February 19, 2025 • 49 mins
Dom L'Amour speaks with Jacob Buckenmyer (@jabucke) about Drinking, The California Fires, Education and so much more!
What happens when you mix the heart of Los Angeles with an exploration of emotions, food, and culture? I'm joined by my friend Jacob Buckenmyer to unpack the myths surrounding LA’s identity, especially in the face of the California fires, and to challenge the stereotype of it being just a playground for the elites. We dive into our personal journeys with alcohol, from growing up in a dry household to those wake-up calls that made us rethink our habits. Jacob’s stories are both candid and relatable, painting a picture of how environments and experiences shape our perceptions and choices.
Food lovers, prepare to challenge your understanding of dining! We share contrasts between Italian leisurely meals and the fast-paced American food culture, inviting you to rethink what it means to truly savor a meal. Our conversation touches on deeper themes of generational influences and how the scarcity mindset can shape our approach to food. These reflections serve as a springboard to discuss the broader cultural narratives that influence our consumption habits and how childhood teachings linger into adulthood.
We also venture into the educational landscape, highlighting the gaps in traditional teaching methods and the need for practical life skills in school curriculums. The conversation shifts toward political discourse and the resilience found within LA’s diverse communities. With a spirited nod to the film industry and the Star Wars saga, we celebrate storytelling, collaboration, and the enduring spirit of Los Angeles, revealing a city that is much more than its Hollywood facade. Join us in reflecting on the narratives that shape our world and the communities that bring them to life.
Opening quote: MLK
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Featured song: "I Will Always Be Loving You" Lyrics by Dom L'Amour, Music by Mike Harvey
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And it also means that, because it's a city of
artists, it's a city of a lot ofpeople that scrap and fight
just to be here, and so when yousee people be like, let it burn
.
It's just a city of elites,it's just a city of rich people,
it like tears my heart outbecause I'm like I'm not that
this fire coming over the hill.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
There's a real danger it could burn down my apartment
building, not my house, myapartment building, my one
(00:41):
bedroom apartment that I live inwith my partner.
That would be devastating.
Ladies and gentlemen, andanyone else who is here, my name
is Dom Lamoure and you arelistening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast ontoday's episode.
So we welcome back my guy,jacob Buckenmeyer, and we speak
about drinking, the Californiafires and education.
We may have all come ondifferent ships, but we're in
(01:19):
the same boat right now.
Usually get a flight so I cansample all of the different
styles and see the quality andgrade them.
I enjoy that shit.
But recently, like it's likeeven one beer.
I'm kind of like I don't needthe beer, that's the thing, and
people need this alcohol.
You know what I'm saying andit's you start to realize just
how different your body acts andreacts to everything when you
(01:39):
don't have alcohol in it.
It's kind of mind blowing.
I mean, it makes sense.
You know what I'm saying, itmakes sense, but it's like one
beer should be fine, right, butthen you stop having it all
together and realize when youhave that one beer, your body
does react strongly to that onebeer.
It might not be like you'resick, but you're lagging a
(02:00):
little bit, you know we can behonest and say that alcohol is a
poison.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You can't get really around that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
That's something that I've been telling my brain too,
Cause, you know, I go to workat a brewery pretty much every
Tuesday Tonight I'm going to bethere but I'm going to be
drinking soda water, Cause I'mlike it's poison and I'm trying
to kind of convince myself that,not convince myself, just kind
of.
You know, I go to this place.
I get a free beer every week.
So I'm like, oh, I might aswell get one, and it's like
(02:30):
sometimes I don't really wantone or need one, I just get it.
So I could say I did it in myhead.
You know, recently it's beenreal nice going places being
like, oh, I just take some waterand the price tag is a lot less
.
I don't know how that worksIncredible.
Yeah, this is totally not whatI wanted to talk about, but I
(02:51):
would love to hear what you feel, because you don't ever really
drink when I'm around you.
Is that purposeful?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
No, I think.
Well, okay, alcohol, I think,is I have an interesting
relationship with alcohol andnot in a like problematic way.
At least I hope not.
But I think one of the thingsthat's interesting that I've
noticed at least from talking topeople growing up and things
like that is my householdgrowing up never had alcohol in
it ever.
Part of that is my mom's dad,my grandfather.
(03:19):
He was a really bad alcoholic,yeah, and I just I just don't
know that my dad had like a hugetaste for it.
I always tell the story Like Iremember, like as a child, there
was one moment where my dadbought a six pack.
He probably drank two of thebeers and then the other four
sat in our fridge for a fewmonths until my mom was like,
(03:39):
can you just get those out ofthere, you're not going to drink
them.
And that was the only alcohol Iever remember being in my house
, ever when I sort of getting tothe point where I was drinking,
you know, like I never did it aton, and I think what you're
referring to as well is I thinkI only ever felt comfortable
drinking a lot in like supercontrolled spaces.
So I would only ever drink inlike, you know, my friend's
(04:00):
basement or something, and whenit would come to like theater
parties or whatever, I just Idon't know that I ever felt safe
or just like comfortable doingthat.
What I was going to say, too,is that I did have a situation a
couple of years ago that reallyreset my relationship with
alcohol.
I think in the last like four orfive years I started drinking
(04:24):
more not a ton, but you know, Iwould have situations even where
I would like pour cocktails formyself when I was just like
home alone and things like that,and I just started noticing
like an uptick in my consumptionand a lot of that, I think also
like corresponded around like abreakup and the beginning of
COVID and like just things beingmore like you know why not?
(04:44):
And a couple of years ago I hadone of my best friend's
weddings from high school.
I kept having people at thewedding all day like, oh, you
know, we're all expecting you tobe the life of the party, jacob
.
Yeah, and you know it was alsoa situation where, like, there
was a party bus and they musthave had like four or five
coolers of alcohol for everybody.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Ready to go?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, they must have had like four or five coolers of
alcohol for everybody ready togo.
Yeah, and I think I just likeused it as an excuse to get
really sloppy, even to the pointwhere, like I got cut off at
the bar and I had to havefriends take me off to the side
and be like you need to likecool off a little bit, damn and
honestly, don like that wasn'teven the part that I'm building
to oh man, that's bad, that'sjust to like set the scene, but
(05:27):
what ended up happening was so Isat off to the side, I laid
down for a bit on couch and Istarted to like get my bearings
a bit and I pulled out my phoneand I had a series of text
messages from my brother that mydad was in the hospital.
Obviously, being as inebriatedas I was, I just couldn't
process those emotions in themoment, and so I was a absolute
emotional mess, to the pointwhere, at someone else's wedding
(05:51):
, I had a ton of people that hadto take me out of that
situation and take care of me,to the point where, like I, you
know, I still feel guiltybecause, like, the groom's
sister was one of these peoplethat had to take care of me and
so she's missing like part ofher brother's wedding reception.
Yeah, so I think, you know, Istill had some like learning to
do even after that, but it'sthat's one of those situations
(06:14):
where I kind of keep lookingback to that and keep being like
don't want that to happen again.
Yeah, I had kind of that momentof being confronted with a side
of myself that was, I guess,being irresponsible, being
sloppy, being a version ofmyself that I am not happy with
or proud of, and I like I had awedding this past weekend and I
very specifically told mygirlfriend I was like I need you
(06:37):
to make sure I have like twodrinks and then I'm done.
I don't want to like get in theposition of having that happen
again.
And I even got scared becausethe bartender at this wedding
was like trying to kill people.
I was, I ordered a whiskey neat, and he filled my tumbler like
halfway and I was like Jesus,dude.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I feel like I've never really had a moment in my
life where alcohol was needed.
You know I'm fortunate for that.
I've never felt like I needalcohol, and I know that because
, like for so long, there'salways alcohol in my house, no
matter what house I'm in,because I'm a bartender, that's
what I do.
I make drinks literally upstairsa bar, with every spirit you
(07:16):
can think of, and even specialtyspirits from different
countries, and it's like we gotit in the house and I'm just
like I'm going to drink this tea, baby, I'm good.
So I think more and more thebig thing about it.
I keep telling people on hereabout it because I'm not
(07:38):
drinking my scotch like normaland I guess it is something to
talk about.
It's just the effect.
I see it due to other people,even though it hasn't happened
to me.
I'm like it still could if Iallow it to, and I'm not going
to allow it to.
One thing that I'm considering,because we're going to go to
Italy later this year oh, I justgot back.
Oh yeah, yeah, I would love toget a glass of wine while I'm
(07:58):
there, and I'm more likelythat'll be when I have my next
glass.
I'll drink some wine there, butI think if I do drink anything,
I'll strictly just stick to redwine.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I think like the interesting thing with drinking
socially you know, drinking atparties or whatever you do
you're chasing a very fine lineof a feeling and it's like if
you're on either side of theline, you're like maybe not
having a good time, where it'slike if you're not far enough
along, you're like like I've gotthis thing in my hand and I'm
(08:28):
drinking it and I'm kind of likeI don't feel physically great
but like if I can just get that,that one thing I'm chasing,
like speaking like there, it'slike you know you start, you're
like, oh, how close is that tolike talk on hard drugs and
other things?
But like you know, you're like,ah, it's everything's kind of
annoying and I don't feelphysically great and I'm trying
to get this drink and chase thisfeeling.
And then I always have thisproblem where I so rarely hit
(08:51):
the fine line or like I'm havinga good time and the alcohol is
like just the right level, Ialways like don't feel it, don't
feel it, don't feel it.
And then I'm too drunk Yep,yeah, no-transcript.
(09:30):
Better eating more food overthere than I do eating here.
And there were just like acouple of sensations that I was
like acutely aware of when I waseating over in Italy and the
first one was is I was noteating to the point of feeling
like bloated full.
Yeah, I didn't have that weirdthing where, like I'm eating
something and I I have therecognition that I'm full, but I
(09:54):
still have the like urge to eat.
I didn't have that.
I would like reach a certainpoint in a meal and I'd be like
I think I'm done.
Yeah, the other one that I kindof was like very aware of was
just also the fact that, likeyou take a lot more time to eat
and it's a lot more enjoyableand the food like tastes
different, it's like a differentflavorful.
(10:16):
I guess it's like I'm trying toget out Like I kind of talked a
little bit about that thatweird sensation sometimes that
we have of like where, likesomething in our brain is
itching to be like you need tokeep eating this.
Oh my gosh, it's so good, it'sso good.
Yeah, when you're here and thenwhen you're like over there,
you're eating just like adifferent quality of food.
Where you're like I can reallyappreciate this food, but when
enough is enough, I can just belike oh wow, that was a
(10:37):
fantastic meal.
Yeah, there was some likeinteresting perspective stuff
just being over in Italy.
And that's not to say that,like, italy is a perfect country
and I'm sure a lot of Italianswould share the sentiment or
whatever.
But you know, there are certainthings where, like when you get
the perspective of going toanother country and seeing what
things could be possible whetherit's through diet or taking
(11:00):
care of its people in a certainway or whatever you're kind of
mad.
You're like it really does seemlike wild that we're over here
telling ourselves that we can'tdo stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Yeah, I feel like every time I travel I'm more
aware of what I'm eating, butI'm always going to be the
person who eats fast and like,oh, this is great.
I've never had that moment ofrealization.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I had multiple meals over there that took two plus
hours to eat all the way through.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
That's dope, though.
It sounds incredible.
It sounds like greatconversation, sounds like great
atmosphere.
For you to want to spend thatkind of time in a place like
that, that sounds dope.
I feel like it goes back to thealcohol thing, where I'm so
nervous that I'll lose thoseatmospheres that I love.
And something that popped in myhead while you were explaining
that fine line.
I think you know that game onthe price is right when they put
(11:48):
the little disc into the thingand it like moves around and
like in the very middle, thevery middle is the perfect spot,
but you could be all the way tothe right or all the way to the
left, if you you know.
And then you start anywhere too.
So it's like you drink, it'slike you're starting either high
or you're starting normal, orit's like it's everything and
then it could end anywhere.
(12:08):
And that's kind of the wholepoint of why everything is so
off-putting to me, like why I'mlike I'm kind of good on that
and overeating.
I think that's just another.
That's a whole notherconversation when it comes to
our society.
I know one of the phrases thatpeople always say there are kids
, poor, in Africa who can't eatwhen they try to get their kids
(12:28):
or someone to stop begging fortoo much food.
But it's like we live in aplace where if I want an avocado
from Florida, one of the greenones, I can get that.
If I wanted one of the blackones from California, I can get
that.
And here in Georgia I knowexactly where to go get those
two things.
If I want lemongrass, if I wantanything you name it anywhere
(12:52):
in the world, I more than likelycan find it here in Georgia.
So I don't think we properlywere taught how to eat proper
porches, because we have just somuch.
It's like here.
We want to sell all of thisstuff.
We have too much food that wecan handle, so eat all you can
so we can get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I do want to maybe also add a slight different
perspective, because I wasalmost thinking something a
little opposite, at least forcertain people.
I was comfortable growing up.
We were certainly not wealthybut, like I know, my mom was
poor, like very poor, and I knowthat my dad grew up in the
depression.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
So there was a little bit of an expectation of like
you need to finish that, becauseI think they had that
internalized thing of being likeyou don't know where the next
meal is coming from.
So, just like that's enough,eat it.
And I even and like this ischanging, especially after this
trip and other things but like Iused to joke in in friend
(13:49):
circles when we would go out toeat, my nickname was the garbage
disposal, because if anybodydidn't finish their meal, yeah,
I felt guilty.
Don't waste that food, I'll eatit.
I'll eat it, just give it to me.
And I'd be full and I wouldstill be like I just felt so bad
wasting food, full, and I wouldstill be like I just felt so
bad wasting food, yeah.
And so like there's a littlebit about that too that I think
(14:12):
pops up for me and I'm trying tolike reposition myself around
and you know, some of it I thinkis like the quality of food
that we have, so that when wehave that like finish your meal
mentality or or whatever it'slike you know, maybe the kid
isn't eating it because hedoesn't like the taste or
whatever, but maybe the kid'salso eating it because he's full
and we don't really like trustthese children to kind of
express their motives behindthese things, and so we just
(14:34):
tell them.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I think that's for sure what was going on in my
household.
Yeah, my grandma, them like no,you know, you better eat all of
that food, kind of thing.
And it's like I'm totally full.
Or also, it's very possible, Ijust wanted to go back and play
my video game.
So it's like I get it, becauseif you knew me, I would be the
one who would be like I'm full,so I can go back and finish the
(14:55):
game and then come back an hourlater like hey, I'm hungry still
.
Can I get some more of thatfood?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
and they're like dude , it's too late there's a ton of
things too that I think like asan adult and I don't have
children but I look at, like myyounger self where it's like I
used to remember being like Ihate taking vitamins and so I
would pretend to take vitaminsand then just like have long
stretches where I wasn't takingthem.
And I look back in an adult nowand I'd be like man.
(15:23):
How much different would I bephysically if I would have just
taken those vitamins or whatever.
Or if I would have eaten allthese vegetables growing up that
I kind of like avoided becauseI just didn't like them.
And so like I'm sure there's acertain extent of that too,
happening with parents andthings like that where you look
at your own experiences and thethings that you could be
(15:44):
healthier now if you would havedone when you were younger and
like nobody was looking out foryou that way or you know
whatever.
So I had so many just likeweird factors looking on it that
you're like man.
I wish I had that perspectivewhen I was six or seven.
But also I was six or seven soI wasn't going to be that
forward facing about stuff, andso I wasn't going to be that
forward facing about stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I feel like I daydream about things that I
realize now as an adult that Iwish I knew when I was a kid, or
just stuff.
I don't think I would evenunderstand if I was a kid.
And it's dope to be an adultand realize these kind of things
now.
You know, like all right, greatexample.
You know, like if I were totalk to a group and I was like
(16:23):
what's something that an adultknow, that kids won't know.
It's like check your eggsbefore you buy the carton.
You know that's so stupid, it'ssmall, but it's like I mean,
I'm an adult and this is stuffthat I do.
You know, when I go to thegrocery store, make sure your
coupons in your pocket.
You know say like weird stuffthat I see in the house now that
(16:44):
I don't even know what age itwas when I started to look at
that stuff.
But now I'm a homeowner and I'mlooking, oh, this thing popped
out of a door the other day andI'm like what was that?
How did that happen?
Where did this come from?
How does this even work?
How do I replace it?
Where can I find another one?
Is it at Home Depot?
Is it going to be online?
Do I have to go to Amazon, likeI have this whole process just
(17:07):
for this one situation thathappened in the house, and then
I have a million others on myhead as well.
So that's another weird placefor Americans.
Because of the privilege, wehave so much at our hands, we
have so much around us, we haveso many things that can be given
to us, we have so many thingswe can earn.
So kind of guiding kids andstuff in the right direction or
(17:30):
giving them the knowledge it'salmost overwhelming to truly
give them the you can and thisand that, but there's still a
lot of things that fall throughthe cracks when it comes to any
of us here in America.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I feel like I think a good example, too, comes down
to different education stuff,which I'm not trying to bash
anything, but I even know when Iwas a kid, when I was in high
school, you'd be like what arethe quote, unquote, pointless
classes, or what are the onesthat you're like, you're in and
you're like this is kind of abreak for me and it'd be like a
(18:09):
nutrition or like physicaleducation or home back
woodworking shop or, and it'slike those are the practical
things now, as an adult, whereI'm like man, I wish I
understood nutrition better.
Yeah, like I wish I understoodnutrition.
But also there are certainpoints where I'm like I wish
they also like the people whotaught us would have maybe taken
(18:32):
it more seriously where, like,we're doing physical education
classes and we're just likecycling through like two to
three weeks of like we'll playdodgeball, we'll do golf, we'll
do dance, we'll do weightliftingand you're kind of like we're
just doing all this random stuff.
Now I look back at it and I waslike, oh, they're trying to
(18:53):
show us physical activity isimportant, but everybody's going
to engage with physicalactivity differently.
Yeah, so let's do a big grabbag of stuff so that you can
figure out what you like so thatyou can stay physically active,
and it's like nobody everexpressed that sentiment to me.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I get that completely yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So it's like what are those things where I'm like,
hey, if you would have told melike this is going to be
important in 10 years, causeyou're going to need something
like this so that you don't likestiffen up and hobble around
when you're in your 40s and youcan't move anymore and you're
not strong enough to pick a boxup and you're going to throw
your back out picking your kidup or whatever, like if somebody
(19:34):
would just be like, hey, thisis important for this reason,
and this is why we're doing theclass this way, it would have
been like like, well, maybe thistwo-week course of dance or
whatever is not really my deal,but I get why we're doing it and
I'll give it a little bit moreattention and respect versus
just being like, oh God, I havethis hour that I've got to go
learn some swing routine.
(19:56):
That doesn't mean anything tome.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
But that goes more into the generation that we were
taught by and raised by.
Because when I think about gymclass, I was in elementary
school.
I remember one of my gymteachers calling some kids in
the class while we were playinga game you're soft, like out
loud yelling.
You're soft to a child.
(20:18):
I remember this in my head andthat's the kind of thing that
they didn't have a proper way ofspeaking to people and so they
wouldn't be able to communicatewhat you would want them to
communicate.
They get your shit, get yourass on the line and run.
We get get in here.
You're here.
You're here to move God.
You're sitting down in the butt.
(20:40):
Like they immediately try tocompare themselves to us or tell
us that we're not as as activeas them or we weren't as smart.
It was a consistent bash.
I felt like I'm not saying allteachers were, but especially
when it came to like sports anddifferent things like that,
coaching and stuff, like youwant somebody to motivate you,
(21:00):
you want somebody to explain toyou why this is important, and I
felt like in every avenue, mymath teacher didn't do a good
enough job of telling me why wewere learning certain math.
I'm like well, I got acalculator Explain to me why
this is important in real life.
Put this against whatever itwould be pointed to in the real
(21:24):
world.
Geometry was the only mathclass I felt like they did that
with where they actually showedme how this could be helpful in
the real world and I'm like Iactually enjoy geometry.
That was the one class Iremember really liking because
it was shapes and it was thingsand angles, Golf uses geometry
and pool uses geometry, Like allthat stuff really fascinated me
(21:47):
.
But my taxes and stuff I had tolearn how to do that myself.
You know what I'm saying and Ifeel like home that class.
Luckily, I grew up in a housewhere my grandma taught me how
to cook.
So I got an A in that forcooking part because I knew what
I was doing already.
But they didn't really teach meanything.
They just they kind of justgave us goals and told us, hey,
(22:09):
try to get these goals and thebooks that they gave us to read.
They would make us read andthen they wouldn't really.
I mean, in some classes theywould explain what the book is
talking about and give you moredepth, but a lot of the time
they were letting that be theteacher.
And when you think about gymwas a free class, you know
saying when you think about gym,it was a free class, it was
(22:31):
time to kick it.
You could, you could lax off agym and it was like that should
have been.
I don't know.
I honestly think gym could itshould have been more of a
personal training class,Something where it's like let me
teach you how you should createa routine throughout your life.
You need to stretch this way,this, this and that, this is
(22:52):
stretching.
We're not doing this justbecause you need to keep doing
this every day.
You should be stretching beforeyou come to gym.
You should be stretching beforeyou come to school.
You should try to make aroutine to keep active, because
if you're active, you livebetter, you feel better, you
breathe easier.
Like so much stuff goes intothis idea.
(23:12):
But it was just.
We're playing dodgeball todayand that was.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
That was the extent you know and like kind of what
you like you're landed on is.
That is that thing of like youknow you, you said it in a
moment of like the teachers youreally engaged with were the
people that explained to you theimportance of things.
And it's funny where you likeyou, you were like, uh, we read
these books and I didn't reallyget it, or whatever, and like
the two subjects and like evenwith math you were saying, but
(23:38):
the two subjects I remember inhigh school, the two teachers I
loved most, and part of it waslike I had, you know, my math
teacher, was also my swim coachand things like that.
But my English teacher and mymath teacher that I had the most
in high school and the mathteacher was really upfront.
He was really funny but he wassuper engaging.
He did his best to explainthings and the thing I think I
(24:00):
like remember back about histeaching that really I give him
the most credit for is he wouldbe very quick to be like I don't
know what this is important forLike if we were learning a
subject that we had to becauseit was in the book and it was
part of the curriculum orwhatever.
He would, very upfront, be likethis is a super complicated
thing.
I kind of barely understand it.
There's not a whole lot ofpractical application for it,
(24:22):
but we're going to learn it andthen in two weeks we'll move on
to something else and this willbe more fun.
And so he kind of gave us thatexpectation of two, of being
like I'm going to be honest withyou about it, this isn't even
my thing.
I don't.
I'm not the expert on this.
It's not super useful.
But if you just stick with mefor two weeks, we'll get through
it together and then we'll moveon to the next thing.
(24:42):
And then, likewise, in myEnglish classes, you know we
would read.
Being from Missouri, I'm sureyou have the same experience,
but it's like we read Tom Sawyerand Huck Finn throughout, like
K to high school probably likethree or four times.
What a time.
But I will say, like reading itin high school, I was like,
given context, it wasn't justlike we were reading and picking
(25:05):
up the plot line of the story.
It's like, okay, let's talkabout the broader picture of
what Mark Twain was doing withthis story and saying about
society as a broader concept,and also like how this story
specifically fits into thispoint in history and why people
were so engaged with it.
And we could do the same withRomeo and Juliet.
And then, like, as we moved onand started to do like college
(25:26):
composition classes and we'relearning how to write different
papers and approach things whereit's like I remember like that
was like the interesting formatof that class was obviously like
you're taught how to writedifferent papers, but it's like
we're gonna do an instructionalpaper because maybe you're
somebody that's gonna writeinstructional manuals or you're
going to have to be the personin your job that has to teach
everybody how to do a certainprocedure.
(25:47):
We're going to do argumentativepapers because you're going to
be, you know, a journalistthat's going to have to argue
two points.
Or you're going to be apolitician, or you're going to
be you know whatever, and like,honestly, the one that I ended
up, I was like my goal in thisclass, because she would always
save a good example of eachpaper if she found one.
And I'm like I'm a goal and Iwas like I'm going to, I'm going
(26:09):
to be one of those papers, I'mgoing to be the one that I'm
going to figure out what.
It is my thing that she's goingto save my paper, and the one
that she ended up saving for mewas I wrote a movie review and
so it was a review of somethingand so, like I like, looking
back now, I have so much respectfor them because they could
give me it wasn't just like stayin the parameters of this thing
(26:32):
and figure it out, it was thelike, let me tell you why this
is important.
These are the tools we're goingto do, but also it's going to
give you a wider breadth oftools that you can use in your
life, and so we want you to havethose tools.
And, like I'm sure you know, wealways touch on some kind of
politics or whatever when we'retalking.
But, like, my biggest thing isI'll read things on the internet
(26:56):
from people, or I'll listen topeople's arguments to why they
believe something or supportsomeone, and I'm like but that's
not an argument, you're notmaking an argument, you're just
telling me how you feel aboutsomething there's not.
You haven't expressed an idea ina proper way, you're not
debating me, you're just yellingat me.
You know there are times whereI'm like we've, we've lost a
(27:18):
little bit of the objectivity attimes, like I realized that
there are a lot of subjects,especially around politics, that
are very subjective and like.
This is my experience in thistopic.
But there are times where Ihave to be like but you have to
explain to me in a way that isnot just you feeling stuff, and
(27:41):
you know like we need evidence,we need you to, you know, argue
a point of view, and we've lostsome of that ability and that
language.
I think like as a people and Idon't even mean just Americans,
but I think like as people ingeneral we've, we've lost the
ability to pull our experienceout of ourselves and look at a
(28:03):
broader story and use thatbroader story to shape our
argument and everything is justso self-centered or so
subjective.
I guess let's.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
What I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Oh, 30 minutes in 30 minutes in.
He says that's how it goes.
With all the fires going on inLA this year, which were
horrible, and you're impacted ofcourse, for reference for
anybody who's listening, I havea stack of bags sitting behind
me right now, in case we need topick up our bags and go.
I am about probably four blocksfrom the edge of an evacuation
(28:49):
zone, and a few days ago Iwatched the fire like crest the
mountains into, like the SanFernando Valley, like in my
direction.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
So yeah, and to be clear though, I've been a lot
(29:19):
luckier than other people I evermet.
I always vibed with the peoplewho were like I'm born and
raised here.
Those were always my favoritepeople to interact with there,
because you didn't feel likethey were trying to get anything
from you.
They were just being genuinethemselves.
They had the bestrecommendations for you to go
eat and hang out in differentplaces to check out.
So I always loved being therebecause of those reasons.
(29:41):
My boy, jose shout out to himalways went to the Dodger games
with us and the Lakers games.
And I am curious to see becauseyou're from Missouri like me
and one thing that I feel likeevery time I talk to a friend
from home who lives in LA, whenthey'd say they go back to
Missouri, they constantly hearpeople be like oh, you live in
California.
(30:02):
And something that I've seen alot on the news are people being
not on the news, social media,people being like let it burn.
California is horrible.
Those people out there are sobad anyway, the devil is out
there.
That's why they're burning,because they need to go to hell,
kind of thing.
I always think about thoselocals who were born and raised
there.
They're just people trying tolive.
They're normal people, it's notsome crazy difference.
(30:24):
And then also, these people whoare cursing it don't realize
that a lot of people are just asRepublican and conservative as
them out there too that aresuffering hard because of this.
It's not a party lines thing,it is a tragedy.
I'm just curious if you'venoticed a lot of that coming in
from the outside while beingthere.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Well, I think where I want to start is one of the
things.
When you were talking aboutlike you always kind of like
vibed well with like the localsis, I almost was thinking I was
like there's a little bit of StLouis in that, yeah, which is
where, like you know, you're thebiggest thing around.
Everybody wants to say they'refrom LA.
Everybody around that area ofMissouri wants to be like I'm
from St Louis and you're likenah, I'm born and raised here.
You moved here.
(31:05):
There's a little bit of that,and I say that in like the
nicest way of being.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
I get what you're saying though.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
I think it keys into a little bit, though, too, of
like.
There is a little bit of thelike a lot of people do wish
they were here or from here orcould live here, and there's
always a little bit of ceilingaround that and like, let's be
clear, like I've had my fairshare of things to say
negatively about LA, but I'velived here 10 years now very
much identify as an Angeleno, asmuch as you know locals will
(31:31):
let me, I suppose.
But I think too it is such acity of transplants that there
is not as much safeguarding ofthat identity as long as you've
put in the due diligence to bepart of the community and to
love the community and to learnto live in the community.
Obviously, a lot of it is.
You know, we're the secondlargest city, we're the home of
Hollywood and a broader mediascheme, California not LA
(31:53):
specifically, but California hasSilicon Valley, and so I think
there is a very coordinatedattack to tear down the ideas
and the values of places likeLos Angeles that, even though I
hear a lot of people in and fromLA be like oh this city, I am
the first person to jump on thebandwagon and be like this
(32:15):
city's public transit sucks andlike I would love to just have
like a subway that worked orthat went anywhere valuable, but
at the same time, I am thefirst person that if anybody,
especially from back home, waslike do you ever want to move
back to Missouri, I'd be likehell.
No, yeah, I'd be like I'm goingto live in LA.
I moved here, I want to be here, and so like I think there's a
(32:38):
lot of like coordinated attacksaround that.
There's a lot of likecoordinated attacks around that.
There's a lot ofmisunderstanding about what this
city is and like you know what.
You're absolutely right.
There's some evil people wholive here.
There's some evil people thatlive in St Louis.
There's some evil people thatlive in New York.
There's some evil people thatlive in Miami.
Like it's a city, it's a cityof 10 million people, and so
(32:59):
there's a wide breadth ofexperience, no-transcript, and
(33:29):
they want to like share thingswith the world.
And it also means that becauseit's a city of artists, it's a
city of a lot of people thatscrap and fight just to be here,
and so when you see people belike, let it burn.
It's just a city of elites,it's just a city of rich people.
It like tears my heart outCause I'm like I'm not that this
(33:50):
fire coming over the hill.
There's a real danger.
It could burn down my apartmentbuilding, not my house, my
apartment building, my onebedroom apartment that I live in
with my partner.
That would be devastating.
And also, you know, it's adifferent thing to be like a $1
million house in Los Angelesbecause of, again, another
(34:10):
reason to kind of like throwshade at the city.
Like the housing market sucks.
But a $1 million house might beone bedroom, two bedrooms,
built in the 1930s, fallingapart on a tiny lot, not great
area.
That's just like full of likeweeds in the front yard or
whatever.
And that's no fault of thepeople that live there.
(34:30):
Like one of the things that youlearn really quickly when you
move to Los Angeles is mostpeople that own homes own homes
in these areas because theyinherited it from their parents
or their grandparents orwhatever.
So it's not even the fact thatthey were wealthy, it's the fact
that they just the family haskept the house for a couple of
(34:51):
generations, and good for them.
They bought the house in thethirties for, you know, $20,000
and now it's a million dollars,but that's no fault of the
people that live there.
And then the same breath, whenthe house burns down and the
insurance company doesn't payfor the claim.
They now have nothing.
You know, you kind of said itlike the thing that I think gets
thrown at LA the most is thisfeeling of like it's a city of
(35:14):
people who are out forthemselves and they don't care
about anybody else.
And then I like sit and I watchthe last week, like one of the
reports I was hearing was likefire stations and certain
charities and stuff are likewe're not taking donations
anymore because you gave us toomuch stuff.
Yeah, Like we have too manythings and we can't, we can't
(35:35):
keep giving them out.
Like the fire stations are likey'all have brought us enough
Gatorade and food and stuff likethat and we're really
appreciative, but we just wehave nowhere else to put it.
Yeah, so like thank you so much.
And like people came out indroves over the weekend to
volunteer and like I think too,we can neglect that.
(35:56):
Sir, actors can be selfish, orsure you know.
Like producers have like acertain stereotype, but at the
same time, film is an incrediblycollaborative art form is an
incredibly collaborative artform.
This is also a city that's usedto coordinating together and
working together and, you know,bringing a ton of people from
(36:18):
all walks of life into the samestudio and being like we all
need you to do your job so thatwe can make something together.
Yeah, so you know, it's been areally weird time because
obviously it's scary, it'sdevastating.
The thing I keep hearing frompeople is we're all checking in
with each other, being like, hey, are you okay?
(36:39):
Stay safe out there.
And it just feels like the mostcommon response people have
when you ask how are you doingIs they're just like I'm fried,
I have been anxious and scaredfor a week straight and I just
like my central nervous systemis exhausted and I can't sleep
and I just like want to havesome kind of sense of safety.
(37:00):
But we're all kind of likereally being open to each other.
Like I've seen a huge swing ina really inconsiderate, mean
direction, like post-covid, andthere are bits of that that feel
like they've kind of left, atleast for now.
Who knows they might come back,but everybody the past week has
(37:24):
seemed like much moreconsiderate, much more open,
much more like accommodating ofother people and much more
understanding, and you know ifthat's something that comes out
of this.
It's no consolation to thepeople who have lost their homes
and lost their lives, but it's.
(37:45):
It is a positive, it'ssomething good that I hope the
city will like.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Hang on to that feeling of about you and I know
we won't be together, I stillshow my love for you.
Forever, no stress.
I just wish you the best.
(38:20):
All I want to do is show that Icare and I will always be
loving you.
This is me singing my tune.
(38:44):
I will always be loving you.
That I wrote for my guy, mikeHarvey.
Loving you, dom Noir.
You're the reason why thissegment that we're about to do
was inspired.
Oh, it's you, indirectly.
It's not because of like youdid it, but your first episode
(39:06):
with me.
I believe you did the first one, yeah, the very first one, the
Understanding Family episode,which is a great one.
Go listen to it if you haven'tlistened to it yet.
A lot of people hit me up likethat episode was so incredible,
it was so great.
It took me three times to getthrough it.
They were like I couldn't.
I was relating so much, Icouldn't.
(39:29):
I had to, like, take a break.
I had to take breaks while Iwas watching it.
I feel like we can be negativeand be honest, and it's hard to
hear these conversations.
So I wanted to make it so thatat least one of the segments, no
matter what episode, waspositive.
So this segment is called youknow what I love?
Very simple I'm going to startoff and say you know what I love
this, and after that I'llexplain why.
(39:50):
And then I'll ask you andyou'll say you know what I love
this?
That's the second.
So we're going to start thisoff here.
You know what I love and westarted it off talking about it,
so I'm just going to jump backto it.
Star Wars I love Star Wars.
I have been going through a lotof the trilogies.
(40:11):
I feel like something that Ireally struggled with was the
criticism of the sequels trilogy, and I remember watching each.
But I feel like each time I'vegone into the theater for the
sequels and for the stuff that'shappened after the original you
know the prequel I feel likeever since then it's just
(40:34):
nonstop negative, negative,negative, negative, hard, hard,
hard, ruining people's lives.
And I'm like you know, I'mgoing to go in just as a Star
Wars fan, knowing the story fromepisode one, episode six let's
watch episode seven, see if itlines up.
Episode eight see if it linesup.
Episode nine see if it lines up.
(40:56):
And it was very refreshing to gothrough that sequel trilogy
again because it had a lot ofthe elements of the prequel that
I loved, where I didn't grow upwith the original Star Wars.
I started at episode two.
That was the first one I saw.
I started at episode two.
That was the first one I saw.
So I was already hip to crazyadvanced.
(41:17):
You know Jedi sabered fights.
General Grievous had sixlightsabers in one round.
Like it's like crazy, the stuffthat you got in episode two and
episode three and episode one,with dark mall having the two
sided blade.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
I'm going to give it, I, I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna
give it a shout out, because weit gets overlooked so often
that padre sequence is fantasticthere it is, see, see, and I'm
one of those people who's like,oh, it's cool, but you know like
they could have sped it up.
But yeah, I get what you say soI will say somebody had an
incredible idea recently on adifferent podcast which was like
(41:52):
why is is Disney Plus not donea pod racing show?
Sorry, keep going.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
as a Star Wars fan who, like I said, my favorites
started with the prequel.
I will always admit that EmpireStrikes Back is one of the
greatest things that's everhappened, so that's number one
(42:20):
in my book.
But after that it's episodethree.
I'm a big fan of those prequelepisodes.
And then episode seven thatfight in the snow with the
lightsabers was fantastic.
I really enjoy Kylo Ren ingeneral.
(42:40):
He's one of my favorite StarWars characters.
I feel like he, adam Driver, isjust a knockout of an actor and
he really worked with what hehad and he shined with it.
Worked with what he had and heshined with it.
And the last jedi I a lot.
I know a lot of people didn'tlike it.
I don't.
I didn't like some of thedirections that ryan johnson
went with, but I was verythrilled with just how
(43:06):
incredible the quality of thatthat movie is.
It's an incredible qualitymovie and the weakest one of, of
course, is episode nine, andthat's just because I felt like
they shoehorned so much stuffthat they didn't have to and
didn't create an original story.
They could have gone originalbut I feel like they doubled
down.
Jj Abrams doubled down on kindof recreating stuff that already
(43:27):
happened.
Episode seven was just a basic.
Episode four, rewind, and thenEpisode 9, it's like, okay, what
can we do?
Let's bring Star Destroyersthat all have the power to
destroy a planet.
Let's do that.
It's the exact same thing.
Give us something else,something different.
(43:48):
I'm looking forward to Thrawnand the Mandalorian movie that's
coming out.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
How about you?
You know what I love.
I love coffee.
Oh, and it's funny because onthe last episode that I was on,
I was talking about caffeineconsumption and how I had to
reframe that.
But exactly, it's really funny.
My journey to living coffee camewith.
My parents were the kind ofpeople that would drink like six
cups of coffee every singlemorning, would make like an
industrial size pot of coffeeand drink all of it by like 10
am, and I couldn't get into itas a kid, and it was because my
(44:24):
mom would go oh, you want to trycoffee?
My mom was crazy because shestarted drinking coffee when she
was like seven, so she just, Iguess, was like, well, you
should drink coffee, you're like12, um, and she would brew me a
cup of coffee and she'd put aton of sugar into it and then
she'd give it to me and I'd belike I don't like it.
And then I had somebody when Iwas in my 20s be like, I'm gonna
make you some coffee, I havethe good stuff, I'm gonna make
(44:47):
it for you and they gave it tome black, and I was like, oh,
this is what it could have beenthe whole time.
Yeah, I love that very likebitter taste it.
I literally can feel sometimeswhen I take that first sip of
coffee, like my body relaxing mynervous system, like focusing
(45:07):
in and just not in a likeenergetic focus way, but just a
like almost like you put theblinders on and everything else
kind of comes into focus.
And I had a really close friend.
I am somebody who can drinklike really bad black, itty
coffee.
You can just hand it to me,I'll be like it's fine.
(45:27):
But I have a friend who alsoloves coffee and they have given
me a new appreciation for itbecause they have they have
every single method.
They have the chemex, they havethe espresso makers, they have
the fancy like coffee makersthat like bring in the ph
balances and you can look up theroast you're putting into the
(45:50):
pot and that they do everythingit needs to do to give you the
best possible pour, like it's aninvestment for them and it's a
ritual for them.
And there's some of it also tohearken back to our previous
conversation around like the teaceremonies and things of like
the craft that goes into buyinga good roast that's been like
harvested and roasted in a waythat is respectful and also
(46:12):
preparing it in a very specific,laborious and like meticulous
way that can really just likebring a new sense of
appreciation.
Listening to them talk aboutcoffee and how they prepare
coffee.
They literally have said to methey're like it's, it's's my
religious ritual every morning,yeah, and it's my thing.
(46:35):
That helps me feel connected toother communities that have
roasted and fostered thesebeings and done these things,
but also to know that this comesfrom the earth and we have to
do the conservation efforts tokeep this thing alive and keep
it special.
And, like you know, I love thatsense of community that can
(46:58):
come from it, not just fromkeeping in mind the people that
have made it, but also just likewhen I can sit and have a good
cup of coffee with a friend ofmine and foster great
conversations like the yeah.
So I just really love coffeeand I love, like, the place it's
taken in my life and it's not ahuge place, but it's it's
enough that I respect it andwant to give it its due as
(47:25):
something that can be specialand something that can be given
a lot of attention and care toand be important for people, and
not just something that we grabon the go so that we have the
mental awareness to not crashour cars at six in the morning
on the way to work or whatever.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
We've made it to the end of the episode and I
appreciate your time and I feellike this is a good time and
it's always great talking to you.
You know we do this speakingabout everything we want to talk
about.
We've gone through all ourtopics.
All I want to know now is howdo you feel?
Speaker 1 (48:04):
I feel good, regardless of the fire,
regardless of politics oranything like that.
2024 was really good.
I'm thankful for it and, forthe first time in a long time,
I'm actually very hopeful for2025.
It's a good feeling to have.
I feel good, and I feel evenbetter now that I got to talk to
(48:25):
one of my great conversation.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Cheers to you, thank you very much, man, good to see
you.
I want to thank you forlistening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast.
The opening quote credit goesto Martin Luther King and shout
out to my guy, jacob Buck, forcoming on to the pod.
(48:50):
You can follow Jacob onInstagram at J-A-B-U-C-K-E.
Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us
a good rating five stars, please, and thank you.
You can support the show byclicking the link at the bottom
of the episode description.
If you like this episode, youshould check out our previous
episodes titled Tea Ceremonies,travel Stories, more with Jacob
(49:12):
Buckemeyer or UnderstandingFamily.
Those are the two shows.
They are both great listens.
Check them out.
Follow me at D-O-M underscoreL-A-M-O-U-R on Instagram or at
DonLamorecom.
I'm Don Lamore, much love.
And it also means that, because it's a city of
artists, it's a city of a lot ofpeople that scrap and fight
just to be here, and so when yousee people be like, let it burn
.
It's just a city of elites,it's just a city of rich people,
it like tears my heart outbecause I'm like I'm not that
this fire coming over the hill.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
There's a real danger it could burn down my apartment
building, not my house, myapartment building, my one
(00:41):
bedroom apartment that I live inwith my partner.
That would be devastating.
Ladies and gentlemen, andanyone else who is here, my name
is Dom Lamoure and you arelistening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast ontoday's episode.
So we welcome back my guy,jacob Buckenmeyer, and we speak
about drinking, the Californiafires and education.
We may have all come ondifferent ships, but we're in
(01:19):
the same boat right now.
Usually get a flight so I cansample all of the different
styles and see the quality andgrade them.
I enjoy that shit.
But recently, like it's likeeven one beer.
I'm kind of like I don't needthe beer, that's the thing, and
people need this alcohol.
You know what I'm saying andit's you start to realize just
how different your body acts andreacts to everything when you
(01:39):
don't have alcohol in it.
It's kind of mind blowing.
I mean, it makes sense.
You know what I'm saying, itmakes sense, but it's like one
beer should be fine, right, butthen you stop having it all
together and realize when youhave that one beer, your body
does react strongly to that onebeer.
It might not be like you'resick, but you're lagging a
(02:00):
little bit, you know we can behonest and say that alcohol is a
poison.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You can't get really around that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
That's something that I've been telling my brain too,
Cause, you know, I go to workat a brewery pretty much every
Tuesday Tonight I'm going to bethere but I'm going to be
drinking soda water, Cause I'mlike it's poison and I'm trying
to kind of convince myself that,not convince myself, just kind
of.
You know, I go to this place.
I get a free beer every week.
So I'm like, oh, I might aswell get one, and it's like
(02:30):
sometimes I don't really wantone or need one, I just get it.
So I could say I did it in myhead.
You know, recently it's beenreal nice going places being
like, oh, I just take some waterand the price tag is a lot less
.
I don't know how that worksIncredible.
Yeah, this is totally not whatI wanted to talk about, but I
(02:51):
would love to hear what you feel, because you don't ever really
drink when I'm around you.
Is that purposeful?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
No, I think.
Well, okay, alcohol, I think,is I have an interesting
relationship with alcohol andnot in a like problematic way.
At least I hope not.
But I think one of the thingsthat's interesting that I've
noticed at least from talking topeople growing up and things
like that is my householdgrowing up never had alcohol in
it ever.
Part of that is my mom's dad,my grandfather.
(03:19):
He was a really bad alcoholic,yeah, and I just I just don't
know that my dad had like a hugetaste for it.
I always tell the story Like Iremember, like as a child, there
was one moment where my dadbought a six pack.
He probably drank two of thebeers and then the other four
sat in our fridge for a fewmonths until my mom was like,
(03:39):
can you just get those out ofthere, you're not going to drink
them.
And that was the only alcohol Iever remember being in my house
, ever when I sort of getting tothe point where I was drinking,
you know, like I never did it aton, and I think what you're
referring to as well is I thinkI only ever felt comfortable
drinking a lot in like supercontrolled spaces.
So I would only ever drink inlike, you know, my friend's
(04:00):
basement or something, and whenit would come to like theater
parties or whatever, I just Idon't know that I ever felt safe
or just like comfortable doingthat.
What I was going to say, too,is that I did have a situation a
couple of years ago that reallyreset my relationship with
alcohol.
I think in the last like four orfive years I started drinking
(04:24):
more not a ton, but you know, Iwould have situations even where
I would like pour cocktails formyself when I was just like
home alone and things like that,and I just started noticing
like an uptick in my consumptionand a lot of that, I think also
like corresponded around like abreakup and the beginning of
COVID and like just things beingmore like you know why not?
(04:44):
And a couple of years ago I hadone of my best friend's
weddings from high school.
I kept having people at thewedding all day like, oh, you
know, we're all expecting you tobe the life of the party, jacob
.
Yeah, and you know it was alsoa situation where, like, there
was a party bus and they musthave had like four or five
coolers of alcohol for everybody.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Ready to go?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, they must have had like four or five coolers of
alcohol for everybody ready togo.
Yeah, and I think I just likeused it as an excuse to get
really sloppy, even to the pointwhere, like I got cut off at
the bar and I had to havefriends take me off to the side
and be like you need to likecool off a little bit, damn and
honestly, don like that wasn'teven the part that I'm building
to oh man, that's bad, that'sjust to like set the scene, but
(05:27):
what ended up happening was so Isat off to the side, I laid
down for a bit on couch and Istarted to like get my bearings
a bit and I pulled out my phoneand I had a series of text
messages from my brother that mydad was in the hospital.
Obviously, being as inebriatedas I was, I just couldn't
process those emotions in themoment, and so I was a absolute
emotional mess, to the pointwhere, at someone else's wedding
(05:51):
, I had a ton of people that hadto take me out of that
situation and take care of me,to the point where, like I, you
know, I still feel guiltybecause, like, the groom's
sister was one of these peoplethat had to take care of me and
so she's missing like part ofher brother's wedding reception.
Yeah, so I think, you know, Istill had some like learning to
do even after that, but it'sthat's one of those situations
(06:14):
where I kind of keep lookingback to that and keep being like
don't want that to happen again.
Yeah, I had kind of that momentof being confronted with a side
of myself that was, I guess,being irresponsible, being
sloppy, being a version ofmyself that I am not happy with
or proud of, and I like I had awedding this past weekend and I
very specifically told mygirlfriend I was like I need you
(06:37):
to make sure I have like twodrinks and then I'm done.
I don't want to like get in theposition of having that happen
again.
And I even got scared becausethe bartender at this wedding
was like trying to kill people.
I was, I ordered a whiskey neat, and he filled my tumbler like
halfway and I was like Jesus,dude.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I feel like I've never really had a moment in my
life where alcohol was needed.
You know I'm fortunate for that.
I've never felt like I needalcohol, and I know that because
, like for so long, there'salways alcohol in my house, no
matter what house I'm in,because I'm a bartender, that's
what I do.
I make drinks literally upstairsa bar, with every spirit you
(07:16):
can think of, and even specialtyspirits from different
countries, and it's like we gotit in the house and I'm just
like I'm going to drink this tea, baby, I'm good.
So I think more and more thebig thing about it.
I keep telling people on hereabout it because I'm not
(07:38):
drinking my scotch like normaland I guess it is something to
talk about.
It's just the effect.
I see it due to other people,even though it hasn't happened
to me.
I'm like it still could if Iallow it to, and I'm not going
to allow it to.
One thing that I'm considering,because we're going to go to
Italy later this year oh, I justgot back.
Oh yeah, yeah, I would love toget a glass of wine while I'm
(07:58):
there, and I'm more likelythat'll be when I have my next
glass.
I'll drink some wine there, butI think if I do drink anything,
I'll strictly just stick to redwine.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I think like the interesting thing with drinking
socially you know, drinking atparties or whatever you do
you're chasing a very fine lineof a feeling and it's like if
you're on either side of theline, you're like maybe not
having a good time, where it'slike if you're not far enough
along, you're like like I've gotthis thing in my hand and I'm
(08:28):
drinking it and I'm kind of likeI don't feel physically great
but like if I can just get that,that one thing I'm chasing,
like speaking like there, it'slike you know you start, you're
like, oh, how close is that tolike talk on hard drugs and
other things?
But like you know, you're like,ah, it's everything's kind of
annoying and I don't feelphysically great and I'm trying
to get this drink and chase thisfeeling.
And then I always have thisproblem where I so rarely hit
(08:51):
the fine line or like I'm havinga good time and the alcohol is
like just the right level, Ialways like don't feel it, don't
feel it, don't feel it.
And then I'm too drunk Yep,yeah, no-transcript.
(09:30):
Better eating more food overthere than I do eating here.
And there were just like acouple of sensations that I was
like acutely aware of when I waseating over in Italy and the
first one was is I was noteating to the point of feeling
like bloated full.
Yeah, I didn't have that weirdthing where, like I'm eating
something and I I have therecognition that I'm full, but I
(09:54):
still have the like urge to eat.
I didn't have that.
I would like reach a certainpoint in a meal and I'd be like
I think I'm done.
Yeah, the other one that I kindof was like very aware of was
just also the fact that, likeyou take a lot more time to eat
and it's a lot more enjoyableand the food like tastes
different, it's like a differentflavorful.
(10:16):
I guess it's like I'm trying toget out Like I kind of talked a
little bit about that thatweird sensation sometimes that
we have of like where, likesomething in our brain is
itching to be like you need tokeep eating this.
Oh my gosh, it's so good, it'sso good.
Yeah, when you're here and thenwhen you're like over there,
you're eating just like adifferent quality of food.
Where you're like I can reallyappreciate this food, but when
enough is enough, I can just belike oh wow, that was a
(10:37):
fantastic meal.
Yeah, there was some likeinteresting perspective stuff
just being over in Italy.
And that's not to say that,like, italy is a perfect country
and I'm sure a lot of Italianswould share the sentiment or
whatever.
But you know, there are certainthings where, like when you get
the perspective of going toanother country and seeing what
things could be possible whetherit's through diet or taking
(11:00):
care of its people in a certainway or whatever you're kind of
mad.
You're like it really does seemlike wild that we're over here
telling ourselves that we can'tdo stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Yeah, I feel like every time I travel I'm more
aware of what I'm eating, butI'm always going to be the
person who eats fast and like,oh, this is great.
I've never had that moment ofrealization.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I had multiple meals over there that took two plus
hours to eat all the way through.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
That's dope, though.
It sounds incredible.
It sounds like greatconversation, sounds like great
atmosphere.
For you to want to spend thatkind of time in a place like
that, that sounds dope.
I feel like it goes back to thealcohol thing, where I'm so
nervous that I'll lose thoseatmospheres that I love.
And something that popped in myhead while you were explaining
that fine line.
I think you know that game onthe price is right when they put
(11:48):
the little disc into the thingand it like moves around and
like in the very middle, thevery middle is the perfect spot,
but you could be all the way tothe right or all the way to the
left, if you you know.
And then you start anywhere too.
So it's like you drink, it'slike you're starting either high
or you're starting normal, orit's like it's everything and
then it could end anywhere.
(12:08):
And that's kind of the wholepoint of why everything is so
off-putting to me, like why I'mlike I'm kind of good on that
and overeating.
I think that's just another.
That's a whole notherconversation when it comes to
our society.
I know one of the phrases thatpeople always say there are kids
, poor, in Africa who can't eatwhen they try to get their kids
(12:28):
or someone to stop begging fortoo much food.
But it's like we live in aplace where if I want an avocado
from Florida, one of the greenones, I can get that.
If I wanted one of the blackones from California, I can get
that.
And here in Georgia I knowexactly where to go get those
two things.
If I want lemongrass, if I wantanything you name it anywhere
(12:52):
in the world, I more than likelycan find it here in Georgia.
So I don't think we properlywere taught how to eat proper
porches, because we have just somuch.
It's like here.
We want to sell all of thisstuff.
We have too much food that wecan handle, so eat all you can
so we can get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I do want to maybe also add a slight different
perspective, because I wasalmost thinking something a
little opposite, at least forcertain people.
I was comfortable growing up.
We were certainly not wealthybut, like I know, my mom was
poor, like very poor, and I knowthat my dad grew up in the
depression.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
So there was a little bit of an expectation of like
you need to finish that, becauseI think they had that
internalized thing of being likeyou don't know where the next
meal is coming from.
So, just like that's enough,eat it.
And I even and like this ischanging, especially after this
trip and other things but like Iused to joke in in friend
(13:49):
circles when we would go out toeat, my nickname was the garbage
disposal, because if anybodydidn't finish their meal, yeah,
I felt guilty.
Don't waste that food, I'll eatit.
I'll eat it, just give it to me.
And I'd be full and I wouldstill be like I just felt so bad
wasting food, full, and I wouldstill be like I just felt so
bad wasting food, yeah.
And so like there's a littlebit about that too that I think
(14:12):
pops up for me and I'm trying tolike reposition myself around
and you know, some of it I thinkis like the quality of food
that we have, so that when wehave that like finish your meal
mentality or or whatever it'slike you know, maybe the kid
isn't eating it because hedoesn't like the taste or
whatever, but maybe the kid'salso eating it because he's full
and we don't really like trustthese children to kind of
express their motives behindthese things, and so we just
(14:34):
tell them.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I think that's for sure what was going on in my
household.
Yeah, my grandma, them like no,you know, you better eat all of
that food, kind of thing.
And it's like I'm totally full.
Or also, it's very possible, Ijust wanted to go back and play
my video game.
So it's like I get it, becauseif you knew me, I would be the
one who would be like I'm full,so I can go back and finish the
(14:55):
game and then come back an hourlater like hey, I'm hungry still
.
Can I get some more of thatfood?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
and they're like dude , it's too late there's a ton of
things too that I think like asan adult and I don't have
children but I look at, like myyounger self where it's like I
used to remember being like Ihate taking vitamins and so I
would pretend to take vitaminsand then just like have long
stretches where I wasn't takingthem.
And I look back in an adult nowand I'd be like man.
(15:23):
How much different would I bephysically if I would have just
taken those vitamins or whatever.
Or if I would have eaten allthese vegetables growing up that
I kind of like avoided becauseI just didn't like them.
And so like I'm sure there's acertain extent of that too,
happening with parents andthings like that where you look
at your own experiences and thethings that you could be
(15:44):
healthier now if you would havedone when you were younger and
like nobody was looking out foryou that way or you know
whatever.
So I had so many just likeweird factors looking on it that
you're like man.
I wish I had that perspectivewhen I was six or seven.
But also I was six or seven soI wasn't going to be that
forward facing about stuff, andso I wasn't going to be that
forward facing about stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I feel like I daydream about things that I
realize now as an adult that Iwish I knew when I was a kid, or
just stuff.
I don't think I would evenunderstand if I was a kid.
And it's dope to be an adultand realize these kind of things
now.
You know, like all right, greatexample.
You know, like if I were totalk to a group and I was like
(16:23):
what's something that an adultknow, that kids won't know.
It's like check your eggsbefore you buy the carton.
You know that's so stupid, it'ssmall, but it's like I mean,
I'm an adult and this is stuffthat I do.
You know, when I go to thegrocery store, make sure your
coupons in your pocket.
You know say like weird stuffthat I see in the house now that
(16:44):
I don't even know what age itwas when I started to look at
that stuff.
But now I'm a homeowner and I'mlooking, oh, this thing popped
out of a door the other day andI'm like what was that?
How did that happen?
Where did this come from?
How does this even work?
How do I replace it?
Where can I find another one?
Is it at Home Depot?
Is it going to be online?
Do I have to go to Amazon, likeI have this whole process just
(17:07):
for this one situation thathappened in the house, and then
I have a million others on myhead as well.
So that's another weird placefor Americans.
Because of the privilege, wehave so much at our hands, we
have so much around us, we haveso many things that can be given
to us, we have so many thingswe can earn.
So kind of guiding kids andstuff in the right direction or
(17:30):
giving them the knowledge it'salmost overwhelming to truly
give them the you can and thisand that, but there's still a
lot of things that fall throughthe cracks when it comes to any
of us here in America.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
I feel like I think a good example, too, comes down
to different education stuff,which I'm not trying to bash
anything, but I even know when Iwas a kid, when I was in high
school, you'd be like what arethe quote, unquote, pointless
classes, or what are the onesthat you're like, you're in and
you're like this is kind of abreak for me and it'd be like a
(18:09):
nutrition or like physicaleducation or home back
woodworking shop or, and it'slike those are the practical
things now, as an adult, whereI'm like man, I wish I
understood nutrition better.
Yeah, like I wish I understoodnutrition.
But also there are certainpoints where I'm like I wish
they also like the people whotaught us would have maybe taken
(18:32):
it more seriously where, like,we're doing physical education
classes and we're just likecycling through like two to
three weeks of like we'll playdodgeball, we'll do golf, we'll
do dance, we'll do weightliftingand you're kind of like we're
just doing all this random stuff.
Now I look back at it and I waslike, oh, they're trying to
(18:53):
show us physical activity isimportant, but everybody's going
to engage with physicalactivity differently.
Yeah, so let's do a big grabbag of stuff so that you can
figure out what you like so thatyou can stay physically active,
and it's like nobody everexpressed that sentiment to me.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I get that completely yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So it's like what are those things where I'm like,
hey, if you would have told melike this is going to be
important in 10 years, causeyou're going to need something
like this so that you don't likestiffen up and hobble around
when you're in your 40s and youcan't move anymore and you're
not strong enough to pick a boxup and you're going to throw
your back out picking your kidup or whatever, like if somebody
(19:34):
would just be like, hey, thisis important for this reason,
and this is why we're doing theclass this way, it would have
been like like, well, maybe thistwo-week course of dance or
whatever is not really my deal,but I get why we're doing it and
I'll give it a little bit moreattention and respect versus
just being like, oh God, I havethis hour that I've got to go
learn some swing routine.
(19:56):
That doesn't mean anything tome.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
But that goes more into the generation that we were
taught by and raised by.
Because when I think about gymclass, I was in elementary
school.
I remember one of my gymteachers calling some kids in
the class while we were playinga game you're soft, like out
loud yelling.
You're soft to a child.
(20:18):
I remember this in my head andthat's the kind of thing that
they didn't have a proper way ofspeaking to people and so they
wouldn't be able to communicatewhat you would want them to
communicate.
They get your shit, get yourass on the line and run.
We get get in here.
You're here.
You're here to move God.
You're sitting down in the butt.
(20:40):
Like they immediately try tocompare themselves to us or tell
us that we're not as as activeas them or we weren't as smart.
It was a consistent bash.
I felt like I'm not saying allteachers were, but especially
when it came to like sports anddifferent things like that,
coaching and stuff, like youwant somebody to motivate you,
(21:00):
you want somebody to explain toyou why this is important, and I
felt like in every avenue, mymath teacher didn't do a good
enough job of telling me why wewere learning certain math.
I'm like well, I got acalculator Explain to me why
this is important in real life.
Put this against whatever itwould be pointed to in the real
(21:24):
world.
Geometry was the only mathclass I felt like they did that
with where they actually showedme how this could be helpful in
the real world and I'm like Iactually enjoy geometry.
That was the one class Iremember really liking because
it was shapes and it was thingsand angles, Golf uses geometry
and pool uses geometry, Like allthat stuff really fascinated me
(21:47):
.
But my taxes and stuff I had tolearn how to do that myself.
You know what I'm saying and Ifeel like home that class.
Luckily, I grew up in a housewhere my grandma taught me how
to cook.
So I got an A in that forcooking part because I knew what
I was doing already.
But they didn't really teach meanything.
They just they kind of justgave us goals and told us, hey,
(22:09):
try to get these goals and thebooks that they gave us to read.
They would make us read andthen they wouldn't really.
I mean, in some classes theywould explain what the book is
talking about and give you moredepth, but a lot of the time
they were letting that be theteacher.
And when you think about gymwas a free class, you know
saying when you think about gym,it was a free class, it was
(22:31):
time to kick it.
You could, you could lax off agym and it was like that should
have been.
I don't know.
I honestly think gym could itshould have been more of a
personal training class,Something where it's like let me
teach you how you should createa routine throughout your life.
You need to stretch this way,this, this and that, this is
(22:52):
stretching.
We're not doing this justbecause you need to keep doing
this every day.
You should be stretching beforeyou come to gym.
You should be stretching beforeyou come to school.
You should try to make aroutine to keep active, because
if you're active, you livebetter, you feel better, you
breathe easier.
Like so much stuff goes intothis idea.
(23:12):
But it was just.
We're playing dodgeball todayand that was.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
That was the extent you know and like kind of what
you like you're landed on is.
That is that thing of like youknow you, you said it in a
moment of like the teachers youreally engaged with were the
people that explained to you theimportance of things.
And it's funny where you likeyou, you were like, uh, we read
these books and I didn't reallyget it, or whatever, and like
the two subjects and like evenwith math you were saying, but
(23:38):
the two subjects I remember inhigh school, the two teachers I
loved most, and part of it waslike I had, you know, my math
teacher, was also my swim coachand things like that.
But my English teacher and mymath teacher that I had the most
in high school and the mathteacher was really upfront.
He was really funny but he wassuper engaging.
He did his best to explainthings and the thing I think I
(24:00):
like remember back about histeaching that really I give him
the most credit for is he wouldbe very quick to be like I don't
know what this is important forLike if we were learning a
subject that we had to becauseit was in the book and it was
part of the curriculum orwhatever.
He would, very upfront, be likethis is a super complicated
thing.
I kind of barely understand it.
There's not a whole lot ofpractical application for it,
(24:22):
but we're going to learn it andthen in two weeks we'll move on
to something else and this willbe more fun.
And so he kind of gave us thatexpectation of two, of being
like I'm going to be honest withyou about it, this isn't even
my thing.
I don't.
I'm not the expert on this.
It's not super useful.
But if you just stick with mefor two weeks, we'll get through
it together and then we'll moveon to the next thing.
(24:42):
And then, likewise, in myEnglish classes, you know we
would read.
Being from Missouri, I'm sureyou have the same experience,
but it's like we read Tom Sawyerand Huck Finn throughout, like
K to high school probably likethree or four times.
What a time.
But I will say, like reading itin high school, I was like,
given context, it wasn't justlike we were reading and picking
(25:05):
up the plot line of the story.
It's like, okay, let's talkabout the broader picture of
what Mark Twain was doing withthis story and saying about
society as a broader concept,and also like how this story
specifically fits into thispoint in history and why people
were so engaged with it.
And we could do the same withRomeo and Juliet.
And then, like, as we moved onand started to do like college
(25:26):
composition classes and we'relearning how to write different
papers and approach things whereit's like I remember like that
was like the interesting formatof that class was obviously like
you're taught how to writedifferent papers, but it's like
we're gonna do an instructionalpaper because maybe you're
somebody that's gonna writeinstructional manuals or you're
going to have to be the personin your job that has to teach
everybody how to do a certainprocedure.
(25:47):
We're going to do argumentativepapers because you're going to
be, you know, a journalistthat's going to have to argue
two points.
Or you're going to be apolitician, or you're going to
be you know whatever, and like,honestly, the one that I ended
up, I was like my goal in thisclass, because she would always
save a good example of eachpaper if she found one.
And I'm like I'm a goal and Iwas like I'm going to, I'm going
(26:09):
to be one of those papers, I'mgoing to be the one that I'm
going to figure out what.
It is my thing that she's goingto save my paper, and the one
that she ended up saving for mewas I wrote a movie review and
so it was a review of somethingand so, like I like, looking
back now, I have so much respectfor them because they could
give me it wasn't just like stayin the parameters of this thing
(26:32):
and figure it out, it was thelike, let me tell you why this
is important.
These are the tools we're goingto do, but also it's going to
give you a wider breadth oftools that you can use in your
life, and so we want you to havethose tools.
And, like I'm sure you know, wealways touch on some kind of
politics or whatever when we'retalking.
But, like, my biggest thing isI'll read things on the internet
(26:56):
from people, or I'll listen topeople's arguments to why they
believe something or supportsomeone, and I'm like but that's
not an argument, you're notmaking an argument, you're just
telling me how you feel aboutsomething there's not.
You haven't expressed an idea ina proper way, you're not
debating me, you're just yellingat me.
You know there are times whereI'm like we've, we've lost a
(27:18):
little bit of the objectivity attimes, like I realized that
there are a lot of subjects,especially around politics, that
are very subjective and like.
This is my experience in thistopic.
But there are times where Ihave to be like but you have to
explain to me in a way that isnot just you feeling stuff, and
(27:41):
you know like we need evidence,we need you to, you know, argue
a point of view, and we've lostsome of that ability and that
language.
I think like as a people and Idon't even mean just Americans,
but I think like as people ingeneral we've, we've lost the
ability to pull our experienceout of ourselves and look at a
(28:03):
broader story and use thatbroader story to shape our
argument and everything is justso self-centered or so
subjective.
I guess let's.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
What I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Oh, 30 minutes in 30 minutes in.
He says that's how it goes.
With all the fires going on inLA this year, which were
horrible, and you're impacted ofcourse, for reference for
anybody who's listening, I havea stack of bags sitting behind
me right now, in case we need topick up our bags and go.
I am about probably four blocksfrom the edge of an evacuation
(28:49):
zone, and a few days ago Iwatched the fire like crest the
mountains into, like the SanFernando Valley, like in my
direction.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
So yeah, and to be clear though, I've been a lot
(29:19):
luckier than other people I evermet.
I always vibed with the peoplewho were like I'm born and
raised here.
Those were always my favoritepeople to interact with there,
because you didn't feel likethey were trying to get anything
from you.
They were just being genuinethemselves.
They had the bestrecommendations for you to go
eat and hang out in differentplaces to check out.
So I always loved being therebecause of those reasons.
(29:41):
My boy, jose shout out to himalways went to the Dodger games
with us and the Lakers games.
And I am curious to see becauseyou're from Missouri like me
and one thing that I feel likeevery time I talk to a friend
from home who lives in LA, whenthey'd say they go back to
Missouri, they constantly hearpeople be like oh, you live in
California.
(30:02):
And something that I've seen alot on the news are people being
not on the news, social media,people being like let it burn.
California is horrible.
Those people out there are sobad anyway, the devil is out
there.
That's why they're burning,because they need to go to hell,
kind of thing.
I always think about thoselocals who were born and raised
there.
They're just people trying tolive.
They're normal people, it's notsome crazy difference.
(30:24):
And then also, these people whoare cursing it don't realize
that a lot of people are just asRepublican and conservative as
them out there too that aresuffering hard because of this.
It's not a party lines thing,it is a tragedy.
I'm just curious if you'venoticed a lot of that coming in
from the outside while beingthere.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Well, I think where I want to start is one of the
things.
When you were talking aboutlike you always kind of like
vibed well with like the localsis, I almost was thinking I was
like there's a little bit of StLouis in that, yeah, which is
where, like you know, you're thebiggest thing around.
Everybody wants to say they'refrom LA.
Everybody around that area ofMissouri wants to be like I'm
from St Louis and you're likenah, I'm born and raised here.
You moved here.
(31:05):
There's a little bit of that,and I say that in like the
nicest way of being.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
I get what you're saying though.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
I think it keys into a little bit, though, too, of
like.
There is a little bit of thelike a lot of people do wish
they were here or from here orcould live here, and there's
always a little bit of ceilingaround that and like, let's be
clear, like I've had my fairshare of things to say
negatively about LA, but I'velived here 10 years now very
much identify as an Angeleno, asmuch as you know locals will
(31:31):
let me, I suppose.
But I think too it is such acity of transplants that there
is not as much safeguarding ofthat identity as long as you've
put in the due diligence to bepart of the community and to
love the community and to learnto live in the community.
Obviously, a lot of it is.
You know, we're the secondlargest city, we're the home of
Hollywood and a broader mediascheme, California not LA
(31:53):
specifically, but California hasSilicon Valley, and so I think
there is a very coordinatedattack to tear down the ideas
and the values of places likeLos Angeles that, even though I
hear a lot of people in and fromLA be like oh this city, I am
the first person to jump on thebandwagon and be like this
(32:15):
city's public transit sucks andlike I would love to just have
like a subway that worked orthat went anywhere valuable, but
at the same time, I am thefirst person that if anybody,
especially from back home, waslike do you ever want to move
back to Missouri, I'd be likehell.
No, yeah, I'd be like I'm goingto live in LA.
I moved here, I want to be here, and so like I think there's a
(32:38):
lot of like coordinated attacksaround that.
There's a lot of likecoordinated attacks around that.
There's a lot ofmisunderstanding about what this
city is and like you know what.
You're absolutely right.
There's some evil people wholive here.
There's some evil people thatlive in St Louis.
There's some evil people thatlive in New York.
There's some evil people thatlive in Miami.
Like it's a city, it's a cityof 10 million people, and so
(32:59):
there's a wide breadth ofexperience, no-transcript, and
(33:29):
they want to like share thingswith the world.
And it also means that becauseit's a city of artists, it's a
city of a lot of people thatscrap and fight just to be here,
and so when you see people belike, let it burn.
It's just a city of elites,it's just a city of rich people.
It like tears my heart outCause I'm like I'm not that this
(33:50):
fire coming over the hill.
There's a real danger.
It could burn down my apartmentbuilding, not my house, my
apartment building, my onebedroom apartment that I live in
with my partner.
That would be devastating.
And also, you know, it's adifferent thing to be like a $1
million house in Los Angelesbecause of, again, another
(34:10):
reason to kind of like throwshade at the city.
Like the housing market sucks.
But a $1 million house might beone bedroom, two bedrooms,
built in the 1930s, fallingapart on a tiny lot, not great
area.
That's just like full of likeweeds in the front yard or
whatever.
And that's no fault of thepeople that live there.
(34:30):
Like one of the things that youlearn really quickly when you
move to Los Angeles is mostpeople that own homes own homes
in these areas because theyinherited it from their parents
or their grandparents orwhatever.
So it's not even the fact thatthey were wealthy, it's the fact
that they just the family haskept the house for a couple of
(34:51):
generations, and good for them.
They bought the house in thethirties for, you know, $20,000
and now it's a million dollars,but that's no fault of the
people that live there.
And then the same breath, whenthe house burns down and the
insurance company doesn't payfor the claim.
They now have nothing.
You know, you kind of said itlike the thing that I think gets
thrown at LA the most is thisfeeling of like it's a city of
(35:14):
people who are out forthemselves and they don't care
about anybody else.
And then I like sit and I watchthe last week, like one of the
reports I was hearing was likefire stations and certain
charities and stuff are likewe're not taking donations
anymore because you gave us toomuch stuff.
Yeah, Like we have too manythings and we can't, we can't
(35:35):
keep giving them out.
Like the fire stations are likey'all have brought us enough
Gatorade and food and stuff likethat and we're really
appreciative, but we just wehave nowhere else to put it.
Yeah, so like thank you so much.
And like people came out indroves over the weekend to
volunteer and like I think too,we can neglect that.
(35:56):
Sir, actors can be selfish, orsure you know.
Like producers have like acertain stereotype, but at the
same time, film is an incrediblycollaborative art form is an
incredibly collaborative artform.
This is also a city that's usedto coordinating together and
working together and, you know,bringing a ton of people from
(36:18):
all walks of life into the samestudio and being like we all
need you to do your job so thatwe can make something together.
Yeah, so you know, it's been areally weird time because
obviously it's scary, it'sdevastating.
The thing I keep hearing frompeople is we're all checking in
with each other, being like, hey, are you okay?
(36:39):
Stay safe out there.
And it just feels like the mostcommon response people have
when you ask how are you doingIs they're just like I'm fried,
I have been anxious and scaredfor a week straight and I just
like my central nervous systemis exhausted and I can't sleep
and I just like want to havesome kind of sense of safety.
(37:00):
But we're all kind of likereally being open to each other.
Like I've seen a huge swing ina really inconsiderate, mean
direction, like post-covid, andthere are bits of that that feel
like they've kind of left, atleast for now.
Who knows they might come back,but everybody the past week has
(37:24):
seemed like much moreconsiderate, much more open,
much more like accommodating ofother people and much more
understanding, and you know ifthat's something that comes out
of this.
It's no consolation to thepeople who have lost their homes
and lost their lives, but it's.
(37:45):
It is a positive, it'ssomething good that I hope the
city will like.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Hang on to that feeling of about you and I know
we won't be together, I stillshow my love for you.
Forever, no stress.
I just wish you the best.
(38:20):
All I want to do is show that Icare and I will always be
loving you.
This is me singing my tune.
(38:44):
I will always be loving you.
That I wrote for my guy, mikeHarvey.
Loving you, dom Noir.
You're the reason why thissegment that we're about to do
was inspired.
Oh, it's you, indirectly.
It's not because of like youdid it, but your first episode
(39:06):
with me.
I believe you did the first one, yeah, the very first one, the
Understanding Family episode,which is a great one.
Go listen to it if you haven'tlistened to it yet.
A lot of people hit me up likethat episode was so incredible,
it was so great.
It took me three times to getthrough it.
They were like I couldn't.
I was relating so much, Icouldn't.
(39:29):
I had to, like, take a break.
I had to take breaks while Iwas watching it.
I feel like we can be negativeand be honest, and it's hard to
hear these conversations.
So I wanted to make it so thatat least one of the segments, no
matter what episode, waspositive.
So this segment is called youknow what I love?
Very simple I'm going to startoff and say you know what I love
this, and after that I'llexplain why.
(39:50):
And then I'll ask you andyou'll say you know what I love
this?
That's the second.
So we're going to start thisoff here.
You know what I love and westarted it off talking about it,
so I'm just going to jump backto it.
Star Wars I love Star Wars.
I have been going through a lotof the trilogies.
(40:11):
I feel like something that Ireally struggled with was the
criticism of the sequels trilogy, and I remember watching each.
But I feel like each time I'vegone into the theater for the
sequels and for the stuff that'shappened after the original you
know the prequel I feel likeever since then it's just
(40:34):
nonstop negative, negative,negative, negative, hard, hard,
hard, ruining people's lives.
And I'm like you know, I'mgoing to go in just as a Star
Wars fan, knowing the story fromepisode one, episode six let's
watch episode seven, see if itlines up.
Episode eight see if it linesup.
Episode nine see if it lines up.
(40:56):
And it was very refreshing to gothrough that sequel trilogy
again because it had a lot ofthe elements of the prequel that
I loved, where I didn't grow upwith the original Star Wars.
I started at episode two.
That was the first one I saw.
I started at episode two.
That was the first one I saw.
So I was already hip to crazyadvanced.
(41:17):
You know Jedi sabered fights.
General Grievous had sixlightsabers in one round.
Like it's like crazy, the stuffthat you got in episode two and
episode three and episode one,with dark mall having the two
sided blade.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
I'm going to give it, I, I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna
give it a shout out, because weit gets overlooked so often
that padre sequence is fantasticthere it is, see, see, and I'm
one of those people who's like,oh, it's cool, but you know like
they could have sped it up.
But yeah, I get what you say soI will say somebody had an
incredible idea recently on adifferent podcast which was like
(41:52):
why is is Disney Plus not donea pod racing show?
Sorry, keep going.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
as a Star Wars fan who, like I said, my favorites
started with the prequel.
I will always admit that EmpireStrikes Back is one of the
greatest things that's everhappened, so that's number one
(42:20):
in my book.
But after that it's episodethree.
I'm a big fan of those prequelepisodes.
And then episode seven thatfight in the snow with the
lightsabers was fantastic.
I really enjoy Kylo Ren ingeneral.
(42:40):
He's one of my favorite StarWars characters.
I feel like he, adam Driver, isjust a knockout of an actor and
he really worked with what hehad and he shined with it.
Worked with what he had and heshined with it.
And the last jedi I a lot.
I know a lot of people didn'tlike it.
I don't.
I didn't like some of thedirections that ryan johnson
went with, but I was verythrilled with just how
(43:06):
incredible the quality of thatthat movie is.
It's an incredible qualitymovie and the weakest one of, of
course, is episode nine, andthat's just because I felt like
they shoehorned so much stuffthat they didn't have to and
didn't create an original story.
They could have gone originalbut I feel like they doubled
down.
Jj Abrams doubled down on kindof recreating stuff that already
(43:27):
happened.
Episode seven was just a basic.
Episode four, rewind, and thenEpisode 9, it's like, okay, what
can we do?
Let's bring Star Destroyersthat all have the power to
destroy a planet.
Let's do that.
It's the exact same thing.
Give us something else,something different.
(43:48):
I'm looking forward to Thrawnand the Mandalorian movie that's
coming out.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
How about you?
You know what I love.
I love coffee.
Oh, and it's funny because onthe last episode that I was on,
I was talking about caffeineconsumption and how I had to
reframe that.
But exactly, it's really funny.
My journey to living coffee camewith.
My parents were the kind ofpeople that would drink like six
cups of coffee every singlemorning, would make like an
industrial size pot of coffeeand drink all of it by like 10
am, and I couldn't get into itas a kid, and it was because my
(44:24):
mom would go oh, you want to trycoffee?
My mom was crazy because shestarted drinking coffee when she
was like seven, so she just, Iguess, was like, well, you
should drink coffee, you're like12, um, and she would brew me a
cup of coffee and she'd put aton of sugar into it and then
she'd give it to me and I'd belike I don't like it.
And then I had somebody when Iwas in my 20s be like, I'm gonna
make you some coffee, I havethe good stuff, I'm gonna make
(44:47):
it for you and they gave it tome black, and I was like, oh,
this is what it could have beenthe whole time.
Yeah, I love that very likebitter taste it.
I literally can feel sometimeswhen I take that first sip of
coffee, like my body relaxing mynervous system, like focusing
(45:07):
in and just not in a likeenergetic focus way, but just a
like almost like you put theblinders on and everything else
kind of comes into focus.
And I had a really close friend.
I am somebody who can drinklike really bad black, itty
coffee.
You can just hand it to me,I'll be like it's fine.
(45:27):
But I have a friend who alsoloves coffee and they have given
me a new appreciation for itbecause they have they have
every single method.
They have the chemex, they havethe espresso makers, they have
the fancy like coffee makersthat like bring in the ph
balances and you can look up theroast you're putting into the
(45:50):
pot and that they do everythingit needs to do to give you the
best possible pour, like it's aninvestment for them and it's a
ritual for them.
And there's some of it also tohearken back to our previous
conversation around like the teaceremonies and things of like
the craft that goes into buyinga good roast that's been like
harvested and roasted in a waythat is respectful and also
(46:12):
preparing it in a very specific,laborious and like meticulous
way that can really just likebring a new sense of
appreciation.
Listening to them talk aboutcoffee and how they prepare
coffee.
They literally have said to methey're like it's, it's's my
religious ritual every morning,yeah, and it's my thing.
(46:35):
That helps me feel connected toother communities that have
roasted and fostered thesebeings and done these things,
but also to know that this comesfrom the earth and we have to
do the conservation efforts tokeep this thing alive and keep
it special.
And, like you know, I love thatsense of community that can
(46:58):
come from it, not just fromkeeping in mind the people that
have made it, but also just likewhen I can sit and have a good
cup of coffee with a friend ofmine and foster great
conversations like the yeah.
So I just really love coffeeand I love, like, the place it's
taken in my life and it's not ahuge place, but it's it's
enough that I respect it andwant to give it its due as
(47:25):
something that can be specialand something that can be given
a lot of attention and care toand be important for people, and
not just something that we grabon the go so that we have the
mental awareness to not crashour cars at six in the morning
on the way to work or whatever.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
We've made it to the end of the episode and I
appreciate your time and I feellike this is a good time and
it's always great talking to you.
You know we do this speakingabout everything we want to talk
about.
We've gone through all ourtopics.
All I want to know now is howdo you feel?
Speaker 1 (48:04):
I feel good, regardless of the fire,
regardless of politics oranything like that.
2024 was really good.
I'm thankful for it and, forthe first time in a long time,
I'm actually very hopeful for2025.
It's a good feeling to have.
I feel good, and I feel evenbetter now that I got to talk to
(48:25):
one of my great conversation.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Cheers to you, thank you very much, man, good to see
you.
I want to thank you forlistening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast.
The opening quote credit goesto Martin Luther King and shout
out to my guy, jacob Buck, forcoming on to the pod.
(48:50):
You can follow Jacob onInstagram at J-A-B-U-C-K-E.
Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us
a good rating five stars, please, and thank you.
You can support the show byclicking the link at the bottom
of the episode description.
If you like this episode, youshould check out our previous
episodes titled Tea Ceremonies,travel Stories, more with Jacob
(49:12):
Buckemeyer or UnderstandingFamily.
Those are the two shows.
They are both great listens.
Check them out.
Follow me at D-O-M underscoreL-A-M-O-U-R on Instagram or at
DonLamorecom.
I'm Don Lamore, much love.
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