Sexologist Expert: How to Find Your Pleasure In and Out Of The Bedroom | S3, Ep 10. - The Big Dawgs: with Manning Sumner

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Katya Stern, known as the Wow Woman.
Wow, woman is someone who is constantly showing up in the
boardroom bedroom on the beach. It's the joy of life.
It's that zest. And I think a lot of women,
especially over 40 or 50 are losing it.
I did almost die in a fire. I literally thought that that
was my last breast. My nose was burning.

(00:21):
I couldn't breathe and I I made it outside.
Somehow everything was a Nash and I had to build over.
I had to build again slowly. I started looking for ways to
basically become me. The law school was there in
course and fitness training, then fitness, nutrition, health
coaching, started learning hormones.
All of those parts play an important role in the most

(00:43):
important field, psychology. And I called my daughter.
I said, I'm going back to schooland my daughter was like, So
what are you studying now? I'm like sex.
She's like, mom, you were all about success.
I'm like, no, no, no sex. And I'm glad I I got to learn
this. That wasn't always like this.
Obviously I was a good girl and then I became me.

(01:03):
I'm Manning Sumner. I've lived my life by 1 motto,
no days off. No days off has never taken a
day off on you. It's a commitment to becoming
your best self. Get ready to be inspired to do
the same. This is the big DOGS with
Manning Sumner. Well, Katya, thanks for joining

(01:24):
the big dogs. I appreciate you taking the time
to do this on a Thursday. I'm going to tell the audience a
little bit about you, and then we'll just crank this thing out.
All right. So Katya Stern, known as the Wow
Woman. You were born and raised in
Moscow, Russia, and moved to Canada at 17 years old.
In your 20s and 30s, you followed the path you thought
was expected of you, earning degrees in psychology from York

(01:47):
University, public relations andmarketing from Moscow State
University, and a law degree with a Master's in International
Law from the University of Miami.
Despite these accolades, you felt unfulfilled, fearing your
age and feeling like your life had tick tocked away without you
even noticing. After a fire almost took your
life at your family's cabin in Moscow, this experience shifted

(02:08):
your perspective, pushing you tostart a living for yourself at
42, which I find to be amazing. You adopted the what if rule,
taking risk and choosing happiness over external
validation. You left the legal field and
became an advocate for women, embracing the the belief that
there's only one law to follow, the law of being happy.

(02:30):
Yeah. And hold on.
I wanted to read a couple of your quotes because I'm a big
quote guy. As you can see, I help other
women become themselves to confidently show up in the
boardroom, bedroom and on the beach.
Love that, love that and this isone of my all time favorites.
Making America and two genders sexy again.

(02:54):
Do you have to have made? Everything I'm going to create
one. Love it, love it.
Well, let's just dive into this.What was the culture shift like
being born and raised in Moscow,Russia and then moving to
Canada, Canada when you were 17 years old?
And how did you eventually end up in Miami?
Like how did you end up in Miami?
I came and stayed. First time I was here, I went.

(03:16):
Well, first of all, thanks for having me.
It's definitely fun. It's super excited to share what
I know, what I've experienced, what I am about to experience
with with you and your audience.Thanks for having me and moving
to Canada was, was, was different cause in, in Moscow, I
was living this glitz and glam life.
It just happened. I come from a good family,

(03:37):
wealthy family by the communist standards at that time.
And when I came to Canada, I basically started from zero,
even even though I was 17, but Iwas, I was an adult.
I wasn't like 17 years old here.So I was already kind of on my
own. So I went to school and it it's
it's good to have both experiences.

(03:58):
Actually, I think I benefited from from having that Russian
style being that the the Russian, the Slavic toughness
and and the Canadian, the the nicer way, the more proper and
very polite or whatever liberal.It's a point another
conversation. But I I picked up both worlds.

(04:20):
And but when I came to Miami, I was yeah, I was at university
and I was like, OK, this is it. Yeah, this is me.
This is totally me. The lifestyle, the the ocean,
the just the freedom. I think the sense of freedom
that what? What year were you did?
You come to Miami 9434 something.

(04:42):
Like that? Yeah, yeah.
I come and go. I'm not a yeah, I lived after
that. I lived in Monaco.
That's another big part of my ofmy life and my story because I
really, I really lived that. That was actually gluten glam
'cause it's just happened. That just happened.

(05:03):
I worked for it. I lived in this huge boat, 47
meters, 7 people serving me champagne, lobster and I'm like
this Russian Princess. And then it all ended and I left
the father of my my child. My was nothing was your was her

(05:26):
with what was it Mercedes kiss kiss for, for the Mercedes and
my 3 year old daughter. That's it. 0 no child support,
nothing. I know I'm jumping ahead of
myself. There's, there's so much, but I
think it's, it's very important to, to let your audience know
that there's like you see me now, people see you now and they

(05:51):
don't see the, the back story. They didn't, they don't see the
lows and and they only see the highs and they kind of get into
this. Oh my God, I'm not that
fortunate. I'm not that, you know, that's
not going to happen to me. No, it's going to happen to you
if you take no days off. Yeah, it's so we, we've all been
through shit. I did almost die in a fire.

(06:13):
Like I, I literally thought thatthat was my last breath and when
I took it, my, my nose was burning my, my throat was
totally, I couldn't breathe. And I, and then I'm taking
another breath and I could make it because I made it outside
somehow down the stairs. I don't know how that happened,
but I ended up outside and I was, I have good, good bumps

(06:37):
and, and I see like because I know my brother's a oh, let's
say you're here the dog. OK, everybody got out of life,
but I was standing there in my socks and 1st snow in November
8th, I believe, And, and I saw my, my house burning down my my

(06:58):
legacy, my where I spent my my childhood.
Everything just was an ashes andbasically my life was an ashes
because I was just I just left the father of my of my child
with young with 0 and I had to build over.
I had to build again and and I built and I built better.

(07:18):
Love it. Love it.
How many kids do you have? One.
One. OK.
And how old? Is she enough for 10?
She's amazing. She's 21.
Oh amazing. She's a ballroom dancer,
professional. I'm I'm very proud of that
achievement of 1st and and mine and her father has to say yeah,
that her father. Difficult so people don't.

(07:39):
Realize the amount of, oh, she would wake up at 4, go to those,
how do you call them dancing competitions and, and then an
hour of makeup, that hair and then would come back home and
like 1011 at night, we'll have to go back to school in the
morning. And she would be in the shower
taking all that stuff, all that glue that she had on the makeup.

(08:01):
And she's a kid. And I look at her, I'm like,
yeah, you can, you can do it. And I'm thinking how I've, I
could never do this myself because I wasn't that distant.
I wasn't, I didn't do any professional sports
unfortunately, because I think Iwould be a good athlete if I
would just put my mind into it. But that started for me later.

(08:21):
I did become, well, I made it, Ican't say professional, but I
made it to the national championship Canadian as a
bodybuilder fitness bikini at 43and I was like wow, so but.
But go back on that. So you have this life altering
situation house and you almost dying the whole, you know,

(08:42):
losing everything. What?
What in that moment clicked where you now like?
Not even a year later you're competing on stage and
bodybuilding. Like that wasn't that wasn't a
year later. So yeah, it was few years later.
Few years later, yeah. But what?
Led you to Have you always been into working out and lifting
weights and stuff or? I thought I was OK, like a lot

(09:04):
of women, like, oh, I'm, I'm here on the treadmill, you know,
and she's walking there for likean hour.
And. Yeah, and I worked out for two
hours today. No, honey, you didn't.
You were wasting your time pretending.
And it's a pity that people pretend and they're fooling
themselves. And, and no, that's where I was.

(09:26):
I I thought I was doing it, but then how did this happen?
Something clicked that moment that, Oh my God, I'm, I'm dying,
but I haven't lived yet. For me, it was always for some
kind of outside achievement for my parents, obviously I love

(09:48):
them for and, and it's a good thing.
Yes, they did. They do push like I push my my
daughter, but it was all this inside.
I was like, OK, I have to, I have to do it, I have to do it.
And once you have to, it's a different energy, right?
It's only if I want to. So I think that's when this

(10:09):
wanting part started. I started realizing that what is
this I want and what do I have to do to get there?
And slowly I started looking forways to basically become me and
and then there was the law school was there and I thought

(10:31):
that was my thing to do. You know this Russian blonde
beautiful I I always consider myself beautiful, even though I
was the most unconfident person.I kind of knew I was beautiful,
but I was I was having like I couldn't speak.
I could I was mute. I I was afraid of public

(10:54):
speaking. Now I'm on TV doing live things
in in the states like I'm doing this and I'm loving it.
But all this the happiness is onthe other side of fear.
We know that. So once you get over that
bridge, they. Get there.
What do you think contributed tothe, would you call it low self
esteem or or fear or what? What do you think contributed to

(11:15):
that? Because like you said, I mean
you, you're a beautiful woman, you're educated like beyond you
get master's degree in law and all this stuff.
I mean that that's. A.
Big deal. That's a big deal.
So it seems like you would be ontop of the world.
What? What do you think?
I would want to say my father. He passed away 20 years ago.

(11:37):
I love him, but he was pushing me into becoming better and I
understand him, but it's it would I would never, you know,
stop and and like say OK, and hewould never do it.
Like, OK, good, let's celebrate Like you're good enough.
You're this you it. Was always more.

(11:57):
He was always like the next thing, you know, like that
carrot that you're always chasing the next carrot.
And I think I picked up that mode of operation.
There's always the next thing. Never enough, never enough.
And right now I'm doing the totally opposite.
Like I'm celebrating every little step.

(12:18):
Oh, let's celebrate. Let's dance.
Let's have nowadays off water and just, you know, enjoy life
more in those moments like now. Yeah, not tomorrow.
So I, I started slowly changing my habits and I think around
that time, I, I, who got me intothat?

(12:40):
Some, some somehow I, I found myself doing the first like a
personal development training. OK.
Oh my God, that was whoa, the mindset change.
And, and from what I remember, it was exactly that there are

(13:01):
two, two moving energies. 2 how do I call them powers that that
drive you driver driving factors.
It's out of love or out of fear.Yeah, I've heard it.
So basically I was doing everything out of fear.
Fear of that my father is going to be upset.

(13:23):
Fear that, you know, I'm not good enough like in my whatever
class. Fear like always out of fear and
acting out of love is totally different energy.
So I think at that moment that that was big when I switched.
I'm going to be acting out of love, not out of fear.
I was just having a conversationwith my brother about this, like

(13:44):
operating at A at a state of gratitude, right?
It just makes things way better than operating, like you said,
out of fear or fear of loss or or worrying and stuff like that.
Just wake up and be grateful forwhere you are while you pursue
where you want, where you're going, and where you want to be.
Right, because grateful you and grateful you can't be in in fear

(14:07):
and and great at the same time that they don't mix.
So by yes, I even did courses onthis.
I did teach like a gratitude challenge or something.
I was doing it with with my wow women and they loved it and
like, my God, it's so it's like an instant trick when you you
change your state of life. Yeah, being.

(14:31):
So talk about the wow. The wow of you Wow.
Oh my God, that's it. That's it.
That's has so many faucets. I was looking when when I
started doing OK. I quit law when I realized that
this fitness world was taking mein and.

(14:52):
How? Forgive me, but how deep were
you in law? Like were you?
Practicing, I wasn't deep in it because I realized early like
I'm, I'm doing, oh okay, I didn't pass the bar exam.
And were you doing law because of your dad?
No, no, my father was a jeweler.I, I, I grew up in the middle of
like in the central Moscow or Broad Street, famous Broad

(15:14):
Street. He had a jewelry shop.
Everybody in the whole Moscow would come to him like the, the
gangsters, the police or whatever.
Like he was pretty well known. And I grew up surrounded in like
diamonds and nice watches. So it all all started there.
My love for Well, So what was the question?

(15:42):
Yes. So you decided to walk away from
law, but you weren't. Really.
So my father, I wasn't different, I guess again again,
I liked the ego part of it. I liked, I liked like I would
imagine myself like I'm an actress, I'm a natural actress,
but I couldn't allow myself to pursue that.
And I know you were doing it right like you wanted to be.

(16:05):
So you understand me like how how we have it at us.
But but there's a like by being that to to actually going to
auditions and, and and yeah, it's, it's, it's a different,
different. World self esteem, boy they beat
you up. Exactly exactly.
My self esteem could not handle.That, I mean, I could care less

(16:27):
of what people think about me, but when you go to these
castings, and especially back inthe day when I would do the
modeling stuff, every single oneI'd walk into, you're too big,
you're too big, you're too big. So then you like damn near stop
eating. And it's like I can't change my,
my bone structure, you know? What I mean, I so know what you
mean. My God, I was told I was fat.

(16:48):
I mean, I was shredded, like notan ounce of fat on me.
And they'd be like, you're too big.
And I'd be like, I have a 27 inch waist, what do you want
from me? You know, Not now, of course,
but back then, yeah, when I was in my 20s, so.
Yeah, and and the standards weredifferent.
Now there is more into fitness people, we kind of can well now
it's not go back into it now. Everyone's a model now.
Yeah, yeah, those of you had to be this skinny, almost anorexic

(17:11):
skinny. Yeah.
And I think due to that I becamebulimic for because I was told
that I was too fat and. And then I can remember this
stupid thing. Never forget this.
I have a lot of friends who are hockey players, like NHL.
They're a lot, right? OK, Russian guys.
And I don't know, I was always attracted to hockey players.

(17:35):
That's my little well, well, they're.
Usually like 6424. I spent seven years, was one of
those amazing guy, but not this one.
Another one, we were talking. He's like, how come you're not
modelling? I said, you know what?
They told me to lose weight and he's like, so why don't you?

(17:55):
You're like nicely, like like really like a man.
Why don't you? And I was like, like really
well, if they like sign a contract with me and that's what
I answer. Oh my God, this stupid answer
ever. Well, if they offer me
something, if they sign a contract, then then I'll lose
weight. He's like Katya, this is the

(18:17):
same thing as saying sign me up for NHL and I'll learn how to
play hockey. I will never forget.
So I guess that's, that's how mymodeling career ended at that
time. And yeah, so it was never, never
too too deep into a law. Because again, I imagine as an

(18:39):
actress myself, I can court likenicely dressed, but I never
imagined the actual work on the computer to like billing hours
and doing all that stuff. Like that's not me.
And it's funny how we like we live in this fantasy world.
And when I woke up, I guess with, with that when like, like
life is over, stop playing somebody else's role.

(19:02):
This is not your role. You are out there.
You want to whatever I'm into now.
And that's why when I, when I didn't pass my first bar exam,
I'm like, OK, I'm going to do itagain every six months, no
problem. And then just life kind of took
me into different directions. I started working in this

(19:24):
company running a big construction project.
They hired me because I was, youknow, I had the skills, I had
those communication skills and Ihad to be like representing
them. So they take me there and when
the contract was over I ended upwith like 0 nothing, nothing to
do. And I'm very active person.
So I started going to the gym OKa lot like I just had a lot of

(19:47):
time in my hands, started going to the gym and I like to learn
and my trainer was like OK once a week, twice a week, 3 * 5 * a
week. I'm like OK, everyday I'm going
to. I don't mind paying 'cause I'm,
I'm, I'm like, I love paying forcoaches, for coaching because I
want to get there fast. And I don't understand people

(20:08):
who like, no, I'm going to save money and it'll take your 10
years to get there, if ever. So that's like so and I'm
taking, I'm, I'm learning and then I like something is not
happening. Like I know I need to learn
this. OK, I'm going to do it myself.
So I took the the course in, in fitness, fitness training, then

(20:29):
fitness nutrition, then health coaching the like a nutrition
institute or something. Then it was hormone, hormonal,
whatever specialist in hormonal health or something started
learning hormones. So all of that now has become

(20:51):
my, my. Now I put all of this together
because my first degree was psychology, psychology, then I
went into law. And then all of this little
skills or big skills, big skills.
Yeah, they, they kind of now I created this well, first of all,
I created me based on all this research, all the knowledge and,

(21:14):
and obviously practicing that knowledge cause knowledge is 0
until you act apply. Yeah.
And that's how now I'm, I took myself a step further or deeper
into sexology because that's allof those parts play an important
role in the most important field, sexology 'cause that's

(21:37):
like that's, that's there, that's the root, that's the root
cause of a lot of problems. That's the solution.
Is also there. Interesting.
Yeah, that's. So take us down.
Yeah, that so so and then. But tell me a little bit of
where Wow came from. Oh yeah, wow.
When I started doing, doing thatand I, I became a fitness

(22:01):
competitor after, after I learned all of that, by the way,
here in Miami, Like I was, I wasworking out and, and this guy
who is big, he's I don't know ifhe's, he's an athlete.
I just ask him like, where do I get to, to get my fat measured?
Yeah, he's like, yeah, go to this guy.
He's he trains people. I walk in.

(22:22):
He's like, OK, let's do it. He's measuring me.
He's like looks at me and says, have you ever thought of
competing? I'm like, listen, do you know
how old I am? I was thinking he would, like,
die right there, like I'm 42 or 41, whatever I was at the time.

(22:45):
He's like, yeah, we have a category for that.
That's made me think. So anyways, I competed.
And after that, everybody started asking me like, where,
why, how, what? So I created some trainings.
I created like I need to, I needat that time, I needed to share
my knowledge and I was looking for the, the name, like the

(23:10):
brand name. But all of a sudden, I swear in
the middle of the night, I wake up with this.
That's it. Because I was trying to to
define that woman, like maybe it's for, you know, in marketing
you have to define who it's for.Like for the, I don't know, for
the beautiful women, who is it for the successful women, for

(23:31):
the high achievers. Like all different.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like for the wow woman.
And that says it all. Yeah.
It's like when you walk in and people say wow and you say wow.
The most important is how you feel the same.
It it sounds like a talk show. It does, but you know.

(23:52):
Oh my God, you know, I, I, I, I communicate with my body now
'cause I got so in tune with my body.
So now I have the answers from the body.
Now when you, when they say it and I get goosebumps.
I had a meeting yesterday with the producer because the Wow
Woman show gotta, yeah, gotta come to life.

(24:12):
Definitely. It's, it's out there.
It's. Perfect.
I was looking for a new angle and and actually, OK, I'm going
to share it with you. Don't.
Don't tell anybody. Well, you're about to tell the.
World well OK the world OK once I it's out there it's it's.
This isn't live though we can wecan edit.
It No, no, no, no, no, I'm kidding.
Of course I'm I'm here. Actually, I actually wanted to

(24:33):
because this wow thing is OK. Wow.
Woman is someone who is constantly showing up in the
boardroom, bedroom and the beach.
It got everywhere, right, because everything is in
turbine. Yeah, no, because I'm, I'm
thinking about this sixology field and and obviously about

(24:54):
sixology marketing angles. Again, no, that was in the
middle of the night, but it was like, wow, wow, wow.
The well orgasmed woman and Argahas not in the sense of like a

(25:16):
physical orgasm, but the French say they call it the joie de
Ville. It's a joy of life.
It's that zest. It's the, and I think a lot of
women, especially over 40 or 50,are losing it because they're so
focused on so many years of focusing on the keys, on the

(25:36):
achievements and building businesses, raising kids and,
and husbands and, and there's just I.
Like how you word that raising husband?
Yeah, raising husband is our favorite thing to do.
We just love that we we think weknow it all.
We and you do this. And this mothering thing is

(25:58):
actually it's so it's killing these talking about sexuality.
It's killing this sexual vibe because mothering it's like,
yeah, it's a different role. If we're talking about that's
not sorry, I'm I'm jumping because there's so much.
And and this psychologist thing is being a mother is not the
same like being being a wife or partner or sexual partner.

(26:22):
And that's that's where a lot ofwomen cross the line thinking
but I'm but I love him, but I'm wishing him the best.
But I'm but I told him to, you know, he needs to change his
socks or whatever. No, this is mothering and normal
guy would not want to fuck his mother.
Right, exactly. Yeah, right.
So so the mix up of the rolls isis very, very big and and we

(26:45):
have to be very careful about that.
See, yeah, I do have a lot to say about this living that
orgasmic in all the senses life.Yeah.
So definitely, yeah, sure is is in the in the making.
I love it, I love it and it's it's definitely it's still gonna
do well 'cause the name you and then you have wonderful women on

(27:06):
and guests and chair and so. And men and men, alright, men, I
now have me on. So of course I I I now I it's
actually interesting for this sexology work, I attract men
'cause men are willing to pay for it.

(27:26):
Men are willing to share their fantasies, their problems, their
desires, and men need more support in this sense because
women have a they have girlfriends, we can talk about
these things. Not so much men.

(27:47):
They he can share his, you know,fantasies like even for example,
straight gays, straight guys watching gay porno like and they
got am I am I Well, are you that's OK, but but are you
worried about yeah, well, you OK?
A lot of guys watch game 4. I know, I know it it is OK a lot

(28:12):
a few OK, I'm gonna soften it. I'm gonna soften it.
No, no, but anyways, then they have they OK, maybe not like
actively like watching, but thenthey're they're OK with that.
They're like, I'm so I'm so OK with myself that I can even
watch that and be OK with that. I know it's like next level, but

(28:35):
they're they're different peopleand and people have different
desires and fantasies. So are you.
So do you use your gifting and sexology as like almost like a
therapist, like a sex therapist?Would you say that's what you're
doing? For now, it's almost like this.
In Canada I can be called a sex therapist.
Not in Florida and I don't want to be because licensed

(28:58):
psychologist and people who likedoing the sex therapy are very
limited in their in everything. There's so many limitation, my
imitations. I I see myself more of an
educator and that's where this is coming.
The, the, the show that you mentioned is, yes, it's just
spread 'cause I can talk about it.

(29:18):
I have no problems talking aboutwhatever.
Yeah. And therapy is not, I'm doing it
now. That's yeah.
It's kind of a mix of coaching therapy.
People need to be heard, seen, understood, supported in a safe
space. And this the, the place feeling

(29:40):
safe also. It's like it, it, it builds.
It's not like you come to me andsay this is a safe space.
OK, no, it's not like that. You gotta build that like
everything else. And so, but, but it's, it's so
important and I, I'm so happy I found my path and a lot of that
had to do because I did a lot ofcoaching for the last a lot of

(30:04):
years. And I was I'm privileged to be
coached by three people from themovie The Secret.
Oh, OK, interesting. Bob Proctor was my first.
I have a video with him. He's like, I'm sitting here with
Kata. If you ever need to get in shape
to look good, to feel good, get in touch with her.
I know the best when I see them.Like, Can you imagine?

(30:26):
He gave me this, this new world of coaching.
I'm like, OK. And he actually told me.
I said, Bob, what what I do? I want to be like you when I
grow up. Like I literally said that.
He's like, write a book, Kata, write a book.
I wrote a book. His book is called You Were Born
Rich. I wrote a book.
You were born. Wow.
You were born. Wow, that's how.

(30:48):
And when did you write that book?
When when it came out 2020 during COVID, of course, so I
didn't have my big party and bars and novels signing.
So I did it a few years, couple of years later.
But that was my like, yeah, thatwas my coming out in a way to,

(31:09):
you know, express myself. My whole story is there, my
personal ups and downs. So, yeah.
So the people get to to know me.And after I was coached by Jack
Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul that's
personally mentored. As I became a success coach, we

(31:29):
did a lot of work on mindsets. So he like how to be successful,
basically. And so I was teaching my his
system and yeah, successful, very successful.
My yeah, I I'm a good coach. And then and then to, to, to
work on my speaking. Lisa Nichols.

(31:50):
She's also she was an opera. She's one of the best speakers.
She taught me private coaching, how to express myself, how to
unmute myself. So I did.
Now you can't stop me. And yeah, but after these years
of, of coaching again, I was like, again, my ego, but in a,

(32:17):
in a good sense, I guess becauseego is, is sometimes it's if
it's like fear, it stops you from a lot of things.
But my ego in the sense of my pride, I would say, and really
being so educated with all of those degrees, all of a sudden
I'm a coach. Like I love it.
I don't know, insult anybody, but you know what coaching has

(32:39):
become, unfortunately, I think it's a, it's a great profession.
It's a great, but it's just become a little bit and I, I'm
like, I was looking for something else.
So now I'm a clinical psychologist doing a PhD in sex.
Like have you ever met a person who has a PhD in sex?

(32:59):
Well, in sexology, but, but it'slike, OK, I'm going to have a
hopefully PhD in sex. I like that.
I like that even people, people say like titles don't matter.
No, I think names matter. Titles matter.
And but it's not like what somebody calls you.
It's like what you call yourself.
When I first was called the Wow woman, I was like me.

(33:22):
I had such an imposter after that book Wow and I did my
trainings. I called them wow, this wow
body, Wow, Wow this and that andand somebody called me the Wow
woman. Really.
I I was feeling no, not me. I'm just a little.
But then I, you know, I'm bracedit.
Yeah, I'm going to be called theWow woman.

(33:43):
That's me. Like I'm going to own it.
Who doesn't like it like that? Then you're not my client.
You're not my audience, you're not somebody.
You're not from my world and good.
And I'm, I'm glad I, I, I got tolearn this.
That wasn't always like this, obviously, like I was.
No, I was a good girl and then Ibecame me.

(34:04):
Better or worse, whatever. I can be both.
That's the thing. I can be both and a lot of women
can they get they there have to be those good girls because they
used to. They used to be like go for
their fathers, for their mothers, for whoever.
It's a society and we're suffering because we're not
accepting that those shadow parts which we always have

(34:26):
without black, there's no white,you know, we have to accept
those shadows. Once I've learned to accept the
shadows. Talk about a little bit about
that, like the, the kind of coreprinciples of this movement that
you've kind of created the wow, the wow woman.
Like what are some of the thingsthat are kind of again, your

(34:49):
your base? I know everybody's different,
but what are the things that is kind of the core of what you're
teaching women and or men about finding their true selves and
when it comes to if it's sex or relationships or what, what have
you? There's, there's a lot, but
there's three totally basic things.
Absolutely basic, but people never learn to, to learn that

(35:16):
self love, self-care, self-image.
And of course there's, there's alot because in self love, that's
the mindset and mindset. We got to learn to be selfish
and we were taught otherwise. And a lot lies in there.
A lot, a lot of work. Wow woman is selfish because she

(35:42):
really prioritized herself without, you know, making other
people feel bad of course, but we we think it's the other way
around that we have to serve everybody else and then we're
good. No, it's actually, it's kind of
this. It's cliche, but.
But it's true, and I've always taught say this all the time is

(36:04):
the whole mass thing in the plane.
But then also if you're trying to pour from an empty cup,
absolutely and you're not reallyhelping anybody around you.
And if you do put yourself 1st and become the best version of
you first, then you have so muchmore to pour into others because
now you're you're pouring from this cup that's overflowing with
all these things that you've putinto it.

(36:25):
So. And it takes so much, so, so
long for especially for women. Men, not so much.
They Yeah, of course it's for me.
Yeah, man, Amazing man. I love man.
I think yeah, yeah, I know. Again, another conversation.
But we having difficulties with that.

(36:48):
We we always, we condition to put other people's needs 1st.
And sometimes when I say this, Iget so much negativity.
I get criticized for but you, What kind of mother are you?
No, I do put my needs first because I know when I'm healthy.

(37:10):
You're a better mother. A better mother when I'm not all
stressed out. I'm doing this for you, my kids.
And she's like, Oh, yeah. Exactly.
She's. All giving herself to to this
motherhood and she's a victim and she's suffering and
everybody around her is suffering her husband, poor
husband, her poor children she'sscreaming she's stressed but she

(37:34):
she thinks she's the Saint who has you know committed her life
into this this little. This sacrifice.
Thing who doesn't? Even that little kid that we
love so much now but the sacrifice doesn't really know
it's. Where do we get this idea?
All right, so you have self-care, which to me you

(37:55):
nailed it because again, you have to pour from a full cup.
And then what was the? Second self self-care was the
second one which. First one, self love.
Self love they. Kind of go hand in hand a little
bit, you know, all of them. Yeah.
And then. But talk about the last one.
self-image. Yeah.

(38:15):
A lot of people think that self-image is kind of not a
noble thing. Like if I'm smart enough and
successful enough, I don't need to care about all those things.
But things matter. Things matter.
I think it's a matter of respect.
To be well dressed, to walk intoa room and people, we don't want

(38:39):
to be judged by our clothes. We don't.
Reality is we are everyone. Why are we fighting reality?
This like human nature. Let's not fight human nature
let's, you know, go with the flow.
I think Karl Lagerfeld said if you get yourself in the in the
in the morning, in sweatpants, you failed.

(38:59):
Your days failed like, like there's a connection, something
like that. Yeah.
And so, yeah. And, and that's a matter of
respect. That's a matter of, again,
discipline. And sometimes they, they, what
you say and how you look is not congruent.
There's such a disconnect. So a person looking at you, and

(39:20):
again, we do judge whether we want it or not.
We judge. I judge you, You judge.
I walk in, the first thing I seeis your black, black tank top,
right? It's, it's immediate.
It's our not prefrontal cortex, it's our limbic system.
We're all the emotions. So maybe that represents
something for me. It represents like in this

(39:40):
sense, it represents connection,right?
We're connected right there, right?
So and. Not planned.
Either people exactly and and the the biggest motivator of
human behavior is the need to belong to a group.
So we belong. Yeah.
So what if you want to belong tosome group you you dress a
certain way and it's easier. Why do we want to make things

(40:05):
more difficult and for women especially like it's it just has
to be it doesn't have to be to issues his own.
But if you want a certain to getto a certain level, yeah it.
Also just makes you feel better like I'm sorry but if you if you
look good then you feel good andit's just they go hand in hand.

(40:30):
Right. But we taught, we were taught
that no, it's your, you know, it's your brain that matters.
It's, it's who you are inside. It's, it's all those big words
and it's just, it's. False.
Well, it does matter, but it's to me when people say that it's
all connected. So it's like, again, it goes

(40:51):
back to if you look good, you feel good.
If you feel good, your mind is clear, right?
Right. It's an ecosystem, one connected
to another and one complements another.
So and when you're missing your piece, then something's missing
and. There's a you know, it's funny
because I went and got my head shaved and cleaned up for this
and it never fails. Every single time I do that

(41:15):
simple thing I feel better, likeinstantly.
Simple. Like, and it's exactly, you
know, a 30 minute shave and and you know, hot towel, whatever
you want to call it. And but it just, you know,
you're, you're sharp, you're ready and you feel better.
Because you're accepting yourself and and you're loving

(41:36):
yourself. But the people you know, they do
they, I did this very often. It's like they have this rebel
inside of you. Why should I do this?
I'm going to against the, I'm going to go against the rules.
But it's like a teenage behaviorwhen they're rebels, when
they're growing up and they wantto establish themselves.

(41:57):
But when you're an adult, it's like you, you focus on the goal,
not on your feelings per SE. If you want to really achieve
something, get get up, what do you want?
What do you want to achieve? And you focus on that, then all
these steps going to be much easier once, once you focus on

(42:18):
what it is and, and put the emotional stuff inside.
Even though, especially for women, emotions are important,
But when like I'm thinking everybody is asking me, how do I
get to, to become a fitness competitor at 42?
How did you like wake up? How did you, how could you do so
much cardio? How much you could do the, the

(42:40):
food and take, you know, all that the containers.
I was on the private plane travelling with my high end
friends and I would have like a container with me.
They're looking at me funny. Yeah.
And, and I would say, you know, I always saw the the end.
I would, I would imagine myself on stage looking like a star,

(43:01):
feeling like a star. And then all of those, the
containers, the exercise and like didn't really matter.
It's just like little things just to get there.
I don't care. But like having the big outcome,
having that, that big vision. That's how you it's, I guess
that's another like advice. It's, it's focusing on the end

(43:21):
end result and really have all the details, all the, the juice,
the smell like, like how, how wonderful, how amazing how it's
going to be. And people think that, you know,
being building a personal brand is like, OK, you hire a couple
of marketers and it's funny, right?

(43:43):
Those people, no judgment, but Iwas one of those I thought of I
just hire a good team, you know,professional marketers and
they're going to do everything for me.
No, I had to wake up in the middle of night with that word.
Then I had to become that Wow woman inside, live and breathe
it, then teach other women how to become that.

(44:06):
And then I mean write a book anddo a lot of other wonderful
things, then reinvent and then redo and then forget everything.
Like for example, website that Ihave now is like has nothing to
do with with me today. So it's a constant, constant
building and brands like building yourself, rebuilding
yourself. And I love doing that.
It's a constant state of improvement.

(44:28):
Yeah. You can't stay stagnant.
You can't accept where you are. You have to always improve,
always, constantly. I'm a little bit cautious about
the word improvement, OK, because improvement, I would say
changing because sometimes like is it constant improving is
really getting better. Sometimes you got to get, you
know, worse before you get better.

(44:50):
So it's, it's a very like I'm very careful with with words.
That's why it and even becoming the best version of yourself.
I'm also careful with that. Remember I said somewhere on TV
and I got a lot of questions about that.
Don't become the best version ofyourself because again, it's,
it's, it goes to back to that carrot that you have in front of

(45:11):
me because become the better version of yourself.
That's kind of undermine undermining what I'm today
because again, special women, oh, tomorrow I'll become a
better version. That means today I'm a failure.
I'm a it's. Like there's something disagree

(45:32):
with the framing of that becauseI think everything is about how
you say it to yourself, you know?
So it's that conversation. Exactly, exactly in a letter.
It's definitely a healthy way. Like I don't the way you just
said it, I. Never said that.
To myself, ever in my 47 years of this, or I say it as it's
kind of like what I said earlier, is that I'm grateful

(45:55):
for where I am, but I know that I haven't.
I'm not finished yet. Like I always say to my staff,
we're just getting started. Like my potential, I haven't
reached my potential. I don't think maybe we ever
reach our potential ever on thisearth.
Oh, hopefully not. Yeah.
Exactly, no. So I think there's always room
for growth in some form or fashion without self sabotage or

(46:20):
beating yourself up or living ina, in a space of, of, of what's
the word I'm looking for? Luck.
Yeah, like, like just, you know,the being the victim saying
that, you know, So, yeah, I mean, I think, I think we're
saying the same thing, just in adifferent way.
We're saying the same thing, butwe're coming from a position,

(46:41):
OK, I want to see we're out there.
We're we're a little OK, 2 stepsahead.
OK, we can call us ourselves that with a couple of steps
ahead. But a lot of people that we, you
know, we're talking to now, a lot of women and men, they're
not there yet. Their mindset that's still
there. So when they hear, have they

(47:02):
already have that mindset that'snot strong enough for now and
then they hear becoming the better version.
It's like, OK, I was just doing this yesterday, but tomorrow I
have to do it again and more andmore.
And I can, and I just want to give up.
That's the thing that people take.
We all want to achieve a lot, but lots of high achievers can

(47:24):
breakdown the, the, the big goal.
And that's why they, they give, give up because the goal's too
big. And, and, and again, we don't
stop and celebrate like little, little, little steps.
And that's, that's how we we getthere too.
Better version to a healthier version to whatever versions.
So whatever it is for you, maybetomorrow I want to be a bad

(47:47):
girl. Like I don't want to be a good
girl anymore. I honestly, it's I'm tired.
So I don't want, do I want to bea better version?
No, I want to be my worst version Tomorrow.
I want to get up on the table, dance and not give a fuck about
anybody or anything. Is that a better version?
I don't know. It is for me.

(48:08):
It's I will feel. I will feel myself.
Well, part of that too is, is your story, your journey, the
things that get you going or getyou moving.
And maybe it's escaping also, like, you know, life is not
easy. Like there's a lot of pressures,
a lot of things going on and, and we're stuck like with

(48:31):
ourselves. And I don't think people really,
sometimes people are uncomfortable with themselves.
Sometimes, a lot of times, right?
Yeah, So I think the more vulnerable you are with yourself
and just letting yourself be your true self, whether that is
considered good or bad, just do it.

(48:52):
Anyways. I remember there was this, there
was this girl that used to come to my gym back in, back in like
2011, 2012, and she would come in and work out by herself.
She would have headphones on andshe would dance in between her
sets like a stripper, sometimes like a ballerina.

(49:13):
Like she just loved to dance. And she danced like no one was
watching in between. And there was something about
it, 'cause you know, people would make fun of her and be
like, what is that freak doing and stuff like that.
But for me, I was like, she getsit.
Yeah, she gets. You know, because she's just,
who cares? She's just doing, she's just
being herself. She's just doing what she wanted

(49:34):
to do, no matter who was watching, no matter what.
And there was something about that that was just kind of cool.
And I think, I think when you meet those kind of people,
they're just so comfortable withjust being their authentic self.
That is such a wonderful expression to be around because
it reminds you that you can do the same thing.
You don't have to wear this mask.
You don't have to be something that people that you think

(49:56):
people want you to be. Just be you.
And then try to, in my opinion, try to be a better version of
that authentic person as you canbe throughout your life so that
you're constantly, you know, like education or reading or
what we listen to these kind of things.

(50:17):
If you just stop and you're not seeking knowledge and seeking
new for like for me, this is really fun for me and very
engaging because it's it's kind of like meeting the most
mysterious, you know, woman on Earth, you know, like it's
meeting someone that I don't, I probably wouldn't have met

(50:40):
unless I got Amber to reach out to you.
And and I can't remember who, who connected.
It was a Paulina, I think. Paulina.
Yeah. So, and Paulina meeting her, she
lives her life like that for sure.
Like I met her on a yacht and she was just being completely
friendly to everybody and just she's a, she's a, she's amazing.
Thank you. Yeah.

(51:00):
Thank you. Paulina shout out.
But so it's interesting how lifeworks, how life puts you in
front of people that you might otherwise never meet and then
making the most out of it and try to learn.
Like hopefully I learn from you and you learn from me.
And we we take little bits and pieces, and then we grow.
Energy, energy exchange is so important, but going back to

(51:23):
that, being in your body and being yourself, what happens is,
especially with women, by the age you are whatever, 404550 we
don't even know who we are anymore.
So it's kind of easy to say be yourself.
And she's like, I don't know whoI am for for many years, I was a

(51:46):
wife. I knew that I was a wife that I
needed to serve my husband. I need to be this in a certain
way. Then I was a a mother also, I
knew how it's it's done. And then I'm 50, the kids are
off to school, the husband is off to whatever and you're
there. But yourself, you don't know
what you want. You don't know what brings you

(52:08):
pleasure. So talking about pleasure, it's
like, OK, I have more pleasure. I don't even know what makes me
feel good in any sense and physical and emotional.
I don't know really. She doesn't know.
So she needs to at that time. It's very important to, I guess
you have people like me who was able to reinvent myself and
still doing and it will be doingall the time and.

(52:30):
What do you find are the like, like when a woman is dealing
with that or anybody for that matter?
But I mean, as you say, most theway you described it, there's
probably millions upon millions of women out there.
They're facing this. Yeah.
What is if? If someone doesn't know who they
are, doesn't know what brings them passion or pleasure, where

(52:50):
do they start? First thing, get into your body,
start moving, go there, start moving and and you don't have to
like, oh, I was there for an hour.
You don't need to an hour walk into the gym, look around, look,
hire a trainer better or do something or go for a walk, like

(53:12):
do some some movement. And then the next day you do 20
minutes. The day after, I don't know, 23
minutes of something. That's how you get going.
Because what happens is we there's me in my mind somewhere
and there's my body and there's such a disconnect and woman,
when the woman is disconnected from her body, that's it.

(53:35):
She stops feeling she's not exactly she's not herself
anymore because she's there's a disconnect.
So by getting back into the body, by feeling the feelings,
by not avoiding them because what we do, we avoid.
That's why we're overeating overdrinking over porn is the same

(53:55):
thing. It's a avoidance mechanism
because we can't deal with our emotions inside.
So we we go to those things outside of us and going in back
into the body physically, emotionally, that's how you you
start. So whatever can be done to get
your physical level up. And then I mean, working out is

(54:18):
not even an option. It's not an option for women.
It's like, oh, I'm doing OK, good.
Working out is not an option. I checked my bone density.
Now I'm above like 78% of women of my age with a bone density.
Because you'd lift weights? Because 10 years ago I started

(54:40):
lifting weights, right? It's, it's, I'm not working out
for, you know, for the next bikini season, which is in Miami
all the time. So we got to be unsafe.
I'm preparing for my 60s, seventies, 80s, whatever.
So think big. Think like have that vision in

(55:01):
front of you. Not like, OK, I worked, I worked
out today, OK. And also that's, that's also big
people for some reason think that working out is a
punishment. I have to do it.
I have to work out. I have to go on a diet.
I hear this all the time. I have to go on a diet.

(55:21):
I have to stop eating sugars. I have to.
No, you don't have to. You get to you're privileged.
You're privileged to, to be ableto have a gym like this.
You're privileged to have this amazing water.
You're privileged to be trained by people.
I don't know if you train, but being, Yeah, being, you know,

(55:43):
being active. Year and a half ago, I had a hip
replacement surgery. Before that, I for 2 1/2 years,
I suffered. I couldn't walk, I couldn't have
sex. I couldn't, like do anything.
And I was, I thought I was dyinglike I thought I was old.

(56:05):
This old babushka who is basically life is over.
And I, you know, I realized whatI realized why people get old
because there's no movement because I can't move like a like
a young person because a young person would jump around.
The young person is light can bend, who can do whatever we

(56:25):
can. We dance, you know, now getting
older in front of ATV, That's it.
You lose movement, you let it lose your strength.
Of course, it's all you're connected.
Is 772 I think or she's in her 70s and my mom out walks my dad
like there's no my mom walks like a beast.

(56:48):
Like you've never seen a woman walk so fast. 10,000 steps and.
Then she does Pilates and lift weights.
But she is, I mean, by far one of the most, like, healthiest 70
year olds I've ever been around.And she's, you know, glowing
and, you know, looks great and it's fun.
And I'm telling you, it's exactly what you said.
It's because she moves every day.

(57:10):
Yeah. Yeah, amazing.
In the movement, it's in the. So you, you got a great example.
And my mom is, is the same. She's she's also very active,
amazing, looking great. And she's such a motivator for
me and my daughter. Oh, she's looking at me.
So you can't do it for you. Well, no, you still should do it
for yourself, not do it for yourkids.

(57:30):
But by doing this, like my daughter's so proud of me.
She's like, oh, it's my mom and her kids like, and just for
that, like, look for those things that excite you, that,
that like find that, find that pleasure and like, what brings
you pleasure? Sit down, write it down.
What brings you pleasure? And keep searching.

(57:50):
Keep like looking inside and maybe remembering or I used to
dance. Oh, OK.
I used to, I, I wanted to be, I don't know, an actress kind of
that's what we're doing. It's it's funny because this is
what you're doing your show. I'm almost doing my show.
So whatever we wanted to do whenwe were younger and it didn't
happen back then because we needto go this this transformation

(58:13):
around. But we're still here and we're
still doing what we wanted to dowhen we were younger.
And then I think that makes us feel younger, right, because we
do what we with young people, right, Right.
They're playing. This is, I think life is is a,
is a game. Life is a party and we need to
the healthy part. Like when you got your hip hip

(58:36):
replacement, how was that in terms of like getting yourself
back into being able to do stuffagain?
Was it a long rehab or was it quick or?
Don't tell my doctors. It was quick for me.
Yeah, I just got right into that.
I did it through pain. I know I wasn't supposed to.
I still experience some pain, but the outcome of how I started

(59:01):
feeling after a few years, it was pretty bad.
Three years of I lost a lot of money because my my my partner,
business partner betrayed me And.
And it was this, yeah. And he was Ukrainian.
And this whole thing started andhe decided that I'm Russian,
Ukrainian, I don't need to anyways.
And it went downhill. Everything end this and.

(59:26):
So. Again, I'm on like Phoenix
reborn again, but it it took me,it's now a year and a half and
I'm back to I'm back to, to me, totally different me, new me.
I'd say healed. Healed version.
Healed, you know, in all this old senses because after that,

(59:47):
like when, when all of these things happened to me and they
and they happened to everybody, the first thing we say, we
think, why did this happen to me?
The world is not fair. People are not fair.
I must have done something wrongwith the we get into this
victimhood and I got into this imagine it was like all my
training was all my, you know, knowledge and expertise on this.

(01:00:09):
I I I became a victim myself because I was like looking for
an outside. Help even like maybe somebody
will feel bad for me and will help me somehow and, and
support. I was looking for support and,
and now a couple of years, nobody really helped me.
I mean, of course my family, butno, it's, it's me.

(01:00:33):
I had to change that. And I, I realized that yes, this
happened to me. OK, it it took some time.
It may take some time of, of grief.
That was grief because I lost this and that that it's with
grief and it's natural. It took some time.
Yes, it took more than I would ever think would take.
Now you see me like on the otherside of that, that whole thing.

(01:00:57):
But it having experienced that victimhood, I I realized my God
and people get into that and they can't get out.
It's so important to use like tojust slowly or fast to to change
the thinking of no, I'm not a victim.
It it's OK that this happened tome.

(01:01:19):
What are my lessons? What what am I to do next?
What am I to be next? Sit down again reinvent
yourself. What do you want?
What do you want? Because we, we oftentimes do
what other, again, what other people think, want from us, but
like actually get to the core ofwhat do I want?

(01:01:42):
That's important to, to, to realize at this moment of my new
life, I realized it was psychology the minute I, I was
like, that's what I want it. And it took me some time to
admit this to myself because it's like, it's not like sexist.
It's a topic. And I called my daughter.
I said I'm going back to school.She's like, OK, yeah, knowing

(01:02:06):
you, I'm not. Even though I promised myself
never go back to school again. I lie quite often.
But now you're going back on your own terms.
So it's and my daughter was like, So what are you studying
now? I'm like, sex.
She's like, mom, you were all about success.

(01:02:27):
I'm like no, no, no sex. That's.
Like, oh, OK, it is what it is. So I was like, relieve that
because, yeah, there's my mom, there's my daughter.
We still kind of, you know, kindof good girls.
Yeah. Shame.
Shame is a big thing. So what is being a sexologist or

(01:02:49):
sex expert like? What does that entail?
Educating people and supporting people and helping them have a
better sex life and sex. Again, it's not just this, the
movement part, it's not the technique, even though
techniques are important. Techniques are so important.
We can talk about that too. But it's, it's about

(01:03:11):
communication, it's about body image, It's feeling, again,
feeling in the body. It's it's a big part of, of
being sexy and sexual. And there is a thing that I call
sensual charisma. There is sex appeal, there is
fantasies, there are fears. Is there?

(01:03:35):
Is there guilt? Yeah.
Is there a correlation between sex health and health?
Yeah. Of course it's a hormone.
Hormones are big. Cortisol, Stress, diabetes and
yeah, erectile dysfunction is diabetes is causing it because

(01:03:57):
the blood flow is not happening.Can get it up.
Yes. So sexual health is Oh yeah,
absolutely. That's why being a health coach
and now sexual Wellness, it's kind of goes in yeah.
And but mentally guilt, yes. For for a lot of men, guilt is a
big thing. When you say guilt, what do you

(01:04:20):
mean for men? Well, mostly it's men.
Want more sex? Not as much.
Yeah. And there's a mismatch because.
We're like 3 Packard puppies. It's because you can't deal with
your shit and you're, it's a wayfor you to escape reality.

(01:04:42):
Yeah, there's, there's so many different aspects of this, but
usually it's that and, and, and women.
And he genuinely loves his wife or partner, but she's doesn't
want to have the same amount. And it's not just the amount,
it's the ways like men are more into exploring different things.

(01:05:04):
Let's try this, let's try that, let's try.
I've seen this on porn. My friends were talking about.
I never watched it, but I heard and women again condition
because conditioned to be the good girls.
I could never do this. And and he feels guilty now

(01:05:25):
because he now he can't talk about this to to his woman,
unfortunately, because she's being this, you know, Mother
Teresa. But there's it's actually a
thing in psychologist psychologist.
There's a mother horror complex.Where did you?
Say mother whore. Madonna, whore.
There are two, two sides of it. Madonna or whore.

(01:05:47):
Madonna being like that sacred woman who is, you know, like the
mother of your child. And on the other side, he wants
to be her, to be like he's seen out there on porn, right?
He can't put those two things together.
And sometimes he really loves his wife, but he can't have

(01:06:07):
sexual relationship with her because she can't be that whore.
And like she's a Madonna. She can't put those two roles
together and again, he's feelingguilty because like I I don't
want her and that that that's the thing and and we work on
but. It's wrong, but it's a a very, I

(01:06:28):
mean, I don't know if wrong is the right word, but it's that's
not the case though. Like, like, you know what I
mean? Like for you?
Well, yeah, that's what I'm trying to say.
I mean, I think that you don't, Again, that's how a lot of
people are viewing it when at the end of the day, you have to
open your mouth and tell your wife what you want.
And you have to also accept the fact that you're getting best of

(01:06:50):
both worlds. The, the, the queen and the, you
know, whore, as you put it. I would never call my wife a
whore, but you know what I'm saying.
No, but but it's you didn't. No, I didn't create that.
It's it's actually, Yeah, a thing.
No, that's the ideal situation. Yeah, but that that do.
You think that because we hear this all the time, exactly what

(01:07:13):
you described is something that's very prevalent
conversation that happens. In the.
In the world you know and then. In a man's.
Yeah, and especially in. The sauna I don't.
Know yeah you hear married men frustrated all the time about
that very thing how how do you address that with like your and

(01:07:35):
do you do you do you talk to like partners or do you
typically talk one-on-one with. People, I'm not there yet.
Working with couples is the is the next, next step.
Yeah. And I want to mention my
interest in this a little bit later.
Remind me. But it's usually OK if the guy
comes into the office and and hesays, well, but my wife, my wife

(01:07:58):
is this and that. And I said, well, you were here.
Yeah, we're dealing with you. She didn't have a problem.
She's OK. You you have the problem.
I'm not going to change her. Let's talk to you.
Let's let's see where what part we can, you know, change in you
or change or maybe have you understand or have you accept

(01:08:21):
and where where you picked up that you can see that was it
like this before she had kids? What excited you in her before
you know, three years ago, five years ago, whatever.
So we see where this thing started and how things can be
changed. There are different techniques
where you journaling like your feelings.

(01:08:43):
Oh my God. OK, that's why that's it's it's
about awareness. A lot of things were fixed by by
just becoming aware of where that it came from.
Maybe it's like your your parents were were like this.
Maybe it was your father's thoughts.
It's not even your thought. It was the idea of your father
who couldn't do this. And now you not consciously want
to be loyal to your father. You want to be like your father

(01:09:06):
because you will love and respect him.
And that's how he was to mother.And that's how you picked up on
your like 5 year old kid. And you remember like, Oh yeah,
it's not like that. I'm actually pretty open about
that. And I'm it's OK.
I can actually see in her the both sides and like that wow
woman who is Madonna and who areat the same time.

(01:09:27):
I mean, is that your stance likeas far as like women should be
both? Wouldn't women women shouldn't
be anything OK Women can be can choose whatever they choose to
be. I am very pragmatic.
I'm OK if this doesn't work for you, change it.
If it works for you, you're OK with that, That's fine.

(01:09:48):
Some women are OK with them and I don't like this word cheating.
I really don't like that it's hegoes and he has sex with other
women. Some women are OK with that,
believe it or not, for some other reasons.
Or maybe she's just she's like, OK, good, he's not touching me.
That's fine. Not being judgmental that people

(01:10:12):
are different, right? Really.
We, we have our own set of beliefs, but some other people
are OK with with threesomes how some other people are OK with
whatever gang bangs. Some people, some men enjoy
seeing a woman like being pleasured by ten men.
There are different different things happening.

(01:10:32):
I know we that's what we don't talk about it like even you,
you're so like advanced and you're like, no, no, it's I see
it, but. Not like, I mean, not like I'm
scared of it, just I'm not into it.
So it's, it's not. And again, I don't.
I'm not. You don't talk.
To me, to each his. Own exactly.
To each his own, but there I'm I'm saying that there are
options and sometimes we don't know those options, but by

(01:10:55):
exploring those options, maybe something will work for you or
not you're perfect. But those people we're talking
about those people, those when we know different options and
way of doing it. Does anything surprise you?
Oh, nothing. Have you heard it all?

(01:11:16):
I've heard it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I I was interested in this before I started doing it
myself. Myself, I mean, professionally,
not myself sexually. And myself sexually too.
It's just kind of I, I realized that that it's, it's an
interesting world, but it's so taboo.

(01:11:37):
But I'm interested in taboo. I'm interested in things that
are underground. So I'm I'm still like touching
the waters. I'm I'm not there yet.
This the BDSM which is is a different power control thing
where it's consensual and and you can you're.
Giving me Samantha from Sex and the City vibe.
Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

(01:11:59):
I love her. She's she's she's good.
She's sexy. So yeah, there's a lot of things
that still have to be. I need, need, want.
I don't need anything. I want to explore.
Yeah, there's there's a lot, Yeah, Psychedelics.
I want to mention this. OK, It's it's something.
I just had some an expert on. Oh yeah.

(01:12:20):
That does on. On what?
On mushrooms. Mushrooms, yeah.
And then I also had a guest thatwas a specialty on DMT.
So that was a fascinating one, really.
Fascinating. OK, it's so interesting because
I think that's that's another. I wouldn't say it's a new world
is what it's kind of where we started talking about like we

(01:12:41):
started talking about sex. I think MDMA is has a potential
for couples therapy treatment that this it wasn't approved by
FDA back in this August for treatment of PTSD.

(01:13:03):
Hopefully it will one day and then it will open up
possibilities for couples therapy because that's.
Definitely, hopefully it's like by prescription because you
know, you deal. With yeah, it has to be.
Tampered stuff. Underground market.
Fentanyl and all this crap so. Well, let's not like, let's
separate the fentanyl and MDMA. That's just like.

(01:13:25):
Well no, I'm saying that you canget MDMA if you're getting it
from the street. It could have.
Yeah, that's why if, if GA is, is approving it, then yeah,
it's, it's, yeah, it's off. Yeah.
It's going to be used off label for, for a couple of therapies,
but people still doing it now and, and it's, and it's helpful
because you mentioned one of theconversation you, you mentioned

(01:13:48):
having all those masks and this thing helps you like remove
those masks in like an hour, twohours.
Your inhibitions. Go out right and and two people
sitting there and like we've been together for 25 years.
All of a sudden they're like rawnaked.
They're totally exposed and theytotally themselves.

(01:14:12):
And then they finally they can talk about their real issues and
become really close in like in no time.
I think it's amazing. I really like want to study this
more and get into this world of maybe helping people.
So I asked all my guests this isis there anything that you wish

(01:14:34):
the world knew about you that they don't today?
No, no, I don't because I'm still learning myself.
I'm still exploring myself. So no, I want to be like hidden
gem really well. Thank you so much.

(01:14:55):
Thank you, this is awesome. And how did people find you?
What's the best? Place, you know, Instagram
always works. Yeah, Awesome.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you.

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Sexologist Expert: How to Find Your Pleasure In and Out Of The Bedroom | S3, Ep 10.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Sexologist Expert: How to Find Your Pleasure In and Out Of The Bedroom​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ | S3, Ep 10.