The Cure for Everything? Self-Forgiveness: Dr. Samantha Harte on Battling Addiction, Betrayal, and Rewriting Her Story

What happens when you confront your darkest moments and choose to heal, instead of staying stuck in the pain?

In this raw and inspiring episode of The Big Silence, Karena Dawn is joined by Dr. Samantha Harte, author of Breaking the Circuit. She’s a physical therapist, author, and sobriety advocate. Harte opens up about rebuilding her life after addiction and navigating a traumatic childhood. Through it all, she discovered the healing power of vulnerability and forgiveness, ultimately learning to rewire her brain and change her story.

Her picture-perfect high school existence masked unbearable pain, leading to a soul-shaking drug overdose. While navigating the challenges of sobriety in the midst of a crumbling marriage and painful loss, Samantha found herself at rock bottom. What came next was a radical reworking of her inner life and the birth of a new identity — one grounded in compassionate curiosity, revolutionary responsibility, and finally, self-forgiveness.

This conversation is a masterclass in what it means to confront your truths, rewire your mind, and write a new story — no matter how broken the past may seem.

How Do We Take Pain and Turn It Into Something Positive, Even Transformative?

Dr. Harte explains why healing begins with self-forgiveness — and how shame, silence, and perfectionism keep us stuck in destructive loops.  Learning to forgive, starting with yourself, is key to breaking free from toxic cycles.

(00:058) When Everything Looks Fine — But You’re Falling Apart Inside

• The internal divide between outward success and private suffering: “Straddling myself between these two worlds, these two identities, like everything is fine and nothing is ok.”
• A very ill-timed overdose that became a wake-up call
• The unbearable weight of feeling stuck with yourself when your inner voice becomes your fiercest critic

(00:10:04) Five Years Sober, Still Miserable: The Trap of White-Knuckling Recovery

• Perfectionism can doom sobriety: “It works until it doesn’t. Perfectionism collapses in matters of the heart.” 
• Her marriage collapses under the weight of unspoken resentment, infidelity, and untreated trauma.
• “All of those mechanisms that kept me safe as a girl were killing me as an adult.”

(00:18:30) Spiritual Rock Bottom: The Breakthrough Moment That Changed Everything

• How addiction takes hold, even when you’re convinced you have it under control
• Knowing when you’ve hit "spiritual rock bottom" and turning it into a catalyst for change
• Turning your deepest fears and pain into life-altering breakthroughs

(00:22:40) Compassionate Curiosity: The Self-Talk That Can Save Your Life

• Intercepting your inner critic with the triangle of compassionate curiosity and radical responsibility: “Why did I just do that?” and “What am I gonna do about it now?” 
• The parenting advice we all need: how apology clears shame and models emotional intelligence for your kids.

(00:31:30) Betrayal, Infidelity, and the Truth That Finally Came Out

• The loss of her sister and her declaration to write a book
• Becoming the “girl who 12-stepped the world.” Applying AA’s 12-step program to other aspects of life
• “The fear of any type of judgment absolutely collapsed.” Rising to the level of our goals and creating habits 

(00:31:30) Healing and Forgiveness: Can You Ever Forgive the Unforgivable?

• The struggle and importance of forgiving others (and yourself) in the healing process
• Why forgiving betrayal doesn’t mean condoning hurtful actions
• The spiritual and emotional liberation that comes with true forgiveness

(00:53:00) Rewiring the Mind:...