TBC Member Spotlight: Ryan Selimos

Ever wondered how a close-knit childhood and sports can shape your entire life? Join us as we sit down with our dear friend Ryan Selimos, who opens up about his formative years in South Florida. Growing up in a neighborhood where everyone knew each other, Ryan shares heartwarming memories of family gatherings and friendships that have lasted a lifetime. We reminisce about our childhood adventures, including the switch from flag to tackle football—a decision that brought both tension and triumph within our families.

High school is a pivotal time, and Ryan's journey was no exception. From transferring schools to finding his footing on the football field, Ryan reflects on the highs and lows that defined his teenage years. We discuss the challenges of social adaptability and the lasting impact of parental support. Through personal anecdotes, we explore the missed opportunities and enduring friendships that have influenced our paths and shaped the people we have become.

Ryan's story doesn't end with high school. Moving to Stetson University was a whole new ballgame. We delve into the culture shocks, the homesickness, and the powerful bonds formed with teammates and fraternity brothers. Ryan's experiences underscore the importance of shared moments and mutual investment in maintaining friendships. From college rites of passage to professional mentorship, this episode is a testament to the transformative power of relationships and the enduring support of a tight-knit friend group. Tune in to be inspired and perhaps find a bit of your own story in Ryan's journey.

Episode Transcript

Kenny Massa (00:09):
Welcome to the Bender Continues podcast.
Today we have a very specialtreat for you.
Joining us is not only our dearfriend and ex-teammate, but
also an integral part of ourpodcast family the one and only
Ryan Salimos.

James LaGamma (00:24):
We're about to embark on a journey steering our
conversation towards a topicthat touches every fabric of our
lives, and that's relationships.
Ryan's going to be our guidethrough this exploration.
From the gridiron of childhoodto becoming a valued manager
within the financial industry,he's traversed the intricate
landscape of relationships andwill provide his personal

(00:46):
evolution in building lastingconnections.

Jonny Strahl (00:51):
We have the privilege of diving into the
mind behind the microphone,sitting down with Ryan for a
candid conversation.
Whether it's the bond offriendship, camaraderie,
teammate or love or family, ryanSalimos embodies the essence of
sustaining meaningfulrelationships.
So sit back, relax and prepareto be inspired as we uncover the

(01:15):
lessons learned and the truechallenges overcoming in the
moments that have shaped Ryan,which ultimately creates a case
for building relationships.

Ryan Selimos (01:25):
I know you meant pray to be inspired.
I'm praying too.

Jonny Strahl (01:27):
Don't worry.

Ryan Selimos (01:28):
And traverse.
Come on, guys.

Jonny Strahl (01:31):
Yeah, come on, this is way too.

Ryan Selimos (01:33):
People won't talk about me in this nice official,
proper fashion.
All right, Geez.

James LaGamma (01:38):
Yeah, sometimes a squirrel, you know, can find a
nut.
There we go baby Blind squirrel.
Blind squirrel, you know, couldfind a baby.
Blind squirrel, blind squirrel.
Sorry, I botched it, but hey,it's okay, it's good, the hell
you guys want to know all right.

Kenny Massa (01:50):
Well, let's, let's start from the early age, let's
start from the beginning, sothat everyone can understand the
path to who you are today.
So let's, if we look back atthe childhood phase, can you
tell us a little bit more aboutyour family life growing up,
maybe cousins or people thatsurrounded you like friends in
the neighborhood and what thatwas like?

Ryan Selimos (02:10):
Yeah, for starters , childhood was crap in my pants
, just like the rest of y'all,so get that clear.

James LaGamma (02:15):
No, but we didn't say infancy, right.

Ryan Selimos (02:20):
My parents, gus Salimos, michelle Salimos and
the great Matt Salimos, so theSalimos family.
I was really really luckygrowing up because I actually
had my extended family both onmy mom and my dad's side, within
30 minutes, so two uncles on mydad's side and then four in
total aunts and uncles on mymom's side.
So whether it was birthdayscelebrations, yeah, you know.

(02:42):
So whether it was birthdayscelebrations, yeah, you know
everyone that, meaning that Iguess whatever I can't
articulate Just the opportunityto show up for those special
moments from an early age.
You know, I had thatopportunity.
I got to see that From kids inthe neighborhood standpoint.
Funny enough, I didn't reallyhave the type of neighborhood
where you know all the kids arewe've talked about in previous

(03:06):
episodes going out to playbackyard football.
I didn't really have the typeof neighborhood where all the
kids are We've talked about inprevious episodes going out to
play backyard football.
I didn't have that group rightthere, I kind of outsourced it
and you all got to meet mychildhood best friend, fabian
Moreau.
His neighborhood was reallythat setting.
There was a park, five-minutewalk.
So whether it was football,basketball, even baseball, even
hockey, we'd go over there,spend entire days, weekends,

(03:28):
just having that experience.
So, while it wasn't direct forme, definitely got to live it
out and that's truly one way webecame close and I've known him
since preschool.

James LaGamma (03:38):
Preschool, preschool Still in touch with
him today.

Ryan Selimos (03:41):
Still in touch with him, not as much, not as
frequent, but again for thosespecial moments.
He was a groomsman at mywedding, so we still have that
bond, him and Tanner Moeller,the two people Tanner's a funny
one because we kind of Iwouldn't expect that We've been
friends since he had preschool,because we went to school
together.

Kenny Massa (03:58):
Well, you stayed in one place or you lived in
multiple places.

Ryan Selimos (04:02):
I moved once a whole seven streets over, so big
change really.
Up until college, south Florida, in the same neighborhood the
entire time.
So again, kind of my familydidn't move around much.
So that whole upbringing aroundthe same people for middle, for
priest, not preschool, butelementary school, middle school

(04:23):
, it was K through eight, so weeven grew up with the same
people in that regard, until Igot to high school you start to
branch out Now.
I did play sports just likey'all, so that was more my
opportunity to meet new peoplewith different backgrounds,
different perspectives.

Kenny Massa (04:38):
Grew up differently as well.
Yeah, of course.

James LaGamma (04:42):
And was the same for your family too.
You said you had uncles, aunts,and and was the same for your
family too, like that you said.
You said you had uncles, auntsand everybody was still living
kind of close around.
You did that kind of stay formajority of your childhood and
keep kind of going.
Or did family start to maybehave opportunities and move away
and whatnot?

Ryan Selimos (04:57):
but I'd say, up until I was probably mid late
20s, an uncle, uh, who moved upto Montana, um, and one uncle is
just not around as much, butfor the most part everyone else
is still in South Florida.
I think now, especially that Imoved away, matt's been a little
back and forth.
We're starting to see people gooff on their own, but for the
longest time they all we wereall in, uh, south Florida.

(05:21):
I mean, two of my aunts anduncles actually lived in the
house.

James LaGamma (05:24):
they grew up when , at different points, um, so
really yeah and I'm assuming youguys holidays and and just
celebrations and and milestonesthat happen.
You guys are always celebratingtogether, bringing in other, uh
, friends that probably theother families had, and you see,
it was just a big group and youjust had a lot of people around

(05:44):
you kind of growing up.

Ryan Selimos (05:45):
Yeah, and until um , really until my aunt and uncle
on my dad's side divorced, Imean, it was my entire, my mom's
entire family would come overfor those events, dad's entire
family, Like there was, true, amix of that, and you don't
always see that um in the familyand from a family standpoint.
So we had that opportunity fora little bit as well.
Um, and I think that's what'sled me to be real close with my

(06:07):
cousins.
But now, kind of, I've got twocousins Um, one's out in
Colorado, the other one's goingto.
His brother is going tograduate from UF, go Gators for
Johnny Um, and he's probablygoing to follow him.
Um, and, and then you got meand Matt.
So I was really one of thefirst ones who started to branch
out of the South Florida area.
For my family Were you theoldest, yeah, Now the only

(06:30):
outside my dad, born and raisedin Toronto, so he moved down in
his 20s, but then really for ourentire childhood until I went
to college, there wasn't muchmovement.

James LaGamma (06:46):
Makes sense.

Ryan Selimos (06:48):
You mentioned sports.
What sports did you play whenyou're a kid?
Like we?
Played everything, just likey'all.
I mean soccer, baseball, flagfootball, basketball, hockey,
tackle football.
I tried it all, did it all.
Um, I think sometimes I wouldcall myself jack of all trades,
master of none, because you know, you just don't I got older
find the time or dedicate thetime to commit to just one and
really zero in.
Now it got less as I got older,but you got to find what you

(07:12):
like.
I loved hockey for the longesttime.
Only reason I stopped playinghockey is because it was during
tackle football season.

James LaGamma (07:19):
Roller or ice Ice .
Ice time is hard to get to,yeah, especially in Floridaida,
yeah not as much up north butdown here I've found it is um,
from the sports side, teamaspect, did you, did you usually
play a lot of the same sportswith the same people and have

(07:40):
like kind of same teammatesgrowing up?
Were the different people thatbecause they, their parents,
brought them into these sports?

Ryan Selimos (07:46):
Yeah, I would say, as I got probably started to
get into middle school I meanbefore that it was all rec
leagues and stuff.
It doesn't really matter, yousee different people.
But I would say in middleschool, yes, because from a
tackle football standpoint, youguys playing peewees, those
teams, you might move up andwait classes, but it's for a
city, you represent a city, sothe people you're playing with,

(08:06):
your teammates, are going to bethe same.
And then for travel baseballtoo, I would say fifth through
eighth grade for those twosports specifically.

James LaGamma (08:21):
It was basically the same or similar teammates.
You know maybe a couple ofchanges here and there that I
got to grow up with On thesports teams did you have a lot
of different parent coaches.

Ryan Selimos (08:28):
Did your parents coach?
Gus Salimos was always a coach,never a head coach, never
wanted to be responsible for,make for the parents and the big
decisions, but he always wantedto be a part of it.
Um, so yeah, he's been coachingme and my brother since we can
remember.
Um, you know, one thing for himis his dad, who my grandfather
great, great guy, but justwasn't as into sports.
So my dad grew up a lot, youknow, looking to the stands and

(08:51):
not having that representation,and that was one thing he always
told me was, you know he wasgoing to make, he was going to
be there for every moment,whether it was as a fan or as a
coach, and he was for me and formatt that's cool.

James LaGamma (09:05):
You can't say that a lot yeah um, I, I
empathize with you a lot onhaving a lot of family around.
That was kind of how I grew uptoo.
Yeah, um, and so it's.
It's unique.
You don't hear that a lot.
I've seen a lot of familiesthat there there could be
bickering between sure, you know, and I don't know if I don't
know if you ever saw fightsmaybe you did yeah, the parents,

(09:28):
oh my, the uncles and aunts.
That yeah, okay, sure bro yes,did it ever escalate to a point
of no return?

Ryan Selimos (09:35):
oh yeah 100.

Jonny Strahl (09:37):
Parents are worse than the kids half the time you
know yeah yeah and we talked.

Ryan Selimos (09:42):
I mean, we might get into this a little bit later
, but I think there's's a sayingout there from a parent
standpoint and I'm not sayingthis happened with my
grandparents, but it's a commontheme I feel like in maybe
today's world is those that growup in divided households, when
they become adults, they try todo everything in their power to
stay together, whether it'shealthy for the family or not,
the family or not.
When those who grow up and seethose that really fought to stay

(10:04):
together when it wasn't thathealthy, then they're adults.
They do the exact opposite.
So, I just think that's aninteresting comparison.
Again, that's not directly thedynamics that I grew up in, but
I think a lot of people do facethat from a relationship, from a
family standpoint.
But yeah, we saw our fair shareof arguments.
I'm sure we again.
This is a topic you all did too, I know it.

Kenny Massa (10:28):
All right.
Well, just to shed light on adifferent topic area around your
childhood, that's going tohopefully push us towards
getting a little bit older now,but from a childhood perspective
let's think of, like pre-highschool, maybe middle school,
elementary school.
Do you have a fondest memorythat you can share with us?
Pre-high?

Ryan Selimos (10:46):
school, maybe middle school, elementary school
?
Do you have a fondest memorythat you can share with us?
Pre-high school?
Oh, you know, I would probablysay it's the time that me and my
again my friend Fabian spenttogether.
I mean, we've talked about onprevious episodes you're growing
up as a kid those playing videogames all night in the summer.

James LaGamma (11:03):
Oh yes.

Ryan Selimos (11:04):
Parents are in bed .
Like we would create NCAAdynasty.
We would each create a team, wewould schedule to play each
other at the end of the seasonand we would stay up all night
playing other teams just to playagainst each other at 7 in the
morning or whatever, like stupidstuff like that.
But we actually had theopportunity to play tackle
football together and in eighthgrade we won the state

(11:25):
championship together and heactually caught the game winning
touchdown and that's a memory Iwill I will never forget, just
in that moment, because, funnyenough we might get into this
with his story I actually my meand my family helped get him
into football.
His family was huge for soccerbut I mean, dude was, was quick
as lightning, super fast, andjust he wanted to play ball, but

(11:47):
his, his dad just wasn'tfamiliar with the game of
football, his parents weren't,so they needed some pushing,
some convincing so for him to beable to.
Finally we got to play together.
That was awesome.
We played two years togetherand, like I said, we won a
championship together.
And again, it's eighth grade.
What does that mean?
But the we we take away fromthat?

James LaGamma (12:04):
oh yeah, that's a talking point we have until you
know forever yeah I'm prettysure you kicked my ass that year
actually and he actually hadthe opportunity to go.

Ryan Selimos (12:12):
He played college at ucla, um.
You know he's in the nfl rightnow, so he's been able to live
out that dream and a littlepiece of it.
I've been able to live out thatdream and see it too, which is
it's awesome yeah, very cool, soyou started.

James LaGamma (12:27):
It's like seventh grade is what it sounds like
you said seven.

Ryan Selimos (12:29):
Seventh grade is when he finally was able to.
We were able to get him to playtackle nice, nice.

James LaGamma (12:35):
I mean we all played football here.
Did you guys also like startreally early?

Ryan Selimos (12:39):
I mean, it sounds like ryan you were, you were
starting pretty young I startedin fifth for tackle, but I
played flag up to that point.
My dad actually we were therefor sign up for flag one year
and we got convinced to playtackle.
We didn't tell my mom.
And that might have been one ofthose moments where there might
have been some fireworks in thehousehold because we left with
one, she had one interpretation.

(12:59):
When we left and we got home itwas not what she was expecting,
nor what she wanted.

James LaGamma (13:03):
So it only lasted one day you know I don't.

Ryan Selimos (13:14):
It might.
It might have lasted a littlebit, I don't remember.
I was super happy that day.
My pops maybe took a coupleshots for me.
Uh, as a result of that, butworth it for sure.

Kenny Massa (13:19):
That's funny oh, that's good, that's good stuff
yeah, I mean, I started youngtoo, I think we all probably.

James LaGamma (13:27):
Yeah, I was sixth grade, so I was kind of
probably closer to fabian.
I actually had a similar pathwhere I played soccer for the
whole time and then finallyfootball, but I didn't have the
problem that he had, where yourparents were able to step in and
that kind of shows the closerelationship that you built with
them, that where your parentswere able to say like, hey, yeah
, your son really wants to dothis sport right and and and he,
they impacted his life right,and that's kind of it's a

(13:50):
beautiful thing because I mean,look at where he's at now.
Yeah, right, it's, it's amazing.
But yeah, I mean, my dad, heplayed football growing up, so
that wasn't hard to transition.
Actually, he probably didn'tknow much about soccer so he
went and learned about it butnevertheless, um, that's cool
man, that's cool can you touchbase on on high school a little
bit?

Kenny Massa (14:09):
I I think that I think that, uh, you have some
unique experiences.
We've had a unique experiencebeing able to have more of an
insider input with that, becauseJames just has some insight
from that, from an outsider'sperspective, where we don't have
that as much on Johnny and I'sside.

(14:30):
But can you shed some light onwhat your high school experience
was like?

Ryan Selimos (14:35):
Because it is unique.
Yeah, so I went to St ThomasAquinas my freshman year.
But, as we've talked about, Ican be a prima donna Sometimes,
I can be selfish sometimes, andI didn't see a path to playing
until maybe senior year and Iwanted to get on the field now.
So I wound up transferring toArchbishop McCarthy, which was

(14:57):
the school I intended to stayfor the rest of my high school
career.
I actually went to freshman.
Freshman year, james and Iactually, you know, we played
together at freshman ball, so wetechnically knew each other, um
, which is a crazy in itself.
Uh, so I went to McCarthy,spent two years there, met a lot
of great people, um, but, forwhatever reason, you know, there

(15:18):
was a change in leadership atthe school.
Uh, they fired the footballcoach after we had made a run at
States which rubbed people thewrong way, and just there were
some.
The new administration didn'tview sports and view football as
highly as the previous one, andthen I had to make some tough
decisions on.
I couldn't afford to go thereanymore.
So, as a result, I did go tothree high schools in four years

(15:40):
, which is crazy, think about it.
And you schools in four years,which is crazy, think about it.
And you know I have some, someregrets from that on a couple of
different levels.
But I one thing I've noticed,you know, as I've gotten older
is through sports I've kind oftaken on a chameleon effect, and
what I mean by that is, youknow, it was very easy for me to

(16:01):
go to three different highschools in four years and find a
group to fit in with and hangout with, because I had sports
as that breakaway in.
I can touch on that later, butthat's been a takeaway as I look
back.
But some of the regret I haveis, again, I met a lot of great

(16:22):
people at McCarthy and they'reall friends to this day and I'm
the one that kind of steppedaway and it was probably it was
on me.
I'm the one who kind of droppedin communication and you know,
I see that and it's I'm superhappy for them that.
You know they have thatcloseness, but it's something I
missed out.
On Um, I also going back to theFabian story, right, he was

(16:47):
playing ball at a local highschool that I looked at and I
did not wind up going to, andhim and I and actually one of
our boys, dre Long, we're havinga conversation at my wedding
and I was kind of sharing.
You know, I would have loved togo have that opportunity to
play ball again with him.
And one of the things he saidthat I'll never forget is he
really wanted me to make thedecision to go so that he could

(17:08):
do for me what we did for him.
Because again he played at UCLA, his future was kind of already
set, mine was still unknown andhe wanted to help kind of
solidify a future in footballfor me, like how we in the
beginning gave him a future infootball.
So when I heard that that wasjust, I never thought of that,
of his thought process, of it.

(17:29):
So that one hit deep on a regretmaybe of why I didn't go play.
Maybe I should have, maybe Icould have.
Ultimately I went to NorthBroward Prep, did my final year
there.
But the flip side is, if Idon't go to North Broward Prep I
probably don't end up atStetson, I don't meet my wife, I
don't meet you guys.
We're not sitting here today,so it's hard to say you live

(17:49):
with regret, it's just lookingback.
You know, you never know.
But those are just some of thetakeaways from all that movement
, of how it could have pannedout and all three could have
been fantastic situations.
I stay at McCarthy, I stay downSouth, I stay at McCarthy, I
stay down south.
I stay with that close-knitgroup of friends.
That again, they're stilltogether to this day and we have
a little communication.
But it's tough for mepersonally it's probably more me

(18:11):
that again cuts that off.
You go the Fabian route and whoknows, and then you have the
Stetson route and here we are.

James LaGamma (18:19):
Yeah a lot to think about.

Ryan Selimos (18:21):
Yeah, a real lot to think about.
Yeah, a lot to think about,yeah.

Jonny Strahl (18:27):
A real lot to think about.
So, before we kind of get intoas you transition to college,
I'm curious what do you thinkthat defining moment or
reasoning behind why you didn'tkeep in touch, like what were
the things that?
Was there something necessarilygoing on in that moment?
Were there specific reasons, orwas it just pure hay?

Ryan Selimos (18:44):
No, because you know know, my senior year.
You think about it, right?
High school senior year is thatyear.
It's that highlight for all ofus, right?
So my senior year, they're allgoing through those highlight
moments together and I'm at adifferent school.
I'm finding my own path again,the chameleon fitting in, I'm
getting it done, I'm figuringout, I'm good.
But you know, I I tried to stillkind of sit on the fence of
both of still be with that groupand like I was at the school

(19:08):
but I wasn't, um, and it just itjust went a different way, for
whatever reason.
And again, there were a hundredpercent opportunities for me to
reinsert myself, or there wereopportunities for me to stay in
there, stay in the fold, and forwhatever reason, I just didn't
take advantage of it.
Text messages left unread,calls, you know, not made back.

(19:31):
Um, and even you know one ofthe there was this uh guy named
Robert Barreras and, uh, his mom, when we launched this podcast,
actually commented and andshared of you know the memories
we had.
And just again, it just goesback to the type of people and
the moments that we did get toshare and that's awesome, but
for whatever reason, it justdidn't work out and again it

(19:52):
stays with me.

James LaGamma (19:55):
Did your parents weigh in, like just kind of,
when they checked in and, asyou're going through this
process of changing, like didthey help prepare you for the
moves from high school to highschool?
I mean, what was the decisionmaking?
How did you guys go about?

Ryan Selimos (20:08):
Yeah, so the first one from St Thomas to McCarthy,
which, again, it was neversupposed to be three it was only
supposed to be two.

James LaGamma (20:17):
It was early.

Ryan Selimos (20:17):
Yeah, from an academic standpoint, both were
fantastic.
I mean, I almost went toMcCarthy as a freshman anyways,
I kind of personally wanted to.
I think I went to St Thomasmore as a my parents maybe
pushed me more.
So when I got to McCarthythat's where I truly wanted to
be.
So again, it was more it wasabout football, but it was about
academics too.
It was about basketball.
I wanted to play basketball.
I had the opportunity atMcCarthy.

(20:37):
I didn't have the opportunityat St Thomas.
I played two years and then mysenior year made the decision to
just go football.
But when it came to the NorthBroward thing, it was a pure
football decision.
I mean, my grades were finefrom an SAT, act, gpa standpoint
.
It truly was football andgetting to the next level.

(20:58):
And you know, we just I would,I think we got better, just a
better conversation, a bettersell at a prep school than at a
public school, and that's youknow, we went with that decision
for North Barrett, prep overWestern.
But purely football was thedecision.
And that was when my parentsunderstood that and my mom
actually signed off on it, whichyou know, mom's, in those

(21:19):
situations it's always academicsand you know the non-sport side
.
But that was purely a foot, asport decision, which you don't
see.
That too, at least I was notexpecting that.

James LaGamma (21:30):
You know my high school career yeah, and I mean
uh, correct me if I'm wrong here, or or you shed some light on
it, but when you were going frommccarthy to north prower prep,
there was some problems going onat mccarthy with the football
program correct?

Ryan Selimos (21:45):
yeah, so we there was a problems going on at
McCarthy with the footballprogram, correct?
Yeah, so there was a change inadministration and then they had
fired the head coach, who,again, we just made a run to
states on and you bring in thisnew regime.
Funding and financials became aproblem as well based on that
administration change, andthat's what led to the decision
for a lot of people to have toleave and reroute.
I played with Marshall Morgan,who was a kicker for Georgia,

(22:07):
had a couple years in the NFL inhigh school.
He wound up at a different highschool as well.
So, yeah, I wasn't just theonly one, it was kind of a mass
exodus in a sense.

James LaGamma (22:16):
Yeah, I actually remember hearing about it and
you know, obviously we knew eachother because you went to St
Thomas, I went to St Thomas, Iwent to St Thomas too.
I stayed all four years and wesaw each other in passing and
this is, I know, this is alwaysmy favorite story.
We would see each other as akicker and Ryan was actually a
holder, and then obviously theyalso had wide receiver practice

(22:39):
going on, but we did this atMcCarthy while he was there, so
I would see him every Sunday andwe would just lock eyes and be
like kind of remember you, Iknow you, but I'm not gonna say
hi, we're not gonna and it was.

Ryan Selimos (22:49):
It was so awkward, it was mutual it was mutual.

James LaGamma (22:52):
I was feeling the same way.
I'm like I don't want to talkto this guy.
I don't even know him anymore,um, but I remember, because of
being out there at mccarthy andplus um, you, you had the the
special teams coach came from stthomas too.
So, um, and I know those aresome great stories that he he
has shared with me as well, asyou've experienced firsthand.
Um, but uh, yeah, I rememberhearing the stories about, like

(23:15):
the program kind of fallingapart and a little mass exodus
and everything.
But it sounds like Fabian stuckit out.

Ryan Selimos (23:20):
Um, so Fabian actually left.
Maybe it was like he was atWestern.

James LaGamma (23:23):
So he went to Western.
He was at.

Ryan Selimos (23:25):
Western after his freshman year, so he was there
for three years.
So the decision was either togo to North Broward with some of
the McCarthy guys or go toWestern with Fabian.
And again, just based off theconversation and pitch.

Jonny Strahl (23:40):
Are you talking Northwestern or no?

James LaGamma (23:43):
no, no, I was just curious no no no, no, I was
just curious.

Jonny Strahl (23:44):
No, no no, no, that's a school.
Western was a high school, notMiami Northwestern, no, no no, I
know Fabian went there.

James LaGamma (23:51):
Yeah, western was a high school and they were
actually pretty good too, hisjunior and senior year.
I'm telling you they balled out, they gave us some problems too
when we beat, we beat them.
But yeah, so you've bouncedaround now from different high
schools, right, friends groups,kind of changing and shifting.

(24:12):
You had all these people yougrew up with in high childhood.
You kind of obviously had a lotof middle school runs there
with probably similar people.
Right right, seems to be thestory that you're telling.
Now, all of a sudden, youtransition to I'm kind of
leaving all these people behind.
You're almost lone wolfing.
Now you have to go find acollege, right?
Um, were there.
What was the mindset going intocollege, essentially like

(24:34):
you're leaving your high school.
What are the goals andaspirations?
What made you do the choices?
What did you want to accomplishin college?
Um, I'm gonna gather it'sprobably sports related.
Is what stetson was?

Ryan Selimos (24:43):
chosen for two reasons One for football, two
for academics.
He had to sell mama onacademics, but it was pure.
Another football decision.
I knew I look at me, I ain't noD1.

James LaGamma (24:54):
Like I knew it was it was cool, it was one
double a.
It was one double a.
And now my goal.

Ryan Selimos (24:58):
My goal, sophomore junior year, was to get to one
double, was to get to one doublea level.
So I was able to check a boxand say, hey, I got to go play D
.
One double a.
That was huge for me.
Um, even with, you know whatStetson had to offer and we all,
we all got sold on Roger hellof a't left for college yet.

(25:29):
But the parents organized aquote-unquote meet-and-greet and
it's the St Thomas kids.
There was a group of St Thomaskids going to Stetson.
Well, I went to St Thomas for ayear so I kind of know.
So here I show up at this meetand greet.
We're going to Stetson dinner.
You got James there, you got.

Kenny Massa (25:42):
Eric.

Ryan Selimos (25:42):
Fitzgerald, you had a couple, tanner Moeller,
who we've talked about.

James LaGamma (25:45):
Joey Rizzo.

Ryan Selimos (25:46):
Yeah, so there I am Back, like I've been with you
guys for four years, just whoop, whoop, let me.

James LaGamma (25:51):
Yep, there was like 10 of you.

Ryan Selimos (26:04):
That million effect that you're mentioning?

Jonny Strahl (26:05):
yeah, is an interesting concept.
I've never heard you say itbefore.
I'm telling you it's a newrealization.
As I did this deep dive, itcomes up even more.
It's weird.
I'm curious.
So when you you, I think it'sit's interesting because we kind
of understand this story to acertain level.
James has a point of view,obviously knowing you from, from
growing up, a bit more thankenny and I but sure, as we talk
about making the decision to goto stetson right being in
college, what was the influence?

(26:25):
As james asked.
I think it's very interestingbecause, as you are an adult now
, as you grow up, when we firstmet you you have, of course,
what's that thing?
Roger would always say Sixseconds you get a perception.
Oh yeah, the fact that you havebeen able to reflect on that

(26:58):
chameleon effect and the changesand all of the things that took
place in the switching highschools, it resonates so much
more now and really the reasonwhy you are the way you are, um,
and that and this is why we'refocused on quote-unquote
relationships for this part ofthis podcast stems really for
who you are to this day, um.
So when we hear that and seethat, I guess just walk us
through when you got to college.
Obviously, when you get college, you're trying to figure it out

(27:20):
Everyone's kind ofexperimenting and whatever that
means.
But talk us through thatjourney, especially going
through what you've kind of gonethrough.
I almost feel that this was agood thing and I'm saying this
in my own opinion because itgives you a fresh perspective.
There's a lot of peoplestarting new, starting over, and
this is a chance to almostbuild your, your new brand and
who you are and what you want toaccomplish out of those four

(27:42):
years.

Ryan Selimos (27:43):
So, for starters, we talked about going back to my
childhood.
I didn't leave till 18, right,my family did, and I was kind of
the first one to break away.
We are on the drive.
It is only three hours fromSouth Florida to D land Florida.
If you don't know D land,daytona, I don't think I'm in
fucking Florida, because SouthFlorida can you know?
it is, it is there's one dynamicand you get out of West Palm,

(28:03):
it is completely different.
We are on the road and I'm justlike where the hell?
I mean, yeah, we visit, youvisit Stetson, you commit, but
then you it's months ago.
So I'm looking where the hellare we going?
The hell?
What did I sign up for,basically?
But then getting there, I meanfor me it might have been new
for a lot of people I'd donethis three times so I knew

(28:23):
exactly how this was probablygoing to play out.
What you know, I've done thissong and dance before getting to
college.
It wasn't anything new.
We were there what a monthearly for football.
The girls are looking we ain'tseen girls for a month and look,
the twos are looking like tensby the time they get there.
Um, but uh y'all know you wantto preface like why you're

(28:49):
saying that?

Jonny Strahl (28:50):
because we were.
Yeah, we were camp two days.

Ryan Selimos (28:52):
It's the hot dehydration.
All dudes, no chicks but umgrinding away yeah but I got
close with um Vincent and TylerMcGill people we've talked about
before.
They were roommates, rightacross the hall from me, so also
played football, so kind offound them right away, had the
St Thomas kids and then, yeah,that was kind of the first

(29:17):
semester and then we started andthen Pike comes aboard and
that's, I think, where you startto find yourself, because we
all know it and anyone who goesto college, that first semester
a lot of people don't make it.
A lot of people get homesick.
They go back home for whatever,whether you're playing sports
or not, for any 18-year-old it'sa change.
When you go to school away,when you move away and you have

(29:42):
to get over that hump, and noteveryone does.

James LaGamma (29:43):
So you have to find yourself a little bit, and
I believe we all had at onepoint during that first semester
thoughts of leaving.
Sure, I almost went back toJersey.

Ryan Selimos (29:51):
I was close.

Jonny Strahl (29:52):
That first semester.

Ryan Selimos (29:53):
How many times did you drive back home when we had
an off weekend?
Oh gosh, I couldn't, I couldn't.

Jonny Strahl (30:01):
I went home when we had an off weekend.
Oh gosh, I couldn't, I couldn't, I went every time I went to
johnny's.

Kenny Massa (30:03):
Actually there was periods of times where, you know
, I kind of banked off of thefamily that I, that I grew in, I
mean I and I.
I was fortunate to meet johnnylike literally day one we live
across the hall from each otherright so I mean, I mean I pretty
much knew Johnny from literallyday one to now and, like you
know, my family got to meetJohnny's family, so that was

(30:24):
unique but like you know, youwere three hours away, so it is
interesting.
I've never been able to seelike an inside perspective.

Ryan Selimos (30:32):
Did you go home a lot?
I know I went home every timewe had an opportunity.
I think we had fall break andmaybe a long weekend like Labor
Day.
I'm thinking I went home.
What about, like just springbreaks and stuff?
Well, spring break first year Iwent home.

Jonny Strahl (30:45):
Yeah, our freshman year, like dullest spring break
ever went home oh yeah yeah,then we found cruises and the
keys and all the, all the goodtimes, but yeah, let's talk to
us a little about your uh, yourfraternity experience joining
clubs while also playingfootball, and you've emphasized
in the past, on a few episodes,just kind of that journey

(31:06):
dealing with injuries, and Ithink it's important to kind of
share and showcase a few ofthose testimonies you did go
through, just to kind of tie itall in and where you were at
personally.

Ryan Selimos (31:17):
Well, as you kind of heard, I changed high schools
for kind of heard the changehigh schools for football Went
to Stetson for football and thenwe sit out the entire first
season and then it's all takenaway from you.
I went through some depression,for sure, but I think what
helped pull me through it washaving something else to fall
back on, which was a fraternity.
And it wasn't no fraternityexperience like y'all think.

(31:40):
It was really a bunch of us asfootball guys saying, hey, we'd
like to, we're gonna take overthis house and hang out together
and and then we'll do some ofthe fraternity stuff.
Um, but it also gave us anopportunity to cross paths with
people we probably would neverhave like.
I think of of gabriel smithgator, our boy.
I probably wouldn't have hungout with him in college.

(32:01):
Even Jordan Ewood Woody I don'tknow if we would have crossed
paths.
We had the opportunity to buildbonds, build relationships with
these guys.
Because of that, in addition toleaning even more in and
spending even more time withfootball, now with Pike, now
you're living with each otherevery single day and really
create bonds.
You can't leave out the idiotsbetween Austin Marks, jeb

(32:24):
Boudreau, dre Long, griff Vareythese are people still in our
life today, but we kind of weall spent time together in that
setting.
Yeah, and lived together weliterally lived together for
extended periods of time.

James LaGamma (32:42):
I mean mean college is a different
environment.
All together, right in highschool, middle school,
elementary school.
You're going home every singlenight.
You live with the same peopleevery single day.
You get up and you get to gomeet your friends.
Well, this is a differentenvironment.
You don't have that anymore.
You're messed with hundreds ofkids all in one dorm right and
you're got people across thehall.
It's kind of like your firstacclimation into life.

(33:03):
You know by yourself, but, um,you know it's different.
Right, you had to navigate that.

Ryan Selimos (33:10):
There was a lot of different people that you keep
coming across every single dayand for me it got heightened
because, right, you talk aboutthe, the experience in high
school and never having thosepeople.
Now you're spending years.
You're spending two, three,four years with this group.
I leaned into that a lotbecause I didn't want to repeat
the regrets that I had in highschool.

(33:31):
So now it's time to graduatecollege and here I am faced with
that situation again of maybepotentially having to restart.
I don't want to restart, um,and I'll to this day.
I was one of the biggestproponents of us staying in
central florida, and a lot of usI mean a lot of us did and
still are.
I have some differentperspectives in my 30s weird

(33:51):
than I did in my 20s um, but,but it's all.
It kind of all steamrolled intothat again as I think back on it
, like I wanted to keep theparty going.
These are the best four yearsof our lives.
Why does it have to stop?
We just go 45 minutes down theroad.
We're still living together.
You two were roommates, ab andI were roommates.
We're still doing kind of thesame things.
We were not playing ball.
We're working now, but it'sstill that similar lifestyle.

Jonny Strahl (34:15):
Yeah, two part question Do you have?
So when you talk about thehopping around, I almost I
almost think of it as, like yourparents were in the military,
almost where you know you'restationed and you're going
elsewhere.
And I know a lot of kids and alot of people will go through
that struggle to to really havemeaningful connections and
meaningful relationships, notbecause they so much don't want

(34:37):
to, but it's because it's thefear of building a relationship
and growing a best friend.
It's going to be removed orit's just going to walk away at
some point Putting yourself outthere.
So in college did you ever feellike?
At a point you were like, hey,I kind of want to be reserved

(34:58):
and I don't want to get tooinvested into friendships and
whatnot because of what'shappened in the past.
And then the second part ofthat question is was there ever
a moment where you can reallythink about it's like hey, these
are my boys, this is the groupof friends that I'm never going
to let walk away?

James LaGamma (35:09):
Yeah.

Jonny Strahl (35:11):
And I probably know where you're going to go
with this, but go ahead.

Ryan Selimos (35:13):
Well, for starters , to answer the first question,
no, on the reservations, okay,I'm not a person who has always
just gone head first.
I think that's why, you know,the fall hurts like the regret
carries, because you don't planfor that, you don't plan for it
to end, you just go all in andenjoy the ride as long as you
can.
Um, so so no, I never.
It never was a second guess tome.

(35:35):
Um, and for these are my people, it's it's senior year.
It's we are sitting watching acruise video that james lagama
has created.
We are talking about gettingtattoos, a family, that shit,
that shit was real.
That shit was real.
For me, it's just like yeah,this and again, this is second,
this is second semester, senioryear.

(35:55):
So you've heard the plans ofwhat people are going, what
people are doing and a lot.
There's a lot of talk about aspeople who want to, who want to
stay, my, my now wife at thetime.
She's already moved back fromCalifornia, she's already
graduated, she's hanging outwith us in the land.
You know she's living inOrlando.
So my, my future is pretty setin Orlando.
Now I'm starting to all right,who's riding with me?
You know, adam, we roommatesright away.

(36:17):
You know, adam, we're roommatesright away.
Johnny was in port orange, wedidn't.
We weren't as close right away.
James goes south now.
James up in orlando.
All right, that's a piece ofthe puzzle.
All right, now johnny's moving.
That's a piece of the puzzle.
Ken massa could have gone tonew jersey.
He's still in florida.
That's a win.
You know the idiots we talkedabout being griff, austin, jeb
dre.
They're still in the land.
You know they come, come see usin Orlando.

(36:38):
And now you start to see howall of this, this is possible.
There's a chance at this, youknow, at keeping this euphoria
going on.
Um, and I kind of felt like theringleader a little bit with it
, like I can make this happen.
Why, why does it have to end?
Cause, again, I'm a person who,who doesn't?
you can't tell me what to do youall know that you know, um, so

(37:03):
you can say that, yeah, you know, you go to college and you guys
, you move away and you startfamilies and that's cool for a
lot of people.
But who says that has to be us?
Why can't we be the people whochange that norm?
That's just my been mymentality behind it for a long
time.

Kenny Massa (37:17):
Yeah, I would say that as a group, collectively,
we've done with no one's like noone's distinctively taken
ownership of a specific rolethat keeps this.
That's like this glue thatkeeps it together.
I think it's an equallydistributed bond that we all
share, but we've done reallywell at keeping a sense of just

(37:43):
sharing experiences andcontinuing the trend and
continuing the bond and seeingeach other religiously.
Now, of course, events happenand that brings us together with
different life events, whetherit be engagements or weddings or
this or that.
But I mean, there's beenreasons where we just birthdays,
like, and our group is so largethat events are happening like

(38:03):
on any given month, like there's10 events I can go up to
Orlando for, so it's like whereyou guys can come down here,
right.
So we've done really well atkeeping that camaraderie
together and really I don'tthink it's a wave, because the
wave is never going to crash.
I think it's a constantlymoving effort that we just
continuously build.

Ryan Selimos (38:27):
So, yeah, no matter where we are in Florida,
we find a way.
Yeah, and I think one of theawesome things you hear as we've
gone through those differentweddings and we've met the
different families and thedifferent extended relatives, is
you continue to hear like, lookat this group that is still
together.
First it was maybe three years,five years, seven years I mean
we've been out of college eightyears and friends for 12 still

(38:48):
going.
It just evolved.
It's turned from weddings andbachelor parties into to babies,
baby showers.
We talked about golf trips on adifferent episode.
I think it just continues toevolve and I will um johnny made
a comment.
Our first year out of collegeI've never forgotten it was, uh,
we're at new samaritan beachand he's just like the people
who want to be invested, they'llfind a way to show up.

(39:08):
So, and we and like you said,kenny, there's no, it's a little
everyone is finding a way.
Maybe it's not every singleevent, but everyone's trying to
show up in in those biggestmoments yeah and um.

Kenny Massa (39:23):
I think that these events and the specifically the
large life events, have deepenedour bond.
Sure, like we know literallyeverybody's families to a
greater extent, your extendedfriends, people we would never
cross cross paths with ourselvesfrom like every one of our
perspectives, like the, the mostingrained one is like nolan,

(39:45):
like I would never know nolanright outside of james.
Or like fabian I would neverknow fabian outside of of of
that relationship.
So like we know each other on amore deeper level, which I
think is a great thing, and Iknow that you love that because,
uh, it just secures the dealeven more with the relationships
a little bit.

Ryan Selimos (40:04):
Yeah, it proves me right, I was waiting for the
right.

Jonny Strahl (40:08):
I love that.
Um, all right.
So adulting, you're figuring itout in college.
Um, we could spend an hour juston you let's not in in college.
Oh my, talk us through.
Graduating from college, you'rein the workforce.
I believe and I think we allcan share this and say this out
loud I think a lot of yoursuccess defining in who you are

(40:30):
in the workforce and in thefinance industry stems from how
you grew and your relationshippiece and what you brought to
the table when we were incollege.
So we got to see it first athand.
But talk through that journeyjust in the real life, in the
real world.

Ryan Selimos (40:45):
Yeah, so we've talked about this a little bit
Unique Kenny kind of doesn'tcount because he started the
company, but we've all been atthe same company that we started
with since we graduated college.
Within that, I've been on thesame team in the the same
department at the same companyfor the last seven and a half
years.
Um, now our department'sconstantly changing, adapting

(41:05):
new responsibilities, pivots, soit hasn't felt like that.
You know, I've been able toadopt a lot of different skills.
Um, technically, leadershipwise, that's just interesting.
Um, but from a relationshipstandpoint, you know, I had a
lot of coworkers.
You come into a larger company,james Johnny, your company seems
a little bit more new schoolyounger, younger dynamics, I

(41:30):
don't know.
But for me I came in and it wasalmost oh, this is the frat
football kid who's joining theteam.
And I had a lot of people wholooked out for me, you know, and
helped me get to thosedifferent promotions and get
into leadership.
And I'm not going to say it wascoddled, but it was mentorship,
but it was almost like bigbrother, big sister type of

(41:53):
thing.
So from a co-worker standpoint,again, you had those people
looking out for me.
From a coworker standpoint,again, again, you had those
people looking out from you, youbuilt relationships with these
people and then you know, seeingit come to fruition.
Now I'm in these leadershippositions.
I want to do the same thing forfor anyone coming through
because of what people did forme to help me get to where I am.

(42:14):
I think a lot of us understandwe don't get to where we are, at
least from a career standpoint.
Most of the timeentrepreneurship is different by
ourselves and I had theopportunity to learn from a
career standpoint.
Most of the timeentrepreneurship is different by
ourselves and I had theopportunity to learn from a lot
of people on just the waycorporate America works, the way
business works, and then, asyou move through those roles,
how those roles work.

James LaGamma (42:33):
Love it.
So let's give a quick littlerecap here.
You go from big family right,hanging out with friends, kind
of up until that, that highschool mark, sure.
Then you're, you bounce aroundyou almost a lone wolf.
In retrospect you have friends,yes, but you're.
You're changing that group offriends constantly and having to

(42:53):
adapt and, like you said, thechameleon effect.
You go into college and youknow again still started off
chameleon effect, but youstarted to branch out from your
normal path of sports.
Life was sports.
Now you're kind of doingsomething else and that helped
you guide you through thatprocess.
Yeah, to now you're having 40plus friends and and that's not
a joke when we say that, becauseI mean we've had trips planned

(43:16):
where you have, we have 40 pluspeople on the same location yeah
, all people, all people that wewent to college with.
Now you've got your career, soyour relationships are growing
even more, and so now you've gotcoworkers, mentors and all that
stuff.
But there's also a specificrelationship that you have to
develop as well.

(43:37):
That's different.
And bouncing in college and highschools and all these things,
your friends, it's, it's easyright, but relationships with a,
a romantic relationship, is alittle bit different, sure, and
so you know.
It started in college, yourrelationship with morgan um, and
, like you kind of said, shegraduated before us.
So you know what walk usthrough, like how you went

(43:59):
through that path, because it'sthat's different, right, you,
you, this is a person of one,right, it's now becomes a person
of two.

Ryan Selimos (44:06):
So that one's pretty, pretty easy.
Um, you know, I I think themoment for us came early,
because it was she lives inCalifornia, I live in Florida
when she decided to come back toFlorida, kind of similar Ah,
all the boys are moving toOrlando.
All right, we got the lady,she's moving to Orlando, so
we're looking good, we're lockedin.
Um, you know she, she's from arelationship, so I'm just going

(44:32):
to like she's my wife, she's whyI get up every day, she's why I
go to work, do this.
My goal is that she doesn'thave to work.
That's the goal that I've laidout, that that I'm going to
execute for her at some point inthis life.
Um, but she puts up with a lot,a lot.
Y'all put up with a lot, sheputs up with a lot.

(44:53):
So thank you, um.
But you know, I heard a.
It's not a quote, but it'ssomething that guy I work worked
with at my company.
He's no longer there.
He told me marriage isn't 50,50, it's a hundred, a hundred.
And what he meant by that is.
you know, there are going to bedays where you're not going to

(45:14):
be at her at your best, she'snot going to be at her best and
one of you is going to have tocarry the entire plate.
It's not.
Oh, I did half the work, nowyou pick up the other half.
It's hey, you might.
For example, you might have tocook and clean the dishes today
because I'm just I can't, andthat just stuck for me and I
heard that early and I've triedto apply that often.

(45:38):
Where it's listen, it's we andit's 100% me, it's 100% you and
it's 100 you and it's 100together.
There's no counting scores of,again, of who's carrying what
load, it's just whatever isnecessary for us.
We are one.

James LaGamma (45:47):
you get it done, you figure it out and it's also
worthwhile to point out, becauseshe was in college, she knew a
lot of the same people that wewere hanging out with too right
so it's cool to get everyonekind of ingrained and you know
um having similar interests,having similar backgrounds,
having memories, that kind ofgive that foundation right.

Kenny Massa (46:04):
So it's just, it helps your case yeah, she's
known all of us, yeah, exactly along time and for for live with
us at one point she didn't livewith us longer than expected.

Ryan Selimos (46:15):
It's fine in college, um, but at one point,
you know, it was like I guess II saw this in my head, I don't
know if y'all saw this I broughtthe boys and she brought the
girls.
Because we did it, we spent alot of time with with volleyball
, which she played volleyball,and we're still close with with
a lot of people you know fromthat, like I think of a kayla
weller, I think of um yeah, yeah, shannon gregg, who brought

(46:37):
something that's, that's acouple, that's definitely yeah
you know comes from morgan'srelationship I think, and I
think of a lot, because our bondwith tim is like so grand and
like it's.
I mean it's almost like he's oneof us, you know we see tim with
shannon we get it, weunderstand and right dynamics

(46:58):
change, but you know from wherewe're at today.
Another reason that, as afriend group, we're able to go
on these trips and be able toexperience all these things
together is there's no.
You talk about the family drama.
If you look at us, at a bigfamily, you expect drama, and
there isn't that animosity thatboils over where people aren't
talking to each other, whichthen now people are making a

(47:19):
decision to pick a side and nowyou're losing communication.
You know everyone.
It's not that everyone is thebest of friends, but there's
that common respect and, I think, ability to go out and enjoy
moments together.
Whether you're there for yoursignificant other, you're there
for just the people who arethere?
You know, it all stems from us,all of us, the entire group,
having a common familiarity allof us, the entire group, having

(47:42):
a common familiarity therelationship standpoint that you
both bring.

Kenny Massa (47:45):
That was unique because we share that from all
of our perspectives.
We share so much of a um, Idon't know the correct way to
say this an equal distributionof relationships.
Right, the females justrecently, like, we all are super
close and any opportunity wecan take to spend time together,
we take it like a hundredpercent the, our, our partners

(48:08):
all go to a bridal shower.
They're all celebrating at abridal shower.
We're all hanging out togetheras well, like it just so.
It makes it easier for usbecause we know the wives spend
time together.
We spend time together.
They all go on bacheloretteparties.
We go on bachelor parties.
We all do these thingsindependently, but also like in

(48:29):
synergy, because we're allequally each other's friends
together in some way, shape orform.
It's so unique.

Jonny Strahl (48:37):
I think a point to piggyback off, that is when we
talk about the relationshippiece and just still continuing
to find ways to hang out and betogether is well, yeah, you're
going to get married.
That's going to disrupt maybeHasn't.

Ryan Selimos (48:51):
No, not at all.

Jonny Strahl (48:53):
Your friends are going to start to have kids.
Our friends have started tohave kids.
We have a soon-to-be fatherhere coming here shortly, that's
right.
That still hasn't disrupted.
In fact, it's actually providedus better and more
opportunities to celebratebirthday parties, hey.
When the wives go on abachelorette party, all right,
the boys got to get together andwe're all hanging out and
helping babysit the little ones,right, yeah, which is really

(49:15):
cool.
And your priorities change andyour life changes, but what
stays the same is therelationships, right, and that's
one thing, man, I will say.
It's it's a huge, huge wake upcall for me, just from how
important, meaningfulrelationships are and you think
you know what it means.

(49:35):
But as you grow older and yousaid you hit this 30s, you're
like, oh boy, here we go.
And that started very youngwith you, man, where we started
hanging out and like I was likethis guy is just, like he just
won't give up, everyone's got tobe together.

Ryan Selimos (49:48):
And then here we are 10 plus years later go back
to work.
That my two, that we didstrength finders and I think
that this leaned into me or Ileaned into it.
But you know, my whole life issports, right, everything is for
sports.
I'm like, oh easy competition,why am I even taking this test?
Competition was not the numberone strength, it was harmony.
And I think that was an earlyrevelation because, like, oh

(50:09):
shit, competition was number two.
So it's like yo, I love you butI want to kill you, but it's
just the fact that it wasn'tflipped, I don't know so I
leaned into it even gave meanother reason to continue to
lean into it even more now thatI'm out of college into the work
profession and trying tofacilitate this, hey, we're all

(50:30):
hanging out.
But again, like I said,perspectives if you ask that
question to 25-year-old Ryan, to30-year-old Ryan, you now get
different answers mind, you nowget different answers.

James LaGamma (50:43):
I mean, if you can lean into that actually a
little bit more, uh, you know,you went through all these
different phases of your lifeand obviously there's points of
self-reflection andself-awareness.
You know what?
What were your key takeaways,like what worked in when
building these lastingcorrections and connections and
making sure that these thingsstay together?

Ryan Selimos (50:57):
chameleon effect.
You have these differentconversations with all these
different individuals and youmorph into what that person
needs in that moment.
And that's where this big ahahas come up for me, because I
look at my job, I'm a manager,you manage certain different
people.
They all need different things,putting on different hats,
putting on different hats,morphing into what they need.
You got this big friend groupand the conversations.

(51:18):
Whether to diffuse a situationor to just talk about
misinterpretations, you have tomorph and, like the last two
weeks, this thing just poof forme, which is weird, but I don't
know how much I like it because,again, I have my own struggles
with it from differentstandpoints, but there is a lot
of common similarities of thateffect, going back to when I'm

(51:41):
talking about 15 years old.

James LaGamma (51:44):
And you.
You now have friends that havebeen around for, I think we've
said, 12 years, definitely goingto keep going on from here,
right, but we're in differentenvironments throughout
different phases of our livesand you kind of mentioned we
went through college, thenworkforce, then weddings, then
now it's kids and family.
Just how does that play out foryou?

(52:05):
Over time, the changingenvironments and how the
relationships have maybe evolvedor changed or stayed the same?

Ryan Selimos (52:15):
I mean for the most part.
For me, the relationships have,I think, stayed the same.
I'd say the biggest change.
I'd probably pivot to Adam andBilly with kids and just what
that dynamic is andunderstanding that they're not
going to be around foreverything and that's totally
okay.
It just looks different.
It goes back to what Johnnysaid Things just look different,
but that's not bad.
But outside of that, at leastagain from my perspective, I see

(52:36):
probably y'all too much, I seea lot of our friends too much.
Not a bad thing, so it hasn'tfelt.
It's not at that point yetwhere it's changed for me.
Maybe it's changed for othersand I understand, I think, a lot
better today that it willchange and that's okay.
Because I can go back to twomoments with two people at this
table.
Uh, we're at bill walsh's houseyears ago and james agama hits

(53:02):
us with, after maybe a coupledrinks, couple couple beverages,
that he's moving to northcarolina.
Naturally, I didn't take thatwell, I made, I threw a, I threw
a fit about it.
But who am I to?
Who am I to make that decisionfor someone else?
How selfish is that of me tosay, hey, you can't do this
because of me.
So, yeah, and you fast forwardand you look at, jonathan straw

(53:24):
just got a new role Awesome,could maybe pull him out of
Florida.
You never know.
I didn't have that reaction.
I didn't have that reflectionCause, you understand, it's not
a, it's not about you, andthings are going to change and
they're going to look different.
Um, and that's okay, but thattook me a while to get to.

James LaGamma (53:46):
Johnny, you ever thought you'd hear that from him
.

Jonny Strahl (53:51):
Yeah, we're growing up.
Yeah, man, I don't know if thisis a.
I want to ask you this, andthis might be very simple for
you to answer, but I feel likeyou have a good take on reading
people or understanding who youwant in your circle.
What do you value most in arelationship as you reflect?

(54:15):
What do you think?
Maybe some of the things thatmaybe we collectively or not
collectively bring to the tablethat makes you want to hang out
with us cool kids and keep us inyour life.

Ryan Selimos (54:28):
I don't know if it's a characteristic of the
person.
I think for me the biggesttakeaway I have is I've seen it
both ways.
I've seen it stay together andI've seen it fall apart.
And when it fell apart I was atthe root, I was in the middle
of that, I was maybe the rootcause of that.
And I think for me it goes downto communication and it's a two

(54:49):
way street.
It's it's you reaching out tothat person, checking in hey,
how are you doing?
But it's also receiving thatmessage and responding.
And you could take that at thefriendship level, you could take
that at the marriage level, youcould take that at so many
different levels that when yousee people stop talking and stop
communicating, that's the firstred flag, because if you lose

(55:11):
communication, it's hard to getanything back, because if you're
not on the same page now themind starts to wander, now all
these different things start topop up.
But even through the good andthe bad, if you're able to
communicate and even if youstray afar, if you can get back
on the same page and talkthrough it, that's going to give
you the best chance.
So I I don't know if there's acharacteristic of why I hang out

(55:32):
with, with the cool kids.
I just think it's you know, weall have a.
I think we all understand andwe we communicate when things
are going great.
We communicate going bad, andthat that speaks for the people
at this table.
It speaks for the people not atthis table, too, that we've, uh
name, dropped a referencethroughout the conversation.

Kenny Massa (55:48):
Yeah, I think that one thing that I want to
probably end with here is youknow, I think it's important for
any person in life to choosethe people that they involve
themselves with carefully.
Right, you want to make surethat you surround yourself with

(56:08):
good people.
You want to make sure thatthose people are helping you
grow into the person that youwant to become.
How do you strategically ensurethat you're placing yourself in
front of the right people,professionally and personally,
to continue to develop yourselfand your relationships and just
put you on the path that youwant to be on for who you want

(56:30):
to become?

Ryan Selimos (56:32):
yeah, I think, um, you know I took this from from
work.
You know, my first day theytold me, they told me, be a
sponge.
Right, you take a little bit of.
Take a little bit of what thisperson offers, a little bit of
what this person offers, alittle bit of what this person
offers, throw in your own andyou make it your own.
It's not copying, it's justtaking what you like.
So you take that approach andthen you always hear the quote

(56:56):
that is tell me who your friendsare, I'll tell you who you are.
Tell me who your friends are,I'll tell you who you are.
So I kind of you know in beinga sponge, and you know you
surround yourself with thepeople you want to be with.
From a podcast standpoint,social media, you listen to the
people you want to get to right.
You're heroes, athletes.
It's things you want to aspireto be.
You want to take a maybe havesome differences, but still you

(57:25):
know the ultimate similaritiesare there.
And then you tie the bow onwith and you could take this
back to parenting too we're allproducts of our environment.
You know, you understand whypeople are the way they are when
you understand where they camefrom what they've been through,

(57:46):
and you could say the same.
As people move forward, youknow if that person's going to
grow into this, and then youlook back at their path or their
trajectory.
Well, he's a product.
Here's all the things he wentthrough.
You mentioned on a previousepisode here those scars that
he's now gained, thoseexperiences, and how to handle
it.
Maybe the right way or thewrong way, but you have to go

(58:07):
through it.
So it's experience too.

Kenny Massa (58:12):
I like that.

James LaGamma (58:14):
Yeah, I mean, I guess, in closing, when you talk
about relationships, everyonehas a different path.
Right, they could have the bigfamily relationship, except in
the beginning they could havelittle to no family.
You know, they could grow up andfind just a single mentor, keep
a very close knit group offriends, but you know, everyone

(58:35):
has a unique story to tell andhas takeaways that they get from
it, and I thank you for forkind of sharing your path and
your life, what you've learnedalong the way your your, what
you value, what you um want tosee in in a relationship, and
it's a give and take, right,that that 100 out of 100 rule, I
think is something that a lotof people can walk away with on
this conversation, um, as wellas other things, um, I mean even

(58:58):
the chameleon effect, right,you, you turned it from a
negative thing into a positivething, right, like it's all
about outlook and andself-awareness and growth, right
, and you grow with people,relationships.
You know you don't get to whereyou're at by yourself.
Yeah, right, um, so uh, thankyou for kind of sharing with us
and uh going down that memorylane, which uh sounded like it

(59:21):
was uh a good thing, and youkind of enjoyed this uh, this
task, this uh reflection moment,really yeah it was um more prep
than I usually do so it's agreat dude.
Thanks man.
Well done, well done well well.

Kenny Massa (59:37):
Thank you for sharing.
We really appreciate all ofyour knowledge, experiences on
relationships and I think forall of us, we can't wait until
we have another event thatbrings all of our families
together and all of ouradditional friends families
together, because all of thoseevents are awesome.

James LaGamma (59:52):
Let's keep breaking the norm, baby, that's
right.

Kenny Massa (59:54):
Yeah, but until then the.

Ryan Selimos (59:56):
Bender continues.