May 14, 2025 • 52 mins
Have you ever wondered if our hyper-connected world is actually making us more disconnected from what truly matters? In this profoundly human conversation, host Dom L'Amour sits down with musician Jacob Zengerling to explore the spaces between digital noise and genuine human connection.
The pair navigate through deceptively simple questions with far-reaching implications: Why do we cling to arbitrary New Year's resolutions when ancient civilizations followed natural cycles? How have corporations created endless consumption loops that benefit few while harming many? And most importantly, how might focusing on our personal growth create ripple effects that transform communities?
"The more that we can get our own personal selves to a life that we want, we set that example for the world," Jacob reflects, offering a perspective that shifts responsibility from external systems to internal development. This becomes the conversation's throughline as they examine everything from minimum wage stagnation to the beauty of locally-sourced economies they've witnessed abroad.
What emerges is a thoughtful examination of modern living that doesn't shy away from difficult truths. Dom and Jacob acknowledge the challenges of navigating social interactions, misreading signals, and responding to negativity with compassion rather than confrontation. "Hurt people hurt people," Jacob notes, suggesting our response to hostility might best be understanding rather than escalation.
The conversation takes unexpected turns into practical wisdom, from Jacob's fascinating discovery of traditional incense ceremonies that profoundly regulate the nervous system to Dom's reflections on finding musical community. Their exchange culminates in Jacob's powerful affirmation that "we are safe and supported in more ways than we could possibly understand" – a perspective that offers comfort in uncertain times.
Whether you're questioning your relationship with consumer culture, seeking deeper connections, or simply looking for permission to prioritize self-work, this episode provides both comforting validation and gentle challenges to conventional thinking. Listen now and join the conversation about creating meaning in a distracted world.
Opening quote by Jim Rohn
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol.1 and Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
Featured song is "Baby You" From the album "Sweet Dreams" by Dom L'Amour Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @doml_amour on Instagram. Or at
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
These are more important, these one-on-one
conversations, because I'm sureyou know by now that social
media is just an echo chamber.
You can spread out as manyopinions as you want, but you're
going to be subdued by everyoneelse's opinions and everything
else that's going on, all theads and all the reels and
everything.
So it's just like no, I thinkthe most important thing is just
keep doing.
What we're doing is havingthese human-to-human moments,
(00:20):
having these conversations andalso, just, most importantly,
working on ourselves.
Moments having theseconversations and also, just,
most importantly, working onourselves, because the more that
we can get our own personalselves to a life that we want,
we set that example for theworld to go you can do this too.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here.
My name is Dom L'Amour and youare listening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast.
On today's episode, I speakwith my guy, jacob Zingerling,
about moving into the new year,self-work, the state of our
society and so much more.
Life in business is like thechanging seasons.
You cannot change the seasons,but you can change yourself.
(01:10):
Therein lies the opportunity tolive an extraordinary life, the
opportunity to change yourself.
The year has already startedoff, I think, fantastic.
Last year was another one ofthose years where I felt very
positive about the beginning ofit, but by the end this is the
weirdest thing how you can feela certain way just because it's
(01:31):
the end of the year and then thenext year it's like a whole
different feeling For you.
Do you even approach New Year'swith any special juice or
anything?
Because I've been trying toavoid making it a big deal.
I just want to continue themission that I'm on the year
before into the next.
How are you approaching that?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I feel like it is kind of in the programming to
just when the new year's comes,you automatically kind of have
like resolutions and goals andstuff that you want to work
towards, but they're reallynothing new from anything I've
been working on the past coupleof years, like I mean, my
intentions for this year was totravel and play music outside of
St Louis, more, yeah, andthat's exactly how I started the
(02:13):
year off.
So I guess it's going good youknow.
But then if you get into the,you know, if you get into, like,
the spiritual community, lotsof people are like the new year
it doesn't really start injanuary, it actually starts
during the uh, spring equinox, Ibelieve.
Okay, and so.
So then there's all thesetheories too about, like you
know, the reason why your newyear's resolutions don't work is
because you don't even.
(02:33):
You only start them at the, thebeginning of the real new year.
You know, this is the, the fakenew year some people would call
it.
You know that's realinteresting.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
why would you?
I would love to know more aboutthat.
Do you, do you have any moreinformation on why?
That is the idea like of whereit, where it starts?
Because I've I've heard so manythings about you know the stars
, alignment and ancientcivilizations using astrology
and different things to move theworld forward like they did,
(03:02):
and then we kind of just gotaway from it.
And I feel like that ishappening not only commercial
things like New Year's Eve, butalso like in general, like I was
reading a book, bradenSweetgrass, last year and she
was talking about the connectionthat they had with the
vegetables, where they wouldgrow some vegetables but they
would leave some vegetables sothat the animals can get it but
(03:24):
also so that they can replantthe next year.
And they always felt like ifyou take too much, it ruins
nature.
But for sure you see Americansoverdoing everything constantly
for profit and it eliminates thewhole spiritual nature element
of it.
I'm just curious on why theywould say one place is where it
really starts and what about?
(03:45):
That area changes everythingfor New Year's today.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh man, you know, it's like, I feel like we could
get into it and it'll start tosound conspiratorial, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, that's usually how it happens.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I don't know enough about it really to speak on too
much other than just like whatI've heard from certain things.
And it seems, like you know, wehave the winter solstice, the
spring equinox, the autumnequinox seem to be points in
time and nature where thingsactually do change, like days
start to get shorter, days startto get longer at certain points
in time, and so it would appearthat if you were actually going
(04:19):
with, like, the rhythm ofnature, then it would make more
sense to start cycles on theequinoxes or the solstices
instead of, like, I mean,january 1st.
There's really nothing going onLike from a from a nature point
of view other than we've justdecided.
January 1st is the beginning ofthe year, you know, but that is
something that comes about frommy understanding of like
(04:41):
ancient I believe that was likeancient Greek or ancient Roman
culture.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
More likely one of those two, because that's
usually where most of our normsstarted.
There are, you know, Egyptians,of course, but like the people
who tell the story, the ones whokind of kept guiding us in the
direction that we ended up in.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, so somehow we got onto the 12 months and this
is something that was kind of,from my understanding, brought
about from the mayan calendar,that we used to live in a 13
month moon cycle, and thensupposedly the greeks or the
romans, whichever got rid of the13th moon for some reason.
I don't know.
I imagine it has something todo with control.
(05:20):
And then, yeah, now we findourselves in this 12 month cycle
.
You know when in the historythere used to be a time when it
was 13 months in a year?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yeah, I feel like that's something that I mean in
the history.
There used to be a bunch ofbooks in the Bible that never
are mentioned.
Now they act like it was just.
This is exactly how it'ssupposed to be, but there was so
much extra information and somany other people who felt like
they had a word to say in thatsituation.
I always quote Hamilton, whereyou know history has its eyes on
(05:52):
you in a sense of like who willtell your story?
I always took that away fromthat play because it's very,
very interesting to think aboutwhere our life is and how it
will be told, if we pass away orif someone finds my journal a
thousand years from now, howthey would look at me as a
(06:16):
person of significance or notsignificant.
How will they talk about meafter I'm gone?
And when it comes to the thingsthat we hold near and dear,
someone with power at one pointwas like you know what?
I don't think we need all ofthese books in the Bible.
I don't think we need 13 months.
I think we should change thetime an hour back at this time
(06:38):
of the year just because and wedo that and we don't really ask
too many questions on why.
No, we're too busy beingentertained to ask questions.
Indeed indeed.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Being entertained and buying stuff.
To piggyback off your earlierpoint about we're getting to
this point where we're buying somuch, netflix just released a
really interesting documentarycalled Buy Now.
It's about this concept of likethe cycles of corporations just
constantly making stuff andmaking stuff and no one makes
anything to last anymore.
You know, you think about.
(07:11):
It used to take like what?
Like a year or two before thenew iPhone came out.
Now what are we getting?
Like two iPhones a year all ofa sudden.
Now you know it's just like it'sspeeding up more and more.
And so this documentary isreally eye-opening because it's
showing on a physical scale likehere's a city and here's how
much stuff is being produced.
It is literally taking the cityover and that's how much trash
(07:33):
these corporations are making.
And it's very interestingbecause I think we're getting to
a point where we have to startholding these corporations
accountable, because thecorporate way it doesn't seem to
make any sense.
There's no end point, like Imean, I remember having a
conversation with one of my oldbosses back when I was kind of
working in the corporate fieldand environments and stuff, and
(07:55):
he was kind of telling me thiswhole thing and he's like you
know, imagine, like yourbusiness makes $5 million this
year, so in order for you to bea successful business next year,
you have to make $6 million.
If you just make $5 million thenext year, in the corporate
eyes you're not a successfulbusiness anymore.
But to me that's freakingabsurd because it's like how
much money do you need whenthere's people that are walking
(08:17):
around?
I've heard some people be like,well, I have $7 million, I
don't know what to do with.
And it's like why do you stillneed more money, then why are
you operating this business tobe like?
Well, we need to make moremoney and more money, and more
money, and produce more thingsto make more money.
And it's just like the snakeeating its own tail it never
just seems to never end.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And the funny thing about that is when you talk to
someone with that much money, Imean it's kind of like the old
the song more money, moreproblems where it's like people
pretend like you don'tunderstand how hard it is to
have this much money, how muchother stuff I have to pay for
because I have this much money.
And it's like I hear that andI'm like if I had a thousand
(08:59):
dollars today, you know what I'msaying that would be a
significant difference in what Ido and how much I save and this
and that.
And people create this illusionthat they aren't really holding
on to this money.
That's why they need more money, but really their own money,
without touching the money.
That's what they're doing,that's what they're constantly
(09:28):
doing, and they try to put thisillusion out that they are
making more money because theydon't have the money that you
think they have.
You see that they made this muchmoney or they're worth this
much money, but that money isn'tliquid.
It's this I got to do, that, Igot to do this.
It's like we see things rightin our face and we continue to
(09:49):
let it happen and it makes usjust really feel like we have no
power whatsoever.
And you see little moments likethe guy who murdered the CEO
and people rally around him andeveryone's like why would they
rally around someone so terrible?
But then we turn around andtalk about just how difficult
(10:13):
life is.
These insurance companies aretaking so much money from us.
How are you not seeing thenegative stuff that's happening
on that side as well?
No one should be murdered, butno one should be surprised why
that person was murdered.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's safe to say we're
coming to a boiling point as asociety.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
The way that we've been living up until this point.
We're clearly starting to seeon so many levels it's not
working.
You know, I mean you look atthe environment, you look at the
economical landscape, just lookat your friends, you know that
are like grinding day in and dayout just so they can have a
roof over their head and eatsome food.
You know, and it's like, yeah,I have seen the more money, more
(10:53):
problems thing.
I've watched people go frombeing poor to making lots of
money and their face physicallychanges like they do.
But it's really I think it's a'sa twofold thing too, because
also more money, more comfort,and that's why they don't want
to get rid of that money.
You know, because it's, it'sjust another trap you fall into.
You make more money, you buymore stuff.
You buy more stuff.
(11:14):
You need to make more money tomaintain more stuff.
You know yachts are expensiveyeah, they are and they and it
costs to maintain them.
You know and imagine, once youget on a yacht it's probably
hard to be like I'll just neverbe on a yacht again after that.
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
It's like I don't want to take a cruise line.
Now I know how to get on ayacht.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Right, I'm guilty of that stuff.
Being a musician, I getbackstage treatment and all that
kind of stuff.
It's hard to go to anotherconcert and be like damn, I'm,
you know, I don't know where's,I don't get no free food or like
whatever.
So, like I can speak from myown point, like I'm not.
I'm not rich in the sense of Ihave a lot of money, but I think
, like being a musician, I'mrich in a different sense of
(11:56):
like I do get other experiencesthat are comforting and nice,
you know, and it and I, you know, once you reach a certain level
of comfort, it's really hard togo backwards from that level,
you know, and that's just maybea human thing.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I imagine it's a human thing, but the idea that
there's so much unsaidinformation when it comes to our
society.
When it comes to our society,something that I feel like I've
been screaming every time I geta chance to is the idea that
minimum wage has been the samefor so long but the inflation
has gone up.
So we're being expected to domore work and get extra jobs,
(12:38):
but they aren't willing to payus more and they're saying you
don't deserve more, but theydeserve more profit.
That's the craziest part.
It's like how is it constantlyokay, another year of inflation
and everyone complaining aboutinflation, complaining about
grocery prices, complainingabout gas, complaining about
everything is too high, but wecan't get a minimum wage, of all
(13:02):
things up, and it's like, well,those people don't deserve it.
Almost.
You know, I have family membersI have to listen to when I go
home who try to tell me why dopeople who make my coffee need
$15?
And I'm looking at them likeyou used to work in service
industry, you used to be inthose rooms and in some ways you
could say, well, they knowwhat's going on in the inside
(13:24):
and it's like, no, no personshould go to work every day in
this country and have to getanother job because that one job
won't pay them enough to live.
Yeah, no one should have to dothat oh yeah especially if
they're working 40 hours a week.
no corporation should be able topurposefully keep you at 39 and
(13:48):
a half hours and then make youleave so they won't have to pay
you a full salary or a fullprice.
They shouldn't be able to dothat, but they do it all the
time and people have to justtake it on the chin because we
don't have the money or thepower to even compete with these
corporations.
How is it that we consistentlyfind moments in our society that
(14:11):
we know are bullshit?
We know insurance is fuckingbullshit.
We know that it's soinfuriating how you pay all this
money every month to feel moresafe, but then, when something
happens, they try to find everyreason not to help you.
Why am I paying you?
Why is that not something thatwe've changed?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, the great scam.
Well, you know, I mean, you'reright.
You're right on the one.
Maybe we don't have the money,but we do have the power, you
know, because these corporationswouldn't work if we stopped
participating.
The thing is is we keepparticipating and I know it's a
tough thing because we do getthe money.
But you know, it's somethingI've thought about a lot and I
(14:53):
don't have an answer yet.
Otherwise I probably would beoff, you know, in the middle of
nowhere with a group of peoplelike Living Life, you know, in
some other kind of way.
But there is this we vote everyday with where we spend our
money and what corporations wegive our money to because we
keep them going.
They make money because wespend money.
Their corporations are aliveand well because we're working
(15:15):
for them and we're making sureeverything goes.
I imagine if everyone quitAmazon, jeff Bezos probably
wouldn't be able to keep thatshit going.
There's no way he's going to beable to take all the orders,
fill all the orders, drive allthe orders to everyone's door
and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
See, that's not the conflict, though.
If everyone walked out ofAmazon tomorrow, there would be
thousands of people willing togo into that position.
Yeah, and take that money, andmaybe take less than the person
who was already there, becausethey're desperate for
opportunity and hopefully, whenyou hear a name like Amazon in
(15:52):
the top position is opened upand you are qualified for it,
you're going to shut up foranything and make that money.
He doesn't have to.
He's so rich and successful.
If everyone left and it wasbecause he was a racist, he
still would find people that hecould get in there to do all of
(16:12):
that stuff for him andmanipulate, and he'll be just
sitting where he is sittingpretty Not worried, because I
hear you saying I mean, it's thesame thing with musicians, and
why some music economies justdon't do well is because there's
always, always someone willingto undercut you.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
So then we have to figure out a way to make it to
where you know what would be thething that you could do to make
someone not want to go and work, like, no matter what the money
, no matter what the cost, andso, yeah, I don't know.
I'm sure this is somethingbigger minds are working on.
This stuff is definitely overmy head, because you're talking
about restructuring society in awhole.
You know, I mean, it seems like, in a way, we probably have to
(16:52):
move away from capitalism, butthere's no easy way to do that,
because that's what it is.
I mean, the reason people areclocking in this job is because
they're making money, and themoney is what affords them their
lifestyle.
But if you didn't need to makemoney in order to have a good
lifestyle, you probably wouldn'tgo work at Amazon.
So it is coming to somethingthat I think we're all moving
(17:16):
towards as a society is a newway of living, a new way of
being human and a new way ofbeing with your community.
And what does that mean?
Because people are getting fedup.
I talk to them every day.
I'm sure you talk to them too.
We see it, we see it all.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I feel like, in a way , though, when I hear that, it's
hard to believe.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Like cause.
Yes, there is a lot of peopletalking, but there's a lot of
more opportunity for you here tohear these people talk.
Back in the day, you justwatched the news and that was
usually the only person youcould hear complain on the news
that one day you couldn't hearrandom people that live in your
city.
You didn't know how the peoplein your city because you
couldn't see their faces pop upon Snapchat that they live near
(18:03):
you or Instagram.
The fact that we have so manyplatforms with so many people
makes it so easy for us to hearthe complainers, but there's a
lot more people quiet than thereare that are talking.
I'm one of them.
I don't get online and air outanything other than with the
podcast.
I come on here and do this, butI'm not on Instagram telling
(18:25):
them what's really going on inmy life.
I'm not on Facebook tellingthem.
I don't even get on X.
I don't have a Snapchat anymore.
I don't do any of that stuffanymore.
So I'm constantly talking to myfriends having these
conversations on the pod or onthe phone and I'm not pushing it
out there.
But you like hear what you said.
(18:46):
I feel the way that you do.
There's at least a million morepeople that feel the opposite
of what we feel, that aren'tsaying anything about that, that
we don't hear about, that wewill never hear about.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, I mean, I agree with you.
I don't air out my opinions andstuff on any of the social
media either.
I just use that to say, hey, ifyou want to see me play music
here, it is, here's me playingmusic.
If you want to see me in personplaying music, here's my events
.
But no, I'm never going to putmy opinions on.
I think these are more important, these one-on-one conversations
, because I'm sure you know bynow that social media is just an
(19:20):
echo chamber.
You can put out as manyopinions as you want, but you're
going to be subdued by everyoneelse's opinions and everything
else that's going on all the adsand all the reels and
everything.
So it's just like.
No, I think the most importantthing is just keep doing.
What we're doing is havingthese human to human moments,
having these conversations andalso, just most importantly,
working on ourselves, becausethe more that we can get our own
(19:42):
personal selves to a life thatwe want, we set that example for
the world to go.
You can do this too.
I think that's kind of one ofthe most important things and
it's been a focus of mine for awhile now is just like I can
only control so much of my outerscope, you know, and it's like,
and I could spend all my timeand all my energy thinking about
(20:03):
all that stuff.
But what would happen if I justwent within more and figured
out how to boost myself up to mybest ability?
Then what kind of energy couldI bring to my community then,
when I finally have the energyand the resources to take care
of myself as well as take careof other people?
But I've been noticing it moreon my own front is it's like,
(20:25):
the more I work on myself, themore I see the world change
around me, and so it does feelalmost like we are living in the
possibility of two differentworlds right now.
There's the one world where thetechs take over and we just work
these jobs and are in controlour whole lives and own nothing
(20:48):
and be happy, type of thing.
Or there's this other realitywhere we build ourselves up, we
build up our neighbors, we buildup our community and we stop
feeding the corporations and westart living basic lives again
with the earth and with nature,and I think we're starting to
(21:08):
see these like two realitiesunfold, and no reality is really
better than the other.
It's just what suits you andwhat makes you happy, cause
that's, at the end of the day, Iguess, what it's about.
You know it's.
It's our experience.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Something that popped in my head when you were saying
that there's this TV show basedon a video game.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Oh, with the zombies and the-.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pedro Pascal.
And there's a moment when he'stalking to his brother and
they're in this compound andthey're describing the life that
they're living there, whereeverything is equal and everyone
takes an equal share andeveryone has a job and they
communicate and they livepeacefully in this community
(21:52):
doing these things.
And one of the characters islike oh, so it's kind of like
communism.
And one of the people who livedthere was like absolutely not.
No, we're not commies, what doyou mean?
He was like that's whatcommunism is.
You mean he was like that'swhat communism is and he like
has this realization?
Like oh, my, oh, my god, wow,something that makes my life so
(22:14):
easy, something that makes itseem normal during all of these
zombie things, is living thisway.
Yet I had this negativementality about it because of
the propaganda that I was fedwhen I was living another way,
and it's like wow, those are thethings that a lot of people
would really want.
I don't think there's a lot ofpeople out there who would be
(22:36):
opposed to living in a societywhere people look out for each
other and actually are willingto pay everyone.
You all get paid the same, weall going to make the same
amount of money.
I'm the boss and I'm going tomake the same amount of money as
you, two kind of thing.
Now, just for people listeningto this, I don't support any of
(22:58):
those parties or stuff like that.
I'm not a communist at all.
I don't do any of that mess andI feel like I have to say this
now because I very much didstart talking like I was about
to try to make it sound like I'mall about that.
But I do see, especially when Itravel, the way societies
working together can be nicer ifit wasn't based on the highest
(23:22):
bidder or monopolies taking overone specific thing.
You know we deal with that inAmerica all the time and the
government finds ways to try tostop it.
Like with Albertsons and Krogertrying to merge.
It's crazy to think that a momand pop grocery store will have
to shut down because a Walmartmoves into that town.
(23:43):
Why do you need a family-ownedbusiness?
Why do you need farmers familyowned business?
Why do you need farmers sellingvegetables directly to you and
you can go to Walmart and getstuff from Mexico and get stuff
from other places that you nevercould imagine and when you go
somewhere like Ireland, like weonly ate vegetables that were
grown either on the island orthat came like from Spain.
(24:05):
But it didn't come from far.
It was, it was from them.
They made it the eggs that wefrom Spain.
But it didn't come from far, itwas from them.
They made it the eggs that weate at.
I remember we was in thisrestaurant.
The egg guy came in anddelivered the eggs for that day
and I remember seeing him bringthem in and be like I wonder
what that situation is.
And the server came over andwas like oh yeah, these eggs
(24:26):
that you're eating today comesfrom a farm that's at least a
mile away from here and we getall of our vegetables fresh
vegetables, unless we have toget some imported.
But we mostly stay here on theisland and don't invest in
anything other than our ownpeople's economy.
Think about that.
Think about living in acommunity like you live in
(24:46):
Maplewood and in Maplewood,everyone in Maplewood only
bought stuff in Maplewood andpurchased food that was grown
outside or through Maplewood.
And you need your jacket fixedup?
You only get it fixed inMaplewood.
You need shoes you buy it fromthe person who makes shoes in
Maplewood.
It's all specifically this onearea working together to create
(25:10):
an environment where they canlook out for each other, support
each other and the economy isbased on them working with each
other instead of random peoplebuying stuff on Amazon.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the kind of shit thatI'm like.
We used to be like that in ways, but I feel like corporations
found the key and there'snothing we really can do to
(25:32):
change back to that.
Unless you do it within yourown little community, you know,
like if you have your owncompound of people and y'all
make a vow to do it, that's.
That's the only way it reallyworks like that in this world
now in America, you got a point.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
You know we were sold convenience and we fucking love
convenience.
I think it's at a point where,like, like you said, it's it's
up to you to to make it in yourcommunity Cause, like I mean,
just where I live right now,there's like two community
gardens just right around me,you know, and so that's like
there's people right there thatare growing their food, giving
(26:08):
it out to unhoused people andgiving it to the community, and
the community comes, people comefrom the neighborhood and help
work on those gardens and stufflike that.
Yeah, and I think it's one ofthose things where it could seem
like it could never go back tothat way, but I think it's one
of those things where it kind ofhas to go back to that way, at
least for some people.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I'll change what I say.
I don't think it's impossible.
The thing I don't want to sayis that I think the only way
it'll happen is somethinghorrible would have to happen.
We would have to have some typeof disaster, something like
COVID.
You saw what happened withCOVID.
That's level of threat orchange in our life would have to
(26:52):
happen for people to wise up.
And even in that scenario, wesaw people really either go even
darker than they are now, findways to try to rebel against
what was going on around us,like we saw the negativity bleed
into that as well, and it wasso difficult.
It was very difficult dealingwith people during COVID.
I feel like, when it comes toeverything, you go to the
(27:14):
grocery store and the people whodon't care, who aren't wearing
the mask and they're justbreathing in face, or you know
the people who do care too muchand they're not willing to even
engage with you whatsoever, eventhough you're doing the right
things too.
It just I feel like, no matterwhat, we're always going to have
conflict like that, butsomething big would have to
(27:35):
happen for us to actually get usin a place like that and it'd
be working out, and then somepropaganda, some misinformation
would find its way back into oursociety and allow it to flip
back to where it was.
I feel like it's just aconstant clock going around in a
(27:57):
circle and the circle is alwaysgoing to keep happening and
that clock ain't stopping it.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah, I mean, I think you're right, it's cycles.
We've seen it in history.
There's always been points ofperiods where things have been
peaceful, things have beenbooming, life has never been
better, and then a plague hitsand then that happens, but that
was a catalyst for somethingeven better to happen.
So it's kind of like thatuniversal law of opposition.
We wouldn't know one withoutthe other and things always have
(28:24):
to keep moving.
And in that movement, just likea roller coaster or a wave, you
know, there's peaks and there'svalleys.
And I agree, I don't think thatit would ever just always be
good, as well as it's neveralways just going to be bad.
And it seems like there'susually always points in parts
of earth where, like, this partof earth is going great while
(28:48):
this part of earth is not.
So it's almost like, in a weirdway, it is kind of like a
balance.
There's like this old twilightzone episode where, like, this
guy dies and he, he goes toheaven, right, and his version
of heaven is like a casino wherehe, he gets free food, he gets
free drinks, he wins all themoney, all the women go home
with him every night freakinggreat he great, he loves it,
(29:08):
right.
He's just having the time of hislife.
He's like, oh my God, this isso great, right.
And then flash forward to someamount of time who knows, could
have been months, could havebeen years.
You come to the guy and he'slike, slumped over the slot
machine and one of thewaitresses comes over.
He's like I win everything, Iget all the free food.
No one ever tells me no.
Like I'm bored.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I wish I would.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I wish I would lose one time.
You know, I wish someone wouldactually just like reject me.
I wish that they would make mepay, for much medicine can turn
to poison, you know.
And so it is about that balanceand I think that's just kind of
(29:51):
for earth.
What it what it is about isabout learning.
You know.
It's about growth andexperience, and you can't have
growth and experience without alittle friction, without a
little conflict, without alittle chaos.
You know it's I hate to say it,but it is, it's somewhat
necessary for experience and forgrowth I agree.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Uh, let's go ahead and switch it up.
I feel like we've, we went onto that and that was great, but
it's like, oh man, I all right.
Great example rick and morty.
You know the tv TV show.
I remember I binge watched thatfor a week or so and after,
(30:33):
like I said, having so much ofit, so constantly enjoying it, I
started to really like there'sno God and there's none of that.
I'm just, I'm too smart tosettle for any of that stuff.
It doesn't matter.
And so you start to hear thatand you start to laugh and you
(30:57):
hear it over and over and over.
Then you get to a place whereyou're like nothing really
matters, none of this is goingto like.
It's heartbreaking when I feelthat way.
It's heartbreaking when I thinkthat way because I'm such a I
(31:18):
want positive energy kind ofperson, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I want to believe that people are good and people
want to be good.
I want to believe that asociety truly wants the best for
everyone.
But then you know, the thingsthat I can't even imagine in my
own life that I would do happensconstantly.
(31:42):
Things that I can't evenimagine in my own life that I
would do happens constantly.
And you look at the peoplearound you and you're like why
is this happening?
Why do you want this to happen?
Why do we have to have thisnegativity?
Why do we have to have this meagainst you attitude about
everything?
And it's consistent Everyone isconstantly trying to find
(32:06):
different ways to underminesomeone else, when clearly, all
they need to do is just work onthem.
I don't have to care what you'redoing with your life.
All I have to know is are yougood?
You good?
Great.
I'm good, too, because I'vebeen working on me.
What have you been doing towork on yourself?
This Great.
I'm good, too, because I'vebeen working on me.
What have you been doing towork on yourself?
This, this, this, that Great.
I've been working on this, this, that, that, not saying what
(32:27):
have you been doing?
Oh well, I wish I was doingthat.
No, it's not about comparing.
It's not about trying to bethat person or trying to be
(32:50):
better morals and the thingsthat I see as right and wrong
versus other people.
It really makes a lot of thingsdifficult for me because some
of this stuff is no-brainer tome.
But then I'm like am I wrongfor feeling like I know exactly
what I would do in the scenario,but this person did something
(33:12):
completely opposite?
And it's a constant struggle toall right, nope, no comparison.
You can't compare yourselfanymore.
This isn't about that.
What?
are you doing for you and keepit moving.
We live in a very weird timefor someone else on an
(33:42):
individual level.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
there's no way we could ever possibly know what's
right or what's wrong forsomeone Like how many times do
you get something that you'vewanted in your life?
You're like, if I could justget that, then everything will
be great.
You know, I know, it'll be great, you know.
And then you get that thing andafter a while having it, you
realize like dang, this didn'tfix anything.
Or like now I want this thingright.
And then think about how manymoments you've had in your life
where something happened to youthat you didn't want to happen
(34:04):
to you.
But when you really look backon that thing that you didn't
want to happen to you, you lookat everything that happened
after that and you're thankfulbecause you're like if that
negative thing didn't happen tome, happen then, like I wouldn't
be here now.
Yeah, you know, and so I think,especially when it comes to
things happening here on earth,there are just like there's a
(34:26):
bigger picture.
There's things that I don'tthink we can comprehend with our
human brain about what's reallygoing on here, and so it can be
so easy from our human minds tobe like, well, I would have
never, you know, drank thatpoison.
Like that's just crazy.
You're poisoning yourselfyourself, like why would you do
that?
But for someone else, maybepart of their experience is they
(34:46):
need to get poisoned.
Yeah, you know, they need toknow what that feels like.
They need to have thatexperience and something is
going to come to the other sideof that, even if it kills them,
like there's something aboutthat, you know, as was it?
Einstein said, matter canneither be created nor destroyed
, right?
So then, if you drink poisonand you die, some people could
look at that as it's a bad thing.
(35:07):
But maybe in a universalsetting, like that's some other
part of like growth orexperience that needs to happen
for whatever reason.
I can't explain because I can'tcomprehend this stuff, but I
think it can get dangerous whenwe start to be the person that
goes.
This crowd of people shouldn'tbe doing that, because that's
wrong, because that's wrong towho?
(35:27):
That's wrong to you.
But who are we to know what'swrong?
Who are we to be the judges ofwhat's wrong or right in this
world when we can't evencomprehend the full scale of
what's really going on here?
Yeah that's just hard, yeah, man, being a human's tricky dude.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah, that's so hard because you put yourself in this
.
I forget where I saw this, butthey say silence is just as bad
as saying something wrong Ifyou're not defending people in
certain scenarios and you'rejust quiet like in racism.
If someone's being racist inyour family and you just sit
there and let them be racist,it's like you're part of the
(36:04):
problem because you're silent.
But in that same sense, likeyou said, there's a lot of
things that we can't control inthe world.
We are just trying to make itto the next day.
So sometimes you kind of got totake the lessons on the chin.
Learn from them, say what youwant to say sometimes, but even
then maybe saying somethingisn't even necessary, because
(36:26):
what good is going to come ofyou saying what's right in that
scenario?
How can you truly be the personto speak on this when you can't
comprehend exactly what's goingon?
You just have feelings.
I feel like I had somethingrecently happen that way to me
where I was really nervous abouthow people were going to be in
a certain situation, when theywere exactly how I thought they
(36:47):
were going to be, and I reallysucked and all I wanted to do
was scream and shake thesepeople.
I wanted to just be like whyare you like this?
Why is this the way that youdecided to do this?
And the more I've been able tosit down and meditate and have
some time in my space alone.
You know, being able to go onmy walks and do my stretches and
(37:08):
breathing exercises and reallyfind my zen.
Helping me find my zen hashelped me look at that moment.
And hearing you say thisactually, too, helped me look at
those moments in that scenariowhere I'm like I want to just
say something horrible, but Ididn't say anything.
Because I read a book last yearand one of the big things was
sometimes what needs to be saiddoesn't have to be said.
Sometimes you just have to bequiet.
(37:30):
So before you speak, think,think about what good is going
to come from what you're goingto say.
In that scenario I was so upsetbut I was like if I say what
I'm feeling, it's just going tocome back on me.
I'm the negative one, I'malways this, I'm always that.
So what happens when you justdon't do that?
Everyone walks away from this,happy with you, but you're
(37:51):
working on yourself and now Ican look back on that and be
like I mean it was a good thingI didn't say anything because
I'm able to work through thismyself, with my wife, with the
people that surround me andlearn from it for the future.
If I'm in the scenario againhow to properly maybe handle it,
because in the next scenario,if it happens, I'll be able to
say the things that I wasn'table to say then because I
(38:13):
thought about it, you know.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Yeah, and there's always that chance of you could
have the perfect words to say inany, in any moment you know,
but it's up to the other partyif they want to hear that or not
yeah you know as well, and soit always does become such a
tricky thing when it comes tothat stuff.
I had a moment the other day.
I was at this jam out innashville.
I had this big epiphany aboutthe concept of like you ever
(38:37):
heard the term someone's vibingyou yeah and like, but it's in a
negative way, right I don'tknow the negative.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Yes, this is.
This is something I've beenI've been hearing a little bit
more about.
So if you're vibing withsomeone, that's good.
If the party's a vibe, that'sgood yeah but I've heard now
there's people that are kind ofusing the lingo like if
someone's vibing you, it's likea negative scenario.
It's like they're like, oh youknow, he ain't nothing, like get
him out of here, kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
So, like, I had a couple of these experiences at
the jam, where I thought someonewas vibing me, you know, and I
sat with it in my head because Iwas like man, did that really
just happen the way I think Idid?
You know, like, did they reallyjust like treat me like that,
or am I kind of just like makingthis up and eventually I kind
(39:25):
of like instead of like going?
Because it's so interesting howmy mind usually wants to
immediately assume the negativething.
You know, like someone isvibing me or you know starting
something or whatever.
But like, I sat with that alittle bit and was like what if
it's not that way?
You know what if maybe what'sgoing on is like I have my own
(39:48):
social awkwardness and I have myown social anxiety and my own
insecurities and those arecoming together with the other
person's social awkwardness,anxiety, insecurities, and that
comes off to me as like othervibe in me, but really it's just
like two socially awkwardpeople getting together, you
know kind of thing.
Because, like, eventually, likeI talked with them again later
(40:10):
on in the night and the wholescenario was different.
It was like they're happy,they're like oh man, you sounded
great, like this and that andall this stuff, and I was like
oh that's so interesting, youknow, and so it makes me wonder.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
So interesting, you know, and so it makes me wonder,
like, how often people thinkthat someone's in our society
because we have so muchinformation.
It's like when you think you'resick and you go online and try
to figure out what is havingthis symptom mean and the next
thing you know you're on a downspiral because you think you
have cancer.
Now it's the too muchinformation, too many cues from
(40:58):
society.
You're watching a girl onInstagram and she says if a guy
says this to you, that meansthis.
So then a guy says that andyou're like, oh my God, they
feel this way about me.
But that girl has no idea whatthe fuck she's talking about.
And so you see all of thisinformation thrown in your way,
you hear all of these thingssaid to you about these things
that you think that you'refamiliar with, and then, boom,
(41:22):
you have this negative momentlike that.
I truly think it's just toomuch information.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
It's so wild how that stuff works, you know, and we
can go to the extreme too, Like,let's say that you know for a
fact that that person is vibingyou.
You know they're being mean toyou, they don't like you, you
know.
So I think about that now too,because what, what's?
There's that old saying thathurt people, hurt people.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, and so I don't know.
I had an epiphany about this along time ago when, like,
someone was yelling at me and itwas just like something just
clicked in my head and I waslike, oh, this has nothing to do
with me.
Yeah, actually this haseverything to do with them, and
then it allowed me to kind ofsink into a place of like.
I want to say like compassionfor them, because it wasn't like
(42:05):
I feel like empathy is when Ikind of like dropped down to
their level to like resonatewith them, whereas compassion is
I can be where I'm at and I cansee them where they're at and
be like hey, I feel for you.
You know, like I can tell thatyou're really going through some
hard stuff right now becauseyou're lashing out at me and
it's very unreasonable, you know, to my eyes, but to you it's
(42:26):
totally rational, you know.
And so it's just like I feelfor those people that walk
around.
They're angry, you know,they're spreading hate.
They're spreading all thisbecause you got to think about
the life that they're living.
Clearly it's not a good life.
People that are living a goodlife do not walk around
spreading hate.
I think about things from thataspect as well.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
The idea of simple-minded people talk about
people but then strong-mindedpeople talk about ideas and talk
about things that they want towork on, goals or things that
they look forward to.
I agree, I think that's kind ofthe same thing.
You see, these people who havenothing better to do to say the
wildest shit about people for areaction, and it affects people
(43:05):
a lot.
Yeah, we consistently findourselves in positions where, I
don't know, we're secondguessing ourselves because we
saw this or we heard this.
It's hard to get out of thatdark place.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Because the other people that you speak to might
not give you the rightinformation either.
No one really has the answers.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, no, it's a tough thing because there's also
what's true for me might not betrue for you.
I mean, shoot, we havedifferent blood types.
So it's like, maybe eating meatis great for me, but if I go on
a vegetarian diet I'll die,whereas, like someone else,
eating meat will like give themproblems and being on a
vegetarian diet will be greatfor them.
(43:50):
So, like then you can clearlysee, there's no one way for any
of us, you know, and it's justabout that's why it becomes ever
again so important for us tofigure out who we are you we are
and what works for us, and themore that we can ground down
into who we are, the more we canspread our gifts to the world.
(44:10):
And then what would that worldbe like?
Everyone could learn how tojust regulate their nervous
systems and have some time, beable to take some time for
themselves to not be on thereels or distracted with
anything.
You know, like meditate alittle bit, you know, even just
for five minutes a day, just tolike hear your thoughts and
clear your thoughts and knowthat you're not your thoughts.
(44:32):
You know, and and just likewhat would?
I'm like a child leaving school.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
I want you to wrap me with the gold, just for you.
My only goal is to love you,but more is there to choose.
I choose you, I choose you.
Baby, you, I choose you, baby,baby.
You are the girl of my dreams,baby, you have a smile that just
(45:13):
wings, and every time I see agirl I feel it on my knees.
Darling, I hold you, squeezeyou, tease you.
Girl, why don't we slow it down?
It's you and I.
We're high as the moon now, andour starlit skies.
(45:38):
I've never loved so, so deep,from your head down to your feet
.
Oh girl, I love you, love you.
I love you Cause, baby, you Arethe girl of my dreams.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
This is a throwback to when I used to live back in
St Louis, Right before I movedto LA.
This is me at Jacob's house.
Actually, we were doing a demofor my first album.
This tune is Baby you.
You can actually listen to iton my album Sweet Dreams.
It always makes me smilelistening back on these.
So I hope you enjoy the littlesnippet and if you want to
(46:20):
listen to any of my other musicor check me out for more
information, just go toDomLamorecom.
You can check out my music onall streaming platforms and
support the brother man.
I'm trying to do things big here.
I hope you're enjoying the show.
You know what I love.
(46:40):
I love the band that I'm in.
I'm in this wedding band calledBig Bling and the Funk Machine
and we gig so much and it's beenreally, really fulfilling doing
this stuff.
Tonight my bass player anddrummer they have their own band
that they work with.
It's like a metal band and soI'm going to go see their
concert tonight and it's justone of those things that I'm
(47:03):
very thankful.
I lived in LA and Chicago andback home in St Louis and I met
so many musicians and I havegreat relationships with you.
I have great relationships withgreat musicians, and to be able
to continue to meet people andbuild relationships, that's a
blessing.
It's really something that Iwas nervous about.
The older you get, the harderit is to make friends, and I
(47:27):
really found some great friendsthroughout this experience with
this band, so that's what I'mloving right now.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Man, I love that for you, Dom Thanks for sharing that
.
Thanks.
You know, there's so manythings that I love right now.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
honestly, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
It's just like this past year and I feel like this
year is just going to be so muchgood stuff going on.
But I'm going to speak to whatI love that I think will be a
fun thing to share with you andyour audience is incense.
I really love incense and I'mnot talking about like the
sticks or the cones.
I'm talking about like if you,or the cones.
I'm talking about like if youcan see it, this is frankincense
(48:06):
right here.
You know there's like 18different kinds of frankincense
in the world.
This stuff is considered apsychotropic.
If you burn this, it willchange your state of mind into
relaxation.
It's crazy.
So I met this guy shout out toJohn Lanius of Shihan Wellness,
he's a Komodo, which is aJapanese incense ceremony master
(48:27):
, and I went to my first incensejourney.
I guess it was like last yeararound Christmas, and in this
journey we sat in a room and wesmelled 10 different kinds of
frankincense for two hours andwe had a conversation about all
the benefits of frankincense.
But also, what was reallyprofound for me is how I felt
when I left that building.
I was completely sober when Iwent into that place and I went
(48:50):
into that journey and when Icame out I was probably the most
relaxed I've ever felt in myentire life, and that is because
of incense, and I never, ever,thought, thought about that my
entire life, like I've always,you know, liked incense growing
up, but I've always had, like,the sticks and the cones.
I never knew anything aboutresonated incense, you know.
(49:10):
Yeah, and the very fact thatthis is a tool that anyone can
use to help regulate yournervous system or even help,
like, expand your consciousnessin some kind of way, maybe help
bring up memories, because, youknow, our memories are attached
to our sense of smell, our smellit kind of blows my mind to
think about this, but like it'sa part of your diet in a way.
(49:30):
You know what you're smellingis what you're ingesting, and so
incense is a thing that you canuse in your daily routine to
help regulate your nervoussystem, to help give you energy,
focus, clarity, all differentkinds of things, and I never
knew that.
So I've been working with theincense.
Now, like you know, john got mehip to his sources and so I've
(49:51):
been kind of growing mycollection a little bit more.
I got all these different kindsof fun incenses, everything
like resins to woods and I'vejust been kind of having I've
been inviting friends overlately and kind of have my own
little instances, journeys, justbecause, like I got all these
nice things, it's a shame for meto just sit in my room and
smell them by myself, yeah, andso it's been really fun to share
(50:12):
this with people and see howpeople are reacting to this and
kind of just like spreading theawareness of like there's so
many cool tools that we have tomake this life great, and so
that's what I'm really lovingright now.
I'm loving that and I'm lovingbeing able to share that with
people.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I always love talking to you and catching up and I'm
just so happy that you're in agood headspace and you're
getting to do your thing,performing in Nashville and
seeing new places.
That's the dream, so of course,you know how it is at the end
of the show.
We've said everything we wantedto say.
We've spoken through all of ourtopics.
Last thing I want to know nowis how do you feel.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
I feel really good and I just want to say, you know
, to keep in the thing of goodvibes I think something that's
important to remember because itcan be hard when times are
tough is that we are safe andsupported in more ways than we
could possibly understand, andthat's been a lesson that I've
learned since Peru, and I'vebeen living in that lesson for
the past two and a half, threeyears now I don't even know how
long it's been and it is aconstant reminder.
Like even you know, I've hadlots of trials since Peru, lots
of things that have been sad,that have been disappointing,
(51:40):
but they've all led to betterthings, and so I think it's
something that I just kind ofwant to share again for myself,
also to you and to the audiencesthat we are safe and supported
in more ways than we possiblyunderstand.
Cheers to you, man.
Hey, cheers Dom.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
I want to thank you for listening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast.
The opening quote.
Credit goes to Jim Rohn andshout out to my guy, jake, for
being on the podcast.
Follow Jacob at Holisticunderscore guitarist on
Instagram.
Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us
a good rating.
Five stars, please, and thankyou.
(52:22):
You can support the show byclicking the link at the bottom
of the episode description.
If you like this episode, youshould check out our previous
episode we did, titled lessonsfrom peru.
It's a great listen.
Check it out.
Follow me at dom underscorel-a-m-o-u-r.
On instagram or at domlamorecom.
I'm Dom Lamore, much love.
These are more important, these one-on-one
conversations, because I'm sureyou know by now that social
media is just an echo chamber.
You can spread out as manyopinions as you want, but you're
going to be subdued by everyoneelse's opinions and everything
else that's going on, all theads and all the reels and
everything.
So it's just like no, I thinkthe most important thing is just
keep doing.
What we're doing is havingthese human-to-human moments,
(00:20):
having these conversations andalso, just, most importantly,
working on ourselves.
Moments having theseconversations and also, just,
most importantly, working onourselves, because the more that
we can get our own personalselves to a life that we want,
we set that example for theworld to go you can do this too.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here.
My name is Dom L'Amour and youare listening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast.
On today's episode, I speakwith my guy, jacob Zingerling,
about moving into the new year,self-work, the state of our
society and so much more.
Life in business is like thechanging seasons.
You cannot change the seasons,but you can change yourself.
(01:10):
Therein lies the opportunity tolive an extraordinary life, the
opportunity to change yourself.
The year has already startedoff, I think, fantastic.
Last year was another one ofthose years where I felt very
positive about the beginning ofit, but by the end this is the
weirdest thing how you can feela certain way just because it's
(01:31):
the end of the year and then thenext year it's like a whole
different feeling For you.
Do you even approach New Year'swith any special juice or
anything?
Because I've been trying toavoid making it a big deal.
I just want to continue themission that I'm on the year
before into the next.
How are you approaching that?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I feel like it is kind of in the programming to
just when the new year's comes,you automatically kind of have
like resolutions and goals andstuff that you want to work
towards, but they're reallynothing new from anything I've
been working on the past coupleof years, like I mean, my
intentions for this year was totravel and play music outside of
St Louis, more, yeah, andthat's exactly how I started the
(02:13):
year off.
So I guess it's going good youknow.
But then if you get into the,you know, if you get into, like,
the spiritual community, lotsof people are like the new year
it doesn't really start injanuary, it actually starts
during the uh, spring equinox, Ibelieve.
Okay, and so.
So then there's all thesetheories too about, like you
know, the reason why your newyear's resolutions don't work is
because you don't even.
(02:33):
You only start them at the, thebeginning of the real new year.
You know, this is the, the fakenew year some people would call
it.
You know that's realinteresting.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
why would you?
I would love to know more aboutthat.
Do you, do you have any moreinformation on why?
That is the idea like of whereit, where it starts?
Because I've I've heard so manythings about you know the stars
, alignment and ancientcivilizations using astrology
and different things to move theworld forward like they did,
(03:02):
and then we kind of just gotaway from it.
And I feel like that ishappening not only commercial
things like New Year's Eve, butalso like in general, like I was
reading a book, bradenSweetgrass, last year and she
was talking about the connectionthat they had with the
vegetables, where they wouldgrow some vegetables but they
would leave some vegetables sothat the animals can get it but
(03:24):
also so that they can replantthe next year.
And they always felt like ifyou take too much, it ruins
nature.
But for sure you see Americansoverdoing everything constantly
for profit and it eliminates thewhole spiritual nature element
of it.
I'm just curious on why theywould say one place is where it
really starts and what about?
(03:45):
That area changes everythingfor New Year's today.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh man, you know, it's like, I feel like we could
get into it and it'll start tosound conspiratorial, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, that's usually how it happens.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I don't know enough about it really to speak on too
much other than just like whatI've heard from certain things.
And it seems, like you know, wehave the winter solstice, the
spring equinox, the autumnequinox seem to be points in
time and nature where thingsactually do change, like days
start to get shorter, days startto get longer at certain points
in time, and so it would appearthat if you were actually going
(04:19):
with, like, the rhythm ofnature, then it would make more
sense to start cycles on theequinoxes or the solstices
instead of, like, I mean,january 1st.
There's really nothing going onLike from a from a nature point
of view other than we've justdecided.
January 1st is the beginning ofthe year, you know, but that is
something that comes about frommy understanding of like
(04:41):
ancient I believe that was likeancient Greek or ancient Roman
culture.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
More likely one of those two, because that's
usually where most of our normsstarted.
There are, you know, Egyptians,of course, but like the people
who tell the story, the ones whokind of kept guiding us in the
direction that we ended up in.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, so somehow we got onto the 12 months and this
is something that was kind of,from my understanding, brought
about from the mayan calendar,that we used to live in a 13
month moon cycle, and thensupposedly the greeks or the
romans, whichever got rid of the13th moon for some reason.
I don't know.
I imagine it has something todo with control.
(05:20):
And then, yeah, now we findourselves in this 12 month cycle
.
You know when in the historythere used to be a time when it
was 13 months in a year?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yeah, I feel like that's something that I mean in
the history.
There used to be a bunch ofbooks in the Bible that never
are mentioned.
Now they act like it was just.
This is exactly how it'ssupposed to be, but there was so
much extra information and somany other people who felt like
they had a word to say in thatsituation.
I always quote Hamilton, whereyou know history has its eyes on
(05:52):
you in a sense of like who willtell your story?
I always took that away fromthat play because it's very,
very interesting to think aboutwhere our life is and how it
will be told, if we pass away orif someone finds my journal a
thousand years from now, howthey would look at me as a
(06:16):
person of significance or notsignificant.
How will they talk about meafter I'm gone?
And when it comes to the thingsthat we hold near and dear,
someone with power at one pointwas like you know what?
I don't think we need all ofthese books in the Bible.
I don't think we need 13 months.
I think we should change thetime an hour back at this time
(06:38):
of the year just because and wedo that and we don't really ask
too many questions on why.
No, we're too busy beingentertained to ask questions.
Indeed indeed.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Being entertained and buying stuff.
To piggyback off your earlierpoint about we're getting to
this point where we're buying somuch, netflix just released a
really interesting documentarycalled Buy Now.
It's about this concept of likethe cycles of corporations just
constantly making stuff andmaking stuff and no one makes
anything to last anymore.
You know, you think about.
(07:11):
It used to take like what?
Like a year or two before thenew iPhone came out.
Now what are we getting?
Like two iPhones a year all ofa sudden.
Now you know it's just like it'sspeeding up more and more.
And so this documentary isreally eye-opening because it's
showing on a physical scale likehere's a city and here's how
much stuff is being produced.
It is literally taking the cityover and that's how much trash
(07:33):
these corporations are making.
And it's very interestingbecause I think we're getting to
a point where we have to startholding these corporations
accountable, because thecorporate way it doesn't seem to
make any sense.
There's no end point, like Imean, I remember having a
conversation with one of my oldbosses back when I was kind of
working in the corporate fieldand environments and stuff, and
(07:55):
he was kind of telling me thiswhole thing and he's like you
know, imagine, like yourbusiness makes $5 million this
year, so in order for you to bea successful business next year,
you have to make $6 million.
If you just make $5 million thenext year, in the corporate
eyes you're not a successfulbusiness anymore.
But to me that's freakingabsurd because it's like how
much money do you need whenthere's people that are walking
(08:17):
around?
I've heard some people be like,well, I have $7 million, I
don't know what to do with.
And it's like why do you stillneed more money, then why are
you operating this business tobe like?
Well, we need to make moremoney and more money, and more
money, and produce more thingsto make more money.
And it's just like the snakeeating its own tail it never
just seems to never end.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And the funny thing about that is when you talk to
someone with that much money, Imean it's kind of like the old
the song more money, moreproblems where it's like people
pretend like you don'tunderstand how hard it is to
have this much money, how muchother stuff I have to pay for
because I have this much money.
And it's like I hear that andI'm like if I had a thousand
(08:59):
dollars today, you know what I'msaying that would be a
significant difference in what Ido and how much I save and this
and that.
And people create this illusionthat they aren't really holding
on to this money.
That's why they need more money, but really their own money,
without touching the money.
That's what they're doing,that's what they're constantly
(09:28):
doing, and they try to put thisillusion out that they are
making more money because theydon't have the money that you
think they have.
You see that they made this muchmoney or they're worth this
much money, but that money isn'tliquid.
It's this I got to do, that, Igot to do this.
It's like we see things rightin our face and we continue to
(09:49):
let it happen and it makes usjust really feel like we have no
power whatsoever.
And you see little moments likethe guy who murdered the CEO
and people rally around him andeveryone's like why would they
rally around someone so terrible?
But then we turn around andtalk about just how difficult
(10:13):
life is.
These insurance companies aretaking so much money from us.
How are you not seeing thenegative stuff that's happening
on that side as well?
No one should be murdered, butno one should be surprised why
that person was murdered.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's safe to say we're
coming to a boiling point as asociety.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
The way that we've been living up until this point.
We're clearly starting to seeon so many levels it's not
working.
You know, I mean you look atthe environment, you look at the
economical landscape, just lookat your friends, you know that
are like grinding day in and dayout just so they can have a
roof over their head and eatsome food.
You know, and it's like, yeah,I have seen the more money, more
(10:53):
problems thing.
I've watched people go frombeing poor to making lots of
money and their face physicallychanges like they do.
But it's really I think it's a'sa twofold thing too, because
also more money, more comfort,and that's why they don't want
to get rid of that money.
You know, because it's, it'sjust another trap you fall into.
You make more money, you buymore stuff.
You buy more stuff.
(11:14):
You need to make more money tomaintain more stuff.
You know yachts are expensiveyeah, they are and they and it
costs to maintain them.
You know and imagine, once youget on a yacht it's probably
hard to be like I'll just neverbe on a yacht again after that.
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
It's like I don't want to take a cruise line.
Now I know how to get on ayacht.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Right, I'm guilty of that stuff.
Being a musician, I getbackstage treatment and all that
kind of stuff.
It's hard to go to anotherconcert and be like damn, I'm,
you know, I don't know where's,I don't get no free food or like
whatever.
So, like I can speak from myown point, like I'm not.
I'm not rich in the sense of Ihave a lot of money, but I think
, like being a musician, I'mrich in a different sense of
(11:56):
like I do get other experiencesthat are comforting and nice,
you know, and it and I, you know, once you reach a certain level
of comfort, it's really hard togo backwards from that level,
you know, and that's just maybea human thing.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I imagine it's a human thing, but the idea that
there's so much unsaidinformation when it comes to our
society.
When it comes to our society,something that I feel like I've
been screaming every time I geta chance to is the idea that
minimum wage has been the samefor so long but the inflation
has gone up.
So we're being expected to domore work and get extra jobs,
(12:38):
but they aren't willing to payus more and they're saying you
don't deserve more, but theydeserve more profit.
That's the craziest part.
It's like how is it constantlyokay, another year of inflation
and everyone complaining aboutinflation, complaining about
grocery prices, complainingabout gas, complaining about
everything is too high, but wecan't get a minimum wage, of all
(13:02):
things up, and it's like, well,those people don't deserve it.
Almost.
You know, I have family membersI have to listen to when I go
home who try to tell me why dopeople who make my coffee need
$15?
And I'm looking at them likeyou used to work in service
industry, you used to be inthose rooms and in some ways you
could say, well, they knowwhat's going on in the inside
(13:24):
and it's like, no, no personshould go to work every day in
this country and have to getanother job because that one job
won't pay them enough to live.
Yeah, no one should have to dothat oh yeah especially if
they're working 40 hours a week.
no corporation should be able topurposefully keep you at 39 and
(13:48):
a half hours and then make youleave so they won't have to pay
you a full salary or a fullprice.
They shouldn't be able to dothat, but they do it all the
time and people have to justtake it on the chin because we
don't have the money or thepower to even compete with these
corporations.
How is it that we consistentlyfind moments in our society that
(14:11):
we know are bullshit?
We know insurance is fuckingbullshit.
We know that it's soinfuriating how you pay all this
money every month to feel moresafe, but then, when something
happens, they try to find everyreason not to help you.
Why am I paying you?
Why is that not something thatwe've changed?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, the great scam.
Well, you know, I mean, you'reright.
You're right on the one.
Maybe we don't have the money,but we do have the power, you
know, because these corporationswouldn't work if we stopped
participating.
The thing is is we keepparticipating and I know it's a
tough thing because we do getthe money.
But you know, it's somethingI've thought about a lot and I
(14:53):
don't have an answer yet.
Otherwise I probably would beoff, you know, in the middle of
nowhere with a group of peoplelike Living Life, you know, in
some other kind of way.
But there is this we vote everyday with where we spend our
money and what corporations wegive our money to because we
keep them going.
They make money because wespend money.
Their corporations are aliveand well because we're working
(15:15):
for them and we're making sureeverything goes.
I imagine if everyone quitAmazon, jeff Bezos probably
wouldn't be able to keep thatshit going.
There's no way he's going to beable to take all the orders,
fill all the orders, drive allthe orders to everyone's door
and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
See, that's not the conflict, though.
If everyone walked out ofAmazon tomorrow, there would be
thousands of people willing togo into that position.
Yeah, and take that money, andmaybe take less than the person
who was already there, becausethey're desperate for
opportunity and hopefully, whenyou hear a name like Amazon in
(15:52):
the top position is opened upand you are qualified for it,
you're going to shut up foranything and make that money.
He doesn't have to.
He's so rich and successful.
If everyone left and it wasbecause he was a racist, he
still would find people that hecould get in there to do all of
(16:12):
that stuff for him andmanipulate, and he'll be just
sitting where he is sittingpretty Not worried, because I
hear you saying I mean, it's thesame thing with musicians, and
why some music economies justdon't do well is because there's
always, always someone willingto undercut you.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
So then we have to figure out a way to make it to
where you know what would be thething that you could do to make
someone not want to go and work, like, no matter what the money
, no matter what the cost, andso, yeah, I don't know.
I'm sure this is somethingbigger minds are working on.
This stuff is definitely overmy head, because you're talking
about restructuring society in awhole.
You know, I mean, it seems like, in a way, we probably have to
(16:52):
move away from capitalism, butthere's no easy way to do that,
because that's what it is.
I mean, the reason people areclocking in this job is because
they're making money, and themoney is what affords them their
lifestyle.
But if you didn't need to makemoney in order to have a good
lifestyle, you probably wouldn'tgo work at Amazon.
So it is coming to somethingthat I think we're all moving
(17:16):
towards as a society is a newway of living, a new way of
being human and a new way ofbeing with your community.
And what does that mean?
Because people are getting fedup.
I talk to them every day.
I'm sure you talk to them too.
We see it, we see it all.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I feel like, in a way , though, when I hear that, it's
hard to believe.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Like cause.
Yes, there is a lot of peopletalking, but there's a lot of
more opportunity for you here tohear these people talk.
Back in the day, you justwatched the news and that was
usually the only person youcould hear complain on the news
that one day you couldn't hearrandom people that live in your
city.
You didn't know how the peoplein your city because you
couldn't see their faces pop upon Snapchat that they live near
(18:03):
you or Instagram.
The fact that we have so manyplatforms with so many people
makes it so easy for us to hearthe complainers, but there's a
lot more people quiet than thereare that are talking.
I'm one of them.
I don't get online and air outanything other than with the
podcast.
I come on here and do this, butI'm not on Instagram telling
(18:25):
them what's really going on inmy life.
I'm not on Facebook tellingthem.
I don't even get on X.
I don't have a Snapchat anymore.
I don't do any of that stuffanymore.
So I'm constantly talking to myfriends having these
conversations on the pod or onthe phone and I'm not pushing it
out there.
But you like hear what you said.
(18:46):
I feel the way that you do.
There's at least a million morepeople that feel the opposite
of what we feel, that aren'tsaying anything about that, that
we don't hear about, that wewill never hear about.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, I mean, I agree with you.
I don't air out my opinions andstuff on any of the social
media either.
I just use that to say, hey, ifyou want to see me play music
here, it is, here's me playingmusic.
If you want to see me in personplaying music, here's my events
.
But no, I'm never going to putmy opinions on.
I think these are more important, these one-on-one conversations
, because I'm sure you know bynow that social media is just an
(19:20):
echo chamber.
You can put out as manyopinions as you want, but you're
going to be subdued by everyoneelse's opinions and everything
else that's going on all the adsand all the reels and
everything.
So it's just like.
No, I think the most importantthing is just keep doing.
What we're doing is havingthese human to human moments,
having these conversations andalso, just most importantly,
working on ourselves, becausethe more that we can get our own
(19:42):
personal selves to a life thatwe want, we set that example for
the world to go.
You can do this too.
I think that's kind of one ofthe most important things and
it's been a focus of mine for awhile now is just like I can
only control so much of my outerscope, you know, and it's like,
and I could spend all my timeand all my energy thinking about
(20:03):
all that stuff.
But what would happen if I justwent within more and figured
out how to boost myself up to mybest ability?
Then what kind of energy couldI bring to my community then,
when I finally have the energyand the resources to take care
of myself as well as take careof other people?
But I've been noticing it moreon my own front is it's like,
(20:25):
the more I work on myself, themore I see the world change
around me, and so it does feelalmost like we are living in the
possibility of two differentworlds right now.
There's the one world where thetechs take over and we just work
these jobs and are in controlour whole lives and own nothing
(20:48):
and be happy, type of thing.
Or there's this other realitywhere we build ourselves up, we
build up our neighbors, we buildup our community and we stop
feeding the corporations and westart living basic lives again
with the earth and with nature,and I think we're starting to
(21:08):
see these like two realitiesunfold, and no reality is really
better than the other.
It's just what suits you andwhat makes you happy, cause
that's, at the end of the day, Iguess, what it's about.
You know it's.
It's our experience.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Something that popped in my head when you were saying
that there's this TV show basedon a video game.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Oh, with the zombies and the-.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pedro Pascal.
And there's a moment when he'stalking to his brother and
they're in this compound andthey're describing the life that
they're living there, whereeverything is equal and everyone
takes an equal share andeveryone has a job and they
communicate and they livepeacefully in this community
(21:52):
doing these things.
And one of the characters islike oh, so it's kind of like
communism.
And one of the people who livedthere was like absolutely not.
No, we're not commies, what doyou mean?
He was like that's whatcommunism is.
You mean he was like that'swhat communism is and he like
has this realization?
Like oh, my, oh, my god, wow,something that makes my life so
(22:14):
easy, something that makes itseem normal during all of these
zombie things, is living thisway.
Yet I had this negativementality about it because of
the propaganda that I was fedwhen I was living another way,
and it's like wow, those are thethings that a lot of people
would really want.
I don't think there's a lot ofpeople out there who would be
(22:36):
opposed to living in a societywhere people look out for each
other and actually are willingto pay everyone.
You all get paid the same, weall going to make the same
amount of money.
I'm the boss and I'm going tomake the same amount of money as
you, two kind of thing.
Now, just for people listeningto this, I don't support any of
(22:58):
those parties or stuff like that.
I'm not a communist at all.
I don't do any of that mess andI feel like I have to say this
now because I very much didstart talking like I was about
to try to make it sound like I'mall about that.
But I do see, especially when Itravel, the way societies
working together can be nicer ifit wasn't based on the highest
(23:22):
bidder or monopolies taking overone specific thing.
You know we deal with that inAmerica all the time and the
government finds ways to try tostop it.
Like with Albertsons and Krogertrying to merge.
It's crazy to think that a momand pop grocery store will have
to shut down because a Walmartmoves into that town.
(23:43):
Why do you need a family-ownedbusiness?
Why do you need farmers familyowned business?
Why do you need farmers sellingvegetables directly to you and
you can go to Walmart and getstuff from Mexico and get stuff
from other places that you nevercould imagine and when you go
somewhere like Ireland, like weonly ate vegetables that were
grown either on the island orthat came like from Spain.
(24:05):
But it didn't come from far.
It was, it was from them.
They made it the eggs that wefrom Spain.
But it didn't come from far, itwas from them.
They made it the eggs that weate at.
I remember we was in thisrestaurant.
The egg guy came in anddelivered the eggs for that day
and I remember seeing him bringthem in and be like I wonder
what that situation is.
And the server came over andwas like oh yeah, these eggs
(24:26):
that you're eating today comesfrom a farm that's at least a
mile away from here and we getall of our vegetables fresh
vegetables, unless we have toget some imported.
But we mostly stay here on theisland and don't invest in
anything other than our ownpeople's economy.
Think about that.
Think about living in acommunity like you live in
(24:46):
Maplewood and in Maplewood,everyone in Maplewood only
bought stuff in Maplewood andpurchased food that was grown
outside or through Maplewood.
And you need your jacket fixedup?
You only get it fixed inMaplewood.
You need shoes you buy it fromthe person who makes shoes in
Maplewood.
It's all specifically this onearea working together to create
(25:10):
an environment where they canlook out for each other, support
each other and the economy isbased on them working with each
other instead of random peoplebuying stuff on Amazon.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the kind of shit thatI'm like.
We used to be like that in ways, but I feel like corporations
found the key and there'snothing we really can do to
(25:32):
change back to that.
Unless you do it within yourown little community, you know,
like if you have your owncompound of people and y'all
make a vow to do it, that's.
That's the only way it reallyworks like that in this world
now in America, you got a point.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
You know we were sold convenience and we fucking love
convenience.
I think it's at a point where,like, like you said, it's it's
up to you to to make it in yourcommunity Cause, like I mean,
just where I live right now,there's like two community
gardens just right around me,you know, and so that's like
there's people right there thatare growing their food, giving
(26:08):
it out to unhoused people andgiving it to the community, and
the community comes, people comefrom the neighborhood and help
work on those gardens and stufflike that.
Yeah, and I think it's one ofthose things where it could seem
like it could never go back tothat way, but I think it's one
of those things where it kind ofhas to go back to that way, at
least for some people.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I'll change what I say.
I don't think it's impossible.
The thing I don't want to sayis that I think the only way
it'll happen is somethinghorrible would have to happen.
We would have to have some typeof disaster, something like
COVID.
You saw what happened withCOVID.
That's level of threat orchange in our life would have to
(26:52):
happen for people to wise up.
And even in that scenario, wesaw people really either go even
darker than they are now, findways to try to rebel against
what was going on around us,like we saw the negativity bleed
into that as well, and it wasso difficult.
It was very difficult dealingwith people during COVID.
I feel like, when it comes toeverything, you go to the
(27:14):
grocery store and the people whodon't care, who aren't wearing
the mask and they're justbreathing in face, or you know
the people who do care too muchand they're not willing to even
engage with you whatsoever, eventhough you're doing the right
things too.
It just I feel like, no matterwhat, we're always going to have
conflict like that, butsomething big would have to
(27:35):
happen for us to actually get usin a place like that and it'd
be working out, and then somepropaganda, some misinformation
would find its way back into oursociety and allow it to flip
back to where it was.
I feel like it's just aconstant clock going around in a
(27:57):
circle and the circle is alwaysgoing to keep happening and
that clock ain't stopping it.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah, I mean, I think you're right, it's cycles.
We've seen it in history.
There's always been points ofperiods where things have been
peaceful, things have beenbooming, life has never been
better, and then a plague hitsand then that happens, but that
was a catalyst for somethingeven better to happen.
So it's kind of like thatuniversal law of opposition.
We wouldn't know one withoutthe other and things always have
(28:24):
to keep moving.
And in that movement, just likea roller coaster or a wave, you
know, there's peaks and there'svalleys.
And I agree, I don't think thatit would ever just always be
good, as well as it's neveralways just going to be bad.
And it seems like there'susually always points in parts
of earth where, like, this partof earth is going great while
(28:48):
this part of earth is not.
So it's almost like, in a weirdway, it is kind of like a
balance.
There's like this old twilightzone episode where, like, this
guy dies and he, he goes toheaven, right, and his version
of heaven is like a casino wherehe, he gets free food, he gets
free drinks, he wins all themoney, all the women go home
with him every night freakinggreat he great, he loves it,
(29:08):
right.
He's just having the time of hislife.
He's like, oh my God, this isso great, right.
And then flash forward to someamount of time who knows, could
have been months, could havebeen years.
You come to the guy and he'slike, slumped over the slot
machine and one of thewaitresses comes over.
He's like I win everything, Iget all the free food.
No one ever tells me no.
Like I'm bored.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I wish I would.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I wish I would lose one time.
You know, I wish someone wouldactually just like reject me.
I wish that they would make mepay, for much medicine can turn
to poison, you know.
And so it is about that balanceand I think that's just kind of
(29:51):
for earth.
What it what it is about isabout learning.
You know.
It's about growth andexperience, and you can't have
growth and experience without alittle friction, without a
little conflict, without alittle chaos.
You know it's I hate to say it,but it is, it's somewhat
necessary for experience and forgrowth I agree.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Uh, let's go ahead and switch it up.
I feel like we've, we went onto that and that was great, but
it's like, oh man, I all right.
Great example rick and morty.
You know the tv TV show.
I remember I binge watched thatfor a week or so and after,
(30:33):
like I said, having so much ofit, so constantly enjoying it, I
started to really like there'sno God and there's none of that.
I'm just, I'm too smart tosettle for any of that stuff.
It doesn't matter.
And so you start to hear thatand you start to laugh and you
(30:57):
hear it over and over and over.
Then you get to a place whereyou're like nothing really
matters, none of this is goingto like.
It's heartbreaking when I feelthat way.
It's heartbreaking when I thinkthat way because I'm such a I
(31:18):
want positive energy kind ofperson, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I want to believe that people are good and people
want to be good.
I want to believe that asociety truly wants the best for
everyone.
But then you know, the thingsthat I can't even imagine in my
own life that I would do happensconstantly.
(31:42):
Things that I can't evenimagine in my own life that I
would do happens constantly.
And you look at the peoplearound you and you're like why
is this happening?
Why do you want this to happen?
Why do we have to have thisnegativity?
Why do we have to have this meagainst you attitude about
everything?
And it's consistent Everyone isconstantly trying to find
(32:06):
different ways to underminesomeone else, when clearly, all
they need to do is just work onthem.
I don't have to care what you'redoing with your life.
All I have to know is are yougood?
You good?
Great.
I'm good, too, because I'vebeen working on me.
What have you been doing towork on yourself?
This Great.
I'm good, too, because I'vebeen working on me.
What have you been doing towork on yourself?
This, this, this, that Great.
I've been working on this, this, that, that, not saying what
(32:27):
have you been doing?
Oh well, I wish I was doingthat.
No, it's not about comparing.
It's not about trying to bethat person or trying to be
(32:50):
better morals and the thingsthat I see as right and wrong
versus other people.
It really makes a lot of thingsdifficult for me because some
of this stuff is no-brainer tome.
But then I'm like am I wrongfor feeling like I know exactly
what I would do in the scenario,but this person did something
(33:12):
completely opposite?
And it's a constant struggle toall right, nope, no comparison.
You can't compare yourselfanymore.
This isn't about that.
What?
are you doing for you and keepit moving.
We live in a very weird timefor someone else on an
(33:42):
individual level.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
there's no way we could ever possibly know what's
right or what's wrong forsomeone Like how many times do
you get something that you'vewanted in your life?
You're like, if I could justget that, then everything will
be great.
You know, I know, it'll be great, you know.
And then you get that thing andafter a while having it, you
realize like dang, this didn'tfix anything.
Or like now I want this thingright.
And then think about how manymoments you've had in your life
where something happened to youthat you didn't want to happen
(34:04):
to you.
But when you really look backon that thing that you didn't
want to happen to you, you lookat everything that happened
after that and you're thankfulbecause you're like if that
negative thing didn't happen tome, happen then, like I wouldn't
be here now.
Yeah, you know, and so I think,especially when it comes to
things happening here on earth,there are just like there's a
(34:26):
bigger picture.
There's things that I don'tthink we can comprehend with our
human brain about what's reallygoing on here, and so it can be
so easy from our human minds tobe like, well, I would have
never, you know, drank thatpoison.
Like that's just crazy.
You're poisoning yourselfyourself, like why would you do
that?
But for someone else, maybepart of their experience is they
(34:46):
need to get poisoned.
Yeah, you know, they need toknow what that feels like.
They need to have thatexperience and something is
going to come to the other sideof that, even if it kills them,
like there's something aboutthat, you know, as was it?
Einstein said, matter canneither be created nor destroyed
, right?
So then, if you drink poisonand you die, some people could
look at that as it's a bad thing.
(35:07):
But maybe in a universalsetting, like that's some other
part of like growth orexperience that needs to happen
for whatever reason.
I can't explain because I can'tcomprehend this stuff, but I
think it can get dangerous whenwe start to be the person that
goes.
This crowd of people shouldn'tbe doing that, because that's
wrong, because that's wrong towho?
(35:27):
That's wrong to you.
But who are we to know what'swrong?
Who are we to be the judges ofwhat's wrong or right in this
world when we can't evencomprehend the full scale of
what's really going on here?
Yeah that's just hard, yeah, man, being a human's tricky dude.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah, that's so hard because you put yourself in this
.
I forget where I saw this, butthey say silence is just as bad
as saying something wrong Ifyou're not defending people in
certain scenarios and you'rejust quiet like in racism.
If someone's being racist inyour family and you just sit
there and let them be racist,it's like you're part of the
(36:04):
problem because you're silent.
But in that same sense, likeyou said, there's a lot of
things that we can't control inthe world.
We are just trying to make itto the next day.
So sometimes you kind of got totake the lessons on the chin.
Learn from them, say what youwant to say sometimes, but even
then maybe saying somethingisn't even necessary, because
(36:26):
what good is going to come ofyou saying what's right in that
scenario?
How can you truly be the personto speak on this when you can't
comprehend exactly what's goingon?
You just have feelings.
I feel like I had somethingrecently happen that way to me
where I was really nervous abouthow people were going to be in
a certain situation, when theywere exactly how I thought they
(36:47):
were going to be, and I reallysucked and all I wanted to do
was scream and shake thesepeople.
I wanted to just be like whyare you like this?
Why is this the way that youdecided to do this?
And the more I've been able tosit down and meditate and have
some time in my space alone.
You know, being able to go onmy walks and do my stretches and
(37:08):
breathing exercises and reallyfind my zen.
Helping me find my zen hashelped me look at that moment.
And hearing you say thisactually, too, helped me look at
those moments in that scenariowhere I'm like I want to just
say something horrible, but Ididn't say anything.
Because I read a book last yearand one of the big things was
sometimes what needs to be saiddoesn't have to be said.
Sometimes you just have to bequiet.
(37:30):
So before you speak, think,think about what good is going
to come from what you're goingto say.
In that scenario I was so upsetbut I was like if I say what
I'm feeling, it's just going tocome back on me.
I'm the negative one, I'malways this, I'm always that.
So what happens when you justdon't do that?
Everyone walks away from this,happy with you, but you're
(37:51):
working on yourself and now Ican look back on that and be
like I mean it was a good thingI didn't say anything because
I'm able to work through thismyself, with my wife, with the
people that surround me andlearn from it for the future.
If I'm in the scenario againhow to properly maybe handle it,
because in the next scenario,if it happens, I'll be able to
say the things that I wasn'table to say then because I
(38:13):
thought about it, you know.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Yeah, and there's always that chance of you could
have the perfect words to say inany, in any moment you know,
but it's up to the other partyif they want to hear that or not
yeah you know as well, and soit always does become such a
tricky thing when it comes tothat stuff.
I had a moment the other day.
I was at this jam out innashville.
I had this big epiphany aboutthe concept of like you ever
(38:37):
heard the term someone's vibingyou yeah and like, but it's in a
negative way, right I don'tknow the negative.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Yes, this is.
This is something I've beenI've been hearing a little bit
more about.
So if you're vibing withsomeone, that's good.
If the party's a vibe, that'sgood yeah but I've heard now
there's people that are kind ofusing the lingo like if
someone's vibing you, it's likea negative scenario.
It's like they're like, oh youknow, he ain't nothing, like get
him out of here, kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
So, like, I had a couple of these experiences at
the jam, where I thought someonewas vibing me, you know, and I
sat with it in my head because Iwas like man, did that really
just happen the way I think Idid?
You know, like, did they reallyjust like treat me like that,
or am I kind of just like makingthis up and eventually I kind
(39:25):
of like instead of like going?
Because it's so interesting howmy mind usually wants to
immediately assume the negativething.
You know, like someone isvibing me or you know starting
something or whatever.
But like, I sat with that alittle bit and was like what if
it's not that way?
You know what if maybe what'sgoing on is like I have my own
(39:48):
social awkwardness and I have myown social anxiety and my own
insecurities and those arecoming together with the other
person's social awkwardness,anxiety, insecurities, and that
comes off to me as like othervibe in me, but really it's just
like two socially awkwardpeople getting together, you
know kind of thing.
Because, like, eventually, likeI talked with them again later
(40:10):
on in the night and the wholescenario was different.
It was like they're happy,they're like oh man, you sounded
great, like this and that andall this stuff, and I was like
oh that's so interesting, youknow, and so it makes me wonder.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
So interesting, you know, and so it makes me wonder,
like, how often people thinkthat someone's in our society
because we have so muchinformation.
It's like when you think you'resick and you go online and try
to figure out what is havingthis symptom mean and the next
thing you know you're on a downspiral because you think you
have cancer.
Now it's the too muchinformation, too many cues from
(40:58):
society.
You're watching a girl onInstagram and she says if a guy
says this to you, that meansthis.
So then a guy says that andyou're like, oh my God, they
feel this way about me.
But that girl has no idea whatthe fuck she's talking about.
And so you see all of thisinformation thrown in your way,
you hear all of these thingssaid to you about these things
that you think that you'refamiliar with, and then, boom,
(41:22):
you have this negative momentlike that.
I truly think it's just toomuch information.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
It's so wild how that stuff works, you know, and we
can go to the extreme too, Like,let's say that you know for a
fact that that person is vibingyou.
You know they're being mean toyou, they don't like you, you
know.
So I think about that now too,because what, what's?
There's that old saying thathurt people, hurt people.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, and so I don't know.
I had an epiphany about this along time ago when, like,
someone was yelling at me and itwas just like something just
clicked in my head and I waslike, oh, this has nothing to do
with me.
Yeah, actually this haseverything to do with them, and
then it allowed me to kind ofsink into a place of like.
I want to say like compassionfor them, because it wasn't like
(42:05):
I feel like empathy is when Ikind of like dropped down to
their level to like resonatewith them, whereas compassion is
I can be where I'm at and I cansee them where they're at and
be like hey, I feel for you.
You know, like I can tell thatyou're really going through some
hard stuff right now becauseyou're lashing out at me and
it's very unreasonable, you know, to my eyes, but to you it's
(42:26):
totally rational, you know.
And so it's just like I feelfor those people that walk
around.
They're angry, you know,they're spreading hate.
They're spreading all thisbecause you got to think about
the life that they're living.
Clearly it's not a good life.
People that are living a goodlife do not walk around
spreading hate.
I think about things from thataspect as well.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
The idea of simple-minded people talk about
people but then strong-mindedpeople talk about ideas and talk
about things that they want towork on, goals or things that
they look forward to.
I agree, I think that's kind ofthe same thing.
You see, these people who havenothing better to do to say the
wildest shit about people for areaction, and it affects people
(43:05):
a lot.
Yeah, we consistently findourselves in positions where, I
don't know, we're secondguessing ourselves because we
saw this or we heard this.
It's hard to get out of thatdark place.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Because the other people that you speak to might
not give you the rightinformation either.
No one really has the answers.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, no, it's a tough thing because there's also
what's true for me might not betrue for you.
I mean, shoot, we havedifferent blood types.
So it's like, maybe eating meatis great for me, but if I go on
a vegetarian diet I'll die,whereas, like someone else,
eating meat will like give themproblems and being on a
vegetarian diet will be greatfor them.
(43:50):
So, like then you can clearlysee, there's no one way for any
of us, you know, and it's justabout that's why it becomes ever
again so important for us tofigure out who we are you we are
and what works for us, and themore that we can ground down
into who we are, the more we canspread our gifts to the world.
(44:10):
And then what would that worldbe like?
Everyone could learn how tojust regulate their nervous
systems and have some time, beable to take some time for
themselves to not be on thereels or distracted with
anything.
You know, like meditate alittle bit, you know, even just
for five minutes a day, just tolike hear your thoughts and
clear your thoughts and knowthat you're not your thoughts.
(44:32):
You know, and and just likewhat would?
I'm like a child leaving school.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
I want you to wrap me with the gold, just for you.
My only goal is to love you,but more is there to choose.
I choose you, I choose you.
Baby, you, I choose you, baby,baby.
You are the girl of my dreams,baby, you have a smile that just
(45:13):
wings, and every time I see agirl I feel it on my knees.
Darling, I hold you, squeezeyou, tease you.
Girl, why don't we slow it down?
It's you and I.
We're high as the moon now, andour starlit skies.
(45:38):
I've never loved so, so deep,from your head down to your feet
.
Oh girl, I love you, love you.
I love you Cause, baby, you Arethe girl of my dreams.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
This is a throwback to when I used to live back in
St Louis, Right before I movedto LA.
This is me at Jacob's house.
Actually, we were doing a demofor my first album.
This tune is Baby you.
You can actually listen to iton my album Sweet Dreams.
It always makes me smilelistening back on these.
So I hope you enjoy the littlesnippet and if you want to
(46:20):
listen to any of my other musicor check me out for more
information, just go toDomLamorecom.
You can check out my music onall streaming platforms and
support the brother man.
I'm trying to do things big here.
I hope you're enjoying the show.
You know what I love.
(46:40):
I love the band that I'm in.
I'm in this wedding band calledBig Bling and the Funk Machine
and we gig so much and it's beenreally, really fulfilling doing
this stuff.
Tonight my bass player anddrummer they have their own band
that they work with.
It's like a metal band and soI'm going to go see their
concert tonight and it's justone of those things that I'm
(47:03):
very thankful.
I lived in LA and Chicago andback home in St Louis and I met
so many musicians and I havegreat relationships with you.
I have great relationships withgreat musicians, and to be able
to continue to meet people andbuild relationships, that's a
blessing.
It's really something that Iwas nervous about.
The older you get, the harderit is to make friends, and I
(47:27):
really found some great friendsthroughout this experience with
this band, so that's what I'mloving right now.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Man, I love that for you, Dom Thanks for sharing that
.
Thanks.
You know, there's so manythings that I love right now.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
honestly, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
It's just like this past year and I feel like this
year is just going to be so muchgood stuff going on.
But I'm going to speak to whatI love that I think will be a
fun thing to share with you andyour audience is incense.
I really love incense and I'mnot talking about like the
sticks or the cones.
I'm talking about like if you,or the cones.
I'm talking about like if youcan see it, this is frankincense
(48:06):
right here.
You know there's like 18different kinds of frankincense
in the world.
This stuff is considered apsychotropic.
If you burn this, it willchange your state of mind into
relaxation.
It's crazy.
So I met this guy shout out toJohn Lanius of Shihan Wellness,
he's a Komodo, which is aJapanese incense ceremony master
(48:27):
, and I went to my first incensejourney.
I guess it was like last yeararound Christmas, and in this
journey we sat in a room and wesmelled 10 different kinds of
frankincense for two hours andwe had a conversation about all
the benefits of frankincense.
But also, what was reallyprofound for me is how I felt
when I left that building.
I was completely sober when Iwent into that place and I went
(48:50):
into that journey and when Icame out I was probably the most
relaxed I've ever felt in myentire life, and that is because
of incense, and I never, ever,thought, thought about that my
entire life, like I've always,you know, liked incense growing
up, but I've always had, like,the sticks and the cones.
I never knew anything aboutresonated incense, you know.
(49:10):
Yeah, and the very fact thatthis is a tool that anyone can
use to help regulate yournervous system or even help,
like, expand your consciousnessin some kind of way, maybe help
bring up memories, because, youknow, our memories are attached
to our sense of smell, our smellit kind of blows my mind to
think about this, but like it'sa part of your diet in a way.
(49:30):
You know what you're smellingis what you're ingesting, and so
incense is a thing that you canuse in your daily routine to
help regulate your nervoussystem, to help give you energy,
focus, clarity, all differentkinds of things, and I never
knew that.
So I've been working with theincense.
Now, like you know, john got mehip to his sources and so I've
(49:51):
been kind of growing mycollection a little bit more.
I got all these different kindsof fun incenses, everything
like resins to woods and I'vejust been kind of having I've
been inviting friends overlately and kind of have my own
little instances, journeys, justbecause, like I got all these
nice things, it's a shame for meto just sit in my room and
smell them by myself, yeah, andso it's been really fun to share
(50:12):
this with people and see howpeople are reacting to this and
kind of just like spreading theawareness of like there's so
many cool tools that we have tomake this life great, and so
that's what I'm really lovingright now.
I'm loving that and I'm lovingbeing able to share that with
people.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I always love talking to you and catching up and I'm
just so happy that you're in agood headspace and you're
getting to do your thing,performing in Nashville and
seeing new places.
That's the dream, so of course,you know how it is at the end
of the show.
We've said everything we wantedto say.
We've spoken through all of ourtopics.
Last thing I want to know nowis how do you feel.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
I feel really good and I just want to say, you know
, to keep in the thing of goodvibes I think something that's
important to remember because itcan be hard when times are
tough is that we are safe andsupported in more ways than we
could possibly understand, andthat's been a lesson that I've
learned since Peru, and I'vebeen living in that lesson for
the past two and a half, threeyears now I don't even know how
long it's been and it is aconstant reminder.
Like even you know, I've hadlots of trials since Peru, lots
of things that have been sad,that have been disappointing,
(51:40):
but they've all led to betterthings, and so I think it's
something that I just kind ofwant to share again for myself,
also to you and to the audiencesthat we are safe and supported
in more ways than we possiblyunderstand.
Cheers to you, man.
Hey, cheers Dom.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
I want to thank you for listening to the Black man
Talking Emotions podcast.
The opening quote.
Credit goes to Jim Rohn andshout out to my guy, jake, for
being on the podcast.
Follow Jacob at Holisticunderscore guitarist on
Instagram.
Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us
a good rating.
Five stars, please, and thankyou.
(52:22):
You can support the show byclicking the link at the bottom
of the episode description.
If you like this episode, youshould check out our previous
episode we did, titled lessonsfrom peru.
It's a great listen.
Check it out.
Follow me at dom underscorel-a-m-o-u-r.
On instagram or at domlamorecom.
I'm Dom Lamore, much love.
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