If I Were the Devil and Fiat Money was my Tool

"If I were the devil, I would promote a system where money, the lifeblood of an economy, is controlled not by tangible assets, but by mere promises and the whims of policymakers."

In this bonus episode of THE Bitcoin Podcast, I adapted "If I Were the Devil" -- a 1965 radio broadcast by Paul Harvey.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
If I were the devil, and fiat money was my tool.

(00:04):
If I were the devil, I would promote a system where money, the lifeblood of an economy,
is controlled not by tangible assets or real work, but by mere promises and the whims of
policy makers.
I would persuade people to trust in paper, convincing them that these printed notes represent
real value, despite being backed by nothing more than government decrees, ever-growing

(00:29):
debt, and the threat of violence for non-compliance.
Then I would further abstract those flimsy paper notes, turning them into ones and zeros
that could be printed digitally, with a few entries in the central bank spreadsheet, without
the nuisance of a physical printing press.
I would devalue the currency slowly, almost imperceptibly, making up some arbitrary number

(00:56):
like 2% inflation per year, and my central bankers would make up all sorts of stories
to convince the general public that this arbitrary inflation is somehow necessary for growth.
Highly regarded economists would echo the words of the central bankers, dutifully doing

(01:16):
my work for me, I would choose 2% inflation so that the people wouldn't notice they were
being robbed until it was too late.
Then I would give them scapegoats to blame, keeping my central bankers well-sheltered
from the public's fury.
I would encourage governments to print more money, to put a band-aid on short-term problems,

(01:38):
by spending on whatever programs get them re-elected, all the while stealing the wealth
of the people through the invisible tax of inflation.
I would seduce the populace into believing that this fiat system offers freedom and prosperity,
while in reality it chains them to an ever-spinning wheel of debt and boom and bust cycles, digging

(02:02):
them into a hole so deep that they will never crawl out of it.
I would create a society where the real value of labor and savings erodes, but the numbers
in bank accounts rise, creating an illusion of wealth.
I would use the productivity and efficiency gains of technology to hide the true extent

(02:23):
of the problem.
I would watch as people toil harder for money that buys less, and I would stoke the flames
of discontent by making the rich richer and the poor poorer, yet masking the true cause
behind complex financial systems and pseudo-intellectual jargon.
If the people started to realize how much inflation was hurting them, I'd give them

(02:47):
scapegoats, dutifully served to them by my political puppets.
I would always make sure the truth stayed hidden.
In the shadows, I would influence the creation of vast financial bubbles, making the economy
a casino, where the house, the big financial institutions and central banks, always wins.

(03:09):
I would lead governments into the temptation of unrestrained borrowing, spending future
generations' wealth, ensuring that nations become hopelessly mired in debt.
I would use this fiat system to erode national sovereignty, making countries dependent on
the international lending institutions, who answer not to the people, but to their own

(03:33):
clandestine agendas.
I would watch societies divide and crumble under the weight of financial crises, yet
distract them with consumerism, hollow promises of economic stimulus, and universal basic
income.
I would start wars that never end, and finance them with the creation of more money out of

(03:55):
thin air.
If I were the devil, I would hide the solution in plain sight, yet make it seem unattainable.
A return to sound money principles, where money is a store of value, and not just a
medium of exchange, controlled by the capricious winds of policy.
But I would ensure that such ideas are labeled outdated, radical, or unworkable.

(04:19):
If I were the devil, I would demonize the only solution that had a chance to shine a
light on the darkness I am brewing in this world.
That's right.
If I were the devil, I would demonize Bitcoin, I would instruct my puppets in the media and
in government to propagandize the populace, claiming Bitcoin is used by criminals and

(04:40):
terrorists and the like, even though it's my paper money that's favored by criminals,
terrorists, and the like.
If that didn't work, my puppet pundits would scream that Bitcoin is burning the planet,
even though it's the rampant waste and destruction created by my fiat money that is the scourge
of this world.
Yes, if I were the devil, fiat money would be my most cunning and destructive tool,

(05:06):
for with it I could undermine economies, control governments, and keep the masses in perpetual
bondage, all without firing a shot or drawing a sword, but merely convincing the world that
the government paper is as good as gold.
Yes, I would keep the masses fighting against each other instead of realizing who the true

(05:27):
enemy is.
In other words, if I were the devil, I'd just keep right on doing what he's doing.