February 18, 2024 • 21 mins
On this episode of the Black Expat Podcast, I shed light on the nuanced relationship between independence and freedom. Drawing upon my life experiences from teenage years through my thirties in diverse global locations, I explore personal narratives to help redefine these concepts.
I touch on youthful desires for independence, to changing perspectives with the advent of adulthood, and eventually, a growing aspiration for freedom to Taiwan and how my life there profoundly shaped my idea of independence.
Tune in for a transformative journey that might inspire a paradigm shift in your own understanding of independence and freedom.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
What up, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Black Expat Podcast.
My name is Carl. I'm excited to be rocking with you guys for yet another episode.
I'm excited to be here for yet another Monday morning check-in with you guys.
And, you know, I did something really, really big recently, right?
(00:23):
And I'm going to get to exactly what that is in maybe two or three minutes,
But I need to set it up correctly because it's it's almost my it was mind blowing for me.
Like when I actually stepped back and I looked at, you know,
what happened and what I've recently gone through and a big decision I feel like I've made.
When I stepped back and I looked at it with perspective, with a black expat perspective.
(00:44):
So I tend to look at life and in seasons and segments and, you know,
in in moments, right, in periods of time, which kind of define the next phase
of your life. So I look at life in phases.
Right. Right. So you have your your teen phase, right? You're 10, 12, 13.
Like once you become a teenager, like that teenage phase, that interesting time
between 13 and 20 where you're kind of like figuring things out.
(01:07):
And then you have the next phase, which is called your roaring 20s,
where you think you have it figured out and you're kind of experimenting and,
you know, just doing whatever you truly feel like you want to do and figuring
out what you like, what you don't like, you know, things of that nature.
And then I feel like I'm in that phase three right in your in your 30s.
And interesting enough for me, my three phases are in different parts of the world.
(01:28):
My teen years were a mix of Chicago, Indiana, and Beijing.
And then my 20s was solely Taiwan. I grew up in Taiwan, came back to America
for six to eight months, but then the majority of it was just Taiwan for 10 to 12 years.
That's where I lived. That was my home. And now I'm back here in America, right?
(01:50):
And I recently came back not too long ago. It's been three years,
but it feels like a long, long time for me just because, you know,
how I've been traveling and then, you know, where I lived and things like that.
But, you know, when I came back.
The first thing I wanted to do, or one of the first things was,
I wanted a source of independence, right? I wanted a car.
I said, you know, and I didn't go back to Chicago. I was back in Chicago for
(02:13):
a while, but it was cold outside.
Like, you know, I'm 30. I don't want to, you know, be on the bus or the train.
It's just cold. And I'm not a big fan of the cold.
If you know me, listen to my podcast, you know, I'm not a huge fan of cold. cold.
Stepping into cold weather trips, because I know I need to have those types
of experiences to be a well-rounded podcaster and travel expert and all those
things. But I'm just not a fan of the cold. That's just who I am.
(02:33):
And then I came down to Texas. And for those of you guys who visited Texas,
it's not the best place for public transportation.
So I really, really wanted that independence.
So I was like, man, I not just want a car. My mindset was I need a car.
Car. Like it wasn't, I, it wasn't, Oh, I want this. It'd be a nice to have.
It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
(02:54):
In order to be independent, in order to be the person I want to be,
to have the experiences I want to have, like I need this car, right?
My mindset completely shifted. Now it wasn't too recent, like,
but in that moment when I was thinking this way,
like, I wish I had, you know, that little devil and angel on my shoulder to
be like, you know, you kind of just just moved from Taiwan where you didn't have a car for 12 years.
(03:18):
You had a method of getting around, which is a scooter, but even that you use sparingly, right?
Again, I live five minutes from work. I could walk to work. I could bike to work if I wanted to.
At some point when I first moved to Taiwan, I lived on campus,
right? I was very fortunate that, but even then, even when I moved further away
from work, right, and I wanted to get nicer places that were further away,
I could either use a bike or get a moped to get to work.
(03:41):
And it's interesting because when I came to to America, the jobs I've had,
I've been very fortunate, very blessed, very honored.
They've all been remote. I've had.
Remote jobs now part of when i first came back it was in the
pandemic so i was ubering and stuff just to get extra money so
in a sense i did kind of need that car it was a it was
a different so another source of income for me in a sense but you know when
(04:04):
you do the numbers you know gas maintenance insurance monthly payments if you
don't have a big down like it adds up it adds up to essentially the amount you're
making sometimes driving again everyone's different but for me it it added up
to be around the same amount.
So it wasn't as advantageous as I thought, but it got me thinking like that
mindset, like it was, my mindset was so different in Taiwan.
(04:26):
I don't even think at one point, I don't think at any point other than the scooter that I had, right.
And my scooter costs $600 over the course of 12 years, I put maybe,
maybe three to $500 in maintenance in it.
So the course of 12 years, I spent $1,200 and I was telling someone this the
the other day, I said in my car in six months, I probably put that much into it.
(04:50):
And I had a relatively brand new car. I had 13,000 miles on it,
but between oil changes and tire rotations and all that, and just the bill itself,
paying for the car itself, spending way, way more money than that.
So I thought back, I was like, well, independence versus freedom.
And I'm getting there there, guys, bear with me. Independence versus freedom.
(05:13):
So, you know, for many of us, I don't know, maybe you guys can relate to this.
When I was growing up, I really wanted independence, right? I wanted,
in a sense that I wanted to make my own decisions.
Go wherever I wanted to go. Still enjoy the luxury of living under my parents' roof.
(05:33):
16, 17, 18, I didn't understand what rent was and how it impacted my paycheck
because all I wanted was independence.
I wanted to live under my parents' roof and under my mother's guidance and have
that food that she brought in that she would cook for me or I would cook for
myself or we would cook for each other.
But I wanted the independence to be able to make decisions on my own. Go out when I want to.
(05:58):
Now, I know what you're thinking. Well, isn't that freedom?
Yeah. But in order to access that freedom, I needed to be able to independently
make choices on my own, right?
For myself, without anyone coming in and saying, I know why you want to do that.
I'm going to make you, force you, instruct you, you know, parents,
(06:19):
to do differently. or because you're living under my roof, there goes that freedom, right?
I have the independence to do it, but I don't have the freedom to do it in the
way that I want. So like I want independence.
I didn't mind, you know, my parents and mother coming in and saying,
well, yeah, you can do it, but do it in this way.
So I didn't mind the absence of freedom in that regard, but I wanted the independence
to make more decisions for myself.
(06:43):
What I wore, where I went, how I got there, right?
And, you know, part of that growing up was getting a car.
Oh, because I don't have a car. Now I'm independent because I don't depend on
my mother to pick me up or to take me to school or to get me to work.
I'm independent in that regard.
I don't need anyone else to help me do this thing.
(07:06):
But to access, even with that independence,
to access things and to access that level of freedom where now I can And literally
go and do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to answer to anybody. It required money.
And in order to access that money, I have to relinquish my freedom by working a job, right?
(07:30):
Because, yeah, I can independently select or be a part of the process where
I'm selected to work at a job.
When I work at a job, my freedom is taken away.
Why? I have to be at a certain place at a certain time and perform specific tasks.
I can independently decide to do that, but I'm not free to decide how I do it.
So again, I'm back to basically being at home.
(07:54):
Parents, except parents, we use the word boss, manager, company, right?
Who I have independence because now I can use the money that they give me to
do whatever I want with how I want to do it.
But my freedom is taken away because I have to work for it. I know you guys
are thinking, and again, I may be overthinking this, you all,
but I'm really trying to draw a conclusion here, right? Right.
(08:15):
Again, I'm getting there. Bear with me. Really, really think about it. Right.
So, you know, growing up, I wanted to be independent.
And, you know, and as an adult, once I got out of that stage as an adult,
when I got to my 20s, I wanted freedom.
Right. And freedom in a sense that I wanted to do whatever I want,
whatever I wanted to do it, which for three months out of the year.
(08:37):
Now that I look back and I think about it deeply, I was able to do that. Why?
I did not have to be at work because I was a teacher. I had three months off
and I was still getting money.
Still getting a paycheck, same day, same time, same amount.
I was independent because I was making all these choices on my own.
And I had the freedom because no one was telling me where I had to be for three months out of the year.
(09:03):
Sometimes four months, depending on where Chinese New Year fell and how many
holidays we got in Taiwan. want.
So, you know, I realized, I was like, huh, sounds like freedom is just financial freedom.
The money to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want,
without the time commitment to go with it.
Now, remember when I said I made a really big decision recently?
(09:24):
And before I get there, Taiwan taught me, you know, that less is more material wise.
I didn't have a car, so no car payment, no insurance payment.
I didn't have a house, so no house insurance, no HVAC breaking down,
no major repairs, no remodels. I was renting, right?
So less was more materialized because what that freed up for me was the finances,
(09:47):
or should I say freedom, financial freedom, the finances to when I had the time, when I had my weekends,
when I got off at five, to be independent and free financially to do whatever I wanted to do.
Is it starting to make sense now, guys? So again, I made a really big decision.
(10:08):
Now, again, I'm very fortunate. Me and my wife, we have a home.
We had two cars. My wife's car is paid for. My car is not.
Now, she works remotely, has her own business. She works from home. I work remotely.
Now, I know for couples that have kids, it's really, really hard to have one
car, right? And I understand that. We don't have kids yet.
(10:28):
Like, so, and even if we had one kid, like, again, if we both work remotely,
If, you know, if things come up, we can figure it out.
But we were like, you know, I was sitting there and my wife was telling me,
she told me this for a year and a half, guys. And again, this is me being stubborn.
And again, I'm very open about saying when I'm wrong, when I should have been
listening a little bit closer to what she was saying.
But it was my stubbornness, my need for independence that stopped me from listening
(10:53):
to a very wise woman, my wife.
See, marry up, guys. Definitely, definitely marry up.
She was saying this for a year and a half but every time she said i was like
oh no because you know your car when you want to go somewhere you can go somewhere
but if i want to go somewhere that i then i have to you know it's i mean it's
our car don't have to ask you all these excuses
related to independence but i was forgetting a very important thing my car isn't
(11:18):
paid for or wasn't paid for at the time i was paying car insurance and it was
a pretty significant amount Now, so I'm sitting here like,
you know, when you just sit and think, sometimes, you know, you'd be all up in, I'm independent.
I'm just like, America, USA. And I'm like, where's this mindset coming from?
Because if you had asked me in Taiwan, say seven, eight years ago,
(11:38):
you want to buy a car, you want to go to another country.
Man, please, another country. What do I need a car for?
Like, I can take the bus. I can take an Uber.
And then, you know, like, it would have been an instant decision.
Like, it wouldn't even have been a thought from my mind. I'd be like,
no, what do I need a car for?
But when I came back home to America, granted, at the beginning,
I did need it. But there were different ways I could have gone about it,
(11:59):
right? Had I thought differently.
But after a while, even so, even if I made the decision, which I did,
to still get a car, after a while, even so, what was preventing me from taking
that step back, shout out to my wife again, and being like, you know what?
Maybe I don't need this car. Maybe it is preventing me from having the freedom
(12:21):
to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Because with or without a car, I can get around.
Do I have a Lyft app? Yeah. Do I have an Uber app? Yeah. Do I have a wife with a car?
Yeah. Do we live in the same house? Yeah. Does she drive it often without me? No.
Wherever we go, we're usually going together. And if we're going solo,
I literally just dropped her off somewhere and I'm picking her up later.
(12:41):
I'm still independent and free to do whatever I want in the meantime, in between time.
And I may be slightly, and not even the word inconvenience, I have a commitment
to picking up the person I love more than anything from an activity that she's going to enjoy.
So literally, I was like, man, where is this coming from?
Where did that mentality come from? So I sold, the big thing you guys have probably
(13:02):
figured out, I sold my car because I don't need it.
And it was very, it was sad. I will say that because I was like man I love my
car tinted windows it was fast kept it clean,
all these things but I sat around I looked at I was like well shit I work from
home sometimes I work late we usually eat Monday through Friday we eat at home
(13:25):
or you know we cooking and we'll go out we'll take one car and the other car
would be sitting in the garage man this is a waste waste.
This is a waste. And I was like, well, why was I so fixated on that?
And I'm not going to blame anything because ultimately that,
(13:45):
not only say blame, that decision rests with me, right?
That is the thing that I was doing, but it is in fact a mindset that was so ingrained in me.
And when I reflect back, it's a mindset that's been ingrained in me from the
very beginning. And we can go way into the financial aspects of this and how
people deal with money. I am not a financial consultant.
I'm a travel consultant, though. Give you a lot of information on travel.
(14:08):
I'm not into giving people financial advice.
That's not my area of expertise.
But the mindset aspect of it, I can speak to.
And I was like, man, and I feel like that mindset was very American because
I was confusing independence and freedom.
And I was failing to understand the impact of financial freedom,
(14:31):
which is taught differently across the world, which I'm able to see because I've lived it.
Lived in a culture where minimal, minimalism and minimal focus is put towards
the acquisition of material things. things, family, love.
Now, when I say that, I mean material things that aren't necessities.
(14:53):
I think back to all the things I put value in from a cultural perspective, Jordan.
And trust me, I am not the guy that's saying, don't go out and dress and look
nice and don't buy Jordans.
Probably still going to do them. I'm going to do it in a financially responsible way.
I'm going to prioritize and understand culturally who I am.
See, not what American culture or even even Taiwanese culture has told me I should be.
(15:17):
But no, culturally, who am I?
And foundationally, where have these ideas and thoughts of what I need and what
represents independence and freedom for me come from?
And being open to changing what that looks like for me.
See, culturally, me and my wife are from two different backgrounds.
So the way she views and looks at things is very Now, don't get me wrong.
(15:39):
My wife loves her high-end things.
She has them. That's her. But culturally, how we look and assess things.
And it was really just breaking down. It's like, man, America,
independence versus freedom.
Where do we really understand how we can step into freedom?
Because no matter what, if you work day to day and you answer to someone else's,
(15:59):
you know what I'm saying, like someone else's scheduling,
like even being an entrepreneur in a way, you are more free,
but you still, you know, you have customers to answer to and things like that. But, you know, we all...
Have freedom kind of taken away from us because of how, you know,
the world itself is set up. We have to work in order to acquire money, right?
But the way in which we view the things that we directly can control,
(16:24):
like, because in the world we live in, we cannot control having to wake up and
go to work and get money. It's something we have to do.
Yeah, our freedom is taken away because, you know, you can't just do whatever
you want. That's just law and rules. Like, we get that.
But the things we can control, the decisions that we do make,
how rooted in culture is that?
And how we view independence versus freedom and what you're able to do.
(16:44):
So me making a big decision, like it is such a simple thing.
Like, oh no, you know, I sold my car and we're just a one car household.
But the fact that I fought it for so long, I know you guys probably like,
girl, this is a smart financial decision. How are you connected to all these things?
Because no, I wanted to dig deeper and understand why I didn't think about it sooner.
You ever thought about that? Like, I wish I had done this earlier.
(17:06):
Like, but why didn't you? You know, like, ever just thought about that?
And think about, okay, what is the cultural or, you know, what was my mentality
growing up and, you know, where did it come from?
And why, when I was in this place or this part of the world,
for me personally, why was my mindset completely different?
And it all goes back to how I want to experience life, period.
(17:28):
I want the financial, the money, the assets, things to do whatever I want,
which is travel. But I can't do that if I'm tied to worldly possessions.
Right? And again, call me out if I'm overthinking. But freedom and independence are not the same.
I mean, I go back to Taiwan taught me that less is more material wise and more
is more experience wise.
(17:49):
The more I can experience, the more I can see, the more I can speak to,
the more connections I make, the richer I am.
You know, I've alluded to this before in my other podcast episodes.
In America, I feel like material wise, more is more.
All right, when are you guys going to get a house? When are you going to get
a car? are, when are you going to acquire these things?
(18:10):
Instead of when are you going to go here? When are you going to see this place?
When are you going to learn more about this?
And I'm not saying everywhere is like that. You guys know me.
I'm not, oh, beat up America. I'm not that person, right?
Because all cultures have things where if you speak about them,
you can point out things where it could be better.
But the fact is I am American. I was born here. I was raised here.
(18:30):
And I have been very fortunate to be able to experience other cultures and live
in other other places around the world.
And it's just important to, you know, just to take a step back and think,
you know, like for me, like, man, this money I was spending monthly for three
years, if I had to save that, where could I have gone?
I was so focused on being independent and being able to do what I am thinking
(18:54):
that I was free because of this need for independence, thinking I was free when
I was really holding myself back from the type of freedom I really wanted.
From my upbringing and my very American at its core value.
And again, it's not, and I'm saying me and my America, how I was raised culturally
in America, because that's where I'm from, right?
(19:15):
Not saying all Americans like this. I'm not saying that, but I'm being very
realistic about culturally the culture I was raised in, which is here.
And then some people are able to have their cake and eat it too.
Some people are okay with that. And that is okay.
That's 100% okay. If that's your your thing is like
no i want to have a good car i don't really care about
traveling the world that's your thing that's your thing it's just not my
(19:36):
thing it's not some other people's things some people they
want to the backs of both like no i want to have a good car and a nice house save up
and then travel that's great too like all of that is okay being different is
okay i would hate it if everybody thought like me one flights would be insane
hotels always be booked how could i you know like i would hate if everybody
thought like me but i'm always encouraged everybody to think differently.
(20:03):
Right? Differently, outside the box, in a different way.
So that's my feel, my hopefully not overthought feel of a big decision I made
to sell my car and how it really got me thinking about independence versus freedom,
what it means from an American perspective,
and also culturally, how I kind of took that in and how living in different
(20:27):
places around the the world culturally affected me and how my mindset was different
in these places as a result of being there. And there are so many layers to that that we can unpack.
So many layers to that. Cost of living, accessibility, public transportation.
There's so many ways to break that down.
But in each way, every time I broke it down deeper in my head,
I realized that I had power and control over these things.
(20:49):
I did. The power is yours, Captain Planet.
So again, thank you all for tuning in to yet another Monday morning check-in.
I hope you guys had a great holiday weekend, long weekend for those of you guys
who've had it. If you're around the world, just a great February.
Happy Lunar New Year, everybody. Belated Lunar New Year. Happy belated Valentine's
Day. Get out there, hug somebody you love, tell them you love them.
(21:11):
Have a good time and send me your questions. Thank you. Keep them coming in.
I love answering them and I love developing topics around them.
Those of y'all who talked about this topic with me, because you saw me post
it on my wife post that I sold my car, thank you guys for reaching out and inspired this episode.
So again, my name is Carl, the Black Expat. We out ya.
What up, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Black Expat Podcast.
My name is Carl. I'm excited to be rocking with you guys for yet another episode.
I'm excited to be here for yet another Monday morning check-in with you guys.
And, you know, I did something really, really big recently, right?
(00:23):
And I'm going to get to exactly what that is in maybe two or three minutes,
But I need to set it up correctly because it's it's almost my it was mind blowing for me.
Like when I actually stepped back and I looked at, you know,
what happened and what I've recently gone through and a big decision I feel like I've made.
When I stepped back and I looked at it with perspective, with a black expat perspective.
(00:44):
So I tend to look at life and in seasons and segments and, you know,
in in moments, right, in periods of time, which kind of define the next phase
of your life. So I look at life in phases.
Right. Right. So you have your your teen phase, right? You're 10, 12, 13.
Like once you become a teenager, like that teenage phase, that interesting time
between 13 and 20 where you're kind of like figuring things out.
(01:07):
And then you have the next phase, which is called your roaring 20s,
where you think you have it figured out and you're kind of experimenting and,
you know, just doing whatever you truly feel like you want to do and figuring
out what you like, what you don't like, you know, things of that nature.
And then I feel like I'm in that phase three right in your in your 30s.
And interesting enough for me, my three phases are in different parts of the world.
(01:28):
My teen years were a mix of Chicago, Indiana, and Beijing.
And then my 20s was solely Taiwan. I grew up in Taiwan, came back to America
for six to eight months, but then the majority of it was just Taiwan for 10 to 12 years.
That's where I lived. That was my home. And now I'm back here in America, right?
(01:50):
And I recently came back not too long ago. It's been three years,
but it feels like a long, long time for me just because, you know,
how I've been traveling and then, you know, where I lived and things like that.
But, you know, when I came back.
The first thing I wanted to do, or one of the first things was,
I wanted a source of independence, right? I wanted a car.
I said, you know, and I didn't go back to Chicago. I was back in Chicago for
(02:13):
a while, but it was cold outside.
Like, you know, I'm 30. I don't want to, you know, be on the bus or the train.
It's just cold. And I'm not a big fan of the cold.
If you know me, listen to my podcast, you know, I'm not a huge fan of cold. cold.
Stepping into cold weather trips, because I know I need to have those types
of experiences to be a well-rounded podcaster and travel expert and all those
things. But I'm just not a fan of the cold. That's just who I am.
(02:33):
And then I came down to Texas. And for those of you guys who visited Texas,
it's not the best place for public transportation.
So I really, really wanted that independence.
So I was like, man, I not just want a car. My mindset was I need a car.
Car. Like it wasn't, I, it wasn't, Oh, I want this. It'd be a nice to have.
It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
(02:54):
In order to be independent, in order to be the person I want to be,
to have the experiences I want to have, like I need this car, right?
My mindset completely shifted. Now it wasn't too recent, like,
but in that moment when I was thinking this way,
like, I wish I had, you know, that little devil and angel on my shoulder to
be like, you know, you kind of just just moved from Taiwan where you didn't have a car for 12 years.
(03:18):
You had a method of getting around, which is a scooter, but even that you use sparingly, right?
Again, I live five minutes from work. I could walk to work. I could bike to work if I wanted to.
At some point when I first moved to Taiwan, I lived on campus,
right? I was very fortunate that, but even then, even when I moved further away
from work, right, and I wanted to get nicer places that were further away,
I could either use a bike or get a moped to get to work.
(03:41):
And it's interesting because when I came to to America, the jobs I've had,
I've been very fortunate, very blessed, very honored.
They've all been remote. I've had.
Remote jobs now part of when i first came back it was in the
pandemic so i was ubering and stuff just to get extra money so
in a sense i did kind of need that car it was a it was
a different so another source of income for me in a sense but you know when
(04:04):
you do the numbers you know gas maintenance insurance monthly payments if you
don't have a big down like it adds up it adds up to essentially the amount you're
making sometimes driving again everyone's different but for me it it added up
to be around the same amount.
So it wasn't as advantageous as I thought, but it got me thinking like that
mindset, like it was, my mindset was so different in Taiwan.
(04:26):
I don't even think at one point, I don't think at any point other than the scooter that I had, right.
And my scooter costs $600 over the course of 12 years, I put maybe,
maybe three to $500 in maintenance in it.
So the course of 12 years, I spent $1,200 and I was telling someone this the
the other day, I said in my car in six months, I probably put that much into it.
(04:50):
And I had a relatively brand new car. I had 13,000 miles on it,
but between oil changes and tire rotations and all that, and just the bill itself,
paying for the car itself, spending way, way more money than that.
So I thought back, I was like, well, independence versus freedom.
And I'm getting there there, guys, bear with me. Independence versus freedom.
(05:13):
So, you know, for many of us, I don't know, maybe you guys can relate to this.
When I was growing up, I really wanted independence, right? I wanted,
in a sense that I wanted to make my own decisions.
Go wherever I wanted to go. Still enjoy the luxury of living under my parents' roof.
(05:33):
16, 17, 18, I didn't understand what rent was and how it impacted my paycheck
because all I wanted was independence.
I wanted to live under my parents' roof and under my mother's guidance and have
that food that she brought in that she would cook for me or I would cook for
myself or we would cook for each other.
But I wanted the independence to be able to make decisions on my own. Go out when I want to.
(05:58):
Now, I know what you're thinking. Well, isn't that freedom?
Yeah. But in order to access that freedom, I needed to be able to independently
make choices on my own, right?
For myself, without anyone coming in and saying, I know why you want to do that.
I'm going to make you, force you, instruct you, you know, parents,
(06:19):
to do differently. or because you're living under my roof, there goes that freedom, right?
I have the independence to do it, but I don't have the freedom to do it in the
way that I want. So like I want independence.
I didn't mind, you know, my parents and mother coming in and saying,
well, yeah, you can do it, but do it in this way.
So I didn't mind the absence of freedom in that regard, but I wanted the independence
to make more decisions for myself.
(06:43):
What I wore, where I went, how I got there, right?
And, you know, part of that growing up was getting a car.
Oh, because I don't have a car. Now I'm independent because I don't depend on
my mother to pick me up or to take me to school or to get me to work.
I'm independent in that regard.
I don't need anyone else to help me do this thing.
(07:06):
But to access, even with that independence,
to access things and to access that level of freedom where now I can And literally
go and do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to answer to anybody. It required money.
And in order to access that money, I have to relinquish my freedom by working a job, right?
(07:30):
Because, yeah, I can independently select or be a part of the process where
I'm selected to work at a job.
When I work at a job, my freedom is taken away.
Why? I have to be at a certain place at a certain time and perform specific tasks.
I can independently decide to do that, but I'm not free to decide how I do it.
So again, I'm back to basically being at home.
(07:54):
Parents, except parents, we use the word boss, manager, company, right?
Who I have independence because now I can use the money that they give me to
do whatever I want with how I want to do it.
But my freedom is taken away because I have to work for it. I know you guys
are thinking, and again, I may be overthinking this, you all,
but I'm really trying to draw a conclusion here, right? Right.
(08:15):
Again, I'm getting there. Bear with me. Really, really think about it. Right.
So, you know, growing up, I wanted to be independent.
And, you know, and as an adult, once I got out of that stage as an adult,
when I got to my 20s, I wanted freedom.
Right. And freedom in a sense that I wanted to do whatever I want,
whatever I wanted to do it, which for three months out of the year.
(08:37):
Now that I look back and I think about it deeply, I was able to do that. Why?
I did not have to be at work because I was a teacher. I had three months off
and I was still getting money.
Still getting a paycheck, same day, same time, same amount.
I was independent because I was making all these choices on my own.
And I had the freedom because no one was telling me where I had to be for three months out of the year.
(09:03):
Sometimes four months, depending on where Chinese New Year fell and how many
holidays we got in Taiwan. want.
So, you know, I realized, I was like, huh, sounds like freedom is just financial freedom.
The money to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want,
without the time commitment to go with it.
Now, remember when I said I made a really big decision recently?
(09:24):
And before I get there, Taiwan taught me, you know, that less is more material wise.
I didn't have a car, so no car payment, no insurance payment.
I didn't have a house, so no house insurance, no HVAC breaking down,
no major repairs, no remodels. I was renting, right?
So less was more materialized because what that freed up for me was the finances,
(09:47):
or should I say freedom, financial freedom, the finances to when I had the time, when I had my weekends,
when I got off at five, to be independent and free financially to do whatever I wanted to do.
Is it starting to make sense now, guys? So again, I made a really big decision.
(10:08):
Now, again, I'm very fortunate. Me and my wife, we have a home.
We had two cars. My wife's car is paid for. My car is not.
Now, she works remotely, has her own business. She works from home. I work remotely.
Now, I know for couples that have kids, it's really, really hard to have one
car, right? And I understand that. We don't have kids yet.
(10:28):
Like, so, and even if we had one kid, like, again, if we both work remotely,
If, you know, if things come up, we can figure it out.
But we were like, you know, I was sitting there and my wife was telling me,
she told me this for a year and a half, guys. And again, this is me being stubborn.
And again, I'm very open about saying when I'm wrong, when I should have been
listening a little bit closer to what she was saying.
But it was my stubbornness, my need for independence that stopped me from listening
(10:53):
to a very wise woman, my wife.
See, marry up, guys. Definitely, definitely marry up.
She was saying this for a year and a half but every time she said i was like
oh no because you know your car when you want to go somewhere you can go somewhere
but if i want to go somewhere that i then i have to you know it's i mean it's
our car don't have to ask you all these excuses
related to independence but i was forgetting a very important thing my car isn't
(11:18):
paid for or wasn't paid for at the time i was paying car insurance and it was
a pretty significant amount Now, so I'm sitting here like,
you know, when you just sit and think, sometimes, you know, you'd be all up in, I'm independent.
I'm just like, America, USA. And I'm like, where's this mindset coming from?
Because if you had asked me in Taiwan, say seven, eight years ago,
(11:38):
you want to buy a car, you want to go to another country.
Man, please, another country. What do I need a car for?
Like, I can take the bus. I can take an Uber.
And then, you know, like, it would have been an instant decision.
Like, it wouldn't even have been a thought from my mind. I'd be like,
no, what do I need a car for?
But when I came back home to America, granted, at the beginning,
I did need it. But there were different ways I could have gone about it,
(11:59):
right? Had I thought differently.
But after a while, even so, even if I made the decision, which I did,
to still get a car, after a while, even so, what was preventing me from taking
that step back, shout out to my wife again, and being like, you know what?
Maybe I don't need this car. Maybe it is preventing me from having the freedom
(12:21):
to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Because with or without a car, I can get around.
Do I have a Lyft app? Yeah. Do I have an Uber app? Yeah. Do I have a wife with a car?
Yeah. Do we live in the same house? Yeah. Does she drive it often without me? No.
Wherever we go, we're usually going together. And if we're going solo,
I literally just dropped her off somewhere and I'm picking her up later.
(12:41):
I'm still independent and free to do whatever I want in the meantime, in between time.
And I may be slightly, and not even the word inconvenience, I have a commitment
to picking up the person I love more than anything from an activity that she's going to enjoy.
So literally, I was like, man, where is this coming from?
Where did that mentality come from? So I sold, the big thing you guys have probably
(13:02):
figured out, I sold my car because I don't need it.
And it was very, it was sad. I will say that because I was like man I love my
car tinted windows it was fast kept it clean,
all these things but I sat around I looked at I was like well shit I work from
home sometimes I work late we usually eat Monday through Friday we eat at home
(13:25):
or you know we cooking and we'll go out we'll take one car and the other car
would be sitting in the garage man this is a waste waste.
This is a waste. And I was like, well, why was I so fixated on that?
And I'm not going to blame anything because ultimately that,
(13:45):
not only say blame, that decision rests with me, right?
That is the thing that I was doing, but it is in fact a mindset that was so ingrained in me.
And when I reflect back, it's a mindset that's been ingrained in me from the
very beginning. And we can go way into the financial aspects of this and how
people deal with money. I am not a financial consultant.
I'm a travel consultant, though. Give you a lot of information on travel.
(14:08):
I'm not into giving people financial advice.
That's not my area of expertise.
But the mindset aspect of it, I can speak to.
And I was like, man, and I feel like that mindset was very American because
I was confusing independence and freedom.
And I was failing to understand the impact of financial freedom,
(14:31):
which is taught differently across the world, which I'm able to see because I've lived it.
Lived in a culture where minimal, minimalism and minimal focus is put towards
the acquisition of material things. things, family, love.
Now, when I say that, I mean material things that aren't necessities.
(14:53):
I think back to all the things I put value in from a cultural perspective, Jordan.
And trust me, I am not the guy that's saying, don't go out and dress and look
nice and don't buy Jordans.
Probably still going to do them. I'm going to do it in a financially responsible way.
I'm going to prioritize and understand culturally who I am.
See, not what American culture or even even Taiwanese culture has told me I should be.
(15:17):
But no, culturally, who am I?
And foundationally, where have these ideas and thoughts of what I need and what
represents independence and freedom for me come from?
And being open to changing what that looks like for me.
See, culturally, me and my wife are from two different backgrounds.
So the way she views and looks at things is very Now, don't get me wrong.
(15:39):
My wife loves her high-end things.
She has them. That's her. But culturally, how we look and assess things.
And it was really just breaking down. It's like, man, America,
independence versus freedom.
Where do we really understand how we can step into freedom?
Because no matter what, if you work day to day and you answer to someone else's,
(15:59):
you know what I'm saying, like someone else's scheduling,
like even being an entrepreneur in a way, you are more free,
but you still, you know, you have customers to answer to and things like that. But, you know, we all...
Have freedom kind of taken away from us because of how, you know,
the world itself is set up. We have to work in order to acquire money, right?
But the way in which we view the things that we directly can control,
(16:24):
like, because in the world we live in, we cannot control having to wake up and
go to work and get money. It's something we have to do.
Yeah, our freedom is taken away because, you know, you can't just do whatever
you want. That's just law and rules. Like, we get that.
But the things we can control, the decisions that we do make,
how rooted in culture is that?
And how we view independence versus freedom and what you're able to do.
(16:44):
So me making a big decision, like it is such a simple thing.
Like, oh no, you know, I sold my car and we're just a one car household.
But the fact that I fought it for so long, I know you guys probably like,
girl, this is a smart financial decision. How are you connected to all these things?
Because no, I wanted to dig deeper and understand why I didn't think about it sooner.
You ever thought about that? Like, I wish I had done this earlier.
(17:06):
Like, but why didn't you? You know, like, ever just thought about that?
And think about, okay, what is the cultural or, you know, what was my mentality
growing up and, you know, where did it come from?
And why, when I was in this place or this part of the world,
for me personally, why was my mindset completely different?
And it all goes back to how I want to experience life, period.
(17:28):
I want the financial, the money, the assets, things to do whatever I want,
which is travel. But I can't do that if I'm tied to worldly possessions.
Right? And again, call me out if I'm overthinking. But freedom and independence are not the same.
I mean, I go back to Taiwan taught me that less is more material wise and more
is more experience wise.
(17:49):
The more I can experience, the more I can see, the more I can speak to,
the more connections I make, the richer I am.
You know, I've alluded to this before in my other podcast episodes.
In America, I feel like material wise, more is more.
All right, when are you guys going to get a house? When are you going to get
a car? are, when are you going to acquire these things?
(18:10):
Instead of when are you going to go here? When are you going to see this place?
When are you going to learn more about this?
And I'm not saying everywhere is like that. You guys know me.
I'm not, oh, beat up America. I'm not that person, right?
Because all cultures have things where if you speak about them,
you can point out things where it could be better.
But the fact is I am American. I was born here. I was raised here.
(18:30):
And I have been very fortunate to be able to experience other cultures and live
in other other places around the world.
And it's just important to, you know, just to take a step back and think,
you know, like for me, like, man, this money I was spending monthly for three
years, if I had to save that, where could I have gone?
I was so focused on being independent and being able to do what I am thinking
(18:54):
that I was free because of this need for independence, thinking I was free when
I was really holding myself back from the type of freedom I really wanted.
From my upbringing and my very American at its core value.
And again, it's not, and I'm saying me and my America, how I was raised culturally
in America, because that's where I'm from, right?
(19:15):
Not saying all Americans like this. I'm not saying that, but I'm being very
realistic about culturally the culture I was raised in, which is here.
And then some people are able to have their cake and eat it too.
Some people are okay with that. And that is okay.
That's 100% okay. If that's your your thing is like
no i want to have a good car i don't really care about
traveling the world that's your thing that's your thing it's just not my
(19:36):
thing it's not some other people's things some people they
want to the backs of both like no i want to have a good car and a nice house save up
and then travel that's great too like all of that is okay being different is
okay i would hate it if everybody thought like me one flights would be insane
hotels always be booked how could i you know like i would hate if everybody
thought like me but i'm always encouraged everybody to think differently.
(20:03):
Right? Differently, outside the box, in a different way.
So that's my feel, my hopefully not overthought feel of a big decision I made
to sell my car and how it really got me thinking about independence versus freedom,
what it means from an American perspective,
and also culturally, how I kind of took that in and how living in different
(20:27):
places around the the world culturally affected me and how my mindset was different
in these places as a result of being there. And there are so many layers to that that we can unpack.
So many layers to that. Cost of living, accessibility, public transportation.
There's so many ways to break that down.
But in each way, every time I broke it down deeper in my head,
I realized that I had power and control over these things.
(20:49):
I did. The power is yours, Captain Planet.
So again, thank you all for tuning in to yet another Monday morning check-in.
I hope you guys had a great holiday weekend, long weekend for those of you guys
who've had it. If you're around the world, just a great February.
Happy Lunar New Year, everybody. Belated Lunar New Year. Happy belated Valentine's
Day. Get out there, hug somebody you love, tell them you love them.
(21:11):
Have a good time and send me your questions. Thank you. Keep them coming in.
I love answering them and I love developing topics around them.
Those of y'all who talked about this topic with me, because you saw me post
it on my wife post that I sold my car, thank you guys for reaching out and inspired this episode.
So again, my name is Carl, the Black Expat. We out ya.
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