mhere, um, as I think, just
because of my childhood and thethings that happened to me, I
just became more and more of anintrovert.
And so, putting myself outthere, putting myself in the
public eye, so to speak, andwriting publicly and putting out
my story publicly and doing allthese things, it's that goes
(52:36):
against my nature, it goesagainst my nature to do these
things.
It's, it's that goes against mynature.
It goes against my nature to dothese things.
But, like you said, we striveto do better, we strive to push
ourselves and to grow as people.
And and if, if I can takesomething horrific that happens
and make something good comefrom it, then why would I not do
that?
Speaker 1 (52:56):
And I think that's
just as people in general.
That's what we're supposed todo is to try to always turn a
negative into a positive,absolutely.
Yeah, excuse me, yeah, homeenvironment that that both you
(53:24):
and I experienced would tend tomake you more closed off.
Because if you, you don't wantto open yourself up too much,
because you're inviting peoplein into your world and now they
see what really goes on and andthat brings, you know, that can
bring about a lot ofembarrassment or shame and that
type of thing, and so it's justbetter to just to, to keep your
(53:45):
walls up and kind of you know,close them off, close people off
a little bit.
But, um, you know, yeah, as weget older, as we mature, we
understand that's not the bestroute to take.
It's always good to have, um,it's always good to have people
in your life, especially goodpeople, people that bring
something to the table as far asyou are concerned and things
(54:12):
that are going on with you.
The book is available where.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
It's available
everywhere online.
It's on Amazon, barnes, noble,indigo, target, walmart, on my
website, survivingmomblogcom.
You can go on there and there'sdifferent ways to purchase it.
I'm also having a special salenow for Mother's Day where I
have a bunch of copies that Ican personalize.
(54:37):
I can write a note to someonein it.
There's a special someone thatthey like the book to be made
out to with a little message.
I can do that.
So yeah, it's availableeverywhere.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
Yeah, I'm looking at
the cover of it right here.
You know, from the heart of amother.
It's on Randy's website, whichis survivingmomblogcom, and then
, as Randy just said, it'savailable wherever else you can
get your books Amazon, that'slike the biggest bookstore out
there, so you know.
So, yeah, if poetry, if theadventure, the trials and
(55:17):
tribulations of motherhood, uhare, are something that you're
going through and and you wantto experience that through
poetry, instead of some somebodytelling you, well, do this and
don't do that, Um then this isprobably the right way for you
to go.
This is probably the book foryou.
Tell me, Randy, what is RandyLatzman outside of surviving
(55:46):
moms?
What does she do?
Tell us a little bit about yourpersonal life.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
Oh, wow, okay.
Well, I'm an avid reader.
When I have the time, which isfew and far between, I love
reading.
I love, love, love reading.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
I do too, and I just
don't have.
I mean, I work like 13 to 14hours a day, really.
Honestly, I had to get up earlyto try and do some prep work
for this, because I haven't hadany time at all since you and I
spoke last week.
It's just-.
Speaker 2 (56:14):
What time?
What's the time?
Yeah, what is that I?
Speaker 1 (56:17):
know, but I do.
I love to read and I have notime.
I have my bookshelves over herein the studio and it's full of
I don't know.
I can't even count how manybooks are on it, but I've
probably only read about half ofthem and that's only because I
did those ones like 15, 20 yearsago, right right, you remember
(56:42):
back when you read them.
Speaker 2 (56:44):
Yes, it's the same
thing, so-.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
I'm sorry, go ahead,
go ahead, I know.
Speaker 2 (56:48):
I love reading, I
love writing Like just, I've
always loved writing, so I lovedoing that.
I love watching TV with myhusband in the evenings, after
my daughter's asleep, we justlay on the couch and watch
ridiculous tv shows that arejust easy to follow, and just,
we do that.
Um, I'm a junk food addict, Iwill admit it.
(57:09):
I love anything, any food.
I love chocolate, I love icecream, I love chips, all that
stuff oh, I love it yes, and so,yeah, you'll basically find me
running around chasing after mydaughter.
Yeah, uh, we had two cats and adog, so probably cleaning up
after my animals, watchingreality tv with my husband or
(57:30):
writing is basically what I'mdoing um.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
What kind of dog do
you have?
Speaker 2 (57:36):
she's a mixed breed.
She's a rescue, okay.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
Okay, that's all
right, but do you have any idea
what, what breed, she is?
Speaker 2 (57:43):
We've got different
answers.
We think she might be part chowand part people, but we're not
a hundred percent sure.
She's a very sweet dog, butshe's a big dog and she doesn't
recognize how large she is.
So when we brought her home forthe first time, she like ran up
the stairs and like tried tojump on me to hug me and nearly
threw me down the stairs.
So yeah, she's.
She's a large dog, but she's asweetie.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
Well, I'm a dog guy.
Catherine and I, we have a catand but, but.
But I'm a dog guy.
I've had dogs my entire adultlife.
I I'm I'm going on a littleover two years right now without
a dog.
It's the longest period of timein you know in adulthood that I
(58:25):
haven't had a dog, and I lovedogs and I love big dogs.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
She's a dog she is,
she's a sweetheart.
So our cats will literally goon the dog bed and just lay on
the dog bed with her and all,and she just wants her dog bed
Like it's hers.
Let her have her little dog bedand they'll just go yeah.
She is such a well-behaved.
I mean she barks, but she's adog, dogs bark, of course.
The thing is that my daughter,you know, we'll go over and like
(58:53):
hug her and we'll be like roughwith her and the dog just like
loves her and takes care of herand is protective over her, and
it's just it's very sweet, it'svery.
Speaker 1 (59:04):
dogs are the absolute
best.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
They are the best.
Speaker 1 (59:08):
I, I, I have said for
many, many years dogs are God's
best work.
But um, what?
Oh, oh, oh.
You talked about watchingtelevision.
You know, Catherine and I, welike to watch a lot of
television when we can.
Usually I'm falling asleep to,because our shows are like our
(59:34):
go-to shows and they're old ones.
I don't watch anything.
I really honestly don't watchanything new, unless it's like a
, a short series on one of thestreaming services or whatever.
But but my go-to's are, likeeverybody loves, raymond and and
king of queens, those are greatoh they're, they're absolutely
fabulous.
You know uh, joes and I, I justintroduced catherine, um, uh, a
(59:59):
short while ago, to the Middle.
I never watched that oh it'sdynamite, it really is, it's
just so good, it's so good andyou know.
So it's like those three showsor we'll sprinkle in, we'll
sprinkle in, I don't know.
I just like shows, like, Iguess, about couples.
You know that kind of thing.
(01:00:19):
Married people don't know, Ijust like shows, like, I guess,
about couples, you know thatkind of thing.
You know.
Married people, you know, wewere watching rules of
engagement for a while, uh,until amazon prime started
charging for it again.
But uh, you know, we werewatching that um and uh, you
know, we'll, like I said, we'llsprinkle in a little two and a
half men from time to time too,but uh, I don't know, but it's
(01:00:40):
light-hearted.
Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
It's something that
you guys can sit on the couch
and if you fall asleep for alittle bit, that's okay.
You can wake up and pick upwhere you left off that's right,
that's right.
Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
You know silly stuff,
but I love, I love the couple
stuff.
You know everybody lovesraymond, king of queens, and
even the middle.
I love to watch the dynamicbetween the you know the married
couple, and so it's just, it's,it's good stuff, it's good
stuff, but anyway, again,survive.
(01:01:08):
Wait, let me put my glasses on,cause I'm going to get this
pitch right.
Surviving mom blogcom, that'sthe website and then the book.
Hold on, hold on, I'm going toget it here.
I got to open this back up thebook.
Let me see where to go.
The book is From the Heart of aMother and it's available on
(01:01:29):
the website, on Randy's website,which again is
survivingmomblogcom, or atAmazon.
So you take your pick, but goout and get it and, like Randy
said, if you buy it, at least onthe website, I know you do have
a special going on.
I did see that.
Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
Go to
survivingmomblogcom slash shop.
They can get a signed copy ofit.
Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
Ah, a signed copy,
and I think it's like five or
six bucks off too.
Cheaper and I will personalizeit, so I will write a little
note in there to the specialsomeone, for yeah, Ah there you
go, there you go, so you getsome bonus stuff going on too,
that's beautiful Randy.
I can't thank you enough forthis.
(01:02:15):
This is good.
Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
It's good to meet you
and it's good to talk to you.
It was wonderful talking to you.
Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
I feel like it was
therapeutic.
I loved it.
Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
I love talking with
you.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
I really do, or, as
Barney Fife would say,
therapeutic.
You know, sorry, that's waybefore your time.
No, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
Thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
Yeah, I'm going to
close up, but stick around for
me for a couple minutes.
Okay, appreciate it.
All right, everybody, that's awrap.
And, as you know, this programis available wherever you get
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(01:02:58):
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(01:03:19):
Gosh, I can't believe.
I said that.
All right, so we're done.
Thanks for your time.
Thanks for being here.
This is the Ben Maynard Program.
Tell a friend.