Ep 050: How to Build a Healthy Self-Esteem

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Self-esteem shapes how life is experienced, but what if it's built on someone else's perception—one that was never true?

Many grow up believing they are too much or not enough, not realizing those beliefs were never theirs to begin with. If self-worth is shaped by someone else’s limited vision, it creates an identity built on falsehood. But doubt is the first sign that the real self is still there, waiting to be reclaimed.

That doubt is a reminder that deep down, you know there’s more to you than what you were told. But breaking free from those old beliefs takes time. It means unlearning the idea that worth is something to be earned and realizing it was never missing in the first place.

Self-esteem isn’t about being perfect—it’s about seeing yourself clearly. It’s understanding that mistakes don’t define you, and flaws don’t make you unworthy. When you stop measuring yourself by impossible standards, you make space for self-acceptance.

In this episode, I talk about self-esteem, identity, and breaking free from the false beliefs we were taught growing up. I share my personal journey of healing, the struggles with self-worth, and why shifting our perspective is key to true transformation. We’ll explore how past conditioning shapes our confidence, the impact of limiting beliefs, and practical steps to redefine how we see ourselves. Tune in as we unpack the roots of self-doubt, the power of self-acceptance, and the mindset shifts needed to step into a more authentic, empowered version of ourselves.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:19) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:23) Clap for yourself

(00:03:35) The goal to travel more in 2025

(00:05:12) Parenting and independence

(00:07:35) Reimagine yourself

(00:09:21) Celebrating milestones & community 

(00:10:23) Healing bring transformation

(00:11:03) The definition of self-esteem 

(00:15:25) An accurate premise of who you are

(00:17:33) How faulty self-esteem impacts us

(00:19:35) Who did your mother teach you to be? 

(00:24:52) Pay attention to your life

(00:27:07) The levels of autonomy 

(00:29:01) You can only row one boat

Key Takeaways: 

"A computer can be reprogrammed. That's what healing is—reprogramming."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disea

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