All Episodes

August 4, 2025 29 mins

Why I Had to Name This

I created this episode because I’ve seen too many high-achieving Black and Brown women—myself included—blame ourselves for the very thoughts that helped us survive. We’ve been told to “think better,” “stay positive,” or “change our mindset,” without anyone asking where those thoughts came from or what they were protecting us from. That’s not healing. That’s cognitive violence—and we need to name it to reclaim our power.

What This Episode is Really About

In this episode, I introduce the term “cognitive violence”—a pattern I’ve witnessed in coaching spaces where mindset work is used to shame rather than support. I break down how thought-shaming can happen subtly, especially in coaching rooted in privileged perspectives that ignore systemic oppression and generational trauma.

We explore:

  • Why mindset “reframing” often skips over critical context for Black and Brown women.
  • How survival-based thoughts are not mindset blocks—they’re protection mechanisms.
  • What it means when your biology operates on rules written by oppression (what I call colonized biology).
  • Real-life examples of cognitive violence in action, and how to stop committing it against yourself.
  • The difference between changing your thoughts and feeling safe enough to believe them.
  • The importance of decoding your survival scripts before trying to rewrite them.

This conversation is a call to stop labeling our trauma responses as flaws—and start seeing them as wisdom. 🔥

Your Call to Action

Pattern break time → Ask yourself or a trusted friend:

  1. What’s a thought I’ve been shaming myself for having?
  2. When did I first learn it, and who taught me?
  3. What was that thought trying to protect me from?

Then write it down. Speak it aloud. Witness it.

And if you’re ready to go deeper—take the free Stress Survival Style Quiz to start decoding your own survival patterns.

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz

RESOURCES

KEYWORDS: mindset coaching, trauma-informed coaching, Black women healing, cognitive violence, mindset work, colonized biology, nervous system regulation, emotional safety, survival thoughts, generational trauma, uncoached coaching, thought shaming, inner command center, stress survival style, self-sabotage, coaching for Black women

Mark as Played

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.