June 10, 2025 • 38 mins
🎧 Episode Summary:
In this heartwarming and eye-opening episode of the Bold and Brilliant Podcast, host Tracie Root is joined by parenting expert and coach Elisabeth Stitt, founder of Joyful Parenting Coaching. With a lifetime devoted to children—from early babysitting gigs to years in the classroom—Elisabeth shares her powerful journey from passionate teacher to impactful parenting coach. Her story is a testament to following your calling, even when it means taking a bold leap into the unknown. Tune in to hear how one spontaneous decision changed the course of her career and her mission to bring peace to families—one household at a time.
✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
🔹 How Elisabeth’s lifelong connection to children shaped her career
🔹 Why she chose coaching over traditional therapy and teaching
🔹 The bold, pivotal moment that led her to leave a secure teaching career
🔹 How coaching parents can prevent burnout and restore joy in family life
🔹 The surprising power of thinking long-term in parenting—raising thriving adults, not just “good kids”
🛠️ Actionable Tips from Elisabeth Stitt:
- Parent with intention, not just reaction. Define your values and align your parenting approach accordingly.
- Create a family "master plan." Know the kind of adult you're raising, and reverse engineer the qualities you want them to have.
- Don’t wait for a crisis. Get proactive parenting support early—before things feel broken.
- Clarity comes from conversation. A no-pressure call with a coach can help parents see what’s possible and where support is needed.
- Invest in family transformation. Coaching isn't about fixing problems—it's about creating the joyful family life you really want.
🎤 Memorable Quote:
"It doesn't have to be that way. Parenting can be joyful—but only if we choose to be intentional and supported." – Elisabeth Stitt
🔥 Bold Moment of the Episode:
Elisabeth stood in the middle of her school office, holding a bright pink form asking if she would return to her teaching position. Without hesitation—and without consulting anyone—she checked “I’m leaving,” handed it in, and walked out. That spontaneous decision launched her decade-long career (and counting!) as a parenting coach.
📱 Connect with Elisabeth Stitt:
Visit JoyfulParentingCoaching.com to schedule a free Getting to Know You call, explore her resources, or inquire about private coaching.
🚀 Join the Bold and Brilliant Podcast Community:
We’re here for women who are ready to lead with courage, clarity, and conviction. Let’s grow bolder—and more brilliant—together.
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xoxo
Your host,
Tracie Root
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tracie (01:56):
Elisabeth, I am so excited to have you here on the
podcast.
Welcome.
Elisabeth (02:01):
Thank you.
Happy, happy,
Tracie (02:04):
happy, happy.
I know, you know, we spend a lotof time together.
We're very, I think we're bothvery lucky that way, and.
It's always a joy, right?
And it that really goes back tolike you are who you say you are
with joyful parenting, coaching,like being with you is a joy.
You are full of joy, you exudejoy.
(02:24):
And so I wanted to acknowledgeyou for that because I'm excited
to talk to you because it bringsme joy.
So thank you for that.
And I wish we could hug andtwirl, but today we're just
gonna hear be here on Zoom andlove each other from afar.
Elisabeth (02:40):
Okay
Tracie (02:40):
okay.
So.
Joyful parenting Coachingobviously is where you are now,
but we've been lots of places inour lives.
So tell us how you became thischild full of joy to become this
adult full of joy, to bring joyto others.
So, you know, where did youstart?
What did you do before coaching?
(03:02):
Give us a little bit of yourorigin story.
I know it can be extensive, so.
Elisabeth (03:10):
I've been super, super, super lucky about is that
I have always been focused onchildren, and my mother tells
the stories of, you know, mytender, tender care of my baby
dolls, and when.
As soon as at Sunday school, assoon as we were old enough to
(03:32):
walk to Sunday school classourselves, instead of being
brought there by an adult, Iwould walk right by my Sunday
school class and go on to thenursery and hang out with the
two year olds.
And for whatever reason, theparents who were in charge of
the nursery never sent me to mySunday school class.
Tracie (03:52):
They probably loved having your support with the
babies.
Elisabeth (03:55):
They probably did.
They probably did.
And so, you know, even from thetime that I was hardly, you
know, more than a baby myself, Iwas engaging with kids who were
younger than I, I had no friendsin elementary school.
Second grade I would spend myrecesses in the kindergarten
(04:16):
helping to support thekindergartners.
And by fourth grade I was amother's helper.
She was an artist, stay at homeartist whose studio was right
off the kitchen.
So my number one mission was tokeep the kids happy enough so
that they didn't go and bang onher door.
(04:37):
And I got very good at that.
And then I became her regularbabysitter.
She was part of a co-op and youknow, so by sixth grade I was
babysitting for her every weekand then for all kinds of
families all over the place.
And
Tracie (04:52):
you're kind of your own personal babysitters club
starting with one.
Elisabeth (04:55):
I was kind of my own personal babysitters club.
Yes.
And it's funny because I'mtrying to remember how did
strangers find me?
In those days, but they did.
And so, you know, I would go allover town and babysit and in
high school I had a job as.
There was a girl with downsyndromes and she just needed
(05:19):
extra support and practice inher physicality
Tracie (05:23):
mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (05:23):
In, in using her body.
And so we would go and we wouldplay and we would balance beam
on, you know, things, on edgesof things and we would practice
with balls and, you know, again,just interacting with her in a
way that was positive.
In ninth grade when we all.
(05:44):
Had to write research papers andwe were learning how to write
them so we could write them onwhatever we wrote.
I wrote how to be an EffectiveParent, and I so wish that I
still had that, that paperbecause I did too.
I could imagine how officious Iwas at 14, how to be an
(06:04):
effective parent.
Tracie (06:05):
I wonder if your English teacher, if it was English class
if your teacher was a parent.
Elisabeth (06:11):
Mm.
My English teacher, Lee Clemenswas in my ballet class, and he
wa he, he was gay.
He was not a parent.
And but so we had a, we had avery.
Talky relationship because wewould talk at ballet as well as
as as talk in class.
You know, and on the one hand Ithink, well, who did, I think I
(06:33):
was to write a paper on how tobe an effective parent.
And on the other hand, when wethink about Gladstone's, 50,000
hours.
10,000 hours, right?
And we think, well, you know, bythe time I got to ninth grade, I
hadn't spent 10,000 hours, butI'd spent a lot of hours.
Tracie (06:49):
Mm-hmm.
And the majority of your hours,right?
Elisabeth (06:53):
Yeah.
Tracie (06:53):
Percentage wise of the hours that you had existed.
Well, a lot of my,
Elisabeth (06:58):
it's definitely a lot of my free time hours.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I started as a camp counselorthe summer after I graduated
from high school and.
Was a camp counselor for sixsummers.
I did not go to Wheaton Collegein Massachusetts with the
intention of being a teacher.
I signed up for Psycho 1 0 1.
(07:20):
I thought maybe I'd be acounselor or a therapist of some
kind.
Mm-hmm.
An education teacher spoke atfreshman orientation, and she
was so riveting and so dynamicthat even though she was
speaking about women's role inhistory and not anything about
education, I was like, I have totake a class with her.
(07:41):
And so I went to the register'soffice and I dropped Psych 1 0 1
and I took the first educationclass and that was really it.
That was, that was sort of anatural path and,
Tracie (07:50):
I think it's interesting that you had spent all of this
time and had written about howto be, well, I guess, an
effective parent.
You weren't really thinkingteaching, you were thinking
parenting even at a young age,but that you didn't make that
initial connection, thatteaching would be the way to go
so that you could continue tospend time with as many kids as
(08:12):
possible.
Elisabeth (08:13):
Well, you know, my guess is that.
I probably thought that teachingwas more about the curriculum
than necessarily the kids.
Yeah.
And in fact, when I leftteaching, one of the reasons I
left teaching was because I was.
Bored with teaching commasplices and how to correct them.
Tracie (08:33):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (08:34):
And really I was more and more focused on interacting
with, in this case, middleschoolers and saying, you know,
who are you?
How can we apply the literaturethat we're reading?
How can we use the literature weare reading to ask the question,
who am I?
Who do I wanna be?
Tracie (08:53):
Hmm.
Elisabeth (08:53):
You know, do I wanna be Atticus Finch?
Do I wanna be.
You know, the good, the bad, theugly.
Tracie (08:59):
Yeah.
I love that.
I love that.
You know, my kids are teenagers,older teenagers now, as you well
know, but other people might notknow this.
And I think about when they werein middle school and the things
that they were reading andreading the outsiders and
reading, like all of thesereally standard, every middle
schooler goes through kind ofthese, this list of books.
Although my oldest was such aprolific reader, I think he read
(09:23):
the whole library.
At that age.
So the I love that perspectivefrom the teacher and it kind of
show what it's showing me isthat, yeah, you went into
education, but that desire toreally get to know the kids and
support the kids as humans neverleft from when you thought you
wanted to be a counselor.
(09:43):
Yes.
Right.
Like you did have that kind ofcounseling ilk, is that the
right word?
I don't know.
Even though you ended up.
Yes, exactly.
And I'm surprised that thecurriculum ultimately was the
thing that kind of got the, gotto be the boring part, that
you're doing the same thing overand over and while the kids are
different, that was always thesame.
(10:04):
So,
Elisabeth (10:05):
and the, the last three years I was teaching we
had a job on campus called theOutreach Teacher, which was half
funded by the school districtand half funded.
It wasn't even a full-timedodge, it was half funded by the
school district, half funded bythe parent club.
Mm-hmm.
It was essentially being schoolcounselor and when the woman who
(10:28):
had been doing the job for yearsdecided to retire, you know, I
was like, oh, okay.
So I was like, I've gotta talkto my principal and I.
Thought, you know, I walked outat recess and I up to her, she's
I have to talk to you.
She says, I have to talk to you,and we turn to each other.
I'm like, I want that job.
She's like, you, you need the,you know, you're the person for
that job.
Tracie (10:48):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (10:49):
And so it was just one of those, you know, all the
work that I had been doing, sortof auxiliaries of the classroom.
I had created the charactereducation program.
I had created a study skillsprogram.
I had created a.
Sort of, I was, I, we'd startedthe Happiness Club.
I was the advisor to the junioroptimists whose mission was to
(11:12):
improve the lives of children inSan Mateo County.
Love it.
And so, you know, all thesepieces were there and they were
lined up and they were comingtogether.
And I did anticipate, or I didthink, I had thought kind of for
a long time that I would wannago back and do an MFT.
Tracie (11:28):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (11:28):
And when I actually looked at the nitty gritty of
how much work it would be.
And ironically because I didn'teven take Psych 1 0 1, I
would've had a lot of extrapsych classes that I had to take
to even get up.
Tracie (11:40):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (11:41):
You know, to the next level.
And then the real killer is, inCalifornia at least, it's 3000
supervised hours before you cango off and do something
yourself.
And so I was really.
Like a little bit in a slump,and I'm like, what am I gonna
do?
I don't know about this.
And then my sister invited me ona women's retreat who was run by
(12:01):
a life coach.
I'd never heard of a life coach.
Tracie (12:06):
When was this?
Do you remember?
Elisabeth (12:07):
This was like 20 mm, I dunno.
20 12, 20 13.
Something in there.
And she said the golden words,which is that.
Coaching in the United States isunregulated.
Right.
You could be a coach of anythingif people will pay you for it.
Tracie (12:28):
Right.
Elisabeth (12:28):
And that was just like a big click moment of like,
oh, I could do the work that Iwanna do without Right.
Tracie (12:40):
Spending three years in education there.
Elisabeth (12:43):
Right, right.
And I knew that I, I, I didn'twanna do deep psychological
work.
Tracie (12:50):
Right.
Elisabeth (12:51):
I'm a very like nuts and bolt grounded, practical
kind of person.
And what I was seeing in theparents of my students was that
they no longer had those kindsof nuts and bolts parenting
skills and they didn't need deeppsychological counseling.
I mean, some might.
(13:11):
Yeah, of course, but you know, alot of them just needed.
The education and the supportand the guidance, and the
accountability that, you know,generations prior parents may be
got by sitting down with coffeewith a girlfriend and sharing or
(13:31):
standing around at a barbecue onSaturday night when we weren't
slumped on our couches watchingNetflix.
Tracie (13:37):
Well, and this, so we've already kind of turned this
corner, so I'm gonna interruptyou just to say, you know, the
thing that I want all of our,our guests here on the podcast
to talk about is the bolddecision that they made that
changed everything for them.
We've already kind of gottenthere by talking about coaching
versus being a therapist versusteaching and all of these
(14:00):
things.
And so.
And, and I don't know that Iremember hearing the whole thing
about that.
I wanna say it's the, I don'tremember the name.
The resource teacher.
Elisabeth (14:12):
Oh, being a resource teacher.
Tracie (14:13):
Yeah.
Which honestly, my youngest wentto the resource teacher at his
school every week for a year anda half.
And it was life changing forhim.
Very, very supportive.
So I'm really glad that you didthat.
'cause I can see you in thatrole, like based on his
experience.
And so the, the change fromdeciding to leave teaching that
(14:35):
was, it was more natural than Ihad anticipated before because
you went from being a classroomteacher to a different kind of
teacher and then leavingteaching generally.
So that makes a lot more senseto me now than in, than in any
of our previous conversations.
So thank you.
Elisabeth (14:54):
Yeah, it definitely.
Gave me some practice.
So Right, the difference betweenbeing a classroom teacher where
mostly you're interacting withparents on a parent student
teacher conference and you'regoing boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, because the next person isalready standing outside the
door.
Yep.
Right.
You've been the parent wantingto talk still, but feeling the
(15:14):
pressure.
Yep.
But our time is up and so wecan't have very, you know,
deeper, complex conversations.
And it was.
One of the purposes of this jobwas to not have a lot on the
list of what was I having to doso that I might just be sitting
(15:36):
in my office with an emptyoffice when a parent walked in,
so that the office manager couldsay, no, the principal isn't
available.
Why don't you check and see ifMrs.
Stitt is in her office?
And then if I was, they couldcome in.
And so for the first time.
I was doing that coaching piecereally without even knowing, you
know, what I was doing.
(15:57):
Because, you know, you wouldcome in and everybody comes in
with a, like a little tip of theiceberg of the school problem.
Like, oh, it's a school issue,this is why I'm here.
Mm.
And it wasn't my job really tosolve problems.
It was really my job to justsay, well, okay, Tracy, tell me
more about that and what else isgoing on and what else, and
(16:19):
what's going on at home and howabout the other activities and
what you know.
And so bit by bit, question byquestion, getting more of the
base of the iceberg.
Tracie (16:33):
Yeah.
Well, and I love that, that thatworked.
The thing that comes to my mindis like they come in to talk to
the principal because it's aschool problem, but ultimately
it literally has nothing to dowith the principal.
That's the figurehead of theorganization at large, of the,
the facility.
Right.
(16:53):
But really what they needed wasto talk to you, to someone who
had some inkling of what wasactually happening from a
behavior standpoint, from anexperience standpoint out in the
school where the principal has avery different job to manage the
school, not necessarily thekids.
I mean, they, they're, you know,I'm not trying to.
(17:14):
To negate their effectivenesswith the kids.
Elisabeth (17:17):
Principals are wonderful and they wear so many
hats.
Yeah.
They don't ever have 45 minutesto just sort of say, you know,
tell me more.
Tracie (17:27):
Well, and as the top of a large organization, a lot, you
know, you have certain jobs thatare yours and certain jobs that
are delegated, just like anycompany, you know, it's a
division of a company.
Right.
So the principal has to be like,okay, well this.
Thing is something that isimportant for me to spend a lot
of time on or a little time on.
(17:48):
And this other person reallycould be more effective.
Exactly.
And that's where you were, is tobe the effective one.
And they needed you anywayultimately instead of the
principal.
Right?
Yeah.
But there still was a bigmoment.
It still was a leap.
Yeah.
So talk about like deciding theleap from from classroom to the
resource teacher, but then youdecided.
(18:10):
To start coaching and literallyleave the school, which just
like from an environment a dayto day I'm working for myself.
Talk about that decision.
Well, and first of all, Tracy,
Elisabeth (18:23):
I have to say that, yeah, I was doing the resource
teaching job.
I was still part-time in theclassroom.
I was doing two sections a dayin the classroom at this perfect
school.
Academic magnet school, great.
Super involved, quirky kids,lots of flexibility about what
we're, what we're teaching andhow we're teaching.
(18:43):
This was a perfect job and I.
You know, I probably could havejust stayed the other 10 years
and then I would be retiring atabout now from teaching and, you
know, having put in the, the,the years, the full, full
retirement years in the schooldistrict.
So it's not like I, you know,people are going like, oh, my
(19:08):
JOBI can't stand it.
Right?
No, like I really did love myjob and with the resource piece
I was getting enough.
Other stuff that wasn't commasplices that I think I could
have come through the 10 yearswith enough passion and energy
(19:30):
and commitment to show up for mykids every day as if it were my
first year teaching.
Tracie (19:35):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (19:36):
But with all the experience and wisdom.
That you came and all thoseyears?
Tracie (19:40):
Well, because we've all, as parents, a lot of us have
experienced the teacher who,like they aren't happy anymore
and they weren't, haven't beenhappy for years.
Yes.
And why are they still here?
And you could have not had thatissue.
Elisabeth (19:53):
I could have not had that issue.
And I was also very clear.
I had made a promise to myself.
It, it is unfair.
It is unfair to your students.
Mm-hmm.
It's one thing to beinexperienced.
You can't help that, and theonly thing you can do is to get,
teach more and get moreexperience.
Right.
It's, you know, you are not the,the full teacher when you're in
(20:15):
your first couple years ofteaching that you're gonna be
later.
There's no doubt about that.
But to not bow out and to stepaway when you are not showing up
a hundred percent.
Yeah.
That to me is, is I get it froma financial point of view.
It's too bad that the system'skind of like that, but to me it
(20:38):
really is, is unconscionable.
And I just promised myself thatI would never do it.
Tracie (20:43):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (20:44):
I wasn't there though.
So it was still more like havinglistened to these parents as the
outreach teacher and hearinglike levels of.
Overwhelm and anxiety and guilt.
Oh my gosh.
The levels of guilt that parentswere feeling.
And I kept thinking, oh mygoodness.
(21:06):
Parenting is always gonna bedemanding and it's always gonna
be complex because we're dealingwith human beings and
personalities and differentpieces.
But I was just observing so manyparents experiencing it as like.
Sucking all the joy out of life.
Tracie (21:25):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (21:27):
And I just kept thinking it didn't have to be
that way.
It didn't have to be that way,but I still wasn't like, okay,
I'm gonna stop the school yearand I'm gonna go and I'm, and
I'm gonna go do this.
Yeah.
The stars kind of aligned inthat I had had a particularly.
Intent session with a parent.
(21:48):
And then I walked to my box inthe office and every year the
teachers get a neon pink formthat says, do you wanna return
to your same position, your sameschool, in a different position,
a different school, or are youleaving?
(22:09):
And I just stood in the middleof the swirl of the office.
Pushing me aside, and I'm handholding this paper and I'm just
riveted to this paper.
And it just all flashed in amoment.
And I grabbed the nearest penand I checked the, I'm leaving
(22:29):
box and I signed my name and Ihanded it to the office manager
and it was like, here, takethis.
And I walked out of the room andI'm like, wow, what have I just
done?
I had already taken the firstweekend I, I got my coaches
(22:50):
training was through CoachesTraining Institute in San
Rafael, and I had already donetheir first three day weekend
and this was the sign to me togo sign up for the rest of their
weekends and, and which, so Itook I think two more within
before the end of the schoolyear.
And which meant I'd had to take,they were three day weekends, so
(23:10):
I had to take a Friday off,which was a big deal because I'm
not the kind of teacher who tookdays off.
Yeah.
And so that in itself felt like,you know, you feel like who's,
who's gonna be judging me?
Who's gonna be looking at me?
Like, who's, who am I lettingdown?
I mean, that brought up a wholehost of feelings.
(23:32):
Uh, but the school year endedand then.
I had done it.
I had given up my tenureteaching job.
Tracie (23:40):
Wild.
I love that the, yourdescription of holding that
paper with the swirling officelike that feels like a movie
scene to me.
I can totally picture it.
Wild.
Wild.
And that whoever it was that youhanded, that slip too must have
been like.
Wait, you checked the wrong.
(24:01):
Oh, she was too
Elisabeth (24:01):
busy.
She didn't look at it rightaway, I'm sure.
Oh, that's totally true.
Tracie (24:04):
Yes.
I'm sure that that's true.
But like in the movie, that'swhat would've happened.
That's what would've happened inthe movie.
Elisabeth (24:09):
Yeah, exactly.
'cause it would've been aboutyou because he would've been the
main character.
I didn't ask my husband.
I didn't even, you know, Ihadn't even really talked to him
about this.
Tracie (24:20):
Wow.
Elisabeth (24:20):
You know, I mean, over the, the, the previous
years.
I had kind of been doing myresearch and it was more like
when I was deciding, no, thatwas more when I had kind of said
to him like, yeah, you know, Ikind of looked into that.
I thought that wouldn't work,and dah, dah, dah, dah.
And, and then, you know, yeah.
Like, no, I didn't even asklike, are you okay with me
(24:41):
giving up my steady income?
And somehow, how did that go athome?
Oh, I mean, he's just, it's awhole other story.
He's an entrepreneur himselfand, and he's so.
Okay, great.
You know, like you go do whatyou wanna do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's, he is, he's a Sagittarius.
He's a freedom lovingSagittarius.
(25:03):
And so the idea that you would,first of all, the idea that you
would work the same tenured jobfor 25 years, I think to him was
the bigger mystery.
And so the idea that you wouldjust say, okay, I'm gonna go do
this, was much more in line withhim.
Yeah.
But you know, even I.
(25:24):
Even when things have gottentough, Tracy, and you know,
there's nothing about classroomteaching and working in a school
that teaches you anything aboutrunning a business yourself.
Nothing.
So there were no skills totransfer there.
Coaches training Institute atthat time didn't do any of the
(25:45):
business end of things.
I'm not sure if they've changeda little bit, but.
They would have maybe 20 minuteconversations at the end of a
session about, you know, how doyou get clients?
Not helpful.
So I was really well trained asa coach and obviously all of the
experience that I'd had alreadymade that feel very natural and
(26:06):
very easy.
But yeah, business has, has beenblah, blah, blah, blah.
Tracie (26:12):
Yeah.
I mean, the good thing aboutbeing a coach is that the
coaching is what we signed onfor.
So when you get to help thepeople, everything starts to
feel good again.
Yes.
Yeah, of course.
We've got to work through ourchallenges on the business side
of thing, and they're alwaysgoing to be there, but I.
Talk a little bit about, youknow, I know that you work with
(26:34):
a lot of parents one-on-one,that you do webinars, that you
do summits.
You had one recently.
You know, all of those kinds ofspeaking to larger groups.
But a lot of your work isone-on-one because every family
and every situation isdifferent.
So talk a little bit about whatsomeone could expect if they
(26:55):
were to talk to you abouthelping them with their family
situation.
Elisabeth (27:00):
Sure, thank you for asking.
We start with a getting to knowyou call and that's really what
it is.
I don't do any coaching on thatcall.
It's just an opportunity for youto paint the picture of what is
parenting feeling like right nowin your home and what are you
wanting it to be.
Tracie (27:20):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (27:20):
And if I feel I can be of service, then I, you know,
ask parents permission to sharehow do I work with them and.
If I don't feel I can be ofservice, I say to me it's
sounding like this is the kindof professional you need.
And if they are, you know,somewhere in my circle and I can
(27:43):
give them resources, I give themresources of a concrete nature.
And if it's more, this is thekind of professional you need to
be looking for.
Sometimes that's.
Tracie (27:53):
Yeah, that's, and so what came to my mind was, you
know that because you're not,'cause you're not a therapist
'cause you didn't do the MFTsituation.
You know, a lot of times peoplewill come to therapy when
there's a problem versus whatI'm hearing you say is maybe
parents are saying, you know,it's not great.
(28:14):
And I'd like things to, to turna corner in this direction.
It's not like it's a problem,one problem necessarily, and
maybe it is, but in a generalsense, like it's just not going
the way that I thought it would.
I would want it to go, or, youknow, maybe it
Elisabeth (28:31):
should go well, I, I do have to say my most favorite
clients are my proactive ones.
Tracie (28:37):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (28:37):
And those are the people who are, I had a, I had a
client who had a 16 month oldand they realized they were
coming up to the terrible twosand they were thinking, you
know, I mean, we used to saythere's no manual.
Unfortunately there are.
Way too many manuals now.
And so, right, that's part ofthe overwhelm, right?
(28:58):
Part of the overwhelm is thatyou sit down to answer a
seemingly simple question andyou get 18 different opinions
that all seem to be expressed inlanguage that says, if you don't
do this, you're gonna ruin yourkid forever.
And so instead of saying oh,that's empowering'cause I have
information, now I have moreoverwhelm and, and to do it.
(29:21):
And so.
The biggest part of coaching forme then is to get all the puzzle
pieces on the table.
That's a big part of it becausefamilies are unique and all the
different personalities areunique.
And then alongside that, Ireally want to know what are,
what are the values that parentsare operating under?
(29:45):
And that's where we begin tofind a match, right?
That's where we begin to say,I'm going to connect these.
Values with these parentingapproaches.
Mm-hmm.
So I don't put myself, I don'tcall myself a gentle parent, a
conscious parent even a positiveparent because I really want to
(30:10):
start with the parents that Ihave in front of me and who they
are and where they are,
Tracie (30:15):
and
Elisabeth (30:16):
what's important to them.
What's important to them.
And what's gonna work for them?
So most parents sign up for mythree month coaching package.
It's 10 sessions.
Over those 10 sessions.
We do a lot of immediate problemsolving in the beginning.
Well, we do values work first,then a lot of immediate, like
where, where are the, the, thethrobs pain points.
(30:39):
And then things usually begin toget better and.
That's when we can begin to godeeper in what's your master
plan?
Well, who, who's the adultyou're raising?
Who do you want at 21?
Mm-hmm.
What are the qualities andcharacteristics that you would
like to have a boss brag to youabout?
(31:00):
We love, you know, oh man, if Ihad 10 Rios Rios, we would be
off and running because theseare the qualities that Reus
shows up with, and.
Then you back plan and you say,great, how am I for training and
nurturing and focusing on thosequalities?
(31:22):
Yeah.
As I raise my kids.
So at the end of 10 weeks, Idon't just want the immediate
problems plan solved, I want youto have your master plan.
Tracie (31:32):
Yeah, I love that.
And you know, I feel veryfortunate that I found coaching
when my kids were young and itchanged a lot of my thought
processes.
In raising them since I was asolo parent by then to to know
that ultimately the goal was tohelp them to thrive.
Right.
It wasn't to help them succeed.
(31:54):
It was to help them to thrive.
Yeah.
And a lot of people don't havethat perspective.
I know I didn't have it beforefinding coaching for myself, and
so I love the idea, like I canjust keep imagining myself had I
never.
Lost my husband, had I neverbeen a coach.
And being that kind of corporatequeen that I was on the road to
(32:17):
becoming and thinking verydifferently than the way that I
think today.
And how that would have shapedthe kids and how they grew up
and yeah, experiences that Iwould've given them or not given
them as a result and everything.
So, if a parent is open to that.
Without having the experience ofhaving a coach, I hope that they
(32:41):
can hear this and know that,that that's the benefit, is the,
the sitting down and, and likereally thinking about what it is
that you're trying to do asopposed to the things that you
have been told you should do.
'Cause it can be, yeah,
Elisabeth (32:58):
and, and there's all the shoulds.
That's a piece of it.
And honestly, a big piece of itis just that.
A lot of times we're runningaround like chickens with our
heads cut off.
Yep.
And we're parenting by the seatof our pants.
Tracie (33:11):
Absolutely.
And it's understandable without,without having that like
strategy underneath it, you'rejust living day to day.
Yes, yes.
You know, we don't need 20 yearsof survival mode for these kids.
Please
Elisabeth (33:22):
help me get through bedtime.
Please help me get to Friday.
Please help me get to summer.
Yes.
And you
Tracie (33:29):
know.
That's really too bad.
It's a, it's really unfortunate.
And, and it doesn't, and that'sthe thing is it doesn't have to
be that way.
People don't recognize that itcan be different until maybe,
until something goes wrong ormaybe until they just all of a
sudden have been opened up to anew way of thinking about it.
(33:52):
And they, someone mentions.
The work that you do, or someonementions how something has
changed for them and thereforethey're like, oh, I never even
thought that that could bedifferent.
Let me think that for myself.
So it's, it's
Elisabeth (34:07):
what a gift and it's, I mean, it's an investment in
time and money for sure.
And yet it's like, you knowwhat, what?
But it's our kids.
It's worth it.
What doesn't get put on yourgravestone?
Right.
You are never going to say.
That, I'm sorry.
I spent time.
I didn't, you know, that time wespent with Elisabeth really
wasn't, wasn't worthwhile,right?
(34:27):
And I do have a really goodguarantee.
I say that if at the end ofshowing up for making the
appointment, showing up for theappointment, doing the homework
at the end of three sessions,I'm not your person.
You're not feeling it.
I refund the whole package.
Very generous.
And the reason that I give thatguarantee is because if it's not
(34:50):
a good fit, you are not gonna dothe work.
Yep.
And if you're not doing thework, then you are not
fulfilling my mission, which isto transform families and to
bring peace to the world, onefamily at a time.
So I wanna release you and Iwant you to go find whoever your
person is.
Yep.
(35:11):
In 10 years, it's been twopeople.
And in both those cases therewas one spouse who was really
heels dug in Yeah.
About not wanting to do thework.
Tracie (35:26):
Yeah.
Which makes total sense.
'cause you know it,'cause it is,you have to be vulnerable as a
parent to take the informationand to take it not as criticism
Yeah.
But as an opportunity for.
And, and all of the good things.
Yeah.
(35:47):
Well, my friend, I know that wecould just keep talking for a
whole other hour, but, but thatjust means we're gonna have to
do another episode sometime inthe future because you know,
what I really want parents tohear from, from hearing you
today, in this episode today isthat they, that there is,
(36:07):
there's hope, I guess would beone thing, but really it's, you
know, it's, it's.
I want the parents to know thatthey can create what they want
with their family, but I alsojust want people to know women
who are listening entrepreneurs,to know leaders, that taking the
leap towards something that youknow is what you like, you're
(36:30):
meant.
To be doing be, even if you'vebeen doing something different
and it's been a long time andit's how do you give up the
income and the this, and how doyou make the change that making
the change is worth it.
Elisabeth (36:41):
Yes.
Tracie (36:44):
Even though you know how to be an entrepreneur here,
you're 10 years later stillhelping parents, one family at a
time.
Elisabeth (36:50):
That's right.
And statistically not that manynew businesses last 10 years.
Tracie (36:54):
Absolutely
Elisabeth (36:55):
right.
And so, you know, it does.
What it says is that even whenthings get rocky and get hard,
then you have that coachingsession which lights you on fire
and reminds you of.
The impact that you're having onthe world and the difference
that you're making in the world.
Mm-hmm.
And that's what gets you backto, okay, it's fine.
(37:16):
It's gonna work itself out.
Yep.
Tracie (37:19):
I love it.
Well, I hope that if people arein a place where this is helpful
to them and the work that you dois helpful to them, that they
will reach out.
We'll put all of your info andeverything of course, in the
show notes.
I just wanna thank you for yourtime today.
It's always a gift to get totalk to you.
I feel like my cup is awfultoday with your joyfulness, and
(37:43):
I wanna thank you for being onthe podcast.
I love you so much.
We'll talk soon.
Elisabeth, I am so excited to have you here on the
podcast.
Welcome.
Elisabeth (02:01):
Thank you.
Happy, happy,
Tracie (02:04):
happy, happy.
I know, you know, we spend a lotof time together.
We're very, I think we're bothvery lucky that way, and.
It's always a joy, right?
And it that really goes back tolike you are who you say you are
with joyful parenting, coaching,like being with you is a joy.
You are full of joy, you exudejoy.
(02:24):
And so I wanted to acknowledgeyou for that because I'm excited
to talk to you because it bringsme joy.
So thank you for that.
And I wish we could hug andtwirl, but today we're just
gonna hear be here on Zoom andlove each other from afar.
Elisabeth (02:40):
Okay
Tracie (02:40):
okay.
So.
Joyful parenting Coachingobviously is where you are now,
but we've been lots of places inour lives.
So tell us how you became thischild full of joy to become this
adult full of joy, to bring joyto others.
So, you know, where did youstart?
What did you do before coaching?
(03:02):
Give us a little bit of yourorigin story.
I know it can be extensive, so.
Elisabeth (03:10):
I've been super, super, super lucky about is that
I have always been focused onchildren, and my mother tells
the stories of, you know, mytender, tender care of my baby
dolls, and when.
As soon as at Sunday school, assoon as we were old enough to
(03:32):
walk to Sunday school classourselves, instead of being
brought there by an adult, Iwould walk right by my Sunday
school class and go on to thenursery and hang out with the
two year olds.
And for whatever reason, theparents who were in charge of
the nursery never sent me to mySunday school class.
Tracie (03:52):
They probably loved having your support with the
babies.
Elisabeth (03:55):
They probably did.
They probably did.
And so, you know, even from thetime that I was hardly, you
know, more than a baby myself, Iwas engaging with kids who were
younger than I, I had no friendsin elementary school.
Second grade I would spend myrecesses in the kindergarten
(04:16):
helping to support thekindergartners.
And by fourth grade I was amother's helper.
She was an artist, stay at homeartist whose studio was right
off the kitchen.
So my number one mission was tokeep the kids happy enough so
that they didn't go and bang onher door.
(04:37):
And I got very good at that.
And then I became her regularbabysitter.
She was part of a co-op and youknow, so by sixth grade I was
babysitting for her every weekand then for all kinds of
families all over the place.
And
Tracie (04:52):
you're kind of your own personal babysitters club
starting with one.
Elisabeth (04:55):
I was kind of my own personal babysitters club.
Yes.
And it's funny because I'mtrying to remember how did
strangers find me?
In those days, but they did.
And so, you know, I would go allover town and babysit and in
high school I had a job as.
There was a girl with downsyndromes and she just needed
(05:19):
extra support and practice inher physicality
Tracie (05:23):
mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (05:23):
In, in using her body.
And so we would go and we wouldplay and we would balance beam
on, you know, things, on edgesof things and we would practice
with balls and, you know, again,just interacting with her in a
way that was positive.
In ninth grade when we all.
(05:44):
Had to write research papers andwe were learning how to write
them so we could write them onwhatever we wrote.
I wrote how to be an EffectiveParent, and I so wish that I
still had that, that paperbecause I did too.
I could imagine how officious Iwas at 14, how to be an
(06:04):
effective parent.
Tracie (06:05):
I wonder if your English teacher, if it was English class
if your teacher was a parent.
Elisabeth (06:11):
Mm.
My English teacher, Lee Clemenswas in my ballet class, and he
wa he, he was gay.
He was not a parent.
And but so we had a, we had avery.
Talky relationship because wewould talk at ballet as well as
as as talk in class.
You know, and on the one hand Ithink, well, who did, I think I
(06:33):
was to write a paper on how tobe an effective parent.
And on the other hand, when wethink about Gladstone's, 50,000
hours.
10,000 hours, right?
And we think, well, you know, bythe time I got to ninth grade, I
hadn't spent 10,000 hours, butI'd spent a lot of hours.
Tracie (06:49):
Mm-hmm.
And the majority of your hours,right?
Elisabeth (06:53):
Yeah.
Tracie (06:53):
Percentage wise of the hours that you had existed.
Well, a lot of my,
Elisabeth (06:58):
it's definitely a lot of my free time hours.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I started as a camp counselorthe summer after I graduated
from high school and.
Was a camp counselor for sixsummers.
I did not go to Wheaton Collegein Massachusetts with the
intention of being a teacher.
I signed up for Psycho 1 0 1.
(07:20):
I thought maybe I'd be acounselor or a therapist of some
kind.
Mm-hmm.
An education teacher spoke atfreshman orientation, and she
was so riveting and so dynamicthat even though she was
speaking about women's role inhistory and not anything about
education, I was like, I have totake a class with her.
(07:41):
And so I went to the register'soffice and I dropped Psych 1 0 1
and I took the first educationclass and that was really it.
That was, that was sort of anatural path and,
Tracie (07:50):
I think it's interesting that you had spent all of this
time and had written about howto be, well, I guess, an
effective parent.
You weren't really thinkingteaching, you were thinking
parenting even at a young age,but that you didn't make that
initial connection, thatteaching would be the way to go
so that you could continue tospend time with as many kids as
(08:12):
possible.
Elisabeth (08:13):
Well, you know, my guess is that.
I probably thought that teachingwas more about the curriculum
than necessarily the kids.
Yeah.
And in fact, when I leftteaching, one of the reasons I
left teaching was because I was.
Bored with teaching commasplices and how to correct them.
Tracie (08:33):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (08:34):
And really I was more and more focused on interacting
with, in this case, middleschoolers and saying, you know,
who are you?
How can we apply the literaturethat we're reading?
How can we use the literature weare reading to ask the question,
who am I?
Who do I wanna be?
Tracie (08:53):
Hmm.
Elisabeth (08:53):
You know, do I wanna be Atticus Finch?
Do I wanna be.
You know, the good, the bad, theugly.
Tracie (08:59):
Yeah.
I love that.
I love that.
You know, my kids are teenagers,older teenagers now, as you well
know, but other people might notknow this.
And I think about when they werein middle school and the things
that they were reading andreading the outsiders and
reading, like all of thesereally standard, every middle
schooler goes through kind ofthese, this list of books.
Although my oldest was such aprolific reader, I think he read
(09:23):
the whole library.
At that age.
So the I love that perspectivefrom the teacher and it kind of
show what it's showing me isthat, yeah, you went into
education, but that desire toreally get to know the kids and
support the kids as humans neverleft from when you thought you
wanted to be a counselor.
(09:43):
Yes.
Right.
Like you did have that kind ofcounseling ilk, is that the
right word?
I don't know.
Even though you ended up.
Yes, exactly.
And I'm surprised that thecurriculum ultimately was the
thing that kind of got the, gotto be the boring part, that
you're doing the same thing overand over and while the kids are
different, that was always thesame.
(10:04):
So,
Elisabeth (10:05):
and the, the last three years I was teaching we
had a job on campus called theOutreach Teacher, which was half
funded by the school districtand half funded.
It wasn't even a full-timedodge, it was half funded by the
school district, half funded bythe parent club.
Mm-hmm.
It was essentially being schoolcounselor and when the woman who
(10:28):
had been doing the job for yearsdecided to retire, you know, I
was like, oh, okay.
So I was like, I've gotta talkto my principal and I.
Thought, you know, I walked outat recess and I up to her, she's
I have to talk to you.
She says, I have to talk to you,and we turn to each other.
I'm like, I want that job.
She's like, you, you need the,you know, you're the person for
that job.
Tracie (10:48):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (10:49):
And so it was just one of those, you know, all the
work that I had been doing, sortof auxiliaries of the classroom.
I had created the charactereducation program.
I had created a study skillsprogram.
I had created a.
Sort of, I was, I, we'd startedthe Happiness Club.
I was the advisor to the junioroptimists whose mission was to
(11:12):
improve the lives of children inSan Mateo County.
Love it.
And so, you know, all thesepieces were there and they were
lined up and they were comingtogether.
And I did anticipate, or I didthink, I had thought kind of for
a long time that I would wannago back and do an MFT.
Tracie (11:28):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (11:28):
And when I actually looked at the nitty gritty of
how much work it would be.
And ironically because I didn'teven take Psych 1 0 1, I
would've had a lot of extrapsych classes that I had to take
to even get up.
Tracie (11:40):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (11:41):
You know, to the next level.
And then the real killer is, inCalifornia at least, it's 3000
supervised hours before you cango off and do something
yourself.
And so I was really.
Like a little bit in a slump,and I'm like, what am I gonna
do?
I don't know about this.
And then my sister invited me ona women's retreat who was run by
(12:01):
a life coach.
I'd never heard of a life coach.
Tracie (12:06):
When was this?
Do you remember?
Elisabeth (12:07):
This was like 20 mm, I dunno.
20 12, 20 13.
Something in there.
And she said the golden words,which is that.
Coaching in the United States isunregulated.
Right.
You could be a coach of anythingif people will pay you for it.
Tracie (12:28):
Right.
Elisabeth (12:28):
And that was just like a big click moment of like,
oh, I could do the work that Iwanna do without Right.
Tracie (12:40):
Spending three years in education there.
Elisabeth (12:43):
Right, right.
And I knew that I, I, I didn'twanna do deep psychological
work.
Tracie (12:50):
Right.
Elisabeth (12:51):
I'm a very like nuts and bolt grounded, practical
kind of person.
And what I was seeing in theparents of my students was that
they no longer had those kindsof nuts and bolts parenting
skills and they didn't need deeppsychological counseling.
I mean, some might.
(13:11):
Yeah, of course, but you know, alot of them just needed.
The education and the supportand the guidance, and the
accountability that, you know,generations prior parents may be
got by sitting down with coffeewith a girlfriend and sharing or
(13:31):
standing around at a barbecue onSaturday night when we weren't
slumped on our couches watchingNetflix.
Tracie (13:37):
Well, and this, so we've already kind of turned this
corner, so I'm gonna interruptyou just to say, you know, the
thing that I want all of our,our guests here on the podcast
to talk about is the bolddecision that they made that
changed everything for them.
We've already kind of gottenthere by talking about coaching
versus being a therapist versusteaching and all of these
(14:00):
things.
And so.
And, and I don't know that Iremember hearing the whole thing
about that.
I wanna say it's the, I don'tremember the name.
The resource teacher.
Elisabeth (14:12):
Oh, being a resource teacher.
Tracie (14:13):
Yeah.
Which honestly, my youngest wentto the resource teacher at his
school every week for a year anda half.
And it was life changing forhim.
Very, very supportive.
So I'm really glad that you didthat.
'cause I can see you in thatrole, like based on his
experience.
And so the, the change fromdeciding to leave teaching that
(14:35):
was, it was more natural than Ihad anticipated before because
you went from being a classroomteacher to a different kind of
teacher and then leavingteaching generally.
So that makes a lot more senseto me now than in, than in any
of our previous conversations.
So thank you.
Elisabeth (14:54):
Yeah, it definitely.
Gave me some practice.
So Right, the difference betweenbeing a classroom teacher where
mostly you're interacting withparents on a parent student
teacher conference and you'regoing boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, because the next person isalready standing outside the
door.
Yep.
Right.
You've been the parent wantingto talk still, but feeling the
(15:14):
pressure.
Yep.
But our time is up and so wecan't have very, you know,
deeper, complex conversations.
And it was.
One of the purposes of this jobwas to not have a lot on the
list of what was I having to doso that I might just be sitting
(15:36):
in my office with an emptyoffice when a parent walked in,
so that the office manager couldsay, no, the principal isn't
available.
Why don't you check and see ifMrs.
Stitt is in her office?
And then if I was, they couldcome in.
And so for the first time.
I was doing that coaching piecereally without even knowing, you
know, what I was doing.
(15:57):
Because, you know, you wouldcome in and everybody comes in
with a, like a little tip of theiceberg of the school problem.
Like, oh, it's a school issue,this is why I'm here.
Mm.
And it wasn't my job really tosolve problems.
It was really my job to justsay, well, okay, Tracy, tell me
more about that and what else isgoing on and what else, and
(16:19):
what's going on at home and howabout the other activities and
what you know.
And so bit by bit, question byquestion, getting more of the
base of the iceberg.
Tracie (16:33):
Yeah.
Well, and I love that, that thatworked.
The thing that comes to my mindis like they come in to talk to
the principal because it's aschool problem, but ultimately
it literally has nothing to dowith the principal.
That's the figurehead of theorganization at large, of the,
the facility.
Right.
(16:53):
But really what they needed wasto talk to you, to someone who
had some inkling of what wasactually happening from a
behavior standpoint, from anexperience standpoint out in the
school where the principal has avery different job to manage the
school, not necessarily thekids.
I mean, they, they're, you know,I'm not trying to.
(17:14):
To negate their effectivenesswith the kids.
Elisabeth (17:17):
Principals are wonderful and they wear so many
hats.
Yeah.
They don't ever have 45 minutesto just sort of say, you know,
tell me more.
Tracie (17:27):
Well, and as the top of a large organization, a lot, you
know, you have certain jobs thatare yours and certain jobs that
are delegated, just like anycompany, you know, it's a
division of a company.
Right.
So the principal has to be like,okay, well this.
Thing is something that isimportant for me to spend a lot
of time on or a little time on.
(17:48):
And this other person reallycould be more effective.
Exactly.
And that's where you were, is tobe the effective one.
And they needed you anywayultimately instead of the
principal.
Right?
Yeah.
But there still was a bigmoment.
It still was a leap.
Yeah.
So talk about like deciding theleap from from classroom to the
resource teacher, but then youdecided.
(18:10):
To start coaching and literallyleave the school, which just
like from an environment a dayto day I'm working for myself.
Talk about that decision.
Well, and first of all, Tracy,
Elisabeth (18:23):
I have to say that, yeah, I was doing the resource
teaching job.
I was still part-time in theclassroom.
I was doing two sections a dayin the classroom at this perfect
school.
Academic magnet school, great.
Super involved, quirky kids,lots of flexibility about what
we're, what we're teaching andhow we're teaching.
(18:43):
This was a perfect job and I.
You know, I probably could havejust stayed the other 10 years
and then I would be retiring atabout now from teaching and, you
know, having put in the, the,the years, the full, full
retirement years in the schooldistrict.
So it's not like I, you know,people are going like, oh, my
(19:08):
JOBI can't stand it.
Right?
No, like I really did love myjob and with the resource piece
I was getting enough.
Other stuff that wasn't commasplices that I think I could
have come through the 10 yearswith enough passion and energy
(19:30):
and commitment to show up for mykids every day as if it were my
first year teaching.
Tracie (19:35):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (19:36):
But with all the experience and wisdom.
That you came and all thoseyears?
Tracie (19:40):
Well, because we've all, as parents, a lot of us have
experienced the teacher who,like they aren't happy anymore
and they weren't, haven't beenhappy for years.
Yes.
And why are they still here?
And you could have not had thatissue.
Elisabeth (19:53):
I could have not had that issue.
And I was also very clear.
I had made a promise to myself.
It, it is unfair.
It is unfair to your students.
Mm-hmm.
It's one thing to beinexperienced.
You can't help that, and theonly thing you can do is to get,
teach more and get moreexperience.
Right.
It's, you know, you are not the,the full teacher when you're in
(20:15):
your first couple years ofteaching that you're gonna be
later.
There's no doubt about that.
But to not bow out and to stepaway when you are not showing up
a hundred percent.
Yeah.
That to me is, is I get it froma financial point of view.
It's too bad that the system'skind of like that, but to me it
(20:38):
really is, is unconscionable.
And I just promised myself thatI would never do it.
Tracie (20:43):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (20:44):
I wasn't there though.
So it was still more like havinglistened to these parents as the
outreach teacher and hearinglike levels of.
Overwhelm and anxiety and guilt.
Oh my gosh.
The levels of guilt that parentswere feeling.
And I kept thinking, oh mygoodness.
(21:06):
Parenting is always gonna bedemanding and it's always gonna
be complex because we're dealingwith human beings and
personalities and differentpieces.
But I was just observing so manyparents experiencing it as like.
Sucking all the joy out of life.
Tracie (21:25):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (21:27):
And I just kept thinking it didn't have to be
that way.
It didn't have to be that way,but I still wasn't like, okay,
I'm gonna stop the school yearand I'm gonna go and I'm, and
I'm gonna go do this.
Yeah.
The stars kind of aligned inthat I had had a particularly.
Intent session with a parent.
(21:48):
And then I walked to my box inthe office and every year the
teachers get a neon pink formthat says, do you wanna return
to your same position, your sameschool, in a different position,
a different school, or are youleaving?
(22:09):
And I just stood in the middleof the swirl of the office.
Pushing me aside, and I'm handholding this paper and I'm just
riveted to this paper.
And it just all flashed in amoment.
And I grabbed the nearest penand I checked the, I'm leaving
(22:29):
box and I signed my name and Ihanded it to the office manager
and it was like, here, takethis.
And I walked out of the room andI'm like, wow, what have I just
done?
I had already taken the firstweekend I, I got my coaches
(22:50):
training was through CoachesTraining Institute in San
Rafael, and I had already donetheir first three day weekend
and this was the sign to me togo sign up for the rest of their
weekends and, and which, so Itook I think two more within
before the end of the schoolyear.
And which meant I'd had to take,they were three day weekends, so
(23:10):
I had to take a Friday off,which was a big deal because I'm
not the kind of teacher who tookdays off.
Yeah.
And so that in itself felt like,you know, you feel like who's,
who's gonna be judging me?
Who's gonna be looking at me?
Like, who's, who am I lettingdown?
I mean, that brought up a wholehost of feelings.
(23:32):
Uh, but the school year endedand then.
I had done it.
I had given up my tenureteaching job.
Tracie (23:40):
Wild.
I love that the, yourdescription of holding that
paper with the swirling officelike that feels like a movie
scene to me.
I can totally picture it.
Wild.
Wild.
And that whoever it was that youhanded, that slip too must have
been like.
Wait, you checked the wrong.
(24:01):
Oh, she was too
Elisabeth (24:01):
busy.
She didn't look at it rightaway, I'm sure.
Oh, that's totally true.
Tracie (24:04):
Yes.
I'm sure that that's true.
But like in the movie, that'swhat would've happened.
That's what would've happened inthe movie.
Elisabeth (24:09):
Yeah, exactly.
'cause it would've been aboutyou because he would've been the
main character.
I didn't ask my husband.
I didn't even, you know, Ihadn't even really talked to him
about this.
Tracie (24:20):
Wow.
Elisabeth (24:20):
You know, I mean, over the, the, the previous
years.
I had kind of been doing myresearch and it was more like
when I was deciding, no, thatwas more when I had kind of said
to him like, yeah, you know, Ikind of looked into that.
I thought that wouldn't work,and dah, dah, dah, dah.
And, and then, you know, yeah.
Like, no, I didn't even asklike, are you okay with me
(24:41):
giving up my steady income?
And somehow, how did that go athome?
Oh, I mean, he's just, it's awhole other story.
He's an entrepreneur himselfand, and he's so.
Okay, great.
You know, like you go do whatyou wanna do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's, he is, he's a Sagittarius.
He's a freedom lovingSagittarius.
(25:03):
And so the idea that you would,first of all, the idea that you
would work the same tenured jobfor 25 years, I think to him was
the bigger mystery.
And so the idea that you wouldjust say, okay, I'm gonna go do
this, was much more in line withhim.
Yeah.
But you know, even I.
(25:24):
Even when things have gottentough, Tracy, and you know,
there's nothing about classroomteaching and working in a school
that teaches you anything aboutrunning a business yourself.
Nothing.
So there were no skills totransfer there.
Coaches training Institute atthat time didn't do any of the
(25:45):
business end of things.
I'm not sure if they've changeda little bit, but.
They would have maybe 20 minuteconversations at the end of a
session about, you know, how doyou get clients?
Not helpful.
So I was really well trained asa coach and obviously all of the
experience that I'd had alreadymade that feel very natural and
(26:06):
very easy.
But yeah, business has, has beenblah, blah, blah, blah.
Tracie (26:12):
Yeah.
I mean, the good thing aboutbeing a coach is that the
coaching is what we signed onfor.
So when you get to help thepeople, everything starts to
feel good again.
Yes.
Yeah, of course.
We've got to work through ourchallenges on the business side
of thing, and they're alwaysgoing to be there, but I.
Talk a little bit about, youknow, I know that you work with
(26:34):
a lot of parents one-on-one,that you do webinars, that you
do summits.
You had one recently.
You know, all of those kinds ofspeaking to larger groups.
But a lot of your work isone-on-one because every family
and every situation isdifferent.
So talk a little bit about whatsomeone could expect if they
(26:55):
were to talk to you abouthelping them with their family
situation.
Elisabeth (27:00):
Sure, thank you for asking.
We start with a getting to knowyou call and that's really what
it is.
I don't do any coaching on thatcall.
It's just an opportunity for youto paint the picture of what is
parenting feeling like right nowin your home and what are you
wanting it to be.
Tracie (27:20):
Mm-hmm.
Elisabeth (27:20):
And if I feel I can be of service, then I, you know,
ask parents permission to sharehow do I work with them and.
If I don't feel I can be ofservice, I say to me it's
sounding like this is the kindof professional you need.
And if they are, you know,somewhere in my circle and I can
(27:43):
give them resources, I give themresources of a concrete nature.
And if it's more, this is thekind of professional you need to
be looking for.
Sometimes that's.
Tracie (27:53):
Yeah, that's, and so what came to my mind was, you
know that because you're not,'cause you're not a therapist
'cause you didn't do the MFTsituation.
You know, a lot of times peoplewill come to therapy when
there's a problem versus whatI'm hearing you say is maybe
parents are saying, you know,it's not great.
(28:14):
And I'd like things to, to turna corner in this direction.
It's not like it's a problem,one problem necessarily, and
maybe it is, but in a generalsense, like it's just not going
the way that I thought it would.
I would want it to go, or, youknow, maybe it
Elisabeth (28:31):
should go well, I, I do have to say my most favorite
clients are my proactive ones.
Tracie (28:37):
Yeah.
Elisabeth (28:37):
And those are the people who are, I had a, I had a
client who had a 16 month oldand they realized they were
coming up to the terrible twosand they were thinking, you
know, I mean, we used to saythere's no manual.
Unfortunately there are.
Way too many manuals now.
And so, right, that's part ofthe overwhelm, right?
(28:58):
Part of the overwhelm is thatyou sit down to answer a
seemingly simple question andyou get 18 different opinions
that all seem to be expressed inlanguage that says, if you don't
do this, you're gonna ruin yourkid forever.
And so instead of saying oh,that's empowering'cause I have
information, now I have moreoverwhelm and, and to do it.
(29:21):
And so.
The biggest part of coaching forme then is to get all the puzzle
pieces on the table.
That's a big part of it becausefamilies are unique and all the
different personalities areunique.
And then alongside that, Ireally want to know what are,
what are the values that parentsare operating under?
(29:45):
And that's where we begin tofind a match, right?
That's where we begin to say,I'm going to connect these.
Values with these parentingapproaches.
Mm-hmm.
So I don't put myself, I don'tcall myself a gentle parent, a
conscious parent even a positiveparent because I really want to
(30:10):
start with the parents that Ihave in front of me and who they
are and where they are,
Tracie (30:15):
and
Elisabeth (30:16):
what's important to them.
What's important to them.
And what's gonna work for them?
So most parents sign up for mythree month coaching package.
It's 10 sessions.
Over those 10 sessions.
We do a lot of immediate problemsolving in the beginning.
Well, we do values work first,then a lot of immediate, like
where, where are the, the, thethrobs pain points.
(30:39):
And then things usually begin toget better and.
That's when we can begin to godeeper in what's your master
plan?
Well, who, who's the adultyou're raising?
Who do you want at 21?
Mm-hmm.
What are the qualities andcharacteristics that you would
like to have a boss brag to youabout?
(31:00):
We love, you know, oh man, if Ihad 10 Rios Rios, we would be
off and running because theseare the qualities that Reus
shows up with, and.
Then you back plan and you say,great, how am I for training and
nurturing and focusing on thosequalities?
(31:22):
Yeah.
As I raise my kids.
So at the end of 10 weeks, Idon't just want the immediate
problems plan solved, I want youto have your master plan.
Tracie (31:32):
Yeah, I love that.
And you know, I feel veryfortunate that I found coaching
when my kids were young and itchanged a lot of my thought
processes.
In raising them since I was asolo parent by then to to know
that ultimately the goal was tohelp them to thrive.
Right.
It wasn't to help them succeed.
(31:54):
It was to help them to thrive.
Yeah.
And a lot of people don't havethat perspective.
I know I didn't have it beforefinding coaching for myself, and
so I love the idea, like I canjust keep imagining myself had I
never.
Lost my husband, had I neverbeen a coach.
And being that kind of corporatequeen that I was on the road to
(32:17):
becoming and thinking verydifferently than the way that I
think today.
And how that would have shapedthe kids and how they grew up
and yeah, experiences that Iwould've given them or not given
them as a result and everything.
So, if a parent is open to that.
Without having the experience ofhaving a coach, I hope that they
(32:41):
can hear this and know that,that that's the benefit, is the,
the sitting down and, and likereally thinking about what it is
that you're trying to do asopposed to the things that you
have been told you should do.
'Cause it can be, yeah,
Elisabeth (32:58):
and, and there's all the shoulds.
That's a piece of it.
And honestly, a big piece of itis just that.
A lot of times we're runningaround like chickens with our
heads cut off.
Yep.
And we're parenting by the seatof our pants.
Tracie (33:11):
Absolutely.
And it's understandable without,without having that like
strategy underneath it, you'rejust living day to day.
Yes, yes.
You know, we don't need 20 yearsof survival mode for these kids.
Please
Elisabeth (33:22):
help me get through bedtime.
Please help me get to Friday.
Please help me get to summer.
Yes.
And you
Tracie (33:29):
know.
That's really too bad.
It's a, it's really unfortunate.
And, and it doesn't, and that'sthe thing is it doesn't have to
be that way.
People don't recognize that itcan be different until maybe,
until something goes wrong ormaybe until they just all of a
sudden have been opened up to anew way of thinking about it.
(33:52):
And they, someone mentions.
The work that you do, or someonementions how something has
changed for them and thereforethey're like, oh, I never even
thought that that could bedifferent.
Let me think that for myself.
So it's, it's
Elisabeth (34:07):
what a gift and it's, I mean, it's an investment in
time and money for sure.
And yet it's like, you knowwhat, what?
But it's our kids.
It's worth it.
What doesn't get put on yourgravestone?
Right.
You are never going to say.
That, I'm sorry.
I spent time.
I didn't, you know, that time wespent with Elisabeth really
wasn't, wasn't worthwhile,right?
(34:27):
And I do have a really goodguarantee.
I say that if at the end ofshowing up for making the
appointment, showing up for theappointment, doing the homework
at the end of three sessions,I'm not your person.
You're not feeling it.
I refund the whole package.
Very generous.
And the reason that I give thatguarantee is because if it's not
(34:50):
a good fit, you are not gonna dothe work.
Yep.
And if you're not doing thework, then you are not
fulfilling my mission, which isto transform families and to
bring peace to the world, onefamily at a time.
So I wanna release you and Iwant you to go find whoever your
person is.
Yep.
(35:11):
In 10 years, it's been twopeople.
And in both those cases therewas one spouse who was really
heels dug in Yeah.
About not wanting to do thework.
Tracie (35:26):
Yeah.
Which makes total sense.
'cause you know it,'cause it is,you have to be vulnerable as a
parent to take the informationand to take it not as criticism
Yeah.
But as an opportunity for.
And, and all of the good things.
Yeah.
(35:47):
Well, my friend, I know that wecould just keep talking for a
whole other hour, but, but thatjust means we're gonna have to
do another episode sometime inthe future because you know,
what I really want parents tohear from, from hearing you
today, in this episode today isthat they, that there is,
(36:07):
there's hope, I guess would beone thing, but really it's, you
know, it's, it's.
I want the parents to know thatthey can create what they want
with their family, but I alsojust want people to know women
who are listening entrepreneurs,to know leaders, that taking the
leap towards something that youknow is what you like, you're
(36:30):
meant.
To be doing be, even if you'vebeen doing something different
and it's been a long time andit's how do you give up the
income and the this, and how doyou make the change that making
the change is worth it.
Elisabeth (36:41):
Yes.
Tracie (36:44):
Even though you know how to be an entrepreneur here,
you're 10 years later stillhelping parents, one family at a
time.
Elisabeth (36:50):
That's right.
And statistically not that manynew businesses last 10 years.
Tracie (36:54):
Absolutely
Elisabeth (36:55):
right.
And so, you know, it does.
What it says is that even whenthings get rocky and get hard,
then you have that coachingsession which lights you on fire
and reminds you of.
The impact that you're having onthe world and the difference
that you're making in the world.
Mm-hmm.
And that's what gets you backto, okay, it's fine.
(37:16):
It's gonna work itself out.
Yep.
Tracie (37:19):
I love it.
Well, I hope that if people arein a place where this is helpful
to them and the work that you dois helpful to them, that they
will reach out.
We'll put all of your info andeverything of course, in the
show notes.
I just wanna thank you for yourtime today.
It's always a gift to get totalk to you.
I feel like my cup is awfultoday with your joyfulness, and
(37:43):
I wanna thank you for being onthe podcast.
I love you so much.
We'll talk soon.
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