December 16, 2024 • 60 mins
What if understanding your partner's unique energy type could transform your relationship? Join us on the Better Relationships Podcast as we explore this intriguing possibility with Dr. Dar, the Relationship Healer. In this episode, we uncover the secrets of human design types like generators, projectors, and manifestors, and how they can lead to more harmonious connections. Dr. Dar introduces the concept of a sixth energy type that emerges from the synergy between partners, offering a fresh perspective on creating empathetic and supportive relationships.
Our journey continues as we navigate the dynamics of various human design profiles and their impact on communication and connection. Learn about the innovative nature of the 3-5 profile and the visionary qualities of the 5-1 profile, and discover how acknowledging and supporting each other's differences can lead to better communication. We also explore the significance of defined and open centers in human design charts, delving into how they influence interactions and emotional responses between partners, ultimately enhancing understanding and harmony.
We round off this exploration by delving into practical techniques for leveraging human design insights in your relationship. From role reversal exercises to conflict resolution workshops, Dr. Dar shares strategies for strengthening emotional bonds and fostering a balanced dynamic. Embrace the enriching journey of human design, and take the first step toward a thriving partnership by visiting Dr. Dar's website to connect and explore your charts further. This episode promises to be not just a discussion, but a transformative experience in understanding and nurturing your relationships.
Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.
Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.
Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, secondary, and shadow Primary Relationship Needs by visiting https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship, and even improve communication and connection between you and your partner.
Note: The quiz name has changed from Sovereign Relationship Needs to Primary Relationship Needs as of July 2024. Please keep that in mind for podcasts dated before July 2024.
Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast.
I'm Dr Dar, the RelationshipHealer, and today I want to
share about a tool that Iabsolutely love using to help
compassionate, heart-centeredwomen and their partners have a
better relationship by lookingat the energetics of their
(00:20):
interactions instead of lookingat the person and what's wrong
with them.
Today's topic is 10 ways tobetter your relationship using
human design.
Human design serves as apowerful tool for understanding
how to be seen, heard,understood, valued, loved and
(00:44):
supported in your relationship,and not just the one with your
partner pretty much all yourrelationships.
By analyzing human designcharts, I have found that you
can uncover the dynamics thatactually shape the interactions
between you and your partner.
It's an energetic personalitytool that provides guidance into
(01:07):
your unique personality andthat of your partner and of the
relationship, because when youget into a relationship, there
is another identity that getscreated that is often times
taken for granted or not paidattention to, and that's what I
(01:27):
call relationship dynamics.
Human design is an energeticmap showing you who you are and
how you operate in yourrelationships and in your
environments.
It combines modern day quantumphysics with ancient modalities
(01:50):
of astrology, the JewishKabbalah, the Hindu chakra
system and the Chinese I Ching.
There's a lot more to it, butwhat I really love about it is
how it is holistic.
It brings many communities andmany traditions and many
(02:11):
methodologies from all over theworld together into one system,
and for me that is very unifying.
Put together into one systemcalled human design.
This personality tool createsacceptance for you by leaning
(02:31):
into and recognizing who you areat the core of your being, with
that feeling of being welcomedhome to your true self home to
your true self.
When you comprehend howdifferent energetic bodies
interact, you can navigate yourrelationships with greater
empathy and awareness by usinghuman design with individuals
(02:57):
and couples.
I have seen that we tend toattract people into our lives
based on who we're not.
That saying opposites attractis energetically a thing, like
it's really a thing.
(03:18):
But what happens is when we getattracted to other people based
on who we are not and based onwho they are showing up as,
because they're also behaving inmany ways as who they're not,
we then create problems becausewe're not seeing who we truly
(03:43):
are and owning who we truly areand owning who we truly are.
So in this article, I'm goingto explore 10 practical ways to
enhance your relationship usinginsights from human design.
I invite you to dive into thesestrategies to better understand
yourself and your partner.
To create a more harmoniousconnection.
(04:05):
Let's start with understandingyour own human design type.
Recognizing and embodying yourown human design energy type is
the first step in bettering yourrelationship dynamics.
Each type has uniquecharacteristics that influence
how you approach relationshipsand how you interact with your
(04:26):
partner.
Understanding, accepting andsupporting each other's
uniqueness or differences ineach other's energetic type and
that of your relationship willabsolutely help you have a
better relationship.
Before I provide you with abreakdown of each type, let me
(04:48):
share with you how you can findout what your type is, your
energetic type is.
You can click the button andyou will go to a page that will
ask you for your name, yourbirth date and where you were
born and the time of your birth.
(05:09):
That information is used tocalculate and create your human
design chart.
It will give you what your typeis and a lot more information
that I'll be going through hereAfter you've read this article
and go grab your chart and thencome back to this article to
(05:32):
help you assess and understandyour chart a bit better, based
on the details I provide here.
The first energy type is agenerator.
They are known for theirconsistent energy and enthusiasm
.
They have fuel to keep goingand going and going.
(05:54):
It's pretty amazing to be ingenerator.
Energy Generators thrive inrelationships where there's
mutual excitement and engagementrelationships where there's
mutual excitement and engagement.
They look for partners whoappreciate their vitality and,
at times, who can match theirlevel of activity.
You might be able to tell, as Ishare more about the other
(06:15):
types, that when a generator orany of the types gets into a
relationship with someone of adifferent energy type, there's
collaboration and communicationthat needs to occur and a lot of
acceptance and supporting eachother's energy type.
(06:36):
Projectors excel at guiding andleading and managing others In
relationships.
They value recognition andappreciation from their partners
that actually lights them upand gets them motivated and into
action.
They also often need way morerest and downtime, which
(06:57):
requires understanding andsupport from their significant
other.
Manifestors are naturalinitiators and leaders.
They prefer relationships thatallow them autonomy and freedom
to act on their impulses.
Partners to manifestors reallyneed to respect their need for
(07:19):
independence and their need tojust go and get stuff done or go
and do something when thethought shows up and when the
impulses show up and providesupport to their manifestor
partners in understanding whothey are and their need for
(07:40):
autonomy and freedom.
The fourth type is a manifestinggenerator.
Manifesting generators are ablend of generators and
manifestors combining theability to respond to life with
the power to initiate actions.
In relationships, manifestinggenerators need partners who can
(08:04):
keep up with their dynamic,energy and adaptability, or who
support it.
They value flexibility andspontaneity, needing both
freedom and stability from theirpartners.
This type is that of areflector.
Reflectors have a uniqueability to mirror their
(08:25):
environment.
In relationships.
They provide incredible,profound insights, but also
require stability andconsistency from their partners
to feel safe and secure.
Their well-being is closelytied to the harmony of their
surroundings and theirenvironments closely tied to the
(08:48):
harmony of their surroundingsand their environments.
So, if you're in a relationshipwith a reflector, creating
healthy, harmonious environmentsand surroundings and space is
important From my perspective.
There's also a sixth type andit's that of a relationship.
It is a sixth energy type thatgets created from the
(09:10):
combination of two or morepeople's energetics that does
not have a type or a name in andof itself, but will give you
insights into areas of magnetismbetween the people, areas of
magnetism between the people,areas where compromise is needed
, ways to know how to leverageeach other's strengths and what
(09:32):
those are, cautions as to wheredominating, controlling or
manipulating behaviors couldoccur, and areas of harmonic
compatibility.
To me, the energetics betweentwo people is very much like
dancing.
You want to be in sync in howyou're communicating more often
(09:53):
than not, so that dancing isfluid and joyful.
You feel like you and yourpartner fit well together and
belong together when you're inflow well together and belong
together when you're in flowwhen you're dancing.
And you want to be able tolearn the steps and body
positions when you're not insync, so that you get better
(10:14):
together in that dance.
That's what human design can dofor you and your relationship.
The second thing I want to sharewith you is about decoding you
and your partner's human designprofile.
Human design profiles are anadditional layer to your
energetic personality thatshapes how relationships work.
(10:37):
Each profile is identified bynumbers like a 1 and a 3 or a 4
and a 6.
Is identified by numbers like a1 and a 3 or a 4 and a 6.
The profile represents a mix ofpersonality traits and life
themes.
When two profiles join togetherin a relationship, it creates
(10:57):
additional strengths andchallenges that can arise.
The beauty of human design isit gives you the awareness of
these strengths and challengesahead of time or when you're in
the midst of a relationship,wanting to understand your
strengths and challenges andlearn to leverage each other's
(11:18):
strengths and collaborate tosupport each other with the
challenges that show up, throughan understanding of it's not
personal, it's not aboutsomething wrong with either of
you, and that it's just theenergetics between you and that
you can work on that, you canwork with that, you can work
(11:39):
together to figure out how tosolve it.
Now I'm going to share with youthe key profiles and their
dynamics One and three.
The archetype is theinvestigator that goes with the
one and the martyr that goeswith the three.
The strengths are that they aredeep researchers and they're
(12:00):
extremely resilient in problemsolving.
They may actually very well beproblem and solution focused.
The challenges of the one inthree is that they can take a
while to make decisions becauseof the need for research.
They can also be overlycautious and self-critical.
(12:21):
So if you're in a relationshipwith a one in three, give them
time to research, accept thattheir problem-solving nature is
a gift and notice when they'rebeing overly cautious.
Help them and support them byreducing or eliminating risk or
(12:47):
helping them with the researchso that they feel more
comfortable and safe.
If you're noticing that they'rebeing self-critical, have a
dialogue with them to help themsee that what they're critical
about may or may not be true.
Give them examples of whatthey're criticizing themselves
for, where they've demonstratedthe opposite or where they've
(13:10):
demonstrated that what they'recriticizing themselves for
really isn't the case, becauseyou can provide them with
examples showing otherwise.
The next profile is the four andthe six.
The next profile is the fourand the six.
They are represented by thearchetype of the opportunist,
(13:32):
with the four and the six is therole model.
Their strengths are naturalleaders by example.
They excel in networking andcommunity building.
They really are about bringingpeople together and finding
common ground.
I am a 4-6.
A challenge that they deal withis that they may struggle with
finding a balance between theirpersonal aspirations and the
(13:54):
societal roles that they servein.
Helping them find equality andembrace reciprocity would be a
really great thing.
If you're in a relationshipwith a four and a six, assisting
them and working on yourself tobecome more of a role model and
(14:15):
leading by example, will go along way if you're in a
relationship with a four and asix.
The next one is a two and a fourthe archetypes of hermit and
opportunist.
Their strengths are that theyhave natural talents that
flourish in the rightenvironment.
They are strong socialconnectors when, and only when,
(14:39):
they choose to engage.
One of their challenges is thatthey need alone time, and that
can be misunderstood asaloofness.
They also may have difficultybalancing solitude and social
interaction.
If you're in a relationshipwith a two and four, recognize
(14:59):
them for their natural talents,help them create the right
environments and assist themwith creating balance between
their need for alone time andcoming out into the world,
spending time with you and withyour community.
The next one is a three five.
(15:19):
The three represents the martyrand the five the heretic.
Their strengths are that theyare practical problem solvers,
they are adaptable and they'realways coming up with innovative
and transformative ideas.
One of the challenges with that, though, is they can be seen as
(15:41):
disruptive or unpredictable,and they could face resistance
when presenting new concepts.
If you're in a relationshipwith a three and five, know that
they are transformation agentsand they are here to solve
problems and createtransformation.
(16:02):
So when they are interruptingor breaking things or saying
things to create disruption,know that it's not personal.
Know that they're just lookingto create change and make things
better.
You may not see that there's aneed for that and communicating
(16:24):
in a way that lets them know.
Hey, I really appreciate yousharing this idea and I think
it's really great.
However, I don't see a problemwith where we are right now.
Can you share with me whatyou're seeing so that I can
better understand this newconcept you're sharing?
That creates a healthy dialogue, so that you can better
(16:45):
understand where they're comingfrom, and you may surprise
yourself.
You may take on some of thethings that they're sharing and
you may not, and that'scompletely okay too.
What matters is how you bothcommunicate through it.
The next profile is the 5-1.
It's the heretic and theinvestigator.
Their strengths are that theyare visionary thinkers who can
(17:09):
influence others through and intheir research and preparation.
A challenge is that they haveextremely high expectations from
themselves and, consequently,from others, and that can lead
to immense disappointment.
They can also become isolatedbecause of intense focus on
their goals.
If you're in a relationshipwith a 5-1, support their
(17:33):
visionary thinking, supporttheir research and preparation
needs and help them communicatetheir expectations to you,
because oftentimes they havethese high expectations from
themselves and others, butthey're not communicating them
and they're not creatingagreement, and so that's why
(17:55):
they get disappointed, becauseif it's in your head, people
don't know about it and theycan't help them get their needs
met.
So talking about needs, talkingabout the expectations, on an
ongoing basis is a healthy thingto do with a 5-1.
Also, help them find balance bycreating scheduled time where
(18:22):
they're not isolated, focusingon their goals.
They may resist that at first,but help them understand that
it's actually for their benefit,so that they can take a break
from their goals and a breakfrom what they're wanting to
create, and a break from theirresearch and preparation,
(18:42):
because that's going to helpthem rest and rejuvenate and
also gain interactions fromothers, which is actually going
to give them information in someway to help forward their goals
.
The next profile is the 6-2.
It's the role model and thehermit.
Their strengths are that theylead by example, with wisdom and
(19:06):
integrity.
They have a blend of visionaryleadership and deep
introspection.
A challenge, though, is thatthey can struggle with feeling
misunderstood or isolated.
Helping them learn how to andfor you to create some sort of
(19:27):
schedule with them that helpsthem balance their public life
with their need for solitudewill go a long way, and
supporting them so that theyhave their solitary time
uninterrupted is also a veryhealthy thing to do.
(19:50):
Now I want to go throughcomplementary and challenging
pairings.
These are just examples.
They're not absolutes, they'renot always true.
I just want to give you anexample so that you can better
understand how profiles give youadditional information about
(20:11):
how a relationship works ordoesn't work.
Here's a complementary exampleA 1-3 profile paired with a 4-6
can create a relationshipdynamic where the investigator
deeply explores solutions whilethe role model brings those
solutions into the community.
(20:32):
It requires collaboration andleveraging each of the profile's
strengths.
Here's a challenging exampleTwo profiles with strong
leadership traits, such as a 4-6with another 4-6, can face
power struggles unless theydevelop mutual respect for each
(20:54):
other's strengths.
Understanding the profiles, asI've explained them earlier,
will help you navigaterelationship compatibility by
appreciating how differentcharacteristics interact.
Recognizing that bothcomplementary aspects and
potential challenges actuallyhelps you and enables you to
(21:15):
create a harmonious, happy andhealthy relationship.
And here's why, most of thetime when we're in relationships
and the challenges happen, wecomplain, we criticize, we judge
.
We don't really understand themechanics behind those
challenges, and human designwill give you that.
It will also show you what yourstrengths are in that challenge
(21:39):
and then you can start talkingabout your partner strengths and
your strengths and where thechallenge is creating an issue
for the two of you.
And from that conversation it'snot personal, no one's getting
defensive, no one's judging eachother.
You're looking at your humandesign and the energetics and
(22:00):
you're like, okay, well, nowthat we know that this is going
on, what can we do to resolve it?
For us, maybe it's the partnerthat has the strength in that
area takes the accountabilityand handles it.
Partner that has the strengthin that area takes the
accountability and handles it,and you ask them to just keep
you informed and updated on aregular basis, or vice versa.
(22:21):
There are many ways to resolvechallenges once you understand
the mechanics and the energeticsof it.
The next thing I want to sharewith you about a human design
chart is about exploring definedand open centers in your
individual charts, but also inyour relationship chart that
(22:44):
shows the energetics of you andyour partner together in one
chart.
Defined and open centers arecrucial parts truly, truly of a
human design chart thatsignificantly affects how you
interact and connect with yourpartner.
So what are defined and opencenters?
(23:05):
Defined centers are areaswithin the chart that show
consistent energy patterns andthemes.
They represent aspects of yourpersonality that are stable and
reliable.
You can always count on them.
Conversely, open centers lackfixed characteristics and are
(23:29):
more susceptible to externalinfluence, making them areas
where you can absorb and magnifyenergy from others.
These are the areas in yourenergetic personality that are
unreliable.
They are inconsistent.
So when you've had days whereyou feel like you're not
(23:49):
grounded or you're unclear andyou feel like you're all over
the place, it could be thatyou're picking up energy from
outside of yourself andresponding to it or reacting to
it.
I didn't explain what a centeris, so let me do that now.
When you look at a human designchart, there are nine geometric
(24:12):
shapes consisting of squaresand triangles.
Each of those shapes is calledan energy center.
Now I want to talk about thesignificance of human design
when it comes to yourrelationships.
Understanding these centers isbeneficial for how to be seen,
(24:34):
heard, understood, valued, lovedand supported in your
relationship, and here's someexamples of how they impact
various aspects of yourpartnership.
The first one is communicationstyles With a defined throat
center.
If you or your partner havethis center defined,
(24:54):
communication is clear andexpressive.
The person with the definedthroat center might lead
conversations very naturally.
Someone with an open throatcenter, though, might struggle
with being heard.
They will often adapt theircommunication style based on who
(25:16):
they're interacting with.
The throat center can be foundby looking at your human design
chart, and it's the third squarefrom the top, so you'll have
two triangles at the top, andthen the next one is the throat
center.
When it comes to emotionaldynamics, having a defined solar
plexus indicates a consistentemotional experience.
(25:39):
This means that yourpredictable emotional responses
are a gift and that you processand learn through how you feel.
Through how you feel, peoplewith an open solar plexus are
(25:59):
more likely to absorb andamplify the emotions of others,
which leads to heightenedsensitivity and emotional ups
and downs.
The solar plexus is representedby the rightmost triangle at
the bottom of the chart.
At the bottom of the chart.
Next is compatibility arelationship where one partner
(26:21):
has defined centers while theother has corresponding open
centers and possibly create acomplementary dynamic.
The defined partner providesstability to their partner,
while the open partner offersadaptability and flexibility.
That in and of itself, iscomplementary, but this is also
(26:42):
where issues can occur.
Here's an example If you have adefined heart center, which is
represented by the smalltriangle towards the middle of
the chart on the right-hand side, if you have a defined heart
center which indicates aconsistent sense of self-worth,
(27:07):
motivation and willpower, andyour partner has an open heart
center, which creates variableself-esteem, motivation and
willpower, when you understandthis, it can help you support
each other better.
The issue, though, is that mostcouples don't know about human
design and we're reacting toeach other in day-to-day
(27:33):
interactions at a personal level, at a what's wrong level, and
how can I fix my partner or howcan I make them change.
But when you look at humandesign and understand each
other's charts, you then havesomething to work with.
You then have something that'saccepting of each other's energy
(27:54):
and nature, and you then cancreate common ground and find
solutions, not from a problemmindset, but from a human design
and relationship mindset.
Exploring these energeticdynamics allows you and your
partner to navigate yourinteractions with greater
(28:14):
empathy and awareness.
Now let's talk about leveragingdominant channels for effective
communication.
A channel is shown in yourchart by the pathways that
connect the geometric shapes toeach other, and you can have
(28:35):
open or defined channels.
Dominant channels play a crucialrole in shaping communication
patterns within relationships.
When one partner has a definedchannel that the other does not,
it creates a dynamic where theperson with the defined channel
tends to lead or dominate andtake over in conversations or
(28:59):
other areas of interaction.
When you understand thedominant channels in your charts
, then you and your partner canstart navigating communication
more effectively.
Here are some tips on how toleverage your dominant channels.
First, identify them.
(29:21):
Use your human designrelationship chart to pinpoint
which channels are dominant inyour relationship.
If you pinpoint which channelsare dominant in your
relationship, when you click thebutton to create your chart,
you will need to create your ownchart, create your partner's
chart and then create theconnection or the relationship
(29:44):
chart, so you will have threeviews of the charts.
Once you've done that, you canstart to recognize where one
partner consistently takes thelead and you can discuss whether
or not this causes issues inyour relationship.
You can then make agreementswhere collaboration and
communication is needed.
In those areas, along withthose that you both agree, one
(30:06):
partner is trusted to manage,with or without updating the
other partner.
A clue for when to look for thedominance in the relationship is
when you're running intoresistance or you're frustrated
or you don't feel like you'vegot choice or freedom.
It's usually when you havethese emotional ups and downs or
(30:29):
something feels off in therelationship that's usually
place to look.
Or you're feeling overpowered,or one partner's making
decisions without you and thatbothers you.
There's several other examples,but that should give you a
start.
The second thing you can do toleverage dominant channels is
acknowledging and accepting eachother's strengths and
(30:52):
weaknesses.
I believe in working with ourstrengths and not working on our
weaknesses.
I've said for many years whywould I want to invest time and
energy on something I am notgood at?
What if I just accept hey, I amnot good at that, let me find
someone that can help me withthat, because they're great at
(31:14):
it and can get it done muchfaster.
It's not something I want tospend time working on.
Unfortunately, society and workculture has created this
mindset of working on yourweaknesses and I am not an
advocate for that, unless it'san area that you want to improve
(31:35):
in.
That's a different story,except that having a dominant
channel doesn't make one personbetter than the other or
superior.
It's about understanding eachother's natural inclinations
rather than pushing each otherto change in ways that are
against each other's nature,pushing each other to change in
(31:57):
ways that are contrary to theirdesign.
For me, this is the number onereason why couples experience
things getting better in theirrelationship for a short while
and then things going back tothe way they were again.
Use this knowledge to balanceinteractions by asking the
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partner with the dominantchannel to guide when their
strengths are needed by you, andyou have to do the asking.
There's a whole section abouthow to make requests and how to
ask in my relationship toolkit.
I will drop a link here in myBetter Relationships toolkit.
(32:41):
I invite you to get a copy ofthe toolkit because it's very
complimentary to human design,and I will be adding a whole
section to the toolkit for humandesign, which you will be able
to get a copy at no additionalcharge.
You can pick up your copy ofthe toolkit by going to toolkit.
(33:02):
drdarhawks.
com.
The third way to leverage eachother's dominant channels is to
create space for expression.
Ensure you both feel heard byconsciously making room for each
other's input, especially whenone tends to dominate, for
(33:24):
example, if you have a dominantchannel.
Practice active listening andinvite your partner's
perspective and opinions andrequests, ask for them and then
include some of the things thatthey have said in the
decision-making or in the pathforward in a collaborative way.
(33:48):
Mutual respect and adaptationis another way to leverage each
other's dominant channels.
Respect each other'scommunication styles and adapt
when necessary.
When you don't feel heard, seen,understood, supported or valued
.
It usually shows up in how youlisten and communicate, the
timing of the communication,your type, your profile and
(34:11):
whether you're including yourpartner in decision making.
Oftentimes partners think thatthey're independent and they go
and make decisions and don'tinform and share with their
partner, thinking it'sinconsequential.
It's their decision to make.
But when you're in arelationship, communication and
sharing is important.
(34:33):
If your partner says, I don'tneed to know that if you're
making decisions about your workor about things that don't
impact us or our relationship orour finances or other areas of
life, you can make an agreementtogether around which areas to
inform and share with each otherand which ones not to.
(34:54):
For the partner with thedominant channel, ensure that
you are communicating frequentlyand asking for your partner's
input.
Be sure you take their inputinto consideration and make
agreements in the path forwardthat are understood and fully
accepted and supported by bothof you, and the path forward
(35:16):
that are understood and fullyaccepted and supported by both
of you.
The fifth way is to have regularcheck-ins.
If you've been listening to mypodcast or been in my world, you
know that I am an advocate forcheck-ins, schedule regular
talks about how yourinteractions and communication
feels for both of you.
When you have theseconversations, they only need to
(35:39):
be five to 10 minutes once aweek where you're talking about
how did we communicate this week?
Did it work for you?
Were there any challenges?
Were there anymisunderstandings?
How can I improve so that weboth feel seen, heard,
understood, valued, loved andsupported?
You can ask these questions toeach other.
(36:03):
Do you feel seen, heard,understood, valued, loved and
supported by me?
Are there any examples,scenarios or areas in our life
together that you don't?
If so, please share them withme so that we can find common
ground and make agreements onhow we will manage those going
forward.
This will help you in adjustingyour approaches with each other
(36:24):
as needed, ensuring thatneither of you feels overwhelmed
or sidelined, and doing this ona regular basis instead of
waiting until something blows upand is this big thing to handle
will actually help you avoidthat from happening and keep it
from happening.
Understanding and leveragingeach other's dominant channels
(36:48):
can truly transform how youcommunicate and cultivate deeper
understanding and connectionwith each other.
Now let's talk about navigatingcompromised channels with
compassionate awareness.
Compromised channels.
In a human design relationship,charts happen when one partner
has a complete channel and theother only has half.
(37:12):
These channels often representpotential areas of friction or
misunderstandings inrelationships.
Here are the potentialchallenges.
When you have a compromisedchannel, there's an imbalance of
power.
The partner with the completechannel could dominate the
(37:33):
relationship, which can lead tofeelings of inadequacy or
frustration.
Miscommunication, differentperspectives can result in
disagreements ormisinterpretations, making
effective communicationdifficult and not feeling seen,
heard or understood.
It can create emotional stress.
(37:56):
The imbalance can causeemotional strain as one partner
might feel undervalued, notsupported and taken for granted.
Here are some strategies fornavigating conflicts through the
wisdom that the compromisechannel gives you.
(38:17):
Implementing compassionateawareness can mitigate the
challenges posed by thecompromise channels.
First, have open dialogue.
Encourage honest conversationsabout how each of you perceives
your energetic interactions.
Remember I said, it's notpersonal, it's just the energy
between the two of you and yourhuman design chart gives you the
(38:42):
themes for what that energy is.
That's something you can workwith together.
Use I statements to expressyour feelings and avoid blaming
language.
Engage in active listening.
Make an effort to trulyunderstand your partner's point
of view.
Reflect back what you hear toensure clarity and mutual
(39:02):
understanding.
Clearly define personal andrelationship boundaries.
That will help you preventoverstepping.
Respect each other's need forspace and individual expression
and each other's boundaries.
Build empathy.
Engage in activities thatpromote empathy, like role
(39:23):
reversal exercises, andconsistently acknowledge and
validate each other's emotionsand experiences instead of
dismissing or disagreeing withthem.
It's much easier to just saywow, I had no idea you felt that
way, thank you for sharing,instead of no, that's not true,
(39:46):
or no, you shouldn't feel thatway, or I'm sorry you feel that
way.
That's my favorite one.
That one creates more argumentsthan I think anything else that
we can say in the moment.
Role reversal exercises involvepartners switching roles to
(40:07):
gain a deeper understanding ofeach other's perspectives and
experiences.
This practice is powerful andit enhances empathy and
communication by allowing eachother to see things from their
partner's point of view and fromtheir partner's experience.
It builds greater awareness,understanding.
(40:30):
It builds greater awareness,understanding, acceptance and
compassion for each other.
An example of role reversal frommy own life and relationship
would be when I was the one thatmowed the grass.
I just really love being outthere and using a push mower,
even though we had a ridingmower.
It gets steps in.
(40:51):
It just feels really good to meto do that, and at the house we
were living in there was asignificant hill in the back in
the front yard.
Well, I hurt my back and myneck and I had incredible
inflammation for several weeksand the grass was pretty tall it
had to be cut.
So my husband went out to usethe push mower.
(41:16):
I think he might have used theriding mower, I don't remember
which, but he recognized this isa care of the yard work.
So I think it's great that hedid that and we continued to
(41:41):
outsource that work, which freedup a lot of time for me to do
things in the house and dothings that were more joyful.
But that's an example to giveyou an idea of how role reversal
works.
He had complete understandingand empathy of what it's like to
take care of the yard work.
By recognizing and addressingcompromised channels with
(42:05):
compassionate awareness, you cantransform potential challenges
into opportunities for growthand deeper connection potential
challenges into opportunitiesfor growth and deeper connection
because you will have theawareness of the energetics in
your individual charts and thatof your relationship.
Now let's talk aboutelectromagnetic channels for
creating a more balancedrelationship.
(42:26):
In a couple's chart,electromagnetic channels show
the specific areas where eachpartner's energies come together
to form a complete channel.
That means you have half andyour partner has the other half
defined.
These channels are importantbecause they reveal how partners
(42:49):
complete each other, promotingbalance and support in the
relationship.
So when it's defined, you willsee you have half colored in and
your partner has the other halfcolored in, creating a complete
channel.
When one partner's reaching gatethat's what I call, when you
(43:10):
have half of the channel or thepath, it's a reaching gate.
The numbers in the geometricshapes on your chart represent
gates that open and close.
You can kind of think of itthat way.
I'm not going to talk aboutthat now.
I'll go into that in anotherpodcast.
But when one partner's reachinggate connects with the other
(43:32):
partner's, it creates a fullelectromagnetic channel.
This interaction brings afeeling of completeness and
cooperation and acceptance.
It's like an ah, we get eachother and it enhances both of
your strengths strengths Inareas such as creativity or
(43:57):
emotional understanding.
These channels lead to improvedcommunication and teamwork.
For example, if one of you isgreat at coming up with the
ideas, while the other one isgreat at putting them into
action, your combined effortswill result in successful
projects and shared goals.
Each end of the channel has itsown strengths and challenges,
which is why electromagneticchannels can be fully
(44:19):
collaborative in creatingresults.
It does require looking at eachother's strengths and
recognizing that if one partnerhas strength A and the other has
strength B not comparing theeffort it takes to do either it
(44:41):
could seem that one partnertakes less time, takes less
effort than the other, but whenyou're leveraging each other's
strengths, you're not looking atit that way.
I invite you to not look at itthat way.
I invite you to look at it fromthe perspective of their energy
, is activating the energy inyou and by doing that, they are
(45:06):
using their strengths to dotheir part and you're using your
strengths to do your part.
Electromagnetic channels oftenhighlight where partners
naturally support and uplifteach other, contributing to a
(45:26):
harmonious relationship dynamic.
They can help you feel seen,heard, understood, valued, loved
and supported within yourpartnership.
While they are beneficialwithin your partnership, while
they are beneficial,electromagnetic channels can
also bring hidden challenges.
If not managed with awareness,the same areas that create
connection could also becomepoints of dependency or even
conflict.
For instance, relying too muchon one partner for emotional
(45:51):
support might put too muchresponsibility and create
weariness for emotionalwell-being on that partner.
Understanding electromagneticchannels allows you to use the
potential for creating energeticharmony while also being
careful about maintainingindividual balance within your
(46:12):
relationship.
Recognizing both the strengthsand challenging aspects will
ensure that you navigate themwhen they show up in your life
with greater understanding,empathy and respect for each
other.
We're going to talk aboutcultivating empathy through
human design insights.
Now, empathy truly is thefoundation of any healthy
(46:36):
relationship.
By understanding and hearingand appreciating your partner's
unique human design energeticpersonality, you can cultivate a
deeper sense of empathy withinyour partnership.
Empathy in relationships allowsyou to connect with your
partner on an emotional level,which many couples crave.
(46:58):
That deeper emotionalconnection.
It involves not justunderstanding their feelings,
but also responding withcompassion and support.
Human design provides acomprehensive understanding of
each person's characteristics,preferences and tendencies.
By familiarizing yourself withyour partner's design, you can
(47:20):
gain insights into their andyour intrinsic motivations and
challenges.
For example, generators mightneed more time to respond to
questions or decisions, whileprojectors may need and require
recognition for theircontributions.
A manifester could appreciatehaving the freedom to initiate
(47:40):
actions without constantinterference, whereas a
reflector might need anenvironment that supports their
reflective and introspectivenature.
This shared understandingbuilds an environment of
patience and support whileminimizing misunderstandings.
Human design insights empowerboth partners to look beyond
(48:01):
superficial behaviors andidentify the underlying design
shaping those actions.
This enhanced empathycontributes to building a
supportive, nurturingrelationship where both
individuals feel acknowledgedand appreciated.
Here are some practicaltechniques to deepen your
(48:25):
emotional bond using humandesign principles.
Engaging in activities togetherbased on your human design
charts can create intimacy andstrengthen your bond.
Here are some practicaltechniques have some chart
reviewing sessions.
Spend time together reviewingeach other's human design charts
(48:47):
with your relationship coach,who uses human design to help
couples and individuals withtheir relationships.
Or you can do this solo andlook online.
There's lots of material.
Sometimes it can be conflictingand you could go down several
rabbit holes.
But if you're a researcher, forexample, or an investigator
(49:10):
type, and you love doing that,then by all means go for it and
remember to use your strategyand authority which I will talk
about in another podcast so thatyou are making decisions about
what resonates for you and whatdoesn't, so that you let go of
what doesn't and keep what does.
(49:31):
As you're doing your research,discuss the unique aspects of
each chart and how they play outin your relationship.
This can lead to deeperunderstanding and appreciation.
Spend time in daily reflection,either through journaling,
where you're writing about yourinteractions and feelings
towards each other andreflecting on how your designs
(49:53):
influence those moments, and youcan share these reflections
with each other weekly,facilitating open communication
and emotional connection.
Anticipate in meditation andvisualization exercises.
Joint meditation, using guidedmeditations that focus on
(50:14):
aligning your energy based onyour charts, is a great way to
connect.
Have visualization exerciseswhere you visualize harmonious
scenarios where both of yourstrengths are highlighted where
both of your strengths arehighlighted.
The next one is role reversalexercises.
(50:35):
These are extremely powerful.
Experiment with swapping rolesor tasks in certain situations
to better understand eachother's perspectives.
For example, if one partnertypically leads conversations
based on a dominant channel, tryallowing the other partner to
take the lead.
(50:56):
Have customized date nights.
Plan activities to cater.
Plan activities that cater toboth partners' types and
profiles.
A generator might enjoy anactive outing, while a projector
might prefer a more relaxed,intimate setting.
The generator can show supportby participating in relaxed,
(51:19):
intimate setting date nights,while the projector can also
enjoy active outings, andalternating those is a healthy
thing to do.
Participate in conflictresolution workshops or hire a
relationship coach that useshuman design to help you make
(51:40):
sense of the conflict veryquickly and work with you to
identify solutions that can beeasy to implement because they
don't go against your nature.
You can also attend workshopsor online courses that offer
tools for conflict resolutiontailored to your human design
types.
Creative collaborations Take onprojects that leverage both
(52:06):
your strengths.
This could be anything from artprojects to planning events
together, but they ensure bothof you feel valued and connected
.
These exercises not onlypromote deeper connection, but
also encourage ongoing personalgrowth in the relationship
framework of human designprinciples.
(52:30):
Now let's talk about nurturingpersonal growth in the
relationship.
Personal growth through humandesign can be a transformative
experience with your partner.
By embracing the lessonsoffered by each other's designs,
you create a space where youboth can thrive, individually
and collectively, individuallyand collectively.
(52:56):
Here are some ways how to beseen, heard, understood and
supported in your relationshipwith human design.
First, recognize each other'sindividual strengths.
Each human design type andprofile has their unique
strengths.
Celebrate these qualities inyour partner and yourself.
Create an environment where youboth feel valued and understood
(53:16):
.
Secondly, embrace thedifferences.
Understand that differences indesign are opportunities for
growth.
They are also opportunities foracceptance and opportunities to
stop trying to change theperson who has the difference,
(53:39):
or them trying to change youbecause it's different.
Embrace the uniqueness you eachhave and bring to the
relationship.
Reflect on how thesedifferences can complement each
other and enhance yourrelationship, on how these
differences can complement eachother and enhance your
relationship.
(53:59):
Thirdly, support each other'sjourney.
Encourage personal developmentby supporting your partner's
human design journey, whetherit's through new hobbies, career
goals or self-improvementactivities.
Being a supportive partner canamplify growth.
Fourthly, communicate openly.
Use insights from your humandesign charts to facilitate open
(54:19):
and honest communication.
Discuss your needs,expectations and boundaries
transparently, because that canlead to mutual understanding and
respect.
And lastly, create shared goals.
Sure, you can have individualgoals, but couples that don't
(54:39):
have shared goals tend to driftapart over time.
So make sure you're regularlycreating shared goals that you
work on on a weekly basistogether.
Align your individual growthpaths with the shared goals.
This creates a sense of unity,while allowing room for
individual and personalachievements, and celebrate the
(55:02):
steps you're taking towards thatgoal.
In addition to accomplishingthe goal, oftentimes I find that
couples and individualscelebrate once they've
accomplished the goal, but notthe journey they took to get
there.
Also, when you're on the pathtowards a goal, talk about the
(55:22):
challenges along the way.
Your partner just might havestrengths that you don't.
In helping you bring themforward and into fruition and
reality, by focusing on theseaspects, you nurture not only
the relationship but also yourpersonal growth and, lastly,
participate in continuousexploration.
(55:42):
It really is the journeytowards harmonious co-creation
with your partner, using yourhuman design as a guide.
Applying human design principlesin relationships is an ongoing
process that requires dedicationfrom both of you.
Make a commitment tounderstanding and leveraging
your human design and yourrelationship chart so that you
(56:08):
can have deeper connection andmutual growth.
Seek professional support whenneeded.
Human design coaching sessionsfocused on using human design
tools can offer valuableinsights into how to be seen,
heard, understood and supportedin your relationship.
Use resources like this freehuman design connection chart
(56:33):
and the report that I willprovide you with at no charge to
continuously explore yourrelationship dynamics.
You can go get your chart atchartdrdarhawkscom
wwwdrdarhawkscom.
Navigating through your humandesign relationship journey
(56:56):
together enriches both personaland joint experiences, fostering
a harmonious co-creation.
Embrace the continuousexploration of human design and
(57:25):
relationships for a thrivingpartnership.
If you're interested inlearning more about human design
for the betterment of yourrelationship, please contact me
to get your questions answeredor for a dive into your charts.
I am here for you.
I love human design.
I'm still learning as I sharewith you and we will learn
together as we take a dive intoyour charts.
Contact me by going todrdarhawkscom and click on the
(57:50):
contact link on the top rightand you can send me an email or
schedule some time on mycalendar for a discovery session
.
I hope this was insightful toyou, intriguing and you learn
more about human design, and Ilook forward to connecting with
you in a discovery session or inthe next podcast.
Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast.
I'm Dr Dar, the RelationshipHealer, and today I want to
share about a tool that Iabsolutely love using to help
compassionate, heart-centeredwomen and their partners have a
better relationship by lookingat the energetics of their
(00:20):
interactions instead of lookingat the person and what's wrong
with them.
Today's topic is 10 ways tobetter your relationship using
human design.
Human design serves as apowerful tool for understanding
how to be seen, heard,understood, valued, loved and
(00:44):
supported in your relationship,and not just the one with your
partner pretty much all yourrelationships.
By analyzing human designcharts, I have found that you
can uncover the dynamics thatactually shape the interactions
between you and your partner.
It's an energetic personalitytool that provides guidance into
(01:07):
your unique personality andthat of your partner and of the
relationship, because when youget into a relationship, there
is another identity that getscreated that is often times
taken for granted or not paidattention to, and that's what I
(01:27):
call relationship dynamics.
Human design is an energeticmap showing you who you are and
how you operate in yourrelationships and in your
environments.
It combines modern day quantumphysics with ancient modalities
(01:50):
of astrology, the JewishKabbalah, the Hindu chakra
system and the Chinese I Ching.
There's a lot more to it, butwhat I really love about it is
how it is holistic.
It brings many communities andmany traditions and many
(02:11):
methodologies from all over theworld together into one system,
and for me that is very unifying.
Put together into one systemcalled human design.
This personality tool createsacceptance for you by leaning
(02:31):
into and recognizing who you areat the core of your being, with
that feeling of being welcomedhome to your true self home to
your true self.
When you comprehend howdifferent energetic bodies
interact, you can navigate yourrelationships with greater
empathy and awareness by usinghuman design with individuals
(02:57):
and couples.
I have seen that we tend toattract people into our lives
based on who we're not.
That saying opposites attractis energetically a thing, like
it's really a thing.
(03:18):
But what happens is when we getattracted to other people based
on who we are not and based onwho they are showing up as,
because they're also behaving inmany ways as who they're not,
we then create problems becausewe're not seeing who we truly
(03:43):
are and owning who we truly areand owning who we truly are.
So in this article, I'm goingto explore 10 practical ways to
enhance your relationship usinginsights from human design.
I invite you to dive into thesestrategies to better understand
yourself and your partner.
To create a more harmoniousconnection.
(04:05):
Let's start with understandingyour own human design type.
Recognizing and embodying yourown human design energy type is
the first step in bettering yourrelationship dynamics.
Each type has uniquecharacteristics that influence
how you approach relationshipsand how you interact with your
(04:26):
partner.
Understanding, accepting andsupporting each other's
uniqueness or differences ineach other's energetic type and
that of your relationship willabsolutely help you have a
better relationship.
Before I provide you with abreakdown of each type, let me
(04:48):
share with you how you can findout what your type is, your
energetic type is.
You can click the button andyou will go to a page that will
ask you for your name, yourbirth date and where you were
born and the time of your birth.
(05:09):
That information is used tocalculate and create your human
design chart.
It will give you what your typeis and a lot more information
that I'll be going through hereAfter you've read this article
and go grab your chart and thencome back to this article to
(05:32):
help you assess and understandyour chart a bit better, based
on the details I provide here.
The first energy type is agenerator.
They are known for theirconsistent energy and enthusiasm
.
They have fuel to keep goingand going and going.
(05:54):
It's pretty amazing to be ingenerator.
Energy Generators thrive inrelationships where there's
mutual excitement and engagementrelationships where there's
mutual excitement and engagement.
They look for partners whoappreciate their vitality and,
at times, who can match theirlevel of activity.
You might be able to tell, as Ishare more about the other
(06:15):
types, that when a generator orany of the types gets into a
relationship with someone of adifferent energy type, there's
collaboration and communicationthat needs to occur and a lot of
acceptance and supporting eachother's energy type.
(06:36):
Projectors excel at guiding andleading and managing others In
relationships.
They value recognition andappreciation from their partners
that actually lights them upand gets them motivated and into
action.
They also often need way morerest and downtime, which
(06:57):
requires understanding andsupport from their significant
other.
Manifestors are naturalinitiators and leaders.
They prefer relationships thatallow them autonomy and freedom
to act on their impulses.
Partners to manifestors reallyneed to respect their need for
(07:19):
independence and their need tojust go and get stuff done or go
and do something when thethought shows up and when the
impulses show up and providesupport to their manifestor
partners in understanding whothey are and their need for
(07:40):
autonomy and freedom.
The fourth type is a manifestinggenerator.
Manifesting generators are ablend of generators and
manifestors combining theability to respond to life with
the power to initiate actions.
In relationships, manifestinggenerators need partners who can
(08:04):
keep up with their dynamic,energy and adaptability, or who
support it.
They value flexibility andspontaneity, needing both
freedom and stability from theirpartners.
This type is that of areflector.
Reflectors have a uniqueability to mirror their
(08:25):
environment.
In relationships.
They provide incredible,profound insights, but also
require stability andconsistency from their partners
to feel safe and secure.
Their well-being is closelytied to the harmony of their
surroundings and theirenvironments closely tied to the
(08:48):
harmony of their surroundingsand their environments.
So, if you're in a relationshipwith a reflector, creating
healthy, harmonious environmentsand surroundings and space is
important From my perspective.
There's also a sixth type andit's that of a relationship.
It is a sixth energy type thatgets created from the
(09:10):
combination of two or morepeople's energetics that does
not have a type or a name in andof itself, but will give you
insights into areas of magnetismbetween the people, areas of
magnetism between the people,areas where compromise is needed
, ways to know how to leverageeach other's strengths and what
(09:32):
those are, cautions as to wheredominating, controlling or
manipulating behaviors couldoccur, and areas of harmonic
compatibility.
To me, the energetics betweentwo people is very much like
dancing.
You want to be in sync in howyou're communicating more often
(09:53):
than not, so that dancing isfluid and joyful.
You feel like you and yourpartner fit well together and
belong together when you're inflow well together and belong
together when you're in flowwhen you're dancing.
And you want to be able tolearn the steps and body
positions when you're not insync, so that you get better
(10:14):
together in that dance.
That's what human design can dofor you and your relationship.
The second thing I want to sharewith you is about decoding you
and your partner's human designprofile.
Human design profiles are anadditional layer to your
energetic personality thatshapes how relationships work.
(10:37):
Each profile is identified bynumbers like a 1 and a 3 or a 4
and a 6.
Is identified by numbers like a1 and a 3 or a 4 and a 6.
The profile represents a mix ofpersonality traits and life
themes.
When two profiles join togetherin a relationship, it creates
(10:57):
additional strengths andchallenges that can arise.
The beauty of human design isit gives you the awareness of
these strengths and challengesahead of time or when you're in
the midst of a relationship,wanting to understand your
strengths and challenges andlearn to leverage each other's
(11:18):
strengths and collaborate tosupport each other with the
challenges that show up, throughan understanding of it's not
personal, it's not aboutsomething wrong with either of
you, and that it's just theenergetics between you and that
you can work on that, you canwork with that, you can work
(11:39):
together to figure out how tosolve it.
Now I'm going to share with youthe key profiles and their
dynamics One and three.
The archetype is theinvestigator that goes with the
one and the martyr that goeswith the three.
The strengths are that they aredeep researchers and they're
(12:00):
extremely resilient in problemsolving.
They may actually very well beproblem and solution focused.
The challenges of the one inthree is that they can take a
while to make decisions becauseof the need for research.
They can also be overlycautious and self-critical.
(12:21):
So if you're in a relationshipwith a one in three, give them
time to research, accept thattheir problem-solving nature is
a gift and notice when they'rebeing overly cautious.
Help them and support them byreducing or eliminating risk or
(12:47):
helping them with the researchso that they feel more
comfortable and safe.
If you're noticing that they'rebeing self-critical, have a
dialogue with them to help themsee that what they're critical
about may or may not be true.
Give them examples of whatthey're criticizing themselves
for, where they've demonstratedthe opposite or where they've
(13:10):
demonstrated that what they'recriticizing themselves for
really isn't the case, becauseyou can provide them with
examples showing otherwise.
The next profile is the four andthe six.
The next profile is the fourand the six.
They are represented by thearchetype of the opportunist,
(13:32):
with the four and the six is therole model.
Their strengths are naturalleaders by example.
They excel in networking andcommunity building.
They really are about bringingpeople together and finding
common ground.
I am a 4-6.
A challenge that they deal withis that they may struggle with
finding a balance between theirpersonal aspirations and the
(13:54):
societal roles that they servein.
Helping them find equality andembrace reciprocity would be a
really great thing.
If you're in a relationshipwith a four and a six, assisting
them and working on yourself tobecome more of a role model and
(14:15):
leading by example, will go along way if you're in a
relationship with a four and asix.
The next one is a two and a fourthe archetypes of hermit and
opportunist.
Their strengths are that theyhave natural talents that
flourish in the rightenvironment.
They are strong socialconnectors when, and only when,
(14:39):
they choose to engage.
One of their challenges is thatthey need alone time, and that
can be misunderstood asaloofness.
They also may have difficultybalancing solitude and social
interaction.
If you're in a relationshipwith a two and four, recognize
(14:59):
them for their natural talents,help them create the right
environments and assist themwith creating balance between
their need for alone time andcoming out into the world,
spending time with you and withyour community.
The next one is a three five.
(15:19):
The three represents the martyrand the five the heretic.
Their strengths are that theyare practical problem solvers,
they are adaptable and they'realways coming up with innovative
and transformative ideas.
One of the challenges with that, though, is they can be seen as
(15:41):
disruptive or unpredictable,and they could face resistance
when presenting new concepts.
If you're in a relationshipwith a three and five, know that
they are transformation agentsand they are here to solve
problems and createtransformation.
(16:02):
So when they are interruptingor breaking things or saying
things to create disruption,know that it's not personal.
Know that they're just lookingto create change and make things
better.
You may not see that there's aneed for that and communicating
(16:24):
in a way that lets them know.
Hey, I really appreciate yousharing this idea and I think
it's really great.
However, I don't see a problemwith where we are right now.
Can you share with me whatyou're seeing so that I can
better understand this newconcept you're sharing?
That creates a healthy dialogue, so that you can better
(16:45):
understand where they're comingfrom, and you may surprise
yourself.
You may take on some of thethings that they're sharing and
you may not, and that'scompletely okay too.
What matters is how you bothcommunicate through it.
The next profile is the 5-1.
It's the heretic and theinvestigator.
Their strengths are that theyare visionary thinkers who can
(17:09):
influence others through and intheir research and preparation.
A challenge is that they haveextremely high expectations from
themselves and, consequently,from others, and that can lead
to immense disappointment.
They can also become isolatedbecause of intense focus on
their goals.
If you're in a relationshipwith a 5-1, support their
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visionary thinking, supporttheir research and preparation
needs and help them communicatetheir expectations to you,
because oftentimes they havethese high expectations from
themselves and others, butthey're not communicating them
and they're not creatingagreement, and so that's why
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they get disappointed, becauseif it's in your head, people
don't know about it and theycan't help them get their needs
met.
So talking about needs, talkingabout the expectations, on an
ongoing basis is a healthy thingto do with a 5-1.
Also, help them find balance bycreating scheduled time where
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they're not isolated, focusingon their goals.
They may resist that at first,but help them understand that
it's actually for their benefit,so that they can take a break
from their goals and a breakfrom what they're wanting to
create, and a break from theirresearch and preparation,
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because that's going to helpthem rest and rejuvenate and
also gain interactions fromothers, which is actually going
to give them information in someway to help forward their goals
.
The next profile is the 6-2.
It's the role model and thehermit.
Their strengths are that theylead by example, with wisdom and
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integrity.
They have a blend of visionaryleadership and deep
introspection.
A challenge, though, is thatthey can struggle with feeling
misunderstood or isolated.
Helping them learn how to andfor you to create some sort of
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schedule with them that helpsthem balance their public life
with their need for solitudewill go a long way, and
supporting them so that theyhave their solitary time
uninterrupted is also a veryhealthy thing to do.
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Now I want to go throughcomplementary and challenging
pairings.
These are just examples.
They're not absolutes, they'renot always true.
I just want to give you anexample so that you can better
understand how profiles give youadditional information about
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how a relationship works ordoesn't work.
Here's a complementary exampleA 1-3 profile paired with a 4-6
can create a relationshipdynamic where the investigator
deeply explores solutions whilethe role model brings those
solutions into the community.
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It requires collaboration andleveraging each of the profile's
strengths.
Here's a challenging exampleTwo profiles with strong
leadership traits, such as a 4-6with another 4-6, can face
power struggles unless theydevelop mutual respect for each
(20:54):
other's strengths.
Understanding the profiles, asI've explained them earlier,
will help you navigaterelationship compatibility by
appreciating how differentcharacteristics interact.
Recognizing that bothcomplementary aspects and
potential challenges actuallyhelps you and enables you to
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create a harmonious, happy andhealthy relationship.
And here's why, most of thetime when we're in relationships
and the challenges happen, wecomplain, we criticize, we judge
.
We don't really understand themechanics behind those
challenges, and human designwill give you that.
It will also show you what yourstrengths are in that challenge
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and then you can start talkingabout your partner strengths and
your strengths and where thechallenge is creating an issue
for the two of you.
And from that conversation it'snot personal, no one's getting
defensive, no one's judging eachother.
You're looking at your humandesign and the energetics and
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you're like, okay, well, nowthat we know that this is going
on, what can we do to resolve it?
For us, maybe it's the partnerthat has the strength in that
area takes the accountabilityand handles it.
Partner that has the strengthin that area takes the
accountability and handles it,and you ask them to just keep
you informed and updated on aregular basis, or vice versa.
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There are many ways to resolvechallenges once you understand
the mechanics and the energeticsof it.
The next thing I want to sharewith you about a human design
chart is about exploring definedand open centers in your
individual charts, but also inyour relationship chart that
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shows the energetics of you andyour partner together in one
chart.
Defined and open centers arecrucial parts truly, truly of a
human design chart thatsignificantly affects how you
interact and connect with yourpartner.
So what are defined and opencenters?
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Defined centers are areaswithin the chart that show
consistent energy patterns andthemes.
They represent aspects of yourpersonality that are stable and
reliable.
You can always count on them.
Conversely, open centers lackfixed characteristics and are
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more susceptible to externalinfluence, making them areas
where you can absorb and magnifyenergy from others.
These are the areas in yourenergetic personality that are
unreliable.
They are inconsistent.
So when you've had days whereyou feel like you're not
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grounded or you're unclear andyou feel like you're all over
the place, it could be thatyou're picking up energy from
outside of yourself andresponding to it or reacting to
it.
I didn't explain what a centeris, so let me do that now.
When you look at a human designchart, there are nine geometric
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shapes consisting of squaresand triangles.
Each of those shapes is calledan energy center.
Now I want to talk about thesignificance of human design
when it comes to yourrelationships.
Understanding these centers isbeneficial for how to be seen,
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heard, understood, valued, lovedand supported in your
relationship, and here's someexamples of how they impact
various aspects of yourpartnership.
The first one is communicationstyles With a defined throat
center.
If you or your partner havethis center defined,
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communication is clear andexpressive.
The person with the definedthroat center might lead
conversations very naturally.
Someone with an open throatcenter, though, might struggle
with being heard.
They will often adapt theircommunication style based on who
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they're interacting with.
The throat center can be foundby looking at your human design
chart, and it's the third squarefrom the top, so you'll have
two triangles at the top, andthen the next one is the throat
center.
When it comes to emotionaldynamics, having a defined solar
plexus indicates a consistentemotional experience.
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This means that yourpredictable emotional responses
are a gift and that you processand learn through how you feel.
Through how you feel, peoplewith an open solar plexus are
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more likely to absorb andamplify the emotions of others,
which leads to heightenedsensitivity and emotional ups
and downs.
The solar plexus is representedby the rightmost triangle at
the bottom of the chart.
At the bottom of the chart.
Next is compatibility arelationship where one partner
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has defined centers while theother has corresponding open
centers and possibly create acomplementary dynamic.
The defined partner providesstability to their partner,
while the open partner offersadaptability and flexibility.
That in and of itself, iscomplementary, but this is also
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where issues can occur.
Here's an example If you have adefined heart center, which is
represented by the smalltriangle towards the middle of
the chart on the right-hand side, if you have a defined heart
center which indicates aconsistent sense of self-worth,
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motivation and willpower, andyour partner has an open heart
center, which creates variableself-esteem, motivation and
willpower, when you understandthis, it can help you support
each other better.
The issue, though, is that mostcouples don't know about human
design and we're reacting toeach other in day-to-day
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interactions at a personal level, at a what's wrong level, and
how can I fix my partner or howcan I make them change.
But when you look at humandesign and understand each
other's charts, you then havesomething to work with.
You then have something that'saccepting of each other's energy
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and nature, and you then cancreate common ground and find
solutions, not from a problemmindset, but from a human design
and relationship mindset.
Exploring these energeticdynamics allows you and your
partner to navigate yourinteractions with greater
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empathy and awareness.
Now let's talk about leveragingdominant channels for effective
communication.
A channel is shown in yourchart by the pathways that
connect the geometric shapes toeach other, and you can have
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open or defined channels.
Dominant channels play a crucialrole in shaping communication
patterns within relationships.
When one partner has a definedchannel that the other does not,
it creates a dynamic where theperson with the defined channel
tends to lead or dominate andtake over in conversations or
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other areas of interaction.
When you understand thedominant channels in your charts
, then you and your partner canstart navigating communication
more effectively.
Here are some tips on how toleverage your dominant channels.
First, identify them.
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Use your human designrelationship chart to pinpoint
which channels are dominant inyour relationship.
If you pinpoint which channelsare dominant in your
relationship, when you click thebutton to create your chart,
you will need to create your ownchart, create your partner's
chart and then create theconnection or the relationship
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chart, so you will have threeviews of the charts.
Once you've done that, you canstart to recognize where one
partner consistently takes thelead and you can discuss whether
or not this causes issues inyour relationship.
You can then make agreementswhere collaboration and
communication is needed.
In those areas, along withthose that you both agree, one
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partner is trusted to manage,with or without updating the
other partner.
A clue for when to look for thedominance in the relationship is
when you're running intoresistance or you're frustrated
or you don't feel like you'vegot choice or freedom.
It's usually when you havethese emotional ups and downs or
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something feels off in therelationship that's usually
place to look.
Or you're feeling overpowered,or one partner's making
decisions without you and thatbothers you.
There's several other examples,but that should give you a
start.
The second thing you can do toleverage dominant channels is
acknowledging and accepting eachother's strengths and
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weaknesses.
I believe in working with ourstrengths and not working on our
weaknesses.
I've said for many years whywould I want to invest time and
energy on something I am notgood at?
What if I just accept hey, I amnot good at that, let me find
someone that can help me withthat, because they're great at
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it and can get it done muchfaster.
It's not something I want tospend time working on.
Unfortunately, society and workculture has created this
mindset of working on yourweaknesses and I am not an
advocate for that, unless it'san area that you want to improve
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in.
That's a different story,except that having a dominant
channel doesn't make one personbetter than the other or
superior.
It's about understanding eachother's natural inclinations
rather than pushing each otherto change in ways that are
against each other's nature,pushing each other to change in
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ways that are contrary to theirdesign.
For me, this is the number onereason why couples experience
things getting better in theirrelationship for a short while
and then things going back tothe way they were again.
Use this knowledge to balanceinteractions by asking the
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partner with the dominantchannel to guide when their
strengths are needed by you, andyou have to do the asking.
There's a whole section abouthow to make requests and how to
ask in my relationship toolkit.
I will drop a link here in myBetter Relationships toolkit.
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I invite you to get a copy ofthe toolkit because it's very
complimentary to human design,and I will be adding a whole
section to the toolkit for humandesign, which you will be able
to get a copy at no additionalcharge.
You can pick up your copy ofthe toolkit by going to toolkit.
(33:02):
drdarhawks.
com.
The third way to leverage eachother's dominant channels is to
create space for expression.
Ensure you both feel heard byconsciously making room for each
other's input, especially whenone tends to dominate, for
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example, if you have a dominantchannel.
Practice active listening andinvite your partner's
perspective and opinions andrequests, ask for them and then
include some of the things thatthey have said in the
decision-making or in the pathforward in a collaborative way.
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Mutual respect and adaptationis another way to leverage each
other's dominant channels.
Respect each other'scommunication styles and adapt
when necessary.
When you don't feel heard, seen,understood, supported or valued
.
It usually shows up in how youlisten and communicate, the
timing of the communication,your type, your profile and
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whether you're including yourpartner in decision making.
Oftentimes partners think thatthey're independent and they go
and make decisions and don'tinform and share with their
partner, thinking it'sinconsequential.
It's their decision to make.
But when you're in arelationship, communication and
sharing is important.
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If your partner says, I don'tneed to know that if you're
making decisions about your workor about things that don't
impact us or our relationship orour finances or other areas of
life, you can make an agreementtogether around which areas to
inform and share with each otherand which ones not to.
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For the partner with thedominant channel, ensure that
you are communicating frequentlyand asking for your partner's
input.
Be sure you take their inputinto consideration and make
agreements in the path forwardthat are understood and fully
accepted and supported by bothof you, and the path forward
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that are understood and fullyaccepted and supported by both
of you.
The fifth way is to have regularcheck-ins.
If you've been listening to mypodcast or been in my world, you
know that I am an advocate forcheck-ins, schedule regular
talks about how yourinteractions and communication
feels for both of you.
When you have theseconversations, they only need to
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be five to 10 minutes once aweek where you're talking about
how did we communicate this week?
Did it work for you?
Were there any challenges?
Were there anymisunderstandings?
How can I improve so that weboth feel seen, heard,
understood, valued, loved andsupported?
You can ask these questions toeach other.
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Do you feel seen, heard,understood, valued, loved and
supported by me?
Are there any examples,scenarios or areas in our life
together that you don't?
If so, please share them withme so that we can find common
ground and make agreements onhow we will manage those going
forward.
This will help you in adjustingyour approaches with each other
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as needed, ensuring thatneither of you feels overwhelmed
or sidelined, and doing this ona regular basis instead of
waiting until something blows upand is this big thing to handle
will actually help you avoidthat from happening and keep it
from happening.
Understanding and leveragingeach other's dominant channels
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can truly transform how youcommunicate and cultivate deeper
understanding and connectionwith each other.
Now let's talk about navigatingcompromised channels with
compassionate awareness.
Compromised channels.
In a human design relationship,charts happen when one partner
has a complete channel and theother only has half.
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These channels often representpotential areas of friction or
misunderstandings inrelationships.
Here are the potentialchallenges.
When you have a compromisedchannel, there's an imbalance of
power.
The partner with the completechannel could dominate the
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relationship, which can lead tofeelings of inadequacy or
frustration.
Miscommunication, differentperspectives can result in
disagreements ormisinterpretations, making
effective communicationdifficult and not feeling seen,
heard or understood.
It can create emotional stress.
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The imbalance can causeemotional strain as one partner
might feel undervalued, notsupported and taken for granted.
Here are some strategies fornavigating conflicts through the
wisdom that the compromisechannel gives you.
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Implementing compassionateawareness can mitigate the
challenges posed by thecompromise channels.
First, have open dialogue.
Encourage honest conversationsabout how each of you perceives
your energetic interactions.
Remember I said, it's notpersonal, it's just the energy
between the two of you and yourhuman design chart gives you the
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themes for what that energy is.
That's something you can workwith together.
Use I statements to expressyour feelings and avoid blaming
language.
Engage in active listening.
Make an effort to trulyunderstand your partner's point
of view.
Reflect back what you hear toensure clarity and mutual
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understanding.
Clearly define personal andrelationship boundaries.
That will help you preventoverstepping.
Respect each other's need forspace and individual expression
and each other's boundaries.
Build empathy.
Engage in activities thatpromote empathy, like role
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reversal exercises, andconsistently acknowledge and
validate each other's emotionsand experiences instead of
dismissing or disagreeing withthem.
It's much easier to just saywow, I had no idea you felt that
way, thank you for sharing,instead of no, that's not true,
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or no, you shouldn't feel thatway, or I'm sorry you feel that
way.
That's my favorite one.
That one creates more argumentsthan I think anything else that
we can say in the moment.
Role reversal exercises involvepartners switching roles to
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gain a deeper understanding ofeach other's perspectives and
experiences.
This practice is powerful andit enhances empathy and
communication by allowing eachother to see things from their
partner's point of view and fromtheir partner's experience.
It builds greater awareness,understanding.
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It builds greater awareness,understanding, acceptance and
compassion for each other.
An example of role reversal frommy own life and relationship
would be when I was the one thatmowed the grass.
I just really love being outthere and using a push mower,
even though we had a ridingmower.
It gets steps in.
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It just feels really good to meto do that, and at the house we
were living in there was asignificant hill in the back in
the front yard.
Well, I hurt my back and myneck and I had incredible
inflammation for several weeksand the grass was pretty tall it
had to be cut.
So my husband went out to usethe push mower.
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I think he might have used theriding mower, I don't remember
which, but he recognized this isa care of the yard work.
So I think it's great that hedid that and we continued to
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outsource that work, which freedup a lot of time for me to do
things in the house and dothings that were more joyful.
But that's an example to giveyou an idea of how role reversal
works.
He had complete understandingand empathy of what it's like to
take care of the yard work.
By recognizing and addressingcompromised channels with
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compassionate awareness, you cantransform potential challenges
into opportunities for growthand deeper connection potential
challenges into opportunitiesfor growth and deeper connection
because you will have theawareness of the energetics in
your individual charts and thatof your relationship.
Now let's talk aboutelectromagnetic channels for
creating a more balancedrelationship.
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In a couple's chart,electromagnetic channels show
the specific areas where eachpartner's energies come together
to form a complete channel.
That means you have half andyour partner has the other half
defined.
These channels are importantbecause they reveal how partners
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complete each other, promotingbalance and support in the
relationship.
So when it's defined, you willsee you have half colored in and
your partner has the other halfcolored in, creating a complete
channel.
When one partner's reaching gatethat's what I call, when you
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have half of the channel or thepath, it's a reaching gate.
The numbers in the geometricshapes on your chart represent
gates that open and close.
You can kind of think of itthat way.
I'm not going to talk aboutthat now.
I'll go into that in anotherpodcast.
But when one partner's reachinggate connects with the other
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partner's, it creates a fullelectromagnetic channel.
This interaction brings afeeling of completeness and
cooperation and acceptance.
It's like an ah, we get eachother and it enhances both of
your strengths strengths Inareas such as creativity or
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emotional understanding.
These channels lead to improvedcommunication and teamwork.
For example, if one of you isgreat at coming up with the
ideas, while the other one isgreat at putting them into
action, your combined effortswill result in successful
projects and shared goals.
Each end of the channel has itsown strengths and challenges,
which is why electromagneticchannels can be fully
(44:19):
collaborative in creatingresults.
It does require looking at eachother's strengths and
recognizing that if one partnerhas strength A and the other has
strength B not comparing theeffort it takes to do either it
(44:41):
could seem that one partnertakes less time, takes less
effort than the other, but whenyou're leveraging each other's
strengths, you're not looking atit that way.
I invite you to not look at itthat way.
I invite you to look at it fromthe perspective of their energy
, is activating the energy inyou and by doing that, they are
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using their strengths to dotheir part and you're using your
strengths to do your part.
Electromagnetic channels oftenhighlight where partners
naturally support and uplifteach other, contributing to a
(45:26):
harmonious relationship dynamic.
They can help you feel seen,heard, understood, valued, loved
and supported within yourpartnership.
While they are beneficialwithin your partnership, while
they are beneficial,electromagnetic channels can
also bring hidden challenges.
If not managed with awareness,the same areas that create
connection could also becomepoints of dependency or even
conflict.
For instance, relying too muchon one partner for emotional
(45:51):
support might put too muchresponsibility and create
weariness for emotionalwell-being on that partner.
Understanding electromagneticchannels allows you to use the
potential for creating energeticharmony while also being
careful about maintainingindividual balance within your
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relationship.
Recognizing both the strengthsand challenging aspects will
ensure that you navigate themwhen they show up in your life
with greater understanding,empathy and respect for each
other.
We're going to talk aboutcultivating empathy through
human design insights.
Now, empathy truly is thefoundation of any healthy
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relationship.
By understanding and hearingand appreciating your partner's
unique human design energeticpersonality, you can cultivate a
deeper sense of empathy withinyour partnership.
Empathy in relationships allowsyou to connect with your
partner on an emotional level,which many couples crave.
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That deeper emotionalconnection.
It involves not justunderstanding their feelings,
but also responding withcompassion and support.
Human design provides acomprehensive understanding of
each person's characteristics,preferences and tendencies.
By familiarizing yourself withyour partner's design, you can
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gain insights into their andyour intrinsic motivations and
challenges.
For example, generators mightneed more time to respond to
questions or decisions, whileprojectors may need and require
recognition for theircontributions.
A manifester could appreciatehaving the freedom to initiate
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actions without constantinterference, whereas a
reflector might need anenvironment that supports their
reflective and introspectivenature.
This shared understandingbuilds an environment of
patience and support whileminimizing misunderstandings.
Human design insights empowerboth partners to look beyond
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superficial behaviors andidentify the underlying design
shaping those actions.
This enhanced empathycontributes to building a
supportive, nurturingrelationship where both
individuals feel acknowledgedand appreciated.
Here are some practicaltechniques to deepen your
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emotional bond using humandesign principles.
Engaging in activities togetherbased on your human design
charts can create intimacy andstrengthen your bond.
Here are some practicaltechniques have some chart
reviewing sessions.
Spend time together reviewingeach other's human design charts
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with your relationship coach,who uses human design to help
couples and individuals withtheir relationships.
Or you can do this solo andlook online.
There's lots of material.
Sometimes it can be conflictingand you could go down several
rabbit holes.
But if you're a researcher, forexample, or an investigator
(49:10):
type, and you love doing that,then by all means go for it and
remember to use your strategyand authority which I will talk
about in another podcast so thatyou are making decisions about
what resonates for you and whatdoesn't, so that you let go of
what doesn't and keep what does.
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As you're doing your research,discuss the unique aspects of
each chart and how they play outin your relationship.
This can lead to deeperunderstanding and appreciation.
Spend time in daily reflection,either through journaling,
where you're writing about yourinteractions and feelings
towards each other andreflecting on how your designs
(49:53):
influence those moments, and youcan share these reflections
with each other weekly,facilitating open communication
and emotional connection.
Anticipate in meditation andvisualization exercises.
Joint meditation, using guidedmeditations that focus on
(50:14):
aligning your energy based onyour charts, is a great way to
connect.
Have visualization exerciseswhere you visualize harmonious
scenarios where both of yourstrengths are highlighted where
both of your strengths arehighlighted.
The next one is role reversalexercises.
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These are extremely powerful.
Experiment with swapping rolesor tasks in certain situations
to better understand eachother's perspectives.
For example, if one partnertypically leads conversations
based on a dominant channel, tryallowing the other partner to
take the lead.
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Have customized date nights.
Plan activities to cater.
Plan activities that cater toboth partners' types and
profiles.
A generator might enjoy anactive outing, while a projector
might prefer a more relaxed,intimate setting.
The generator can show supportby participating in relaxed,
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intimate setting date nights,while the projector can also
enjoy active outings, andalternating those is a healthy
thing to do.
Participate in conflictresolution workshops or hire a
relationship coach that useshuman design to help you make
(51:40):
sense of the conflict veryquickly and work with you to
identify solutions that can beeasy to implement because they
don't go against your nature.
You can also attend workshopsor online courses that offer
tools for conflict resolutiontailored to your human design
types.
Creative collaborations Take onprojects that leverage both
(52:06):
your strengths.
This could be anything from artprojects to planning events
together, but they ensure bothof you feel valued and connected
.
These exercises not onlypromote deeper connection, but
also encourage ongoing personalgrowth in the relationship
framework of human designprinciples.
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Now let's talk about nurturingpersonal growth in the
relationship.
Personal growth through humandesign can be a transformative
experience with your partner.
By embracing the lessonsoffered by each other's designs,
you create a space where youboth can thrive, individually
and collectively, individuallyand collectively.
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Here are some ways how to beseen, heard, understood and
supported in your relationshipwith human design.
First, recognize each other'sindividual strengths.
Each human design type andprofile has their unique
strengths.
Celebrate these qualities inyour partner and yourself.
Create an environment where youboth feel valued and understood
(53:16):
.
Secondly, embrace thedifferences.
Understand that differences indesign are opportunities for
growth.
They are also opportunities foracceptance and opportunities to
stop trying to change theperson who has the difference,
(53:39):
or them trying to change youbecause it's different.
Embrace the uniqueness you eachhave and bring to the
relationship.
Reflect on how thesedifferences can complement each
other and enhance yourrelationship, on how these
differences can complement eachother and enhance your
relationship.
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Thirdly, support each other'sjourney.
Encourage personal developmentby supporting your partner's
human design journey, whetherit's through new hobbies, career
goals or self-improvementactivities.
Being a supportive partner canamplify growth.
Fourthly, communicate openly.
Use insights from your humandesign charts to facilitate open
(54:19):
and honest communication.
Discuss your needs,expectations and boundaries
transparently, because that canlead to mutual understanding and
respect.
And lastly, create shared goals.
Sure, you can have individualgoals, but couples that don't
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have shared goals tend to driftapart over time.
So make sure you're regularlycreating shared goals that you
work on on a weekly basistogether.
Align your individual growthpaths with the shared goals.
This creates a sense of unity,while allowing room for
individual and personalachievements, and celebrate the
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steps you're taking towards thatgoal.
In addition to accomplishingthe goal, oftentimes I find that
couples and individualscelebrate once they've
accomplished the goal, but notthe journey they took to get
there.
Also, when you're on the pathtowards a goal, talk about the
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challenges along the way.
Your partner just might havestrengths that you don't.
In helping you bring themforward and into fruition and
reality, by focusing on theseaspects, you nurture not only
the relationship but also yourpersonal growth and, lastly,
participate in continuousexploration.
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It really is the journeytowards harmonious co-creation
with your partner, using yourhuman design as a guide.
Applying human design principlesin relationships is an ongoing
process that requires dedicationfrom both of you.
Make a commitment tounderstanding and leveraging
your human design and yourrelationship chart so that you
(56:08):
can have deeper connection andmutual growth.
Seek professional support whenneeded.
Human design coaching sessionsfocused on using human design
tools can offer valuableinsights into how to be seen,
heard, understood and supportedin your relationship.
Use resources like this freehuman design connection chart
(56:33):
and the report that I willprovide you with at no charge to
continuously explore yourrelationship dynamics.
You can go get your chart atchartdrdarhawkscom
wwwdrdarhawkscom.
Navigating through your humandesign relationship journey
(56:56):
together enriches both personaland joint experiences, fostering
a harmonious co-creation.
Embrace the continuousexploration of human design and
(57:25):
relationships for a thrivingpartnership.
If you're interested inlearning more about human design
for the betterment of yourrelationship, please contact me
to get your questions answeredor for a dive into your charts.
I am here for you.
I love human design.
I'm still learning as I sharewith you and we will learn
together as we take a dive intoyour charts.
Contact me by going todrdarhawkscom and click on the
(57:50):
contact link on the top rightand you can send me an email or
schedule some time on mycalendar for a discovery session
.
I hope this was insightful toyou, intriguing and you learn
more about human design, and Ilook forward to connecting with
you in a discovery session or inthe next podcast.
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