Turning 40 and tuning into a new frequency

Denise Lee’s path through midlife has been anything but simple. From surviving childhood trauma to battling addiction and the pressure to live up to cultural expectations, she spent years feeling like she was running behind everyone else. But her 40s brought a wake-up call: healing isn’t about timelines or comparisons, it’s about learning to trust yourself.  In this candid conversation, Denise shares how she rebuilt her inner voice, discovered what real leadership looks like, and finally began to trust herself. If you’ve ever felt behind on life’s timeline or trapped by old patterns, this episode will show you what it means to wake up in midlife.

Guest Bio 

Denise G. Lee is a healing and leadership coach who helps high-achieving adults untangle the inner scripts they didn’t know they were living by. She works with people who look like they have it all together—but quietly wonder why it still feels hollow. In her work, Denise invites honest reflection on identity, success, and the invisible expectations we carry, especially as we age. Her podcast and coaching explore what it means to lead from emotional clarity, not cultural pressure.

Turning 40 and tuning into a new frequency

When Denise G. Lee hit her mid-30s, she was juggling new motherhood, an immigrant identity that didn’t fit neatly into any box, and the heavy weight of a painful childhood. From the outside, her life looked picture-perfect, but on the inside, Denise was still carrying chaos, addiction, and self-doubt. It wasn’t until a series of wake-up calls, including getting kicked out of a therapist’s office and facing hard truths in recovery, that she began the long process of “growing up” on the inside. Now in her 40s, Denise has stepped into a life of healing, self-trust, and authentic leadership, and she’s sharing what it really takes to get there.

Highlights from this episode:

• How Denise’s immigrant upbringing shaped her sense of identity and belonging.
• Becoming a first-time mom at 35 and wrestling with feelings of being “too old” and unprepared.
• The chaos and trauma of her childhood, and how it stunted her inner growth.
• The pivotal moment at 27 when a therapist sent her to Sexaholics Anonymous, forcing her to face her addictions and denial.
• What it meant to outgrow her environment and seek a fresh start in Texas.
• The danger of chasing image and comparison, and how Denise learned to stop living by others’ timelines.
• Redefining leadership, moving away from manipulation toward empathy, resilience, and safety.
• The ongoing process of tuning into her “inner voices” and learning to trust herself.

In this episode, you’ll hear a story that proves growth isn’t linear: it’s layered, messy, and deeply human. Denise’s journey from chaos to clarity is a reminder that midlife isn’t about hitting milestones on a set timeline. It’s about waking up, tuning into the right frequencies within yourself, and learning to lead your own life with compassion and courage.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find the show, and reminds them they’re not alone in this wild midlife transition.

Guest Resources

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Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise.