Episode 99: "Today is Sunny AF" with Special Guest Sunny Dwyer

Embark on an intimate journey with Sunny Dwyer, whose infectious zeal and entrepreneurial acumen shine as brightly as her camera flash. Our conversation meanders through the rich tapestry of her life, from embracing motherhood to nurturing a thriving family business. Sunny's candid tales of parenting offer a glimpse into the delicate dance of instilling leadership in her children, while her anecdotes of entrepreneurship reveal the steadfast resolve needed to not just survive but flourish, especially in the demanding world of photography.

It's not every day you meet someone who can turn the trials of a pandemic into their most prosperous year yet—Sunny and her husband Shane did just that. Their story is a masterclass in seizing unexpected opportunities, from the impulsive purchase of a commercial property in Dallas to the strategic narrowing of their business focus. The Dwyers' studio, specializing in pet and family photography, stands as a testament to their belief in the profound simplicity of black and white imagery and the emotional resonance it captures.

But beyond the lens, this episode delves into the heart of what makes relationships—both professional and personal—truly valuable. As Sunny shares the tools and practices, like the Ask Bay app and monthly retreats, that keep her marriage with Shane joyful and grounded, you too may find yourself inspired to nurture the bonds that matter most. Join us for a tale of love, laughter, and the nuanced art of living a life intertwined with family, work, and the enduring pursuit of happiness.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I don't get hung up on that either, because I'm
still so forward-focused and thething that I've, last couple of
years, I've really tried totake it and recognize is and I
bring it back to you the peoplepart.
Like I do recognize that, I amvery proud of the small group of
people who we've been able toraise up as leaders into certain

(00:20):
positions where they've beenable to start building their own
businesses within ourorganization.
What's going on everybody?

(00:45):
Welcome back to the Big DogPodcast.
We're excited to be here.
I'm really excited about thisshow because I have one of the
greatest personalities on theplanet and someone who's become
a great friend over the lastyear and totally unexpected
friend, but I'm so appreciativeof her and her husband.
It's just like a lot of myfriends.
It's funny.
You get in the rooms you needof my friends.
You know it's funny.
You know you get in the roomsyou need to be in and somehow

(01:07):
you get connect people thatyou're supposed to be connected
to.
And that is where I found SunnyDwyer.
Welcome, sunny, how are you?
I?

Speaker 2 (01:14):
am awesome and very honored to be on today and, like
you said, very unexpected, butI think we were put in that
place for a reason.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
So who connected us.
Initially it was a Doug, dougMitchell, it was Doug.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Mitchell.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah.
And so Doug, who is a Apexmember with us sorry, my eyes
were in like full on pollenright now in Virginia and so all
of a sudden my eyes startitching and now they want to
roll with it.
But you know, so Doug sends atext saying, hey, you two should
connect, and we're like allright, sure?
So we, we, we did, we did acall, it was a ton of fun.
And then the next time I was intown, we got together for

(01:47):
coffee and had a ton of fun.
And you had just gotten off aphone call with someone who and
you're like, oh my gosh, likeanother photographer friend of
mine, she's actually fromvirginia too and I said, what's
her name?
Like I know every photographerin the state of virginia, and no
shit, I knew it was Aaron.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
She's like right by you.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, yeah, I know her.
Yeah, I know her, and it's,it's really funny.
I'm like what are the odds ofthat?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I don't know.
It's crazy.
I believe everything happensfor a reason, so clearly there
was a connections that had to dothat.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
And I'm totally not that person who says, oh, what's
their name, like I'm gonna knowthe photographer.
It's a random ass photographeryou know across the country.
But hey, here we are you knowwe do.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
So sunny, talk a little bit about about you.
So first family, oh, firstfamily.
All right, so I've been marriedto my crime, my partner crime
shane, for it'll be 20 years inoctober, so excited about that.
And we've done photographybefore we were married, so we
kind of met on the photographyscene.
I was shooting in another townand he was working with his dad
as a partner, and so that's howwe met and we have three amazing

(02:55):
children between us.
Carter is 18.
He graduated early in Decemberand he's actually working for us
.
So to see Logan, it's so coolto me how, not in a million
years he would ever have saidI'm going to go back to work
with you, mom and dad.
He's not that cool, but he seesthe entrepreneur side of it now
and so he is working for usfull time, which is awesome, and

(03:16):
he's crushing it in sales world.
I don't know too many 18 yearolds that could do that.
He's great.
Ava is our 17 year old princessand she can do no harm.
She is a junior.
She's an amazing girl, very bigheart, lover to death, wants to
be a teacher, which is going tobe a tough road, so I can't
stop her from that.
Her heart is set on teachingpeople and so she's excited

(03:38):
about that.
Charlie, he's my 12 year old.
He is my baseball boy andeverything sports, wants to be a
sports fanatic, but he's gotthe biggest heart.
He's kind of got the bestcombination of Shane and I,
smarts and heart.
And so that is us.
And we have two dogs big booty,judy Abby I know you love that
name and she is 13 and lockedout of this room right now so

(04:01):
that she doesn't interrupt meand then Drake, our newest.
He'll be one year next month.
He is a mutt.
He's golden retriever backwardshe's like what everybody
doesn't want.
So his mom's golden retrieverand his dad's golden doodle.
So he's 75% golden retrieverand everyone's like why'd you do
that?
I'm like I don't know he wascute, like I don't.
I don't think that on anythingelse.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
So that's my fam that's fun, you know, I I forgot
your daughter, same same age asmine, kiki.
You know, both juniors bothwant to be teachers and we're
kind of like the same thing,like oh, okay, and I'm like all
right, and if I say anythingagainst it, I mean she will
double down on it because that'show she is.
But I did tell my wife, I hadan idea.

(04:42):
I said, babe, there's severalreasons I would like to point
her away from education, right.
But now I love teachers, Irespect teachers, I have all the
respect in the world forteachers.
I just think the environment isnot an environment I would want
my daughter to have to navigate.
But anyway, I told her secondto that.
I also don't know thatcompensation-wise, my daughter

(05:05):
and the comfortability she'saccustomed to will allow for
that.
So I told Devin, I said youknow what we do.
We take a teacher's salary andwe remove a rent for an
apartment, moderate car payment,car insurance, cell phone bill,
just your typical bill.
We take that out of the salaryand we just give her the net pay
after those things.
Right now I don't think shecould live off of it and she has

(05:28):
no responsibilities.
And so her joke is you know,well, I'll just I'll.
I'll get a, I'll get a richboyfriend, and you know, or I'll
come work for you part-time.
I'm like what are you going todo for me part-time?
She's like no, we, as yourcurrent rich boyfriend, you know
it's not a plan that's going toplay out kid.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
So no, it's funny.
Ava says the same thing wealways like you're going to have
to marry very wealthy if yourheart is set on teaching.
And I'm trying to get her to godown the road of stop, stop,
pencil, like putting yourselfinto this.
I got to be in middle school.
Math is what she wants.
And I'm like think bigger,Think of the entrepreneur side.
You could own a privatetutoring company and you get the

(06:10):
cream of the crop.
We'll do what you want to doand have others underneath you.
I'm trying to get her in that,but man, it's tough.
And so she's looking at A&M isher top school right now.
And yeah, and I like A&M.
I think A&M is great.
It's more on the conservativeside.
She's like well, at least it'snot University of Texas and
that's a whole nother podcast.
But yeah, so we're talkingabout this and keeping an open

(06:33):
mind.
I know she'll be shown theright path.
I know things will work out.
I just don't want her to getout of college because I'm not
paying for that.
We have been very upfront.
We will not.
We are not spending our moneyon that for our children.
We will help you in other ways,but you're going to need to
stay out of loan.
Simple as that.
You want the education.
You take on the debt.
So you decide do you want50,000?

(06:53):
, Do you want 100,000, 150,000?
What are you willing to spendfor this education?
That's just how we think,though.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's funny with the kids when they have
entrepreneurial parents and youmight have a kid who's kind of
wired the same way and then youhave the one who isn't and
you're trying to explain well,hey, you know one thing you
could do, or you know you couldgo this angle with it, and it's
it's.
I have found it to be veryfrustrating for her and I, where
I'm trying to like, cause shecan't see it that way, her mind

(07:19):
doesn't work that way whereaslogan can see the alternatives
and again, just a different waythat he's wired and he, he has
things that he wants to do andyou know, for as long as he
wants, as long as he can deliver, he's got a place here.
But if he comes to me and says,dad, I'm gonna go do this and
I've got this idea, and blah,blah, blah, oh, yep, I support
that, let's.
Well, let's go figure it out,or go figure it out.

(07:40):
If I can help, let me know.
But you try to have that convowith a person or a child for
that matter who doesn't havethat type of wiring.
Yeah, you're like, well, that'snot what it is.
Teachers teach at the middleschool math Like there's, no,
there's.
Who cares that people aretrying to run away from public
education and go private, andhomeschooling numbers are higher

(08:01):
than they've ever been.
There couldn't be some softwareopportunities out there?
There couldn't be some onlineprograms out there?
Oh no, I'm going to be in thisbuilding with these seventh
graders teaching math, and it'sjust how they're wired.
You mentioned Texas A&M.
So, kiki, she, her top choiceright now is Devin and I's alma
mater here in Virginia, jamesMadison university.

(08:22):
That's great, except for thefact devon and i's asses are
moving to texas after shegraduates.
So I'm trying to get her tolook at some schools in texas.
I'll show you all of them.
We can go do whatever you want.
So we had this plan and we haddates picked out.
We're gonna fly out, we'regonna go see the different
schools and we're gonna be allover the state and I didn't care

(08:44):
, care, like wherever you wantto look at, look at, I'm getting
ready to buy the plane tickets.
I said, kirsten, babe, like, isthis an absolute waste of my
time?
Is there any chance in hellthat you go to college in Texas?
And she said, dad, there is nochance in hell.
I'm going to college in Texas.
She goes.
You asked me to have an openmind, and so I will have an open
mind and that's why I said Iwould do it.
But there's no chance in hell.
I'm going to college in Texasand I was like, well, we don't

(09:06):
need to waste our time doing allthis stuff.
So then her ass tries to hustleme about a week ago and we I
love her she comes out and shesays she sits down with Devin
and I because we're taking herout to a concert in June out in
Dallas.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
And we're taking her and one of her little friends.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
To who uh Noah Khan is?
Oh good, yep, yep okay.
Logan, I do because Ava's beenasking me to go so, okay, well,
apparently we're going in June Ithink it's the 9th or 10th or
something and so she comes homethe other day and says hey, so
guys, how about Allie takesKylie and I to toallas for the
concert and we can stay at thecondo and you guys don't even
have to go?

(09:47):
And then another time, me andand you guys go, and we'll go.
Look at texas a&m anduniversity of texas.
Daddy, if you want me to seesmu or tcu, we can go.
Do that.
You one, you need to apologizefor being so disrespectful,
because you're gonna come inhere like you're gonna hustle me
, like I invented this game,like you don't.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
You don't come at me with she's gonna take us to the
condo.
You don't even have to come,dad, this is a win for you.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, all of a sudden it goes from dad you want to go
to a concert to, and I'mthinking, oh my gosh, and I knew
I was getting played from thejump, but I was gonna take it
because I was gonna get timewith my daughter.
No, then it's ali's fine, she'san adult, she can go with.
I'm like I don't even know whothis person is.
And now I do know who theperson is, but it just was so
funny because she was legittrying to hustle the hell out of

(10:35):
me about this thing.
I'm like child no if your friendwants to go to the concert, she
can come on too, and well, youguys go to the concert I I don't
have to go.
But I'm not sending you all toDallas for the weekend without
me.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
You could find Aunt Sunny.
I could hook you up, we coulddo that.
But then she'd be like waitwho's Sunny?

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, she'd love you.
She'd love you.
As long as it's not me,everything else is fine.
Maybe we play this collegething with that, because you
it's like maybe we play thiscollege team thing with that
because you'd be like look,there's a lot of concerts in
dallas, just saying there's alot of concerts, there's a lot,
a lot, a lot of things that Ithought she would like, but I
think I like it too much thatshe just has to be anti oh, so

(11:16):
she's got you gotta.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
You gotta make it her idea.
We gotta work on this yeah,it's been a project.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
so talk to me about how, speaking of of Dallas, you
guys were Nebraska, right, yeah,and that's born and raised.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Go Big Red, born and raised.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Go Big Red and COVID timeframe.
You guys are like hey, let'smove to Texas.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
It was the best and worst decision of our life.
Yeah, we knew one person in thewhole state, shane's brother.
He had moved here.
He's been here now over 10years and we kept coming down
because in Nebraska we were oneof the bigger studios, but we
were still you could only be sobig in Nebraska and we had three
kids to support and we didn'thave a ton of money at all.

(11:56):
And so when we went onvacations with three kids it was
like, all right, what's thecheapest spot we can go to?
And Dallas kept coming up andso we would just come down for
the long weekend, stay at hisbrother's house.
We had a great time and we fellin love with Dallas.
That's how we came to loveDallas.
And we kept joking every timeman, we're just going to move
here.
And it was a joke and a jokeand a joke.
And finally we came down inDecember 19 and we said we were

(12:20):
driving home.
And again, I think everythinghappens for a reason.
I was on my phone and I seencommercial property and I was
like, wow, this building lookslike a studio.
We wouldn't have to put a lotof money into it.
I mean, we couldn't afford ahundred thousand dollar build
out.
And so we drove home, got backshot the next day of a full day
of sessions, we turned rightback around, came down, looked
at the building and put an offerin, not even knowing.

(12:42):
This is like a good spot ofTexas.
I had no idea what Frisco wasLike what and bought it, moved
our entire family.
It was about 90 days later,cause it was, it was just this
last week that was ouranniversary for moving four
years ago.
So yeah, and then Texas shutdown the day we moved here for
COVID.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
So wild Winning that is so wild.
You're like, yes, this isawesome, let's leave our entire
book of business.
Yeah Bye, move south, buy abuilding and shut it down, it'll
work out.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
We had no plan B.
I'll tell you that much,because we sold the snowblower,
we weren't moving back north.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
And we just we had got.
The thing was we had amarketing plan in place that was
that was working, and we hadthe studio ready to go, but then
covid didn't even allow us toopen.
We couldn't even be open yeah,we weren't an essential business
, all that jazz.
And so we had three months of no, no work.
And I don't know about you, butbeing an entrepreneur not being

(13:42):
able to do anything for threemonths, you just just want to
chew your nails out.
Yeah, that is.
And we were freaking out alittle bit on the whole money
side but, as it turned out,after that we opened up, we had
our best year ever.
We continued to grow.
Last year was kind of a steadyyear for us and we're up this
year already.
I'm so excited for it.

(14:03):
So turns out just going all in.
You have no other option.
You know, shane's dad alwayssays nothing will ensure
survival, like the hunger ofyour children.
You're going to find a way tomake it work.
And we not only moved here anddid that.
We actually were partners withShane's dad before we had moved
and we bought out each otherbecause we wanted to grow and do

(14:25):
different things, and we hadone month of savings to do that
as well.
And we just hit the groundrunning like all right, what do
we got to do to make this work?
You know, I'm not afraid to goget a second job if I have to to
to support the kids and and I'mstill not ever that big Like I
will never be the person that'slike I'm never going to do
anything else in life.
This will be the way you knowif something presents itself or

(14:47):
something goes downhill, I'm thefirst to be, like all right
paper route.
What do I got to do?
What do I got to do to supportmy family?

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Well, yeah, and because the kids I mean they're
along for the ride, right, likethey don't really get a say in
the matter.
There might be, hey of the day,mom and dad make a decision,
mom and dad make a decision, andwhether that plays out good or
bad, the kids still don't haveany say in that.
And so we got to make sure thelights are on, there's food on
the table and all those things.
And the things that you have todo, the numbers you have to

(15:15):
crunch the nights you don'tsleep the stuff that you have to
go through.
Hopefully they never reallyknow, and it's until it's
appropriate.
And then, because there's a lotof life lessons and stuff to
learn there.
But no, that's awesome.
I love that.
You guys kind of went all inand just toss it all and like,
hey, you know, we got thissuccessful business here, but
we'd rather be, and so let's godo it again, right, and I

(15:35):
thought that was pretty coolfrom the first time that I spoke
to you.
Now, another thing I reallylike about you guys is talk
about what y'all specialty isyour studio.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Ah yeah.
So that was something that Ireally wanted to fine tune and
hone in on, because when youstart in any business, I think
really you do as much as you can, you're like you're in, you
dive into all these areas, andso we did.
We did weddings, sports,seniors, families, children, the
whole nine yards, bunny rabbitsat Easter time you know
whatever it was.
And when we were moving here,shane and I were really trying

(16:06):
to fine tune what we loved, whatour passion really was, what we
knew we could do better thananyone else.
And so those two things are.
And the main one really and Ijust had a conversation with my
manager this morning, they'restill booking like three to one
is pets, and we're finding thata lot of studios don't even
allow dogs or cats or anythinglike that to come in their

(16:27):
studio, which I get.
Pets are not always like yourown pet.
They don't take care ofeverything and they pee and poop
and do all that stuff.
So we specialize in pet fineart.
Very simplified, we don't do youknow all the crazy backgrounds
and all this jazz.
It is a very simple focus onthe eyes, especially with darker
dogs, just focusing on the, the, the emotion from that pet that

(16:52):
you can just see to their soul.
That's what we wanted and sothat's what we focus on.
And then we also photographfamilies in black and white in
studio.
So we do two things and twothings only, and and I love that
because I can really just honein on it and people love that we
allow pets in our studio, thatthey may have their style, but
they will do whatever, and wehave some good friends who are

(17:28):
really talented photographersand their post editing style is
extremely unique.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
And I don't hire them to do a lot of our stuff, but
certain things I know it canonly be them, because I don't
know 100% what it's going tocome out like, but I know it's
going to be incredible.
So I need something a littleover the top, something a little
more artsy, something a littlemore fun.
I'm bringing them in If I needsomething more straight laced

(17:55):
while they can do that stuff.
I don't hire them to do thatstuff because it's just not.
It's not like who they areRight.
So what made you go to?
Like we're going black andwhite and we're going pets and
that's it.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Ooh, okay.
So families, it was easy.
Every and I say this with themost grace, but every
photographer that starts doesoutdoor photography, so they're
always outside natural light.
It's easy, it's free.
And we went a step further inNebraska and we were doing
studio, which not a lot ofpeople could do.
So we went a step further inNebraska and we were doing

(18:27):
studio, which not a lot ofpeople could do, so that set us
apart.
But then to take it one stepfurther and go to black and
white for family, we did thatbecause I'm feeling more and
more as I go through life thatit's not about this, it's about
this, it's about therelationship and the handholding
and the connection betweenfamilies, and it doesn't matter
what the hell's going on.
Can I swear, by the way, Ishould-.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Say whatever you
want.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
It really doesn't matter what is going on in the
world, but what's important tome is to see my baby girl's eyes
, to see my son holding my hand,to see the connection and how
close they look between myhusband and my son.
All those connections get lostwhen you're dealing with nature
and everything else behind you.
But when you simplify that downand just say I just want to see

(19:12):
the eyes and I want to lightthose, then you could really
start to see the connectionsbetween families.
So we said we're going to dothat.
And again, that's not foreverybody.
Like you said, there are peoplethat are like wait, can I have
it in color?
And I'm like no, if you wantcolor, there's 9 billion
photographers out there that'lldo it in color.
I want you to look on your walland not see anything but the
eyes and the expression.

(19:32):
That's what your focus shouldbe on when you're looking at a
family portrait.
In my opinion, that's just whatwe do.
Sure, yeah, so that's Now withpets.
It's very similar.
Again, a lot of.
There's always a when peoplecall this is big in weddings.
I just want candid portraits.
I don't want anything posed, Ijust want to be like frolicking
through the fields and I'm likethat's great, do you know how to

(19:54):
do that?
And they're like, well, that'swhat you're for.
I'm like I can't make you becandid.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
Right, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
That's a very hard thing to do and not very many
people can just make it lookgood.
While you're photographing ityou might be laughing, but every
mom's going to be like I don'tlike that.
You know what?
I'm talking about?
I know exactly what you'retalking about Big giggles and
you're like, well, that lookslike crap on videos or on film,
and so that was always very hard.
And so with pets, you see, Ilove I actually love the pet

(20:30):
portraits where they catch themor like eating food.
I think that's freaking cool ashell, but that's just a funny
factor when I'm looking on thewall with my dog.
I don't want it to be abouteverything else.
I want a simple background thatdoesn't compete, and I want it
to be just showcasing my dog'sfur, the different hues.
You know Abby's got the, the,the she's very white now and I
want that to come across.
Yeah, I don't want to.
You know what I mean, so I.
So for us, we went to a verysimplified portrait to showcase

(20:53):
the details of the pet the eyes,the tongue like she has a black
spot on her tongue, I wantedthat to come out.
Her little whisker, you knowall that stuff so have you found
since you went from?

Speaker 1 (21:03):
I don't have a better word for it.
So I'll say generalist from aphotography standpoint, to hey,
we're going to do these petportraits and we're going to do
this black and white in studioportraits fine art.
You started to grow, or startedto grow with the right type of
clients, the people you want todeal with, versus the everybody

(21:23):
else's.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
That is a tough question.
So I think we are seeing ashift and there are people that
ask questions because somepeople don't.
They will for some reason.
They'll get on, they'll fillout a form.
Maybe they found us on Facebookand then they still ask the
questions and they're like waitwhat?
It's only in black and white.
If I do a family session, thenwe have to explain it to them
and we're like look on ourwebsite.
I want you to be comfortablewith our style before you see it
, but I would say there's beenvery rarely does somebody come

(21:55):
in and go whoa, I didn't know itwas only going to be like this.
I prefer this.
They just don't book.
They like the difference.
I think more so I.
People love that we are allowinga pet to come into a studio to
give something that they aren'tseeing already.
They aren't.
They aren't wanting from us therun through the field dog

(22:17):
portrait, which is really coolIf you've got the dogs that love
to do that and you catch it andit's you know.
But that's.
They come into us because ourteam explains to them.
We want this to be about thedetails and the relationship
between you and your pet and wedon't want any distractions.
We don't want squirrels,squirrels, so literally.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yeah, Now you get the picture of the ass into that
dog, tear it off after thesquirrel.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Exactly You're like well, that sounds like them.
So I don't.
I feel like we are growing in.
So I don't, I feel like we aregrowing in.
If we were in Nebraska doingthis, I don't know if we would
have the crowd to support us,because there's just not as much
population, which stinks.
I wish we could still be therein some ways, but I think that a
lot of people are starting tonotice this now.
We've only been in town fouryears.

(23:00):
I bet it takes another 10 to 15years before us to be a
household name because it's justso big.
So I would like to think thatgrowing and continuing to go on
people are like if you wantblack and white for your family,
this is where you go.
If you want simple, fine art ofyour pet, this is where you go.
Yeah, that's what I want.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
That's cool.
I love that.
And that clarity is good too,because when you don't have that
clarity as an entrepreneur, youcan waste a lot of time chasing
different things and you know,and to try well, that didn't
work.
Well, it didn't work, what?
It didn't work for three days,it didn't work for a week, it
didn't work for six months, what, what didn't work.
And a lot of times I at least Iknow with me.

(23:37):
If I try something or I takemyself down a path and I know
it's something I really don'twant to do and I have no
interest in, I willself-sabotage the hell out of
that thing.
Well, that didn't work.
And now the thing is, I couldhave made it work Right, but I
didn't want to.
And maybe it was a teamcollaboration, maybe it was
whatever, but at the end of theday, if I'm not excited about it

(24:00):
and passionate about it andable to convey the value behind
it, it's not going to work.
It's not going to work.
And so, you know, entrepreneursspend so much time chasing the
next big thing or the next shinyobject product to pull into
their business.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Photographers are bad at that.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Right Now we're doing drones, now we're doing video,
now we're doing all these thingsand I'm like, okay, you can
offer all those things.
Are you exceptional at allthose things?
Because at my wedding, if I'mgoing to have a photographer for
a wedding, I want the best onethat I can afford who has a
style that I enjoy.
If I'm gonna have avideographer, devon and I got

(24:43):
married a long time ago.
We were dirt poor, we, I thinksomeone held like a little like
hand, hand cam or whatever theyused to call them.
You don't talk about in mycloset yeah, there you go.
you know exactly what I'mtalking about and you know.
Know, that's how we recorded.
The wedding Photographer wasdirt cheap and we got our

(25:03):
pictures from our wedding and wedo have a lovely tacky album
that has all of our pictures inthere, but the best pictures
that we have.
We put disposable cameras oneverybody's tables.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yep and they took pictures.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
And then we went and took like a hundred of these
things to the, the photo store,and got them developed and
developed.
People don't even know what I'mtalking about right now oh yeah
, and you got like five.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
You're like, okay, well, out of that group of 25,
didn't they have like 25 shots,or yeah, they were like 25 shots
.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
You might get five or six that were good, but these
people were wasted at ourwedding man, they got screwed up
and there was an open.
We got married two weeks afterI graduated from college, so a
lot of our invite lists werelike all of our college friends
and it was supposed to be a cashbar.
Cash bar man.
I thought people brought a lotof money to my wedding to
celebrate us because people,there was just plates on top of

(25:55):
bottles, all the tables arecovered in bottles.
Well, someone's like Josh, letme buy you a beer.
I'm like, all right.
Well, I go over there and Inoticed there was no money
transacted.
I said, hey, man, you got topay the bartender.
He's like no, that's the funnypart, I'm buying you a beer, but
it's a cash or a open bar.
And I'm like what we?
We're like.
Two hours in and I find out andit became a whole thing and it

(26:16):
ended up working out fine.
But oh yeah, they were goinghard at our wedding.
So these pictures were total dogshit.
I mean, they were horrible, butsome of them were just
hysterical and so fun when welook back on it.
But the point I was trying tomake before I started thinking
about that silliness was, youknow, now they're doing drones.
They're doing video.
They're doing now they're doingdrones.
They're doing video.

(26:36):
They're doing weddings.
They're doing commercials for,for businesses.
They're doing all this stuff.
Is any of it exceptional?
Is any of it where, like, yourpassion is really behind and
like what happened, if you weredoing the part you were
passionate about, yeah, I feellike you'd sell a lot more of it
.
It would reflect in your workand cause.
We've had God, we we've hadideas of spinning off so many

(26:58):
things over the years andeverything always took a
backseat to the training of thedogs, because that was our main
thing and it was also what wewere most passionate about, and
so if we tried to do somethingtoo soon, it would never really
take off enough, and for me, wecould have forced it, but we

(27:18):
didn't have the right support,we didn't have the right
leadership in place on thetraining side for me to take
energy and go towards boardingand daycare.
Or you know, we we started amedia company last year, you
know, and some other stuff thatwe're doing, or like the
coaching program and stuff likewe couldn't have done any of
that if we hadn't got the rightpeople in place.

(27:38):
Yeah, to create margin for meto step aside a little bit from
the training thing and notsacrifice the quality, our
reputation and what we're knownfor because everyone's like.
I want sunny to take thesepictures.
You know pictures.
I want Josh to train my dog.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yeah, that was the biggest hurdle.
That was one of the big reasonswhy you moved.
And I think that's the biggestthing.
People bite off so much andthey never do anything really
good.
And then every area suffers andyou're like, why is everything
going down?
This one, I thought, was greatwhen in reality, you didn't have
SOPs in place, you didn't havethe right people there to run
that so that you could grow.

(28:19):
You're exactly right.
I mean, we've talked aboutother things before.
We've talked about expanding.
I still want to expand, but Iwill not expand until I have
this so concrete, solid herethat we're good.
And if that means we only we'dnever opened number two, that
means we never opened number two.
But I don't want to jeopardizemy life and and and we tell

(28:41):
people like this is our breadand butter, like this is a girl
that brought you to the dance.
You can't forget about herbecause, otherwise you're
screwed and I don't have otherforms of retirement, just
chilling waiting for me Like oh,we're good.
This is just a hobby.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Well, I would tell anybody who's and you and I
talked about this that when wesat down for coffee that day,
because you talked about wantingto expand and maybe go to
another city and and stuff likethat and I think I told you this
when we talked before because II scaled very quickly and I
don't mean that like, oh, I'mjust the man and I scaled
quickly.
No, I was too damn stupid torealize I shouldn't and and so I
did.
It was such a nightmare andbecause I didn't have the right

(29:22):
people and I expected people tocare as much as me and all of
those things and I wasn'tequipping them to care as much
as me, I wasn't compensatingthem to care as much as me.
I was so weak as a leader backthen to think that I could do
that was really asinine.
The fact that we still havethose places today is really a

(29:45):
miracle and dude probably justsure will of me not quitting and
refusing to ever quit.
But now I look at it and I lookat over the last couple of
years.
We have incredible peopleleading these things, several
which you've met, got to spendsome time with through apex and
stuff we have a great team gosh,I am very.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
I wish I had that.
We're still working on that andwe're getting closer, but, like
you said, you have a great teamin place.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Man, I can't even imagine well, you know, I'm like
finally, like I got some peopleI deserve man, because I wasted
a lot of time on a bunch ofduds for a long, long time and
but again, that's a reflectionof what I was willing to accept
as a leader Right, and I wasprobably only willing to accept
lesser leaders because I myselfwas a lesser leader.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Oh, I think that is a nail on the head there, and I
still think that I struggle withthat all the time.
I tell Shane I don't feel likeI'm a good enough leader, shane,
I don't think I'm doing goodenough for him.
I don't think I'm being thatperson.
He's like you do more than youthink you do, but you're
comparing yourself to people inApex, and that's what I do.
So I'm like I look at you.
I'm like, wow, look at what heis accomplishing and look what

(30:54):
he's doing.
And then I look at other peoplethat are in different
industries, but they're stillgrowing, and I'm like I'm not
doing enough, I'm not givingenough to my people.
But then I step back andrealize, okay, I'm not as big as
some of these, I can't offerthe salaries quite yet, I can't
offer all of that yet, but Istill feel like I'm not as good
and maybe that'll never go away.

(31:14):
Hopefully it doesn't, becausethen I won't ever strive to be
better.
Well, yeah, you want to striveand grow.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
That's who you are right like.
It's you.
The big, huge lesson for methat that I I was just talking
to my mother about this lastnight.
Well, we, every sunday we dosunday supper.
My mom, my grandmother comesover.
Sometimes friends will join usor whatever, and last night we
happened to go over to somereally good friends of ours

(31:40):
house and we all went and sowe're all pretty tight and we're
having dinner and some peopleare outside, my mom and I are
inside, we're talking and I saidI got to get better about oh, I
said Kiki's curse and I hopeshe learns to manage it better
than I have in my life.
I never see the moment rightLike.
We will hit milestones, we willachieve objectives, we will

(32:00):
crush goals, and I am so farahead already onto what's coming
next, where I think thedirection we're going.
I do not get distracted at allor entertained at all or really
any pleasure fromaccomplishments.
Now, the flip side of that iswhen I fuck up and we have a
failure or we get our ass handedto us, I can extract a lesson

(32:24):
really quickly and move on.
I don't get hung up on thateither because I'm I'm still so
forward focused.
And the thing that I've thelast couple of years I've really
tried to take it and recognizeis and I bring it back to the
people part Like I do recognizeand I am very proud of the small
group of people who we've beenable to raise up as leaders into

(32:47):
certain positions where they'vebeen able to start building
their own businesses within ourorganization Right and grow and
develop.
I am so proud of that, I'm soproud of that and I recognize
that achievement because I seeit, I recognize how difficult it
is to do what they've done andthat's the part where I can
celebrate and pay attention.

(33:09):
But I think I'm only able tocelebrate that because they're
the handful of people I stilldeal with directly.
So my leadership lesson for methat I learned was I can't deal
with everybody.
If I do, I'm terrible, I getfrustrated, I don't lead or
coach well.
And Katie Yergin, who you knowshe worked real hard.

(33:29):
She's like okay, look, let metake this off of you.
These are now my people, I talkto these, but you just talk to
me, right, and I will handlethem.
And so now I've got my headtrainers who I deal with, who
run my locations, I've got myexecutive team who I deal with,
and I've got my executiveassistant.
Everybody else I don't talk to,I don't interview, I don't hire

(33:51):
, I don't know if they know me,you know I.
I mean they know me, but like Ican't, I don't have the
bandwidth to pour into them.
But if I can take everything Igot and pour into my top people,
they can trickle that down.
And that was the part I was notgood at when I first started
scaling.
I was just plugging whoever inplace that wanted a job and I'm

(34:14):
like I can motivate them to careas much as me and get them
going.
And so, as you do have thisthought process of scaling right
, it's like who's coming up withyou right now?
That is that growth mindset.
Is that, hey, whatever day itis, whatever time of day, you
know, sonny, you know I got yourback, I can step in.

(34:35):
Who's that person that your teamorganically goes to, whether
title or not?
Who's that person that yourteam organically goes to,
whether title or not?
Who's that person that yourteam organically goes to for
advice care?
Hey, I screwed this up.
What would you have donedifferent?
Cause we all have those peopleon our teams and now you're
starting to identify who thoseleaders are.
It's not the loudest, it's notthe most outspoken, it's the

(34:56):
most visible person.
A lot of times like who,organically, does the team trust
, who do they go to?
And if you have that personfrom within now you can start to
build with them right, andwe've we've sent a lot of people
out from virginia to lead ourtexas, to lead wisconsin, to
lead detroit.
You know different placesacross the country, but they've

(35:16):
all come up from within and sowe know them, they know culture
and they just get poured intofrom us.
But I'm able to pour real heavyon them because I'm not pouring
into everybody.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Everybody, yeah.
And that's where we're justgetting to that point where
Jamie's been with us for 10years and she really does a lot
and I.
It sounds silly, but I see itin Carter.
He is, he is the.
He's very good at not lettingthe emotion part get to him
because he's a numbers guy likeShane, but he sees the bigger
picture and he's like I need, weneed this and this and we need

(35:50):
to move towards this area.
And he's like it's okay, mom,we had a down week, but we're
still up on the month, so we canhave a bad week as long as we
catch back.
Like he sees that.
And so a part of me is kind ofbeing selfish, like I don't I
want him to stay with us forlife, but I know that that will
probably not happen unless wecan continue to pour into him

(36:12):
enough, Cause he's.
He's the type of person.
I don't know about Logan, butyou got to continually give him
something that he can chew on.
He's got to be going, becauseotherwise he'll be bored, He'll
get content and then he's goingto lose the bigger picture.
But if he sees he'smoney-driven, which isn't it
Well, you got to be a littlemoney-driven, Otherwise what
else are you doing it for?

Speaker 1 (36:31):
Well, for sure, because money, you can say what
you want about it, but like,well, it's about my family.
I'm like, well, do you like tofeed your family?
Does your family like to readwith lights on?
Ooh, that warm water sure feltnice, didn't it this morning?
Like, that takes money Untilthey come up with a different
way to pay for this shit.
Money solves a lot of theheadaches, and so there's a lot

(36:55):
of people who used to work forus over the years and you know
their big insult towards me.
Shit on Josh is, all he caresabout is the numbers, the money.
It's just the money side of it.
Like, well, I mean, it's prettydamn important.
I mean, this is how I take careof my family, this is how I
take care of your family.
Actually, you know these peoplewho want to say these things I
can stop caring about the money.
Sure, stop caring about themoney.

(37:19):
Sure, I'll stop caring aboutthe money and you won't have a
job, right?
So, yes, do I care about themoney?
Yeah, do I care about the moneymore than the dogs?
No, because I know, if we don'tcare about the dogs and do
right by the dogs and do rightby the clients.
The money doesn't come likewhat the hell you know, and so
it's just people's mindsets andthe shifts and like you're
talking about with carter.
The thing that's really cooland like what I've noticed with
logan in one of the main thingsI'm so excited about logan being

(37:41):
a part of what we're doing iscarter sees stuff from such a
different vantage point than youguys yes, we just went over
this two weeks ago yeah, andthat's not a bad thing at all no
, I'm super excited for it,because he comes back and we're
like I didn't even realize thatand he's like, yeah, this, it
has changed us already.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
in the last he's only been with us three months.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
And it has changed our world of thinking already.
Just because of those littlethings, like you said, like you,
just you gaze over it every dayand you don't even realize that
there's an issue or maybe a newperspective, or from his world
or making it all these thingsare coming into play.
Now we're like wow, my biggestthing is I've had to stop.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Like he has a lot of why questions.
He's like okay, and I operatefrom the standpoint of like dude
, just you know, like you don'tknow this.
Well, no, dad, I'm freaking 19years old, I just started
working for you.
I don't know jack shit aboutthis or really any other real
life type stuff you're supposedto teach me, right, and he

(38:47):
doesn't raise his voice andyou're yelling at me, but I'm
the one who asked me why and I'mlike bro cuz huh, you know I'll
be like, just do.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
He's like why, why does it work like that?
I'm like well, how do you notknow?
It works, like like it, just itjust works right it's like I
want to know why and I'm like,okay, take a step back, sunny.
Like clearly he wants it'scrazy the, the similarities, and
again, he would have neverjumped into this yeah I don't
think at all pop on here.
It's crazy to me.
I love it it is.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Is your father getting better at explaining um
things in the last couple monthssince you joined?
The laugh says it all, nevermind yes, I'm out yes, and god.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, I appreciate that recording ourselves when we
talk to carter, because when hecomes home, you know, like I
don't have the big cheerleaderright now because he's in sales
in the studio, and so I'm alwayslike you know, go crush it
today, bud You're.
You know all the right peopleare coming in today and and
they're there for a reason, andyou know that this could be the
last portrait they ever have oftheir pet and you need to make

(39:51):
that special for them.
And he sometimes I don't, Iknow he hears, hears it, but I
don't know if it sinks in, andso I'm continuing to tell him
that he's probably like mom, Iget it, like this is, but he
kind of takes that emotion outof it sometimes and I'm like you
got to know this is emotional,this is an emotional purchase.
Yeah, 100% of our clients areemotional this.
You don't need a portrait.
No one needs a portrait.

(40:11):
It's very emotionally based andhe has to remember that when
he's dealing with people thateven if they're fat, shit, crazy
which there's good stories onthat you have to give them.
You have to be emotional.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
Yeah, you know, what's so fun is, like one of
the things that was veryunexpected to me with having a
child come work for me is that Ilove the part the podcast
wasn't necessarily the plan ofhim, like helping with it and
stuff, and when it's just me inthe studio we'll go back and
forth and talk about things anddifferent stuff on the show.
But the education he's gettingfrom just some of the stuff you

(40:47):
said today, right, and otherpeople that we've had on, like
it's just real life educationand in spades he's learning so
much more about real life, justreal life, and how to be a human
and a good human being andlearning from people.
I love this side of it.
But one thing I've done withLogan and I would highly

(41:07):
recommend considering withCarter is that I try to include,
I'll try to invite Logan to ahandful of meetings every week
that have nothing to do withwhat he's doing, just to expose
them to different parts of it.
And so if, if we're you know,maybe it's banking, maybe it's
accounting, maybe it's, you know, sales, maybe it's market, who

(41:29):
cares?
Like my coaching callssometimes, unless they have
stuff that they need to talkabout, know, I'll ask and if
it's fine, I'll bring them in.
But I try to involve him in alot of stuff because the hope is
my hope is that he wants towork with me right, not for me,
but with me for a long time.

(41:50):
Like there'd be no greaterhonor for me than if my son, if
we build something, my sondecides he wants to be a part of
no pressure.
Logan no pressure logan nopressure, but at the same time I
want him to be exposed to somuch stuff because he already
knows well.
I'd have no greater honor andreally I guess I would have a
greater honor the greatest honorwould know that my son is

(42:11):
choosing to do exactly what hewants to do and that he knows
mom and I would support thatRight and that to me.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Him knowing that and I think he does know that Cause
you don't want them to come inand be like I'm doing this for
my dad, but it's not my passion.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
Like you, you still want them to genuinely be happy
about it.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
And that's where we are with Carter too.
And when you say, bring theminto different things, it's so
funny.
You should say that we are somuch alike.
I say that we are so much alike.
I love finding couples thatthat share the same things, and
I think I've never I did nothave that till I moved to Dallas
, until I joined Apex and reallygot out of just the photography
world.
I didn't realize that therewere other people that had

(42:49):
families that did this.
I know it's crazy, but you justthrew in their bubble, so weird
.
Other families do this, butShane and I.
Shane will do that.
He will have, we haveinvestments with some people and
he will be like Carter, I wantyou to sit in on this call or
tax prep.
I want you to sit in on taxing.
I want you to listen to myaccountant and how they're
talking about things.
And it's, in my opinion,because he told us he's not

(43:12):
going to college.
It's just not his life.
He doesn't want it, he's he's.
That's not the person he is andwe said that's fine.
What are you going to do?
What do you want to go do?
Do you want to?
You know, and he's, he islearning his life lessons.
He is learning life and how todo business with us and I would
rather invest in you know he'sgoing to.
I'm going to send him to astudent and minor and let him

(43:35):
sit in for that.
Two day sales.
So that he can bring value toour team Because I can only do
one day.
I was like, well, I can get himthere both days, so I'm going
to send him there, but I'msending him in with expectations
.
I need five things I can bringback to my communication team
for bookings.
I need five things you can doin studio for sales.
That is your mission and we'redoing these things for him and
I'm spending a thousand bucks onit, but that is nothing

(43:59):
compared to what he would havespent in college and the lessons
in the rooms that he's going tobe in priceless, priceless.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
So that's such a great point.
Yeah, such a great.
That's what we're doing talk totalk to the listeners about
sunny af this is my passiondon't tell them about this,
because this is one of myfavorite things about you and I
love a lot of things about you.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
I just think you're great and but, but talk to
people the mission behind thissunny as fuck it's sunny as fuck
, okay, so sunny af came aboutabout a year ago and I was
sitting with, do you know, bijalyes okay.
So we were at an event and I wasexplaining to her what I wanted

(44:42):
to do and I was like here's thedeal.
You know delilah, which youprobably remember, delilah, like
she's the talk show radio atnight.
You know she's like lovesomeone tonight, kind of deal
with all this calm voice,delilah, she's still on, by the
way.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Is she no idea?

Speaker 2 (44:56):
Yes, wow, I was like holy shit Delilah's on the radio
.
So in my mind, I always wantedto be the person who gave you
good news during the day.
I'm tired of the politics Imean we're talking.

(45:16):
This has been like 10 years ago.
I was like I'm tired of the BS.
I'm tired of news just preyingon bad things to make people
talk about drama and get themall scared and all this bullshit
.
Right, and I said I just wantto make people happy, it's all I
want to do.
So I have a video and it's goingto come up in sunny AF at some
point, where I'm in my wintercoat and I told Ava I'm going to
make these signs and we'regoing to go stand on the road
and they're just going to sayyou are beautiful, make it a
wonderful day or have an amazingday.
And I stood on the side of theroad and I would just hold this

(45:40):
sign up and it was freezing.
It was cold as fuck in Nebraskaat that time and as many honks
as I would get, it would justgive me this.
I think it's endorphins, Idon't know.
It just made me feel good and Iwas like God, if I can do this
all day.
I would just make people feelgood all day long.
I just want to talk about howamazing they are and do this.
And so when I said that to Bijal, I said but the problem is I

(46:02):
swear, so I can never be on theradio.
Plus, radio doesn't pay worthshit, and I'm not going to do
that.
So I still got to make money.
Right, it comes down to like Istill got to pay for my family,
but I've always wanted to havethat avenue that I did on my own
.
You know, my husband and I dothe studio together and that's
us.
But I want to be, I want tobring something to the table for
us and how it's better.
Can I do this for not onlymyself, but to show my kids that

(46:26):
when you're helping otherpeople, that's so fucking
awesome you.
It just makes you feel better.
And so Sunny AF, can she's likewell, so you're sunny as fuck
and I'm like yes, I am, I am I'mnot going to hide it anymore
that I swear.
I think you can be a person whoswears and not be a bad person.
And my kids know this becausethey don't swear, but they know

(46:47):
I swear and they know when it'sappropriate and when it's not.
And so that came about.
And so then I started speakingwith some people on YouTube.
You know I'm working with Owenand I was like I want to be the
person who can do everydaythings.
I have a lot of mom experience.
I have a lot of entrepreneurexperience.
I have a lot of marriedexperience.
Let's be honest, you and I are,like in the top 1% of people

(47:10):
still married and those thatcrush it, just crush it.
We win in all facets.
I'm like dude I know a lot.
I know I know I don't know shitabout fuck, but I do know some
things about some things.
So I wanted to be that personand so I am now creating videos

(47:30):
for people to make them laughwhile learning experiences or
just talking them through lifeexperiences.
Whether it's mom, entrepreneur,marriage, I want to appeal to
everyone.
I don't want to be like soniche in that.
I just want to make peoplefucking smile and have a good
time and forget about all thestupid bullshit that's happening
in the world, because I'mtelling you there are so many

(47:51):
people that get fixated on that.
My dad and my brother are that.
Sorry, dad and bro, but they do.
They get so fixated on theworld's coming to an end and if
this doesn't happen, we're allfucked and that's all their mind
thinks about.
And I think laughter is the bestmedicine.
I will be the dumb ass for you.
I will be the dumb ass for you.
I will look like a total idiot.
I don't care.
I think that's why our marriageworks better.

(48:12):
Sometimes, like yesterday, Ijumped on top of Shane in the
wine room and Charlie wassitting next to us.
I go, you think I'm weird.
Right, he's like yep, and I'mlike, so I don't give a shit
Like I want them to do us ahealthy marriage, a healthy
relationship with you know our,our views on Christianity, all
that is very important to me,but I still think you just need
to have fun and swear a littlebit.

(48:33):
Fuck the world.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
Hey, I agree, I can't you know I yeah, I mean I agree
with you and I think it's great.
And I think that I mean when youwalk in a room, I mean just the
whole vibe and dynamic changesbecause literally when you walk
in a room, it's just bringinglike joyfulness, right, and it
doesn't mean like every day isjust like you know, perfect and

(48:56):
all those things.
It doesn't mean you're nothaving stressors and challenges
at work and with the businessand stuff like that.
I just appreciate how, when I'maround you, when I've seen you
and able to spend time with you,you very much are able to be in
the moments and elevate andbring that happiness to
situations, To bring happinessto someone who really may not be

(49:20):
having a great time right now.
And even if you're not having agreat time right now, you're
going to bring a smile, alightness, a lightheartedness to
a situation that's going tohelp people, help someone deal
with something.
And I just I just think that'samazing.
When I had coffee with withsunny last year um, we're coming

(49:43):
up on a year now, I guess.
Since that, it probably wasmarch last year.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah, and you were just like 10 minutes from my
house.
I was like I've never even beenhere.
I didn't even know there was acoffee shop here.
That's what happens in Dallas.
You could be in some new spotevery day, and never Every day.
You never even know it.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
She told me about an app for couples called Ask Bay.
Right, and I downloaded itwhile we were at coffee and what
it does is it sends a prompt toyou and your partner daily with
questions and you can do morethan one question.
We did two questions for awhile.
I was like man, we need to goback to one.
But you know you can also dolike an explicit version, which

(50:22):
is pretty fun.
Ignore that.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
I haven't done that yet.
Did you do it?

Speaker 1 (50:25):
That's pretty fun.
Yeah, you got to turn that oneon.
That's a fun.
Yeah, you got to turn that oneon, that's a good time.
But I'm on like 345 days ofanswering questions on this
thing and so, yeah, we reallylove it.
Ask Bay A-S-K-B-A-E is the app.
Guys, you should check it out.
And it forces you to take amoment, regardless of what's

(50:48):
going on in your crazy busy day.
It pushes you to take a momentand just think about your
partner and it'll.
It'll prompt memories, it'llprompt conversation.
Um, it's, I'm a go-go areasthat you're know.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
I mean you've been married 20 years right.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
It's 20 years, right, yeah, 20.
This will be 22.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Damn it.
Okay, you got me, that's okay.
You're a little older than me,but that's okay.
Okay, so I find still after 20years, that there are some
things you want to tell yourspouse but you don't know how to
tell them without being a totalbitch.
Or like you know, like I wantmore of this.
Like why do you always do this?
It fucking pisses me off.

(51:35):
And some of the questions allowyou to just be open and honest
and say that.
And then you're like and ithappened just last week he's
like I had no idea that youreally wanted more of that.
That makes you happy and I'mlike, yeah, it's like really

(51:55):
simple, but I really love it andI don't want to question was.
It was like what is one way thatI can make you feel special
every day that I might not evenknow I do, and I'm like perfect,
this is the opportunity for meto tell him X, y and Z, and
that's what I love about it.
And I think maybe you don'thave that, but I do and and I'm
like how is it that I've beenwith you 20 years and there's
still some things I and I don'twant to say, I'm scared to say,
but you just don't know how tosay them right?

Speaker 1 (52:13):
and well, yeah, I think for me a lot of times like
it with devin, you know, andmore so me than devin, I could
say whatever to her.
But, man, if she miswordedsomething because I'm just a
very sensitive person, right,like I'd be like 20 years and
you didn't, I didn't know, likeI would immediately go into like
this guilt thing and I don'thave that feeling with a lot of
people, but with Devin, becauseI truly do want to be my best

(52:36):
for her and, you know, make sureshe is happy and fulfilled and
that she's loved and supportedand all those things in every
way possible.
And to find out I was lackingin something would, would really
upset me.
But at the same time, too, Iwould then look to try to fix it
and you know, and then wewouldn't have to anymore.
But but that app has led tosome of the funniest

(52:59):
conversations for us and I justreally really appreciate it.
I mean, it's probably one ofit's, it's top five in the last
five years.
It was a top five, mostimpactful thing that I have
implemented into my life andit's so great it's just a stupid
, silly little app, but it's anawesome thing.
It is such a cool thing and Ijust I don't know.

(53:21):
I mean I personally a couplethings.
One, I can't wait to hang outwith you guys again.
You guys are a ton of fun um.
Two, I look, really lookforward to you and devin getting
to know each other more when wemake the move out there,
because you guys will get alongfreaking great.
Um.
Three, couples retreat hasmoved to later in the year.

(53:41):
It's not happening in april, soI'll send you info.
Um, too many people hadconflicts and too many people
that really wanted to go hadconflicts, and so I just decided
to reschedule it to later inthe year.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
So don't do September please.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
No, it's not September.
It's not September.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Cause we're going to Europe for our 20.
Gotcha, that's a great makingthat happen.
I don't know how, but I'mmaking it happen.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
It'll be fun.
No, I'm thinking it'll probablybe like November, early
December timeframe, so, but I'llsend details to you.
But, sonny, I can't thank youenough for taking the time to
come on here and talk toeverybody um share you and your
personality, and you know what Ihave no idea if your listeners
are gonna like me or not, sothere might not be any views.
They'll be like wow, you put achick on like I can assure you

(54:29):
my grandmother will think you'rea trip and she always watches.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
I always get my grandma for spraying so much.
I am so jealous of your sundaynight dinners.
I'm telling you that is that isthat's like a life goal for me,
to make sure my kids stay closeand we try to have dinners as
much as we can.
There's so many statisticsabout having dinners with your
children yeah that I absolutelylove, but the family dinner
later on, that's the one thing Ido miss, because I don't have
any family here really, and wedo get together with the one

(54:54):
brother.
But anyways that when you saidthat, that that kind of hit me
and and it falls in line withour relationship retreats that
we do once a month, shane and Ium, yeah, which I think is
awesome.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Actually, before I let you go, please drop that bit
of wisdom to talk about that,what you and shane do.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Okay.
So about it was about a yearago.
I told Shane I wanted to take avacation every month and he was
like Whoa, can't afford thatsweet pea.
So we decided to make it alittle simpler and I said what
if we make it a retreat to workon our relationship?
Because again, just like theapp, I think you take your
partner for granted and that'sthe easiest way for things to go

(55:29):
downhill Like fast is if youdon't put your spouse first,
right below God for us, but yourspouse right up at the top.
And so we decided to do what wecall relation retreats and it
is once a month, no exceptions.
Two days away.
Now I know people have somesmall children so that's really
tough unless you have a grandma,grandpa in town.
Maybe just do a one-nighter.
But for us it took two daysbecause we work together.

(55:50):
So the first day we're notallowed to talk about anything,
work at all, nothing, becausethat's like one of the hardest
things for us to do.
So we don't do that.
We.
We talk to each other, we read,we spend time together just
really doing us stuff.
And then, number two day, wecan talk about work if we want,
but the the biggest thing isit's two days.
We try new spots.
We don't eat any fast food.

(56:12):
I guess you could say Like wewent to Granbury, Texas, so we
had to eat local food.
We have to meet local peopleand spend money with locals so
that we're supporting theirbusinesses.
We're learning more aboutourselves.
We're trying new things.
We're not just going to Denny'sand having breakfast because we
know they'll have an egg omeletand so we do that every month.

(56:36):
Some days it's expensive, mosttimes it's not.
Most times it might just be inDallas, but if I find a cheap
flight on Google I'm like, hey,we can do round trip for 150
bucks.
We're going to fly to Bismarck,north Dakota Random ass places,
and we find cool Airbnb's andwe work on us.
That's the key.
You have to work on each other.
I love it, because otherwisenothing works.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
I couldn't agree more .
I think that's kind of fun Wayto lead the way with that,
because people do not prioritizethat stuff enough.

Speaker 2 (57:04):
No, that I can't even tell you how many couples I see
, that I'm like, I'm not acounselor and I can't tell you
what to do, but I can tell youthat the way you talk about your
spouse or the things you don'tdo with your spouse right now
are going to lead you down aroad that you're not going to
like and you're not going toknow it till it's too late.
Yeah, so really important.

(57:24):
It is deep stuff, it is.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
We could do a whole other one on that stuff.
We should do a marriage onenext time we should have Shane
and Devin on and we'll do, ornext time we're in Dallas,
that's what we'll do.
We'll go in studio and do thefour of us and we'll talk about
20 years plus marriage advice.
The imperfect perfection of theDwyer and Wilson marriage.
Dwyer and Wilson.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
Dwyer Wilson.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Throw down.
That would be good.
All right, girl.
Well, look, I appreciate you.
I'm going to holler at you nexttime in town so we can catch up
.
Thank you, it'll be so good tosee you.
Thank you for coming on.
I really appreciate it.
You're always so much fun.
You made my day exponentiallyhigher today Just thinking to
spend some time with you.
Day exponentially higher today,you know, just by getting to
spend some time with you.
So how can we, how can peoplefind you?

(58:12):
How can they learn more aboutyou?

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Um, so I'm big, big big on Facebook.
I'm on Instagram, but Facebookis my jam.
So if you really want to keepup with some cool stuff, you can
check out Facebook.
My YouTube is up and runningand I'm getting more and more
and more going on there.
It's the real Sunny AF onYouTube, super excited about
that, to keep going.
So if you just want to laugh,go to YouTube.

(58:36):
But you want to see my everydaylife and just how I roll as a
mom and an entrepreneur,facebook's the best way to
connect with me and I lovehelping people.
If you've got a business or amarriage or anything that you're
just like hey, I just want toknow what to do when my daughter
turns 16.
Do you lock her up?
Not cool talking about that.
You not cool talking about that.
You're like, yeah, you lock herthe fuck up, get her inside.
We just say we have oneprincess, she gets whatever she
wants, but if anybody steps onher, we're gonna kill her.

(58:58):
And she's like I have no qualmsusing my guns, like I'm just
like I said through the otherday.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
I said, sweetheart, I said look, you don't got to
settle to find the right boy.
You know that you don't settle.
You have standards and I reallyappreciate the fact and if you
just settled for some dusty assboy like I would probably be in
jail.
Do you want your daddy to go tojail?
No, daddy, if I kept talking toso-and-so, I would.
You would have definitely beenin jail.

(59:23):
I'm like wait a minute, whenwas this?
She was last summer, but thatobviously didn't go nowhere.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
I'm like okay, all right thank god I didn't meet
that loser, yeah for real.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
For real, it gosh.
It's such a funny thing.
But you were right and loganknows the deal.
Oh, the princess, the princessyou know can do no wrong.
Princess gets a few months.
Logan just looks and shakes hishead, he goes.
If I said that to you I wouldhave been potentially murdered,
like, if I wasn't murdered, Iwould have at least been very,
uh, punished and he's like.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
He's like you ate yesterday.
What do you want food for today?
Go find something on your owndumbass.
Yeah, can I go to olive garden?
Yes, sweetie, you can go.
Take a friend, you're good.

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
No worries, here's the credit card.
Sorry, logan, can't help it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
Yeah so sorry it is and we're glad we only have one
princess, but you know what itteaches them how to treat women.
They understand when they havea daughter someday.
And the storms came throughyesterday and this is totally
off subject a little bit, butCarter was like mom, you're so
paranoid, don't worry, Dad'sfine, he cause.
He was driving and Carter washome with me.
Ava was in Florida, charlie wasat baseball practice and I'm

(01:00:27):
worried about the studio.
The studio is open, there'sgirls there, there's a tornado
that did touch down rightbetween us.
We had major hail and I'mfreaking out and I'm texting
people and he's like mom, stop,you're just making people even
more worried.
And I go until you have a wifeand children and a business that
you have to support and youknow that their lives are on the
line.
You no idea what I'm goingthrough and I may be a little

(01:00:50):
over the top, but I'd ratherthat than just be like they're
fine, whatever I, it's the mamathing.
It's like I can't.
And shane's like yeah, he justdoesn't understand.
He has no skin in the game,doesn't matter if the cars get
blown up and the kids andeverything, so right, they don't
know until they know, and thensomeday they're gonna look back
and go.
You're right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Yes, you're right.
You guys always are.
So that's how it goes.
I appreciate you, sonny.
I'm going to catch you nexttime.
Guys, please feel free to leavesome feedback.
Share the show If you felt likeit added any value, if it made
you laugh and dammit you knowthat it did you definitely need
to send it to somebody who needsa smile.
Leave her reviews.
We'll put on here how to get ahold of Sunny if you're

(01:01:31):
interested in learning more andfollowing her content.
We'll catch you next time onthe Big Dog Podcast.