Ep 051: My mama made me feel like I didn’t belong

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Belonging is something everyone needs, but what if it feels out of reach?

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Many people feel like they don’t belong, even when they’re surrounded by others. We may find ourselves in spaces where we feel like outsiders, even within the groups we are part of. The need to always be useful, to facilitate, or to stay in control can prevent us from truly experiencing connection. This feeling often comes from deep fears or a sense of not being enough, which can create a wall that makes it hard to connect with those around us.

This feeling of not fitting in often starts with early experiences of exclusion, especially when we didn’t meet the expectations of our family, culture, or society. Whether it’s growing up in a different environment or feeling like you don’t belong to a specific group, these experiences can make us feel isolated. Over time, they can build walls around us to protect our hearts from further hurt.

In this episode, I’m unpacking the hidden wounds that so many Black women carry—the ones that keep us stuck in survival mode, disconnected from ourselves, and sacrificing our own needs just to keep going. We’re talking about how unhealed pain shapes our identity, why ‘being strong’ can sometimes be a trap, and the deep work required to break free from patterns that no longer serve us. Tune in as we explore the importance of building a sense of belonging and finding a community that truly sees and supports us.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:13) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:07) Today is a good day!

(00:02:25) Community and Belonging

(00:08:36) Being in the world but not of the world

(00:10:11) The loneliness of never fitting in

(00:12:24) The home that held me when mine didn’t

(00:14:33) Unlearning “I am not good enough”

(00:18:29) Belonging is not fitting in

(00:23:36) “I thought i was the only one”

(00:28:09) Share and Show who you are

(00:29:19) Let people show up for you

(00:31:19) Curiosity about your own self

(00:34:51) Deprioritizing productivity

(00:37:08) Belonging is a natural state

(00:38:07) Grow in community

Key Takeaways: 

"I wanted to feel like I was a part of something—not because of my usefulness or how it could get me ahead, but because it felt like home."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinion

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