"Family Death" Situational Question Guide, Framework, & Examples

Situational questions are a big part of boards, so make sure you have them down solid.

Here is your question.

“Your Soldier pulls you aside and mentions that their father just passed away. What are your steps?”

Now, let’s talk through how to answer this question using a 3-step proven method. This approach shows board members that you know how to think like a leader. The format is:

Step 1: Take care of the Soldier.

Step 2: Handle it at the lowest level possible.

Step 3: Use Army programs when applicable.

First, take care of the Soldier. This is not the time to think about paperwork or policy first. This is a human moment. Your Soldier is in grief. The most important thing is to show care, to listen, and to make sure the Soldier has the space and time to deal with their loss. Make sure they are not in immediate distress or danger. Be present. Help them get to a safe place mentally and emotionally. Do not rush this step. The Army's first priority is its people.

Second, handle it at the lowest level possible. This does not mean ignoring your leadership, but you should not immediately try to pass this up the chain. Your Soldier trusted you. They came to you. You should guide them through what happens next. Help them fill out a leave packet. Walk them through what they need for emergency leave. Contact your squad leader or platoon sergeant to keep them informed, but be the one who helps the Soldier through each step. Being a good leader means being there, not pawning the problem off to someone else.

Third, use Army programs when applicable. The Red Cross can verify the death and help process emergency leave quickly. Behavioral Health and the Chaplain are available to provide grief counseling and emotional support. Military OneSource can offer free confidential counseling as well. Knowing about these resources shows the board that you are prepared to help your Soldier in every way possible.

Now let me give you a word-for-word example answer you can say at the board:

“If my Soldier came to me and told me that their father just passed away, the first thing I would do is make sure the Soldier is okay. I would talk to them privately, give them space to process, and see if they are in any immediate distress. I would not start thinking about policies or programs until I knew they were emotionally stable and not in danger to themselves. Next, I would handle this at my level by helping them start an emergency leave packet, making sure they know what paperwork is needed, and walking them through the process step by step. I would also let my squad leader and platoon sergeant know so the Soldier can get the support they need from the entire team, but I would remain their first point of contact. I would reach out to the Red Cross to help verify the death and make sure the leave is processed quickly. I would also offer resources like the Chaplain, Behavioral Health, or Military OneSource to make sure the Soldier has someone to talk to during this hard time. My priority is to take care of the Soldier while helping them through the next steps.”

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the Board Questions podcast where you can study for
your board while working, running errands, or chilling
around the barracks. Today's episode is a situational
question episode. Situational questions are a big
part of boards, so make sure youhave them down solid.
Here is your question. Your soldier pulls you aside and

(00:22):
mentions that their father just passed away.
What are your steps? Now let's talk through how to
answer this question using a three-step proven method.
This approach shows board members that you know how to
think like a leader. The format is step one.
Take care of the soldier. Step 2.

(00:43):
Handle it at the lowest level possible.
Step 3. Use Army programs when
applicable. First, take care of the soldier.
This is not the time to think about paperwork or policy first.
This is a human moment. Your soldier is in grief.
The most important thing is to show care, to listen, and to

(01:06):
make sure the soldier has the space and time to deal with
their loss. Make sure they are not in
immediate distress or danger. Be present.
Help them get to a safe place mentally and emotionally.
Do not rush this step. The Army's first priority is its
people. Second, handle it at the lowest

(01:27):
level possible. This does not mean ignoring your
leadership, but you should not immediately try to pass this up
the chain. Your soldier trusted you.
They came to you. You should guide them through
what happens next. Help them fill out a leave
packet. Walk them through what they need
for emergency leave. Contact your squad leader or

(01:50):
platoon Sergeant to keep them informed, but be the one who
helps the soldier through each step.
Being a good leader means being there, not pawning the problem
off to someone else. Third, use Army programs when
applicable. The Red Cross can verify the
death and help process emergencyleave quickly.
Behavioral Health and the chaplain are available to

(02:13):
provide grief counseling and emotional support.
Military One Source can offer free confidential counseling as
well. Knowing about these resources
shows the board that you are prepared to help your soldier in
every way possible. Now let me give you a word for
word example answer you can say at the board.
If my soldier came to me and told me that their father just

(02:35):
passed away, the first thing I would do is make sure the
soldier is OK. I would talk to them privately,
give them space to process, and see if they are in any immediate
distress. I would not start thinking about
policies or programs until I knew they were emotionally
stable and not in danger to themselves.
Next, I would handle this at my level by helping them start an

(02:57):
emergency leave packet, making sure they know what paperwork is
needed, and walking them throughthe process step by step.
I would also let my squad leaderand platoon Sergeant know so the
Soldier can get the support theyneed from the entire team, but I
would remain their first point of contact.
I would reach out to the Red Cross to help verify the death
and make sure the leave is processed quickly.

(03:20):
I would also offer resources like the Chaplain, Behavioral
Health, or Military One Source to make sure the Soldier has
someone to talk to during this hard time.
My priority is to take care of the Soldier while helping them
through the next steps. As you can see, this answer
follows the framework of Take Care of the Soldier.

(03:41):
Handle it at the lowest level possible.
Utilize Army programs when applicable.
Let's try it again. This time the soldier answering
is going to miss something important.
Let's see what they miss. Your soldier pulls you aside and
mentions that their father just passed away.

(04:01):
What are your steps? If my soldier told me that their
father passed away, I would makesure they were OK and talk to
them to see how they were holding up.
I would give them space to grieve and help them get started
on an emergency leave packet. I would help them with the
paperwork and offer resources like the chaplain and behavioral
health. I would do everything I can to

(04:23):
support them through this process.
This answer is almost perfect. However, this future leader
forgot something. What did they miss?
They forgot to contact the Red Cross to help verify the death
and assist with processing emergency leave.
Verification is needed to approve emergency leave quickly.

(04:45):
They also did not mention keeping their squad leader or
platoon Sergeant informed, whichis an important part of handling
situations at the lowest level, but not in isolation.
Let's go over a correct answer again.
Your soldier pulls you aside andmentions that their father just
passed away. What are your steps?

(05:05):
If my soldier came to me and told me that their father just
passed away, the first thing I would do is make sure the
soldier is OK. I would talk to them privately,
give them space to process and see if they are in any immediate
distress. I would not start thinking about
policies or programs until I knew they were emotionally
stable and not in danger to themselves.

(05:27):
Next, I would handle this at my level by helping them start an
emergency leave packet, making sure they know what paperwork is
needed, and walking them throughthe process step by step.
I would also let my squad leaderand platoon Sergeant know so the
soldier can get the support theyneed from the entire team, but I
would remain their first point of contact.
I would reach out to the Red Cross to help verify the death

(05:50):
and make sure the leave is processed quickly.
I would also offer resources like the chaplain, behavioral
health, or Military One Source to make sure the Soldier has
someone to talk to during this hard time.
My priority is to take care of the Soldier while helping them
through the next steps. Let's hear that answer one more
time. If my Soldier came to me and

(06:12):
told me that their father just passed away, I would immediately
make sure they are emotionally safe and not in distress.
I would listen to them, give them space and offer support.
I would help them start an emergency leave packet, walk
them through the process, and let my squad leader and platoon
Sergeant know what's going on sowe can work together to support

(06:33):
the Soldier. I would contact the Red Cross to
assist with verification and help process the leave quickly.
I would also connect the Soldierwith the Chaplain, Behavioral
Health or Military One source sothey have professional support
during this time. My job is to take care of the
Soldier 1st and guide them through the process so they are
not alone. This answer fully covers the

(06:55):
correct steps, taking care of the Soldier, handling it at the
lowest level, and using Army programs when needed.
Thanks for listening to the Board Questions podcast.
These situational questions can be tough, but working through
them ahead of time will make youa stronger and more confident
leader. Please feel free to follow and
rate this podcast to help your battle buddies know what to do

(07:18):
when their Soldiers are going through hard times and to become
the leaders our Army needs.