July 30, 2025 • 28 mins
Turning points often arrive when we least expect them. As I celebrate my 36th birthday this week, I found myself at a crossroads with this podcast - something I've poured my heart into creating for nearly 200 episodes.
The realization hit me like a lightning bolt: I've never given any single creative pursuit 100% of my focus and energy. My music, my performances, my writing – all have been competing for attention while I juggle multiple commitments. This podcast, as much as I love it, has sometimes pushed other dreams to the background. The interviews, writing, editing, marketing, and financial investment have consumed energy that could be directed toward completing my album and discovering my true purpose.
This isn't a full goodbye, but rather a necessary pause. I'm stepping back to create space for deeper focus, to see what happens when I finally give my music the undivided attention it deserves. The song "Special" I've written reflects this journey – the lifelong desire to create something unique and meaningful, while battling the self-doubt and imagined criticism that lives in my head.
What I've learned through this podcast is priceless. The genuine connections, the vulnerable moments, the creative surprises that emerge during conversation – these experiences have shown me what's possible when you commit to creating something authentic. Now I'm taking that knowledge and applying it to the next chapter.
If you've been part of this journey – whether as a listener, guest, or supporter – thank you from the bottom of my heart. The podcast will remain available, and I may occasionally return with updates. But for now, I'm clearing away distractions and giving myself permission to pursue one dream with everything I have.
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Featured song: "This Little Light Of Love" DEMO by Dom L'Amour
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @dom_lamour on Instagram. Or at
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
so we had a talk.
That was the end of my glimlevitavitt 14.
I'm going to sip on this and gothrough where I'm at right now.
I turned 36 this week 31st it'salways cool to have a birthday
(00:43):
31st it's always cool to have abirthday.
But of course, this year and ifyou've been listening to the
pod, you've been noticing I'vebeen kind of on a little journey
, trying to understand mypurpose, trying to really
establish what I want for me,trying to be more disciplined,
(01:08):
trying to be more disciplined,trying to be more in control of
what I can control.
So we come to the podcast.
This year has been really coolto me.
I've had some greatconversations, but I feel like I
(01:28):
have to take a break.
I feel like I put a lot ofenergy, excitement, time.
I put a lot of myself into thisproject.
I always tell people it's oneof my favorite things I've ever
(01:49):
done.
And it all started because, youknow, I wanted to challenge
myself.
I wanted to see if I could dosomething that I've always said
I wanted to do.
I wanted to host a show.
I wanted to write episodes.
I wanted to interview people.
I wanted to be personable.
I wanted to explore a differentavenue of my personality.
(02:13):
I wanted to be more vulnerable,I wanted to create, and I feel
like I've done that.
At this point, I sit down in myoffice and I try to ask myself
(02:42):
what do I want in life?
And I feel like I'm in a greatplace, but I still don't have an
actual answer.
That's difficult, you know,because I feel like I've worked
really hard, I've rehearsed and,like I said, I'm at a place now
(03:06):
where I am performing everyweek, unless it's summertime,
but I'm usually working a lotand meeting new people, creating
.
I still feel like there'sanother level that I can achieve
(03:27):
when it comes to my creations,and so I'm starting to look at
things in my life where it'slike what purpose is this
serving towards my overallpurpose?
I've said I think my purpose isto create opportunities for
people to shine, which thispodcast is, that it is another
opportunity for that, so itmakes me go back to the drawing
board.
Is that the purpose?
(03:47):
Is that the only thing?
What is the true purpose?
What do I want?
And I want to create, I want toperform, I want to put together
stories.
I want to more than anything.
I guess the real answer is Ijust want to be recognized for
(04:08):
doing that.
I want people to see me andknow exactly what I'm doing,
instead of oh, you're doing this, you're doing that, you're
doing so much I don't even knowwhat, really what your focus is.
I talked to a friend the otherday and I was like I don't think
I've ever given one specificthing 100% ever.
(04:31):
Which is weird because it's thetruth.
Whenever it came to my albums,you know I was working doubles
at a bar that didn't care aboutme and I was giving them more
than half of the energy I wasgiving to my project.
My project always came secondWith the wedding band.
(04:53):
You know I give so much energyto that.
There's so many hours in theweek that goes to memorizing
music.
When it comes to that day, thatwhole day is dedicated to the
wedding band.
I try to write, I try to createwhile I'm there, but it just
there isn't time in that day ifI want to do my best on stage,
(05:15):
and then the next day, half ofthat day I'm traveling back home
, or the day before I'm going tosleep three hours earlier so I
can wake up and make it to thebus, and so the day before and
the day after are also beingtaken away from me to focus on
something specific.
I don't really know how any ofthis is gonna really go.
(05:46):
I don't know if that's reallyme anymore when it comes to
giving 100% to something.
Maybe it's just not somethingthat I can do.
But going back to what I cancontrol, I can't control the
things that I put out.
I can control the things that Iput my heart into and I don't
think this podcast is suckinganything negative out of me.
(06:09):
I love everything I've donewith this, but it is taking time
.
It is very frustrating trying towrestle with people's calendars
and schedules.
I mean I've done almost 200episodes over 200, I think and
(06:34):
those 200 were very hard to gettogether.
Some people I really care aboutI've kind of had to check
myself.
Say, hey, you know, yeah, theymight not have prioritized this.
They might not have I don'tknow.
I don't know if they're takingyou serious.
I don't know how people arereacting, but I have to make
(06:54):
sure that my reaction isn'toverreacting.
I can't I can't get mad atpeople for putting themselves
first.
I need to put myself first too.
So I want to really focus on mymusic.
I really want to focus on myfuture.
(07:17):
What is going to be my nextstep for real?
And I want time.
Next step for real, and I wanttime.
I want to be able to reallyenjoy this time with my wife and
family and truly come to aconclusion that I can start to
go 110 towards and my album.
(07:39):
I feel like that is the thing Iwant to focus on now.
I believe that it's anincredible thing to kind of help
me, if anything, start to findthat focus.
If I can put 100% into that andrelease something I'm proud of,
then I can move on and say, ok,is this what I want to do, or
(08:01):
do I need to really considerwhat my life is, what my purpose
is?
The one thing I know I'm goodat and I feel very proud of and
I've seen go incredible is myrelationship with my wife and
our marriage and life here hasbeen incredible.
Maybe that's it, but then againI can see ways that me being
(08:37):
the best, me Working towards mygoals, can also help that.
So I don't want to totallycancel out anything else but the
podcast.
I want to approach this alittle different.
It's been incredible these pastcouple seasons season three
(08:59):
being able to really connectwith people and put together
episodes that I'm so proud of.
I want to clear that space inmy head for creation other than
that podcast and I just thinkit's time.
I will keep the podcast and Iwill still post online and if I
(09:25):
have announcements or anything,I'll kind of use this as a
another newsletter to post mymindset and stuff I'm going
through and things I'm workingon.
But the interview process, thewriting the episodes, the
editing the episodes, themarketing the episodes, the
paying for all editing theepisodes, the marketing the
(09:45):
episodes, the paying for all ofthe stuff and all of that energy
needs to be pushed somewhereelse and I'm okay with that.
I appreciate every person whohas taken time to sit with me,
(10:07):
my friends, anyone who's reachedout and actually tried to
collaborate.
That's been dope.
I'm still open to that.
If you are listening to this,I'm still open to creating with
this platform.
If you are listening to this,I'm still open to creating with
(10:28):
this platform.
I just I really need some timeto really push myself.
I feel like I've enjoyed myclean eating.
I've enjoyed my hikes andactivity, my yoga, breathing
exercises, drinking this scotchhas been really.
(10:50):
This is actually what I'veworked towards to be able to say
you know what?
I'm going to drink the scotchtoday because I know that I've
been very good and I've pushedmyself.
And you know, tomorrow I'mgoing to go on my hike and I'm
going to keep on doing my yogaand I'm going to keep on taking
(11:10):
it easy.
This is good in moderation.
I haven't had a drink of scotchall year.
I'm making it easy.
(11:30):
This is good in moderation.
I haven't had a drink of scotchall year.
And for my 36th birthday, Ithink that's a time to celebrate
and it's a time to reflect andit's a time to kind of be in
this position because this is metruly making this decision.
For me, this podcast issomething I've loved and I found
myself going the extra mile andstaying overnight and missing
(11:53):
rehearsals or doing stuff sothat I can get this episode out,
so that I can keep this up.
But things have taken abackseat to this podcast and the
purpose for the podcast is topromote what I'm doing, and if
(12:13):
I'm doing this more than theother thing, that's a problem.
So I hope people get a chanceto really listen to the episodes
, to the stories, take somethingaway.
I feel like a lot of peoplehave shown their whole heart on
(12:34):
a few of these episodes and someare fun episodes that we're
just, you know, connecting butevery episode has that, that
human connection that I feellike a lot of us are missing.
I found myself feeling like Ineeded more and more, feeling
like I need it more and more.
(12:54):
I found myself limiting myselffrom social media or limiting
myself from binge watching TV orlimiting myself from so much,
but I really don't like socialmedia.
I don't want to be on there.
Maybe this is a chance toeliminate a little bit more of
that.
I really enjoy getting out andmeeting new people.
(13:17):
Maybe this is an opportunity togive me more time to do that.
It's something I love, but alsoit isn't truly I don't know.
Like I said, thank you forlistening, thank you for the
(13:44):
comments, thank you for thereviews.
Thank you to my sponsors thathave sent a couple of dollars
every month to help me pay forit.
Thank you to my friends who'vecome on the show.
I'm very proud of this platformand I'm going to miss the
(14:08):
feeling I get when I release onWednesdays.
I'm going to miss the feelingof listening to an episode and
being like.
This really felt good.
This came together great.
I read a book and one of thethings about it was they say you
should continue to work on yourcraft so that the unknown can
(14:30):
shine Meaning when you performand you do these things and you
do it well and you constantly doit.
At times there will be momentswhere you create something or
you'll say something or you'lldo something, and then
afterwards you'll look back andbe like where did that even come
from?
I didn't prep for that.
It's just somewhere in yourhead and that's that unknown
(14:54):
coming to light and the workthat you're putting in rewarding
you Because even in yoursubconscious you're still
creating, you're able to pushyourself to another level, and
this show has truly given me alot of those moments.
I feel like some people wouldbe like Dominique that's a hell
(15:18):
of a question and I write mostof these episodes out completely
, even sometimes a line in line,to know exactly what I want to
say, what I want to push.
But some of my favorite momentshave come just from genuine
conversation.
For me, be like, wait a minute,let me go back to that and I
want you to dig deeper on thatsubject.
(15:40):
Small, I know, but as a creator, as a performer, as someone who
loves this shit, but as acreator, as a performer, as
someone who loves this shit,there's nothing better than
doing something that is out ofbody and then looking back and
(16:02):
being like man.
That's why I love to do it.
So this is hard for me.
This is very hard for me, butI'm going to be very, very Proud
Of the music I create, themusic I put together with others
.
I'm going to be really proud ofAll the 110 I put into this
(16:24):
next project that I'm working on, and I really want to give
myself A chance to truly proveto myself that I can really
create something unique.
On this next project, I wrote asong called Special and when I
sat down and write the song, Ireally wanted to create a song
(16:47):
that spoke to that little hiddenvoice in my head and what it's
saying.
Ever since I was in school Iwas younger I always just wanted
to be special.
(17:07):
I always wanted someone to lookat me and be like wow, that
kid's got it, that kid's good.
Wow, that dude is doingsomething that I want to do or
he's inspiring me.
That kid is great.
But you know, you get to a pointwhere you know you don't want
(17:29):
people to judge you.
You don't want people to lookat you like you're dumb for even
trying.
And so even with that sentimentof the song I've gone back and
forth on, even if I'm going toput it on the project Because
it's something so simple.
(17:49):
But in my head is like I couldhear the criticism.
I can hear people saying he'sstupid or I can hear people
being like, oh, he'sself-absorbed, why he want to be
spent.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm creating these things in myown head.
But it's honest, when I sit downand I wrote that song and I
(18:12):
thought about it and I looked atthe lyrics before I even sang
them, I really felt like thatwas something that I truly want.
I had a moment with a familymember who was really down.
I felt they wereunderappreciated and when they
(18:37):
said that, it broke my heart.
But on top of breaking my heart, it made me really think about
my place and how I feel.
In many ways I do feel that,but it's also a lot of a mental
(18:58):
game of me creating this idea.
You know, I feelunderappreciated.
I feel underappreciated.
I feel like things that I putout or people that I work with.
For some reason I've createdthis, this mental that things
(19:23):
are going to go one way, butthen usually they don't.
Nothing usually goes the waythat I plan in my head.
I have to embrace that, becausein many ways a lot of people
still kind of surprise me withhow much they appreciate me and
tell me that thing that you didyears ago.
(19:44):
I watch that every once in awhile.
It makes me happy.
I'm just like you know, I wantedto hear that the week it was
released but it took three yearsto hear it.
And in my head, for some reason, the whole time I'm like I'm
underappreciated.
No one cares and this and that.
But it's like people do care.
Some people just don'tcommunicate it.
Some people communicate it tothemselves.
(20:06):
Some people show theirappreciation another way.
You know, when I release a postor something or I talk to
someone about a project, theythey show their appreciation.
Then, wow, I'm so excited foryou, that's something that's so
great, that you're so great at,and I'm just like I hear it.
(20:28):
I see, I feel it a lot, but Istill find ways to tell myself
it's not happening.
It just comes back to the ideathat I'm working on me and this
is another step towards that.
I think this is a good thingfor me to take some time.
This is a good thing for me totake some time, turn off the TV,
(20:58):
turn off the social media, andif I just sit in front of my
writing app or in front of myjournal for an hour and nothing
is put down, I feel like that'smore important to give myself
that opportunity than to suck upall of this madness that's
going on around us.
This morning I listened to SethMeyers and he just was going on
(21:22):
about Epstein and Trump.
And I listened to NPR and helistened to all the stuff that's
going on in Gaza and Israel andnone of it makes me happy.
But I can turn it off and I cancreate something that hopefully
(21:49):
will inspire people.
I mean, that's what you want,right, for yourself at least.
So this isn't goodbye.
You will hear from me, maybe onthis platform, maybe in other
(22:09):
ways, but Cheers to you all.
I appreciate y'all.
If you want to do anything withthe pie, just hit me up, but
I'm going to.
I'm going to take a break in.
I may come back in a year, sowe'll see If not.
(22:35):
It's been an incredibleexperience.
This has been a lot of fun tocreate, to nail down, to truly
experiment with, and it helpedme see that I can do something
incredible.
I'm just going to keep ontrying to do that and see what
(23:02):
life will really bring towardsme, because I have some things
that I want to do, and 36 is nottoo old to do it.
It's just a matter of having aclear vision, a clear guide
towards that goal, or not goal,that target.
(23:24):
I don't want to limit myselfanymore.
I want to shoot through thesetargets.
I can do it.
I want to give myself thatopportunity.
Thank you Once again.
Y'all be safe.
Much love you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(24:05):
you, you, you, you.
I think for us, like you arelike the perfect, like image of
like a black woman, like.
So I always wondered if youfelt that pressure.
No, light is not heavy.
Carry light, share light.
(24:29):
Light is not heavy.
Grandma taught me lots of thingsBring people joy, use my gift
and sing.
I'd lean on her her arm, I'dcling.
The world lost such a preciousthing.
(24:51):
I'll never forget her.
She made life so much better.
I close my eyes and I can hearher Preaching and sharing her
love Straight from above, thislittle light of love I'm so
(25:19):
thankful of.
She is my glove.
Straight from above this littlelight of love I'm so thankful
of.
Family first, do well in school, treat people right.
The golden rule Set you somegoals, be brave, don't be cruel.
(25:43):
Her wisdom was my special tool.
I'll never forget it.
Stuck in my head, embedded Herlove, I can still feel it.
I cherish that and I spread herlove.
(26:09):
Straight from above, thislittle light of love I'm so
thankful of.
She is my glove.
Straight from above, thislittle light of love I'm so
thankful of.
Yes, I can hear her sing to me.
(26:33):
I can hear my grandma sing.
Yes, she would always sing thisone song, yes, and it goes like
this Sing it with me, amen, amen, amen, amen.
(27:03):
One more time now Amen, amen,amen, amen, amen, amen, amen,
amen.
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine.
(27:27):
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine, let it shine
, let it shine, let it shine.
(27:49):
That's my favorite part.
Everywhere that I go, baby, I'mgonna let it shine.
Everywhere that I go, baby, I'mgonna let it shine.
Everywhere that I go, baby, I'mgonna let it shine, let it
(28:17):
shine, let it shine, let itshine, let it shine.
Yes, one more time, this littlelight of mine, I'm gonna let it
(28:38):
shine.
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine, let it shine
, let it shine, let it shine.
so we had a talk.
That was the end of my glimlevitavitt 14.
I'm going to sip on this and gothrough where I'm at right now.
I turned 36 this week 31st it'salways cool to have a birthday
(00:43):
31st it's always cool to have abirthday.
But of course, this year and ifyou've been listening to the
pod, you've been noticing I'vebeen kind of on a little journey
, trying to understand mypurpose, trying to really
establish what I want for me,trying to be more disciplined,
(01:08):
trying to be more disciplined,trying to be more in control of
what I can control.
So we come to the podcast.
This year has been really coolto me.
I've had some greatconversations, but I feel like I
(01:28):
have to take a break.
I feel like I put a lot ofenergy, excitement, time.
I put a lot of myself into thisproject.
I always tell people it's oneof my favorite things I've ever
(01:49):
done.
And it all started because, youknow, I wanted to challenge
myself.
I wanted to see if I could dosomething that I've always said
I wanted to do.
I wanted to host a show.
I wanted to write episodes.
I wanted to interview people.
I wanted to be personable.
I wanted to explore a differentavenue of my personality.
(02:13):
I wanted to be more vulnerable,I wanted to create, and I feel
like I've done that.
At this point, I sit down in myoffice and I try to ask myself
(02:42):
what do I want in life?
And I feel like I'm in a greatplace, but I still don't have an
actual answer.
That's difficult, you know,because I feel like I've worked
really hard, I've rehearsed and,like I said, I'm at a place now
(03:06):
where I am performing everyweek, unless it's summertime,
but I'm usually working a lotand meeting new people, creating
.
I still feel like there'sanother level that I can achieve
(03:27):
when it comes to my creations,and so I'm starting to look at
things in my life where it'slike what purpose is this
serving towards my overallpurpose?
I've said I think my purpose isto create opportunities for
people to shine, which thispodcast is, that it is another
opportunity for that, so itmakes me go back to the drawing
board.
Is that the purpose?
(03:47):
Is that the only thing?
What is the true purpose?
What do I want?
And I want to create, I want toperform, I want to put together
stories.
I want to more than anything.
I guess the real answer is Ijust want to be recognized for
(04:08):
doing that.
I want people to see me andknow exactly what I'm doing,
instead of oh, you're doing this, you're doing that, you're
doing so much I don't even knowwhat, really what your focus is.
I talked to a friend the otherday and I was like I don't think
I've ever given one specificthing 100% ever.
(04:31):
Which is weird because it's thetruth.
Whenever it came to my albums,you know I was working doubles
at a bar that didn't care aboutme and I was giving them more
than half of the energy I wasgiving to my project.
My project always came secondWith the wedding band.
(04:53):
You know I give so much energyto that.
There's so many hours in theweek that goes to memorizing
music.
When it comes to that day, thatwhole day is dedicated to the
wedding band.
I try to write, I try to createwhile I'm there, but it just
there isn't time in that day ifI want to do my best on stage,
(05:15):
and then the next day, half ofthat day I'm traveling back home
, or the day before I'm going tosleep three hours earlier so I
can wake up and make it to thebus, and so the day before and
the day after are also beingtaken away from me to focus on
something specific.
I don't really know how any ofthis is gonna really go.
(05:46):
I don't know if that's reallyme anymore when it comes to
giving 100% to something.
Maybe it's just not somethingthat I can do.
But going back to what I cancontrol, I can't control the
things that I put out.
I can control the things that Iput my heart into and I don't
think this podcast is suckinganything negative out of me.
(06:09):
I love everything I've donewith this, but it is taking time
.
It is very frustrating trying towrestle with people's calendars
and schedules.
I mean I've done almost 200episodes over 200, I think and
(06:34):
those 200 were very hard to gettogether.
Some people I really care aboutI've kind of had to check
myself.
Say, hey, you know, yeah, theymight not have prioritized this.
They might not have I don'tknow.
I don't know if they're takingyou serious.
I don't know how people arereacting, but I have to make
(06:54):
sure that my reaction isn'toverreacting.
I can't I can't get mad atpeople for putting themselves
first.
I need to put myself first too.
So I want to really focus on mymusic.
I really want to focus on myfuture.
(07:17):
What is going to be my nextstep for real?
And I want time.
Next step for real, and I wanttime.
I want to be able to reallyenjoy this time with my wife and
family and truly come to aconclusion that I can start to
go 110 towards and my album.
(07:39):
I feel like that is the thing Iwant to focus on now.
I believe that it's anincredible thing to kind of help
me, if anything, start to findthat focus.
If I can put 100% into that andrelease something I'm proud of,
then I can move on and say, ok,is this what I want to do, or
(08:01):
do I need to really considerwhat my life is, what my purpose
is?
The one thing I know I'm goodat and I feel very proud of and
I've seen go incredible is myrelationship with my wife and
our marriage and life here hasbeen incredible.
Maybe that's it, but then againI can see ways that me being
(08:37):
the best, me Working towards mygoals, can also help that.
So I don't want to totallycancel out anything else but the
podcast.
I want to approach this alittle different.
It's been incredible these pastcouple seasons season three
(08:59):
being able to really connectwith people and put together
episodes that I'm so proud of.
I want to clear that space inmy head for creation other than
that podcast and I just thinkit's time.
I will keep the podcast and Iwill still post online and if I
(09:25):
have announcements or anything,I'll kind of use this as a
another newsletter to post mymindset and stuff I'm going
through and things I'm workingon.
But the interview process, thewriting the episodes, the
editing the episodes, themarketing the episodes, the
paying for all editing theepisodes, the marketing the
(09:45):
episodes, the paying for all ofthe stuff and all of that energy
needs to be pushed somewhereelse and I'm okay with that.
I appreciate every person whohas taken time to sit with me,
(10:07):
my friends, anyone who's reachedout and actually tried to
collaborate.
That's been dope.
I'm still open to that.
If you are listening to this,I'm still open to creating with
this platform.
If you are listening to this,I'm still open to creating with
(10:28):
this platform.
I just I really need some timeto really push myself.
I feel like I've enjoyed myclean eating.
I've enjoyed my hikes andactivity, my yoga, breathing
exercises, drinking this scotchhas been really.
(10:50):
This is actually what I'veworked towards to be able to say
you know what?
I'm going to drink the scotchtoday because I know that I've
been very good and I've pushedmyself.
And you know, tomorrow I'mgoing to go on my hike and I'm
going to keep on doing my yogaand I'm going to keep on taking
(11:10):
it easy.
This is good in moderation.
I haven't had a drink of scotchall year.
I'm making it easy.
(11:30):
This is good in moderation.
I haven't had a drink of scotchall year.
And for my 36th birthday, Ithink that's a time to celebrate
and it's a time to reflect andit's a time to kind of be in
this position because this is metruly making this decision.
For me, this podcast issomething I've loved and I found
myself going the extra mile andstaying overnight and missing
(11:53):
rehearsals or doing stuff sothat I can get this episode out,
so that I can keep this up.
But things have taken abackseat to this podcast and the
purpose for the podcast is topromote what I'm doing, and if
(12:13):
I'm doing this more than theother thing, that's a problem.
So I hope people get a chanceto really listen to the episodes
, to the stories, take somethingaway.
I feel like a lot of peoplehave shown their whole heart on
(12:34):
a few of these episodes and someare fun episodes that we're
just, you know, connecting butevery episode has that, that
human connection that I feellike a lot of us are missing.
I found myself feeling like Ineeded more and more, feeling
like I need it more and more.
(12:54):
I found myself limiting myselffrom social media or limiting
myself from binge watching TV orlimiting myself from so much,
but I really don't like socialmedia.
I don't want to be on there.
Maybe this is a chance toeliminate a little bit more of
that.
I really enjoy getting out andmeeting new people.
(13:17):
Maybe this is an opportunity togive me more time to do that.
It's something I love, but alsoit isn't truly I don't know.
Like I said, thank you forlistening, thank you for the
(13:44):
comments, thank you for thereviews.
Thank you to my sponsors thathave sent a couple of dollars
every month to help me pay forit.
Thank you to my friends who'vecome on the show.
I'm very proud of this platformand I'm going to miss the
(14:08):
feeling I get when I release onWednesdays.
I'm going to miss the feelingof listening to an episode and
being like.
This really felt good.
This came together great.
I read a book and one of thethings about it was they say you
should continue to work on yourcraft so that the unknown can
(14:30):
shine Meaning when you performand you do these things and you
do it well and you constantly doit.
At times there will be momentswhere you create something or
you'll say something or you'lldo something, and then
afterwards you'll look back andbe like where did that even come
from?
I didn't prep for that.
It's just somewhere in yourhead and that's that unknown
(14:54):
coming to light and the workthat you're putting in rewarding
you Because even in yoursubconscious you're still
creating, you're able to pushyourself to another level, and
this show has truly given me alot of those moments.
I feel like some people wouldbe like Dominique that's a hell
(15:18):
of a question and I write mostof these episodes out completely
, even sometimes a line in line,to know exactly what I want to
say, what I want to push.
But some of my favorite momentshave come just from genuine
conversation.
For me, be like, wait a minute,let me go back to that and I
want you to dig deeper on thatsubject.
(15:40):
Small, I know, but as a creator, as a performer, as someone who
loves this shit, but as acreator, as a performer, as
someone who loves this shit,there's nothing better than
doing something that is out ofbody and then looking back and
(16:02):
being like man.
That's why I love to do it.
So this is hard for me.
This is very hard for me, butI'm going to be very, very Proud
Of the music I create, themusic I put together with others
.
I'm going to be really proud ofAll the 110 I put into this
(16:24):
next project that I'm working on, and I really want to give
myself A chance to truly proveto myself that I can really
create something unique.
On this next project, I wrote asong called Special and when I
sat down and write the song, Ireally wanted to create a song
(16:47):
that spoke to that little hiddenvoice in my head and what it's
saying.
Ever since I was in school Iwas younger I always just wanted
to be special.
(17:07):
I always wanted someone to lookat me and be like wow, that
kid's got it, that kid's good.
Wow, that dude is doingsomething that I want to do or
he's inspiring me.
That kid is great.
But you know, you get to a pointwhere you know you don't want
(17:29):
people to judge you.
You don't want people to lookat you like you're dumb for even
trying.
And so even with that sentimentof the song I've gone back and
forth on, even if I'm going toput it on the project Because
it's something so simple.
(17:49):
But in my head is like I couldhear the criticism.
I can hear people saying he'sstupid or I can hear people
being like, oh, he'sself-absorbed, why he want to be
spent.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm creating these things in myown head.
But it's honest, when I sit downand I wrote that song and I
(18:12):
thought about it and I looked atthe lyrics before I even sang
them, I really felt like thatwas something that I truly want.
I had a moment with a familymember who was really down.
I felt they wereunderappreciated and when they
(18:37):
said that, it broke my heart.
But on top of breaking my heart, it made me really think about
my place and how I feel.
In many ways I do feel that,but it's also a lot of a mental
(18:58):
game of me creating this idea.
You know, I feelunderappreciated.
I feel underappreciated.
I feel like things that I putout or people that I work with.
For some reason I've createdthis, this mental that things
(19:23):
are going to go one way, butthen usually they don't.
Nothing usually goes the waythat I plan in my head.
I have to embrace that, becausein many ways a lot of people
still kind of surprise me withhow much they appreciate me and
tell me that thing that you didyears ago.
(19:44):
I watch that every once in awhile.
It makes me happy.
I'm just like you know, I wantedto hear that the week it was
released but it took three yearsto hear it.
And in my head, for some reason, the whole time I'm like I'm
underappreciated.
No one cares and this and that.
But it's like people do care.
Some people just don'tcommunicate it.
Some people communicate it tothemselves.
(20:06):
Some people show theirappreciation another way.
You know, when I release a postor something or I talk to
someone about a project, theythey show their appreciation.
Then, wow, I'm so excited foryou, that's something that's so
great, that you're so great at,and I'm just like I hear it.
(20:28):
I see, I feel it a lot, but Istill find ways to tell myself
it's not happening.
It just comes back to the ideathat I'm working on me and this
is another step towards that.
I think this is a good thingfor me to take some time.
This is a good thing for me totake some time, turn off the TV,
(20:58):
turn off the social media, andif I just sit in front of my
writing app or in front of myjournal for an hour and nothing
is put down, I feel like that'smore important to give myself
that opportunity than to suck upall of this madness that's
going on around us.
This morning I listened to SethMeyers and he just was going on
(21:22):
about Epstein and Trump.
And I listened to NPR and helistened to all the stuff that's
going on in Gaza and Israel andnone of it makes me happy.
But I can turn it off and I cancreate something that hopefully
(21:49):
will inspire people.
I mean, that's what you want,right, for yourself at least.
So this isn't goodbye.
You will hear from me, maybe onthis platform, maybe in other
(22:09):
ways, but Cheers to you all.
I appreciate y'all.
If you want to do anything withthe pie, just hit me up, but
I'm going to.
I'm going to take a break in.
I may come back in a year, sowe'll see If not.
(22:35):
It's been an incredibleexperience.
This has been a lot of fun tocreate, to nail down, to truly
experiment with, and it helpedme see that I can do something
incredible.
I'm just going to keep ontrying to do that and see what
(23:02):
life will really bring towardsme, because I have some things
that I want to do, and 36 is nottoo old to do it.
It's just a matter of having aclear vision, a clear guide
towards that goal, or not goal,that target.
(23:24):
I don't want to limit myselfanymore.
I want to shoot through thesetargets.
I can do it.
I want to give myself thatopportunity.
Thank you Once again.
Y'all be safe.
Much love you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(24:05):
you, you, you, you.
I think for us, like you arelike the perfect, like image of
like a black woman, like.
So I always wondered if youfelt that pressure.
No, light is not heavy.
Carry light, share light.
(24:29):
Light is not heavy.
Grandma taught me lots of thingsBring people joy, use my gift
and sing.
I'd lean on her her arm, I'dcling.
The world lost such a preciousthing.
(24:51):
I'll never forget her.
She made life so much better.
I close my eyes and I can hearher Preaching and sharing her
love Straight from above, thislittle light of love I'm so
(25:19):
thankful of.
She is my glove.
Straight from above this littlelight of love I'm so thankful
of.
Family first, do well in school, treat people right.
The golden rule Set you somegoals, be brave, don't be cruel.
(25:43):
Her wisdom was my special tool.
I'll never forget it.
Stuck in my head, embedded Herlove, I can still feel it.
I cherish that and I spread herlove.
(26:09):
Straight from above, thislittle light of love I'm so
thankful of.
She is my glove.
Straight from above, thislittle light of love I'm so
thankful of.
Yes, I can hear her sing to me.
(26:33):
I can hear my grandma sing.
Yes, she would always sing thisone song, yes, and it goes like
this Sing it with me, amen, amen, amen, amen.
(27:03):
One more time now Amen, amen,amen, amen, amen, amen, amen,
amen.
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine.
(27:27):
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine, let it shine
, let it shine, let it shine.
(27:49):
That's my favorite part.
Everywhere that I go, baby, I'mgonna let it shine.
Everywhere that I go, baby, I'mgonna let it shine.
Everywhere that I go, baby, I'mgonna let it shine, let it
(28:17):
shine, let it shine, let itshine, let it shine.
Yes, one more time, this littlelight of mine, I'm gonna let it
(28:38):
shine.
This little light of mine, I'mgonna let it shine, let it shine
, let it shine, let it shine.
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